In hindsight, the year 1930 wasn't the best time for my family to choose to move from Germany to the U.S. of A.
I will admit, we had some good times despite our inability to achieve "The American Dream", or whatever they used to call it. In fact, one of my first memories of my time in this land was when I managed to ruin that mean Mayor Finkleton's schemes. He plotted to stage a robbery at the local bank, and use the publicity from catching the crooks to support his presidential campaign. I may have only been ten at the time, not to mention one of the hostages, but I sure was able to use what father taught me about the inner workings of pocket watches to good use.
Oh, there were also plenty of comical moments. One time, my mother had too much beer during Oktoberfest and thought a hair on father's coat was from some other lady, when it was really her own the whole time. And I doubt that I'll ever forget that time crazy uncle Friedrich managed to make that dead man come back to life with only the train tracks we pitched our tents next to, a bicycle, and a well-timed thunderstorm. I know that poor mortician never will!
However, that's all in the past. Since those days, I've been blessed with a lovely home, a beautiful wife, and two boys that can goose step as well as that famous, wonderful Fuehrer. And yet, while that wild part of my life may have ended long ago, it's sometimes nice to look back at it all and think about how those events made me the man that I am today...
...Oh, dear. My darling is looking at my finest shoes, and I assume she's trying to recall if she knows anyone with red hair. Looks like I may have one last adventure in my near future....
- Setting: Wrong Side of the Tracks
- Plot: Dénouement Episode
- Narrative Device: Affair Hair
- Hero: Badass Unintentional
- Villain: Evil Plan
- Character As Device: Mad Scientist
- Characterization Device: National Stereotyping Tropes
edited 26th Oct '11 9:18:22 PM by EndarkCuli
I actually did one of these about a year ago. I don't have the original generated block (or I can't find it), but here's what I've got.
A white man is dead in San Diego's Little Tijuana neighborhood and Charlie Smith has the case.
The department may think that chicano Charlie is the man to be asking questions, but he's white on the inside and the folks can tell. How can he get answers when most won't even give him the time of day? When nobody will talk, Charlie has to fall back on his personal charisma and the advice of his beloved mother.
Even if Charlie can get Little Tijuana to warm up to him, how will they react when it seems like rich white men are trying to evict the people of Little Tijuana and make themselves richer? What can Charlie do when he's caught in the crossfire?
My Blog | My Steam profile
I will not jeopardize the safety of the multiverse by following the letter of the law over its spirit.
I will not jeopardize the safety of the multiverse by following the letter of the law over its spirit.
I will not jeopardize the safety of the multiverse by following the letter of the law over its spirit.
Had it been the work of any of their other agents, the British Royal Dimensional Defense Ministry would have been overjoyed. The robot army of the mad Professor Relentless had been defeated, and the professor himself, despite what one might expect from his name, had given himself up peacefully. But the agent in question was Sir Edward Benchley, and his foolhardy recklessness and refusal to look beyond the Ministry's rulebook had caused more danger to the multiverse then one mad scientist ever could have. Taken off duty and sent back to the academy to learn how to "think outside of the box", Benchley faces a return to school conditions straight from a children's novel.
But Sir Edward might have more to worry about then merely dunce caps and detention sessions at the blackboard. While Relentless was an evildoer who knew when to fold his hand, the same can't be said of the interdimensional corporation who loaned him the money to build those robots. And with the professor out of the picture, they might have to take more... extreme measures to get their interest back. Add to this the mystery of why the academy - in Britain - is suddenly crawling with koalas, and it looks like our intrepid - if foolish - protagonist may be in for quite a time.
- Setting: Misplaced Wildlife
- Plot: All Devouring Black Hole Loan Sharks
- Narrative Device: Writing Lines
- Hero: Lord Error-Prone
- Villain: Graceful Loser
- Character As Device: Dimensional Traveler
- Characterization Device: Lawful Stupid
Phew - this was harder then it looked.
edited 3rd Nov '11 5:37:52 PM by nrjxll
Grand Poobah
Dale's always had an uncommon knack for anthropology, but his anger management problems relegated him to the local university. Which so happened to be Yale. Which so happened to have a very exotic guest this term - M'Tonga, the son of the chief of a small tribe in the Amazon rainforest.
After a riotous grad and post-grad program, M'Tonga is entirely assimilated into Western culture, and he and Dale have become close friends. M'Tonga even invites Dale to his village in the foliage. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and Dale can't say no.
The treehouses are comfortable enough, though the near-constant rain means a lot of staying indoors. Dale takes heart in watching the villagers in adjacent treehouses, knowing that they'll at least be acting naturally when they think he isn't watching.
It so happens they're acting too naturally. He spies the local witch doctor doing something to M'Tonga's favored drink, and the next morning, M'Tonga is found dead with no discernable cause. And Dale can't say a thing - he doesn't speak the language.
All of this is making Dale very... angry. And you wouldn't like him when he's angry. Can he avenge his friend's death, while still maintaining a normal presence in the village? 'cause anthropologists aren't supposed to mess up a culture and introduce toasters and poison tests. couldn't work this explanation in.
Setting: Tree Top Town
Plot: Unlocking the Talent
Narrative Device: "Rear Window" Witness
Hero: Part-Time Hero
Villain: Master Poisoner
Character As Device: Majored in Western Hypocrisy
Characterization Device: Anger Tropes
EDIT: putting all the generator stuff on separate lines. derp.
edited 19th Nov '11 3:32:40 PM by unitedfruit
Here's my pitch!
Setting: MacGuffin Location
Plot: The Greatest Story Never Told
Narrative Device: Decapitated Army
Hero: Harem Hero
Villain: Big Bad Duumvirate
Character As Device: Commissioner Gordon
Characterization Device: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jack Daniels
So, here's my pitch for the show, called The Fighters. Westbarge is more than just another sleepy New England town: it also sits on top of an enormous underground lake of oil. When three entrepreneurs learn about this, they instantly begin to try and seek control over it. These entrepreneurs include: Valerian Byko, a manipulative genius who controls the governments of the entire first world, Frederick Novosi, a former Olympic athlete who wants to be able to retire in peace, and Gavin Chander, a self-made family man who wants the oil in order to escape financial ruin. But the world's manipulative trickster deity decides to each of the entrepreneurs a gift: the ability to give superpowers to anyone they meet by eye contact. Each of them organizes an elite squad. Ualerian selects the brightest young minds to form his army, Feogen chooses the greatest athletes in the national leagues, and Gavin chooses his son, Hasim. Hasim's power is the ability to create distinctly feminine creatures with immense fighting capacity. But he has no desire to be dragged into his father's fight, until his mother is killed by one of Valerian's henchmen. Hasim becomes a key player in this war for control of the oil. Then, midway into season one, things take a turn for the worse: Byko and Novosi join forces and kill Gavin in a raid on his house. Thankfully, Hasim's friend Ian and his teacher Dragan Dilbert are there, and Gavin uses his dying breath to give them superpowers. Ian gains super-strength from alcohol(which has the unfortunate side effect of sudden personality changes), and Dilbert becomes virtually indestructible. Hasim and Ian fight against Byko and Novosi's forces, with Dilbert commanding them from the sidelines, completely safe.
In the explosive finale, one of Byko's new henchmen has Reality Warper powers. The deity sees this as a threat, so he descends to Westbarge to clean up the situation. Instead, the henchman gives his powers to Byko, who kills the deity and ascends to the heavens. Hasim reluctantly allies with Novosi, and their combined super-powered forces fight with Byko's troops while Hasim and Ian sneak in. At the last minute, Novosi betrays them and Byko prepares to wipe them from existence. Instead, Hasim uses his powers creatively, and generates a soldier right inside of [[Gorn Byko]]. Novosi panics and tries to summon his troops, but Ian dispatches him easily. But it isn't over yet: God is dead, and someone needs to take his place to prevent the world from disappearing. Just before he dies, Byko gives his powers to Hasim, who takes away everyone's superpowers and then drains the oil well. Unfortunately, Hasim must now leave the Earth forever. He bids goodbye to his friends as he ascends into the sky.
edited 24th Nov '11 5:58:22 PM by ElderAtropos
Short Hair
The dim realm of R'lyeh shudders. Great Cthulhu rises from Its slumber. A race of intelligent beetles turns to worshipping It rather than shiny pieces of glass.
Nyarlathotep hears a call. It puts on another new form and sets out. A small galaxy goes insane and implodes.
The timbre of ten thousand jarring pipes changes. Azathoth stirs Itself, displeased but then interested. It percolates through a series of dimensions. A kitten in Newcastle upon Tyne pees itself.
"Do you feel it? My kin approach. Be welcome in my realm, Chira Mospak. I am G't'R'l, youngest of the Old Ones. We have tried for ages to bring our wisdom to the reality you have constructed. We offer immortality and ask so little in return. But we cannot exist for long in your tedious regularity with its straight lines and neat corners and oh so boring circles.
"The others remain mired in the old ways. They make a foray into your realm, they fail, they come back and say, 'The stars weren't right,' or 'They had an Elder Sign,' or (my favorite), 'You can't get good help any more.'
"Be my emissary. I will send you to the galaxies far far away and the places no one has gone before. They will listen to you. You have the gift of leadership, since you are an aspect of the Eternal Champion.
"I can offer you whatever you desire. My form can become whatever I wish, such as this, a human male. Do you not prefer me thus to the foolish Captain Captain? What say you?"
- Setting: Shared Universe
- Plot: Unwanted Rescue
- Narrative Device: Avengers Assemble
- Hero: Horrifying Hero
- Villain: Near-Villain Victory
- Character As Device: Hypercompetent Sidekick
- Characterization Device: Unlucky Busty Girl
An explanation, since the setup here may not be obvious. The "hero" is the pantheon of the Cthulhu Mythos, so G't'R'l is the "sidekick" trying to "rescue" Mospak. G't'R'l is also the "busty girl" who gets dumped for Captain Captain. Right, Mospak? You're not going to side against humanity just because CC represents humanity here. Really, you can't.
Tune in next time for ... whatever the Story Generator spits out.
edited 8th Dec '11 2:34:33 PM by RalphCrown
Under World. It rocks!
Short Hair
I am Chira Mospak, the best starship pilot in the known universe. I've flown into a black hole and out the other side. I've fought the Dyr'Bik, aliens who can melt your bones at close range. I've visited more universes than you've ever heard of.
I came here, to the last refuge of the Eldar, the dying race of space elves. I convinced them to sacrifice themselves, even though I swore never to get involved in genocide. They had forseen their extinction, so they agreed to help me kill a god. If we lost, their example might motivate the other peoples of the multiverse to continue the fight.
The admirals and their fleets followed me into the dimension of G't'R'l, youngest of the Great Old Ones. The Eldar fought bravely and fiercely, but there were too many of the abominable creatures. In the end all the Eldar died. Many wonderful and terrible secrets died with them.
G't'R'l saved me for last, because It still wanted me as Its ambassador to the sane dimensions. I was ready to summon six other incarnations of the Eternal Champion, because that seemed like the only way to fight It on Its own terms. We might have destroyed a portion of the multiverse in the process, but better that than let the whole of it fall to those alien gods.
Something had happened to G't'R'l. I believe the Eldar used a psychotoxin, a mental plague that attacks the target's brain and spreads to any being controlling the target. That's the only way I can explain it. G't'R'l could use telepathy only weakly, and It seemed to have lost control of some of Its appendages.
I said, "You're not a Great Old One at all, are you, G't'R'l? What do you think will happen when the real ones answer your call and find out you can't keep your promise?" I found my ship and came back here.
I left you behind to save your sanity and your life, Captain Captain. And after all that, you're having a fit because you didn't get top billing? Because you weren't the one saving the universe? You're barely fit to save a pigeon, much less a universe. Get out of here.
- Setting: Hidden Elf Village
- Plot: No Sympathy
- Narrative Device: Batman Grabs a Gun
- Hero: Doomed Moral Victor
- Villain: Villainous Breakdown
- Character As Device: Homeless Pigeon Person
- Characterization Device: Informed Judaism
Obviously no one's interested, but her name is pronounced Sheer-ah Mawsh-pock. It may be against the rules (and common sense), but this pitch is a sequel to the previous pitch—again, obvious.
Under World. It rocks!
[insert title here]
Have you heard of the Twilight Station? It's a place that's supposed to transport you to the dream world, and I keep hearing that the rails on it's track run right under our sleepy little town. But where is the station? How long will it take to find it? What happens when we reach the dream world? No one can answer those questions.
My... "friends", really just people from my science class, Luke, Cassie, and Amy, as well as myself, planned to sneak out late into the night and find the station. The plan was simple; find the station and get to the dream world. (Though why Luke kept winking at Cassie I'll never know...) Our parents all thought we were sleeping at each other's houses, anyway. Unfortunately for us, we weren't the only ones looking for it. But why does that guy look so pale? And why does he keep referring to "master"? And is it just me, or does he always seem to benefit from our accomplishments?
I don't know where we're headed, and neither do these "friends" of mine who keep stabbing each other in the back, but I can't get off the ride now...
- Setting: Mac Guffin Location
- Plot: Xanatos Gambit
- Narrative Device: Slumber Party Ploy
- Hero: Chaste Hero
- Villain: Vampire Vannabe
- Character As Device: I Just Want To Have Friends
- Characterization Device: Stopped Caring
So... That was kind of challenging. I like it! ^_^ Fitting in a villain was hard, and I guess I could have done better, but I think it works. I don't think I left much out, in any case.
edited 27th Dec '11 11:16:13 PM by Kuiper
Hey! Read my fanfic: Here
Short Hair
Here, sit down. You look like you could use a rest. First day? Don't worry, it gets easier.
Have you worked with anime children before? Well, the main thing is to keep your wits about you. Some of them cast spells, some of them shapeshift. Don't worry about the ones with super speed, they always do it in slow motion, so you'll see them coming. As a rule of thumb, if they start flashing, get out of the way.
See Stygrash there? The one that looks like an outline? Yesterday he was probably nothing but a sketch on a piece of notebook paper. A day later he's already lost his mother—we don't know how yet—and he's been snubbed by Binari, who preempted his welcoming party with one of her own. Right, you're supposed to feel sorry for him, but he'll be okay.
Hello, Domovo. This is Miss Locora, the new teacher. Domovo is learning how to be an evil little expletive. Isn't that right, Domovo?
Yes, headmistress.
Run along now. No more explosions, you'll wake the turtle and we'll all have to swim home.
Just one more, I've got the laugh down. Mwa ha ha ha ha! <WHOOM> Mwa ha ha ha ha! See?
Run along.
- Setting: Turtle Island
- Plot: Children Raise You
- Narrative Device: Party Scheduling Gambit
- Hero: Hurting Hero
- Villain: Starter Villain
- Character As Device: Benevolent Boss
- Characterization Device: Evil Laugh
◥▶◀◤
Setting: Orphanage of Fear Plot: Jumping Off the Slippery Slope Narrative Device: Offhand Backhand Hero: Badass Unintentional Villain: Bastard Understudy Character As Device: Dangerous Deserter Characterization Device: Hormone-Addled Teenager
The year is 1937 Germany, Fredrick has been at the orphanage since his mother died when he was seven, he's 15 now. He's been mostly alone in a horrid orphanage, his only friend is a girl about his age.
The story picks up the the day before her untimely death, she's been acting strange for weeks but hadn't said anything. Later that night he stumbles upon the headmaster beating her to death though he doesn't know it's her at the time. He runs back to his bed and realizes he left his friend to die the next morning.
The headmaster covers up her death by claiming she was a french spy and Jewish sympathizer, who was trying to escape the country and he found about it and stopped her so they leave him be claiming him to be a hero. Fredrick knows none of this is true, so he confront him that night from the back but gets a backhand to his face, before he can get out a word so he decides to shut up and go to bed.
As he sleeps that night, he tosses and turns as he comes to realize he let a person die when he could have saved them, worst he let the person he loved more than anyone in the world his only reason to smile die, because he was afraid. At this moment he snaps, and decides no matter how far it takes him into the abyss he will break down the headmasters throne and kill him like the dog that he is, even if it takes him another fifteen years to be able to do so.
and he'll start with the headmaster's second in command. His son, a young man a few years older than he is who hopes to inherit his fathers lineage.
Rarely active, try DA/Tumblr Avatar by pippanaffie.deviantart.com
Short Hair
You thrilled to the exploits of Richard Riddick (Vin Diesel) in The Chronicles of Riddick. This sequel returns to Crematoria, a world so hot that sunlight can kill you in seconds.
You chuckled at the misadventures of Harry and Marv (Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern), the hapless hoodlums in the Home Alone movies. They've come to Crematoria, which is now a resort, to steal a fabulous gem.
But first they've got to get past Riddick's new partners: Charlie's Angels (Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu).
Harry and Marv make their move during a state dinner for visiting royalty. That's right, Princess Mia (Anne Hathaway) returns.
A comedy of errors ensues. Then Riddick declares martial law.
Coming next summer: The Chronicles of Riddick 3 / Princess Diaries 3 / Charlie's Angels 3 / Home Alone 4.
Because, even if you didn't like any of these franchises, you can't help watching how we totally botch this train wreck. You can't help it.
- Setting: Mercurial Base
- Plot: Crossover Index
- Narrative Device: Fancy Dinner
- Hero: Failure Knight
- Villain: Paid Harem
- Character As Device: Bait-and-Switch Tyrant
- Characterization Device: Creepy Good
Ran a few times through the generator today. I don't really have the time to write up any of these, so I figured I'd set them out for anyone who's interested:
- Setting: Hollow World
- Plot: Macho Disaster Expedition
- Narrative Device: Dream Sequence
- Hero: Hero Secret Service
- Villain: Emperor Scientist
- Character As Device: Heartwarming Orphan
- Characterization Device: Kingpin in His Gym
- Setting: Airstrip One
- Plot: Wayback Trip
- Narrative Device: Unsafe Haven
- Hero: Magician Detective
- Villain: Sinister Minister
- Character As Device: Creator's Pet
- Characterization Device: Driven to Suicide
- Setting: Big Fancy Castle
- Plot: Celebrity Star
- Narrative Device: Not Afraid of You Anymore
- Hero: Unlikely Hero
- Villain: Dragon with an Agenda
- Character As Device: God of Evil
- Characterization Device: Really Was Born Yesterday
- Setting: Hacker Cave
- Plot: Plotline Crossover
- Narrative Device: Unbalanced By Rival's Kid
- Hero: Determinator
- Villain: Aliens Are Bastards
- Character As Device: Officer O'Hara
- Characterization Device: Large and in Charge
Short Hair
First my cat disappeared. That didn't bother me. He always came back.
I started to wonder what was going on at Robert W. Chambers High School when they changed their schedule. It can't be good for kids to have classes at night and sleep all day. My son, Trevor, wouldn't talk to me about it. Then again, he never talked to me.
When the dead cats started to turn up, I had a talk with my neighbor, Bob. He hacked into the school computer system but couldn't find anything unusual. Apart from the new schedule, that is. Bob and I took turns watching the school.
When the strange lights began, I had to investigate. We went in on Saturday morning. Bob stood lookout while I broke into the robotics lab. They'd built a few robots that looked like cats, with razor claws and electroshock tails. To avoid tipping my hand, I left them alone, although I did make a couple of changes to their programming. Next stop, the gym. They'd turned it into a hydroponic farm, not for marijuana but for catnip.
Trevor was on guard. "Stay back, I don't want to hurt you," he said. He had a gun. "I know you're not my real father."
"I'll give you a free shot," I said. His first bullet bounced off my force field. So did the others. So did the gun. I shot him, but only because he would have reported me.
We carried his body to my house. I got some tools together and did an autopsy. I found organs I'd never heard of, and the ones I thought I recognized were in odd places. Bob had excused himself before I started cutting, so I made up a story about aliens. He wanted to call NASA or the FBI. I suggested the Air Force.
While Bob tried to find someone in the government who cared about aliens, I checked on my basement stash. Then I went back to the school.
I expected to find him in the principal's office, and I did. Cassius, my cat. "You have some nerve," I said. "We had our schedule worked out to conquer this time period, but you couldn't wait. You took the Imperious Formula so everyone would obey you. You took over the school. You genetically altered the students to be more like cats. You had them build catbots and test them on the local pets. And all so you could grow catnip and get high. Well, fun's over." I'd already summoned the catbots. They were waiting outside.
Bob had finally cornered someone at an air base who would come check into his story. I congratulated him and sent him home. Then I loaded up my car, armed the bomb under my house, and headed south. I'd have to start over, but I had plenty of time. I could expect to live another two thousand years.
- Setting: High School
- Plot: Finding Judas
- Narrative Device: The Main Characters Do Everything
- Hero: Reckless Pacifist
- Villain: Conqueror from the Future
- Character As Device: Back-Alley Doctor
- Characterization Device: Younger Than They Look
edited 20th Jan '12 6:07:43 AM by RalphCrown
Under World. It rocks!
Hello? Is anyone there?
Greetings. Pt'jsr with Muchachas Technical Support. You how may assist I?
Oh, thank the stars! I've been trying to reach someone for days, weeks now. It's hard to tell. Things are so different here. It's almost more than I can bear.
Where are you? From your locator can't get a clear reading I.
I'm on a starship. We went through some kind of rift. Everything is different here. The stars wobble like jelly, and I hear bongos when I walk.
Identity?
You mean, who are we? I'm Pixley. Captain Captain and I are galactic heroes. We met Chira Mospak on Strellec Minor.
Of Chira know I.
Everybody does. So Captain was trying to impress her with his piloting skills, I guess, and we hit that rift almost before we realized it was there. Oh no, I'm out of pistachios! Where's my chewing gum?
Dimensional shifter found have you?
Dimensional shifter? What's that?
Experimental technology. Remote activation.
Nobody at Muchachas told us about "experimental technology."
Secret wouldn't be it then, mmmm? Manual have read you?
There's a manual? No, we didn't read it. Wait, you sent us here on purpose? Hello? Hello?
- Setting: World of Chaos
- Plot: One We Prepared Earlier
- Narrative Device: Read the Freaking Manual
- Hero: The Ace
- Villain: Evil Plan
- Character As Device: Fragile Flower
- Characterization Device: Addiction Displacement
Under World. It rocks!