Dude, She's a Lesbian
The Casanova Bob meets his match with Alice. In spite of his flirting, charms, and a good romantic track record, she seems uninterested, and doesn't want to go out for a drink right after. He is confused, but he won't back down... ...until Carl kindly walks over and whispers to Bob, "Dude, she's a lesbian." Dude, She's A Lesbian is when one person attempts to hit on another person, and a third person informs him or her of his Incompatible Orientation. This could lead to some awkwardness. Besides the person informing of the Incompatible Orientation being different, there are several differences between the trope Sorry, I'm Gay. First of all, this could be said after Alice, a lesbian, walks away from Bob. Also, Alice could be in the closet, and only Carl knows her secret. Or also, Alice is a Transparent Closet. Obviously related to Sorry, I'm Gay. Could overlap with All the Good Men Are Gay. Compare "You're Not My Type", for situations that don't involve sexual orientation.
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- The Norwegian comic Pondus has many examples of this. In one strip, a fat, ugly bus-driver who is notoriously unlucky in love is sitting in a bar. Suddenly he realizes that the woman to his left and the woman to his right are both looking his way in a really flirty manner. He exclaims "There Is a God!!" as they start moving towards him. ...And then he finishes his sentence with "...and he doesn't like me" as both women pass him by and kiss each other.
- Done in Wildstorm's six-issue Friday the 13th miniseries, where one of the Final Girl's friends tells a guy showing interest in her that Final Girl is a lesbian. It later turns out she was lying for no real reason, though.
- In Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Dwight tells Peter that his lawyer/crush Kate has to be a lesbian. In the end, Kate's girlfriend shows up and they make out, confirming the trope but then subverting it as it turns out Kate is bisexual and makes out with Peter.
- Gloriously done in Imagine Me And You:
Coooper: Did you see that flower girl out there? Later we are going to fall madly in bed.
Heck: So it is going well for you then?
Cooper: Very well.
Heck: She is a lesbian.
Cooper: Is that right? Cool.
Heck: Doesn't that slightly thwart your plan for seduction?
Cooper: Anyone can change teams... Not anyone, cause I would never, you know...hmm... [starts gulping down his drink]
- In Clueless, Cher is smitten with the dashing, yet very gay Christian. She doesn't see it, but Murray does. He enlightens her with this elegant Hurricane of Euphemisms:
Murray: Your man Christian is a cake boy!
Cher & Dionne: a what?
Murray: He's a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand-ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, know what I'm saying?
- In the film Mona Lisa, George falls in love with Simone, a prostitute, and doesn't find out until near the end of the film that she's really a lesbian.
- A man is drinking in a pub when he sees two stunning-looking women enter and sit down at the bar. He calls the bartender over and says he'll pay for the women's drinks. The bartender tells him, "Sorry, friend, but you should probably know they're lesbians." The man waves a hand dismissively and insists on paying for their drinks anyway. A minute later he finishes his own drink, stands up, sidles over to the women and says, "So, ladies, what part of Lesbia are you from?"
Live Action TV
- In an episode of Hustle, Danny is completely mystified by the lack of response the hotel receptionist has to his flirting and worries that he is losing his mojo with the opposite sex. He is delighted at the end of the episode to learn that she is a lesbian.
- In White Collar during the pilot episode, Neal flirts with Diana and brags to Peter that she's digging the cool hat he's wearing. Peter informs him that she'd rather be wearing the hat, thus launching one of the least sexualized lesbians ever.
- Subverted in an early episode of Glee; Mercedes seemed perfectly aware of Kurt's sexuality until the Cheerios took advantage of her loneliness and basically told her, "Dude, he's not gay." When she takes the opportunity to ask him out, however, it is Kurt who sets her straight.
- In an episode of Night Court, Christine discovers that a woman she recently met was actually a romance novelist...and a lesbian. Later, when Harry tries to seduce her, Christine writes him a note proclaiming the woman's orientation with multiple exclamation points.
- The Wire: McNulty upon meeting Greggs is intrigued by the no-nonsense detective, and tries to chat her up. Gregg's informant Bubbles is amused:
Bubble: Are you a dog McNulty? Cos you barking up the wrong pussy.
- In an episode of Roseanne, one of Dan's new poker buddies asks what kind of man Nancy is into and David replies "the kind who wears a bra, she's into chicks". Subverted when Nancy actually accepts a date with the man later on.
- NewsRadio: Mr. James tells Dave he's made an addition to his wish list of potential wives - Melissa Etheridge. Dave tells him that she is definitely as gay as k. d. lang - a disappointed James crosses two names off his list.
- Used from a completely different starting point in the Unforgettable episode "Cashing Out". Al starts to insinuate a possible affair angle between a slain zoning commissioner and his lovely assistant, but then Carrie sees a wedding photo of the assistant and shuts him down because the spouse is female.
- In Frasier Roz Doyle makes a new friend and they agree to go out together. It only slowly dawns on Roz that her new friend is lesbian. But as the alternative is a date with the nerdy Trekkie producer who is stalking her, she promptly chooses being mistaken for gay as the better of two alternatives.
- Mass Effect 3: If you re-recruit Gabby and Ken, the Greek Chorus engineers from the previous game, they have a conversation regarding Gay Option Samantha Traynor.
Ken: Gabby, what do you think about our yeoman, Miss Traynor?Gabby: She's not a yeoman. She's a communications specialist. And you're barking up the wrong tree, Kenneth. You're not her type.Ken: Oh. Well, perhaps you should go and talk to her, then?Gabby: Maybe I should. Nobody is barking up my tree.
- In Rain, this situation happens with Maria and Gavin. Their faux relationship to cover up her orientation started when Maria rejects him. When he refuses to give up, Maria's brother, Rudy, tells him, "Dude, she's a lesbian."
- It's pulled again MUCH later in the series, when Gavin infoms Rudy of this, regarding Rain. In a nice, ironic sense. Rudy is not amused.
- In the contemporary arc of Arthur, King of Time and Space, Galehaute expresses an interest in Lancelot and Morgan has to tell him Dude, he's straight and celibate.
- Ghastly's Ghastly Comic features Brewster ignoring Nort telling him this and hitting on the lesbian couple at the bar anyway. Their response: "Either Diana Ross has really let herself go, or a very stupid little man is trying to pick us up."
- Anyone But Me uses this when Jonathan's friend begins pursuing Vivian, only to be told by Jonathan that she is a lesbian. In this case, he continues his pursuit hoping to "change" her.
- Subverted in Justice League, when The Flash is admiring his newest crush, Fire, from afar as she converses with her gal-pal Ice. Hawkgirl notices.
Hawkgirl: "Why don't you just go talk to her?"Flash: "Who, me? Talk to her? No way."Hawkgirl: "Yeah, you'd probably be wasting your time anyway. I hear she's, y'know..." (Flash looks worried) "Brazilian."Flash: "Ha-ha."