Batman (1960s TV series)
- Pop Goes The Joker: the Joker is teaching a sculpt-by-model class in which Bruce Wayne is a student. It must be seen to be believed (skip at the two-minute mark):
"Ew! That's terrible, Wayne, terrible! Why, even a three year old could do better than that!" *mashes clay together into Clown-Dada* "Ah, there! Now that's more like it!"
"Yes, I see what you mean, that looks about the work of a three year old."
"Yea—eh, I do the jokes around here, Wayne!"
- In the episode "Nora Clavicle and the Ladies' Crime Club", Batman, Robin and Batgirl are playing a flute to guide technicolor mice to the sea Pied Piper style.
- Robin tripping on an incredibly obvious tripwire trap which is even marked.
- Batman having a conversation with Bruce Wayne.
- In one of the Riddler's appearances, he is seen toting around a sack full of ill-gotten gains which is helpfully labeled "LOOT SACK".
- The constant labeling of things in general. Batman mentioning that Penguin must have the supplies for a specific heist in his "criminals' storeroom". Cut to Penguin (listening in via bugged umbrella) sending his minions to fetch said supplies...from a room labeled "CRIMINALS' STOREROOM".
- The reactions of the crooks when the Dynamic Duo popped up alive after a seemingly impossible to escape from deathtrap were always great.
The Puzzler: But you're...you're dead! How puzzling.
- Large Ham King Tut madly screams his dialogue to the ear of one of the beautiful mute Living Prop slave girls of his harem. She tries her best not to change her indifferent expression.
- Batman doing the "Batusi" dance in the pilot episode.
- The second half of "Flop Goes the Joker". Joker talking to Batman and Commissioner Gordon on the phone (Bats was in the same room as Joker), talking smack about Batman, calling him a coward, bragging about stolen paintings and what he'd do to Batman if he were right in front of him. Joker discovering the priceless art he stole was actually some of Alfred's "masterpieces". Batman calling Joker's bluff, to Joker's surprise. The ensuing fight being music to Gordon and O'Hara's ears. Joker taking Baby Jane to Wayne Manor and threatening Alfred with a gun, only for Alfred to smack it out of his hands with a fireplace poker. Alfred outfencing Joker. Joker running into Bruce's studio, discovering Shakespeare's bust with the big button inside (but not the red phone!). Joker going into the Batpoles and sliding down, only to abruptly come back up. Joker's panic at being stuck up there and not being able to breathe. Batman snarking about "giving him some air". Joker going back down, screaming. Joker coming back up and sweet talking Alfred into cutting him loose, only for Alfred to remind him that "we Anglo finks" had a long memory. Robin's Bond One-Liner reply to Aunt Harriet when she asked about Joker.
- Cesar Romero had enough funny moments for 30 appearances just in those 10-15 minutes.
- Alfred foiled so many of Joker's plans, he should have been Joker's archnemesis and not Batman.
- Robin's answer to one of the Riddler's riddles: "When is the time on a clock like the whistle on a train?" "When it's...two to two. TOO TOO TOO!"
- "Robin's Puberty"
Batman (1989 movie)
- Vicki's first visit to the Batcave.
Vicki Vale: (looks up at ceiling) "Bats..."Batman: (walks by one in cage) "They're great survivors."
- Jack Nicholson's Joker has plenty of his own funny moments, but his reaction to the Batwing whisking away the Smilex gas-dispensing balloons is priceless: "HE STOLE MY BALLOONS! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things?" He promptly asks his right-hand man for a gun — and shoots him.
Joker: Bob. Gun. *bang!* I'm gonna need a moment alone, boys.
- Joker's commercial for "NEW AND IMPROVED JOKER PRODUCTS!" The whole thing is darkly hilarious.
- "Love that Joker!"
- "Let's go to the blind taste test. Uh oh! He's been using Brand Xxxxxsssssssssss."
- Followed by the newscasters forced on the air sans any hygiene or beauty products.
- Near the end, Bruce is shown watching the commercial. It's clear he finds it difficult to accept just what he's seeing.
- Joker's feebly hilarious attempt to avoid getting smacked around by Batman by putting on fake glasses.
"Hey, you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, now, would you?" *punch*
Batman: Pardon me, have you ever danced with a devil in the pale moonlight? *punch* *bong*
- Batman throwing back the Joker's Pre-Mortem One-Liner:
- and, during Batman's fight with the goons, one of them tries to jump him, only to fall through the floor, perfectly in time with the music.
- This dialogue between Lt. Eckhart and Knox.
Knox: You know what they say? They say [Batman] can't be killed. They say he drinks blood. They say—
Eckhart: I say, you're full of shit, Knox. Oh, and uh... you can quote me on that. (flicks his cigar at him)
Knox: Lieutenant, is there a six-foot bat in Gotham City? And if so, is he on the police payroll? And if so... what's he pulling down, after taxes?
- Knox's fellow Gotham Gazette reporters ridiculing his "bat man" idea, right down to the cartoonist handing him a drawing of a giant vampire bat... in a suit.
Knox: Yeah. That's nice. Needs a little more blood around the fangs though, huh? [walks away] What a dick...
- "Are you deaf? You don't speak English?"
- "Mr. Knox, we have enough problems in the city without worrying about ghosts and goblins."
- "That's not a denial!"
- "Check this out. He must have been King of the Wicker People."
- "Actually, he's Japanese." "How do you know that?" "...Because I bought it in Japan."
- Bonus points for Bruce being behind them the whole time they were looking.
- And for Robert Wuhl, who ad-libbed his musings on Bruce's collection.
- When Bruce first meets Vicki Vale, he praises her photography of the war in Corto Maltese:
Bruce: You have a real good eye.
Knox: Some would say she has two.
- "Nice outfit."
- Batman's smile, as if saying "thanks".
- Joker's meeting with the crimelords.
Joker: [electrocuting Antoine Rotelli with his lethal handbuzzer] Oh, I got a live one here....Joker: Antoine's got a little hot under the collar.
Vinnie: You're crazy.
Joker: Have you ever heard of the healing power of laughter? (laughs while wiping his "skin" off to reveal a pale, clownlike skin underneath the forehead.) NOW GET OUTTA HERE!!
- The scene where the Joker makes a surprise visit to Vicki's apartment has many moments...
- Bruce Wayne trying, and failing, to stutter out the fact that he is in fact the Batman. The moment Vicki leaves to answer the door, he quickly practices mouthing "I'm the Batman...I'm the Batman..."
- "I'm only laughing on the outside...my smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside, I'm really crying. You might join me for a weep...ahahahahaha!"
- The Joker's surprise present for Vicki.
- "Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things, some of which were true, under the fiend Boss Grissom. He was a thief and a terrorist. On the other hand, he had a tremendous singing voice."
- "Where is the Batman? HE'S AT HOME! WASHING HIS TIGHTS!"
- Joker's dance with Vicki on top of the old church. And his "BANG!" gun.
- This line:
Joker: Here, let me lend you a hand. [Vicki grabs Joker's hand, which is a fake, causing Vicki to fall. But Batman saves her.] HA HA HA! "Lend you a hand"!
"They don't make em like they use to! Hey gang? Hey Batsy?"
- And this:
"Feel free to drop in."
- Attempting to escape:
- The museum scene.
- The way Joker tips over the little statue at the museum.
- At the start of Bruce's story to Joker:
Bruce: Lemme tell you about this guy I know, Jack... mean kid, bad seed. Hurt people.Joker: I like him already.Bruce: You know what the problem was? He got sloppy. You know, crazy. He's the kind of guy who couldn't hear a train until it was two feet from him.
- And this clever one:
Joker: Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas? ("isn't it so?")Bruce: Most of the time.
- Bruce Wayne acting crazy to make The Joker shoot him. "YOU WANNA GET NUTS? COME ON! Let's get nuts."
- While Vicki was arguing with Bruce:
Vicki: I trusted you! I even slept with you, I can't believe I did that!
Bruce: (rolls his eyes) Well, I...
- Alicia meets the Joker for the first time. "Honey, you'll never believe what happened to me today!"
- Joker dropping in on Grissom, although the moment is quite frightening in context.
Grissom: That you, sugarbumps? (sees silhouette of a man) Who the hell are you?Joker: It's me...sugarbumps.
- After killing Grissom, he sighs, "What a day!"
- Any time Batman fights one of the Joker's thugs:
- The sword-swinging thug who seemingly had Batman on the ropes...until Batman decided he'd had enough of his crap and took him down with a single kick to the head.
- Groin of mook with knives on his ankles vs. Batman's extendable groin-punching device. Flawless victory!
- In the bell-tower, one thug tries pouncing on Batman, only to fall short and have the floorboards give out beneath him. Batman didn't even seem to notice him until he heard his scream and the crash.
- Vicki pretending to give into the Joker's seduction to distract him. The Joker, instead of delighted, seems utterly baffled by her sudden change.
- Some alternate takes of Vicki macking on the Joker's suit show her pulling some purple lint off her tongue with a grossed-out look on her face.
- "You IDIOT!!"
- In the Black and White comics, there is a short story set in World War II era Gotham. Batman catches Catwoman stealing diamonds and is highly doubtful when she claims her victim is a Nazi spy. They stake out the man for a while out of mutual stubbornness.
Batman: I haven't seen anything to prove that claim is true—
Victim: *saluting his colleagues* Heil Hitler!
- The Comically Serious: Batman is always so serious, it is INCREDIBLY easy to make anything funny by having him do it in a dramatic manner. It's so true that the comically serious page has him as the trope image.
- Someone had the bright idea to combine Batman with Metalocalypse. Batmetal!
- And now there's a sequel. Batmetal Returns!
- Much of the banter between Nightwing and Oracle belong either here, or under Crowning Moment Of Heart Warming.
- This exchange between Dick Grayson and Jim Gordon, in Scott Snyder's Black Mirror, in which Dick is Batman:
Dick: Call me Dick, please. You drove me to my high school prom.
Jim: Actually, I drove my daughter to her high school prom. You just happened to be in the car.
- And it becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when Jim hints that he knows Dick is Batman, meaning that he must have realized that his daughter had went to prom with Batman.
- Scott Snyder's The Court of Owls arc begins with Batman breaking the Joker out of Arkham. The next few pages proceed to show Joker fighting alongside Batman as Back-to-Back Badasses, and then Joker in the cave, exclaiming that Bruce really does practice brooding. No context is given until halfway through the issue, when it's revealed that the "Joker" is actually just Dick Grayson in disguise. This exchange then follows:
Dick: For what it's worth, how'd I do with him?
Bruce: Are you asking me if you convincing as a homicidal maniac, Dick?
Dick: I suppose I am.
Bruce: Then yes, as a matter of fact, you were.
- In the comics, the Riddler at one point went straight and hired his services out as a celebrity private detective, provoking numerous tense encounters with Batman as their paths crossed on various cases. At one point, this necessitated Batman giving the Riddler a ride in the Batmobile, prompting this exchange:
The Riddler: So... nice car. First time I've been inside it conscious.
Batman: Don't touch anything.
- Batman and Robin Annual #1 was just a feel-good fun story all around, but Alfred is absolutely hilarious. Case in point, the last few lines of the comic:
Bruce: Alfred, shouldn't you return the costume?Alfred: [wearing a garish Renaissance outfit] Master Bruce, kindly shut up.Bruce: Yes sir.
- From Tom King's run on the series: "Kite Man! Hell yeah!"