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A team of amateur mercenaries collected from across the 69 Worlds for the sole purpose of finding all of the items on Nintendoki's list. Along the way, the team is sually tasked with righting the wrongs set in place by Doosh, as well as coming to terms with their own personal conflicts...all of which is done in a wacky and humorous fashion, of course.
A princess from an unknown world, Luna was forced to become a member of Smoosh after encountering the group in Japan since Nintendoki wanted her socks (since they can't be removed, she was given the choice of either joining them or having her feet amputated). Despite this, Luna quickly became friends with the other Smoosh members and became a willing member of the team. Much of Luna's past is shrouded in mystery, causing most of the details of her life before meeting Smoosh to be used as plot twists in the story.
A blue blob hailing from the "Planet of Blobs", Mortal can expand to hold anything in his body. He keeps around a Mallet, and has a infinite amount of them. Probably the only member of Smoosh who hasn't shown any romantic interest, but explainable because he's a, you know, blob. He's also began getting character development along with everybody else. In Chapter V, he has recently adopted evil-now-good parts of a Cotton Monster as a pet.
Eddie Cohen Created by ???
Eddie is a vampire from the world "Forkslyvania". He originally was a parody of Edward Cullen
, but has had some fleshed-out character development recently. A lot of his background involves his love interest, Sarah. He also has a super-powered alter-ego named Edmund, who was developed when Sola killed Luna
. He used to be the weakest of Smoosh, but Mortal took up that role when he joined, and recently Rustynuts took that role...forever.
Eddie's split personality. A sadistic, bloodthirsty creature conjured up whenever Eddie is under a sufficient amount of stress or if he smells. blood. While the exact cause of Edmund's existance is unknown, it is clear that he is a reflection of something deeply wrong with Eddie on a psychological level.
Sarah Belfry Created by ???
Sarah is a vampire slayer from the world of Forksylvania
, where she became the leader of La Résistance
as the humans of that world began to lose a civil war against vampires. Despie this, she briefly had a relationship with Eddie, until he ran off out of fear of being caught in the middle of the two warring factions, causing her to feel abandoned and swear revenge on him. For now, the two have formed a temporary truce, but sparks aren't exactly flying whenever they interact.
Dr. Ein Theodore Kelpforest Created by Vampyric
A formerly retired surgeon and resident badass, Ein is one of Smoosh's oldest members (both because he was one of the first people to join Smoosh and...well, 'cause he's old). Using his pet hand-puppet, Chompy, in battle, Ein is considered to be a strong member, with the only things hindering him being old age, and the fact that Mortal
sorta hates him.
A living handpuppet resembling a pair of dentures. He is technically Ein's primary weapon, but the doctor seems to treat him more like a surrogate son.
Baron Washington Wafflesworth Jr., Sr., Jr., MXVII Created by Rhadamanthus
A classy British gent, Washington has dedicalted his life to the study of alchemy. During an experiment as a child, Washington accidentally ended up transforming himself into a penguin. However, upon learning that penguins are actually a source of potent alchemical power, he decided to stay that way. Washington tends to act as the straight man to some of Smoosh's crazier antics, but has a definite mean streak when pushed too far. Oh, and he's very fond of Nico.
Washington's pet and companion, a talking banana slug. A graduate from Oxford with a tragic past, Spoony became loyal to Washington after encountering him in the Kingdom of the Smelly Grapefruit.
Sir Rustynuts created by Rhadamanthus
Once a brave and powerful knight, Rustynuts was once the protector of a majestic kingdom until he died of old age. After being brought back to life (albeit in a much weaker zombified state) he discovered that during his absence the kingdom had descended into becoming a total Crapsack World
. Longing for a purpose in his afterlife, he signed up for Smoosh. He also has an elderly steed named Bonecrusher, although he isn't seen very often.
Rustynuts's steed, an elderly unicorn. Years of being forced to accompany Rustynuts on adventures has caused Bonecrusher to have a rather bleak demeanor, and the only real happiness he feels nowadays is the sadistic glee of watching Rusty make a fool of himself. Capable of running up to 2 hpm (that's right, hours per mile...)
Jack The Chameleon created by Sega Serv
An anthropomorphic chameleon and former general in the Orange Star Army
. Jack enlisted in the military to gollow in the footsteps of his mother, a test pilot for fighter planes who was killed in an accident during a test flight. Jack is one of the more formidable members of Smoosh, due to the fact that he is armed to the teeth (do chameleons have teeth?) with firearms of all shapes and sizes, and because he is capable of summoning his army troops when in a pinch.
Lori Helenski Fox created by Sega Serv
Lori is a walking talking fox, who has been through 20 jobs before joining Smoosh. While normally a rather happy-go-lucky girl, her extremely short temper causes her to blow her stack on several occasions. She also had a Servbot
, named Ben, who has the ability to transform into a variety of different machines.
- A Female Fox And Her Robot
- The Ace: Female example. No ordinary person could possibly be capable of performing as many jobs as her.
- Broken Ace: Turns out she only took all those jobs to live up to the expectations of her perfectionist family, and having 21 different careers is just as stressful as it sounds.
- Ace Pilot: Well she did take a job as a fighter pilot, right? Also, she rides Ben as a mecha.
- Action Girl
- BFG: She has a freaking laser gun on her back, seriously!
- Catsuit: But it's more of a dress then a full suit.
- Chekhov's Skill: Some of her experience in certain jobs has proven to be useful.
- Combat Stilettos
- Cyberpunk Is Techno: Lori's choice of music, liking Daft Punk and Vangelis.
- Gamer Chick
- Hair-Trigger Temper
- Informed Ability: Most of her previous jobs, though there is the occasional Chekhov's Skill.
- It Runs in the Family: Her whole family has done multiple jobs, including her siblings.
- Les Yay: With Nico.
- Lightning Can Do Anything: According to Lori, she and the other members of her family learn new skills by being struck by lightning.
- Non-Mammal Mammaries: Well, she's technically a mammal, but not the kind that's normally so... well endowed.
- Parody Sue: Not just her, but her entire family. Though, like Ace, there was some dispute over the "Parody" part.
- Rescued from the Scrappy Heap: Since being called out on her Mary Sue traits, the player who created her has been taking advice on how to make her more likable.
- Platonic Life Partners: With Jack.
- Pop-Cultured Badass: See Jack's entry above.
- Small Girl, Big Gun: Her main weapon, the BFG.
- Species Surname
- Transplant: Lori's was originally a character in a previous Play-by-Post Game entitled Ultra Knuckles: Extra Shiny RP Edition, before it became an Orphaned Series.
- Trigger Happy
- Twofer Token Minority: Japanese and Russian
- Weaksauce Weakness: She claims that if she were to ever lose her Skunk Stripe, all of her abilities would be lost as well.
- Why Do You Keep Changing Jobs?: She's had a total of 21 different occupations.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Afraid of scorpions.
Lori's robot sidekick. Ben was the 42nd Servbot created by Tron Bonne
, and, while shown to be highly skilled, was intended to be scrapped by Bonne for being "defective" (read: an annoying pervert). Lori saved him from being turned to scrap metal and the rest is history.
Frost created by Frost Overlord/Happy Cat
Frost is a warrior, from who-knows-where. He used to be a deity, and at one point was as strong as Nintendoki. However, he was tricked into losing most of his powers upon joining Smoosh, causing him to have a sort of one-sided rivalry towards Nintendoki. He has a army of exploding penguins at his disposal, which follow him loyally. He also created a universe called "Infinite Trophy Case", which is the setting of chapter V.
Frost's army of penguin servants.
Nico is a Firefox
, a species of interdimesional nomads, as well as the last of her pack after Doosh killed the others. Since then, Nico has joined Smoosh so they can help her get her revenge on Doosh. Her personality is a bit unstable, but she's still one of the nicer members of Smoosh.
Captain Wafflemallow Lupez
A talking dog and captain of the Candy Pirates, Lupez was the self-proclaimed scourge of the 69 Worlds before running into Smoosh. After having his ship hijacked by the heroes, Lupez decides to team up with them for now, but mostly just because he wants to get into Luna's pants.
A robotic girl that was once an orgainic lifeform (probably human, though even she's not sure) until she was transferred into the body of an android. Not much is known about her past, as the memory files stored on her computerized brain were corrupted by a computer virus.
- Action Girl
- Laser-Guided Amnesia: Although this is possibly a justified trope, as having a computerized brain that had its memory files corrupted by a virus seems more plausible than the usual "coconut-to-the-head" form of amnesia.
- Neutral Good
- Pointy Ears
- Robot Girl: Subverted, sort of. While the standard Robot Girl Trope applies to a female robot designed to look extraordinarily attractive, Nightglide's appearance also shows aspects of being designed to look intimidating (though she isn't necessarily bad-looking, there just isn't much emphasis on the "beauty")
- Robo Cam
- Robo Speak
- Swiss Army Appendage: All four of them, actually.
Rose created by Frost Overlord/Happy Cat
One of the Four Overlords along with Frost, Rose was sent to Smoosh to prevent the team's careless actions from causing any more collateral damage. Unlike Frost, Rose still appears to have access to the full potential of her godly powers, but she has been forbidden to use them while participating in the quest to avoid any mishaps.
Carlos the MAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIICAAAAAAAAAAAAL PEEEEEEEEEEENCIIIIIIIIIIIIIL created by Vampyric
Carlos is a Magical Pencil
accidentally created one day in a factory after a mishap involving an overworked-and-underpaid wizard. As a living writing utensil infused with magic, carlos has the ability to change anything he draws into a real-life object.
A Totally Radical
teenager who joined the quest after hearing about it from friends. Brought along his dog Buster, too.
Important NP Cs
"Allies" encountered by Smoosh during their many (mis)adventures.
The lazy, arrogant deity who first created the team known as Smoosh to collect all the items on his wishlist. Nintendoki reclines in his own private universe and only shows up on occasion to yell at Smoosh for not finding the items on his list fast enough. It kinda makes you wonder why the members of Smoosh still want to work for him...
- Angst Nuke
- Bad Boss
- Big Bad: Although he's technically the leader of the heroes, he's almost as antagonistic towards them as Segami, if not more so.
- Black and Grey Morality: Segami might be evil, but Nintendoki isn't that much of a nice guy either, seeing as he's willing to order his minions to destroy entire kingdoms just to get what he wants.
- Evil Versus Evil: One could argue that this is what his conflict with Segami boils down to.
- Berserk Button: Losing at video games.
- The Caligula
- The Gods Must Be Lazy: He could easily collect all the items on his list himself if he could just get off his lazy ass and show some initiative.
- I Have Many Names: Master of the Dimension of Q, 2nd Best D-League Yu-Gi-Oh player, Queen of the Male Girls, Conqueror of Klondike, Fuhrer of the Fourth Reich, Co-Founder of Playguy, and Dealer of the Purple Cards.
- Jerkass Gods
- Kick the Dog: Refusing to help his underlings escape from Hell until they have found one of the items on his list, blowing up planets just to create a shortcut, ordering Smoosh to cut off Luna's feet just so he can get her socks...
- Large Ham: "BOW BEFORE ME, PUNY MORTALS!"
- Mission Control: via his communication device, the "Nintendoki DS"
- Obfuscating Stupidity: While most of the time he acts like a pompous blowhard, he has shown to be very cunning on a few occasions.
- Pet the Dog: When interacting with Mari and Queeny, he is noticably more respectful and polite, though not quite enough to take him out of Jerk Ass territory.
- Shout Out: To Nintendo, obviously
- Ted Baxter: As Washington puts it, Nintendoki is about 0.1% divine power and 99.9% hot air.
- You Cannot Grasp the True Form: His appearance is censored for being "too epic for mere mortals to comprehend"...that is, until he finally reveals himself.
- What Could Have Been: Nintendoki was originally going to be a delusioned man who thought he was a god, but snow decided it would be funnier if he was an actual god.
The real-life video game creator Shigeru Miyamoto is present in the Insane Quest as a godlike being who shows up at unexpected times to assist the heroes. His abilities appear to be on par with those of Nintendoki, the only difference being that Miyamoto actually puts his powers to good use.
An Awesome Smiley
with a pair of long, feminine legs, Hoar is Nintendoki's personal secretary and pilot of the S.S. Bazooka. Due to her annoying and controlling personality, Smosh decided to ditch her in favor of Luna and the S.S. Appa.
The S.S. Appa
The personal ship and headquarters of Smoosh, the S.S. Appa is a living, biomechanical ship created by fusing Appa the Flying Bison
with Lupez's ship, the Kreamkken.
native to the Kingdom Of Smelly Grapefruit. Wyu first met Smoosh in Chapter II, in which they assisted him in liberate his fellow ninjas from a gang of pirates pirates who were invading his kingdom. At the end of the chapter, Wyu revealed that he was actually a Sharkhorn Dragon in disguise, and offered one of his scales to Smoosh as a sign of gratitude.
He is now allied with Master Meowmellow Zepul and the Drunken Ninjas, but due to the fact that he feels he still owes a debt to Smoosh, he allows the group to escape during their initial confrontation.
A small, lizard-like creature who, as his name implies, appears at random times to try and make himself part of the story. This is usually followed by an Author Avatar
of Snow appearing to remove Random WTF from the story. This has happened several times, and yet he still just keeps coming back...
The infamous rum-drinking pirate himself. As an experienced traveller, Sparrow usually serves as a Mentor
to Smoosh, providing them with information on the 69 Worlds, but is otherwise doesn't really contribute much to Smoosh's quest. For some strange reason, Sparrow seems to have developed a strange fascination with Mortal, and has attempted to kidnap him repeatedly.
The Hero of Time, defender of Hyrule, bearer of the Triforce of Courage, etc. Link's appearances in The Insane Quest are few and far between, but when he shows up it usually means something big is about to go down. Apparently, 2,000 years ago, Link was tasked by Zelda to protect the Ravenheart family from harm, which likely explains how Luna obtained the Master Sword.
The notorious member of the United Assassins Assosiation. When Travis is first encountered by Smoosh, it is revealed that the assassin is currently training with Miyamoto, who intends to prepare him for his ranked assassin matches that have been sabotaged by Doosh. For reasons currently unknown, Travis ans his hometown of Santa Destroy were targeted by Doosh, and despite Smoosh's best efforts, much of the city was destroyed as a result. Travis was last seen at the end of Chapter III, but Word of God
has assured us that this won't be his last appearance.
Washington's mother, a caring woman who was accidentally transformed into an anthropomorphic porpoise. Smoosh is sent by Nintendoki to Washington's home in Manorspace to retrieve her as an item on his list.
Washington's father, a chemist who was transformed into a floating, tentacled eyeball after ingesting a mysterious substance known as "phlebotinum"
Andre and Rios
Two guys who were transformed into evil penguins by Hoar. They had originally signed up to join Smoosh at the same time as the others at the beginning of the RP, but a series of unlucky events caused them to be forgotten and stranded in Japan.
An amnesiac stuffed animal who's been lost in the corridors of Wafflesworth Manor for years. He may or may not be an old friend of Luna's who was previously presumed dead.
The equal and opposite to Smoosh. With the exception of Sola, who turns out to be Luna's cousin
, all of the members of Doosh were Dopplegangers of Smoosh created by Segami in order to inflict as much chaos and destruction into the universe as possible. The team mainly consists of the Bizarro World
clones of Smoosh's members, though there have been some exceptions to this rule.
Tropes that apply to more than one member of Doosh:
- Artificial Human/Bear/Werewolf/Iguana/Whatever: They are described as being Dopplegangers, beings made of "living data" created using HAX
- Balance Between Good and Evil: Unintentional, but since Dopplegangers are forced to have traits that contrast those of the "Original", that means they also have the opposite alignment. If an Original becomes evil, his or her Doppleganger will become good, and vise-versa.
- Bizarro World: The main gimmick behind each Doosh member is that they are the complete opposite of their Smoosh counterpart in nearly every way.
- Character Development: An unintentional side effect of their creation, Dopplegangers start out simply having a personality that contrasts the Original's in every way, but eventually they may begin to develop other traits, even those that are similar to the Original's (though it's said to be rare for this to happen)
- Cloning Blues: Implied, though not explicitly stated to be an issue for Dopplegangers.
- Distaff Counterpart / Opposite-Sex Clone: Some of the Doosh members are the opposite gender of their Smoosh counterparts, such as Ember (Frost), Nie (Ein), and Shi (Jack)
- Evil Twin / Evil Counterpart
- The Psycho Rangers
- Sdrawkcab Name: Many of the Doosh members' names are simply the names of the Smoosh members spelt backwards, such as Eca (Ace), Latrom (Mortal), Nie (Ein), and Eidde (Eddie).
- Synchronization: A sort of one-sided example. If a member of Smoosh dies, there Doosh counterpart ceases to exist. The Smooshers, however, seem to be able to kill the Doosh members without suffering any ill effects.
The leader of Doosh and Segami's second-in-command. Sola is the counterpart to Luna Ravenheart, and in one of Luna's flashbacks we learn she is also Luna's cousin.
In contrast to Luna's kindness and caring demeanor, Sola is a cold-blooded killer who is seemingly incaable of remorse. Her true intentions are as-of-yet unknown.
The Doosh counterpart of Ace Sotoru. Eca is an antisocial, diabolical mastermind.
Mortal's Doosh counterpart. so far he has yet to be seen and has only been referred to, so not much is known about him.
The Doosh counterpart of Eddie Cohen. Eidde is a dumb brute of a werewolf who wields a weapon known as the "Sword Sword".
Dr. Nie Algaewood
A young, attractive japanese nurse and the Doosh counterpart to Ein. In contrast to Ein, Nie is well-mannered and perfectly sane.
A miniature blue polar bear and patriotic American, Jefferson is the Doosh counterpart to Washington.
Shi the Iguana
Jack's Doosh counterpart. A female terrorist armed with homemade explosives.
The Queen of Order, Ember is a logical, intelligent young woman and the Doosh counterpart of Frost. As her name implies, she posesses pyrokinesis to contrast Frost's cryokinetic powers.
The newest addition to Doosh, introduced in Chapter V. The Cat's reasons for joining Doosh are uncertain, although he appears to be convinced that Smoosh are nothing more than vile underlings of the "evil" god Nintendoki and must be punished accordingly. Since his debut as a boss character in Chapter V, it's hard to say whether or not he'll ever be seen again.
The Original Smoosh
The first team of mercenaries assembled by Nintendoki, two thousand years prior to the "current" Smoosh. Not much is known about them at this point, except that, like the current Smoosh, they were tasked with collecting a list of items for Nintendoki, and were somehow banished to another dimension after pillaging Luna's home world in search of the last item on said list: the Miracle Thread.
A mysterious gunman last seen searching for the final item on Nintendoki's list. He battles Link in Luna's flashback, right before the castle they are inside of comes crashing down around them.
- Big Damn Heroes: Subverted in Luna's flashback. Right when Sola is about to begin torturing Luna, Dolphin jumps in, only to threaten to kill them both unless they tell him where to find the Miracle Thread. It then becomes double subverted when Link shows up to stop him.
- The Dragon: He'll probably end up filling this role for Nintendoki
- The Gunslinger
- Non-Indicative Name: As far as we can tell, he has nothing to do with aquatic mammals of any kind.
- Weapon of Choice: A magnum decorated with dragon patterns.
- Hand Cannon: Apparently, it is capable of blasting a sizeable hole in a stone wall.
A strange girl trapped in the same dimension as her former teammate, Queeny. Seems to enjoy hitting the bong quite a bit.
Another member of the Original Smoosh forced to spend an eternity with Mari.
Other miscellaneous villains and antagonists Smoosh has run into.
The evil deity and arch-rival of Nintendoki, Segami is the primary antagonist in the Insane Quest. In the same fashion that Nintendoki created Smoosh to do his bidding, Segami created Doosh to oppose the heroes.
The octopus-like monster encountered by Smoosh during their stay in Japan. Chibi was a pet owned by the pimp known as Big Mac until he was slain by the heroes. Later, Smoosh ran into Chibi again in Hell, only now as a zombie.
The real-life CEO of Activision
, The Insane Quest portrays Kotick as a greedy, money-obsessed tyrant (which isn't too far off the mark, actually), as well as the devil himself.
After fighting Smoosh, he was reduced to his true form, a Gollum-like creature, and presumed dead. He was also seen in Luna's flashback.
The former ruler of the Underworld before it was taken over by Bobby Kotick
and renamed Hell. Hades is portayed in the Insane Quest as his Disney
- Crack Pairing: With Hoar
- Crowning Moment of Funny: "Welcome to Hell, Fuckers!"
- The Dragon: To Kotick, albeit grudgingly.
- Dragon Ascendant: After Kotick isd out of the picture, Hades takes over Hell and changes its name back to the Underworld.
- Unfortunately, his reign doesn't last very long, as he's brutally curbstomped by Pincus two chapters later.
- Everybody Hates Hades: Subverted. Sure, he's a total Jerk Ass, but he's actually the lesser of two evils, and after he takes over
Hell The Underworld it is implied that he intends to make it a much more bearable place.
- Everything's Better with Rainbows: He certainly seems to think so.
- Hijacked by Jesus: Analysed- When the polytheistic Greek and Roman religions were abolished in favour of Christianity, Hades ended up being demoted from god of the Underworld to a subordinate of the devil, much to his chagrin.
- The Starscream: He turns on Kotick and helps Smoosh defeat him.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: He was a Jerk Ass in the disney movie to begin with, but the Insane Quest manages to take it Up to Eleven.
- Wild Card
Master Meowmellow Zepul
A talking cat and master of the Drunken Ninjas, Zepul is the arch-rival of Lupez. An expert in the art of "kitjutsu", Zepul and his Ninjas travel the 69 Worlds in a flying temple.
Cotton Monster A.K.A. Cotton Buddy
A monster that attacked our heroes in Chapter V. Nitendoki defeated it when his Berserk Button
got pushed. However, one cotton ball survived and befriended Mortal, with Mortal renaming it Cotton Buddy.
The founder of game company Zynga and the newest ruler of Hell
. Pincus's original plan was to rise to power by taking out Kotick, only to discover that Smoosh and Hades have beaten him to it. This doesn't phase him, though, as he just gets rid of Hades instead.
Washington's twin brother, a brutish thug and black market sock salesman with a gangster motif. He was hired by Nintendoki to retrieve Luna's socks.
Player characters who have been Put On A Bus because their players left the RP.
Ace Sotoru Created by Finalhazard
Ace is a long-running member of Smoosh. He started like everybody else: not serious. But, he's been as badass as everybody else. Hailing from the planet who-knows-where, Ace had fire powers. Ace has been known to be Put on a Bus
repeatedly, and after the return from his last hiatus he became a cyborg ninja after a run-in with a Mad Scientist
. Ace also is probably the member with the most romantic interest with Luna.
Omni Bro created by Fire Bro
Omni is a member of the Koopa Troop from the Super Mario Bros.
universe. Unlike most other "Bros", Omni preferred not to specialize in one form of combat and instead became a jack-of-all-trades, causing the other Bros to make fun of him. Sue to his gold shell color, Omni also ends up getting robbed a lot by people who suspect him to be wealthy.
An English-speaking Pikachu
and a grizzled war vet, Pika was a short-lived member of Smoosh before his mysterious disappearance (aka Player inactivity). Pika has seen many a bloody battle, and is always willing to help the other Smoosh members with his combat experience.
A laid-back hippie whom Smoosh met in Chapter IV. Greaves is a psychic, but his powers come with a twist: he can see into the future, but only when he's stoned. This has driven Orlando into becoming a drug-crazed hippie of sorts, but he's still a fountain of wisdom for the other characters to listen to.
Zel of the Whites Leaves
Zel is a Ninja
who assisted Smoosh during Chapter 4. His stay as a member of Smoosh was brief, so not much is known about his personality, except that he is an energetic, optimistic ninja who is esager to show off his abilities.
recent addition to Smoosh, as well as the least active. Not much is known about Sendiel, but he appears to be hyperactive, spontaneous, and impulsive. He has now officially been Put on a Bus
due to inactivity.