Melfi: That’s the mystery, isn’t it? The mystery of God or whatever you want to call it and why we’re given the questionable gift of knowing that we’re gonna die.
Christopher and Brendan return the stolen truck full of men's suits to Comley Trucking. They tell the incredulous supervisors that it's a gift from Tony Soprano, and drive off laughing. Chris calls his partner out again for stealing the truck and tells him that Junior is bearing down on Tony because of it.
In a fancy restaurant, Junior and Mikey are discussing the truck situation. Junior is shocked and angered when Mikey reveals that Comley is grateful to Tony instead of him, and they agree that something needs to be done about Chris and Brendan.
Tony goes for another appointment at Melfi's. After railing at her about what he believes to be a deliberate psychological test in the form of a painting outside her office, he reveals that Jackie Aprile Sr. has cancer and is in the hospital. He's more shocked by it than he lets on. The crew goes to visit Jackie in the hospital and discuss current business before he becomes fatigued and asks them to leave.
Meadow and her friend, Hunter Santangelo, become stressed out after their school schedules an SAT test and their concert recital on the same day. They agree to study as much as possible before the test, even if it means forgoing sleep. They end up begging Chris for speed so that they can cram for the tests. After some rationalizing from Adriana, he agrees to give it to them on the condition that they never tell anyone about it and don't do it again.
After seeing Melfi, Tony and Carmela drive over to Artie Bucco's new house to congratulate them. Artie thanks him and rails about how the insurance company investigating the Vesuvio explosion thinks it might be arson, much to Tony's surprise and anger.
Tony and the crew go for a meeting later at Satriale's with a Hasidic Jew (and friend of Silvio's) named Shlomo Teittleman. He asks the group to help him force his son-in-law into giving up his share of the business by divorcing his wife and will gift 25% of his business to Tony in return. Despite the reservation of Teittleman's son Hillel (and Hesh Rabkin), Tony goes ahead with a plan to coerce the son-in-law.
Silvio and Paulie go to meet the son-in-law, Ariel. Despite beating him over the head and telling him to give up the business, he refuses to budge.
That night, Carmela tells Tony that she wants to organize a fundraiser at their home to raise money for a pediatric hospital, much to his exasperation. She also wonders if arson was involved in the Vesuvio explosion. Tony changes the subject quickly. The next day, she enlists Artie and his wife Charmaine to help plan the fundraiser.
Tony goes back to Jackie Sr. at the hospital and they talk about recent events. Jackie is surprised when a nurse comes into his room and starts pleasuring him. They both burst out laughing when he realizes that the "nurse" is a stripper from the Bada Bing, and Tony leaves them alone soon after.
The next day, he goes back to Melfi's and tells her about him giving Jackie the gift. She probes into the circumstances behind Jackie's cancer and reasons that it may be inoperable. Tony blows up at her and accuses her of being a quack before storming out again.
Artie and Charmaine are in their kitchen cooking when he calls her out for supporting the Sopranos' fundraiser after refusing the Caribbean cruise tickets from Tony. He reveals that Tony offered to front some money for the construction of a new restaurant, much to her exasperation.
That night, they hold the fundraiser with great success, while Artie airs out his frustrations to Tony over a Food Fight. At the same time, Silvio and Paulie kidnap Ariel and beat him up.
Ariel remains adamant. After the party, Tony goes to sleep with his mistress, Irina. However, he's distracted when Silvio calls to tell him about the situation and leaves to handle things. Tony goes in his bathrobe to Satriale's and rails at Ariel for his stubbornness. After calling Hesh for advice, Tony threatens to castrate Ariel, and the latter relents.
Carmela and Charmaine are cleaning up the house after the fundraiser. When Carmela thanks both her and Artie for their help, Charmaine, annoyed that Carmela treated her like a servant earlier (along with her general condescending attitude), reveals that she once slept with Tony when he and Carmela weren't dating. Carmela stares in shock as Charmaine leaves.
Tony goes back to meet Teittleman, who attempts to renege on their deal and give him 15% instead of 25%. Tony threatens him to keep his end, and Teittleman criticizes him as a "living golem" before storming off in a rage.
Afterward, Tony goes back to see Jackie, who is looking much worse than the last time he saw him. Tony is taken aback by his condition and realizes that Melfi was right. He goes back to her office and tells her about what happened. He cries after telling her, and she reasons that those kinds of situations are one of the great mysteries in life.
Junior heads over to Green Grove to hang up portraits for Livia and tells her about the situation with Chris and Brendan. She reasons that both Tony and her love Chris like a son, but have no such regard for the latter. She advises him to send a message, and he agrees.
Tony and Carmela attend Meadow's recital that night. At the same time, Christopher is buying pastries when he's accosted by two Russian thugs, who beat him and stage a mock execution as he begs for his life. Elsewhere, Brendan is sitting in his bathtub when Mikey appears and executes him.
As Mikey walks out, Junior looks on smugly...
Tropes:
- Actor Allusion: Chuck Low plays Shlomo Teittleman. Shlomo learns to his shock and horror that approaching Tony with his proposition has become a Deal with the Devil that he will regret from that day onwards. Chuck Low also played Morrie Kessler in GoodFellas, who approached Jimmy Conway with the idea and intel for the Lufthansa heist. And that arc in GoodFellas plays out pretty much the same way, with the only difference being that Shlomo doesn't get outright killed. The way Tony carries himself in locking Shlomo into the deal, like it or not, is also very reminiscent of how Conway dealt with Morrie after the Lufthansa heist.
- Affectionate Nickname: Carmela refers to Hunter as "Cacciatore".
- Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Christopher, during the mock execution.
- Armor-Piercing Question:Melfi: Do you feel like Frankenstein?
- Aside Glance: Hunter gives Meadow one just before they give their solos at the concert recital.
- Because You Were Nice to Me: Chances are Chris might have joined Brendan in death had he not previously put up storm windows for Livia.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Charmaine.
- Blatant Lies: Meadow covers for Chris, who just sold her crystal meth when Carmela comes to her room. She tells Chris that Hunter says no to Brendan's request for a date, and Chris rolls with it before leaving.
- Casanova Wannabe: Brendan. Just the thought of it is enough to turn the stomachs of both Meadow and Hunter.
- Cassandra Truth: Shlomo's own son Hillel tries to warn him that getting assistance from Tony will amount to a Deal with the Devil, and once made he'll never be rid of the mobsters from the motel business. Shlomo dismisses him with contempt. But the son turns out to be right with a vengeance.
- Ceiling Banger: Meadow and Hunter are playing music way too loud, prompting longer and louder "HEEEEYYY!"s from Tony, who pounds the wall as he shouts.
- Condescending Compassion: Carmela really comes across this way towards Charmine. She gets "The Reason You Suck" Speech in return.
- The Consigliere: Mikey to Uncle Junior. But he's not very good at it, owing to his tendencies to always think Murder Is the Best Solution.
- Cultural Posturing: Goes both ways while the gang is working Ariel over.Ariel: You ever heard of the Masada? For two years, 900 Jews held their own against 15,000 Roman soldiers. They chose death before enslavement. The Romans? Where are they now?
Tony: You're looking at 'em, asshole! - Deadly Bath: Brendan is taking a bath when Mikey executes him.
- Deadpan Snarker: Ariel is quite adept at delivering sharp retorts, even while hardened mobsters are working him over.
- Deal with the Devil: Shlomo Tiettleman learns the hard way that allowing a share of his motel business with Tony amounts to one.
- The Determinator: Ariel steadfastly refuses to give up what he perceives he's entitled to, even after receiving a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown from both Silvio and Paulie. He even cites a historical example of the trope in the Masada as his inspiration. But his resolve dissolves once castration is put on the table.
- Dope Slap: Rosalie Aprile delivers one to the back of Mikey Palmice's head when he continues ranting about how a faulty iv could kill her husband Jackie.
- Drugs Are Good: Meadow and Hunter want a little crystal meth to get them through juggling their upcoming SATS and choir recitals at the same time.
- Establishing Character Moment: Rosalie wastes little time establishing herself as a woman who will speak her mind to anybody. She even gives Mikey a Dope Slap when he's constantly volunteering Too Much Information about cancer in front of her ailing husband, Jackie.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones:
- Once Chris realizes that Meadow is determined to get her fix, he gets crystal meth so that she doesn't have to risk herself in the bad part of town.
- Livia uses her influence with Junior to keep Chris from being killed.
- Tony arranges for Jackie and a stripper to have a private party so that Jackie will have some comfort when he's sick and breaks down in tears after his friend's condition worsens.
- Tony gazes with admiration and pride as Meadow sings at the recital.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Subverted.
- Christopher refuses to sell Meadow and Hunter speed, not because he has any qualms about selling drugs to teenagers, but because he knows he'd face Tony's wrath if he were to find out.
- However Chris's ultimate decision to give Meadow the drugs is done in an effort to keep his cousin from seeking out more violent dealers.
- Eye Scream: Brendan during his execution.
- Fate Worse than Death: The reason that Tony and the other mobsters are finally able to break the son-in-law with an Offer He Can't Refuse is that he fears being left alive after a Crippling Castration more than actually getting killed.
- Flipping the Bird: Meadow gives Brendan one when he shamelessly flirts with her.
- Food Fight: Tony and Artie engage in this at the fundraiser, much to Carmela's amusement.
- Foreshadowing:
- In the hospital, Jackie Aprile Sr. likens Mikey Palmice to the Grim Reaper. In "From Where to Eternity", Christopher, believing he is in Hell, sees Mikey there. In the same episode, a psychic tells Paulie that Mikey is the leader of the dead souls following him.
- Carmela motions her Polish maid over with a fingers backward gesture that really gives Carm a Bad Boss vibe. The next time she does that will provoke an encounter that makes the encounter backfire on her.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Jackie is relieved when Mikey leaves the room, and everybody else concurs.
- Greedy Jew: Both Shlomo and his son-in-law Ariel live up to the stereotypes.
- History Repeats: The end of this episode sees Christopher as the victim of a mock execution on the orders of Junior, in response to an insult. Decades earlier, as shown in (The Many Saints of Newark), Junior had Christopher's father "Dickie" Moltisanti killed for real, again in response to a perceived lack of respect.
- Hospital Hottie: Played With. A woman in a Hello Nurse outfit comes to check on Jackie Aprile, who insists she's not his nurse. About the point her tits start falling out of her jacket, he realizes that she's one of the girls from the Bada Bing club, whom Tony hired to come out and show Jackie a good time.
- Hypocrite: Artie calls out his wife for refusing the Caribbean cruise tickets Tony offered a few days prior but jumping at the chance to work with Carmela to work for an event that benefits the mob in the long run.
- Improperly Paranoid: Tony is convinced that the painting in Dr. Melfi's foyer must be some kind of psychological scam on her part.
- Improvised Weapon: Paulie uses a hotel bell to whack Ariel in the head several times.
- Ironic Nursery Rhyme: Chris gets abducted and mock executed by Russians while Meadow sings "All Through The Night" in the school choir.
- Jailbait Taboo: Brendan openly flirts with both Meadow and Hunter, who are high school seniors at the time, which Christopher and Adriana strangely don’t seem to have a problem with. Lampshaded by Carmela, who makes it clear she finds this scummy and inappropriate.
- Kick the Dog: Junior's idea of "talking to" Christopher involves sending a couple of Russian goons to stage a mock execution and cause him to beg for his life.
- Lady Macbeth: Livia starts to place Uncle Junior in her pocket, and wields the power of life or death over other mobsters within Junior's reach.
- Manly Tears: Tony has a breakdown upon seeing Jackie Sr.'s deteriorating condition.
- Meal Ticket: Discussed.Meadow (to Adriana): I don't know what you see in him.Christopher: Money.Adriana: Fuck you.
- Moe Greene Special: Mikey gives one to Brendan.
- Mood Whiplash: Carmela attempts to have a serious discussion with Tony about Artie's financial situation and the possibility that arson was involved, all while Meadow is blasting rap music in the background.
- Oblivious Guilt Slinging: Artie unknowingly keeps making Tony feel guilty about torching Artie's restaurant.
- Obnoxious In-Laws: How Shlomo and his son-in-law Ariel regard each other.
- An Offer You Can't Refuse: Paulie and Big Bussy try to force the Teittleman's son-in-law to grant the "Get". But no matter how many beatings they give him and how many death threats they make, he remains Defiant to the End even in the face of murder. It isn't until Tony gets some advice from Hesh that they can oblige the son-in-law. It turns out that giving the son-in-law a Crippling Castration without killing him is from the son-in-law's point of view a Fate Worse than Death.
- Oh, Crap!: Brendan, just before Mikey executes him.
- Artie has one right at the start of the Food Fight with Tony; he threw the first bit of food into Tony's face in a flash of genuine anger, and he has a second to realize what he's done before Tony decides it's all in good fun and joins in.
- Precision F-Strike: Tony gives Melfi one as he storms out of her office, again.
- Pre-Mortem One-Liner: Before Brendan is killed.Mikey: Hijack. (cocks gun) Bye, Jack.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Carmela speaks to Charmaine in a manner of Condescending Compassion, and with the assumption that Charmaine must be jealous of her wealth. Charmaine then tells her that she had a one-night stand with Tony before he married Carmela, but didn't take it any further than that. She is obviously implying that she could have usurped Carmela's place as the Trophy Wife, but made a moral choice to not have anything more to do with Tony or his blood money.
- Rhetorical Question Blunder: The son-in-law brags about a small contingent of Jewish soldiers withstanding The Siege by a numerically superior Roman force for two years. He then asks Tony: "And the Romans? Where are they now?" Tony's reply: "You're lookin' at 'em, asshole."
- Silent Treatment: Carmela gives it to Tony at the concert hall after Charmine revealed her one-night stand with Tony. Also doubles as Foreshadowing when Tony's cheating ways become harder and harder to ignore as the series progresses.
- Soundtrack Dissonance: The end of the episode cuts back and forth between Meadow singing a Christmas carol with the choir and Mikey delivering a Moe Greene Special to Brendan. The carol continues uninterrupted even when the view cuts to the murder.
- Unwanted Assistance:
- Mikey attempts to calm Jackie Sr.'s nerves... by telling him about a rare form of cancer that destroys the brain.
- Teittleman's associate insults Tony in his native language, leading the latter to disregard him entirely for the rest of the conversation, and Teittleman to tell him to shut up.
- When Meadow asks Chris for crystal meth, Brendan asks if she has money. Chris immediately tells him to be quiet.
- We All Die Someday: A theme in the show.
- Tony tries to give Jackie good news about the Tiettleman Motel, but the cancer-stricken Jackie is too distracted with the measurements and other health indicators tied to his condition to even listen to Tony. And Tony notices ...
- Tony later admits to Dr. Melfi that he wouldn't mind a quick death that has elements of Heroic Sacrifice to it, but seeing Jackie has him dreading a slow and Undignified Death in his old age.
- Women Are Wiser: Junior compliments Livia on her "wise" decision-making abilities in regards to Chris and Brendan's punishments.
