- "Go Big or Go Home"
Ron: Under my tutelage, you'll grow from boys into men, from men into gladiators and from gladiators into Swansons. Behold! The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.
- Leslie makes an unusual request of Ann.
Leslie: Would you be cool doing things that a prostitute does?
Leslie: Minus the money?
Ann: Definitely yes then.
- "Flu Season"
- According to one of the writers, the funniest line ever spoken in the show is an ad-lib by Chris Pratt.
Listen, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here [Motions toward the address bar of an internet browser] and it says you could have "network connectivity problems."
- Leslie's increasingly bizarre fever delusions.
- Chris obsessing over his sickness.
Chris: (looking into a mirror) Stop. Pooping.
Chris: Oh my god. The microchip has been compromised.
Chris: This floor is my friend!
- "Ron and Tammy: Part Two"
- Ron's mustache rubbing off from... "friction". The reactions of Ben and Leslie seal the deal.
- Much of the episode qualifies, but a sneaky one. Jerry is the only one that seems to have completely missed that Ron and Tammy are bad together, including bring a wedding gift to the intervention. When Tammy shows up at the intervention and proceeds to make out with a now shirtless Ron, everyone leaves the room. Except Jerry who never got up.
- Ron finally coming to his senses and breaking up with Tammy when she starts beating up Tom. Ron equates hurting Tom with hurting a defenseless child and picks him up and walks out with him over his shoulder.
- "Media Blitz"
- Ron typing every word he knows.
- Ben's freak-out on "Ya Heard? With Perd".
Ben: Come on! Who hasn't had gay thoughts?
- And later, his peevish mocking of Perd's name.
Ben: More like Turd Crapley.
- Natalie getting Andy detained by the school security guard.
: Sir, are you trying to lure this girl into your van? Andy
: Yeah, and she's being really difficult about it.
- Andy shouldn't even be driving. His license is "crazy" expired.
- After Ben freaks out in the interview with Crazy Ira and The Douche:
Leslie:We need him. If they ask us about the budget, he's our numbers guy.
Tom: Well, we should just slap a pair of Ray-Bans on a calculator, cause that would be way more charming.
- "Ben Wyatt: Human Disaster"
- "Time Capsule"
- What are Andy's good qualities? He's nice, and he's in a band! That's it.
- Coupled with the look on Chris's face.
- And the best part? It's enough.
- Leslie listing off all of Pawnee's slogans.
Leslie: Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp.
Leslie: Please remember, this is a government project. So, we need to refrain from corporate promotion and religious items. Who'd like to start?
Man: I think we should put in the Bible.
- Ben's reaction to walking in to see Ron brandishing a hacksaw.
Ben: Whoa, what's going on?
Leslie: Some guy handcuffed himself to a pipe in my office because we wouldn't put a copy of Twilight in the time capsule.
- "Harvest Festival"
Leslie: The atrocities are in blue.
- Everyone's reaction to Li'l Sebastian. Especially Ron's glee.
- Ron says that in order to find the missing Li'l Sebastian the team needs a higher view point. Andy takes a long look at the ferris wheel and then suggests that he climb it.
- Ron demanding everyone apologize. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome (for calling out everyone's pettiness/stupidity) and a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming (because he knows that for once it's not Jerry's fault (kinda) and showing how much he cares about the April/Andy relationship).
- The animated reenactment of the curse.
- The curse removal ceremony.
: (speaking Wamapoke language)
I am not saying anything. No-one can understand me anyway. Doobee. Doobee. Doo.
- He also "blesses" Ben by saying "Hey, dummy!" in Wamapoke and chucking dirt in his face.
- Andy's weird method of showing affection for April.
Andy: Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce!
- The calm, relaxing scene where Ben and Jerry listen to the old lady playing the piano at the inn. It then instantly cuts to this head interview.
Ben: Yeah, she died, like, 20 minutes after that.
- "April and Andy's Fancy Party"
- April and Andy ask their guests to bring something to their dinner party. Chris is asked to bring a cake. Instead he brings a vegetable loaf because "it's healthier". A disgusted Ron says:
- The cold open, where at a meeting Ron pretends to yank out his own tooth (which a dentist had removed the day before) causing everyone to freak out, some to leave the room and Tom to faint.
- Chris scaring Orin. Chris repels emos, apparently.
- The Animal Control guys releasing the pigeons at the end of the ceremony.
- Tom explaining his food lexicon.
Tom: "Zerts" are what I call desserts. "Tray-trays" are entrees. I call sandwiches "sammies", "sandoozles" or "Adam Sandlers". Air conditioners are "cool blasterz" with a "z". I don't know where that came from. I call cakes "big ol' cookies". I call noodles "long ass rice". Fried chicken is "fry fry chicky chick". Chicken parm is "chickey chickey parm parm". Chicken cacciatore: "chickey catch". I call eggs "pre-birds" or "future birds". Root beer is "super water". Tortillas are "bean blankies". And I call forks "food rakes".
- "Jerry's Painting"
- Ben's sneaking back to check out Jerry's painting with Leslie nude in the chestal region. Twice.
- This line, from Ben's tour of April and Andy's house:
Ben: Were you frying marbles?!
- The painting itself. Topless Leslie is one thing, but cherub Tom...
Andy: Garbage fight!
- "The Fight"
- April and Andy role-playing.
- All of the drunk talking head scenes. All of them.
- When Ben and Leslie are giving interviews while hungover.
Ben: Thank you. We will let you know. (job candidate leaves) And then our heads will explode and we will all die.
- "The Bubble"
- Ron in the new circular desk Chris made him use slowly and silently swiveling around and away from the citizen complaining about how she got sick from using sprinkler water for tea.
- More of a sight gag when Ben impresses Leslie's ball-busting mom and both Knope women look at him while doing a choreographed head tilt of interest.
- April deciding that the Fourth Floor is amazing after someone randomly walks in and smashes the coffee pot for an ill-defined reason.
- "Li'l Sebastian"
- The phone message Ben accidentally sent to Ron of him and Leslie role-playing while having sex.
Leslie: And this is how Eleanor Roosevelt would kiss!
Ben: Whoa! Eleanor likes the tongue!
- And before that, Leslie's ranting attempt at a denying to Ron her relationship with Ben. Just as she's topping off her ramble with a shrieked, "Who do I call?", Ben swoops into the room all smiley.
Ben: (finally realizing Ron is in the room with them) Hey, Ron.
: Hello, Leslie. How long have you been sleeping with Ben? (pause) Leslie
: How long have you been sleeping with Ben? Leslie
: That's disgusting and wrong. I don't even get… Why would I… I've never had sex with anyone,
anywhere… It's none of your… You have… The nerve, the audacity… Ben is my boss technically and he is… Terrible, face-wise. And how… How… Do I know frankly that you are not sleeping with him.
Maybe you are, maybe you are trying to throw me off. Hmmmm, check and mate! This is an outrage! Who do I call?
- Ron's facial expression during that is the icing on the cake.
- Also Leslie and Ben's roleplay session that Ron accidentally hears when he is butt-dialed:
Leslie: Okay, okay, and this is how Eleanor Roosevelt would kiss.
Ben:Whoa, Eleanor likes the tongue. Show me Pelosi again.
Leslie: Please tell me you hung up before Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Leslie: Oh President Reagan, my blazer popped open.
Ben:Well, Maggie Thatcher, let me help you with that. Our countries have had a very special relationship.
- "Road Trip"