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Funny: Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
  • Alfred and Bruce in the Wayne Infirmary:
    Alfred: "If it's suicide you're after, Master Bruce...I have the recipe for an old family potion, It's slow in working, and quite painful. You'd like it."
    • And later in the same scene.
    Alfred: "You know, sir, that there is precedent for wheelchair detectives..."
    Bruce: "Shut up, Alfred."
  • Batman takes a phone call, and obviously plans to jump back into action immediately. An exasperated Alfred is seen pulling the Batsuit out of the washing machine.
    Alfred: (grumbles) "He'll just have to wear it wet...."
  • "Property damage. Automotive." (A voice command to the reprogrammed Batcopter to fire a missile at a car)
  • Batman leaves Carrie in the batcopter and specifically tells her not to touch the controls, or she's fired. She does anyway, reprogramming the voice controls to use cooler commands. Afterwards:
    Carrie: I'm not fired?
    Batman: *grins* You're not fired.
  • For his final fight with Superman, Bats leaves Carrie to drive the Batmobile. When Supes rips it open, there she is, aiming her slingshot at him.
    Superman: Isn't this a school night?
  • "Rubber bullets. Honest."
  • From the animated movie, this Joker line. Doubly so if you think he was serious and wasn't joking.
    Psychiatrician: He's a victim of Batman's psychotic obsession.
    Joker: (looks confused) ...I thought I was Batman's psychotic obsession.
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alternative title(s): The Dark Knight Returns
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