Funny / Justice League

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    Justice League 
1x01/02/03 — Secret Origins
  • When the League first gets together and has to split up in groups of two to handle threats in different locations, Flash immediately grabs a bewildered Wonder Woman as his partner. Next shot:
    Flash: (to Green Lantern) You're no fun!

1x04/05 — In Blackest Night
  • Flash chooses to act as Green Lantern's lawyer, as the planet they're on "solved their lawyer problem a long time ago." He's then told that if Green Lantern is found guilty, his lawyer will be executed too.
    Flash: That's crazy!

1x06/07 — The Enemy Below

1x08/09 — Paradise Lost
  • Diana attempting to figure out how to explain her actions to her mother.
  • Our heroes investigate Felix Faust's home, where Flash accidentally sets off a death-beam scepter, and Batman chastises him for messing with the relics. Quick cut to Superman, Wonder Woman, and J'onn immediately putting some relics back.
  • Wonder Woman encounters her first shopping mall:
    Diana: It's like some kind of temple!
    Superman: Yes, for those who worship their credit cards.

1x10/11 — War World

1x12/13 — The Brave and the Bold
  • In the beginning, Flash is trying to hit on a couple of girls. After he quickly saves them from a truck that crashes into a diner and leaves to do some superheroing, one of the girls says this to the other:
    Girl: And you didn't want to give him our phone number.
  • Flash and Green Lantern are talking in front of a hot dog stand. GL admonishes Flash for wasting time. Flash's response?
    Flash: Relax, it's just a little snack. (draws out two heaping armfuls of hot dogs)
  • This:
    Flash: Let's see, after I caught the gorilla, he told me that...
    Green Lantern: He talked to you.
    Flash: Yeah, right after I stopped his car.
    Green Lantern: I'm supposed to believe this?
    Flash: Hey, we've both got a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here.
  • And this:
    Grodd: Heh. You're a bigger fool than I thought.
    (Realizing this wasn't a very good comeback, Flash shrugs at Solovar)
  • Green Lantern: "Flash, don't heckle the supervillain!"
  • A cop offers Flash coffee and asks how he takes it.
    Flash: With cream and thirty-seven sugars. (cops stare at him) Really.

1x14/15 — Legends
  • When Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Hawkgirl, and Flash get sucked into the world of an old comic book GL used to read, they're very much fish out of water, since it's a World of Ham. When Tom Turbine makes his entrance, for example, the look on Flash's face is priceless. He takes to it pretty quickly, though; during his fight with Dr. Blizzard, he's pretty much playing pun tennis with him.
  • In general, the episode poking fun at all the tropes of Silver Age comics is pretty hysterical.

1x16/17 — Injustice for All
  • Star Sapphire is blindsided when someone on the other side of the brawl flings an enormous statue of cartoon duck. Green Lantern attempts to alert her: "Duck!" (smack!) "...Tried to warn her."
  • Luthor's Twitchy Eye.
  • The episodes have The Joker in them. Of course they're a riot. From his entrance to his final line.
    Solomon Grundy: (to Luthor) You're crazy.
    Joker: (kicks the doors open from off-screen) AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?! It's done wonders for me!
  • Grundy and Humanite brawling, followed by Luthor remarking "You imbeciles are killing me faster than the Kryptonite!"
  • When Luthor is told that he basically has cancer because of the Kryponite he's always carried around in his pocket...he quickly blames Superman and throws a clipboard confirming his illness to him. The way Superman's looking at him just gives the emoticon of "-_______-".
  • When first in prison, Luthor yells at Humanite from his cell to lower the volume of his viewing of an opera. Humanite raises the volume, to which we see Luthor's annoyed face.
  • There's one part:
    Superman: (shoves Copperhead up against the wall) Copperhead...when are you gonna get some sense and tell me where Luthor is?
    Copperhead: Ooh. This must be the part where I get so scared, I spill my guts.
    Superman: I'm warning you...
    Copperhead: What're you gonna do, Boy Scout? Short my sheets? Give me a wedgie?
    (Later, as Copperhead is taken back to his cell)
    Superman: (frustrated) How does Batman do it?
    • To make it even better, it then cuts directly to a captured Batman seducing one of his captors.
  • And of course, the punchline to the whole affair, after Batman gets the Ultra-Humanite to turn on Luthor with a bribe:
    PBS: This program was made possible by a grant from the Ultra-Humanite and viewers like you.

Fury

A Knight of Shadows
  • Just as Morgan Le Fay is about to get her hands on the Philosophers Stone, the heroes ambush her.
    Flash: Ding! Fifth floor, sporting goods, hardware, evil sorceresses!

Metamorphosis

The Savage Time
  • At the end of part 3:
    Superman: Batman! It's really you! [bear hug]
    Batman: [deadpan] Am I missing something?

Twilight
  • Parts 1 and 2 feature some of the best Batman one-liners around. The producers even joke about this fact during the commentary because they were just on a roll with his character during those episodes. For instance, there's a moment where Bruce and Diana first see the city where the "gods" live and this happens:
    Batman: I'm gonna need a longer grapple.
    [Wonder Woman stares at him in shock]
    • Or when he and Wonder Woman have to leap into the Boom Tube to help Orion and Superman fight Darkseid:
    Batman: Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me real hard!
  • J'onn gets one of his own, while using a captured Braniac drone both as a robo shield and to shoot the others with its own hand blasts:
    Batman: "Having fun?"
    J'onn: "Yes."
  • There's something oddly funny about Superman charging at Brainiac (who's behind a force field), only to have the field bounce him back like a stretched rubber band when he is only a couple meters from reaching the villain. He lands next to Darkseid.
    Darkseid: Idiot.

Tabula Rasa
  • Amazo meets Mercy...and proceeds to hit on her. Apparently, he absorbed more than super-speed from the Flash.

Only a Dream
  • Batman storming a Starbucks to order coffee.
  • In an attempt to stay awake, he turns the radio on to some pop song and punches the Batmobile's already-cracked windshield out for some air. Could he have rolled the window down to save glass? Yes, but not BATMAN!
    • Even better, it might be a sing-song ad playing. "-hungry? Are you thirsty? Come to Jon's. Dine at Jon's."

Maid of Honor
  • Vandal Savage's casual reply when asked what he's doing in Pt. 2:
    Vandal Savage: [while counting off each with his fingers] Destroying the Justice League, building a rail gun, assuming total dominion over the Earth.
  • Batman charges Savage while brandishing a swivel chair and uttering "You're in my way." in his usual deadpan voice.
  • Batman fails to prevent Savage's Kill Sat from firing, but does manage to change its target. When Wonder Woman asks where, he gives her a Grin of Audacity and says "Right here."

Hearts and Minds
  • When Green Lantern is captured and brought before Despero:
    GL: Despero, I presume.
    Whole Crowd: DESPERO IS ALL!
    GL: With a backup group, no less.
  • When Despero reveals the flame of Pitar to GL:
    GL: You built a bonfire.
  • The Flash and Kilowog search GL's apartment for his power battery. Flash raids the fridge and offers Kilowog some of GL's ice cream. He eats it, cardboard tub and all. He also snacks on a VHS tape. Both delicacies get the same comment from him.
    Kilowog: Delicious!
  • GL's landlady, armed with a broom, beats the crap out of the Flash for trespassing. Kilowog continues searching the apartment, ignoring this.
    Flash: (To the landlady) We'll give you a call if we ever need a replacement for Hawkgirl!

A Better World
  • In the mostly dour episode:
    The Flash: Without me, your group fell apart. I was the conscience of the group!
    Green Lantern: [snapping] C'mon, Jiminy!
  • They sneak another one in in the Arkham Asylum scene. When the Justice League pass by Wesker and his doll Mr. Scarface, the doll is the one who's been lobotomized.
  • When Wonder Woman punches off the head of one of the Justice Lord Superman's robots, the head blurts out "Thanks!" as it sails through the air.

Eclipsed
  • Flash shows Green Lantern the van he bought with his energy-bar endorsement money:
    Green Lantern: Why do you need a van...wait, don't answer that, I don't wanna know.
The Terror Beyond
  • After Aquaman brings him to Fate's tower, Inza presents Solomon Grundy with some treats. He looks ready to eat, but actually hesitates out of politeness.
    Inza: It's okay. Take as many as you want.
    [Grundy starts pigging out]
    • Afterwards, Doctor Fate arrives:
      Doctor Fate: I am Doctor Fate.
      Grundy: [panicking, with his mouth full] Girl gave Grundy the cookies!!
    • Then, after some plot exposition:
      Grundy: Talk too much, Grundy bored!
  • Aquaman's words when he saves Grundy from the military, in light of who and what he's talking to.
    Aquaman: If you wish to live, come with me.
  • Icthultu notices Hawkgirl is Thanagarian (her people worshiped, then banished him) giving us this exchange:
    Icthultu: You have the stench of the Thanagarians upon you.
    Hawkgirl: Says the giant squid.
  • Continuing along the same lines:
    Icthultu: Speak to me, child of Thanagar.
    Hawkgirl: Nothing to say. I've got a gesture for you, but my hands are tied.
    Icthultu: How I've missed your people's spirit...

Secret Society
  • This episode has some epic Batman moments. In a scene where he confronts one of his old foes:
    Clayface: You didn't think I'd come here without reinforcements, did you?
    Batman: Wish I'd thought of that. [Justice League breaks through the wall] Oh, wait. [shit-eating grin] I did.
    • As well as this line:
      Clayface: [after his masquerade as the Flash is blown] What gave me away?
      Batman: You overplayed your part, "yo."
    • Superman defeating Grodd with a finger flick, and his Oh, Crap! face just before that.
  • A mook gives the Flash a Pretender Diss when the latter tries dangling him out the window to get him to talk. Unlike Batman, though, Flash actually drops him - but keeps pace by running down the side of the building and asking for details, rescuing the hapless thug at the bottom after he agrees to talk.

Hereafter
  • The main story in "Hereafter" is so grim that the villains get to be the Plucky Comic Relief.
  • From Lobo:
    Wonder Woman: [about to punch him in the face] You're no Superman!
    Lobo: The ladies say different.
    • Crosses over with Badass Boast:
      Kalibak: I'm going to grind you into paste!
      Lobo: Awful brave talk for a dead man.
      Kalibak: I'm not dead yet.
      Lobo: You're right. My watch is about ten seconds fast.
    • And then the boast is backed up.
      [not ten seconds later, but close enough]
      Lobo: Say it!
      [beat]
      Kalibak: ...Uncle.
      Lobo: I can't hear you!
      Hawkgirl: He's beaten. Put. The car. Down.
      Lobo: [tosses it over his shoulder and into a building] I was gonna.
  • After it's revealed that Superman was sent far into the future.
    Superman: How did you get here?
    Vandal Savage: The old-fashioned way. I'm immortal.
    • Savage has become a little...eccentric over thirty millennia.
    Superman: You're insane.
    Vandal Savage: True, but that doesn't mean I'm not good company. Say, you wanna come over to my house?
    Superman: [stares at him]
    Vandal Savage: Like you've got something better to do.
    • Just after, Savage reveals exactly how he destroyed the world and personally killed the League, there's a tense moment where it seems Superman will try (in vain) to kill him for what he's done. After he decides not to even bother, he asks Savage Now What? Savage's response is just gold:
      Vandal Savage: [suddenly cheerful] Lunch?
    • Later, as Superman is looking over his library while Savage cooks:
      Superman: Self-help books? You don't seem the type.
      Vandal Savage: I scrounge whatever I can find. Anyway, I've got issues - what with my destroying the Earth and all.
  • Diana's explanation as to why Batman refused to attend Superman's funeral is "He doesn't handle loss very well."
  • Wonder Woman blocks Weather Wizard's lightning with her metal bracers. The Flash's reaction?
    Flash: There are so many reasons why that shouldn't have worked.

Wild Cards
  • Given that the main villain is the Joker, nearly every moment with him on screen is hilarious.
  • We get the Joker as his own twisted version of a Shipper on Deck:
    Joker: Is it just me, or is there something going on between those two? Will Green Lantern ever admit to his feelings? Will Hawkgirl ever stop sublimating her passions with that big honkin' mace? Will True Love conquer all?
    [raises his detonator]
    Joker: Not on my show!
    • Also, the Vegas casinos are emptied...except for one old woman playing the slots;
      Joker: Ma'am? Ma'am? Aren't you worried?
      Old woman: About what? This thing's bound to pay off sooner or later.
      Joker: Man, I love this town!
      • That leads to a demented Brick Joke at the very end of the episode. "JACKPOT!"
    • Just the fact that Joker is doing a play-by-play commentary while the heroes are running all around Vegas. Everything about that is hilarious.
  • Joker's reaction to seeing Harley Quinn socking Batman in the jaw after she sees Joker being close to Ace.
    Joker [surprised]: Have to admit, didn't see that one coming...
  • Also in that episode:
    Joker: "There are twenty five bombs scattered throughout the city, and they're set to go off in..." [puts on glasses and takes an exaggerated look at the timer in the corner of the screen] "Oh dear! That's not a lot of time!"
    • Also, the line "While they stumble around, trying to find my bomb" just gets you. And when he puts the countdown clock in the corner, it's 22 minutes and changing, and Joker then quips, "What, were you expecting, a ROUND number?!"
  • Then at the end, Flash stops the last bomb, which is seconds away from exploding. The camera is on him, the clock strikes :01, and he and the bomb disappear. Cue a stunned Joker wondering what the hell just happened. Flash ran the bomb all the way out to the desert, with it exploding in his hands—frame-by-frame, too—in the span of one second
    • The Joker's subdued "Huh" after watching the replay of Flash running the last bomb into the desert while it's exploding.
  • The Royal Flash's intro, more specifically Queen's:
    Joker: Aaand *camera focused on the clover symbol on her crotch* Ooooh... *camera shifts to her face* ...Queen!
    • After the gang was forced to retreat:
    Joker: Oh, you're breaking an old man's heart, kids. Stand up to them like I would! If I were there...and I had superpowers and...oh, for pete's sake! Just go back there and beat on them!
  • There's even an origin story for the gang complete with a reality-tv style interview about them. Even funnier with the Casting Gag that Ten was Cyborg, King was Robin, Jack was Beastboy, Ace was Starfire, and Queen was Raven.
  • Joker's very Lame Pun on Batman getting warm in his search of the bomb while standing next to a volcano...and his camera crews' very nonplussed reaction.
    Camera crew: *Very forced laugh*
    Joker: ...That's enough, nobody likes a brown-nose.
  • Superman reminded King and Ten that if they win, the bomb goes off and they all die. Ten, Dumb Muscle that he was, wanted to continue fighting. King, however...
    King: O_O I'm out of here! *leaves*

Comfort and Joy
  • Superman releases his inner child. He still believes in Santa (which, admittedly, may be justified), wants to be the one to plug in the Christmas tree, and attempts to peek into his wrapped presents using X-ray vision, only to be foiled by Ma and Pa Kent wrapping them in lead foil. The juxtaposition with his normal, serious self is hilarious.
  • A little one when J'onn plays Santa for a little girl. He reaches down from the chimney for an Oreo cookie, followed by an "Mmm." Coming from The Spock of the outfit, it's funny.
  • The Flash catches the Ultra-Humanite blowing up random exhibits at the Museum of Modern Art with his energy rifle. The Ultra-Humanite explains that he's not robbing the place, he's just outraged at the poor quality of the exhibits.
    Flash: Ohhhhhhhhh-kay. Well, I'll just... take you to jail... where you won't have to look at the bad ol' art.

Starcrossed
  • Flash's lame attempt at trying to lighten the mood of their situation after being hunted by the Thanagarians.
    Flash: Who knows? Maybe they'll get tired and go home. (Beat as everyone stares at him) Yeah, I know, but a little optimism at a time like this couldn't hurt.
  • This moment in pt. 2.
    • Especially funny is that Flash's dumb smile doesn't go away after Alfred's sarcasm. He just seemed so genuinely proud of himself for figuring out what that dinosaur was.
  • And this bit, as Batman, Martian Manhunter, and Flash are checking out the Thanagarian craft.
    Batman: Well?
    J'onn: I have no idea how to fly this vehicle.
    Flash: What Does This Button Do? (presses it, blasts a hole in the side of Wayne Manor).

    Justice League Unlimited 

Initiation
  • Supergirl thinking Captain Atom is a killjoy.
    Supergirl: Why don't you get the stick out, Corporal?
    Captain Atom: (Beat) Captain.

  • Green Arrow questions Captain Atom.
    Green Arrow: Is that a containment suit?
    Captain Atom: Uh huh. I'm not flesh and blood anymore. Just living energy.
    Green Arrow: That wouldn't be nuclear energy, would it?
    Captain Atom: With a name like Captain Atom, what do you think?
    Green Arrow: I think you're what I marched against back in college.

For the Man Who Has Everything
  • Batman and Wonder Woman discussing what presents they're giving to Superman.
    Batman: What did you get him?
    Wonder Woman: I'm not saying anything. He'll hear and spoil the surprise.
    Batman: He can hear that too.
    Wonder Woman: How about you?
    Batman: He's not the easiest person to buy birthday presents for. (Pulls out envelope)
    Wonder Woman: Bruce, you didn't get him a gift certificate?
    Batman: No! Cash.

Kids' Stuff
  • Copperhead, poor poor Copperhead. He seemed so confident in "Injustice for All". When we see him later? Not so much.
    Copperhead: It was judgement day! And we got sent to the bad place! THE BAD PLACE!!!
    Cheetah: [smacks Copperhead across the face] Snap out of it, Copper.
    • Plus Green Lantern's response:
      Green Lantern: "We probably just got sent to another dimension."
      Copperhead: "Oh, is that all?!"
    • Meanwhile, Blockbuster is curled in a fetal position and sucking his thumb.
  • Morgaine laments that Mordred turned on her. "And after I spent millennia feeding him, bathing him, preparing him to be king." The look Superman and Green Lantern exchange is priceless.
  • Batboy's also got plenty of great moments.
    Batboy: [seeing the others fly off] It's not a race!
  • When Superboy tries to get some kids to quit horsing around, who defy him, saying he can't tell them what to do since he's a kid. His response?
    Superboy: (fires his heat vision at the ground before the rough housing kids) I'm the kid with lasers coming out his eyes! (The rough housing kids run in panic)
  • When Wondy needs to rally the kids:
    Wondy: THAT'S ENOUGH!!!
    Girl: You can't tell us what to do! You're not our mom!
    Wondy: No, but I promise you, we will find all your moms. And I'm gonna tell!
    Kid Lantern: [to Batboy] Man, your girlfriend sure is bossy.
    Batboy: Shut up!
  • Wondy crushing hard on Batboy. Superboy doesn't get it.
    Kid Lantern: Man, for someone with like fifty different kinds of vision, you are so blind!
  • After Wondy burps Baby!Etrigan:
    Wondy: That's all he needed!
    Kid Lantern: [sniffs] Aw man! That ain't all he needs!
    Batboy: Now that is a job for Superman!
  • This moment at the end, wherein every hero is turned back into an adult. Even Etrigan. In Wonder Woman's arms.
    Etrigan: Mommy!
    [Wonder Woman drops him]
    Etrigan: Ow!
    • If you really want a laugh, just imagine the adult versions of Green Lantern, Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman saying those really kid-ish lines.

Hawk and Dove

This Little Piggy
  • Circe trying to ham it up with a big villain rant. Zatanna isn't having any of it.
    Circe: Insolent trickster! You dare to strike... [hit with a chair] You dare to strike... [hit with a table] You dare to strike... [is covered with a tablecloth, yanks it off] QUIT IT! Oh no... [slammed by a piano]
  • Red Tornado's one line... "Suuuh-WEEEEEE!"
  • Pig!Diana having so many people chasing her, and happening to block a bullet with her bracelets. The man who shot at her just looks vaguely confused.
  • Batman's Darkest Secret. Batman really does make everything funnier!
  • Batman gives Wonder Woman the "It's Not You, It's My Enemies" speech about why they can't date and how his villains would attack her. Wonder Woman...crushes a stone gargoyle head to immediately render the entire point moot.
  • According to DVD commentary, The Joker was supposed to make a cameo in the episode. He and his minions would have been plotting something when Batman walks by cradling Pig!Wonder Woman in his arms and talking to her. The whole thing causes Joker to throw his arms up in defeat and walk out of there. It's hilarious to imagine.
  • This is the only episode Bwana Beast featured in, which is kind of sad when you consider some of the dialogue he gets.
    Bwana Beast [speaking to pigs]: C'mon, anybody seen her? Newcomer. Metal bracelets. Kinda stuck-up.
    • And then there's his introduction to Zatanna:
      Bwana Beast: Bwana Beast. How ya doing?
      Zatanna: My legs are just fine, thanks. As is the rest of me.
      Bwana Beast: Ooh, she's got the fire of the cheetah in her. (growls seductively)
      Zatanna: [to Batman, clearly uncomfortable] Why are you doing this to me?
  • An in-universe example is in the DVD commentary for this episode where the creators have a chuckle over the fact that Bruce is ten times nicer to Diana when she's a pig than when she's her normal self, especially during the scene when he meets with Zatanna and very sweetly pets Pig!Diana and rubs her back. That might be one part Diana would have liked to remember...
    • It's implied she did remember, which makes it a little funnier.

Fearful Symmetry
  • After the the Question reveals that he knows exactly what Supergirl eats late at night (here):
    Supergirl: How did yo- What, do you go through my trash?!
    The Question: Please. I go through everyone's trash.
  • Later, The Question breaking into a building while singing bubblegum pop out of tune.
    The Question: [approaching locked glass door] Fell in love again, what am I gonna tell my friends? It just happened, you walked in my door, now I don't want to be. Alone. No. More. [throws a potted plant through the glass] Oops. I've done it. Told you how I feeeel. Now I just have to hope, our love is reeeeal...

The Greatest Story Never Told
  • Most of Skeets' lines, but especially when Booster Gold starts ragging on himself and even Skeets' constant stream of encouraging sycophancy finally gives out: "I got nothin'."
    • Skeet's instructions on childbirth:
      Skeet: "According to my files, we first boil water, then tear up several sheets. Preferably ones we no longer intend to use for bedding..." (Booster shoves him aside).
  • The running people's reaction to the projected red traffic light.
  • Apparently Booster watched too much Star Trek:
    Booster Gold: Energize!
    Watchtower Tech: Doofus.
  • How some people mistake Booster Gold for Green Lantern, much to his annoyance.

The Return
  • On the run from a returning Amazo, Luthor is escorted by Supergirl and Steel to his secret lab, hidden inside... a barbershop.
    Steel: Gotta hand it to you, Luthor. Nobody would think to look for you here.
    • He then asks what's next after Luthor gets his nose hairs trimmed.

Ultimatum
  • Batman's are bigger than Amanda Waller's. Made more hilarious by Batman's dickish grin while he says it.

Dark Heart
  • As Batman is falling from his plane, completely deadpan.
    "Batman to all points. I could use some air support. Since I can't fly. At all."
    [just seconds before he hits the ground]
    "Now would be good."

Wake the Dead

The Once and Future Thing
  • John insinuates there might be romance between Bruce and Diana. Bruce shoots it down.
    Batman: Diana is a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend. She's...standing Right Behind Me, isn't she?
    Wonder Woman: But don't let that stop you. Keep digging."
    • The bit of dialogue leading up to this was funny in its own right when you realize that not only is Batman making small talk willingly, he's teasing Green Lantern about his love life.
  • Warhawk, seeing Green Lantern at the end of Part I: "Dad?"
  • Static trolling John over his relationship with Shayera.
    Static: Shayera was one cranky pregnant lady. Although, to be fair, if I had laid an egg that size...
  • Hal Jordan is in less than half of one episode, but still manages to get a moment in:
    John Stewart: Enid Clinton, we've got—
    [The past is altered mid-sentence, resulting in Hal Jordan being the Green Lantern]
    Hal Jordan: —business with your husband. [to everyone else] What? Hal Jordan. Another time shift. I'm up to speed. Carry on.
    Terry: O-kay, I'm starting to get a migraine.
    • And then when Hal Jordan changed back to John Stewart:
      Static: Make up your mind!
  • There's also a bit between Batman and Old Man Bruce where present-day Bats decides to go out and find information the more direct way.
    Terry: It's not going to work, you don't know your way around here. A lot of things have changed.
    Batman: Are criminals still superstitious and cowardly?
    Old Bruce: Yup.
    Batman: Good enough for me.
    • There's also when Batman meets his older self.
      Terry: Batman, Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne, Batman. Or have you met?
      Both Bruce Waynes: Not now!
      Terry: Great. What did they used to call it? Stereo?
  • During Ghoul's interrogation. One has to wonder what exactly Old Bruce did to scare him into talking so badly, worse than being threatened to get dropped off a skyscraper by Batman. In fact, Batman was tasked playing good cop with his future self's bad cop.
  • There's an absolutely golden moment where Chronos, having discovered that Chucko was selling information to Batman, drops him back in the age of the dinosaurs. Chucko merely scoffs and declares he can easily defeat the dinosaurs with his weapons. Cue meteor bursting through the clouds.
    Chucko: Aw, phooey.
    • Then, when Chronos returns to the present:
      Chronos: Do you know what killed the dinosaurs? Well, Chucko does!
  • Chronos' wife Enid tries to talks some sense into him.
    Enid: Don't blame this on me. I just wanted you to assert yourself, not destroy the universe!
  • Batman defeats Chronos by making sure he never becomes a supervillain in the first place. He sabotaged his time machine so that he's stuck on an endless "Groundhog Day" Loop of arguing with his wife, forever.

The Cat and the Canary
  • Wildcat is having trouble with some common thugs, and one of them is watching a fight on his laptop after Wildcat was beaten. The commentary from the laptop fits Black Canary appearing and beating up the thugs quite well. Also counts as a CMoA.

The Ties That Bind
  • Flash and the Elongated Man are deep in discussion and bent over what looks like a chessboard, discussing how neither of them is taken seriously by the rest of the League... only for the camera to pan out and reveal that they're actually playing Brawlin Bots.
    Flash: Haha, I bopped your block off!
    EM: That's not fair, the green guy's arms are longer!
    Flash: Are not!
  • The scene where Flash first convinces Barda and Mr. Miracle to let him help them. It's especially adorable how he punctuates it all with "Friends?"
    • Giving Barda the flower was the icing on top.
  • "Robots! I love smashing robots!"
  • Baron Vunderbar produces a good one after he has tried 'every device' to make Kalibak his obedient servant.
    Baron Vunderbar: Every device except...cake!
    • Kalibak actually looks tempted for a moment.
    • The fact that Vunderbar is Arte Johnson reprising his German soldier character from Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In- he even says "Verrry interesting- but stupid."
  • Flash and J'onn pick their players for a game of "Brawlin' Bots":
    Flash: Dibs on the green one!

The Doomsday Sanction
  • There's a meeting between the Founding Seven discussing Cadmus. Batman mentions that he assigned The Question to gathering information on the organization. This elicits a Collective Groan from the rest.
    Flash: Not that nutjob!

Task Force X
  • Colonel Flagg pop-quizzing Plastique on their mission:
    Rick Flagg: OK, Plastique. You're setting the charge, and Superman walks in the room...
    Plastique: (understandably startled) You said he wouldn't be there!
    Rick Flagg: Last minute change in the duty roster. Superman's got the drop on you. What do you do?
    Plastique: ...Before or after I change my shorts?
  • After Flagg's team has gotten through Watchtower security.
    Deadshot: I thought he was gonna wet himself when you mentioned the Martian. He couldn't let us through fast enough.
    Plastique: That was nothin'. I almost lost it when this bonehead set off the metal detector.
    Captain Boomerang: 75 cents is 75 cents. I'm supposed to throw away money?
    • And, of course, there's Deadshot trolling Plastique by asking Green Lantern if he could get Hawkgirl's autograph for him.

The Balance
  • Flash is not a very smooth operator.
    Flash: (all League members stare at him after the disastrous meeting between him, Wonder Woman, and Shayera) I had dinner with two women at the same time! Cuz I'm a stud! (accidentally smooshes his hand into his mashed potatoes. He dejectedly sits back down and licks it off his hand)
  • Hermes is the Messenger of the Gods, you'd think he'd be experienced enough not to screw up which scroll he gives to who.
    Wonder Woman: (reading from scroll) "For a good time, call Podenemus"?
    Hermes: Wrong scroll. I think I got a shot, it's her cell number.
    • Just before that, Hermes remarks that the message must be pretty important: "Zeus paid for overnight service."
    • When Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl are in Hades, some demons see Hawkgirl's wings, and are instantly hesitant to fight her. She plays this for all it's worth, claiming to be an angel, and scaring the demons away.
    Hawkgirl: With any luck, they'll all be that dumb.

Double Date
  • At the beginning, you have two mooks waiting outside their boss's mansion, and this bit of dialogue comes up:
    Cecil: But how come when I make the scones, they don't got that good flavor like yours, Tony?
    Tony: (smacks Cecil's head) Do I have to tell you again how you gotta add the orange zest, Cecil? You gonna make me give you the recipe again, huh? You're killing me here, Cecil! Killing me!
  • When Black Canary and Green Arrow are riding on a motorcycle over a train track:
    Green Arrow: Are we dead yet?
    Black Canary: No.
    Green Arrow: (voice getting shakier) Are we dead yet?
    Black Canary: Look, if we die, I promise I'll let you know!
    • Also, this gem:
      Huntress: Train.
      Question: I see it.
      Huntress: Train!
      Question: I see it!
    • Black Canary's reaction when it's her turn is but one word: "Whoops."
    • The whole chase is a joint CMOF/A, but the ending seals it.
      Green Arrow: *Following the above 'whoops'* J'onn, get us out of here! NOW!
      [J'onn zetas them off the bike just before impact. Bike is obliterated. As they come out of zeta, momentum dumps them in the bay]
      Black Canary: I can't believe you! I rebuilt that bike by hand!
      Arrow: You're right. I'm sorry for saving our lives. [Canary swims off in a huff] And J'onn says Huntress is the unstable one.
  • Huntress and Question's first meeting. Naturally, they're not exactly...polite:
    Huntress: You're the League's data guy, the conspiracy buff, right? Wildcat says you're a nutjob.
    Question: Funny, he says the same thing about you.
    Huntress: He's right.
    Question: OK, bored now, goodbye. *waves a hand without even looking up from his computer*

Clash
  • This one is good not only for the awesome fight scenes, but a couple of hilarious moments from Mr. Comically Serious himself, Batman:
    Batman: You were a little hard on the Boy Scout, don't you think?
    Superman: I thought I was the Boy Scout.
    Batman: I did too, 'til I met Captain Marvel.
    Superman: Why are you—why is everyone defending him?
    Batman: We like him. He's...sunny.
    • As well as this:
      Batman: What did these guys want anyway?
      Superman: To take over the world. Or rob banks. I forget.

Hunter's Moon
  • Vigilante is ripe with Funny Moments (which should come as no surprise, considering who voices him), but one of his funniest moments is when he nabs the Thanagarians' ship in an attempt to rescue Vixen and Shayera.
    Vigilante: Consarned, dang-blasted, horse-thievin', alien control panel which can't nobody work proper! [flies beneath Vixen, who is free-falling] I'M COMIN', DARLIN'! YEEEEEEE-HAW!
  • A little while later, while Vixen and Paran Dul's fight in the back of the ship makes things a bit rocky:
    Vigilante: Y'both mind!? Student driver up here!

Question Authority
  • During an Electric Torture sequence in the episode 'Question Authority', The Question resists interrogation by only revealing random useless facts, such as the name for those little plastic caps at the end of a shoelace. He then added on "Their true purpose is sinister." This being Question, he might have been serious.
  • Question's capture, specifically how Luthor managed to outwit him. The Question thinks Luthor running for president will eventually lead to the end of the world as shown in the Justice Lords alternate universe. The Question's solution is killing Luthor before Superman can. The reason this doesn't work? The Question didn't count on how petty Luthor can be.
    Luthor: That's right, conspiracy buff. I spent 75 million dollars on a fake presidential campaign, all just to tick Superman off.
  • Also, when Supes is busy holding up the teleportation platform for repairs he comments "I could do this all day- not that I want to." The Question approaches- "Something I can help you with?" "I assume you don't want to talk about your 'White House weenie roast' in front of a crowd?" Supes promptly drops the platform.

Flashpoint

Panic in the Sky
  • Batman tries to destroy Lex's robot with an exploding batarang. Lex catches it in midair, and deadpans "That... was uncalled for." And then hits him with a tool bench.
  • Lex asks a defeated Amanda Waller if she really thought she could beat him all by herself.
    Waller: Actually, yeah. But on the off chance I was wrong…
    (Cue the Big Seven showing up behind Luthor)
    Flash: Ta-daa!
  • When Batman confronts Luthor at LexCorp, and Luthor monologues about his Evil Plan to ascend into godhood and murder Superman and the League. Batman probably gave the best response to any supervillain scheme ever:
    Batman: Sorry. Maybe next time.
    (Throws the batarang at the android)
  • Another one is that after the remaining League in the Watchtower defeat the Ultimen clones, the power reboots back on and the lights return to the station, prompting cheers ("Yay!"). A second later, the power cuts out again, with widespread groans ("Aww!")
  • When Lex Luthor takes control of the JL's satellite and fires its main gun at the Earth, the founding Leaguers agree to turn themselves in to the US government as a show of faith. Batman, however, decides to follow a separate lead.
    Soldier: Where's Batman?
    Flash: Running late. The Batmobile, it lost a wheel. The Joker got away. [Beat] That's what I heard.

Divided We Fall
  • The Flash butts in on Luthor and Brainiac's conversation.
    Flash: I hate to interrupt this special live performance of The Thing with Two Heads, but it's time to go to jail.
    Waller: What he said.
  • Hawkgirl, after a fair bit of expository dialogue between Lexiac and Superman: "Less talking, more hitting!"

Epilogue
  • "Getting [Bruce Wayne's] DNA was easy. He left it all over town...Not remotely what I meant."
    • The cut to the expression on Terry's face is what really sells it. One little Fascinating Eyebrow says so much.
  • Hearing Bruce scolding Terry about being out late like some nagging grandparent, delivered in his typical deadpan.
    Bruce: Where the devil have you been? [...]You could've called. I made you some soup, but it's cold.

I Am Legion

Shadow of the Hawk

Chaos at the Earth's Core
  • The opening, set in Japan where Supergirl is beating up a giant mutant turtle, has Stargirl grumbling about the other heroine "stealing her thunder" and getting her shin kicked by a fangirl. Stargirl tries to score some points by pointing out that her stepdad, Stripe, drives a mecha, but the fangirl just scoffs: "Mecha so last year."
  • The interaction between Stargirl and Warlord as they both look over the ragtag group that's gathered to fight the local tyrant.
    Stargirl: Geez, you call that an army?
    Warlord: Most of these folks have lost everything to Deimos. So, you know, feel free to dump on them.

To Another Shore

Flash and Substance
  • The episode is terrific; not only does it feature the aforementioned Flash and Batman, but also Orion, who's an even bigger case of The Comically Serious than Batman (which is saying something). And the scene where Flash interrogates the Trickster was probably the funniest thing ever on the show. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, too.
    Flash: James, you're off your meds, aren't you?
    Trickster: Better off without 'em. Take 'em if I start feeling down.
    Flash: You know that's not how the medicine works. You're not well!
    Trickster: I'm fine! ...You wanna throw some darts?
    Flash: No, listen, James, you're wearing the suit again.
    Trickster: I am? [looks down at costume] Well, what do you know?
    Flash: Here's the deal, buddy. Tell me where those guys went, and I'll come see you in the hospital. We'll play darts! The soft kind.
    Trickster: [smiles widely] Okay, they're gonna ambush you at the Flash Museum.
    Flash: See? That's all we needed! [to Batman and Orion] Come on, we better get over there.
    Orion: What about your enemy?
    Flash: Oh, right. Dude, as soon as you finish your drink, turn yourself in.
    Trickster: [raises mug] Got me again, Flash!
    • The Trickster is made of CMOF. Like his conversation with the other three Flash Rogues in that episode.
      Mirror Master: Here we are, the hardest men in town, and we all have something in common.
      Trickster: Bilateral symmetry?
    • The continuation of the conversation:
      Waitress: What'll it be, boys?
      Captain Boomerang: Arnold Palmernote .
      Trickster: Cherry Cola.
      Mirror Master: Decaf soy latte.
      Captain Cold: Milk.
      (Others stare at him]
      Captain Cold: [sheepishly] My ulcer's been acting up.
      • And he says "Milk" like he's hoping if he sounds gruff enough, nobody will notice.
    • Mirror Master: Boomer, must you always plead poverty?
  • The following one-sided conversation between Batman and Orion:
    Orion: I can't believe you let that buffoon manipulate you. You'd never see me at one of these museum openings.
    [Batman gives him a "you just volunteered" stare]
    Orion: ...It's not black tie, is it?
  • Flash's Insult Backfire:
    Flash: Mirror Master!
    Mirror Master: You're as quick as ever!
    Flash: Yeah? Well, you're... You're not really all there!
    Mirror Master: Oooh! Nice try! If you had another minute, you'd probably think of a decent comeback!
  • This dialogue:
    Linda Park: When we come back, I'll try to get with him...Get to him...For an interview...Are we off? Geez. He's a total babe. Like the entire track team at once. I can't believe you're not into him, Marla.
    Marla: Okay... Now you're off. [Linda slaps a paper on her face in embarrassment]
  • The Flash, stuck on a flying, giant, spinning boomerang, to Captain Boomerang, who was watching him on it: "I swear, when I get out of this, I'm gonna find you and hurl all over you!"
  • After both Mirror Master and Captain Boomerang's attempts to kill the Flash fail, the Trickster tells them his overelaborate plan ("Nothing as stupid as a giant boomerang."), all the while Boomer and Mirror master are clearly inconvenienced by the idea of listening to him. Then Captain Cold has a better idea.
    Captain Cold: You know what? Taking turns is dumb. Let's just all jump him at the museum.
  • Trickster's plan is itself very funny simply because of how undignified the Flash's death would have been.
    Trickster: Firstly, I get four hundred cases of fake dog vomit, I grease the bottoms of them, and when The Flash runs into the them, the whole mess slides into a wall of metal spikes! The cases break open, and what’s left of The Flash is buried alive in phony barf. And then (cackles) everything explodes!
    • When the Rogues just ignore him and head off to ambush Flash at the museum, the Trickster tries again.
      Trickster: Okay, you don't like the barf? I can make do with fifty thousand rotten eggs and a chainsaw.
  • Orion punching the head off of a cardboard Flash.
  • Mirror Master trapped in a shattered mirror and babbling at the CSI guy sweeping the pieces into a bag:
    Mirror Master: "Are you sure that's all the pieces? I demand a full accounting! Where's my lawyer!? I know my rights, you obscene caricature of a civil servant...!"

Dead Reckoning
  • Deadman possesses Superman mid-sentence as he talks about a fast food restaurant in Metropolis he likes, resulting in:
    Superman: "And the milkshakes are so thick—" [possessed] "—I need your help."
    Wonder Woman: "That's pretty thick."
  • Later in the episode, Gorilla Grodd reveals his secret evil plan:
    Grodd: "I will turn every man, woman, and child on Earth... INTO AN APE!"
    (Grodd's allies and enemies are all turned into gorillas)

Patriot Act
  • Several of the non-superpowered League members are fighting a supersoldier (the mutated Gen. Wade Eiling) that keeps demanding that Superman come to fight him. Green Arrow, who has been requesting backup from the Watchtower throughout the whole fight, receives word that reinforcements are on the way. This leads to the following:
    Green Arrow: [to Eiling] Well you wanted Superman? Now you got- [two people teleport in] ...the Crimson Avenger and my ex-sidekick.
    Speedy: [having just teleported in] Ex-partner!
    Green Arrow: Speedy, we gotta do this now?
  • After Eiling effortlessly swats the Avenger and starts advancing:
    Eiling: You spoiled, rich little twerp!
    Green Arrow: [while pelting him with arrows, including one stolen from Speedy's quiver] I think he means me.
    Speedy: [likewise, deadpan] Oh. For a second, I was all mad.

The Great Brain Robbery
  • The page quote for Most Definitely Not a Villain:
    Flash (in Luthor's body): My fellow bad guys. I, Lex Luthor, your leader, will speak now about my, Lex Luthor's, plan. My villainous, villainous plan. Question the plan at your peril! Uh... any questions?
  • At the beginning of the episode, Sinestro expresses concerns about Luthor's leadership:
    Sinestro: After Grodd tried to turn the world into apes, you can imagine how seriously we take something like that. What are you going to do, make everybody bald?
  • Bizarro had one:
    Bizarro: Ever since you plug into monkey's head, you act perfectly sane and rational. Am you Bizarro mommy?
  • "Watch your step, my evil minion. You presume too much! One of these days, you'll go too far."
  • The episode cements the Superfriends-ish flavor that the final season had for most of its duration, though in a much better way than Hanna-Barbera used to do. The icing on the cake has to go to Luthor, as the Flash, inadvertently discovering Green Lantern's weakness. It must be seen to be believed.
  • Just after beating up Green Lantern and Doctor Fate in the cafeteria, Luthor-as-Flash runs off...then immediately nips back to shovel some food into his mouth.
  • 'Lex Luthor' is so evil, he doesn't even wash his hands. Made even more hilarious by Dr. Polaris' reaction, as though he's shocked by how evil that is.
    Polaris: Are you gonna wash your hands?
    "Lex": NO... 'cause I'm evil.
  • And this:
    Tala: Come rest in here, darling.
    (Tala drags 'Lex' into a room)
    "Lex": Hey! That's not restful.
  • Flash-as-Luthor's reaction to Talia:
    Talia: "Dr. Polaris is this close to open revolt. I want to punish him, baby. So...very...badly..."
    '"Lex": "Uh...sure. One question: do I know you?"
  • Meanwhile, Lex is having his own difficulties in his borrowed body:
    "The Flash": If nothing else, I can at least learn the Flash's secret identity. (takes off the Flash's mask) ...I have no idea who this is.
  • "Just be careful with my head. It's where I keep all my one-liners."
  • When Green Lantern and Dr. Fate are trying to make sure Flash is the real Flash.
    Green Lantern: Sounds like Wally, but is there any way to be sure?
    Flash: You want proof? Until he went off into the marines, GL's nickname was-
    Green Lantern: STOP! It's him.

Grudge Match
  • The Question's obsessive, maniacal search for The Truth continues.
    Question [perusing Baskin-Robbins' secret files]: "Aha! As I suspected: thirty-two flavors!"

Far From Home
  • Supergirl and her future boyfriend are introduced to each other.
    Brainiac 5: I'm sure this must be disorienting for you. My name is...
    Supergirl: Brainiac!
    Brainiac 5: Yes. How did you...Uh-oh.
    [She tries to clobber him]
    • Later, Superman asks Green Lantern and Green Arrow: "Now, this boy Kara likes so much...does he have a name?" Cue awkward looks on Green Lantern and Green Arrow's faces.

Ancient History

Alive!
  • Luthor is commanding the Legion of Doom to build another device. We get this gem:
    Lex: Sinestro, don't forget the floor, I want radiation shielding from every direction. Rampage... [Loud shaking noise, cut to Bizarro trying to put a square box into a round plug] ...help Bizarro.
    • It helps that his tone of voice goes right from "Commanding" to "Surrounded by Idiots".
    • Additional humor comes from the visual pun. Bizarro was literally trying to beat a square peg into a round hole.

Destroyer
  • Toyman gets surrounded by Parademons. He shoots at them with Nerf gun darts, and as the shots harmlessly bounce off, the Parademons stare in confusion... until they all explode.
  • Wonder Woman is fighting parademons at the Great Wall of China when a man standing on the wall volunteers to help. Wonder Woman tries to warn him off for his own protection, only to watch him take out two parademons with two solid haymakers. Wonder Woman can only issue a stunned utterance:
    Wonder Woman: Hera...
    • Of course, it then turns out that the volunteer was J'onn.
  • One of the final lines of all JLU, when Flash overhears Martian Manhunter on the phone:
    J'onn: I should be back in time for dinner. I love you too.
    Flash: These are the end times...
  • At the very end of it all, the Legion of Doom had just assisted the Justice League to defeat the forces of Apokalips. When the Legion learn they're about to be arrested, Atomic Skull insists they should be compensated for helping them. Batman reluctantly agrees...
    Batman: Five minute head start.
    Atomic Skull: Five minutes? Are you kidding?
    Wonder Woman: Four minutes, fifty seconds.
    [The Legion starts running, though Giganta steals a kiss from Flash before leaving. As the League prepares to pursue, Bats and Supes have a final Odd Couple moment.]
    Superman: A head start? You're getting soft in your old age.
    Batman: Don't you have a tall building to go leap?
    Wonder Woman: And so, the adventure continues...
    [Final Curtain Call to end the series.]

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