has its own page.
- Vicki's first visit to the Batcave.
Vicki Vale: (looks up at ceiling) "Bats..."
Batman: (walks by one in cage) "They're great survivors."
- Jack Nicholson's Joker has plenty of his own funny moments, but his reaction to the Batwing whisking away the Smilex gas-dispensing balloons is priceless: "HE STOLE MY BALLOONS! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things?" He promptly asks his right-hand man for a gun — and shoots him.
Joker: Bob. Gun. *bang!* I'm gonna need a moment alone, boys.
- Joker's commercial for "NEW AND IMPROVED JOKER PRODUCTS!" The whole thing is darkly hilarious.
- "Love that Joker!"
- "Let's go to the blind taste test. Uh oh! He don't look so good. He's been using Brand Xxxxxsssssssssss."
- Complete with flashing "NOT AN ACTOR!" and "OH NO!" captions.
- Followed by the newscasters forced on the air sans any hygiene or beauty products.
- Near the end, Bruce is shown watching the commercial. It's clear he finds it difficult to accept just what he's seeing.
- Joker's feebly hilarious attempt to avoid getting smacked around by Batman by putting on fake glasses.
"Hey, you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, now, would you?" *punch*
Batman: Pardon me, have you ever danced with a devil in the pale moonlight? *punch* *bong*
- and, during Batman's fight with the goons, one of them tries to jump him, only to fall through the floor, perfectly in time with the music.
- This dialogue between Lt. Eckhart and Knox.
Knox: You know what they say? They say [Batman] can't be killed. They say he drinks blood. They say—
Eckhart: I say, you're full of shit, Knox. Oh, and uh... you can quote me on that. (flicks his cigar at him)
Knox: Lieutenant, is there a six-foot bat in Gotham City? And if so, is he on the police payroll? And if so... what's he pulling down, after taxes?
- Knox's fellow Gotham Gazette reporters ridiculing his "bat man" idea, right down to the cartoonist handing him a drawing of a giant vampire bat... in a suit.
Knox: Yeah. That's nice. Needs a little more blood around the fangs though, huh? [walks away] What a dick...
- "Are you deaf? You don't speak English?"
- "Mr. Knox, we have enough problems in the city without worrying about ghosts and goblins."
- "Check this out. He must have been King of the Wicker People."
- "Actually, he's Japanese." "How do you know that?" "...Because I bought it in Japan."
- Bonus points for Bruce being behind them the whole time they were looking.
- And for Robert Wuhl, who ad-libbed his musings on Bruce's collection.
- When Bruce first meets Vicki Vale, he praises her photography of the war in Corto Maltese:
- "Nice outfit."
- Batman's smile, as if saying "thanks".
- Joker's meeting with the crimelords.
Joker: [electrocuting Antoine Rotelli with his lethal handbuzzer] Oh, I got a live one here.
Antoine's got a little hot under the collar. Vinnie:
You're crazy. Joker:
Have you ever heard of the healing power of laughter? (laughs while wiping his "skin" off to reveal a pale, clownlike skin underneath the forehead.)
NOW GET OUTTA HERE!!
- The scene where the Joker makes a surprise visit to Vicki's apartment has many moments...
- Bruce Wayne trying, and failing, to stutter out the fact that he is in fact the Batman. The moment Vicki leaves to answer the door, he quickly practices mouthing "I'm the Batman...I'm the Batman..."
- "I'm only laughing on the outside...my smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside, I'm really crying. You might join me for a weep...ahahahahaha!"
- The Joker's surprise present for Vicki.
- "Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things, some of which were true, under the fiend Boss Grissom. He was a thief and a terrorist. On the other hand, he had a tremendous singing voice."
- "Where is the Batman? HE'S AT HOME! WASHING HIS TIGHTS!"
- Joker's dance with Vicki on top of the old church. And his "BANG!" gun.
- This line:
Joker: Here, let me lend you a hand. [Vicki grabs Joker's hand, which is a fake, causing Vicki to fall. But Batman saves her.] HA HA HA! "Lend you a hand"!
"They don't make em like they use to! Hey gang? Hey Batsy?"
"Feel free to drop in."
- The museum scene.
- The way Joker tips over the little statue at the museum.
- At the start of Bruce's story to Joker:
Bruce: Lemme tell you about this guy I know, Jack... mean kid, bad seed. Hurt people.
Joker: I like him already.
Bruce: You know what the problem was? He got sloppy. You know, crazy. He's the kind of guy who couldn't hear a train until it was two feet from him.
- And this clever one:
Joker: Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas? ("isn't it so?")
Bruce: Most of the time.
- Bruce Wayne acting crazy to make The Joker shoot him. "YOU WANNA GET NUTS? COME ON! Let's get nuts."
- While Vicki was arguing with Bruce:
Vicki: I trusted you! I even slept with you, I can't believe I did that!
Bruce: (rolls his eyes) Well, I...
- This line got one of the loudest and longest laughs this troper ever heard in a movie theater
Joker:You made me. Remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try!''
- Alicia meets the Joker for the first time. "Honey, you'll never believe what happened to me today!"
- Joker dropping in on Grissom, although the moment is quite frightening in context.
Grissom: That you, sugarbumps? (sees silhouette of a man) Who the hell are you?
Joker: It's me...sugarbumps.
- After killing Grissom, he sighs, "What a day!"
- One of the Smilex gas-releasing balloons is in the shape of a crying baby. The gas canisters are located on its diaper. When the canisters start releasing gas it looks like a cartoon depiction of stench emanating from the baby's diapers.
- Any time Batman fights one of the Joker's thugs:
- The sword-swinging thug who seemingly had Batman on the ropes...until Batman decided he'd had enough of his crap and took him down with a single kick to the head.
- Groin of mook with knives on his ankles vs. Batman's extendable groin-punching device. Flawless victory!
- Bob seems ready to jump into the fray armed with a machete after his comrades have failed and Batman (with a wicked smirk) beckons him over. Que Bob dropping the weapon and running for all he's worth.
- In the bell-tower, one thug tries pouncing on Batman, only to fall short and have the floorboards give out beneath him. Batman didn't even seem to notice him until he heard his scream and the crash.
- Vicki pretending to give into the Joker's seduction to distract him. The Joker, instead of delighted, seems utterly baffled by her sudden change.
- Some alternate takes of Vicki macking on the Joker's suit show her pulling some purple lint off her tongue with a grossed-out look on her face.
- As the sequence ends she descends lower and lower on Joker's suit until she goes offscreen. Judging by Joker's dazed, incredulous, expression, it's almost like she's about to give him a blowjob.
- "You IDIOT!!"
- In the Black and White comics, there is a short story set in World War II era Gotham. Batman catches Catwoman stealing diamonds and is highly doubtful when she claims her victim is a Nazi spy. They stake out the man for a while out of mutual stubbornness.
Batman: I haven't seen anything to prove that claim is true—
Victim: *saluting his colleagues* Heil Hitler!
- The Comically Serious: Batman is always so serious, it is INCREDIBLY easy to make anything funny by having him do it in a dramatic manner. It's so true that the comically serious page has him as the trope image.
- Someone had the bright idea to combine Batman with Metalocalypse. Batmetal!
- Much of the banter between Nightwing and Oracle belong either here, or under Crowning Moment Of Heart Warming.
- This exchange between Dick Grayson and Jim Gordon, in Scott Snyder's Black Mirror, in which Dick is Batman:
Dick: Call me Dick, please. You drove me to my high school prom.
Jim: Actually, I drove my daughter to her high school prom. You just happened to be in the car.
- And it becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when Jim hints that he knows Dick is Batman, meaning that he must have realized that his daughter had went to prom with Batman.
- Scott Snyder's The Court of Owls arc begins with Batman breaking the Joker out of Arkham. The next few pages proceed to show Joker fighting alongside Batman as Back-to-Back Badasses, and then Joker in the cave, exclaiming that Bruce really does practice brooding. No context is given until halfway through the issue, when it's revealed that the "Joker" is actually just Dick Grayson in disguise. This exchange then follows:
Dick: For what it's worth, how'd I do with him?
Bruce: Are you asking me if you convincing as a homicidal maniac, Dick?
Dick: I suppose I am.
Bruce: Then yes, as a matter of fact, you were.
- In the comics, the Riddler at one point went straight and hired his services out as a celebrity private detective, provoking numerous tense encounters with Batman as their paths crossed on various cases. At one point, this necessitated Batman giving the Riddler a ride in the Batmobile, prompting this exchange:
The Riddler: So... nice car. First time I've been inside it conscious.
Batman: Don't touch anything.
- Batman and Robin Annual #1 was just a feel-good fun story all around, but Alfred is absolutely hilarious. Case in point, the last few lines of the comic:
Bruce: Alfred, shouldn't you return the costume?
Alfred: [wearing a garish Renaissance outfit] Master Bruce, kindly shut up.
Bruce: Yes sir.
- From Tom King's run on the series: "Kite Man! Hell yeah!"
Sometimes the wain comes down so hawrd you fowrget you've ever been dwy.
- Issue #28 of Batman Rebirth has this conversation between Selina and Bruce in the middle of the War of Jokes and Riddles:
Batman: Why haven't you taken a side?
Catwoman: I'm not like them. They're criminals.
Batman: You're currently breaking into a safe that's not yours.
Catwoman: You know what I mean. I'm not like them. They're unsuccessful criminals.
Batman: Do I need to worry about you?
Catwoman: (amused) Are you checking up on me, Bat? Are you trying to protect me?
Batman: No. No one needs to protect you.
Catwoman: Oh. Well then, yes. You very much have to worry about me.
Bruce: (In the present) Afterward, I slept. When I woke, you were gone. With the diamonds.
Selina: OK, yes. But in my defense, I did warn you. I'm not exactly unsuccessful.