Fanfic: Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals
"Hm interesting i can use this broken hitrent as a boost for my tank witch Wil then make me abel to fly using rocket boosters so i can go to forrest and figt the vampers and live up to my organizaton name and UNLEESH HECK on the badguys of corse witch is why my last name is badguy aktualy it is not the reeson why but i do not rilly follow my family name i am aktualy a goodguy but for why im caled badguy is my family name; and i have bad past with my family who iis real badguy and gav me a badtime and showd he was badguy on me during the time i had in the past way back dering the past when i was kid but that aanother story taht I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT RIT NOW."Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals
-Alucard, chapter 1.
(Which is supposed to be Hecksing Ultimate Chronicles
; not Hellsing
) is the third entry the Stylistic Suck SBIG
series by Great Pikmin Fan
and the first one longer than a one-shot to be completed.note
Unlike its other installments, this one actually follows the story of the original canon of Hellsing at first
before slowly turning into an unusual adventure.
is a powerful vampire who kills other, evil vampires by the word of Integra Heck
. Then, one fatefull night during an attack of a forest, he ends up needing to do an Emergency Transformation
to Seras Victoria. Finding out that the vampire who caused this was a part of a former co-organization Heavensing
, Integra then sends Alucard and the newly vamperized Seras to "SERCH AND DESTROY TOES TRADERS." After a short battle, a spell that was keeping out all non-Hecksing or Heavensing vampires is broken with the death of Heavensing's leader... Ned Flanders
(yes, you read that right), who got himself killed after Alucard killed his lover Father Alexander Anderson and he tried to avenge him (yes, you read that
right too). With this spell broken, the mysterious Millennium are now free to wreek havok (or, rather, UNLEESH HECK [sic]) on the United Kingdoms of London
. For most of the following chapters, Hecksing has to foil the various plans of the Millennium.
Also involved is a martian rockster Parody Stu
, Carl, who's a blatant reference to Charlie Sheen
, the Major crossdressing as a part of a Show Within a Show
, a giant, mutant Homer Simpson, a giant, non-mutant David Hasselhoff
, and Rip Van Winkle becoming an overly sexualized Ms. Fanservice
A semi-sequel, Housestuck Hurrcain Crconikals
, was released on the anniversary of HUC's first chapter. It takes place in the same universe as HUC, and focuses on the Homestuck
characters, as well as elaborating a little more on the rest of the chapter 9 jury and the world in general. First through means of taking place in the same general timespan as the events of HUC, but as of the end of its fifth season, it's going to start going forewards past chapter 12. (13 being a Distant Finale
.) There is also a sort of Crossover
, Carl Stevens Universe
, where the members of Hecksing who survived in HUC (Carl, Seras, Rip, and the Captain
) get into a bit of a quarrel with the Crystal Gems.
Finally (for now; seeing how often this is expanded it could really go on for quite a while), the author announced a prequel fic called Hecksing: The Dawn
, set to bring more light to some of the members that didn't
survive by virtue of taking place in the past. (Alucard, Integra, Walter, and for the second half Kamina have been confirmed along with a re-appearance of Rip; Zorin appears to have no such luck until further notice and Pip seems to be jossed if the beginning is any indication
is more of a Monster of the Week
format and composed of six chapters, and can be found here
. Until it gets the need to be split off on its own page, tropes for the Dawn
will be listed here.
One year after ending Sweet Jade and Hella John
, Pikmin Fan started a massive edit of about half of the SBIG
installments. That has finished, and right now Fan plans to occasionally post the original versions of the chapters on the Fan Fiction Wiki. Its page there can be found here.
This fan fic provides examples of:
open/close all folders
General/Ulumate Crconikals — A to M
General/Ulumate Crconikals — N to Z
Hecksing: The Dawn
- Adaptational Villainy: The Flash, who for some reason (likely the fake-author's misconception) is an antagonist here working in line with Lex Luthor.
- An Arm and a Leg: It's revealed that Alucard actually lost an arm and eye after Bro blew up his cell phone. He slowly gets them back over the course of the story after being a vampire and using his regenerative powers.
- Anachronism Stew: The first chapter takes place from the beginning of World War I to the beginning of World War II, yet we have: a young Yumie playing Super Mario 64, Integra briefly being trapped in a 2015 Hummer, and references to a ton of crap that doesn't exist yet. See that quote under An Arm and a Leg? Vriska is an actual person in this story's universe, and she wasn't even born yet. To add insult to injury, Vriska's near-entire role is to invoke Demoted to Extra.
- Chekhov's Gun: Despite being a badfic as with its (chronologic) sequel, there are a ton of little details that should be payed attention to. Including:
- Alucard's peg-arm. It's hardly if ever mentioned in between him getting it and him launching it off to stab the Don.
- The fact that the Katana Club's panic room's beer was shaken up from said room falling down into the depths of a cave.
- A Call Back from the original: Walter's "see without eyes no jutsu" just seemed like an invoked Ass Pull so that he could worf Zorin, except here it's often used as a regular technique by at least Walter himself and Integra to see through illusions.
- Cowboy Bebop at His Computer: Invoked. The fake-author seems to think that Catwoman is part of the Superman franchise/in line in Lex Luthor, the Flash is a villain, and Mystique is part of DC comics at all.
- Deus ex Machina:
- In the end of chapter 2, Anderson jumps out of nowhere and saves Hecksing. Word of God admits that this was last-second planning.
- Near the end of chapter 4, a giant computer monster thing is rampaging Laos. But it's stopped by Rip simply beating the virtual reality game it's attatched to, which causes the entire thing to first pause. That was part of the programming. What isn't is the fact that it crashes shortly after due to being a buggy beta/demo, and falls over.
- Faux Action Girl:
- Blondula is the only one of the Flunk-outs who has not been seen fighting to some extent. All she does is try to distract Walter in a similar manner to Rip's "charms" in Ulumate proper, yet that doesn't work and she eventually gets killed by him shortly after Integra kills Quarterback. Then again, as she is stated to just be a dumb blonde stereotype, and dumb blondes are generally not well known to be actiony characters or especially villains most of the time, it was probably intentional.
- Catwoman, who gets water splashed on her by Kaitana, and because Cats Hate Water she is easily defeated. It's also never stated that the water is magic other than that Kaitana generated it, meaning that she can be defeated by splashing ordinary water on her.
- Full-Frontal Assault: Walter and Kenny in the final chapter. The Daughters all attempt this, but end up comming off as arousing to Kamina.
- Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: All six of its chapters is titled "the" and something that sounds vaguely similar to "Dawn" that's related to it. (Starting with a "D" and ending with an "M" or "N" sound.) We have "the Don," "the Dumb," "the Den," "the Demo Run," "the Duon," and "the Done."
- In Name Only: Far worse than the original Ulumate, as that started off following the plot of Hellsing pretty closely then took a sharp turn off the rails. This picks up from said derailment and plays along with what that derailing established, to the point where the narrator feels the need to remind the readers that this is still a Hellsing fan fic.
- Load-Bearing Boss:
- Justified in chapter 1. The pocket dimension made by the Don is kept stable thanks to his chakra molding it around. Once he dies, the orb its kept in falls into the river, and because of the water entering from the outside, the dimension is briefly flooded before it fades away.
- Averted in chapter 4. Lex Luthor's real motions control the demo run of the game, and he acts as the final boss. When he's killed while people are still playing, the game still works, just that when they get to the boss they notice he isn't there and the flag is right there for taking.
- Mr. Fanservice: Kamina, according to Cortana.
- Naked People Are Funny: The final chapter has every single member of Hecksing (save Alucard), Kamina's 360 teammates, and the 100 Daughters are all naked while they transverse the hot springs that were located by the base under a DMV.
- Not Distracted by the Sexy:
- In chapter 2, Blondula thinks she can distract Walter by flashing her boobs at him. He says it wouldn't work. She suggests flashing her crotch instead. He says it would work. He was lying about this though, and he ends up taking advantage of this to steal her pants and humiliate her when he later starts bonking her on the head.
- Kamina and Kaitana fight off the Daughters/Finishers in the buff, 100 supposedly attractive women. Kamina is likewise not destracted by having over three hundred nude teammates join on the mission.
- Perfectly Cromulent Word: Unlike Hecksing proper, this seems to make up words at times. Like "susperection" (a very unfortunate typo of "suspicion" that, for some reason, turned into "erection" partway through) in chapter 2.
- Pocket Dimension: The Don can make them. Or at least, one.
- Precision F-Strike: Alucard drops one when the 100 daughters all pull guns on Hecksing.
- Serial Escalation: Rip's outfit gets progressively more revealing as the story goes on, leading up to how it is in Ulumate. Why this does this but not Ulumate is explained at the very end in that she only flips up her fashion every decade.
- Title Drop: All title names have all been dropped. The first, third, and fifth are the name of the main villain or a major villain, whereas the second is the name of a machine used by the villains, but is also used to refer to Alucard himself, after getting hit by it. The fourth is one of the codenames of the game that Hecksing ends up playing. And finally, Integra mentions being "the Done" in the final chapter. Integra also says that the founding of Hecksing would be a new dawn.
- Took a Level in Badass: Either inverted or played straight with Alucard, whether you're counting this as going from his HUC self to his HTD self or chronologically from his HTD self to his HUC self. Either way, Alucard starts off incredibly incompetant, and the villains of the week do, in fact, manage to put him in dangerous situations not unlike your typical action show. Then again, the HRGs here are shown to be a lot more competant — since Hecksing usually goes up against the entire group, their actions seem like they're on par with the Titan Mecha in HUC, as the leader is quicker to be involved and they throw out their bigger projects a lot faster.
- Villain Ball:
- The Don could have very easily wiped out the entirety of Hecksing, as he's a borderline Reality Warper who can knock out all three of them and at least immobilize them. But then his stupid "elaborate deaths" and his idea of try to hook up Alucard and Walter with his 100 daughters blows it.
- Red Neckbreaker was the only Flunk-out who ever came across the idea to use the Dumb on Hecksing. And even then, he only uses a portable variant, and only on Alucard himself, who is already possibly the least intellegent (or at least the least well-focused) member.
- Villain Exit Stage Left: On the attack on the Katana Gang, Hecksing encounters Yumie, who freezes herself for a future HRG to unfreeze her later. (Or after 10,000 years past.) This unfreezing is implied to happen sometime around Ulumate' first twelve chapters, since she's faced off in said work's thirteenth chapter and Distant Finale.
- Villain of the Week: Unlike Ulumate, the villains are entire Hitler Revival Groups.
- The Don, leader of the Mafiamights.
- The Flunk-outs. Its leader is Red Neckbreaker, although Nuke is more like the real villain since Red dies first and he's the one who kind of outlasts them.
- The Sol. As with the Flunk-outs, the supposed leader Den gets killed first.
- Lex Luthor. Actually the Demos, who hijack the plot from Lex's team after all but one of them are dead.
- The Akatsuki, but then Duon/Blueon/Pinkon hijacks the plot from them
- After fakeouts with Kenny and seemingly leading to a naked fight with the Daugters, it's ultimately revealed to be Anderson.
- Villain Title: The first, third, and fifth chapters are named after one of the villains involved inside of them. The second and fourth are pretty much named after the weapons of said villains, or the effect in 2's case.
- Win to Exit: Non-game example: The Don makes "invisible" walls in his pocket dimension that prevent Hecksing from leaving. They have to kill him for him to free them from the dimension.
- You Keep Using That Word: "Invisible" walls. They're not invisible if you can see the blue chakra composing them.