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Testing in three! two! one!

Adam Savage

Am I... missing... an eyebrow? (Yep.)

*picks up small fragment of cement truck* Well, there's your problem!

Failure is always an option on Mythbusters.

Gravity, man... it's not just a good idea, it's the law!

If I had any dignity, that would have been humiliating!

Stop sparking my ass! (the last word is covered by a Sound-Effect Bleep and a graphic over his mouth but if you're old enough, you pretty much know)

(in his James Bond villain voice) Is everybody ready for diving?

[To Jamie:]The only thing that differentiates you and me from a couple of 14 year old pyromaniacs... (knocks on blast shield) ballistic glass.

[To Camera]Why? Because secretly, you've always wondered. And that's why we're here.

*Points to a .30-06 round* This kills you. *Points to a .50BMG round* This kills you and everyone else in the room!

Today's forecast: (pops an umbrella open) Seventy percent chance...of science!

(after being slapped by Jamie) Holy bleeping bleepity bleep!

(After their lead balloon goes... up like a lead balloon.)
I tell you, that might be ridiculously impractical, but, you know, if someone says it's impossible, we just take it as a challenge! Busted idiom!

(in a terrible French accent) Today on Mythbusters, we have my two favorite things: red meat and high explosives!

(Thermite-coated cloth suddenly burns fast and brightly) Dude-eronomy!

(First water-walking test; to Jamie) Come, Silent Walrus! Let us storm the castle! I will put on my safety gear.

We often learn at the end of an episode of MythBusters, everyday objects can, in fact, be made lethal if Jamie builds a gun to shoot them.

Let's do it again!

Get me the Jack Russel Terrier urine. That oughta do it.

(As their model Hindenburg accidentally catches on fire) Man, these things are ALWAYS catching on fire! ...That is the textbook definition of "irony," kids.

(Holding up two bottles of explosive ingredients with Pixellation over their names) This ingredient is made of Blur. Ha. And this has some Blur too. Blur is very dangerous; you don't want to mix Blur with Blur.

(On taking candy from a baby) These babies are crafty. I think we can outsmart them.

(As their arrow machine gun breaks down for the umpteenth time.)
Arg! Bleck! Wackem treggy wackum boogum barsher... BLEH! Fudge! Babies! ...Baby hippos!

(After they finally complete a successful test of said arrow machine gun.)
I'm gonna go eat something that was living!

This is the point in the day, which we've come to many times, where we start to go "What else do we have that's flammable in the truck?"

I just had another one of those "what the hell are we doing?!" moments (numerous occasions)

(While Jamie is painting something) White shirt. Black paint. That is what being fearless is all about.

(After shooting a car-mounted paintball machine gun) You SO wish you were me right now.

(After confirming the Drain Disaster myth, standing behind a manhole cover with a "2" on it) Well, if there's one thing everyone knows they can expect from a sewer explosion, it's that number two is gonna fly into the air.

Remember, kids, in order to perform science, you need patience... patients willing to be subjected to dangerous experiments.

Remember, kids, the only difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.

(Wearing a auto racing fire suit and carrying a climbing axe) Here comes chaos!

(As Jamie is polishing a homemade wrecking ball in the background) Jamie wire-brushes his balls every morning.

(Jamie's attempt to recreate Air-Vent Passageway is... not going well.)
Adam: Why, Thor, the god of thunder, is trying to enter my building!
Tory: Somebody needs to check that air conditioner!

(Wearing a tin foil mask/helmet as Jamie MacGyvers a heat ray out of a microwave) I wouldn't say Jamie's an Evil Genius. I'm not sure he's evil and I'm not sure he's a genius...

(After inhaling a mixture of tobacco snuff and powdered drink mix to induce a trackable sneeze:) Ohhh... it's irritating, and sweet and fruity!

(After blowing up a trombone caused the police to stop by and see what was going on) I think any day when we do something that brings the cops flocking to us, but then they have to let us continue what we're doing, is the perfect Mythbusters day.

(After receiving Buster's ballistics gel replacement in 22,000-foot Fall)
Adam: ... And, his name is Ted as in busted.
Narrator: Or, as in exploited, detonated, and annihilated

Jamie Hyneman

Our Death Ray doesn't seem to be working. I'm standing right in it... and I'm not dead yet.

It always brightens my mood when we get to break out the sledgehammer.

Jamie wants big boom!

When in doubt, C-4.

Judging by the bucket, I'd say we've only got a drop in the bucket.

It was the lard that did it.

([object] has just been blasted to smithereens]) [Object] went away.

What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen somebody work on a car with an axe?

[Referring to a myth only available as a bonus on the website]: It involves a portable music player, Grant, and an onion.

[standing in front of a washing machine filled with ball bearings rattling very noisily, shouting at the top of his lungs] So far my neighbors think it's cool to be next to the Mythbusters. [points at the dryer] That could change.

Steak in a dryer with ball bearings actually did really tenderize the meat. Of course, there were problems because it, like, tenderized the dryer itself and it fell apart but, you know, if you get over that you've got a tender steak.

Don't open your mouth [in that pond]. It's like an au jus of duck poop.

It's just another lovely day at the bomb range. The birds are singing, rabbits are hopping about, and soon there's gonna be a big explosion.note 

(In reference to the soda-can firing rig balanced on his shoulder) I call it my little pop gun.

Sometimes... You just need a little extra lubrication.

[After using two tanks to pull apart a couple of interlaced phone books] I just wanted to make a phone call.

It's like your ass is one with the target.

Adam: Gimme a countdown.
Jamie: 2, 3, 1. *fires chicken cannon*

Unfortunately, humans are big heavy things, usually, and so when you're using them as projectiles, it takes a lot of energy, and it takes a heck of a lot of work.

Jamie: [While Adam is digging a hole in the background] Adam doesn't know it yet, but he's digging his own grave.
Adam: What was that?
Jamie: Nothing! Keep digging!

Jamie: (About to detonate an explosive) Buh-bye!

(Blueprint for "10 Pounds of Poop in a 5-Pound Bag".)
Jamie: Well, I've always heard it said, "ten pounds of *BEEP* in a five-pound bag".
Adam: So have I, but because it's a family show, we can't say *BEEP*.
Jamie: Well, can we say crap?
Adam: Apparently we can say crap, but only twice in an episode, and we just did.
Jamie: Awww, crap.

I always enjoy seeing Adam in pain.

3! 2! 1! Buh-bye!

Kari Byron

These will explode, these will melt, this will kill you — this is great.

As I am six months pregnant, I will be wearing a bulletproof vest. Protecting for two, you see.

Our blast zone is set up way, way, way over there. But we've decided to come really, really far back to make sure all Mythbusters, big and tiny [points to very pregnant abdomen)], are perfectly safe.

If we're wrong about this, we're going to have a really bad day.

High-explosives and electricity. Wooo!

I think the idea of talking to your plants is some foolish, hippie, crystal-gripping nonsense...

Dumbass peas.

(Carried Away. The Build Team is having difficulty coming up with an estimate on how long it will take to inflate all the needed balloons.)
Narrator: Eventually, they call the rocket scientist, and she came up with just under four hours.
Scottie: God, I used to be a teacher! The kids are gonna be like, "Oh my god, she can't even do math any more!"
Kari: (to camera in a hilarious Southern drawl) I ain't never been one for book learnin'!

Kari: What does it mean when [crocodiles] hiss?
David Kledzik: When they hiss, they feel a little threatened, cause you're getting a little bit too close to them, cause they're kind of unhappy with your presence right now.
Kari: (Kari's eyes get very large) They're unhappy?

Science gets more fun when I get a bigger gun!

(Screaming at the top of her lungs at a straw brush held against a rotating clay pot) YOU CRAZY KILLER!

(While Tory is trying to separate a bullet from its shell... with his teeth) Your mom is in my head right now, and she's telling you: Don't do that.

Kari: Now, go on—go back to whatever you're doing—I have an incredibly busy afternoon of stuffing dead birds into sexy lingerie ahead of me.
The Narrator: Now there's a sentence you don't hear very often...

I also learned something about myself. And that is that when in danger, I will use a co-worker as a human shield.

Now remember: The safety word is "Run!"

Grant: OK, but instead of a bathtub, we should do a TOILET! You know, like how you used to throw cherry bombs down the toilet in high school.
Tory: Yeah, well, I wouldn't know anything about that; I was too busy studying chemistry.
Kari: ...What is this? Opposite land?

It's really strange when you have a job where you spend all day doing things your parents told you never to do.

(After observing that Tory has outfitted the hood of his car with a harpoon) Your idea of a "safe stop" is to shank me?

(After Adam gets a severe electric shock) Did you feel God?

Now what would be a really good pump-action shotgun to go with my outfit?

[sniffing cigarette-smoke saturated shirt] I smell like... Bingo Night in some... French foreign cinema kind of... old lady bar.

Remember the Hwacha? Well, we're going to Hwacha them. So watch-a this!

[VERY distressed] What I want to know... is why I... am a grown woman... and boys are still trying to make me eat bugs!

[after busting the myth that girls don't pass gas] Can I take the microphone out of my butt now?

I promised my mother I wouldn't do the dangerous stuff anymore... sorry, mom.

Okay, my toast? My toast always lands buttah side up.

(to Tory) Are we ever going to have an episode where you don't hurt yourself?

(Blueprint Room setup for Antigravity)
Grant: Have you ever thought it would be cool to control gravity?
Kari: (putting a "Pyramid Power" model on her head) Wooo, great, another one of these!
Grant: OK, look, there's a lot of credible research going on all around the world. There's a Russian scientist doing a lot of cool things with superconductors, NASA, the European space agency... are all interested.
Kari: Yeah, that just pretty much proves that there's nutjobs and fruitcakes all the way to the top.

Sometimes you get to blow stuff up. Sometimes you drive in circles with the air conditioning off.

(While climbing down a building on a rope made of human hair.)
Kari: I see split ends.
Tory: You should have used conditioner!
Kari: They're split ends!

(Prep work for Cannonball Chemistry. Kari takes off her safety gear and speaks to camera with very mussed hair and dust-covered clothes.)
Yeah, I really like working in TV... I think it's the glamour, the clothes... (Beat) Makes me feel really pretty.

Tory Belleci

You know, watching Kari dig this hole and knowing that I'm going to be buried up to my neck in it, it's kind of like watching her dig my grave... I hope I don't regret saying that.

OK, all set to go here. Glasses are set up, car's ready, paramedics are.....nowhere to be found.

I see injuries in my future.

Tory: Frank, why are you standing so far away?
Frank Doyle: Because I want to continue to live.
Tory: So the next question is, why am I standing so close?

Tory: Let's play charades!
(Grant begins to act out charades, but breaks down laughing)
Tory: Two words. Sounds like?
Fire extinguisher in a fire: BOOM!

(standing in a bull ring, wearing a red jumpsuit) I'm starting to think this is a bad idea.

You know you're onto something when your small-scale involves dropping cars from a crane!

It's getting dangerous here on MythBusters. And that's how we like it.

(About Benjamin Franklin) And we killed a dead president!
Grant: He was never president...
[Grant and Kari walk away, not quite holding in their laughter.]
Tory: Wasn't he? ...Dammit.

Apparently, I am close to the size of the ballistics dummy, therefore I have to go and shop... for a bra. Once again, making my family proud.

Hey, it's working...what the heck?

Black powder and duct tape? That doesn't sound like science, that sounds like a family reunion!

(after Kari screams "TORY!" at another piece of straw held against a rotating clay pot) That was a good one, Kari! Now I know what it would be like to be married to you.

We're popping popcorn with lasers!

Kari: Your idea of a safe stop is to shank me?!
Tory: Well, more like harpoon you.

Am I excited? You better believe I'm excited! We just made a giant moose out of rubber, and now we're going to crash cars into it!

Tory: I don't know if that's legal in California…

(During the Jaws episode, Adam obtained two of the actual yellow barrels used in the film)
Adam: So he (the owner) says the only things we can't do are burn 'em, blow 'em up, or lose 'em.
Tory: Has he watched the show?

Awww, it's a cute little bug...of death!

(Playing on the doomed piano) and we're gonna light it on fire!

If I Had a Nickel... for every time I've been kicked in the nuts on this show, I could retire.

So we're back here at New Mexico Tech. You know, the school where you can get a degree in blowing *BLEEP* up.

Grant Imahara

You know what they say: Safe exploding is good exploding.

I love those two words: "Bomb robot".

(Adam is working on a grappling hook, and is firing it at the wall. He misses repeatedly) Now all we have to do is work on the 'hitting the wall' part.

Tory: Do you even watch any sports?
Grant: Robot combat. (Pause) It's a sport!

[To Tory] This next myth is really fun! It involves you hurting yourself.


[To Tory] You've had stupider ideas.

I'm going to make a robot, of course.

Don't forget to do the science!

And now for something completely gratuitous.

If there's a circle of hell for people who destroy beautiful cars, that's where we're going.

Leather: It's great for fashion; not so good for artillery.

(Lampshading Wire Dilemma while installing an RC rig in a car.)
Now, which is it... the brown wire, the other brown wire, or the other other brown wire?

Decapitation hazard, everybody.

("Knock Your Socks Off" revisit. Tory has just proposed testing shaven vs. unshaven legs in the hunt for the best-case scenario socks.)
Grant: Are you volunteering your bare legs?
Tory: I don't wax my legs.
Kari: Not yet you don't!
Grant: Ooh, hey! (rings a steel pipe like a bell) Round 1!

Scottie Chapman

Let's egg him on until he hurts himself. That's always fun. (seconds later, Tory tries a bicycle jump and faceplants on asphalt)

[Presenting a car's driveshaft to Jamie] For you: One nice, greasy part. Guaranteed to get your shirt dirty.

The Narrator (Robert Lee)

"Who are the MythBusters? Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman...between them, more than thirty years of special effects experience. They don't just tell the myths -- they put them to the test!"

Adam has to act like this... It's in his contract.

...Adam puts out the Mythbuster Yodel.
3 copies of Adam sing "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" in sequence to form a chord.
Okay, Adam, now you're just really taking the barbershop thing too far. Just press the detonation button, will ya?

When it comes to ramping it up, there's one location guaranteed to find the dial marked "Awesome," turn it to eleven, rip it off, and run away laughing.
The lesson here is obvious: Don't hold loaded guns in exploding rooms.

Ah, Jamie's high school days. Practicing football! Growing facial hair! And drinking cardboard.

Oblivious to all warnings, Grant and Tory set the scene, then get dressed for success: sombreros, boots, and bandoliers - a desperately clichéd battle looms between the tragically uncool, the undeniably hot, and these two idiots.

(After Grant made a bet that he'd eat his multi-tool pouch if his safety system fails) Coming up next, we learn how Grant likes his multi-tool pouch prepared!

Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a blast...not to mention, a pleasure.

Sgt. J.D. Nelson

Grant: But we have a backup piano we can explode. What do you have for us?
J.D.: What I think you need is the "MythBusters Concerto in C-4".

(upon seeing a bucket filled with one million matchheads) You guys have way too much time on your hands.

(shortly after the above) If this does go off [while we're here], then it is time to de-ass the area with the quickness.

(while digging in a one-story house filled with popcorn to bury some high explosives) I don't think they taught me this in bomb school...

(upon seeing Jamie's metal sphere contraption for painting a room with explosives)
Congratulations... after all these years, you finally made the Death Star.

(J.D. preps a C-4 explosive, but Jamie is unsatisfied with its appearance and re-shapes it to look like a cartoon bomb.)
I have no doubt in my mind you're gonna get that road runner this time.