Enigma is, as usual, insufferable, but he's more sarcastic than outright mad in this game.
"Oh, boy! You sure showed that grate who's in charge!"
"Another day, another door. They're just no match for you."
The Extortion Tapes for The Joker.
Mobster: Uh... boss?
"Black Mask": Huh? ...Oh, right, that's me!
At the beginning of the game, Batman goes to Blackgate Prison to attempt to thwart a prison break. Once there, he finds a bunch of Black Mask's thugs who have Vicki Vale and her cameraman locked in a cell. Naturally, they're surprised to see Batman.
Vicki: Are we safe in here?
Cameraman: Relax. I heard on the news that he only hurts criminals.
Goon A: The way I see it, Black Mask let us out, so we owe him one. Let's clear this place of guards so he can make a clean escape.
Batman: *drops in and begins to take them down*
Goon B: I didn't sign on for getting my ass kicked!
Goon C: Hey! Let us back in our cells!
Goon D: Where's your Christmas spirit!?
Alfred, as usual, providing his usual brand of snark.
When hearing about the assassins:
Batman: I just heard from a... human-sized... crocodile that Black Mask hired assassins to kill me. Alfred: Assassins? As in more than one? ...And you heard this from a crocodile man? Batman: His name is Killer Croc. And he's already behind bars. Alfred:I pity his cellmate. Batman: I don't.
There's also Batman's tone when explaining about Killer Croc. He's so exhausted of this.
Alfred gives his opinion on some of the assassins, too.
Batman: Garfield Lynns, a.k.a Firefly. His obsession will be his end. Alfred:How unlikeanyone I know. Batman: Street tough named Lester Buchinsky. Calls himself "Electrocutioner". Alfred: Shocking.
As Batman swoops off to prevent an arms deal from taking place:
Alfred: I hope you'll try to keep a low profile tonight, sir. Batman: Trust me, I'll take out those assassins before they even know I'm there. Alfred: It's not just that... if some curious child looks out to see who's pattering across their rooftop, they'll expect Santa Claus, not a black-clad bat creature. Batman:I don't patter. Alfred: *Exasperated sigh*
Batman's attempt at saving hostages early on in the game causes not only the kidnappers to be afraid, but some of the hostages as well.
The fight against Electrocutioner. He got his own trailer and news articles about him being confirmed, then in-game he comes into the arena, taunting Batman about how easily he will kill him, never once attacks him... only to be knocked out by a single flying kick to the face in front of his shocked audience.note When he returns to the Batcave, Batman mentions that a child could have avoided that move.
Especially if you remember that, in a similar instance, that the previous games practically beat that fact that you can't outright punch regular goons wielding electric batons into you, so you spent some time wondering how you're gonna get around his electric gloves.
Goons in general have a pretty humorous reaction to finding out that Batman is real.
"Craaaaaap! The Bat's coming for us!" (whimpering) "I hate you!"
The Joker blowing up a construction site.
Batman: How many lives did you just take!?
Joker: None! ...I think.
Even funnier is the Joker's conversation before this:
Joker: You see, it's a tradition in my house to open one present on Christmas Eve... let's see... how about... this one? [detonates said construction site, then laughs evilly and sings a bit of "The 12 Days of Christmas"] And a partridge in a pear treeee!
Although Mad Hatter is, as ever, surprisingly terrifying, one conversation as he tries to test out his Mind-Control Device is hilarious.
Hatter: Everything needs to be perfect. Criminal: Of course. Hatter: Of course, sir. You must refer to me as sir at all times. Do you understand? Criminal: Yes. Hatter:Yes, what?! Criminal:Yes, I understand. Hatter: "Yes, I understand, sir." Criminal: Yes. Hatter: No, sir. Criminal: Of course.
Even before that, you're introduced to the Hatter when you emerge from the sewers and run into three thugs in rabbit masks, who sing an invitation to the tune of "London Bridge is Falling Down" while dancing the Robot.
A most wanted mission you can take after finishing the main story is hunting down escaped Blackgate Prisoners for Gordon. The exchange with one such prisoner before Batman punches his lights out is as follows.
After Batman ends the prisoner riot started by Branden's men as a means of killing Gordon, you can talk to one of the cops who survived it, whom initially assumes Batman was responsible.
Cop: I don't get it... You let 'em out just to beat 'em up. Batman: I didn't start the riot, it was Branden and his SWAT officers. Cop: Bull. A cop wouldn't do something like this. Batman: You must be new here.
Criminal A: Oh man, I can't wait. I'm going straight to O'Kane's, havin' a pint. Criminal B: What's it been for you man, eight years? Criminal A: Twelve. Criminal B: And what they put you in for? Criminal A: Drinkin' and drivin'. Criminal C: Ha, an' you're gonna go have a pint? Criminal A: What are you, the damn parole board? I ain't rehabilitated, and I'm really thirsty. Criminal C: Whatever, just don't drive. You could kill someone. Criminal A: Yeah yeah, don't worry. What are you in for, anyway? Criminal C (matter-of-fact):Manslaughter.
During the final encounter with the Joker, letting him speak leads to this gem.
If you take long enough when taking out Joker's thugs in the Gotham Merchant's Bank, Joker goes from irritated that Batman's still alive, to gleeful that Batman's deliberately dragging out his dispatching of the goons and making it a performance.
Joker: Well, sounds like I can cross "hear a grown man cry" off my Christmas list. Thanks, fellas!
Post-game, you can find mooks who'd defected from Penguin's squad deciding to just act as if they'd never defected since no-one could prove it in the midst of all the craziness of the night.
There's a conversation between mooks discussing Batman's priorities when it comes to targeting the criminals of Gotham. After reaching the conclusion that Batman should prioritize and take out the likes of Penguin and Black Mask over the nameless thugs, one thug randomly yells out "Y'HEAR THAT, BAT? PRIORITIZE!" and is immediately admonished for doing so since the Bat might be listening. He then counters that it's unlikely that's the case.
During the Firefly battle, Batman can throw his glue grenade at him.
In an optional Easter Egg, Bruce can partake in a series of discussions with Alfred about an unusually large and abnormally clever green-eyed bat living in the caverns (hinted to possibly be a former test subject of Kirk Langstrom's). At first disgusted by and fearful of "King Bat", particularly after it makes off with an entire roast chicken, Alfred eventually develops a rapport with him, and forbids Bruce from trying to apprehend the creature.
When Branden and his SWAT team arrive to arrest the Joker after Batman saves him from imminent death:
Branden: Don't move, freak! Joker:[to Batman] I think he's talking to you.
Scaring the hell out of mooks in the predator rooms is always fun but one of the best is when Bane's thugs are the victims. When Batman takes one down, the others are quick to berate him for his failure:
Bane Henchman: This is an example of WHAT NOT TO DO!
They also get increasingly annoyed by the Joker's taunting to the point where they loudly yell for him to shut up... of course he ignores it.
Joker: Any of you boys up for some Christmas Carols? ...anyone? Just me?
In the Cold, Cold Heart DLC, some of Penguin's goons decide to raid Wayne Manor's wine cellar while they've got the opportunity.
Thug #1: Will you stop flirting with our hostage? She's using you to get information!
Thug #2: Yeah, I know, but...It's Vicki Vale, man!
Continuing the theme of Gotham City's petty criminals having very poor taste, one of the thugs insists that the Waynes' collection of rare Imperial Chinese artifacts are worthless, due to the books being so old, they're almost falling apart. The jade statue, on the other hand? That's buying him some new rims.
The Burnley comms tower is infamous due to the glitched air vent (it's been patched). When you get close to Burnley, which has been closed off from the rest of the city by ice, you can see that the tower has been damaged by the ice so badly that it's fallen over.
After being frozen in a wall of ice by Mr. Freeze, Penguin sends you out to retrieve a cryodrill to release him. When you return, several of Penguin's men are already chipping away at the ice, and he is not happy about how long it's taking.
Penguin: Do you know the first thing I'm going to do when I get out of here? I'm going to have Candy draw me a nice, hot bath... AND THEN I'M GOING TO DROWN YOU IN IT!!!