Property Damage
is a crossover fan fiction between Warhammer 40,000 and Fate/stay night. A bored Zelretch tweaks the limiters of the Greater Grail, ensuring the summoning of powerful Heroic Spirits from the grim and dark future of the 41st Millennium. Hilarity and awesome ensues.
The list of spirits is as follows:
Saber (Master: Shirou): The God-Emperor of Mankind. The strongest Servant in the game, but is hampered by Shirou being kinda incompetent and two of his Noble Phantasms being unusable in normal combat.
Archer (Master: Rin): Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka. The most powerful Ork Warboss in the 41st century.
Lancer (Master: Kirei): Trayzn the Infinte. A Necron Lord known for his love of history and penchant for collecting valuable artifacts.
Berserker (Master: Illya): Kharn the Betrayer. A champion of Khorne, known for being so Ax-Crazy his fellow ax crazies don't want to get anywhere near him (his title is "the betrayer" for a reason).
Caster: Ahzek Ahriman, a sorcerer of the Thousand Sons traitor marine legion. Doubles as Avenger's Master.
Rider (Master: Sakura): Asdrubael Vect, leader of the Dark Eldar. Our Elves Are Different... very different.
Assassin (Master: Kariya): The Tyranid Swarmlord. A special bioform and the most dangerous Hive Tyrant in the biofleets. Technically its original master was Zouken Matou, but it killed him and reformed Kariya from genetic data to be its new master.
Avenger (Master: Ahriman): Abbadon the Despoiler, influential Chaos warlord and leader of the Black Crusades. Also known as Failbaddon the Harmless after screwing up a campaign.
Property Damage provides examples of:
- Adaptational Heroism: Saber, after certain canon revelations. His alignment is given as
Lawful Good and he genuinely cares about Shirou, while the canon Emperor has been stated to be incapable of caring for individual humans (albeit by a potentially Unreliable Narrator). - Affably Evil:
- Lancer, aka Trazyn the Infinite, who politely greets and thanks Kirei for providing him with a "welcoming gift" immediately after his summoning. He stays polite and affable throughout the story thus far, and even lets people take pictures of him while claiming he's a cosplayer.
- Rider, aka Asdrubael Vect, also counts, graciously thanking Sakura for freeing his soul and promising her victory.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: The Chaos Gods who twist reality and routinely decide the fates of billions on a whim... and occasionally play Dungeons and Dragons.
- Asshole Victim: Shinji Matou; he sneers at Sakura for summoning an "elf", but Rider quickly and brutally asserts his superiority.
- Awesome, but Impractical: Rin's opinion of Archer's armour and weapons. It's to be expected, Archer is an Ork after all.
- Badass Boast:
- Kirei."I am a good exorcist."
- Lancer has one as well."I am Trazyn the Infinite, the Keeper of History. I was old when the ancestors of your kind were nothing but mindless bacteria. I witnessed the fall of empires, the death of stars, and wars beyond your primitive understanding. Before me, you are but a name on a tombstone, Ahzek Ahriman, and your threats dust in the winds of the cosmos."
- Kirei.
- Back from the Dead: Kariya is resurrected/cloned by Assassin using the stored data it got from consuming Zouken's bio-mass to serve at its Master.
- Behind a Stick: One omake has Ursukar E. Creed summoned as the servant Rider. His memetic "Tactical Genius" rule (he can scout one unit per game — fanon interpretation is basically him pulling this trope) promptly gets put into play.
- Berserk Button: Archer is furious when Rider uses his "black hole in a box" to stop his city-sized "krooz missile".
- Big Bad Ensemble: All of the Servants with the exception of Saber and Gilgamesh all have a very good claim to be the final villain. Kirei has managed to hang on as well.
- Big Bad Wannabe: Gilgamesh still thinks that he's a threat despite everyone outclassing him by ridiculous margins. He's sort of delusionaly adorable that way.
- Big Damn Heroes: Saber aka the Emperor saving Shirou from Lancer.
- Blood Knight: Berserker aka Kharn the Betrayer naturally.
- Born Unlucky: Avenger. His Luck stat is -EX, i.e. Readings Are Off the Scale in the negatives.
- Breaking Speech: Caster gives Kirei the answer he was looking for. It drives him to despair before Caster burns him alive."You were born the way you are, because the gods strive in mocking you!" Ahriman taunted. "Our life, our existence, is meaningless, an endless puppet show the gods watch for their ghastly amusement! There is no eternal reward for your faith, no punishment for your crimes! All you will find beyond death is the screaming anguish of oblivion! Your entire life is nothing more than a cruel joke, and your beliefs, foolish lies!"
- Broken Masquerade: Thanks to all of the Servants bringing in a massive case of "I don't give a damn", the Holy Grail War has gone public.
- The Chew Toy: Avenger's luck score is -EX. That is, so low it's off the scale in the negatives.
- Cute and Psycho: Illya, even more so than in canon seeing as she's converted to the worship of Khorne.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Jubstacheit von Einzbern berates Illya for failing to summon Hercules as Berserker. Berserker apparently beheads him mid-rant, then kills his bodyguards, then the other von Einzbern magi and their pet chimeras, and finally sets Castle von Einzbern on fire. To top it all of he presents Illya with their heads - she accepts.
- Dead Fic: Was last updated September 27 2014.
- Double Take: Rider is stunned when Archer survives an anti-matter beam to the face.
- Earth-Shattering Kaboom: Discussed between Shirou and Saber. Saber rather rightfully fears that Earth is in danger of going boom given all of the other Servants lack of restraint, subtlety, and morals.
- Epic Fail: Avenger has the Screw Up skill at EX level: "anything Avenger does has a small chance to fail so spectacularly it might seem logically impossible". And given his luck score is in the negatives...
- Even Evil Has Standards: All over the place, thanks to Deliberate Values Dissonance.
- Surprisingly enough, Zouken. The man is terrified of Rider's 'enforcers' who chase from the Matou Estate, and is appalled by the other Servants."...the Einzbern Berserker collected skulls for trophies...Kotomine's Lancer was fond of stuffing magi...the Caster dabbled in demonology...Tohsaka's Archer was a monster, and utterly insane..."
- The Swarmlord throws this trope back into Zouken's face, seeing his treatment of his offspring as both stupid and cruel.
- Caster, a Lawful schemer, sees Archer, a Chaotic Ork as the worst and most despicable of all the Servants.
- Rider is a Dark Eldar, with all that implies, but even he refrains from telling Sakura what he did to his former mentor's corpse, saying she is too young to hear.
- Surprisingly enough, Zouken. The man is terrified of Rider's 'enforcers' who chase from the Matou Estate, and is appalled by the other Servants.
- Evil Mentor:
- Rider, for some reason (probably the fact that Dark Eldar women don't come in any flavors other than The Vamp), thinks that Sakura is a manipulative femme fatale, and has taken on the task of being a mentor for her. The interactions are rather hilarious to say the least.
- Subverted in the case of Saber and Shiro. While he's taken Shiro under his wing, being who he is, he's not really evil.
- Facepalm: Kirei all but does this when the Pope of all people calls him out over the increasingly visible and destructive Holy Grail War.
- Fate Worse than Death: Bazett is not only betrayed by Kirei ala canon, but is made a part of Lancer's collection.
- Shinji disrespects Asdrubael Vect (Leader of the Dark Eldar, a faction specializing in torture). Vect promptly makes Shinji his playtoy. His fate is left mostly unelaborated, but apparently he's learned the painful way that it is possible to live without your skin, and Vect drinks his tears at one point.
- Hoist by His Own Petard:
- Zouken Matou. Assassin aka the Swarmlord immediately kills him the moment it's summoned.
- Ahriman probably regrets summoning Abaddon after the latter blew up his own HQ with his Noble Phantasm.
- Insane Troll Logic: Archer's trademark persona; it works to the extent that RIN of all people gives in to his arguments.
- It Makes Sensein Context: Lancer mentions that Terran sorceresses are quite rare, which actually makes sense given the Imperium's attitude towards sorcery and psychic abilities in the future.
- Caster respects Kuzuki's job as a teacher, as he considers the task of spreading knowledge a holy duty.
- Tzeentch and Zelretch apparently know each other; considering their hobbies, it's not all that surprising.
- Karma Houdini: If there's one thing the Church and the Mages Association can agree on, it's that Zelretch has gotten away with far to much bullshit for far too long.
- Mind Rape: Saber inflicts this on Gilgamesh. He survives.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Played with when Shirou sees Saber's memories and asks about it, however unlike canon!Sabre, the Emperor is willing to keep going forward despite all his past regrets.
- My Species Doth Protest Too Much: Lancer's species, the Necrons, are basically humanoid Daleks (and are called out as such), but Lancer doesn't share their omnicidal mania- after all, exterminating everyone in the galaxy would leave him with nothing better than rocks to collect.
- More Dakka: Invoked by Archer as his very own Noble Phantasm.
- Mugging the Monster:
- Played with; the only reason Lorelei and her counterpart from the Church don't go physical on Zelretch for starting the mess is the man's own godlike power as the Second Magician.
- Played straight when Shinji Matou disrespects Rider for being an elf, and very quickly gets a beatdown followed by a Fate Worse than Death.
- Nerf: Caster aka Ahriman has apparently been reduced in power, although his knowledge and understanding of sorcery remain intact; apparently though, he views it a worthy sacrifice, considering the potential power of the Grail."...at my peak I could summon armies and reshape the fabric of the universe itself... but as I am now, I have to focus on spells I could normally complete with my eyes closed... this Holy Grail will be worth the humiliation... a god I shall become!"
- Noodle Incident: Apparently, Abbadon lost his final Black Crusade because the Imperium launched an Exterminatus on Cadia... due to a paperwork error.
- Older Is Better: Gilgamesh finds himself on the receiving end of this trope by Nasuverse rules for the first time in history. Many of the Servants are older than him by a wide margin by twenty-first century standards. Saber is a good four-thousand years older than him (as he finds out the hard way) while Lancer, Rider, and Assassin most definitely predate Earth before it even had bacteria living on it! To them, Gil is nothing more than a upstart Psychopathic Man Child holding a hissy fit.
- Only Sane Man: One for each faction.
- Saber is this for the Servants being the only one who doesn't consider destroying the Earth an acceptable loss.
- Rin for the Masters. Though Archer is working on changing that.
- Khorne, of all deities, is this for the Chaos Gods.
- Our Elves Are Different: Shinji mocks Sakura for summoning an elf; Rider promptly makes sure that Shinji learns that the Dark Eldar are not to be casually messed with.
- Overshadowed by Awesome: Gilgamesh may be an immensely powerful Servant, but when the less awesome of the new Servants is Avenger AKA Abaddon the Despoiler he's quite out of his league...
- Person of Mass Destruction: All of the Servants are perfectly capable of destroying the Earth if they felt like it.
- Poetic Justice: After learning what Shinji has done to Sakura, Kariya washes his hands of Shinji's fate at Rider's hands.
- Psychopathic Man Child:
- Saber accuses Gilgamesh of being this and he shows all the signs of a Type C.
- Avenger is most definitely one.
- Archer might be one, given his Blue-and-Orange Morality and how he might be Obfuscating Stupidity, and how he's most definitely manipulating Rin, he might be more mature than he lets on.
- All of the Chaos Gods qualify, their D&D sessions explain far too much.
- Refuge in Audacity: Zelretch offers using aliens as an excuse for the increasingly public spectacle of the war. Seeing as most of the Servants are aliens, it makes sense.
- Smug Snake: Many. Quite a few characters haven't adapted well to the crossover.
- Shinji Matou as always. He thinks its a good idea to mouth off to Vect. He's quickly shown his place.
- Gilgamesh. He is the biggest one in the entire story, reaching Frey levels at times. He still thinks that he's a threat and that he has a chance against the Emperor.
- Zelretch thinks that he's Tzeentch's friend and equal completely unaware that he's been his pawn for years and has been manipulated to alter the Holy Grail War so Tzeentch can hold an awesome D&D meeting.
- Squee: Archer aka Ghazghkull Thraka has one when he sees Taiga's bike,
which is painted red. - Stalker without a Crush: Trayzn, towards Gilgamesh.
- Taking You with Me: Avenger aka Abaddon the Despoiler responds to his impending defeat by Archer by simply nuking the battlefield.
- The Only One Allowed to Defeat You:
- Played with; Archer accuses the Grail of being junk for not allowing his arch-nemesis to be summoned.
- Invoked by Gilgamesh after he recovers from his fight with Saber.
- This Cannot Be!: Gilgamesh undergoes this when fighting Saber.
- Title Drop: In chapter 5.Kotomine (after Saber and Berserker have a very public fight): "How am I supposed to explain that to the Association? And pay for the property damage?"
- Token Good Teammate: Saber to the Servants. He's mellowed out a good deal from canon, and he's the only servant who wouldn't consider destroying Earth to be 'acceptable collateral damage'.
- Troll: Kirei and Lancer.
- Unwitting Pawn: Given that Tzeentch is here, it's inevitable.
- It turns out that Zelretch has been Tzeentch's stooge for God knows how long, and is the reason behind his fanon personality.
- Rin is one to Kirei, Rider, and Archer of all Servants.
- Villain Decay: Gilgamesh, over the course of five chapters goes from World's Strongest Man to Team Kotomine's Big Bad Wannabe Team Pet. He later reaches a new low when he becomes Taiga's bitch.
- World's Strongest Man: Saber/ The Emperor has effortlessly booted Gilgamesh out of this spot.
