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  • Admit it, at least some of you deliberately had a blast deliberately choosing mean choices, not being loyal to your friends, threatening enemies without a second thought, and generally being a Jerkass to everyone and everything just because you could.

Season 1 Episode One: Order of the Stone

  • At any point during the game where you're required to choose between the ideas of Axel and Olivia (or, in one case, choose an entirely different one), not doing anything will cause the game to default to Axel's ideas, the Handwave being he's assuming Jesse approves his idea as Jesse never said anything (or never objected).
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  • During the montage where your team gathers materials, there's a moment where Jesse can be seen trying to wrestle a squid.
  • Not doing anything during any part of the game that involves Action Commands will sometimes elect unamused responses from various characters. Sometimes, even Jesse themselves.
  • During the countdown for the start of the Endercon building competition, the camera cuts to Olivia and Axel getting pumped up...then to Jesse smiling and patting Reuben.
  • When you choose the name of your team handshake, you get a non-standard Telltale pop-up:
    No one will remember that.
  • When told by Petra to make a Stone Sword, it's possible to make Jesse do an Epic Fail by crafting a lever instead, much to Petra's bemusement. Even the game itself acts surprised.note 
    You made a lever?!?!
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  • During the intro, Jesse grins at Petra while falling only to turn around and find a creeper about to explode right behind them.
  • When Jesse explores Endercon looking for Ivor, there is a man jumping nonchalantly on a slime block. When the Wither is summoned and starts destroying everything, the same man is still jumping on the slime block as chaos happens around him. The man then gets picked up by the Wither's pulling beam, still keeping the same nonchalant expression on his face.
  • While working your way through the crowd gathered around Gabriel at Endercon, you can hear Aiden ask the exact kind of asinine question you'd hear at an actual convention.
    Aiden: You know with, uh... Ellegaard and the dragon? Like, what was her favorite food?
    (beat)
    Gabriel: Bread. Next question.
  • When Jesse and Reuben's minecart gets flung into the air, a Ghast silently watches it soar by without even bothering to attack. Then the cart violently lands... neatly behind the other ones. Cue blank/disbelieving stares from everyone, including Jesse and Reuben themselves.
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  • After the minecart sequence, one of the options for Jesse's dialogue is a perfect example of Let Us Never Speak of This Again.
    Jesse: You know how you have those experiences you remember and reminisce about for the rest of your life?
    Axel: Yeah?
    Jesse: This isn't one of those. Let's never discuss this ever again.
  • If the player made Jesse raise his/her hands in the air when going down the first drop in the Nether, then when the group has all rejoined and the carts are heading to the exit Nether portal, Jesse can be seen with raised arms again. Axel is the only other one who raises their arms as well, making it kind of funny how similar Jesse and Axel can be.

Season 1 Episode Two: Assembly Required

  • In Ellegard's recruit mission, if Jesse chooses to flip the lever on the old man's contraption, we get this:
    Olivia: Duck!
    Old Man: Watch your language!
  • Ellegaard says that the only way to defeat the Wither Storm is to use the Formidi-Bomb, a rare, almost unseen "Super TNT" of sorts. So what's the shorthand name of this device given by Magnus? "The F-Bomb".
  • If you mess up the button prompt at the entrance of Soren's temple, Jesse will fall off the platforms and end up in the basement area. Moments later, Lukas will abruptly fall from the sky and land in front of you.
    Lukas: ...I heard your voice. Thought I'd come down and help.
  • Talk to Axel in the room of statues and he'll tell you that if he were asked to pose for a statue, he'd at least flex. This prompts him and Jesse to start flexing at each other until Olivia shuts them down with a disapproving glare.
  • when you're with Axel in Boomtown, you may hear this little gem:
    Axel: I would take that cactus with me, but I don't want to stick it in my pants.

Season 1 Episode Three: The Last Place You Look

  • When you warn Olivia not to go down the chasm, the camera pans up to show that you caught her mid-climb and she's now dangling halfway off the ledge.
    Olivia: You're telling me this now!?
  • The Running Gag of Axel falling and always landing on top of Lukas.
    Lukas: That's my body, Axel. My broken, battered body.
  • Practically every other piece of dialogue from Soren the Architect. Special mention goes to his song about his Endermen friends, played in full during the credits.
  • Seeing the Endermen freak out when Jesse takes the block from it is somewhat amusing.
  • If you saved Gabriel, then his responses whenever you ask him if he's alright or when someone mentions how horrible he's progressively looking qualify as this.
    Jesse: You don't look so good.
    Gabriel: Because I look....greeeaat?
    Soren: You look terrible.
    Gabriel: Terribly handsome?
  • During the escape from Soren's house, when discussing how to get past the masses of endermen, Lukas comments on the team's habit of winging it
    Lukas: We need to come up with a plan. And not our usual "We'll come up with a plan when we have to- OH WAIT NOW WE HAVE TO!" kind of plan.
  • Ellegaard's reaction to the approaching Wither Storm if you take her armour.
    Ellegaard: Jesse, you deserve this. What you're doing means WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIE!!!
  • If you tell Lukas that Petra/Gabriel (whoever you pulled from the tractor beam) is sick and then proceed to tell Axel and Olivia the same thing, Axel (if you saved Petra) or Olivia (if you saved Gabriel) will attempt to hug them. Both reject it, and their reaction is priceless regardless of who the would-be recipient is.
    Petra: Nope. Don't want it. Don't need it. Thanks.
    Gabriel: No no! I'm fine! If I wasn't fine, could I do this? (flexes with a big grin on his face)
  • At the beginning of the episode, when the slowness effect wears off, you have the option to tell everyone to say something, resulting in the following.
    Lukas: Hamburger
    Olivia: Donkey
    Gabriel/Petra: Pants
    Axel: (lying face first down on the floor and sounding like he's in pain) Floor
    • A bit of Fridge Logic makes Lukas's word funnier: Hamburgers don't exist in vanilla Minecraft, and most custom items in Story Mode that aren't custom armor are story-relevant, which begs the question as to why hamburgers even exist for Lukas to be able to say that.

Season 1 Episode Four: A Block and a Hard Place

  • Whoever you don't save back in episode one, between Petra or Gabriel, will be found inside the Wither Storm and rescued, but have lost their memory. If it's Gabriel, then after riding away to safety, you may end up with this dialogue:
    Jesse: The Wither Storm did something to [Gabriel].
    Gabriel: (shocked) You mean that thing we just rode on?!
    Jesse: ...no. That was a horse.
  • If Gabriel is the one with amnesia, it leads to some other funny conversations. For example, if Ellegaard is still alive, and you approach them to talk, you have the option of attempting to remind him who she is by calling her the greatest redstone engineer ever. Cue text in the corner:
    Oh yeah. Ellegaard will remember that.
  • Should Gabriel be the one with amnesianote , upon hearing that Ellegard/Magnus is out there fighting one alone:
    Gabriel: If a fellow member of the Order of the... of the, uh...
    Jesse: Order of the Stone.
    Gabriel: ... is out there fighting... then I belong out there too.
    Soren: Gabriel, no! No, I told you, you're not who you think you are!
    Gabriel: My name... IS GABRIEL THE WARRIOR!
    Axel: And... he's running the wrong way.
  • When escaping from the reformed Wither Storm, the whole gang has to quickly build a bridge. And then you see Soren in the background, rapidly decorating it with an elaborate arch.
  • Most of the books in Ivor's collection are about either brewing or crafting, but Jesse will stumble upon a particularly interesting title if s/he looks in the right place.
    Jesse: "Zombies and Pigs: An Intimate Memoir"? I think I'm in the wrong part of the house.
  • During Soren's initial retelling of the fight against the Ender Dragon, Gabriel delivers the final blow against the creature by cautiously poking it in the nose with his sword.
  • When traveling to The Far Lands, you have the choice to ask "Are We There Yet?", steadily annoying Ivor each time.
    • Also, when you get close (and past the title credits), Ivor and Soren are arguing over if it's a good idea to go there. You can choose to say that the Far Lands sound cool. Ivor will turn to Soren and say "See? Jesse thinks the Far Lands are cool!" in a tone much like if a kid were trying to convince his mother of something.
  • When you get the chance to craft a diamond weapon and choose to craft a hoe, this occurs:
    Jesse: Behold my awesome diamond hoe!
    (Rueben starts laughing in the background and Jesse looks slightly embarrassed)
    • This is made funnier by the fact that Reuben is the only one who laughs at the hoe while everyone else thinks it's cool. Especially Axel:
      Axel: That is by far the coolest thing I have ever, ever seen!
  • When the group are fleeing from the regenerated Wither Storm, they run past creatures that are also running from it. One of them is a tiny zombie riding a chicken as if it were a horse.
    • What makes this even funnier is that it frequently happens in vanilla Minecraft, with several other steeds as well... including THEIR ZOMBIE FATHERS.
  • When inside the Wither Storm, you can see the Witherized Ender-Con Usher from Episode 1, screaming in silent terror at a Witherized Chicken.
  • If Gabriel is the one with Wither Sickness and you took Magnus's armor, if you idle after talking to Lukas in the cave, you overhear this exchange.
    Ellegaard: (as Gabriel is coughing) Easy, easy Gabriel.
    Ellegaard: Yeah, and I'm a pufferfish. You're the exact opposite of fine!
  • More amnesiac Gabriel goodness: This exchange when everyone else sees Ivor shortly after you, he, and Soren come up with the new plan to stop the Wither Storm
    Gabriel: (Walks right up to Ivor and holds out his hand for a handshake) Hello, my name is Gabriel!
    Ivor: (Beat, looks toward the others with a bemused grin) Someone pinch me...
  • He's the gift that keeps on giving, really. When everyone's flying across a chasm on a redstone barge.
    Gabriel: Wait...I remember something. Didn't Ellegaard build a machine like this once?
    Soren: (shakily) Yes, in the Nether.
    Gabriel: And you were terrified of flying on it!!
    Soren: What? Stuff and nonsense.
    • One potential response:
    Jesse: Soren, is that true?
    Soren: Of course not! (Cries out in fright)
    Gabriel: (laughs) Well, I supposed I might be mistaken...
    Soren: (groans) I liked you better when you had amnesia.

Season 1 Episode 5: Order Up!

  • The very excited fangirl who repeatedly tries to get the New Order Of The Stone's attention when they return from raiding a temple.
    "Did you see that?! Jesse high fived me. ME! It actually kinda hurt...." [faints]
  • Ivor's uncharacteristic giddiness at the beginning of the second quest.
  • After everyone arrives in the Sky City universe, Jesse has to save Ivor from falling off of a ledge, leading to this exchange after he/she is successful.
    Jesse: You're surprisingly heavy!
    Ivor: (between gasps) I am...the proportionate weight...for my height...thank you very much!
  • The Mass "Oh, Crap!" you can invoke in Build Club if you forgo the crafting table and instead use the iron blocks (and the pumpkin you picked up earlier) to make an Iron Golem.
  • The Reveal that the Eversource is actually just a chicken that lays spawn eggs.
    • This dialogue option in response.
    Jesse: *completely deadpan* "The Eversource is a chicken?"
    Petra: "What."
  • Ivor's almost Precision F-Strike:
    Ivor: That clucking thing is what we came for!
  • Choosing the Potion of Speed in the fifth act of the episode results in Jesse saying "Gotta go fast!".
  • If you send Aiden down the waterfall and tell the others he fell down it, Petra and Ivor's reactions are priceless.
  • If the option that makes Jesse say "Aiden's in a lot of trouble" near the chapter's end is selected, Lukas will say something like "He should be thrown in lava". Everyone stares open-mouthed at him except Ivor, who has a sinister grin of approval on his face.
    • Combine this with his reaction in the above funny moment which is just a mundane "Well, what goes around comes around I guess." (Assuming you saved him when made to choose between him and the Founder) and it sounds like Lukas can hold one heck of a grudge, especially considering the concern he showed for them in Episode 4.

Season 1 Episode 6: A Portal to Mystery

  • Stampy panicking when the White Pumpkin appears.
    Stampy: Panicpanicpanicpanicpanicpanicpanic!
    Stampy: Panicpanicpanicpanicpanicpanicpanicpanic!
  • TorqueDawg's dying last words.
    TorqueDawg: Your name, is a girl's/boy's name. *dies*
  • "I'm too cute to die!"
  • Stampy is a hilarious coward. Most of the lines he says are funny.
    Stampy: And I thought that I was okay because I was numb and feeling no emotions at all, but I'm beginning to suspect it was actually shock.
  • If you try to get everyone to work together Sparklez will say this gem.
    CaptainSparklez: There you go guys! Teamwork makes the dreamwork!
  • Murderer! (Cue Thunder)
    • This gag even happens in a room below ground with no windows, and in the morning when the rain has cleared.
  • When the Order sees all of their portraits for the first time, Lukas's has a clown nose for some reason.

Season 1 Episode 7: Access Denied

  • The intro has the characters going on a bunch of off-screen adventures, many of which you only see the aftermath of, including what is possibly a world made of fire.
    • At one point, Lukas mentions that there's no fire, no squids... and Ivor says "no squids on fire."
  • Some of Ivor's lines make it look like he either is just really impressed with Harper's work, has a crush on Harper...or both.
  • When the main characters are trapped by other humans under PAMA's control, one of the options is to suggest trying to blend in by looking emotionless and "making the noise they make". This isn't funny on its own, but its Lukas' attempts to make said noise that are funny
    Lukas: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
  • After PAMA assimilates Petra and Lukas into his workforce, Harper helps Jesse and Ivor escape. Cornered at a cliff, Jesse can choose between various items to aid in their getaway, one of which is the White Pumpkin head. It results in a game over as Jesse simply puts it on while Ivor stares in utter disbelief. Choosing the Eversource Crown has the exact same result.

Season 1 Episode 8: A Journey's End?

  • Ivor in his underwear when eliminated (his "adventuring clothes" counts as armor and is dropped along with his inventory). Lukas can't help but laugh at it.
  • In the final chapter of the episode, Ivor steals the Atlas and Enchanted Flint and Steel to travel across the Multiverse!
  • It's implied Hadrian brought Reuben back to life...only to find out that he just picked a person named Reuben from Jesse's world. This person also states that he's not a pig.
  • The Stinger shows Hadrian and Mevia in a universe filled with either chicken-sized zombies or zombie-sized chickens, depending on what you chose when Olivia asked which you'd rather fight way back in Episode 1. Mevia proceeds to crack a lame joke about their situation, to Hadrian's annoyance.
  • When everyone's saying goodbye at the end, If you choose to say goodbye to Harper, as she leaves, Ivor will hold up a rose and say "You're amazing." What makes this funny is the fact that his tone of voice sounds like he's trying to mimic one of the robotic-voiced mob heads Harper used to keep her company while PAMA was in control.

Season 2 Episode 1: Hero in Residence

  • When you're first wandering around Beacontown, you come across a pressure plate next to a piston. When you click on it, Jesse will step on the pressure plate, causing the piston to be lifted up to head level and smack Jesse in the face, to which Jesse only looks dumbfounded. The kicker is that you can do this over and over and Jesse never comments on it.
  • A sort of meta on exists in the fact that Petra calls the gaping, seemingly bottomless pit found underground the "Heckmouth", which is obviously supposed to be a Hellmouth. This came after Telltale promised to remove all cussing in Season 2 due to fan complaints.
  • If Jesse chooses to sneak into Stella's treasure room, he and Petra will see Stella swinging around Petra's sword ("Miss Butter") and pretending to be her (revealing Stella as actually being a fan of the New Order). Her reaction to realizing that the real Jesse and Petra are in the room really sells it, as does the fact that she basically hands over the sword without a fuss in exchange for Jesse and Petra keeping quiet.
    • Also, if you choose to fight your way in instead, the resulting fight sequence is also pretty funny. Jesse and Petra have an argument while taking out the guards, and at one point in time, the bodyguard Jesse is fighting mistakenly thinks that Jesse is talking to him, right before being disarmed. Afterwards, Jesse casually Offhand Backhands a beefy bodyguard larger than him-/herself while still engaged with Petra.
  • If you're into Cringe Comedy, tell Petra to "Play it cool" when she's about to meet Jack. For bonus points, Jesse can call her out on her resulting ridiculous behavior after it's all said and done.
  • If you choose to wear Tim's Armor, Petra will act like one of the Tim fans in "A Journey's End?", to Jack's confusion.
  • At the Puzzling Door, if you choose to craft your Prismarine Shards into a Prismarine Block, Petra will replace the Shards you used up and will suggest trying Sea Lanterns instead. If you craft a second Prismarine Block, Petra will give you more Shards, but not before facepalming and giving you an annoyed glare. If you continue to craft more, an angry Petra will just give you the Sea Lanterns you need.

Season 2 Episode 2: Giant Consequences

  • The Admin has quite a few funny moments such as changing the day to night because it's more dramatic. Some of his responses to Jesse' choices of dialogue are also quite amusing:
    The Admin: I wish to speak to Jesse, the Gauntlet-Bearer.
    Jesse: Well quit wishing, Admin. Because I'm right here.
    The Admin: I know. That's why I was, like, looking right at you.
  • The Admin EATS the structure block. And many of the Game Overs during the fight involve him grabbing and eating you.
  • In the Ice Palace, you can win the shooting gallery challenge using a fishing pole.note  Doubles as a Call-Back to Season 1 where there's a similar situation with a dispenser trap.
    • Later on, you're supposed to give Radar a bow to fight off one of the ice golems. If you make the fishing rod instead, he'll just be casting it at the golem over and over.
  • If you hit a civilian in the shooting gallery, it counts as a fail and Jesse is punched in the face. If you fail again, Jesse jumps to the side to avoid the hit... only to get punched anyway because the Admin anticipated this. If you fail for the third time, Jesse gets shot in the shoulder with an arrow.
  • If you join Petra's team for the spider puzzle, at one point Jack will say he's almost got the puzzle figured out, only for a Telltale popup to appear that reads "He has no clue".

Season 2 Episode 3: Jailhouse Block

  • If Jesse stands underneath the announcer long enough, they’ll be able to hear the Admin begin to rant about how he still can't believe that Jesse didn’t want to be his friend and eventually awkwardly realize that he got off-track.
  • When the Admin summons the Warden in an otherwise serious situation, the Warden is in the process of eating a piece of contraband cake which would be funny enough on its own but it's accompanied by this little exchange:
    Warden: Ah... A-Admin! Sir!
    Admin: I'm very disappointed in you, Warden.
    Warden: I'm- I'm, uh... I'm just a nervous eater. I'm sorry.
    Admin: Ugh, no, not that.
  • For some, the fact that the Admin's real name is Romeo.
  • If you sent Jack after the clock, then Petra will be sent to the Sunshine Institute with you. When the Warden is reading off her info, the registry has "sword" as her Favorite Weapon, Favorite Tool, and Favorite Food. The latter in particular gives the name "Miss Butter" a very different meaning.
  • Once you've gotten the ingredients to make Radar something to eat, another inmate will attack you with a wooden sword. Once you disarm him, the Warden will enter and demand to know who the sword belongs to, as weapons are contraband. If you choose to mock the idea that a wooden sword counts as a weapon, the inmate will be insulted. If you try to take the fall, the inmate will get angry at you taking credit for making it. Either way, he basically admits he crafted it even if you try to save him. The latter gets bonus funny points if you chose to join the Warden as an associate to save Radar, as the Warden doesn't bat an eye at the fact that an associate tried to cover for an inmate, and still praises you for catching him.
    Jesse: (If the inmate blows his/her attempt at taking the fall) Real smart, dude.
  • Try keeping your hands off of the keyboard/controller during the intro credits. Watching Jesse stumble and slide his/her way through the maze past all the monsters is nothing short of comical.
  • When everyone's escaping with Prisoner X in the tail end of the episode, if you jump off of Radar's shield but don't hit the spider in time, the death scene is glitched.

Season 2 Episode 4: Below The Bedrock

  • In a Crosses the Line Twice sort of way, the fact that, in a rarity for Telltale, you can actually die early on in the intro sequence. By getting eaten by a giant Enderman of all things.
  • During the intro credits, Radar is chased away by a small zombie, who is chased away by the rest of the gang, who are all chased away by the giant Enderman.
  • Radar's pitiful attempt to take on the giant Enderman. The Enderman actually looks at the camera during the attempt as if it's thinking "Really?"
  • If you're sans sword from an earlier choice when you're confronted by a ninja, you're have to tell the ninja something only Jesse would know to prove you're not an impostor. Two of the choices? "I wear blue underwear" (A Brick Joke from earlier in the Episode) and "Quartz creeps me out" (even though you can use chiseled quartz as a building block in Reuben's monument back in Episode 1.) If you choose the former, the ninja will be momentarily stunned before commenting that your attempt to make him uncomfortable enough to leave isn't working.
  • The whole scene after the ninja is revealed to be Ivor is made of these moments.
    • If you let him finish his tale of how he became a ninja, it parodies Wax On, Wax Off when he all but admits near the end that he was basically tricked into doing his "trainer's" housework.
    • Alternatively, you can cut off his speech by trying to punch him. He effortlessly dodges and proceeds to call you out.
    • If you idle during the next dialogue exchange, we get some banter between Petra and Ivor where Petra claims to have not missed him and not be that happy to see him, while Ivor claims he still sees Petra smiling, which Petra eventually admits if you wait until the last second. If you choose to hug Ivor during this, he'll pull Petra into the hug, to her annoyance.
    • When trying to come up with a cover story for Ivor to tell Romeo to make him think you're out of the picture, if you let the timer run out, Radar will suggest that Jesse was pecked to death by deadly prison parrots. Not only does Ivor love the idea, Romeo buys it.
    Ivor: Yes. I am definitely going with that. And I look forward to getting to know you better.
    • When Ivor tries to escape via a smoke bomb, the others turn around to see him still walking away.
    Ivor: You saw nothing. (Backflips out of view)
    • Finally, we have Petra's initial thoughts on the whole situation.
    Petra: We all just saw that, right? I didn't, like, hallucinate ninja Ivor?

Season 2 Episode 5: Above And Beyond

  • The piston trap from Episode 1 is still in town, but with a twist—instead of getting punched as soon as you step on the pressure plate, you're punched as soon as you step forward off of it. Once again, Jesse has no comment no matter how many times you do this.
  • When coming up with the plan to get to the Admin's tower, Jesse at one point says they're gonna need a distraction. Axel immediately offers to blow up the keynote stage as a distraction and is very dejected when Olivia shoots him down.
  • When putting the "Word of Passage" into the Primary Terminal, which includes putting a poisoned potato into an item frame, putting in a regular potato activates "Parrot Party Protocol."
  • During the resolution, Ivor makes a big show of approaching you. You can choose to poke fun at him by pretending to not see him.
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