Funny / Justice League

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    Justice League 

  • In the mostly dour "A Better World":
    The Flash: Without me, your group fell apart. I was the conscience of the group!
    Green Lantern: (snapping) C'mon, Jiminy!
    • They sneak another one in in the Arkham Asylum scene. When the Justice League pass by Wesker and his doll Mr. Scarface, the doll's the one who's been lobotomized.
    • When Wonder Woman punches off the head of one of the Justice Lord Superman's robots, the head blurts out "Thanks!" as it sails through the air.
  • In "Injustice for All":
    • "Duck!.... Tried to warn her."
    • "This program was made possible by a grant from the Ultra-Humanite and viewers like you."
    • Luthor's Twitchy Eye.
    • The episodes have The Joker in them. Of course they're a riot. From his entrance to his final line.
    Solomon Grundy (to Lex Luthor): You're crazy.
    Joker: (kicks the doors open from off screen) AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?! It's done wonders for me!
    • After Batman punches him and before passing out he says with a familiar lisp:
    • Grundy and Humanite brawling, followed by Luthor remarking "You imbeciles are killing me faster than the Kryptonite!"
    • When Lex is told he basically has cancer because of the kryponite he's always carried...he quickly blames Superman and throws a clipboard confirming his illness to him. The way Superman's looking at him just gives the emoticon of "-_______-".
    • When first in prison, Lex yells at Humanite from his cell to lower the volume of his viewing of an opera. Humanite raises the volume, to which we see Luthor's annoyed face.
  • In "Paradise Lost", our heroes investigate Felix Faust's home, where Flash accidentally sets off a death-beam scepter, and Batman chastises him for messing with the relics. Quick cut to Superman, Wonder Woman, and J'onn immediately putting some relics back.
    • Diana attempting to figure out how to explain her actions to her mother. "Gone? I wasn't gone. I was in my room. Alone... For eight months."
  • The main story in "Hereafter" is so grim that the villains get to be the Plucky Comic Relief.
    • From Lobo:
      Wonder Woman: (About to punch him in the face) You're no Superman!
      Lobo: The ladies say different.

      Kalibak: I'm going to grind you into paste!
      Lobo: Awful brave talk for a dead man.
      Kalibak: I'm not dead yet.
      Lobo: You're right. My watch is about ten seconds fast.

      [not ten seconds later, but close enough]
      Lobo: Say it!
      Kalibak: ...Uncle.
      Lobo: I can't hear you!
      Hawkgirl: He's beaten. Put. The car. Down.
      Lobo: (tosses it over his shoulder and into a building) I was gonna.
    • And from Vandal Savage:
      Superman: You're insane.
      Vandal Savage: True, but that doesn't mean I'm not good company. Say, you wanna come over to my house?
      Superman: [stares at him]
      Vandal Savage: Like you've got something better to do.
    • Just after, Savage reveals exactly how he destroyed the world and personally killed the League, there's a tense moment where it seems Superman will try (in vain) to kill him for what he's done. After he decides not to even bother, he asks Savage Now What? Savage's response is just gold:
      Vandal Savage: (suddenly cheerful) Lunch?
    • Later, as Superman is looking over his library while Savage cooks:
      Superman: Self help books? You don't seem the type.
      Vandal Savage: I scrounge whatever I can find. Anyway, I've got issues - what with my destroying the Earth and all.
    • Wonder Woman's explanation as to why Batman refused to attend Superman's funeral is "He doesn't handle loss very well."
    • After it's revealed that Superman was sent far into the future
    Superman: How did you get here?\\
Vandal Savage: The old-fashioned way. I'm immortal.
  • In "The Brave and the Bold", Flash and Green Lantern are talking in front of a hot dog stand. GL admonishes Flash for wasting time. Flash's response?
    "Relax, it's just a little snack." [draws out two heaping armfuls of hot dogs].
    • This:
    Flash: Let's see, after I caught the gorilla, he told me that...
    Green Lantern: He talked to you.
    Flash: Yeah, right after I stopped his car.
    Green Lantern: I'm supposed to believe this?
    Flash: Hey, we've both got a Martian's phone-number on our speed-dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here.
    • And this:
    Grodd: Heh. You're a bigger fool than I thought.
    (shrugs at Solovar)
    • John: "Flash, don't heckle the supervillain!"
    • A cop offers Flash coffee and asks how he takes it.
    Flash: With cream and 37 sugars. [cops stare at him] Really.
  • In "Legends", when Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Hawkgirl, and the Flash gets sucked into the world of an old comic book GL used to read, they're very much fish out of water, since it's a World of Ham. When Tom Turbine makes his entrance, for example, the look on the Flash's face is priceless. He takes to it pretty quickly, though: during his fight with Dr. Blizzard, he's pretty much playing pun tennis with him.
  • Vandal Savage's casual reply when asked what he's doing in "Maid of Honor" Pt. 2:
    Vandal Savage: [while counting off each with his fingers] Destroying the Justice League, building a rail gun, assuming total dominion over the Earth.
    • Batman charges Savage while brandishing a swivel chair and uttering "You're in my way." in his usual deadpan voice.
    • Batman fails to prevent Savage's Kill Sat from firing, but does manage to change its target. When Wonder Woman asks where, he gives her a Grin of Audacity and says "Right here."
  • At the end of "The Savage Time" part 3:
    Superman: Batman! It's really you! [bear hug]
    Batman: [deadpan] Am I missing something?
  • "Twilight" Parts 1 and 2 feature some of the best Batman one-liners around. The producers even joke about this fact during the commentary because they were just on a roll with his character during those episodes. For instance, there's a moment where Bruce and Diana first see the city where the "gods" live and this happens:
    Batman: I'm gonna need a longer grapple.
    [Wonder Woman stares at him in shock]
    • Or when he and Wonder Woman have to leap into the Boom Tube to help Orion and Superman fight Darkseid:
    Batman: Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me real hard!
  • J'onn gets one of his own, while using a captured Braniac drone both as a robo shield and to shoot the others with its own hand blasts:
    Batman: "Having fun?"
    J'onn: "Yes."
  • "The Secret Society" also has some epic Batman moments, in a scene where he confronts one of his old foes:
    Clayface: You didn't think I'd come here without reinforcements, did you?
    Batman: Wish I'd thought of that. [Justice League breaks through the wall] Oh, wait, I did.
    • As well as this line:
      Clayface: [after his masquerade as the Flash is blown] What gave me away?
      Batman: You overplayed your part, "yo."
    • And just before that, Batman calmly tazes "the Flash" and explains, "The real Flash would have been too fast for that." He's one step ahead of Hagen the whole time.
  • "The Enemy Below" featured one of the best off-screen Batman intimidations ever:
    Deadshot: (looks Wonder Woman up and down) ...Unless, of course, you can make it worth my while.
    Batman: [grabs him] I'll take it from here. [drags Deadshot away]
    Deadshot: You can't scare me, Batman.
    Batman: Let me give you one piece of advice... [says something to him as the camera pulls away]
    Deadshot: [in a panic] Ok! Ok! I'll tell!
    Wonder Woman: What did he say?
    Superman: You don't wanna know...
  • Deadshot is actually pretty funny as well.
    Superman: You tried to kill Aquaman. Why?
    Deadshot: Gee, now why would a hired gun try to kill someone? Could it be that... someone paid me to do it?
  • Pretty much all of "Injustice for All", but there's one part:
    Superman: [jacks Copperhead up against the wall] Copperhead... When are you gonna get some sense and tell me where Luthor is?
    Copperhead: Ooh. This must be the part where I get so scared, I spill my guts.
    Superman: I'm warning you...
    Copperhead: What're you gonna do, Boy Scout? Short my sheets? Give me a wedgie?
    [later, as Copperhead is taken back to his cell]
    Superman: [frustrated] How does Batman do it?
    • To make it even better, it then cuts directly to a captured Batman seducing one of his captors.
    • And of course, the punchline to the whole affair:
      PBS: This program was made possible by a grant from the Ultra-Humanite and viewers like you.
  • Batman storming a Starbucks to order coffee. ("Only a Dream").
    • In an attempt to stay awake, he turns the radio on to some pop song and punches the Batmobile's already-cracked windshield out for some air. Could he have rolled the window down to save glass? Yes, but not BATMAN!
    • Even better, it might be a sing-song ad playing. "-hungry? Are you thirsty? Come to Jon's. Dine at Jon's."
  • "Wild Cards", where we get the Joker as his own twisted version of a Shipper on Deck:
    Joker: Is it just me, or is there something going on between those two? Will Green Lantern ever admit to his feelings? Will Hawkgirl ever stop sublimating her passions with that big honkin' mace? Will True Love conquer all?
    [raises his detonator]
    Joker: Not on my show!
    • Also, the Vegas casinos are emptied...except for one old woman playing the slots;
      Joker: Ma'am? Ma'am? Aren't you worried?
      Old woman: About what? This thing's bound to pay off sooner or later.
      Joker: Man, I love this town!
      • That leads to a demented Brick Joke at the very end of the episode. "JACKPOT!"
    • The Joker's subdued "Huh" after Flash runs the last bomb into the desert while it's exploding.
    • Joker's reaction to seeing Harley Quinn socking Batman in the jaw after she sees Joker being close to Ace.
    Joker [surprised]: Wow, didn't see that coming.
    • Also in that episode:
      Joker: "There are twenty five bombs scattered throughout the city, and they're set to go off in..." (puts on glasses takes an exaggerated look at the timer in the corner of the screen) "Oh dear! That's not a lot of time!"
    • Also, the line "While they stumble around, trying to find my bomb" just gets you. And when he puts the countdown clock in the corner, it's 22 minutes and change, and Joker then quips, "What, were you expecting, a ROUND number?!"
      • Then at the end, Flash stops the last bomb, which is seconds away from exploding. The camera is on him, the clock strikes :01, and he and the bomb disappear. Cue a stunned Joker wondering what the hell just happened. Flash ran the bomb all the way out to the desert, with it exploding in his hands—frame-by-frame, too—in the span of one second
  • Or this moment in the Batcave in "Starcrossed", pt. 2.
    • Especially funny is that Flash's dumb smile doesn't go away after Alfred's sarcasm. He just seemed so genuinely proud of himself for figuring out what that dinosaur was.
    • And this bit:
      Flash: What Does This Button Do? (presses it, blasts a hole in the side of Wayne Manor).
  • When Green Lantern is captured and brought before Despero in "Hearts and Minds":
    GL: Despero, I presume.
    Whole Crowd: DESPERO IS ALL!
    GL: With a backup group, no less.
    • When Despero reveals the flame of Pitar to GL:
      GL: You built a bonfire.
    • The Flash and Kilowog search GL's apartment for his power battery. Flash raids the fridge and offers Kilowog some of GL's ice cream. He eats it, cardboard tub and all. He also snacks on a VHS tape. Both delicacies get the same comment from him.
      Kilowog: Delicious!
    • GL's landlady, armed with a broom, beats the crap out of the Flash for trespassing. Kilowog continues searching the apartment, ignoring this.
      Flash: (To the landlady) We'll give you a call if we ever need a replacement for Hawkgirl!
  • In "The Terror Beyond," after Aquaman brings him to Fate's tower, Inza presents Solomon Grundy with some treats. He looks ready to eat, but actually hesitates out of politeness.
    Inza: It's okay. Take as many as you want.
    (Grundy starts pigging out)
    • Afterwards, Doctor Fate arrives:
      Doctor Fate: I am Doctor Fate.
      Grundy: (swallowing) Girl gave Grundy the cookies!
    • Then, after some plot exposition:
      Grundy: Talk too much, Grundy bored!
    • Also, Aquaman's words when he saves Grundy from the military, in light of who and what he's talking to.
      Aquaman: If you wish to live, come with me.
    • Icthultu notices Hawkgirl is Thanagarian (her people worshipped, then banished him) giving us this exchange:
      Icthultu: You have the stench of the Thanagarians upon you.
      Hawkgirl: Says the giant squid.
  • Superman releases his inner child in "Comfort and Joy". He still believes in Santa (which, admittedly, may be justified), wants to be the one to plug in the Christmas tree, and attempts to peek into his wrapped presents using X-ray vision, only to be foiled by Ma and Pa Kent wrapping them in lead foil. The juxtaposition with his normal, serious self is hilarious.
    • A little one when J'onn plays Santa for a little girl. He reaches down from the chimney for an Oreo cookie, followed by an "Mmm." Coming from The Spock of the outfit, it's funny.
  • There's something oddly funny about Superman charging at Brainiac (who's behind a force field), only to have the field bounce him back like a stretched rubber band when he is only a couple meters from reaching the villain. He lands next to Darkseid.
    Darkseid: Idiot.
  • In "Hereafter", Wonder Woman blocks Weather Wizard's lightning with her metal bracers. The Flash's reaction?
    Flash: There are so many reasons why that shouldn't have worked.
  • "Tabula Rasa" has the moment where Amazo first meets Mercy-and proceeds to hit on her. Apparently, he absorbed more than super-speed from the Flash.
  • In "In Blackest Night", Flash is attempting to defend Green Lantern. He chooses to act as Lantern's lawyer, as the planet they're on "solved their lawyer problem a long time ago". He's then told that if Green Lantern is found guilty, his lawyer will be executed too.
    Flash: That's crazy!
    Alien Judge: No. That's how we solved our lawyer problem.

    Justice League Unlimited 

  • In the episode 'Fearful Symmetry', after the the Question reveals that he knows exactly what Supergirl eats late at night (here):
    Supergirl: How did yo- What, do you go through my trash?!
    The Question: Please. I go through everyone's trash.
    • Later that episode, The Question breaking into a building while singing Bubblegum Pop out of tune.
      The Question: [approaching locked glass door] Fell in love again, what am I gonna tell-my-friends? It just happened, you walked in my door, now I don't want to be. Alone. No. More. [throws a potted plant through the glass] Oops. I've done it. Told you how I feeeel. Now I just have to hope, our love is reeeeal...
  • Flash and J'onn pick their players for a game of "Brawlin' Bots" ("The Ties That Bind"):
    Flash: Dibs on the green one!
    • From the beginning of said episode, Flash and the Elongated Man are deep in discussion and bent over what looks like a chessboard, discussing how neither of them is taken seriously by the rest of the League... only for the camera to pan out and reveal that theyre actually playing Brawlin Bots.
      Flash: Haha, I bopped your block off!
      EM: That's not fair, the green guy's arms are longer!
      Flash: Are not!
  • During an Electric Torture sequence in the episode 'Question Authority', The Question resists interrogation by only revealing random useless facts, such as the name for those little plastic caps at the end of a shoelace. He then added on "Their true purpose is sinister." This being Question, he might have been serious.
    • From the same episode, Question's capture, specifically how Luthor managed to outwit him. The Question thinks Luthor running for president will eventually lead to the end of the world as shown in the Justice Lords alternate universe. The Question's solution is killing Luthor before Superman can. The reason this doesn't work? The Question didn't count on how petty Luthor can be.
      Luthor: That's right, conspiracy buff. I spent 75 million dollars on a fake presidential campaign, all just to tick Superman off.
  • From "This Little Piggy":
    • Circe trying to ham it up with a big villain rant. Zatanna isn't having any of it.
      Circe: Insolent trickster! You dare to strike... [hit with a chair] You dare to strike... [hit with a table] You dare to strike... [is covered with a tablecloth, yanks it off] QUIT IT! Oh no... [slammed by a piano]
    • Red Tornado's one line... "Suuuh-WEEEEEE!"
    • Pig!Diana having so many people chasing her, and happening to block a bullet with her bracelets. The man who shot at her just looks vaguely confused.
    • Batman's Darkest Secret. Batman really does make everything funnier!
    • Batman gives Wonder Woman the "It's Not You, It's My Enemies" speech about why they can't date and how his villains would attack her. Wonder Woman... crushes a stone gargoyle head to immediately render the entire thing moot.
    • According to DVD commentary, The Joker was supposed to make a cameo in the episode. He and his minions would have been plotting something when Batman walks by cradling Pig!Wonder Woman in his arms and talking to her. The whole thing causes Joker to throw his arms up in defeat and walk out of there. It's hilarious to imagine.
    • This is the only episode Bwana Beast featured in, which is kind of sad when you consider some of the dialogue he gets.
      Bwana Beast (speaking to pigs): C'mon, anybody seen her? Newcomer. Metal bracelets. Kinda stuck-up.
      • And then there's his introduction to Zatanna:
        Bwana Beast: Bwana Beast. How ya doing?
        Zatanna: My legs are just fine, thanks. As is the rest of me.
        Bwana Beast: Ooh, she's got the fire of the cheetah in her. (growls seductively)
        Zatanna: (to Batman, clearly uncomfortable) Why are you doing this to me?
    • An in-universe example is in the DVD commentary for this episode where the creators have a chuckle over the fact that Bruce is ten times nicer to Diana when she's a pig than when she's her normal self, especially during the scene when he meets with Zatanna and very sweetly pets Pig!Diana and rubs her back. That might be one part Diana would have liked to remember...
      • It's implied she did remember, which makes it a little funnier.
  • "Panic in the Sky":
    • Batman tries to destroy Lex's robot with an exploding batarang. Lex catches it in midair, and deadpans "That... was uncalled for." And then hits him with a tool bench.
    • Later, Lex asks a defeated Amanda Waller if she really thought she could beat him all by herself.
      Waller: Actually, yeah. But on the off chance I was wrong…
      (Cue the Big Seven showing up behind Luthor)
      Flash: Ta-daa!
    • Even before all that when Batman confronts Luthor at LexCorp, and Luthor monologues about his Evil Plan to ascend into godhood and murder Superman and the League. Batman probably gave the best response to any supervillain scheme ever:
      Batman: Sorry. Maybe next time.
      (Throws the batarang at the android)
    • Another one from the same episode is that after the remaining League in the Watchtower defeat the Ultimen clones, the power reboots back on and the lights return to the station, prompting cheers ("Yay!"). A second later, the power cuts out again, with widespread groans ("Aww!")
  • As Batman is falling from his plane, completely deadpan. ("Dark Heart")
    "Batman to all points. I could use some air support. Since I can't fly. At all."
    [just seconds before he hits the ground]
    "Now would be good."
  • Copperhead, poor poor Copperhead. He seemed so confident in "Injustice for All". When we see him later? Not so much.
    Copperhead: It was judgement day! And we got sent to the bad place! THE BAD PLACE!!!
    Cheetah: [smacks Copperhead across the face] Snap out of it, Copper.
    • Plus Green Lantern's response:
      Green Lantern: "We probably just got sent to another dimension."
      Copperhead: "Oh, is that all?!"
  • The Question's obsessive, maniacal search for The Truth continues in "Grudge Match"
    Question (perusing Baskin-Robbins' secret files): "Aha! As I suspected: thirty-two flavors!"
  • 'The Great Brain Robbery' is rich with them. It's even provided the page quote for Most Definitely Not a Villain:
    Flash (in Luthor's body): My fellow bad guys. I, Lex Luthor, your leader, will speak now about my, Lex Luthor's, plan. My villainous, villainous plan. Question the plan at your peril! Uh... any questions?
    • Bizarro had one:
      Bizarro: Ever since you plug into monkey's head, you act perfectly sane and rational. Am you Bizarro mommy?
      • As Luthor (the real one) created him way back in Superman: The Animated Series, he sort of is "Bizarro's mommy"! So that scene is at once Funny, Heartwarming, and a bit of a Tearjerker, with a side of Fridge Brilliance thrown in there for good measure!
    • "Watch your step, my evil minion. You presume too much! One of these days, you'll go too far."
    • The episode cements the Superfriends-ish flavor that the final season had for most of its duration, though in a much better way than Hanna-Barbera used to do. The icing on the cake has to go to Luthor, as the Flash, inadvertently discovering Green Lantern's weakness. It must be seen to be believed. Here.
    • Just after defeating Green Lantern and Professor Fate in the cafeteria, Luthor-as-Flash runs off...then immediately nips back to shovel some food into his mouth.
    • 'Lex Luthor' is so evil, he doesn't even wash his hands. Made even more hilarious by Dr. Polaris' reaction, as though he's shocked by how evil that is.
    • And from the same episode:
      Tala: Come rest in here, darling.
      (Tala drags 'Lex' into a room)
      "Lex:" Hey! That's not restful.
    • Flash-as-Luthor's reaction to Talia:
    Talia: "Dr. Polaris is this close to open revolt. I want to punish him, baby. So...very...badly..."
    '"Lex:" "Uh...sure. One question: do I know you?"
    • Meanwhile, Lex is having his own difficulties in his borrowed body:
      "The Flash": If nothing else, I can at least learn the Flash's secret identity. (takes off the Flash's mask) ...I have no idea who this is.
    • "Just be careful with my head. It's where I keep all my one-liners."
    • At the beginning of the episode, Sinestro expresses concerns about Luthor's leadership:
      Sinestro: After Grodd tried to turn the world into apes, you can imagine how seriously we take something like that. What are you going to do, make everybody bald?
  • Hawkgirl, after a fair bit of expository dialogue between Luthor/Brainiac and Superman: "Less talking, more hitting!" ("Divided We Fall")
  • "Getting [Bruce Wayne's] DNA was easy. He left it all over town... Not remotely what I meant." ("Epilogue")
    • The cut to the expression on Terry's face is what really sells it. One little Fascinating Eyebrow says so much.
    • Hearing Bruce scolding Terry about being out late like some nagging grandparent, delivered in his typical deadpan.
      Bruce: Where the devil have you been? [...]You could've called. I made you some soup, but it's cold.
  • Imagine Batman playing good cop to his future self.
    Green Lantern: Everything's relative.
  • "Far From Home" Supergirl and her future boyfriend are introduced to each other.
    Brainiac 5: I'm sure this must be disorienting for you. My name is...
    Supergirl: Brainiac!
    Brainiac 5: Yes. How did you...Uh Oh.
    (She tries to clobber him).
    • Later, Superman asks Green Lantern and Green Arrow: "Now, this boy Kara likes so much...does he have a name?" Cue distressed looks on Green Lantern and Green Arrow's faces.
  • The episode "Flash and Substance" is terrific, not only does it feature the aforementioned Flash and Batman, but also Orion, who's an even bigger case of The Comically Serious than Batman (which is saying something). And the scene where Flash interrogates the Trickster was probably the funniest thing ever on the show. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, too.
    Flash: James, you're off your meds, aren't you?
    Trickster: Better off without 'em. Take 'em if I start feeling down.
    Flash: You know that's not how the medicine works. You're not well!
    Trickster: I'm fine! ...You wanna throw some darts?
    Flash: No, listen, James, you're wearing the suit again.
    Trickster: I am? [Looks down at costume] Well, what do you know?
    Flash: Here's the deal, buddy. Tell me where those guys went, and I'll come see you in the hospital. We'll play darts! The soft kind.
    Trickster: [smiles widely] Okay, they're gonna ambush you at the Flash Museum.
    Flash: See? That's all we needed! [to Batman and Orion] Come on, we better get over there.
    Orion: What about your enemy?
    Flash: Oh, right. Dude, as soon as you finish your drink, turn yourself in.
    Trickster: [raises mug] Got me again, Flash!
    • The Trickster is made of CMOF. Like his conversation with the other three Flash Rogues in that episode.
      Mirror Master: Here we are, the hardest men in town and we all have something in common.
      Trickster: Bilateral symmetry?
    • The following one-sided conversation between Batman and Orion in the same episode:
      Orion: I can't believe you let that buffoon manipulate you. You'd never see me at one of these museum openings.
      [Batman gives him a "you just volunteered" stare]
      Orion: ...It's not black tie, is it?
    • The continuation of the "hardest men in town" conversation above:
      Waitress: What'll it be, boys?
      Captain Boomerang: Arnold Palmernote .
      Trickster: Cherry Cola.
      Mirror Master: Decaf soy latte.
      Captain Cold: Milk.
      (Others stare at him]
      Captain Cold: [sheepishly] My ulcer's been acting up.
      • And he says "Milk" like he's hoping if he sounds gruff enough, nobody will notice.
    • Mirror Master: Boomer, must you always plead poverty?
    • Flash's Insult Backfire:
      Flash: Mirror Master!
      Mirror Master: You're as quick as ever!
      Flash: Yeah? Well, you're... You're not really all there!
      Mirror Master: Oooh! Nice try! If you had another minute, you'd probably think of a decent comeback!
    • This dialogue:
      Linda Park: When we come back, I'll try to get with him... Get to him... For an interview... Are we off? Geez. He's a total babe. Like the entire track team at once. I can't believe you're not into him, Marla.
      Marla: Okay... Now you're off. [Linda slaps a paper on her face in embarrassment]
    • The Flash, stuck on a flying, giant, spinning boomerang, to Captain Boomerang, who was watching him on it: "I swear, when I get out of this, I'm gonna find you and hurl all over you!"
    • According to Captain Cold, taking turns is dumb.
    • Orion punching the head off of a cardboard Flash.
    • Mirror Master trapped in a shattered mirror and babbling at the CSI guy sweeping the pieces into a bag:
    Mirror Master: "Are you sure that's all the pieces? I want to talk to my lawyer! I shall demand a full accounting, you perverse parody of a public servant...!"
  • On the run from a returning Amazo, Luthor is escorted by Supergirl and Steel to his secret lab, hidden inside... a barbershop. ("The Return")
    Steel: Gotta hand it to you, Luthor. Nobody would think to look for you here.
    • He then asks what's next after Luthor gets his nose hairs trimmed.
  • In "Dead Reckoning", Deadman possessed Superman mid-sentence as he discussed a fast food restaurant in Metroplis he likes, resulting in:
    Superman: "And the milkshakes are so thick—" [possessed] "—I need your help."
    Wonder Woman: "That's pretty thick."
    • When they get to Gorilla City, he possesses someone else, leaving a confused Superman behind.
      "—you have to eat them with a spoon! ...What am I doing in Africa?"
    • Later in the episode it's revealed that Grodd's plan was to actually turn everyone into gorillas. What's Lex's reaction after it happens and he looks at his still hairless body?
  • Most of Skeets' lines in "The Greatest Story Never Told", but especially when Booster Gold starts ragging on himself and even Skeets' constant stream of encouraging sycophancy finally gives out: "I got nothin'."
    • The running people's reaction to the projected red traffic light.
    • Apparently Booster watched too much Star Trek:
      Booster Gold: Energize!
      Watchtower Tech: Doofus.
    • Skeet's instructions on childbirth:
      Skeet: "According to my files, we first boil water, then tear up several sheets. Preferably ones we no longer intend to use for bedding..." (Booster shoves him aside).
  • "Diana is a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend. She's... standing Right Behind Me, isn't she?" ("The Once and Future Thing, Part 1")
    • "But don't let that stop you. Keep digging."
    • The bit of dialogue leading up to this was funny in it's own right when you realize that not only is Batman making small talk willingly, he's teasing Green Lantern about his love life.
  • Warhawk, seeing Green Lantern at the end of the "The Once and Future Thing, Part I": "Dad?"
  • Hal Jordan is in less than half of one episode ("The Once and Future Thing, Part II"), but still manages to get a moment in:
    John Stewart: Enid Clinton, we've got—
    [The past is altered mid-sentence, resulting in Hal Jordan being the Green Lantern]
    Hal Jordan: —business with your husband. [to everyone else] What? Hal Jordan. Another time shift. I'm up to speed. Carry on.
    Terry: O-kay, I'm starting to get a migraine.
    • And then when Hal Jordan changed back to John Stewart:
      Static: Make up your mind!
    • A good chunk of the episode "The Once and Future Thing" could probably qualify. There's also another bit between Batman and Old Man Bruce where present-day Bats decides to go out and find information the more direct way.
      Terry: It's not going to work, you don't know your way around here. A lot of things have changed.
      Batman: Are criminals still superstitious and cowardly?
      Old Bruce: Yup.
      Batman: Good enough for me.
    • There's also when Batman meets his older self.
      Terry: Batman, Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne, Batman. Or have you met?
      Both Bruce Waynes: Not now!
      Terry: Great. What did they used to call it? Stereo?
    • There's an absolutely golden moment where Chronos, having discovered that Chucko was selling information to Batman, drops him back in the age of the dinosaurs. Chucko merely scoffs and declares he can easily defeat the dinosaurs with his weapons. Cue meteor bursting through the clouds.
      Chucko: Aw, phooey.
      • Then, when Chronos returns to the present:
        Chronos: Do you know what killed the dinosaurs? Well, Chucko does!
    • Static [[Troll trolling] John over his relationship with Shayera.
      Static: Shayera was one cranky pregnant lady. Although, to be fair, if I had laid an egg that size...
  • "Clash" is good not only for the awesome fight scenes, but a couple of hilarious moments from Mr. Comically Serious himself, Batman:
    Batman: You were a little hard on the Boy Scout, don't you think?
    Superman: I thought I was the Boy Scout.
    Batman: I did too, 'til I met Captain Marvel.
    Superman: Why are you—why is everyone defending him?
    Batman: We like him. He's... sunny.
    • As well as this:
      Batman: What did these guys want anyway?
      Superman: To take over the world. Or rob banks. I forget.
  • Green Arrow singing his own musical theme as he charges into battle. ("To Another Shore")
  • At the beginning of "Double Date", you have two mooks waiting outside their boss's mansion, and this bit of dialogue comes up:
    Cecil: But how come when I make the scones, they don't got that good flavor like yours, Tony?
    Tony: (smacks Cecil's head) Do I have to tell you again how you gotta add the orange zest, Cecil? You gonna make me give you the recipe again, huh? You're killing me here, Cecil! Killing me!
    • Also from "Double Date", when Black Canary and Green Arrow are riding on a motorcycle over a train track:
      Green Arrow: Are we dead yet?
      Black Canary: No.
      Green Arrow: (voice getting shakier) Are we dead yet?
      Black Canary: Look, if we die, I promise I'll let you know!
    • Also, this gem:
      Huntress: Train.
      Question: I see it.
      Huntress: Train!
      Question: I see it!
      • Black Canary's reaction when it's her turn is but one word: "Whoops."
    • The whole chase is a joint CMOF/A, but the ending seals it.
      Green Arrow: *Following the above 'whoops'* J'onn, get us out of here! NOW!
      ( J'onn zetas them off the bike just before impact. Bike is obliterated. As they come out of zeta, momentum dumps them in the bay)
      Black Canary: I can't believe you! I rebuilt that bike by hand!
      Arrow: You're right. I'm sorry for saving our lives. (Canary swims off in a huff) And J'onn says Huntress is the unstable one.
    • Huntress and Question's first meeting. Naturally, they're not exactly...polite:
      Huntress: You're the League's data guy, the conspiracy buff, right? Wildcat says you're a nutjob.
      Question: Funny, he says the same thing about you.
      Huntress: He's right.
      Question: OK, bored now, goodbye. *waves a hand without even looking up from his computer*
  • "Panic in the Sky": when Lex Luthor takes control of the JL's satellite and fires its main gun at the Earth, the founding Leaguers agree to turn themselves in to the US government as a show of faith. Batman, however, decides to follow a separate lead.
    Soldier: Where's Batman?
    Flash: Running late. The Batmobile, it lost a wheel. The Joker got away. [Beat] That's what I heard.
  • Vigilante is ripe with Funny Miments (which should come as no surprise, considering who voices him), but one of his funniest moments is in "Hunter's Moon" note  when he nabs the Thanagarian's ship in an attempt to rescue Vixen and Shayera.
    Vigilante: Consarned, dang-blasted, horse-thievin', alien control panel which can't nobody work proper! (flies beneath Vixen, who is free-falling) I'M COMIN', DARLIN'! YEEEEEEE-HAW!
    • A little while later, while Vixen and Paran Dul's fight in the back of the ship makes things a bit rocky:
      Vigilante: Y'both mind!? Student driver up here!
  • In "Patriot Act", several of the non-superpowered League members are fighting a supersoldier (the mutated Gen. Wade Eiling) that keeps demanding that Superman come to fight him. Green Arrow, who has been requesting backup from the Watchtower throughout the whole fight, receives word that reinforcements are on the way. This leads to the following:
    Green Arrow: [to Eiling] Well you wanted Superman? Now you got- [two people teleport in] ...the Crimson Avenger and my ex-sidekick.
    Speedy: [having just teleported in] Ex-partner!
    Green Arrow: Speedy, we gotta' do this now?
    • After Eiling effortlessly swats the Avenger and starts advancing:
      Eiling: You spoiled, rich little twerp!
      Green Arrow: [while pelting him with arrows, including one stolen from Speedy's quiver] I think he means me.
      Speedy: [likewise, deadpan] Oh. For a second, I was all mad.
  • Green Lantern's exclamation on seeing Hawkgirl in a dress: "Shayera, I wanted to... JUDAS PRIEST!" ("Shadow of the Hawk")
  • This moment at the end of "Kid Stuff", wherein every hero is turned back into an adult. Even Etrigan. In Wonder Woman's arms.
    Etrigan: Mommy!
    [Wonder Woman drops him]
    Etrigan: Ow!
    • Batboy's also got plenty of great moments.
      Batboy: (seeing the others fly off) It's not a race!
    • When Wondy needs to rally the kids:
      Wondy: THAT'S ENOUGH!!!
      Girl: You can't tell us what to do! You're not our mom!
      Wondy: No, but I promise you, we will find all your moms. And I'm gonna tell!
      Kid Lantern: (to Batboy) Man, your girlfriend sure is bossy.
      Batboy: Shut up!
    • Wondy crushing hard on Batboy. Superboy doesn't get it.
      Kid Lantern: Man, for someone with like fifty different kinds of vision, you are so blind!
    • After Wondy burps Baby!Etrigan:
      Wondy: That's all he needed!
      Kid Lantern: (sniffs) Aw man! That ain't all he needs!
      Batboy: Now that is a job for Superman!
    • If you really want a laugh, just imagine the adult versions of Green Lantern, Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman saying those really kid-ish lines.
  • The scene in "The Ties That Bind" where Flash first convinces Barda and Mr. Miracle to let him help them. It's especially adorable how he punctuates it all with "Friends?"
    • Giving Barda the flower was the icing on top.
    • "Robots! I love smashing robots!"
    • Baron Vunderbar produces a good one after he has tried 'every device' to make Kalibak his obedient servant.
      Baron Vunderbar: Every device except... cake!
      • Kalibak actually looks tempted for a moment.
    • The fact that Vunderbar is Arte Johnson reprising his German soldier character from Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In- he even says "Verrry interesting- but stupid."
  • In "Task Force X," after Flagg's team has gotten through Watchtower security.
    Deadshot: I thought he was gonna wet himself when you mentioned the Martian. He couldn't let us through fast enough.
    Plastique: That was nothin'. I almost lost it when this bonehead set off the metal detector.
    Captain Boomerang: 75 cents is 75 cents. I'm supposed to throw away money?
    • And, of course, there's Deadshot trolling Plastique by asking Green Lantern if he could get Hawkgirl's autograph for him.
    • Also, before all that, Col. Flagg pop-quizzing Plastique on their mission:
    Rick Flagg: OK, Plastique. You're setting the charge, and Superman walks in the room...
    Plastique: (understandably startled) You said he wouldn't be there!
    Rick Flagg: Last minute change in the duty roster. Superman's got the drop on you. What do you do?
    Plastique: ...Before or after I change my shorts?
  • Batman's are bigger than Amanda Waller's. Made more hilarious by Batman's dickish grin while he says it.
  • The beginning of "The Cat and the Canary" - Wild Cat is having trouble with some common thugs, and one of them is watching a fight on his laptop after WC was beaten. The commentary from the laptop fits Black Canary appearing and beating up the thugs quite well. Also counts as a CMoA.
  • "I hear she's... you know... Brazilian." (Hawkgirl, "I Am Legion")
  • The interaction between Stargirl and Warlord in "Chaos at the Earth's Core", as they both look over the ragtag group that's gathered to fight the local tyrant.
    Stargirl: Geeze, you call that an army?
    Warlord: Most of these folks have lost everything to Deimos. So, you know, feel free to dump on them.
    • The opening, set in Japan where Supergirl is beating up a giant mutant turtle, has Stargirl grumbling about the other heroine "stealing her thunder" and getting her shin kicked by a fangirl. Stargirl tries to score some points by pointing out that her stepdad, Stripe, drives a mecha, but the fangirl just scoffs: "Mecha so last year."
  • At the begining of the finale, we have Luthor commanding the Legion of Doom to build another device. We get this gem:
    Lex: Sinestro, don't forget the floor, I want radiation shielding from every direction. Rampage... [Loud shaking noise, cut to Bizarro trying to put a square box into a round plug] Bizarro.
  • One of the final lines of all JLU, when Flash overhears Martian Manhunter on the phone: (you guessed it, "Destroyer")
    J'onn: I should be back in time for dinner. I love you too.
    Flash: These are the end times...
    • Still in "Destroyer", Toyman gets surrounded by Parademons. He shoots at them with Nerf gun darts, and as the shots harmlessly bounce off, the Parademons stare in confusion... until they all explode.
  • At the very end of it all, the Legion of Doom had just assisted the Justice League to defeat the forces of Apokalips. When the Legion learn they're about to be arrested, Atomic Skull insists they should be compensated for helping them. Batman reluctantly agrees...
    Batman: Five minute head start.
    Atomic Skull: Five minutes? Are you kidding?
    Wonder Woman: Four minutes, fifty seconds.
    [The Legion starts running, though Giganta steals a kiss from Flash before leaving. As the League prepares to pursue, Bats and Supes have a final Odd Couple moment.]
    Superman: A head start? You're getting soft in your old age.
    Batman: Don't you have a tall building to go leap?
    Wonder Woman: And so, the adventure continues...
    [Final Curtain Call to end the series.]
  • "The Doomsday Sanction" had a meeting between the Founding Seven discussing Cadmus. Batman mentions that he assigned The Question to gathering information on the organization. This elicits a Collective Groan from the rest.
    Flash: Not that nutjob!
  • "The Balance": Hermes is the Messenger of the Gods, you'd think he'd be experienced enough not to screw up which scroll he gives to who.
    Wonder Woman: (reading from scroll) "For a good time, call Podenemus"?
    Hermes: Wrong scroll. I think I got a shot, it's her cell number.
    • Just before that, Hermes remarks that the message must be pretty important: "Zeus paid for overnight service."
    • From the same episode, when Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl are in Hades, some demons see Hawkgirl's wings, and are instantly hesitant to fight her. She plays this for all it's worth, claiming to be an angel, and scaring the demons away.
    Hawkgirl: With any luck, they'll all be that dumb.