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Funny: The Boondocks
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  • The comics have one where, after a whole week of Riley insulting telemarketers and getting caught, Grandad answers the phone and promptly endures several minutes of telemarketing, eventually giving up and telling Riley to abuse away.
  • In the comics, Jazmine disappears as a regular character for a very long time - which is explained as a bout of agoraphobia. When she finally does come back, Huey - being Huey - naturally hadn't even noticed her absence. He even has trouble remembering her name at first.
    Jazmine: "I can't believe this! All this time and you didn't realize I was gone? I guess you were two busy sitting here making mean spirited comments about the world to realize we hadn't seen each other in two years!!"
    Huey: "By the way, did you hear that 'Meth And Red' got canc-"
    Jazmine: "AAAAARGH!" <stomps away>
  • A great deal of Caesar's one-liners - often coupled with an Aside Glance from either Huey or Caesar - or Huey and Caesar's banters back and forth, tend to be very funny. Given how compelling Huey tends to make himself, seeing Caesar diffuse him with a simple Non Sequitur often makes a great punchline. The contrasts between his optimism and Huey's very grim, serious nature are often hilarious.
    • Especially exchanges like this, since Caesar is very good at picking up on Hypocritical Humor.
    Caesar: "Man, it's depressing."
    Huey: "Yeah... it's so hard to laugh, or smile, or be funny."
    Caesar: "Wait... you never laugh, smile or say anything funny."
    Huey: "What's your point?"
    "So it's safe to say we're in a 'glass is half empty' mood today. Isn't that right, Mr. Sunshine?"
    • Or the two of them on the original Fat Albert, which Huey enjoys but Caesar doesn't get.
    Caesar: "I'm so disappointed in Bill Cosby. I am officially offended."
    Huey: "I still think Fat Albert is tight. It could've been a lot worse."
    Caesar: "Maybe you're right. They could've been angry all the time. That's really annoying."
    Huey: "Ha ha."
    • In another instance, Huey once gave everyone he knew the Christmas gift of an hour-long lecture on their flaws, the state of the world, etc - with the exception of Caesar, who was the only person he didn't have a problem with. Nevertheless, Caesar didn't miss the opportunity to get a jab in.
    Huey: "Knowledge is the gift that keeps giving the whole year. So this year I gave people lecture coupons, entitling them to a free one-hour lecture from me."
    Caesar: "So now everyone can know my pain."
    Huey: "Exactly - HEY!!"
  • The whole comic's plot of Huey and Caesar trying to get Condoleezza Rice a man so she won't destroy the world.
  • When Riley forgets to take out the trash one time too many, Granddad gives him the worst punishment he can think of: he forces Riley to go see Catwoman. Everyone involved agrees that this is a punishment far more horrible than the crime.
  • After Ronald Reagan's death, Huey and Caesar have a conversation about selective memory and how idols and important people have their poor traits whitewashed after death. In the end, Huey concludes that it is best to accept flaws for what they are instead of rewriting history, which unfortunately for him leads to this...
    Huey: "When I pass, speak freely of my shortcoming and my flaws. Learn from them, for I'll have no ego to injure..."
    Caesar: "Ok, great. So it's cool if I mention your hair?"
    Caesar: "You'll be dead. Don't worry about it. Yeesh... and then there's your shoes..."
    Huey: (very defensive) "Hey!! What's wrong with my shoes?!"
  • Huey sometimes uses revolutionary rhetoric in very mundane situations, usually to cover what he's really thinking. At one point, he makes an analogous speech to Grandpa about African Americans not appreciating their natural beauty in order to get out of mowing the lawn. And then there's this...
    Huey: "The system has failed us. You can't deny that. When there are systemic problems, you cannot excel with any degree of certainty. Indeed, one is often forced down a path of failure despite one's best efforts. Achievement is no longer a function of talent, cunning or perserverence... there is no justice! No fairness! Our fates are thrown to a structure of rules that are flawed an inconsistent! Let's take, as an example, the election mess in Florida-"
    Riley: (cutting him off) "Huey... there's nothing wrong with your joystick. You're really bad at video games. Get over it."
    • Another time, Caesar tries to get Huey to sled down a really big, very scary hill with him. Huey tries every excuse in the book to get out of it, ultimately going with a spiel about how "extreme sports" and "reckless suicides" are counterrevolutionary and would only play into his enemies' hands. Which results in one of the few instances of Caesar losing his patience.
    • In that same set of strips, there's Huey's earlier attempt to get out of sledding - which has a nice Shout-Out at the end.
    Huey: "Go ahead and call me what you want, but I'm not sledding down this hill. Didn't you hear what happened to Peter Hoffman last week?"
    Caesar: "No... what happened?"
    Huey: "He started sledding down this hill and then WHAM!!!"
    Caesar: (eyes wide) "What? What?"
    Caesar: "Will you please just acknowledge you're being a wuss?"
  • "READ, DUMMY!" Even funnier nut just for the Peanuts reference, but because this is possibly the only time comics Cindy ever gets one over on anybody.
  • The payoff to the plot where Huey is trying to get his family to buy into the Y2K scare along with him. For days he tries to stockpile rations, tries to get Granddad to buy a generator, and in general chides his family for not being prepared while they wave him off. On Dec 31, 1999, he's shown solemnly writing an Apocalyptic Log as the New Year approaches... and then the lights go off. The next strip has Huey totally freaking out, yelling through the house wondering if the nuclear apocalypse has hit yet. We see him randomly swinging a baseball bat around his room when Granddad, laughing his head off, turns the lights back on.
  • Also from the "mowing the lawn" set of strips: Huey vs Procrastination. Huey loses. Repeatedly. But manages to be very poetic about it, regardless.
    Huey: (to himself) Ok, brutal self-honesty time. Your failure to begin this yard work means you're in the midst of a full-scale procrastination attack. Despite my opposition to the task at hand, it is imperative that I get right to work. It's all about diligence and productivity. I know exactly what to do first. Look out, grass!!!
    • And again...
    Huey: (sigh) "This is utterly ridiculous. Being a prisoner to labor is no way to live... that's it! No more procrastination! I'm getting up and cutting this grass. It's time for decisive action! Now I just gotta (yawn) figure out whether to start with the front... or the back. But either way, this is the moment of truth! There's nothing left to think about... here is when focus and discipline come into play... yessir..."
    Huey: "Zzzzz."
  • Another comics example, while masquerading as Huey, the following exchange occurs between Riley and Jazmine.
    Jazmine: Wow, Riley, you look just like Huey.
    Riley: I am Huey.
    Jazmine: Stop playing, Riley!
    Riley: If I'm not Huey then why do I have a big afro and a disapproving glare? Now, bring me all the money in your piggy bank so I can do something smart with it!
    Jazmine: But Huey...
  • Yet another comics example.
    Huey: Wake up. Hey, wake up!
    Riley: Why? It's Sunday.
    Huey: I don't know! Granddad told me to wake you up, so get up!
    Riley: So're my alarm clock now?
    Huey: I guess so.
    Riley: Fine.
    Riley then proceeds to slap Huey in the face, then roll over in bed again.
    Riley: Snooze.
  • From the comics, Grandad finds a pair of underwear sitting on the table while he's cooking dinner.
    "I don't mind crispy lettuce on my table. I don't mind crispy bacon on my table. But what I do mind on my table are someone's crispy, nasty drawers!"
  • The comics where Grandad and Tom go see Brokeback Mountain. They have no idea what the movies really about, they just think its a manly cowboy movie. It's particularly sealed not only by Tom and Grandad running into a gay couple at the theater and not knowing it but by Grandad's reaction when he sees the movie
    Grandad: That's not manly! That's not manly!
  • Riley decides that he hates the cutesy names of the streets, so he renames them. He's worried about getting caught, because he decided to name a street after himself. Even better - just before he gets caught, he manages to trick Cindy McPhearson into getting caught for the crimes anyway.
  • After seeing a news report featuring nude men, Grandad decides to make a video protesting it. He's prepared a graph showing that since George Bush was elected, the number of "nekkid" men on his TV has gone from almost zero to "way too d*** much". He concludes the week of strips by saying "Remember: A vote for George Bush is a vote for nekkid men on my TV. And that's nasty if you ask me."

    Season 1 
  • From the very first episode, "The Garden Party":
    Riley: Why can't we be ourselves? Are you ashamed of us?
    Grandad: Very!

    • Riley shooting Ed III out of the window, and subsequent reaction to Huey's statement about possible repercussions.
    Riley: OH WELL, I shot a nigga!
    • Uncle Ruckus' (No Relation) musical number "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There". It's made even funnier by the fact everyone claps because they "think it's okay when they say it."
      • Funnier still is Uncle Ruckus saying he made up the song, yet he expects everyone to sing along if they know the words.
    • The very first scene sets the bar with Huey's dream of visiting the titular garden party, wherein he reveals to the whites attending that Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, and the government was lying about September 11th; these three truths spark a riot among the partygoers... before Granddad slaps Huey awake and actually knows Huey was "havin' that dream where you made the white people riot."
    • This exchange after Grandad scolds them for drinking all the orange juice:
      • Riley's argument before the above line:
    Grandad: "We don't use the "n-word" in this house!"
    Huey: "Granddad, you said the word "nigga" 46 times yesterday. I counted!"
    Grandad: "Nigga, hush!."
  • "The Trial of R. Kelly":
    • Just when Adam West argues that that's not R. Kelly in the video, not only does he directly face the camera, but he then proceeds to give out his name and social security number. And he's still peeing. Ewwwww...
    • Riley asking R. Kelly for his lawyer's number. When R. Kelly gets out said number, Riley asks him if he washed his hands.
    • Riley's arguement to Tom on why R Kelly shouldn't be found guilty. After which he walks offscreen and shouts back:
    Riley: "And if R Kelly goes to jail, I'll piss on yo cat!"
    • Riley's argument before the above line:
    Riley: "What if Huey was in the bathroom and I was in the bathroom an..."
    Huey: "Why they hell would I be in the bathroom when you're in the bathroom?"
    Riley: "Okay, hold up, hold up. Remember when we were little? From time to time I'd have a little Accident."
    Riley: "Shut up!"
    • And right in between the above two examples:
    Riley: I see piss comin', I move. She saw piss comin', she stayed. And why should I have to miss out on the next R. Kelly album, just for that!?
    (Riley angrily storms off)
    Huey: ... Dang. (faces Tom) You just got beat by an eight-year-old.
  • "Granddad's Fight":
    • The flashback to Stinkmeaners youth, with a perfect summary of his personality being the scene where he stares out on a majestic sunset by the sea.
    Stinkmeaner: Man... this some old bullshit.
    • When Stinkmeaner went blind from cancer at 18, he didnt even care, just telling the doctor "atleast I dont have to look at your ugly face no more".
    • While watching Huey train Granddad, Uncle Ruckusnote  goes on a lengthy tirade about how only whites can possess the capabilities needed for fighting.
    "If Muhammad Ali's so tough, why didn't he go to Vietnam? 'Cause he was scared, that's why! Shoot, 'no Vietnamese ever called me nigger.' I call him a nigger eight times before breakfast!"
    • The buildup to the fight with Huey portraying Stinkmeaner as an expert blind martial artists who's other senses are so fine tuned that he makes his opponents sight a liability. And the reveal that Stinkmeaner only won the first fight because Robert accidently bumped against his cane with his foot when he threw a punch, which even the clumsiest person would see coming.
    • After the fight ends the Onlookers want their money back from Riley due to how fast it ended. Riley then sees a Chair and Remembers what He saw during an awards show where the entire Audience rioted the minute the Chair flew. He does the same, then after two seconds of silence everybody starts rioting.
    Pedestrian: "OH MY GOD A CHAIR!"
  • "Guess Ho's Comin To Dinner"
    • "A Pimp Named Slickback. It's like 'A Tribe Called Quest; you say the whole thing!"
      • Can we call you Slickback for short?
    • The entire Ho conversatio, which results in grandad nearly getting everyone killed killed letting go o the wheel to smack riley.... and then doing it again right afterwords
  • "Date with the Health Inspector"
    • Tom's terrified line:
    Tom: Whatever you do, don't tell my baby Jazmine. I don't want her to know her daddy was somebody's biiiiiitch!
    • Which is followed hilariously when Huey relays the message to Jazmine.
    Huey: Your dad wanted me to tell you he's nobody's bitch. *Jazmine starts crying*
    • Hell, the dream alone was hilarious in terms of the sheer amount of Schadenfreude it provided.
    Prisoner: Soap drop, nigga.
  • "The Story Of Gangstalicious"
    • "Damn Nigga, you short!"
    • Gangstalicious way of talking, he puts "know I'm saying" after every other word
    • The reveal about the gangsters trying to kill Gangstalicious Its a homosexual lover's quarrel
    • "Could you say that again? I couldn't hear you over the sound of me sh$%#in' myself."
  • "A Huey Freeman Christmas"
    • " Dear Santa, you are a bitch nigga! Dear Santa, you are a bitch ASS nigga!"
  • "The Itis"
    • "The state's been trying to buttfuck me on the price. But we'll see who buttfucks who." A line Edward Asner had waited 75 years to receive.
    • (Riley falls out of his chair after eating a monster burger)
    Grandad: It's probably the itis, right?
    Huey: That or insulin shock! Do something - give him CPR!
    Grandad: RILEY, WAKE UP!
    Huey: Yeah, I don't think yellin' at him is gonna work! How do you not know CPR?
    Grandad: I tried to learn it, but they wouldn't let me - 'cuz I was black.
    Huey: WHAT?
    Grandad: Oh, yeah, you all can run around now, learnin' CPR on each other, but when I was young it was illegal to let colored folks learn it OK!
    (Longer Beat)
    Huey: Man, that's not true!
    • This quote:
    Chico: You know, he's right - the African Americans only got to eat the parts of the pig that the white owners didn't want to eat. -picks up intestines- I don't think people are really supposed to eat this. Or at least not so much.
    Huey and Grandad Blank Stare
    What? I'm not allowed to take an Afro-American culture class at the community college?
    • Huey's summary of the movie, Soul Food.
    Huey: (narrating) "Soul Food" is a movie aboout a big, humongous black grandmother, aptly named 'Big Mama'. Big Mama demonstrates her love by feeding herself and her offspring, enormous amounts of pig lard. Then, get this - Big Mama's arteries are so clogged, they had to amputate her arm...
    Granddad: (interrupting) It was her leg!
    Huey: (annoyed) All right, okay, whatever, her leg. Then, she dies of a heart attack...or another stroke...or something.
    Huey: And what does the family do after she dies? They get together for a Sunday dinner eating the same food that just killed Big Mama. THE SAME FOOD! They didn't learn a lesson; nobody went on a diet! ...And that's the end of the movie.
  • The entirety of "Let's Nab Oprah".
    • The beginning sequence where Ed Wuncler III and Gin Rummy seem to be casually discussing the issue of text messaging before practicing robbing a bank.
      Gin Rummy: So basically nigga technology is anything that doesn't plug into a printer. Does that plug into a printer?
      Ed: No.
      Gin Rummy: Know why? 'Cause niggas never have anything to print.
    • "I sent that bitch a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces."
    • "SWIM, BITCH!"
    • In the end, they kidnap Bill Cosby, only to return him fifteen minutes later because he's really annoying.
    • While attacking a bookstore in search of Oprah:
      Rummy: (to three old ladies) Tell me where that bitch is. You better tell me where Oprah is on the count of 3 o-o-o-or I'm gonna kill the oldest bitch up in here!! (ladies look at the oldest woman)
      Old Lady #3: That's real f**ked up Agnes!
  • "Riley Wuz Here":
  • "Wingmen":
    • When Huey gets hit by Cairo:
    Riley: YOU GOT KNOCKED DA(Granddad glares at him) Nevermind.
  • "The Passion Of Ruckus":
    • A character is sentenced to death in a flashback. His reaction?
    Brother Shebaz: Well ain't this a bitch.
    • After Huey talks to Shebaz it cuts to the next window over where Riley is talking to a Prisoner he knew about a friend that's not talking to him anymore.
    Prisoner: "I think there's someone else."
    Riley: "Hell nigga, You gay."
  • "Riley wuz Here": The Dissonant Serenity of Riley's painting instructor as they're being pursued by the police.
    Teacher: It's the police. I don't actually like the police very much.
    Riley: Me neither!
    Teacher: Great. Then what I'm going to do is drive really fast, so we can get away from them. Are you ready, Riley?
    Riley: Oh yeah!
    Teacher: That's great.

    Season 2 
  • "Or Die Trying"
    • The trailer for "Soul Plane 2"
  • "Tom, Sarah and Usher"
    • When it's believed that the wife of Tom Dubois is going to leave him for the entertainer Usher, Robert protests that it's a lesser profession than Tom's. The kids explain that he means Usher the singer. Robert, still not getting it, says that ushers can't sing or you can't hear the movie.
    • Tom singing "Burn" in "Tom, Sarah, and Usher". Riley and Grandad's reaction.
    Riley: Boooooooooo. Hey Tom shut the fuck up!
    Grandad: Boy watch your mouth. Tom, shut the fuck up!
  • "Thank You For Not Snitchin'"
    • Riley's Laser-Guided Karma at the end. Especially with how silly Ed and Rummy look both whooshing around the neighborhood on Riley's bike.
    Rummy: "Thank you for not snitchiiiin'!"
    Ed: "...ya stupid motherfucka!"
    Rummy: <Evil Laugh>
  • Stinkmeaner Strikes Back: The episode carries Refuge in Audacity even further than most Boondocks episodes.
    • "LOOK AT YA! You was poppin' all that gooood shit a second ago! Then you got KICKED IN YO CHEST! YOU eat a dick, nigga! YOU eat a dick!"
    • We have this little gem.
    White Attorney: (to the elderly woman in the stand seat) So Mrs. Wong. (changes to various clips of the elderly woman beating a black man and driving his car). There you were, not carjacking Mr. Fitzmalley, beating him senseless with a 9-Iron, stealing his wallet and driving his car into the hosiery section of the JC Penney.
    • The entire scene where Tom tries to ask Mrs. Wong for information regarding her assault:
    Tom: Now, Mrs. Wong... let me ask you a question—
    (Tom's face goes into a series of frantic convulsions, as he starts growling incoherently; a slight build-up of music follows, until Stinkmeaner, now possessing Tom, cuts him off with...)
    Stinkmeaner!Tom: Wut's good, nyukka!?
    (the entire jury gasps at Tom's outburst, as does Tom himself, who is now back to normal)
    Juror: Mr. Dubois!
    (Tom tries laughing it off)
    Tom: Excuse me. (clears throat) what I meant to say was...
    (again, Tom starts growling and twitching as Stinkmeaner possesses him)
    Stinkmeaner!Tom: Wut's really good!?
    • When possessed Tom is tied upstairs while Grandad has a date.
    Tom: Did you tell her you have two sets of genitals Robert?! A vagina and a coochie!! How does that work?!
    • Granddad's date storming out:
    Granddad's date: It's not the fact that you obviously have a man possessed by an evil spirit tied to a bed upstairs!
    Granddad: It's not?
    Granddad's date: No. [[Beat]] It's the fact that you lied about it.
    • We can't forget the entire exorcism, courtesy of Uncle Ruckus (no relation).
    Uncle Ruckus: (Holds up a book) Read, nigga, read!
    Tom: (Screams in pain and terror)
    • "We must use the tools the white God gave us to fight niggers: a whip, a noose, a nightstick, a branding iron. These are the things that strike fear into a nigger's heart. A job application!"
    • Possessed Tom in general is a CMOF itself. Especially when he meets Sarah.
    Tom: Oh yeah! I think I want to have sexual relations!
    Sarah: Tom? What's gotten into you?
    Tom: The same thing that's about to get into you! (scene switches to their bedroom window from the outside) OH YEAH! I'MA MAKE IT DO WHAT IT DO!
  • "The Story of Thugnificant"
    • "Eat a sack of baby dicks, muthafucka!"
    • Riley becoming more and more starstruck for Thugnificent and ultimately becoming a total sycophant, particularly how the whole time he insists that he isn't.
    • The result of Thugnificent slamming Grandad in his video is a nationwide epidemic of old people abuse by teenagers and kids.
    • The revelation that Riley forged Roberts signature on an application allowing Thugnificent to throw a huge loud party across the street. The killer? He signed it "Grandad"
  • "Invasion of the Katrinians"
    • This exchange:
    Jericho: What would your mama say, if she knew you was throwing out your family?
    Robert: She'd say "Get them broke ass niggas the fuck out!"
  • "The Story of Gangstalicious 2"
    • When Riley is convinced he's gay because his favorite rapper is, Huey proceeds to go with it just to get his own room, while Grandad comes in to comfort Riley and the two proceeded to hug and cry.
    • Huey and Riley arguing over whether Gangstalicious is gay:
    Huey: You're the one who said he kissed another man!
    Riley: What I had said was them dudes knocked me upside my head and I dreamed he kissed another man!
    Huey: How often do you have dreams about men kissing?
    • The ridiculously homoerotic video for Gangstalicious "Homies Over Hoes" song, as well as the tie-in fashion line, which includes a pink sports bra for men, and a long white t shirt with the ass cut out.
  • "The Uncle Ruckus Reality Show"
    • BET Headquarters
    • Uncle Ruckus receives the results of a genetics test.
    Ruckus: Oh, n-no. This can't be! It s-says I'm one hundred and two percent African! With a two percent margin of error! Why? WHY, LAWD, WHY?!?
    • The president of B.E.T has her elite mooks Big Nigga and Crazy Bitch brutally murder one of her staff because his show ideas for the network wasnt sufficiently evil.
    • Tom trying to explain what Roots is to Ruckus, and Ruckus htinking its some sort of gardening show.
    • Ruckus trying to commit suicide and the camera team not realizing they were supposed to STOP the star of the show from killing himself until Reggie barges in and spells it out for them.
    • Ruckus attempting to mimick what he thinks is African American lifestyles. It does not go well.

    Season 3 
  • "It's A Black President Huey Freeman"
    • Whenever Werner Herzog delivers ridiculous lines in his typical deadpan:
      "I felt my sphincter clench and my scrotum contract in shock at his response."
      "I felt despair so terrible that I briefly consider slitting my own wrists, or bludgeoning myself about the head with a steel pipe or baseball bat. But I brought no blade, no pipe, no bat."
      "In Bavaria, we have a saying: Der Junge ist ja total bedient. It means, “This is the most depressing fucking kid I've ever met in my life."
      • And no. Before you ask, no such saying exists in Bavaria. Nor is that the correct translation of that phrase. It actually means; "the boy is so totally controlled".
      "I cannot tell if Robert is either a pathological liar or merely suffering from the early symptoms of dementia"
    • Dick Ridin' Obama. ESPECIALLY when they show a random shot of George Clooney dancing. Though the entire thing needs to be seen to be fully appreciated.
    • The documentarian's conversation with Tom after Sarah leaves for the inauguration.
      Werner Herzog: Are you afraid your wife will have lusty sex with the president?
      Tom: What? That's not even possible.
      Herzog: I didn't ask if it was possible. I asked if you were afraid. I cannot help but notice that you seem to be a less powerful, less wealthy and less attractive version of him. Truly, it is understandable if you are concerned.
    • Also, when Granddad gets to the Inauguration, only to find out that Obama gave everyone a VIP ticket. When he tries to get in anyway, he recites the epic Real Life Memetic Mutation "Don't tase me bro".
  • "Bitches to Rags"
    • "Crank that Artichoke" "Bitches to Rags".
    • Leonard saying, in all seriousness, that he would have to work 82 hours a day to pay the bills on Thugnificent's house, "so I asked my manager for some overtime."
    • "Bitches To Rags" has Thugnifcent trying to deal crack cocaine. First he makes crack using instructions from music video and Wikipedia. Then his first customer is a stereotypically British black cokehead. This alone is one crowning moment of funny, and then it's followed up by a fanboy who spots him for who he is. Hilarity Ensues.
    Thugnificent: I'm not Thugnificent. I'm an ordinary crack dealer.
  • "The Red Ball":
    • Gin Rummy going "Sam Fisher" on the crooked ref.
    Ed Wuncler Sr.: Tragically, we just received word that the ref strangled himself, jumped off a bridge, then overdosed on amphetamines.
    • Тhe little girl that Huey thought he injured for life revealing herself as all fine and dandy by busting out various dance moves.
  • "The Story of Jimmy Rebel":
    • This conversation.
      Grandad: I think I miss Ruckus. Does that mean there's something wrong with me?
      Huey: Yeah.
    • The ending - Jimmy, tired of just writing songs about hating black people, tells Ruckus there's other things to sing about: brews, good friends, good times, love. Cut to the two singing a song about deportation too offensive to quote here.
  • "Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy"
    • When the toilet breaks and Bushido Brown hints at a unfavorable consequence if it is not repaired soon, resulting in this hilarious quote from Robert.
    Robert: Nigga, did you just tell me to wipe yo' ass?
    • Bushido Brown having his head cut off followed by what Stinkmeaner said early popping up on screen (while he laughs):
      Stinkemeaner: It's a beautiful day to fuck shit up!
      • The aforementioned set-up to the above joke itself, in which Stinkmeaner gives an overly verbose lecture on nigga synthesis (like a nigga moment, but with bonding instead of conflict), then summarizes it up with this equation:
      Stinkmeaner: Now, when a nigga moment collides with a nigga synthesis, you get a complete fuckin' disaster! Remember this equation. You will need it later, nigga!
    • Followed by the reaction to above.
      Huey, Riley, and Robert:(in unison) OH SHIT!
  • "Smokin' with Cigarettes":
    • Anytime somebody says "Smoking with Cigarettes" from the episode of the same name.
    • The bit towards the end of where Uncle Ruckus bursts in right as Lamilton is strangling Riley.
      Just two niggas killing each other. Proceed.
    • Grandad asking Huey to bring his pistol with the silver bullets and the stake when he finds out Lamilton is loose.
    • Huey calmly eating popcorn while we can plainly hear Grandad beating the hell out of Riley in the background.
    • Huey's response when Lamilton's grandmother says that Riley is the best friend Lamilton's ever had.
      Huey: Man, that kid is more troubled than I thought.
  • "The Fundraiser"
    • Several thugs are muscling Riley's staff out of business. Except Cindy who just knees the guy in the crotch.
  • "Pause" has several:
    • The whole Rocky Horror Picture Show number.
    • Huey's breakdown of how a Tyler Perry Winston Jerome movie works.
    • The whole "no homo" discussion between Robert and Riley.
    • "These niggas iz too glistenin'." Said by Riley when his punches just slide off the lotioned up actors.
  • "A Date with the Booty Warrior":
    • "All in favor of adding white bitches to the list of demands? Motion carried."
    • The end of the otherwise rather serious discussion between Tom and Sarah.
      Tom: My anus is gonna be fine and I'm gonna make sure those young boys' anuses are gonna be fine too!
      Sarah: Pause.
    • The opening is a thing of beauty that takes Black Comedy Rape to an art form. The "Booty Warrior," a character based on a real life criminal, enters a house posing as an internet pedophile. When Chris Hansen shows up like a typical To Catch a Predator episode, The Booty Warrior proceeds to tell him he's here for HIM and then proceeds to rape him on camera.
    • The inmates describing anal sex and rape in prison. One thing that stands out is an inmate being attracted to Tom.
      Inmate: What's your name fine motherfucker?
      Tom: I, um, don't think that's—
      Riley: Tom!
      • Preceding the above:
    Inmate: "Now when I rape you, I try to make you enjoy it. See you don't have to like it but..."
    (Beat as inmate stares at Tom)
    Tom: O_O
    • The inmate's reaction to Huey's infodump about the prison system:
      Inmate: [beat] Nigga, did you just say what I was tryin' to say, but smarter?!
    • "It's my God-given right, to get bitches!"
    Huey: "I don't think that's a God-given right to an inmate. Or anyone for that matter."
    Inmate: "Okay. But it IS my God-given right to ask for bitches!
    • When Sarah answers the phone:
    "You have a collect call from: (Inelegant Blubbering from Tom). Do you accept?"
  • From "The Story of Lando Freeman":
    Riley: You shoulda stuck with your story!
    Grandad: There was a DNA test!
    Riley: Well study next time!
    *Huey gives Riley a Dope Slap using a book*
    • Grandad introducing Lando to the kids:
    Grandad: And I hope this'll teach you kids to always wear a condom. I know I will. In fact, I'm wearing one right now.
    (Kids squick)
  • The whole of "Lovely Ebony Brown", from Ruckus' usual views being amusing to her, to the boys' polarized reactions to Granddad wanting to dump Ebony out of paranoia that she is just as crazy as his other exes:
    Huey: Don't be a hypocrite, granddad.
    Riley: Be a hypocrite, granddad!
    • Speaking of crazy exes, there's the montage of Robert's ex-girlfriends - a drug lord from the Dominican Republic who brought her own armed guard to the table, a woman who kidnapped Riley because she was obsessed with him, and a psychotic doctor who put Robert in a bathtub filled with ice and tried to harvest his kidneys (but not before Huey and Riley tackle her). No wonder when Robert tells them that he's got a new girlfriend, the boys' first reaction is to grab some weapons and make a break for the car.
    Huey: "Your dating habits have been a serious threat to the safety of you, the people of this house..."
    Riley: "... and really the entire neighborhood."
  • "Mr. Medicinal":
    • Grandpa munching cheerios.
    • When Grandad gets addicted to smoking weed, one of the special varieties he smokes is called "Skywalker". We then see him literally floating in the air the next scene. Adding more humor to this is the fact that the person who sold the "Skywalker" weed to Grandad is voiced by Mark Hamill, a.k.a. Luke Skywalker.
    • Jazmine seeing Granddad naked and proceeds to scream in terror about thirty seconds later.
      • "You scarred my baby for life, Robert!"
    • "Granddad! Stop snitchin."
    • Everything involving high Robert in general is absolutely golden, but it doesn't get much funnier than the cheerio scene, or Roberts reaction when Officer Douche's name is pronounced exactly the way you'd think.
  • "The Fried Chicken Flu":
    • "I thought we were gonna tag team that ass!"
    • Thugnificent's friend thinking buffalo wings weren't chicken.
    • "Robert it's us... remember all the wacky adventures we've had together? Don't leave us to die!"
    • Everyone shoving Ruckus out of the house.
    • "They've got a cup that you pee in and then it makes the pee drinkable. It still tastes like pee but you get the picture."
    • "Don't be dying in my trunk!"
    • "WOO! Ride on, Robert! I love you, man! (looks at Ruckus and co. crawling out of a crashed bus and dressed like something out of Mad Max.) The fuck y'all wearing?
    • Tom and Sarah's faces when Huey scans them for signs of the "virus".
    • Obama's ridiculous speeches saying nothing.
  • "The Color Ruckus":
    • The scene where Ruckus gets thrown out by his father is one-third Tear Jerker, one-third Narm Charm, and one-third insanely funny physical comedy.
    • "Maybe we could get some hounds to get them out of here. Riley! Google hounds!"
    • Ruckus' momma, after her husband dies.
    "Finally! Now I can marry my white lover!"
    • "Bye momma. Bye momma's white lover."
    • "Nigga! Did I catch you tryin' to be shit?" *SLAP!* "GAWD HAVE MERCY! MY BABY!"
    • "Nigga, did I just catch you havin' fun!?!" *SLAP!* "GAWD HAVE MERCY! MY BABY!"
    • The montage of Mister getting the hell beaten out of him by white people. Especially the part where he's lifted into the air and gets his back broken over a white man's knee after opening a car door for him.
  • "It's Goin' Down" opens with Jack Flowers interrogating a detainee via Groin Attack.
    • The fates of all of Jack's girlfriends.
    • Uncle Ruckus stomping a security guard in the nuts, to the tune of "Stomp 'Em in the Nuts".
    "Sir, do not make me use Enhanced Interrogation Techniques!"
    • It's amazing how much humor Ed Asner can cram into a single word....
    Jack Flowers: Don't you have enough money?!
    Wuncler: (Bluntest voice possible) No.

    Season 4 
  • "Pretty Boy Flizzy":
    • Ruckus' tirade against blacks when the news reporter confirms the title character will be at Woodcrest, which culminates in this statement:
    "Who keeps giving these high yellow felons record contracts!? "Oh, it's just a record," you say— well white folks, you won't be saying that when the nigga that's singing on that record comes to town, and impregnates all the white woman of child-bearing age— and that is exactly what he plans to do! Just think of all that government money and food stamps that go to those mixed race, quadroon nigga children will be consuming, and they consume a whole lot then regular children 'cause they'll be eating for TWO races!"
    • Tom trying to call Sarah out for her attempts at asking Tom to get Flizzy to perform at Jazmine's birthday:
    "You want to meet him, and do him!"
    "You want to unh him! You want to unh him all night!"
    • After Sarah kicks him out of the house for the night, Tom tries to find shelter at the Freemans' residence, but Granddad gets Huey and Riley to set the house up as if no one's there, forcing Tom to sleep on their lawn. He wakes up to Huey parachuting a Pop-Tart down to him, with Huey asking to keep it a secret.
    • After Tom learns Flizzy faked the robbery, Tom questions him on if all the other shenanigans Flizzy had since indulged in been faked.
    Tom: What else was fake? Were the Nicaraguan guns fake? Did you really even beat Christianna!?
    Flizzy: Don't you ever question whether or not I beat Christianna. (proudly) I whupped that bitch's ass!
    • Everything involving "I Will Do Your Wife"
    Tom: Oh no, I know where this goes. I'm not going to let you do my wife!
    Flizzy: Tom i'd never do your wife.
    Tom: You have a song called "I Will Do Your Wife"!
    • And the scene that calls back to it:
    Huey: You know he's got a song called—
    Tom: "I Will Do Your Wife", I know.
    Huey: But he's also got a song called "White Wife Booty."
    Tom: ... what!?
    • Flizzy's excuse to every single crime he is accused of.
    Flizzy: I was fucked up!
    • The autotune of "I Will Do Your Wife" playing in the credits.
  • "Good Times":
    • The Good Times tune playing throughout the episode, always at the most ironic moments. Made even better when the Freemans start hearing it and are trying to figure out where the hell it keeps coming from.
    • We finally meet Ed Wuncler the Second along with his assistant Vanderbilt. The scene ends with this hilarious bit.
    Vanderbilt: (under his breath) Everything will NOT be fine. You want to get out of this. Fake your deaths. You hear me? Fake your deaths!
    • Vanderbilt's increasing disdain every time Granddad signs something without reading it.
    • We find out that between season 3 and 4 Uncle Ruckus is not only started running for mayor, he ran for president and almost won.
  • "Breaking Granddad":
    • The cold open, and the scene in the episode proper, in which Granddad comes out of a mobile home with no pants, pistol in his hand:
    Granddad: (having told Huey and Riley to flee the scene) Imma stand out here in the middle of the road, in my drawers, with this gun until the man comes. And then imma go out like a motherfuckin' g!
    Riley: (turning to face Granddad before leaving with Huey) 'Ey, Granddad! ... you look gay.
    • When Huey explains his wave cream is actually an explosive compound as part of a plot to kill Wuncler II, Granddad calls him out on it.
    "Boy, for a smart nigga, you sure got some dumbass ideas."
    • The explanation on the hazardous materials in popular hair products for female afro-americans:
    "This one turns your brain green. This one contains plutonium. This one is acid. Just acid."
    • The haircuts of the two woman who were caught at the airport. The one that looks like a palmtree was the more sensible one.
  • "Early Bird Special":
    • The opening exchange when Granddad and Riley come to a disagreement over the new clothes he and Huey are supposed to wear:
    Huey: (in response to Granddad taking out his belt to whoop Riley) Granddad, you're just beating him as an excuse to vent out your own unhappiness!
    Granddad: That's what kids are for!
    • Granddad's brief stint as airport security, in which he tackles a man to the ground and strangles him over a bottle of shampoo.
    • Geraldine's rant about life in a retirement home, starting with a woman being mugged over a cookie and containing gems such as:
    "I asked my son if he could come visit and he told me, 'I can't, ma; I'm busy.' Yeah, he was busy alright, snatchin' a purse!"
    "Our boys, age 30 to 50; stuck on stupid and fastened to fuck up!"
    "(handing Granddad a contract) Make sure to read the part that says we get to cap yo' ass if you don't bring us our money at 4:30 on the dot."
  • "Freedom Ride or Die"
    • Sturdy, the borderline suicidal leader of the Freedom Riders. Who drives Robert up the wall.
    Robert: You can't get prepared to get lit on fire!
    • This quote, which is said in a completely serious tone.
    'Julian Bond:' In defense of Robert, the strategy of non-violent direct action when you actually think about it, is completely insane.
    • The reason Robert was on the bus in the first place - He was running from an angry bus station attendant for messing up the Whites Only mens room.
    • One of the Freedom Riders noting the random slurs they were called.
    Harold: Nigger, nigger lover, moon cricket, freelance honey badger...freelance honey badger? I think they were just making up words after a while.
    • Robert and Ruckus' reactions to finding out the other was at Birmingham.
    Robert: Wait you mean Ruckus was at the Birmingham station? All this time I didn't know that! That black son of a bitch, boy I'm going to have to kick his ass when I see him.
    Ruckus: Robert Freeman was there? (wistfully chuckles) Ain't that somethin... small world.
    • Ruckus cheerfully calling the moment Bull Connor called him to help attack the Freedom riders "The happiest moment of my life."
    • Ruckus somehow inverting the plot from Speed decades before the film was made.
  • "Granddad Dates A Kardashian"
    • The very apt warning the Woodcrest Health Board put up for the ass procedure.
    Y'all Hoes Gonna Die
    • Robert and Beach arguing over who the sidekick is while beating up the doctor.
    • Robert and Kardashia's confessional.
  • "Freedomland"
    • Uncle Ruckus comes to the Freemans to make them see Wuncler Jr., showing that he's ready to handcuff Granddad and take him by force. Cut to Granddad tossing Ruckus' handcuffed ass out of the house.
    • After the Freemans and Tom and forced into living at Freedomland against their will, Tom makes a big speech about how they're all in this together... until Ruckus comes and says that Sarah bought his freedom, Tom then immediately runs off.
    • When the slaves finally rebel.
    Uncle Ruckus: "Mr. Wuncler, this is worse than The Planet Of The Apes"
  • "I Dream Of Siri"
    • Nearly everything Siri does to make Granddad's life a living hell.
    • She recognizes Huey as the "the visionary domestic terrorist."
    • Granddad submits to Siri completely with one of the reasons being that she controls his Facebook.
    • Uncle Ruckus speech at Robert ann Siri's "wedding"
    • The text epilogue at the end.
  • "Stinkmeaner: Begun the Clone War Has"
    • Clone!Stinkmeaner explaining the recipe for a Nigga Moment in a cooking show format.
    Stinkmeaner: After that, add 25 years of Thug Rap, the movie Scarface which teaches irrational thinking, and don't forget to tie it back to crack.
    • Stinkmeaner meekly surrendering at the end of the fight, pointing out that as a clone, he has no actual personal anomosity towards Grandpa Freeman.
    • Stinkmeaner reducing his harassment of Robert to standing on the curb outside and yelling at him from the sidewalk.
    • Grandpa slowly turning into Stinkmeaner during his training.
  • "The New Black"
    • Rallo Goodlove noting how the F-word is censored, but they can say "Nigga" a lot.
    Riley: Thank God for uncensored DVD's.
    • The various special interest groups reveal that they essentially exist solely to leech money from eachother.
    • The head of the Specially Abled People's group not only being an absolute mountain of a man, but is able to whip up an amazing pencil drawing inbetween scenes.
    • Riley complaining that "specially abled" applies to ninjas or Luke Skywalker, not people with disabilities.
    • Rollo Goodlove complaining that the Gay Rights group stole his entire business plan of how to get people to pay you off.

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