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Darth Wiki / The War Comms

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What originated as a set of Livejournal communities based on the parodying of Shipping wars and other fandom kerfluffles and evolved into a quasi-RP when a few creators...put a bit too much into their sockpuppets. This led to the creation of a third community and then a wiki (which sadly died of spam).

The socks are a group of random fans, based on a wide range of stereotypes and ranging from preteen schoolgirls to thirty-something housewives, all living in a safehouse of epic madness. Whether they're fighting over fandoms, engaging in Ship-to-Ship Combat and character wars or walking in on each other in the showers, there's always some kind of drama to be had. Throughout the comms' run, the socks have formed friendships, romantic relationships, rivalries and reluctant alliances. Oh, and they have a talking cat.

The comms aren't all about the sockpuppets and their adventures, though. Before the comms took on a roleplay-esque premise, people would post whatever caught their fancy and start fake wanks for fun. The comms still do this, just not as much as they used to. Some of the funnier shipping wars have involved SnakesxPlane vs SnakexBadger, Mudkips, various food combinations, and Snape's Wives, Mrs. Sephiroth and Link's Queen having an orgy.

Characters

The sockpuppets of the communities.

    open/close all folders 

    Gala's socks 

Lucy Bennet

A whiny, delusional bishounen fangirl who actually believes all her favourite pretty boys are in love with her.

Maxie Winnage

A friendly, shameless college girl who adores most everything pornographic.

Gordon Bennet

Lucy's older brother. He's a raging misogynist who's obsessed with (his twisted view of) traditional masculinity.

Syrius Binesse

A gentle, albeit melancholic, emo kid with nonexistent self-esteem and a fixation on the angsty, morbid side of fandom.

Patricia "Trisha" Grant

A shallow Alpha Bitch who obsesses over "trendy" characters and pairings and views anyone who isn't into those things as dweebs.

Hannah White

A cynical yuri fan with something of a persecution complex.

Stuart Martins

An egotistical gamer who judges everything by their tier rankings.

Angela Ashford

A melodramatic nun who wishes to rid fandom of pornography and anything else she deems impure, even though she herself is nowhere near as pure as she likes to think.

Morgan de Velle

A haughty villain fangirl who believes her tastes to be inherently superior and views fans who prefer heroic characters as subhuman.

Bridget Johnson

An insufferable, self-important woman who looks down on all things popular and totes her marriage as a badge of superiority.

Nancy Yandle

A nervous moeblob who likes yanderes and similarly mentally unstable characters. She happens to be pretty unstable herself.

    Lexi's socks 

    Sara's socks 

Sue Sorchar (aka Sue Sockbat)

A teenage girl on a permanent sugar high, her main deal is fawning over everything she finds cute.

  • Cuteness Proximity: Goes for anything she deems cute, be it ships, characters, animals, plushies or clothes.
  • Genki Girl
  • Girl with Psycho Weapon: Prone to attacking the nastier socks with fish. They're either thrown weapons, used as a blunt object or stuffed in someone's mouth.
  • Girlish Pigtails: And yes, the pink is natural.
  • No Indoor Voice: Downplayed. She's capable of talking normally when needed, but her default setting is high.
  • Odd Friendship: With the cynical Hannah and the calm, logical Janet, who try to keep her more immature tendencies in check.
  • Pyromaniac: Accidentally. She doesn't mean to have various appliances catch fire, but somehow they always do.
  • You Are Fat: Does this to Trisha, who isn't actually fat but hates it when people find any flaw in her appearance whatsoever. Sue using it as a means of upsetting her is a sign of both Sue's immaturity and Trisha's vanity. Played straighter when she does it to Gordon, though, as he's actually overweight with a beer gut.

Esmeralda Iceworth

A prissy, melodramatic, self-righteous bigot who pretends to be more innocent than she is.

  • Female Misogynist: Happily engages in Slut-Shaming at the drop of a hat. The only woman she actually treats with kindness is Angela, who's pretty much her brain twin.
  • Love Makes You Crazy: It's suggested that she became more deranged over time with the absence of Tuxedo Wank Man. Of course, she hasn't changed a bit now that he's back...
  • Proper Lady: Thinks of herself as one even though she's not.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: Well, she was never a nice person but she started out being more of a wilting flower than anything. Margot once actually came to her defense when Gordon attacked her, but it's hard to picture anyone doing that for her nowadays.

Missy Blackwell

A violent Straw Feminist who fancies herself a badass, but is just a pathetic rebel wannabe.

  • Female Misogynist: Despite proclaiming herself to be a super feminist, she's one of these at her core.
  • Hype Aversion / It's Popular, Now It Sucks!: In-universe, bashes the shit out of popular things. Mainly to piss off fandoms.
  • Morality Pet: Subverted. When she shows an interest in Josephine's little daughter Catherine it's because the girl's drawing violent pictures with her mother as the victim.
  • The Pig-Pen: If she showers, it's usually to make some feminist statement by using the guys' showers or to sexually harass Essie or Trisha. Her stench has been referred to as "a legendary weapon in its own right".
  • Psycho Lesbian: Has made deranged sexual comments towards Trisha and actually molested Esmeralda. Even people who hated Essie didn't think that was cool.

Rod Smith

A teenage boy with a permanent hard-on who exists to drool over lesbians and fart on people.

  • Dropped A Level In Jerkass: He's still a pain in the ass and most of the socks don't like him, but lately he's been regarded as mostly harmless due to being fourteen and incredibly stupid rather than malicious.

Joe Kramer (aka Joe Kickass)

A polyamorous college guy who ships threesomes and is generally really cool.

  • Stoners Are Funny: Sort of. He doesn't use pot much, but he acts stoned when he gets drunk.

Mary Ellen Wilson

A sappy, overbearing woman who believes everyone can and will be good friends and get along.

Julia Brady

A sweet and mature young lady who loves May December Romances.

  • Team Chef: Is one of the safehouse's primary cooks.
  • Violently Protective Girlfriend: Well, she's not actually Syrius's girlfriend, but she seems to have feelings for him and will leap to his defense epically when people hurt him. Also has tendencies of this towards Molly.

Molly Nevins

A sweet but highly insecure Naïve Everygirl.

  • Heroic Self-Deprecation: She's gotten a bit better about it over time, but still slides into it quite a bit.
  • I Am Not Pretty: She's actually pretty cute, but doesn't see herself as such compared to others.
  • Naïve Everygirl: Though the more negative traits are downplayed
  • Redheads Are Uncool: Is picked on by a lot of kids at her school
  • Took a Level in Badass: While still shy and insecure, she's become less afraid to stand up for herself. She's also beaten the crap out of Rod several times.

Cassandra "Cassie" Ironbachs

A pretentious and stuffy woman who hates 99% of protagonists in media and likes to turn all issues into social issues.

  • All Issues Are Political Issues: Her ranting and meta have taken a turn for this in the last several years.
  • Break the Haughty: Tends to happen whenever she gets on her high horse.
  • Broken Bird: While she herself hasn't suffered any great trauma, she watched her friends and other innocents be screwed over and hurt enough for it to turn her bitter and stuck up about everything, including fictional worlds and characters.
    • Collateral Angst: Her issues smack of this. The jury is out on whether her feelings are caring and noble or an excuse to be a pretentious wanker about fandoms.
  • Deconstruction: Thinks she's doing this in picking apart media, characters and pairings, but it's usually just glorified bashing.
  • Hypocrite: Has been called on doing the same things she chews other people out for.
  • Pet the Dog: Leaps to the defense of anyone attacked by Missy, Gordon or Esmeralda. Especially Syrius and Nancy.

Patrick Wells (aka Fanon Duo)

A delusional, screaming yaoi fanboy who hates any and all things female.

  • Attention Whore: Will whine, cry, pretend to be attacked (or worse) just to get people to notice him. They do, but never in the way he intended for...
  • Dude, Not Funny!: In-universe, he pretends he was raped in order to get attention for himself after Trisha was molested by Alexa. The other socks were NOT PLEASED.
  • Girls Have Cooties: Oh, boy...
  • Never My Fault: Even when it's plain as day it's his fault he blames his parents. Or anything female.

Alyssia "Lyssie" Wells

A kind but outspoken college student who rabidly defends characters from any and all bashing and harsh criticism.

James Wells

Alyssia and Patrick's cousin, a sweet but physically weak boy with a penchant for incest ships.

  • Kissing Cousins: Admits that his first crush was his cousin Alyssia, before he realized he was gay.

Kristan Rose Black

A melodramatic villain fangirl.

Mark Keller

A sweet boy who proudly loves fluff and having "feminine" hobbies.

Heather Foreman

An incredibly insecure girl who always sympathizes with unrequited love and suffers a persecution complex.

  • A-Cup Angst: Has the same bust size as 13-year-old Lucy and hates it. Not helped by the girl who bullies her the most having an ideal cup size and not being afraid to show it off.
  • Annoying Younger Sibling: Thinks her brother is spoiled and gets everything at her expense.
  • Entitled to Have You: Her shipping habits and approach to romance in real life run on this trope.
  • Mommy Issues: Her stern mother gives her a hate-on for less than perfect fictional parents, especially mothers.
    • Daddy's Girl: Prefers her father, despite his constant absence.
  • Naïve Everygirl: Displays a lot of the negative aspects of this trope, too.
  • Shadow Archetype: For Molly, so much that Word of God compared her to Molly's earliest concept.
  • The Unfavorite: Sees herself as this. The jury is still out on how much this is true.

Shannon Blake

A Smitten Teenage Girl who develops crushes easily and loves to fantasize.

Mittens (aka Fandom Cat)

A talking cat who believes himself and all other cats to be superior to humans.

    Sorakh's socks 

As a whole

  • Berserk Button: Don't want to be on their bad sides? Don't press this.
    • Margaret doesn't deal well with issues involving her peers. And please don't upset her friends or Kevin. She gets pretty vicious.
    • Kevin is VERY protective towards his siblings, his girlfriend and his buddies. As a result, Esmeralda has gotten his ire.
    • But Kevin has NOTHING towards his Mama Bear Marion, despite having the same buttons. This is due to her being, well, a mother.
    • Noël is pretty much the same as Kevin and Margot. They are the Sora Trio, after all.
    • Ernestine has a thing about culture, so mocking it is the worst idea to do. Especially if they're Native culture.
    • DO NOT MAKE FUN OF JAPANESE CULTURE IN FRONT OF KAEDE. Among other things, like harassing other people.
    • Also, don't try to pretend you know the characters from the fandoms, they'll knock you down.
    • While on the subject on fandom characters, some of them have... rather particular sensitive subjects not to press.
      • Chrom detest Esmeralda using him and Robin as stand-ins for Tuxedo Wank Man and herself.
      • Do not involve Misaki Shirakawa in any way. Even if Shu can't use the Granzon, he's got other abilities up his sleeves.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: All of Sora's socks tends to be nice people... but press their Berserk Buttons and they get nasty.

Margaret "Margot" Vanderhorse

A sweet young lady with enough sass to seem older than she really is.

Kevin LeRoy

A snarky young man who is called the Ninja Admin due to his computer skills and being the Root Admin of a popular forum.

Marion LeRoy

Kevin's mother, a widow who cares very much for her children and their friends.

Noël Gagnon

Margot's BFF since kindergarten. A clever young man who's just as snarky as Kevin.

Ernestine Blackbird

A young woman who enjoys proper portrayal of cultures as a result of being Native Canadian. Is also known as the Empress of Logic.

Chastity Kaede Sakurai-White

A Half-Japanese, Half-Canadian heiress to a traditional Japanese inn found in the outskirts of Toronto. Her main quirk is her lack of OT Ps.

    Guardian's Song's socks 

    Puri's socks 

    Maria's socks 

    Daisy's socks 

    Mini's socks 

Awesome

    Awesome 
  • Pretty much any and all pwnage of Missy and Gordon, no matter how small.
    • One notable instance: During Cassie's intro, Gordon told her to "learn her place before he put her there with his fists". Cassie immediately put him in his place with a little armchair psychoanalysis. Even the socks she'd previously pissed off with her snobby character bashing thought it was cool.
  • Syrius rising up and slapping Trisha for insulting Molly. Keep in mind, Syrius is timid, self-effacing and non-confrontational and Trisha is merciless in her bullying of the less secure socks.
  • Cassie's recent transition from full-time elitist bitch to Jerk with a Heart of Gold, especially during the Syrius incident in which she laid the smackdown on Essie and later Angela for what they did.
  • Chrom laying a smackdown on Esmeralda.
  • Ashlii cleverly calling it like she sees it with Tuxedo Wank Man's beard.
  • Newcomer Shannon manages to zing Trisha at first comment.

Funny

    Funny 
  • Rod's reactions to people pwning him while he's trying to be a badass, showing him to be the ridiculous teenage perv he is.
    • Also, his failtastic flirtations with Sailor Bimbo and her less than pleased reactions.
  • Ralph always seeming to have just the right macro for whatever occasion. The macros themselves are hilarious, too.
  • Lucy and Emily's catfight over Riku when the latter first joined the comms.
  • Rod and Lucy both getting bridgets dropped on them in the same post.
  • When the socks learnt that they were i-net famous.
  • The sock population and the muns learning of Gordon's rabbit-phobia.
  • April 1st, 2007. That is all.
    Alyssia: (to Mary Ellen): You were threatening to rape people, and all you can say is you were "naughty"?note 
  • Any time Zacharias drops his smug, holier-than-thou composure. Especially when it comes to Esmeralda's love for Tuxedo Wank Man.
  • Milos's crazy crossover ideas. With lesbian draco-mecahs.
  • Mila and Lyssie mocking the shit out of Esmeralda's note  soppy, melodramatic Boyd/Mist fanfic.
  • Zacharias tells Missy off in a surprisingly creative way. Proving even a stick-butt like him can be tolerable now and then.

Tearjerker

    Tearjerker 
  • Syrius's reaction to Ralph and Molly becoming an Official Couple was...quite heart-rending. Poor kid...
  • Also, when Syrius snaps over Esmeralda's really poorly-timed insults and re-starts cutting himself in the middle of an Heroic BSoD. Molly suffering another BSOD of her own at the sight and Ralph having to literally slap the knife away from Syrius was also pretty jarring, too.
  • Syrius himself is a walking tearjerker. You'd think some emo teenager who crossdresses, cuts himself and speaks in such flowery language would be a joke or a cliche, but rarely are they ever done as heart-wrenchingly well as this kid.

Drinking Game

    Drinking Game 
Take a drink:

  • When someone champions their OTP as superior.
    • Two if they merely squee and talk about why they enjoy it.
  • Bashes another pairing.
    • Shows their Double Standard.
      • Drip one drop into your mouth anytime Essie does this with het vs same-sex pairs. You'll still be drunk but you run less risk of alcohol poisoning.
  • When Rod calls a male character a derogatory name.
    • Gushes over how hot a female character is.
    • Says the heroine should bang her best friends and kill her male love interest.
  • Drain the bottle when Missy starts her Straw Feminist routine.
  • One drop every time Trisha does Like Is, Like, a Comma
    • Calls someone a dweeb.
    • Does her like, totally radical Valley Girl routine.
    • Screams her head off and shatters any glass in the area.
  • One sip every time Patrick, Essie or Lucy cries.
    • Two for every time Kristan or Heather cries.
  • One drop whenever Gorden talks in RANDOM CAPS.
  • Drain the bottle anytime Zacharias whines about protecting canon's integrity.
  • One drink every time Milos says any given canon would be better with more giant robots/hot chicks/giant dragons/general badassery.
    • Two if Rod chimes in agreeing with him.
  • One drink for every rant from Mila on the superiority of fanon.
  • Take a sip every time Mittens pees, sheds, farts or barfs on anything.
  • One drink for every instance of ship tease.
    • Two whenever Julia is overprotective towards Syrius.
    • Drain the bottle anytime Patrick hits on one of the guys.
    • Or Rod on one of the girls.
      • Chug when they inevitably get their asses kicked.
    • One sip every time Zacharias throws a tantrum about Tuxedo Wank Man/Esmeralda.
    • One drink for every moment shared by a canon couple.
      • Two for every Kristan/Morgan moment.
  • One drink every time Rod and Ashlii fight.
    • Three if they start a fart contest.
  • Chug every time Rod or Ashlii farts on someone.
  • One drink if Tori gets out her gun.
  • Three drinks if Jeb actually loses his temper.
  • One drink every time a canon character shows up to put a stupider sock in their place.
  • One sip every time one of the nastier socks is put in their place.
    • Chug in celebration if it's Patrick, Missy, Essie, Angela or Gordon.
  • Drain the bottle when Bridget goes off on one of her holier than thou rants.
    • Same if Angela starts whining about her religion and fandom being an affront to God.
  • Take a drink anytime Cassie bashes a main character.
    • Two if she does it to preach the superiority of her favorite. (ex. Minako vs. Usagi)
    • Or does the same thing with pairings. (ex. Daisy/Luigi vs. Mario/Peach)
    • Chug if she blatantly ignores canon to promote her views.
  • Take a drink anytime Stuart uses a 4chan meme.
  • Two drinks every time Cassie shows her Hidden Heart of Gold.
    • Three if she's protecting Nancy.
  • Take a drink if Nancy snaps, then HIDE.
  • One drop every time Sue attacks someone with a fish.
    • Maxie hits someone with a dildo.
    • Julie hits someone with a bookshelf.
    • Ralph beans someone with a basketball.
    • Hannah hits someone with her mop.
  • One drop anytime Joe or Maxie discuss porn.
  • One drink anytime Kevin pulls a ninja mod.
  • One drink anytime Hannah sighs at Mittens.
  • One drink anytime Molly puts someone she's usually afraid of in their place.
    • Two if it's Trisha, Gordon, Missy or Zacharias.
  • One drink anytime Alyssia rabidly defends a character.
  • Drain the bottle when Patrick shows off his misogyny.
    • Two if it's towards his sister.
  • Drain the bottle anytime Patrick, Essie, Missy, Lucy, Rod or Ashlii writes a fanfic.
  • Chug when Patrick pretends he's Duo Maxwell.
  • Drain the bottle when Mary Ellen starts demanding everyone make nice and be friends.
  • Three drinks anytime Zacharias, Cassie, Ashlii, Rod, Sailor Bimbo or Stuart says or does something useful or cool.
    • Chug when Zacharias puts Missy or Patrick in their place.
  • One sip anytime Sailor Bimbo calls someone a breeder.
    • Two if she threatens or beats up Rod.
  • One sip every time Esmeralda whines for someone to save her.
    • Two if it's NOT Tuxedo Wank Man.
  • One sip if Patrick cries for one of the boys to save him.
  • One drink every time Lucy says canon is all lies in regards to her favorite bishies.
  • Pour out your alcohol in disgust anytime someone drives Syrius to self-harm.
  • Chug in celebration when someone makes Essie or Patrick run away in tears.
  • One drop anytime Rod faps.
  • One drink anytime Joe or Maxie ignores someone's lectures to write or draw porn.
    • Two if Maxie's drawing/writing monster porn.
  • One sip anytime Joe says a love triangle should just form an OT3.
  • Drain the bottle when Cassie goes off on a rant about how something is "problematic" or "antifeminist" or "promotes" [insert actual social issue here that said media or trope has nothing to do with].
    • Two sips if Janet, Zacharias or Alyssia points out that her "feminist" ranting is more antifeminist than whatever she's bashing.
  • One drink every time Janet uses logic to put an idiot in their place.
  • One drink every time Ralph goes berserk on someone for bullying Molly, Syrius or anyone else he's close to.
  • One drink every time Mittens bashes or complains about dogs.
    • Two anytime he tries to chase after any rodent-like creature.
  • One drink anytime a sane sock is embarrassed by their less sane sibling or cousin.
  • One drink anytime Heather overreacts to criticism.
    • Two when it makes someone feel bad for being so hard on her.
  • One drink anytime Becky tells someone to go suck a rooster.

Provides Examples Of:

  • A-Cup Angst: Heather. In a weird inversion, Lucy angsts about losing her A-cups and growing "horrible lumpy things like the grown-up girls".
  • Abhorrent Admirer: William to Chastity, Patrick to Gordon, Rod to Sailor Bimbo. Ashlii was this to Joe before she moved on to Zacharias.
  • Aerith and Bob: Syrius, you have a really strange name compared with most of the other socks.
  • All Issues Are Political Issues: Cassie and Mila are fond of dropping this anvil on pretty much everything.
  • All Love Is Unrequited: Poor Syrius. The worst part is, Molly did have feelings for him but never went for it due to her worries that he might not return them.
  • Annoying Younger Sibling: People pity Alyssia when they find out she's related to Patrick.
  • Artificial Limbs: Stella, with both her right arm and leg.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Josie's list of "filthy, horrible fandom trends" goes as follows - incest, rape, paedophilia, violence and broccoli.
    • Milos's idea of marrying "unnatural couples" in Fire Emblem: Awakening include making "a bunnyboy marry a dragon chick who liked torturin' him for kicks, a dark sorceress marry th' incarnation'a her fell god, a whiny dope with a stick up his bum marry a chick with rage issues 'cause he gets off on her tellin' him where he can shove his whinin', an' Maribelle marry a man."
  • Asshole Victim: Anytime one of the nastier socks gets hurt or humiliated or screwed over in any way, you can't help cheering. (With the exception of the Alexa-Trisha rape, of course)
  • Attention Whore: A lot of the socks have tendencies but the straightest examples are Esmeralda, Patrick, Trisha and Emily.
  • Berserk Button: Just about all the socks have at least one.
    • Do not bash characters around Alyssia, or even look at James wrong.
    • Do not bash female characters around Hannah.
    • Don't mention Code Geass cosplay in front of Chastity if your names are Morgan and Kristan.
    • Don't threaten someone Ralph cares for if you're within his earshot range.
    • Maxie and Maya are VERY protective of their artworks.
    • Cassie hates it when people compare her to Cori Falls, or even worse, call her "Cori" to make fun of or insult her. Also, don't mock other people's legitimate triggers and issues around her. You will regret it.
    • Don't call Trisha fat or by her full name unless you enjoy having beauty products thrown at you.
    • Want to make stuck-up Bridget lose her cool? Belittle the marriage she so proudly waves around like a status symbol.
    • Do not upset or threaten Jeb in front of Tori, and especially don't invade his personal space if he's told you to stop (we're looking at you, Patrick and Rod!)
    • Do not slutshame Maxie. She's damn proud to be an openly sexual being, thank you very much.
    • Do not misuse the word "trigger" in Nancy's prescence if you value your life. Also, if your name is Trisha and you give Heather a bad time, prepare to be destroyed.
    • Do not accuse Sailor Bimbo of being heterosexual or a fake lesbian. It will not be pretty.
    • Don't do anything wrong towards any of the LeRoy children. Marion with be after you. And if it's Lionel you're after? Pray that Kevin, Margot and/or Noël doesn't join her.
  • Big Brother Instinct: Age-reversed with Ralph, who is rabidly protective of his older sister Janet. Played straight with Joe, who is easily ticked off by anyone who so much as looks at his younger sister Kate the wrong way. Also one who plays this straight is Kevin, who has to be more of a brother figure to his younger siblings, especially his little brother Lionel.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Esmeralda. She plays innocent and claims to be a pure, proper lady, but is capable of saying some very nasty and hurtful things to the other socks. Also Angela, who acts like a weepy and pious nun but is capable of being a malicious victim-blamer with no remorse for hurting anyone who dares to disagree with her.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Try counting the number of comments where Gordon doesn't drop this. Missy's pretty bad about it, too. And when in a bad mood, Ralph also slips into this category.
  • Cool Big Sis: Maxie, with her friend-with-benefits Joe being a Cool Big Bro. Karen views Alyssia as her Cool Big Sis, too.
  • Cosplay Otaku Girl: Karen, Chastity. Ralph is a male version.
  • Creepy Crossdresser: Missy. According to her, the only good thing about men are the clothes they get to wear.
  • Cry into Chest: Syrius has a habit of crying into the chests of women and older men.
  • Daydream Believer: Lucy, Emily and Patrick, to almost sickening levels. Shannon is more sane example of this, crushing on guys and writing self-insert fanfic but being very mature about the whole thing.
  • Demoted to Extra: If there's a meta post with most of the characters, Christine and Olivia will be left off of the first version. All of Mini's socks can be considered this since the mun stopped showing up at the comms.
  • * Die for Our Ship: In-universe, this is pretty much how Shipwar started
  • Cute Clumsy Girl: Sue and Maxie, though the latter's can mostly be chalked up to her love of stiletto heels...
  • D-Cup Distress: Angela is deeply and predictably ashamed of her D-cups.
  • Do Not Call Me "Paul": Fandom Cat used to go into hissy fits whenever anyone called him Mittens. He's cooled down about this a little, but still hates it. Also, don't call Trisha by her full name or she'll throw a bitch fit. Calling Tori by her full name will also result in a crapload of anger.
  • Draco in Leather Pants: In-universe, Esmeralda has proven to be pathological about this with Ruka Tsuchiya (and bashing Shiori in the process, of course).
  • Dude Looks Like a Lady: Jeb was mistaken for a girl when he first showed up.
  • Dude, Not Funny!: Almost all of the socks hate Esmeralda, but no one was amused when Missy attempted to rape her in-universe.
  • Early-Installment Weirdness: Sue, Essie and Missy's earlier posts. Sue used to preach about canon before Essie was created, Essie used to preach about feminism before Missy was created, and Missy was slightly more laid back.
    • When Julia first "met" Syrius on the comms, she kept her distance and awkwardly asked him not to bleed on the carpet. Hard to imagine that coming from the girl who's kicked the asses of people twice her size for so much as looking at him the wrong way.
  • Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: Morgan, Chastity as an Asian variation, Cassie, Maya, Lily.
  • Embarrassing First Name: Syrius and Trisha.
  • Emo Teen: Syrius, although he's likable. Patrick, not so much. Heather's somewhere between, and Molly sometimes falls into this on a bad day.
  • Entendre Failure: Happens a LOT with Lucy.
  • Everyone Has Standards
    • Yes, even the scruffy porn freak who sleeps on sticky sheets and only washes his hair once a week thinks Missy needs to take a shower.
    • Even the Juri-worshiping Shiori detractor Heather does not like Ruka. Or rather, she wanted to before he tried to force himself on Juri. After that...she didn't even care when he died.
  • Expy: Tori, Jeb, Elise and Jiro are all alternate versions of their mun's original characters of the same names.
  • The Faceless: Subverted; Joe's sister Kate, Chastity's boyfriend Anton-Klaus, Mitten's girlfriend Lune and Julia's stalker Howie do make appearances, but they lack journals. Played straight with Beth, Janet and Ralph's other sister.
  • Fan Dumb: In-universe, the very fuel these comms run on.
  • Fanservice: So, SO much.
  • Fiery Redhead: Maxie, Ralph and Tuxedo Skank Man. Subverted by the even-tempered Janet, sweet as pie Stephanie and shy, quiet Molly. Averted by the timid Jiro.
  • Genre Savvy: The saner socks are aware of the consequences of their fannish behaviors and try to use them to their advantage.
  • Girl with Psycho Weapon: Parodied with Sue, Maxie, Julia, Hannah and Becky (fish, dildos, bookshelves, mop and frying pan, respectively). Ralph is a male version with his basketball. Played somewhat straighter with Tori and her gun.
  • Groin Attack: Gordon and Missy have both been on the receiving ends of this. But to be fair, they deserve it. Rod's gotten a few of these as well.
  • Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Shannon Blake is not only the only active blonde who isn't a terrible person, but is one of the sweetest girls on the comms.
  • He-Man Woman Hater: Gordy and Patrick.
  • Heteronormative Crusader: Maylene, Josie and Angela. Essie might as well be a lite version (she doesn't outwardly condemn homosexuals and transsexuals, but she's a stickler for "traditional values" and loudly decries Maxie's shameless, sexy attitude as "disgusting").
  • Hopeless Suitor: Zacharias is becoming this for Esmeralda, if his strikethroughs and belittling of Tuxedo Wank Man are anything to go by. One might feel sorry for him if he wasn't such a pretentious twat.
  • Hot-Blooded: Ralph is a Cosplay Otaku Boy with a serious case of No Indoor Voice. Stuart is also pretty hotblooded, though he's also rather annoying.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Ralph is over 6'0 tall, so has these dynamics with any female he gets along with - specially his sisters, his best friend Karen and his girlfriend Molly. Joe and Sue are a platonic version of this. Kevin and Margot also have those dynamics, thought the latter is merely only 13.
  • Hype Aversion: In-universe, Bridget instantly loses respect for anyone who likes anything popular... not that anyone wants her respect in the first place.
  • The Ingenue: Parodied mercilessly with Esmeralda. Elise and Shannon look the part, but are ultimately subversions due to the former's Hidden Depths and the latter reading and writing smut.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: This fits Ralph quite more. Stuart might have the potential for this, as he's not as terrible as other bad socks. Cassie is starting to become one of these as well; though she can be quite the arrogant bitch where fandom is concerned, she's proven to have some degree of caring and concern for the other socks in times of duress (and according to recent comments, she's taken care of some horribly broken friends in the past). Mila and Milos might also count for these reasons, too.
  • Kick the Dog: Oh, so many moments from the nasty socks. Some of the more memorable moments include Gordon and Missy both threatening to rape Syrius and bullying Molly to tears, Patrick faking being raped for attention just after Trisha's very real and traumatic rape by Alexa, Trisha bragging about how she gave Molly and Syrius's info to her friends, and Esmeralda driving Syrius to self-harm twice.
  • Killer Rabbit: Janet's chinchilla. Gordon most likely sees Cassie's rabbits this way... and as it so happens, the original Killer Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail is half the reason for his bunny phobia!
  • Knight Templar Parent: Josephine isn't above ripping up Rod's porn or burning Chris's Disney videos to protect her children from their existence.
  • Large Ham: Stuart and Ralph. Put these two in the same room and they'll compete to see who is the loudest of the duo.
    • Even Esmeralda qualifies, if you think of it; her melodramatic, whiny, shrieking behavior and her Purple Prose-like speech patterns are more than good for the trope.
    • Don't forget Sue and Mittens! A hyperactive silly girl on a permanent sugar high and a high-and-mighty talking cat.
  • Lethal Chef: Sue is a variant in that her food is edible, but her in a kitchen equals disaster. Especially if there's fire involved. Tori is a straight example, though.
  • Lovable Sex Maniac: Maxie, who shows us that not all porn freaks are depraved sociopathic assholes. Joe and Tuxedo Skank Man also count.
  • Love Makes You Crazy: Crazy and in denial, in the case of Lucy. Ditto for Zacharias, who pretty much snaps when he realizes Esmeralda's love for Tuxedo Wank Man is here to stay.
  • Moral Event Horizon: In-universe, Angela and Esmeralda's recent driving of Syrius to a breakdown is being treated this way. Gordon and Missy live on the other side of this, and Patrick's come to visit them several times.
  • Naïve Everygirl: Molly. Stephanie and Julia have shades of this, and Christine could become this when she gets older.
  • Narm: Many examples in-universe:
    • Esmeralda crying that she can't handle Downer Ending fics because her hamster jumped out the window when she was seven.
    • Any of Cassie's "issue" fics are seen this way by the other socks due to her use of rape and homophobia as dramatic devices.
    • Anytime Patrick tries to get attention for himself by screaming about all the bad things that happen to him...that he either deserves or is lying about.
    • Emily's constant whining about her mean oppressive parents and love for Riku.
  • Nausea Fuel: In-universe, several examples: Missy's stench, Lucy's idiocy, fanfics written by Gordon, Esmeralda and Rod, Patrick's entire mindset and behavior.
  • Not Allowed to Grow Up: None of the socks seem to age. Most notably, Lucy was first introduced in June 2006, and yet after so many years, she's never even turned 14.
  • Not Helping Your Case: This has gotten Trisha and Essie into trouble quite a few times.
  • Official Couple: Ralph/Molly, Kevin/Margot, Tori/Jeb, Sue/Becky. As for Kristan/Morgan, we're just waiting for them to come out and admit it outright.
  • Ojou: Subverted with Lily: she looks and acts the part well, but isn't super rich and lots of her cash comes from her work at the family store.
  • The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: Missy is the ONLY one allowed to harass Trisha. Got it? Would be considered Hypocritical Heartwarming if not for, well, Missy.
  • Only Sane Man: Tuxedo Skank Man with his siblings, the misogynistic neckbeard Tuxedo Wank Man and their unseen sister.
  • One-Note Cook: Shannon is great at baking, but not the best at other kinds of cooking. Not to Lethal Chef levels, but even with recipes and cookbooks she has trouble getting meat dishes and vegetable sides to come out the right way.
  • Persecution Flip: Monica believes heterosexuality will kill the gay rights movement, and let's not go into Patrick and Rod's psychotic levels of hatred for it. And then, there's Sailor Bimbo...
  • Pet the Dog: Cassie has her better moments, when she's not being a snooty elitist: she treats Syrius (and sometimes, Sue) rather well and is the proud owner of several pet bunnies. A more shocking example is Missy praising Josephine's daughter Catherine after noticing the girl's rebellious streak.
  • Petite Pride: Karen uses her flat chest to her advantage, since she can cosplay guys very easily because of her small boobs.
  • Platonic Life-Partners: Ralph and Karen. When asked if they're a couple, they're grossed out. Molly and Syrius are this as well, in a Kindred Spirits sense. Margot and Noël also happen to be this despite their ages, thought this may be because they were friends since kindergarten.
  • Rape Portrayed as Redemption: Subverted with Trisha; after anonymouse Alexa went way too far in fighting her off, Trisha was quite broken for a while...unfortunately, when she bounced back she decided to hate on all lesbians.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Mark is gonna squee over fluffy romances, worship cute characters, pick flowers and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to discourage him. Chris is a variant of the Real Men Still Love Disney kind.
  • Real Women Don't Wear Dresses: In-universe, Missy acts as though the very existence of pink, lace and women being anything less than 100% badass Action Girls is out to make the women's movement fall down and go boom. Trisha also has a hate-on for characters like Shirley, Orihime, Aeris, Ninian, Priscilla, Natasha, etc.
  • Redheads Are Uncool: Red-haired Molly is considered a dweeby loser among her peers and certain sockpuppets. Stephanie is implied to have this problem, too, when she was younger, as did Janet. Heather is literally carrot-topped and is implied to be something of an outcast among her peers. Finally, this is the reason Trisha bleaches her hair and was beyond traumatized when Maxie and Julia dyed it red as a revenge ploy.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Subverted by Syrius, who quickly turned out to be a gentle boy who's only a danger to himself. Dark Pit can only be this when he's angry at someone.
  • Retcon: Joe was 21 during his first appearances, later his age was changed to 19. Possibly Molly, Julia and Syrius's friendship (they met for the first time on the comms during Molly and Syrius's intro threads, but it was later revealed they went to the same school and were classmates. Though to be fair, it could've been a case of "oh, so you and my classmate are one and the same?! Who knew!") Lastly, Becky was originally Alexi the mun, who would go on hiatus and return years later. When she created Becky as an homage to her younger self, the socks treated Becky as if that had always been her name.
  • Rooting for the Empire: In-universe: Kristan and Morgan's obsessive worship of villains certainly cuts it, but Kristan once took it a step further, to the disgust of several.
  • Selective Enforcement: Sort of. The sane socks don't exactly get away with murder, but people come down a lot harder on socks like Rod, Missy, Josie and Gordon than ones like Margot, Ralph, Joe and Christine no matter what the circumstances are.
  • Shared Unusual Trait: Kevin and his mother Marion. While it doesn't symbolize anything special, it's interesting to know that Kevin's eyes is reversed from his mother. They both have one eye blue and the other a shade of amber.
  • Ship Sinking: Possibly deliberately invoked by Missy. The general reaction to her sexual assault of Esmeralda was generally disgust and horror, and since then people have backed off on the jokes about pairing the two. Since Missy flew into a rage anytime someone shipped her with Esmeralda...
  • Single-Issue Wonk:
    • Cassie will go from calm and pleasant to frothing rage if you so much as mention protagonist characters like Aang or Usagi.
    • Don't try to convince Ralph that manga is better than anime.
      • Even worse, just look at his sister, his girlfriend and/or Syrius wrong. He may forgive you in regards to anime and manga, but if you threaten anyone he cares for, things will get BAD.
    • Hannah is somewhat hypocritical when it comes to character defence and bashing; while she's extremely protective of most female characters, she's a hell of a lot harder on male ones, and there's a select few guys that she hates to vicious degrees. She's very aware of her own faults, though.
    • Don't try to tell Heather she's overly invested in her ships and favorite characters. You'll never convince her that Hitomi was within her rights to confess to Kyosuke, or that Tharja's a good person despite her bad parenting.
  • Slap-Slap-Kiss: People love to try to invoke this with bickering pairs such as Missy and Esmeralda or Trisha, Rod and Lucy, Percival and Sandy, Cassie and Martina, and Gordon and Missy. Rod and Sailor Bimbo are a canon variant; he does the kissing (or tries to) and she does the slapping.
  • Small Girl, Big Gun: Petite Julia can lift bookshelves when properly angered.
  • Soapbox Sadie: Cassie, Alyssia to a lesser extent.
  • The Social Darwinist: Gordon thinks only BIG BAD MANLY MEN are worthy and everyone else deserves abuse and punishment for being "weak", though he subverts the trope by being rather pathetic and weak himself. Missy is a female version whose idea of "helping" the softer socks toughen up is bullying them to tears - if they don't kick her in the face first, that is.
  • Squick: In-universe reaction to Patrick asserting that mpreg can/should someday be a reality.
  • "Stop Having Fun" Guys: In-universe: Stuart is the epitome of this. Bridget is a variation on this substituting fandom and character popularity for game techniques, and so is Lily to a lesser extent. Newcomer Zach is this when it comes to following canon.
  • Strawman Has a Point: In-universe, Mila, Cassie and Zach often have valid points buried under their self-righteous entitled elitism, which are usually acknowledged by the sane socks even when they're telling them off for being pretentious douchebags.
  • Sugar-and-Ice Personality: Cassie is this combined with Type A Tsundere. Olivia also has shades of this (she's a no-nonsense elitist type, but she showed her soft side in her intro thread while squeeing over Janet's chinchilla).
  • Supreme Chef: Surprisingly, Ralph is an excellent cook. Specially in regards to pizza, salads and fruit-based drinks. Julia's pretty good in the kitchen, too. Among the fandom characters, Pit shines in cooking... mostly because his ruling goddess cannot cook.
  • Testosterone Poisoning: Gordon tries to be the very image of MANLINESS!!! but tends to fail miserably.
  • Take That!: Pretty much all the "bad" socks are over the top mockeries of the creators' most hated Fan Dumb cliches.
  • Traumatic Haircut: Maxie and Julia teamed up to dye Trisha's hair bright red after she pulled a particularly nasty stunt on Molly and Syrius.
  • Unusual Euphemism: Stuart likes to refer to sex as "leveling up".
  • Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Maxie remembers when Gordon was a little angel. Kind of hard to imagine considering what he is these days.
  • Valley Girl: Trisha, which is like, totally ironic considering she prides herself on being like, soooo trendy and totally with the program and all.
  • Violently Protective Girlfriend: Tori for Jeb, Lune for Mittens, Morgan for Kristan. Julia is potentially this for Syrius, and Margot is quick to defend her boyfriend Kevin.
  • Vomit Discretion Shot: Syrius, when he ran off to be sick over the reveal of "Fanon Duo"'s true self.
  • Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Rod constantly makes like he's puking over the idea of yaoi. Mittens has done this a lot, too, much to the disgust of others.
  • When You Coming Home, Dad?: Heather, who laments not being allowed to travel with her dad after the divorce. Jeb is also a milder case; Ronald's a great father, but is an accomplished doctor who spends a lot of time away from home.
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Gordon and rabbits, Lucy and frogs, Missy and penguins. Nancy, meanwhile, has a more serious phobia; due to past trauma, she can't stand to be inside cars.
  • Windmill Political: Cassie is this when it comes to Fanservice, convinced that a female character in a bikini is tantamount to the industry trying to shut down feminism as a whole. Missy was a heavier version of this before she switched to flat-out misandry and bullying.
  • The Woobie: In-universe: Syrius, Molly, Nancy and Christine. Patrick is a deconstruction of this.
    • Jerkass Woobie: In-universe, a lot of socks felt sorry for Trisha after Alexa raped her, despite wanting to punt her in the head normally.
  • World of Badass: Milos insists every single canon ought to be stuffed with epic fight scenes, giant mecha, draco-mechas, everyone kicking some form of ass every five minutes and crossovers between canons of varying badassery. Also lots of hot chicks and lesbians.

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