- Dung For: An angry farmer chases after one of his workers in retaliation for the worker putting the moves on the farmer's daughter. The worker decided to hide in a truck... which is about to be filled with cow manure. He ends up getting buried alive. When the farmer's daughter finds him when she opens the truck, her reaction is priceless and it gives the impression that it happened to her before.Farmer's Daughter: Why does this keep happening to me?!
- Greased is the Word: An idiot who's already done time for a failed stick-up tries to rob a jewelry store. However, with his pantyhose mask blocking his vision, the moron can't see where he's going and he draws a gun... in a gun shop. You can guess how well that turns out.
- Succu Offed: Two stoners have a shared hallucination after drinking cactus juice and are haunted by the booming voice of the spirit of a saguaro cactus who warns that they will be punished for stealing it from its natural habitat. Both stoners die by not looking where they're going in their attempt to escape the vengeful plant and end up impaled by cacti.
- Boyz 2 Dead: A boy band that used to be popular in the 1990s is now reduced to playing at small clubs for bored audiences. The lead singer hears a woman with a camcorder scream his name and does a stage dive, hoping the audience would catch him. They don't, and he ends up dead from the impact damaging his spine. The kicker: the other members of the boy band continue their performance after realizing the lead singer is dead.
- Work of Fart: A frat boy is trying to win a farting contest by getting a coach with some of the weirdest methods imaginable. The coach dies when the frat boy accidentally ignites a big one, inadvertently setting the coach on fire. Even funnier is the frat boy's reaction:"Oh, my God! My fart killed you!"
- And one of the interviewees is a guy who competes in fart competitions. He demonstrates with his mouth.
- Tali-Bombed: Two would-be terrorists plan to blow up a police station with a bomb involving a suitcase filled with Semtex using a GPS timer. Several seconds after they prime the bomb, the timer starts to beep.
- While assembling the bomb, the terrorists chat about which American celebrity is hotter.
- Em-Bear-Assed: A guy is high on shrooms and finds himself in a furry orgy. Wanting in, he finds a random furry and begins to screw it, only to find that it's an actual bear. He gets mauled. What makes it funnier is the narrator's recap of it.Narrator: Let's recap what we learned from Randy's gruesome death: This is your brain, this is your brain on drugs, and this is a bear, ripping out your throat after you tried to have sex with it while you were high on drugs. The lesson? When nature calls, just say no.
- Colon-Gross-Oppy: A tomboy competes with her immature roommates in various contests, such as drinking beer and blowing balloons. When the time for a farting contest begins, she decides to one-up them by sticking a can of whipped cream into her butt. But the gas from the can destroys her from the inside, killing her. As soon as the roommates show up to see what happened, though, the dead girl (who is bent over a couch with her butt sticking up) lets out a fart. Blood sprays onto one of the roommates' face, causing him to cry out, "I'm covered in ass blood!"
- Down with the Clown: A birthday party clown named Funny Eddie is out to destroy a hip-hop Horrorcore duo called Infernal Clown Posse because he thinks they're ruining the reputation of clowns everywhere. Funny Eddie crashes one of their concerts and tries to get onstage, but gets hit in the head with a soda bottle. When he comes to, he decides to pull the plug on the concert and upstage the group. Turns out it's not such a good idea, as being drenched in soda made the clown conducive to the electricity in the wires and he got fried. Infernal Clown Posse's response: "IN! YOUR! FACE!"
- Even the ads can be pretty funny. The mere concept of The Grim Reaper doing Stand-Up Comedy to describe the show is LOL-worthy.
- Gas Holed: A proctologist with a fetish for woman's asses forgets to tell a stripper (who suffered a rectal injury during a porno movie shoot) to not eat anything before operating on her. She eats a large chili dog and later lets out a big fart during the surgery, accidentally blowing up the cauterizer and burning the doc's face and lungs.
- Apocalypse Harley: In an homage to Apocalypse Now, a Marlon Brando-esque mercenary is hired to take down a Charlie Sheen-esque actor who's been all over the news for his cocaine abuse, his violence against women, and his erratic behavior (i.e., believing that he's a wizard and claiming that he gets all his powers from tiger blood). When the mercenary finally gets his man, the actor goes berserk and breaks out his machete to fight back against the mercenary. In his cocaine-and-tiger-blood-fueled insanity, the actor trips and impales himself on his own weapon. As his live-in floozies gather around him, the actor sputters, "Winning!" before dying. Bonus funny points for one of the floozies asking if the actor was "winning" or dying.
- Doggy Styled: Two drunk hunters go hunt ducks with their dog. They try to use dynamite to kill the ducks without shooting them, but the dog mistakes this as a game and returns the dynamite sticks to them, accidentally killing them as it explodes. Made even funnier because it's all from the dog's POV; you can pretty much hear the Looney Tunes theme in the background.
- Withdrawn: A man uses a self-made C4 brace and claims that he is being forced to rob a bank by crooks. He dies because a woman used a wireless car key that had the same frequency as the remote detonation. The CMOF comes with this line from a cop:Cop: Cancel the bomb squad, send the meat wagon.Narrator: Roger that.
- Bull-Heavia: The dictator of a Middle East country gives televised speeches every day denouncing America. In private, however, he is obsessed with American culture and has a private room filled with American memorabilia, including a model replica of Washington D.C and a mechanical bull. One day, his assistant who doesn't know how to work the controls of the bull, accidentally makes the bull go too fast, causing the dictator to fly off the bull and onto the Washington Monument in his model of Washington, which pierces his heart, killing him. This is all a really funny scenario, but the funniest part is when the EMT describes his death, he says that "it (the Washington Monument) went through his heart, causing him to bleed all over Washington D.C."
- Rubbed Out: Jeremy is a germaphobe who practically has a panic attack when a black homeless man digs some leftover coffee from out of his trash and then sneezes all over him. Needless to say, he runs back to his house (while hilariously yelling "Aaaaah! Aaaaah!"), dumps tons of rubbing alcohol in the bathtub and soaks himself in it. It absorbs through his skin, and he becomes intoxicated by the alcohol before instantly dying. This hilarious moment is also notable for being one of the few non-bloody deaths in the series.
- Funny Boned: Chuck is a guy who loves to laugh. He hears a joke that is so funny that he simply can't stop. When he goes there the next day, he is still laughing. By this point, he has been laughing for 36 straight hours, and eventually suffers a heart attack due to the strain on his heart. After his death, we are treated to his angel rising from his body, laughing away.
- Kill Bill & Billie: An abusive husband who suspects that his wife (a former callgirl) is cheating on him hires a hitman to track her, and, if she's seeing someone on the side, kill both the wife and the man she's with. It turns out, however, the husband is not particularly faithful himself, and hires prostitutes three times a week. This week, however, he hires a fourth... who turns out to be his wife, who had been working as an escort behind his back. As they're busy screaming at each other, the hitman walks behind them, shoots them both in the head with a silenced pistol, and just leaves. Oops.
- Died-Zilla: Katie is an ex-drug addict Bridezilla who relapses and snorts bath salts after receiving them as a gift at her bridal shower. Then she has sex with the Best Man right before the wedding ceremony. By the time she is about to marry her fiancé, she succumbs to hypothermia due to the bath salts, collapses at the altar and dies before she can even say "I do". The topper? In a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment at the very end of the segment, you see the groom fist bump one of his groomsmen, clearly relieved that he just avoided an obvious train wreck of a marriage.
- Nun-F***ed: Wally is a wannabe martial arts enthusiast who tries to go viral by showing off his "skills". He breaks boards, bricks, and cinder blocks, weakening his skull with each blow. For his last attempt, he waves around nunchucks until accidentally hitting his skull with them, inflicting fatal brain damage. What sells it is the narrator's ending."Wally was tired of going plastic. Too bad his head wasn't made out of elastic. Guess what, Wally? You're dead, you spastic!"
- Paper or Spastic: Lindy, an extremely obnoxious and ill-tempered woman (who was spoiled rotten by her Chinese family), tries to swindle a store cashier, then starts screaming at the manager when he comes over. You'd think she'd probably have an aneurysm or heart attack from the stress, right? Nope. The scarf she was wearing (and was trying to shoplift) gets caught in the checkout stand's conveyor belt and strangles her to death. The crowner is the nearby janitor's indifferent reaction. Like he didn't just watch someone die.Janitor: Can I go on my break, dude?
- Bitch Zapped: An ill tempered wife tries to show her Henpecked Husband how to properly mow the lawn, only to get electrocuted. What makes it is the husband's reaction:Husband: There is a god!
- Dill Doh!: A retired science teacher stuck in a Bleak Abyss Retirement Home spends his time doing science experiments, much to the ire of the asshole caretaker, Peter. During one experiment involving turning a pickle into a lightbulb, Peter grabs the pickle (including the nails connecting the wires) and gets fatally electrocuted. Like many of these episodes, what makes it is the old guy's reaction:
Funny / 1000 Ways to Die