"If they are, we'll all be dead."
"No more rhymes now, I mean it."
"Anybody want a peanut?"
The Long List is a particularly humorous Overly Long Gag. With this subtrope, someone shows off impressive talent, by spitting out a list where all parts are rhymed either with themselves or each other, preferably using real words. The List Song is generally related, since songs mostly rhyme, ones containing a list will probably have both.
If it is poorly done, it could be with the world's painful rhymin-est, adjective contrivin-est, least sublimin-est descriptors.
In short, the requirements for this trope are:
- The types of media on the page for Rhymes on a Dime.
- In Blazing Saddles, this is integrated into a list of an Army of Thieves and Whores:
Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists!
Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?
- In How I Met Your Mother, Barney's list of the professions of the women who have slept with him: "A butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker. Yes — we're to the rhyming section, now. A math professor, a tax assessor, a weight guesser..."
- A Bob Monkhouse sketch uses this trope extensively. Detective Inspector Hector Vector (Monkhouse) investigates a crime scene where the witnesses include the Honourable Rector Doctor Victor Propter ("Mister?" "Doctor") and Master Foster Gloucester, studying law, sir, and Chaucer. "Law's a bore, sir, but Chaucer's coarser!" At the end, Vector gives The Summation, all in rhyme, and concludes with "That's the list, nothing's missed, now I'm off to get...plastered!"
- A common mechanic in skits by The Two Ronnies, usually delivered by Ronnie Barker, but the wordplay and punning were by no means limited to rhyming.
- "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Hardware Store" has a Crowning Moment of Awesome / Motor Mouth moment once Al gets to the section with the huge list of stuff the titular store has in stock.
- Fairly common among List Songs, such as Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire", which features such lines as "JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say?"
- R.E.M.'s "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (and I Feel Fine)";
''The other night I dreamt of knives
Continental drift divide.
Mountains sit in a line
- "I've Been Everywhere", written by Geoff Mack and performed by everyone from Asleep At the Wheel to Johnny Cash, is this trope personified:
I've been to:
Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota,
Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota,
Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma,
Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma,
Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo,
Tocapillo, Baranquilla, and Perdilla, I'm a killer.
- The song "Words That Rhyme" by Baldbox contains many of these.
- Ev'rybody's talking about: Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism...
- Ric Flair is a limousine-riding, jet-flying, wheelin' dealin' kiss-stealin' stylin', profilin', — WOOOOO! — son-of-a-gun!
- Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson would often use this in promos, occasionally combining two word endings to become the "Jabroni-Beatin', Pie-Eatin', Trailblazin', Eyebrow Raisin', Step off the brake, Foot on the Gas, Always Ready to whup some Ass People's Champ!"
- John Cena did this during the "Mr. McMahon was murdered" story arc, when discussing the different people who could hate Vince McMahon enough to want to kill him:
Cena: We could be talking hikers, bikers, drivers, divers, preachers, teachers, that drunk in the bleachers.
- In the Adventure Game Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge, when the Voodoo Lady tells Guybrush the ingredients he needs to find, so she can make a voodoo doll:
Voodoo Lady: Something of the Head, something of the Thread, something of the Body, and something of the Dead.
Guybrush: Wow, that almost rhymes!
- Looney Tunes:
- Yosemite Sam, master of the Painful Rhyme, is the "meanest, toughest, rip-roarin'-est, Edward Everett Horton-est hombre what ever packed a six-shooter!" He's also "the roughest, toughest he-man stuffest hombre that's ever crossed the Rio Grande", "the roughest, toughest, rootinest, shootinest claim-jumper that ever jumped a claim", "the blood-thirstiest, shoot 'em first-iest, doggone worst-iest buccaneer that's ever sailed the Spanish main", and "tha' hootin'-est, tootin'-est, shootin'-est bob-tailed wildcat in the West!" And "the rootinest, tootinest, fastest-shootinest, highest-salutinest" general in their parody of Casablanca.
- Daffy Duck's song in "Scrap Happy Daffy" ends with a rhyming list of all the junk he's collecting for the war effort.
- One Chowder episode was called "Field Tournament Style Up and Down On the Ground Manja Flanja Blanja Banja Ishka Bibble Babble Flabble Doma Roma Floma Boma Jingle Jangle Every Angle Bricka Bracka Flacka Stacka Two Ton Rerun Free for All Big Ball". note
- The "Bottom of the Sea" song. It is listed here for now as it was parodied in Futurama, which defines the levels at which the conditions could rhyme.
- Several Classic Disney Shorts primarily focusing on Goofy often feature these.
- One episode of Garfield and Friends had Garfield telling another cat that a nearby feast was full of "hams and yams and jams and even foods that don't rhyme."