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Trust me, those goggles aren't going to help you now.
"What? Oh, those are pouches?! I thought they were wearing ballet skirts. I guess whatever they need to take with them into combat they need to take a whole lot of it in single-serving sizes."
"What is the purpose of the goggles?"
An accessory characters never actually use but is noticeable enough they must consciously choose to wear it.
For example, a Discredited Trope from the Dark Age of American comic books was superhero costumes featuring a large number of pouch-covered belts and harnesses - which never actually seemed to be used.
The quote comes from The Simpsons episode "Radioactive Man", where Rainier Wolfcastle is filming the movie Radioactive Man. During the filming, a large pool of real acid is used and because of this the director tells everyone to wear safety goggles. Of course, an accident happens and the acid completely submerges Wolfcastle, leading him to lament the famous line, "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!". The phrase has transformed; it now describes situations where you need something that really blocks your eyes.
Unused articles such as this often make up the Rummage Sale Reject. Goggles are popular, because they look cool. If you can actually get something out of them besides protection, then it's probably because your Goggles Do Something Unusual.
Examples:
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Anime and Manga
- During the Hades arc of Angel Sanctuary, Katou wears goggles around his neck for no good reason, other than Rule Of Cool.
- Parodied in Bobobobo Bobobo. Bubble-uba, a minor villain, wears three pairs of goggles on his forehead, and has an extra-large pair wrapped around his waist.
- Ed of Cowboy Bebop wears a pair of green-tinted goggles throughout the series. They are both stylish, and assist in her duties as the resident hacker.
- In Digimon, it borders on a Running Gag that the lead character always wears goggles. It started with Taichi ("Tai") (Adventure), then Daisuke ("Davis") actually started wearing Taichi's original goggles (Adventure 02), then Takato wears them because he watched a different version of Digimon on television (Tamers). Then there's Takuya (Frontier), Tsurugi (Next), Hikaru (D-Cyber), and another guy named Taichi (V-Tamer 01).
- Davis/Daisuke's Image Song is actually called "Goggle Boy," and he has an audio drama track called "Goggles."
- In several instances the characters do actually use them. The problem is that nobody else seems to ever be bothered by whatever condition prompts the current goggle boy to wear them.
- Untrue in Tamers, where the Power Trio all had eye protection in the digital fields (the non-goggleheads had sunglasses.)
- Well, except for Masaru. But that's probably because he's too manly for them.
- Izumi from Kujibiki Unbalance.
- Yuuno's side-pouch in Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, which we never see him use. Some
 Fan Web Comics (Omake (?)) have made speculations on what he places in there◊.
- In the early design stages for Naruto, the titular character was also supposed to wear a pair of useless goggles. However, the artist found goggles too hard to draw, and so replaced it with a headband after the first few issues. Attention is called to it, as one of Naruto's mentors notes he's wearing the goggles as a replacement for the hachimaki actual ninja wear; it's taken as a sign of his immaturity.
- In the original one-shot, the goggles weren't useless; he wears them when riding his motorcycle. The goggles in the first few chapters of the series proper were a holdover from that one-shot.
- Obito wore what appear to be orange ski-goggles, which he actually wore on his face (probably be he was also wearing a headband), but they didn't apparently do anything.
- One chapter briefly features a character named Kosuke who wears goggles, which is weird since he's a toad (albeit a magic one).
- Masashi Kishimoto once stated in an interview that he drew that red and white tie thingy on Naruto's left shoulder as a spur of the moment addition.
- A related note is the tendency for covers and extra art (especially early one) to show the main characters with lots of bizarre and exotic weaponry they never actually use (e.g. Sakura holding giant axes, lots of weird scrolls and knife holsters).
- Subverted with the Mist Village ninja Ao: he has a pair of paper talismans on his ears which seem to just be decorative, but actually protect the Byakugan eye he has hidden behind his eyepatch.
- Sasuke's original design dodged this trope. Kishimoto's original plan was for him to wear a kind of talisman necklace (imagine a dogtag with three tags), but he decided against it after realizing that the pendant would be too fussy and complicated to draw every time he had a scene with Sasuke.
- One Piece's Zoro lampshades this with a Double Subversion when, after wearing goggles for an entire arc without explanation, he's fighting someone who generates blinding flashes of light — "Of course! My goggles!" — only for his enemy to find out that they do, indeed, do nothing, because they're clear plain glass. Honorable mention for Zoro still, as it's the first time he tried bluffing. However, they do become useful when Zoro uses them to see clearly underwater.
- Gold in the Pokemon Special has these as the only real difference between him and the male PC for the second generation games.
- Rin-rin in Sister Princess habitually wears a pair of goggles pushed up on top of her head. Given that she's a maker of robots and other technotoys, they may be welding goggles or other similar eye protection, but she's never seen with them actually over her eyes.
- Big Brother Mentor/Idiot Hero Kamina in Gurren Lagann frequently wears a pair of orange sunglasses, both at night, and underground.
- The protagonist, Simon, subverts this trope by actually wearing his goggles to protect his eyes and provide illumination while digging underground tunnels. It is worth mentioning, however, that Simon wears the goggles on his forehead at all times, even when not underground, and even in space. He is also the only one to wear them even though he is by no means the only one who digs tunnels.
- In Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, Syaoran's goggles appear useless at first, but then he finds an underwater country and uses them for diving.
- Speaking of Tsubasa, CLAMP seems to be developing a Nomura-like buckles-and-zipper fetish. Oh, and chains. Can't forget the chains.
- In early chapters of Chrono Crusade, Rosette wears a pair of goggles over her wimple. She uses them a grand total of once, while she and Chrono are on a plane and attempting to board an enemy's blimp. Chrono wears them, too, but it's the only time he's ever seen with goggles, and he takes his off once they make it in, but Rosette's stay on until she gets her militia outfit.
- Koga the Jerkass Noble Demon of Inuyasha wears a sheathed sword that he never uses during battle. Lampshaded when he finally draws the thing to whack his way free of a demon's giant clutching hand. When his pair of loyal minions express surprise that he's never used the sword before, Koga admits he doesn't even know how to fight with it—he just took the sword off a corpse to carry because he thought it would make him look cool.
- Shiba Ganju of Bleach was supposed to have goggles as part of his design, but Kubo lamented that he simply forgot to add them every time he drew the character. However, the goggles do appear on Ganjuu in some color spreads.
- Renji, meanwhile, likes wearing expensive goggles over his forehead tattoos, but are broken easily in fights. He substitutes a bandanna instead.
Card Games
- Chandra, a Planeswalker in Magic The Gathering, wears a pair of goggles on her brow.
- As did Jaya Ballard, who Chandra is arguably an Expy of.
- Since both of them derive great pleasure from killing things with fire and blowing stuff up, it's easy to see why they might be useful. Too bad we never see them actually being used!
- Answer is as follows (and this is at least comewhat cannon going by flavor text) before becoming a planswalker chandra was trained in pyromancy by jaya there for she is eather idolizing her teacher or those are actualy Jaya's goggles
- Although you never SEE her wear them, in the Webcomic series, her face is covered in soot and ash, except for the goggle marks around her eyes, so concievably they DO do something
Comic Books
- Zoe Jump from Warren Ellis' Black Summer limited series wears goggles. Justified because her eyes are actually artificial implants that give her superspeed (it's a quantum physics thing)
- Used on-and-off by Deadpool, whose pouches are almost never used. When they are used, they have contained action figures (of himself), wallet, keys, and (on one occasion) a pancreas. Then again, he's Deadpool. Logic doesn't work on him.
- The title character of Hellboy has horns, which he files down to look more human-like. The horns are about six inches in diameter, take up most of his forehead, and when filed down looks like he's wearing forehead goggles.
- They resemble goggles so much that some fans didn't even realize they were horns until they grew out at one point.
- Retro Girl of Powers used aviator goggles when flying, for some reason, despite being a level nine "We as a species just pray to dear God they're good folks" power.
- Bob Burden's Flaming Carrot wears flippers all the time, in case he needs to swim.
- Will Feral in Kingdom wears an aviator's hat and matching goggles for no particular reason. Dingo Star's shoulder pads and pouches might also count.
Film
- In the recent masterpiece by F. Bondarchuk Inhabited island the gear of an alien guardsman includes fa-abulous pink (!) ski googles. They almost never put them on, even during shooting practice, obstacle courses (with fire barriers) and actual combat raids against insurgents.
- In Alien Vs Predator's director's commentary, the director said that originally only one character was to wear goggles on his head. The other cast members thought it looked cool, so they all wore goggles on their head... which meant they had to be fogged up so they wouldn't reflect the cameras.
- In Top Gun, the bad guys wore their visors at all times while flying, while the good guys never did.
- A character in Can't Hardly Wait wears goggles on his forehead. They are actual swimmer's goggles. He never goes swimming.
Live Action TV
- In the new version of Battlestar Galactica, the Colonial Marines wear goggles on the top of their helmets, but they're very rarely actually worn and their exact purpose is never explained.
- They do it because real Marines wear them in sandy/dusty places like Iraq and Afghanistan, and it is these comparisons the show's creators want to encourage.
- Doctor Who: The Doctor has rather Rummage Sale Reject costumes, but the fifth Doctor also wore a piece of celery in his lapel. One author did offer an explanation, but the celery never did anything.
Tenth Doctor: (Taking the piss out of Mocking his fifth self, to his face.) “Hey – I’m the Doctor, I can save the Universe using a kettle and some string and look at me, I’m wearing a vegetable!”
- Not quite true - in the 5th Doctor's final story he reveals that he's allergic to certain gases "in the praxis range", in the presence of which the celery will turn purple. Presumably either the 5th Doctor was paranoid about gas or different incarnations of the Doctor can have different allergies.
- The 10th Doctor (and also, so the 10th Doctor claimed, the 5th Doctor) has his "brainy specs" - glasses that he puts on when he wants to look clever, but which aren't actually necessary for his eyesight.
- Toward the beginning of Serenity, River puts on a pair of oversized goggles during the crew's ride on the mule, but these are pretty quickly abandoned and obviously not that necessary later on when they are chased out of town.
Toys
- An example from toys (and the associated comic/cartoon/etc): The GIJoe enemy troops called Vipers◊ have a wraparound helmet with opaque facemask ... and goggles atop the helmet!
Video Games
Webcomics
- The character of Jyrras Gianna from Dan And Mabs Furry Adventures gains goggles in his new outfit, which are never used. Doubly unnecessary, in that he also wears glasses (which he doesn't need but wears for image's sake). He did use goggles during the non-canon spy spoof arc, but their only purpose was to hide his eyes, as villains are not allowed to be 'cute'.
- The title of this Darths And Droids strip reference to this phenomenon (though there's no link to this page).
- Used every which way in Girl Genius, as befits its mad science milieu.
- Parodied (maybe) in Penny Arcade with the character of Charles. Ever since his redesign, he has kept a pair of goggles on his forehead.
Web Original
- Mad Scientist Dr. Horrible wears goggles on his forehead; he does no more than adjust them until the end, when he becomes a true villain.
- The trope is referenced on The Spoony Experiment by Doctor Insano, on seeing a Bruce Lee Clone in a speedo.
- http://www.southperry.net has a goggle smiley inspired in part by one of Maplestory's bosses, Rellik, and in part by the Simpsons quote above. The goggles became wildly popular, and people began editing their avatars to include them. Nexon (Maplestory's publisher in North America) saw this and created Gachapon (egg-machine that requires real money in exchange for random items) only goggles equippable by players. There is an inscription on them stating "Who says the goggles do nothing?"
Western Animation
- Gadget of Chip And Dale Rescue Rangers slightly averts this. While the goggles she constantly wears mostly Do Nothing, as both a mechanic and a pilot they're reasonable headgear - and on very, very rare occasions she'll actually pull them down over her eyes while building or flying.
- Frida from El Tigre. In one episode, after her goggles fall off and break, Frida shrieks, "Those are prescription!" However, she never actually wears them over her eyes.
- Kim Possible: Kim and Ron's commando mission suits in "A Sitch In Time".
- Oban Star Racers has Molly, who, being a Star Racer pilot (basically a podracer pilot) always wears her goggles on her forehead and has even been seen sleeping in them. However, since inside her vehicle she is safely concealed behind a plastic dome, she doesn't really need to protect her eyes. Since her mother also wore a pair, which are constantly seen in flashbacks on top of her head, chances are very high that Molly initially got hers because they looked like her mother's.
- Transformers Animated is fond of this:
- Blitzwing◊ has goggles built into the helmet of his robot mode head. Not only does he A) Not wear them, B) Not need them, what with being a robot and all, C) Could not pull them down over his eyes even if he did, but D) his "angry" face already has a red visor over its eyes and his "calm" face has a monocle, which means that he is essentially wearing two pairs of equally-useless goggles! Blitzwing is the KING of Goggles Do Nothing.
- Prometheus Black still wears his visor thing even after turning into a sentient mass of acid. Maybe it's so we don't have to see his eyes.
- And once again Jetfire has aviator goggles that are apparently part of his head.
- Hay Lin in WITCH likes to wear a pair of goggles just above her forehead.
- Bender and many other robots in Futurama have antenna that serve no apparent purpose, which gets a Lampshade Hanging several times. First when the thing turned out to be interfering with the satellite transmission in his new apartment, and Fry says he should just cut it off since it doesn't do anything, after which it's treated as a robot equivalent of his penis. Again when it's suggested he has a toilet somewhere in his body and pushing down on it flushes. Subverted again when Mom says most people think she puts antenna on her robots just to make them "more science-fictiony" but they really let her take control of everything with a remote control.
Fan Fiction
- Adelleh in the Tales series of Looking For Group fanfiction is a crazy zombie priestess who wears green goggles for no apparent reason (then again much of what Adelleh does has no apparent reason), despite them being somewhat out of place in a medieval fantasy setting. Nobody knows why she wears them, but they've become her signature costume item.
Real Life
- For some time, Drew Carey's glasses were only a prop and did not actually correct his vision; he had eye surgery and didn't need glasses. They're bifocals now, though.
- Erwin Rommel, the German commander famous for his early victories in North Africa in early WWII wore a distinctive pair of (British) goggles.
- Neon coloured goggles are popular in rave and cybergoth culture, purely for aesthetic reasons.
- Ditto steampunk, though their goggles tend to be more monochrome and have gadgets on them.
- In certain accessory stores, such as Claire's or Icing, it is possible to buy rectangular-lensed, black-and-neon-framed nerd-looking glasses that do nothing. In fact, because real glasses dirty so easily, unless the buyer polishes them almost constantly they'll partially obscure her vision.
- American soldiers deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan are almost always issued goggles to protect against sun,dust, and shrapnel, but invariably remain on their foreheads. Eye injuries are disproportionately common among soldiers compared to the roughly 2% of body surface area they cover, and could often be avoided by wearing the goggles.
- US Army soldiers are all issued goggles, and almost every unit has a standard that they be attached to the Kevlar helmet, along with a special clamp that is use to mount a night vision device. This is a uniform standard and the goggles themselves are difficult to use in this configuration, and likely, deformed, scratched, uncomfortable, or too cumbersome, to use as eye protection. With the change in the US army to a brimless helmet the goggles (normally covered by a cloth sleeve) work better as a brim to shade they eyes than they do as intended. Soldiers are all issued "eye protection" in the form of sun glasses. These glasses are also worn in addition to the mostly useless Goggles on their helmets. The main reason you never see this in TV or movies is that the glasses cause horrible reflection and distortion, and fog up often making the "protective gear" potentially fatal in combat. Most soldiers will have multiple pairs of goggles and some even use them as intended, but the ones on the helmet are the least likely yo see actual use.
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