Characters: The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
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McNinja Family And Close Associates
"I'm not any other doctor!!! I'm Doctor McNinja."
Our hero. He has the skills of a doctor and the soul of a healer, but he won't hesitate to get violent with anyone who deserves it. Made of a subtle sprinkling of Insanity over a base of Awesome.
- A Man Is Not a Virgin: Potentially subverted. An earlier comic where Mcninja was allowed to ride a unicorn brought up the mythology that only virgins were allowed to touch the creatures, but whether or not this was in effect was left intentionally vague, as he was too uncomfortable with the subject to talk about it. This combined with the recent revelation that the doctor has only ever dated one person...well, it's definitely a possibility.
- Animal Nemesis: With a particular pterodactyl and the rest of its kind, who occasionally crop up to cause random problems.
- Badass Bookworm: Well, he IS a doctor, after all.
- Bad Liar: In spite of being a ninja. It gets Lampshaded in the Alt Text that he was trained for years in lying well.
- Berserk Button: REALLY hates Pteradactyls.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Doctor McNinja is a vigilante, has no qualms about killing bad guys, and his office suffers gunfire and explosions frequently. But he's also a dedicated doctor, and can cure almost any normal or supernatural disease.
- Charles Atlas Super Power: He casually lifts up and and throws a vending machine in the first issue. It only gets more epic after that.
- He can punch ghosts by humming the Ghostbusters theme.
- Combat Medic: Though, more often than not, Judy has to patch him up. At least once the dichotomy between healing and killing is brought up.
- Complexity Addiction: His occasional scheme can get needlessly complicated and even downright ridiculous. This bites him when he tries to stop the dinosaur scout from transmitting Earth's coordinates to his people.
- Dead Person Impersonation: Pretends to be Dr. McLuchador, who actually died in anonymity, to infiltrate Radical's gang.
- Does Not Like Magic: Due to a bad experience with it (his grandfather's death), he hates magic and ultimately seeks to figure out how it works and fits into the natural world.
- Everyone Calls Him Barkeep: Even his parents just tend to call him "my son". See No Name Given, below.
- Fan Boy: Of Batman. Yes, really.
- Genre Savvy: Jumping away from explosions is always better than taking cover. A lone ninja is stronger than thirty ninjas.
- Outside of Action genres, however, he has a tendency to overlook the obvious.
- Hero Insurance: Instantly pardoned and forgiven for any broken laws, provided he gets home to his office and says "Base!" before the cops get to him.
- High-Altitude Interrogation: When questioning Dr. Knickerbockers, he hosts him in a trailer with an open back, being pulled by an airplane.
- Inappropriate Role Model: When the Doctor is confronted with his fears, the first one to hit a nerve is when he is told he is a bad role model for Gordito.
- Inner Monologue: Often. Doc has been known to argue with his inner voice.(And lose.)
- McNinja: Trope Namer. He's Irish-American, and a ninja.
- Necessarily Evil: While infiltrating Radical's gang as Dr. McLuchador, he does not enjoy the heist he is employed to go along with; Namely, ruining the owners of a pizza restaurant because they aren't radical enough for King Radical. He made up for it at the end after finally beating Radical and hiring the two for a city-wide pizza party.
- No Name Given: We know he has one, but he never uses it. A wizard is involved in some way. When Dr. McNinja was a child, he angered a powerful ghost wizard. In order to protect his grandson from the wizard's terrible curse, his grandfather, John McNinja gave up the future doctor's true name as an offering to The Powers That Be in exchange for protecting him. As a result, the ghost wizard was Taken for Granite and his name was erased from all of existence, leaving him as the only one to still remember it. If he ever tells anyone else his true name, the ghost wizard will be released.
- Omnidisciplinary Scientist:
- One of the few justified examples in that he was cloned multiple times in order to attain multiple doctorates. Then, all clones but one were re-merged, resulting in the doc we all know and love.McNinja: I'm a doctor. I know science.
- He's also a talented actor, impersonating McLuchador well enough to have fooled everyone. The narrow areas Doc doesn't have expertise in are Computers and Agronomy / Botany, as Old McNinja never merged with him again.
- One of the few justified examples in that he was cloned multiple times in order to attain multiple doctorates. Then, all clones but one were re-merged, resulting in the doc we all know and love.
- Pay Evil unto Evil: After getting all the information he wants from Dr. Knickerbockers, he tosses him a parachute and casually kicks him out of an airplane, singing he doesn't feel bad because Knickerbockers is a bad guy.
- Science Hero: While his usual method of solving problems is to punch or stab them, he makes use of his "doctorin'" skills to come up with cures for Paul Bunyan's Disease, ghost possession, the mummy's curse, and Franz Rayner's ninja drug.
- Where Did We Go Wrong?: On the receiving end of this from his parents. His mother became a ninja through training, and thus did not learn how to raise a ninja child. His father came from a long line of ninjas and was never taught how for traditional reasons. They tried to inspire him using Batman. But instead of becoming a proper, ruthless, amoral mercenary, their son used his ninja skills for vigilantism and chose medicine as his main career.
"These are no coward's weapons."
The effing badass kid: Doc's ward and protégé. His father was a circus performer with a incredible finishing routine — until it went wrong.
- A Boy and His X: A boy and his velociraptor named Yoshi.
- Bad Ass Mustache: Grew it with sheer force of will.
- Bilingual Bonus: His name means "Little Fattie" in Spanish. Kind of essential to understanding the joke in this comic.
- Future Badass: Not that he's not badass in the present, but in the future he's an even more badass resistance leader.
- The Gunslinger: Provides the page image.
- He Is All Grown Up: Doc's reaction to seeing Future!Gordito is "You got handsome."
- Kid Sidekick: The Doc wants to think of him as the Robin to his Batman, save for the fact that Gordito is not a Cheerful Child.
- Would Hit a Girl:
- Gordito enters school completely hated by all the other students. At one point, a girl slams him with her locker, apparently in annoyance that he's in her way since their lockers are right next to each other. He responds by giving her a black eye.
- When Hortense tries to stop Dr. McNinja from ending King Radical's villainous scheme, Gordito punches her in the face. And then does it again, just because he could. And then again.
Judy the Gorilla
"Ook ugh." translation
Doc's receptionist and occasional muscle. She works for the doctor because his life is very exciting and also because she is a professional.
- Badass: With a rocket launcher, she is actually more dangerous than Mongo.
- Badass Driver: Doc trusts her to jump an explosion with him hanging from the back of the vehicle. Earlier, when she went to fetch a new car and discovered herself in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, the logical course of action was to get to the car so she could drive through the middle of the horde, arriving back at the office with only four zombies clinging to the roof.
- A story showing how they met shows that she can sign and drive at the same time.
- Berserk Button: Her hot dogs were clearly marked, but unfortunately, Yoshi can't read...
- Consummate Professional: According to the Doc. Goes back to work bulldozing the remains of their bombed office with little more than a grunt of acknowledgement after getting choked out by Agent Bearclaw. In response to the chapter title asking "Why a gorilla?"Doc: Because she's a professional, and she behaves like one!
Yoshi the Raptor
A wild velociraptor formerly owned by a gang of Mexican paleontologist banditos (don't ask); currently Gordito's mount and pet. Not too smart but makes up for it with teeth.
- Kick the Dog: Yoshi eats Judy's kitten. It survives.
- You No Take Candle: The future dinosaur invaders tried to uplift living dinosaurs on Earth. It worked mostly, but their grasp of language is limited.
"We are on Eastern Pain Time, and it is Dan O'Clock."
Doc's dad. Defeated Frans Rayner to become head of the American guild of ninjas in the 80's. His mustache gives him instant respect and authority, which is why he cut a hole in his ninja mask so it would always be on display.
- Badass Grandpa: He's old enough for his son to have a (if surrogate) son of his own, and is just as skilled a ninja as Doc is.
- Badass Mustache: When it was revealed by his mask getting torn in a fight, he instantly became leader of the Ninja Guild.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Like his son. Believes that setting yourself on fire to avoid capture is so effective it overrides the obvious drawbacks. "Ninjas can't catch you if you are on fire."
- Hollywood Hacking: Believes this is the only way to interact with computers. He has no idea how to do this, unlike Sean, so he throws old routers and bashes keyboards into them. It predictably does not work.Dan: HACK IT.
Sean: But I—
Dan: HACK THAT ROBOT.
Alt Text: USE...THE NET.
- Man on Fire: Can sustain extended/indeterminate periods while being fully aflame. That his ninja gi is fire resistant certainly helps.
- McNinja: Also an Irish-American ninja.
- Papa Wolf: His response to a pirate claiming to have kidnapped his son is... pretty violent.
- Screw Yourself: Apparently a believer in this.Dan: Oh god, he's probably making out with [his clone] right now. That's what they're doing.
Mitzi: ...what makes you think that?
Dan: Because it's what any of us would do! Try to keep up!
- Testosterone Poisoning: On occasion. His mustache alone convinced an entire clan of ninjas that he should be their leader. Also there's the point of setting yourself on fire to escape capture.
"Care to race to see who can sink the boat first?"Doc's mom. Known for her two specialties: Pickled beets and precisely aimed demolitions.
- Action Mom: A mother of two who is probably the best fighter in the series. She can defeat Doc with ease.
- Blue and Orange Morality: She would kill her children out of love, as an example. Probably Rule of Funny at work, though.
- Lethal Chef: An odd example, in that she purposely makes her food poisonous in order to train others. Then again, it seems that her beets really are atrocious even when they haven't been poisoned - her family chokes them down anyway out of either fear or respect.
- Mama Bear: She will do anything to protect her children, including killing them.
- Team Mom: To Doc (obviously) and Gordito. She seems to see the latter as part of her family, or at least very close.
Sean "Dark Smoke Puncher" McNinja
"What's that, an eldritch horror? Concussive blast!"
Doc's younger brother. Torn between his parents' desire for him to be a good ninja, his own geeky tendencies, and his longing for popularity, resulting in a use of over-the-top "hip" slang. Wearing a ninja mask.
- Badass Bookworm/Genius Bruiser: Being a ninja who can build robots has got to make you one of these.
- Expy: Intentionally makes himself one of Doctor Strange in the "Futures Trading" timeline, down to the Badass Cape.
- Gadgeteer Genius: For instance: he's capable of designing a missile from scratch and hacking into NASA's mission control to launch it given less than a day's notice. What's more, the family routinely expects that from him.
- Legacy Character: In the Bad Future, he calls himself Dr. McNinja. Though he specifies that it isn't because of his brother, it's just part of his schtick.
- Magic from Technology: The essence of his "technomagic".
- McNinja: Like his brother, he's an Irish-American ninja.
"I'm a farmer."A clone of the Doc. He's a farmer.
- Alternate Self: Dr. McNinja wanted to learn it all in order to become an Omnidisciplinary Scientist like Batman. His teacher provided him with a project to create clones that learn and eventually reintegrate into the original. Thanks to arriving late and a time traveller’s careless meddling, the one assigned to study farming didn't and ended up hiding himself away on a farm. Franz Rayner abducts him as bait against his original, but together they manage to escape. Old ultimately joins King Radical, and turns on his original.
- Conservation of Ninjutsu: Why Rayner cloned him.
- Expendable Clone: Subverted; when the McNinja family hesitates to rescue him, Doc argues that Old is just as much their son as he is, and when Old joins Radical his right as a clone to make that decision is never brought up. Long story short, since he couldn't ever join back up with Doc, Old is officially his own person.
- Face-Heel Turn: He joins King Radical and turns against his original. Not that he sees it that way. He thinks that Dr. McNinja is the bad guy for opposing Radical, since Radical is making the city a cooler place. Never mind how Radical has little regard for the consequences of his reckless actions or how many people they hurt.
- Heel Realization: Old starts realizing that he's working for the bad guy after King Radical uses a giant robot to kill quite a lot of people. But after some thought (and after seeing his crush supports the plan), he decides to continue supporting it.
- Hopeless Suitor: He retains Dr. McNinja's former crush on Hortense and works as her partner for this reason. Even though he knows she will never love him back due to whatever happened between her and the Dr.
- Ignored Epiphany: He briefly feels bad about helping King Radical when his boss enacts a plan that will kill millions of people, but is swayed back by Hortense.
- Punny Name: Old McDonald had a farm, EE-I-EE-I-O!
- She Is Not My Girlfriend: Dr. McNinja accuses Old of working for King Radical because he is now together with Hortense. Old says they're not, but both of them are clearly quite flustered by the accusation. He also reacts awkwardly when Hortense muses on the losers of their world being replaced with hunks, and repeatedly demonstrates that he has some romantic inclinations towards her.
- Doc reveals that because Old was cloned from him before he broke up with Hortense, he never had a chance to get over her like regular Doc did.
- Stealth Expert: Unlike the doctor, he spent most of his life hiding, meaning he's much better at what he does on that front.
- Would Hurt a Child: He was prepared to kill Gordito to fulfill King Radical's plans. Hortense of all people had to be the one to hold him back.
John McNinjaDr. McNinja's grandfather, Dan's father. Retired, has a massive beard.
- Anti-Hero: As a reminder: the McNinjas are ninjas, meaning mercenaries for hire. He's perfectly happy to accept an assassination contract on some guy just because that guy's sister wants his inheritance, and justifies it as merely providing a service and shifting all the blame to the woman for taking out the contract in the first place.
- Badass Beard: Unlike his son's moustache, he has a full-grown beard that's more than a foot long. He got the idea to cut his mask and let it hang out from Dan, though.
- Badass Grandpa: Doc's grandfather, an old man whose first appearance is marked by Mitzi and Dan (both highly dangerous ninjas in their own right) going on full alert. He subsequently managed to escape being blown up with a rocket launcher.
- Cannibalism Superpower: He got his powers by eating Spellcasting Pig King Overlord pork chops
- Fight Magnet: He's made quite a few enemies. When he comes to visit the kids, they go on alert not because they're worried about him, but because they know he'll be dragging along someone who wants to kill him.
- Heroic RROD: All of his more powerful spells cause physical damage. A particularly strong one ends up giving him a heart attack.
- Heroic Sacrifice: He casts an extremely powerful spell to save his grandson from a ghost wizard. The result leaves him completely drained and apparently kills him.
- Kung-Fu Wizard: Turns out, he's a spellcaster.
- Post Humous Character: In the present, he is considered to be dead, though Dan McNinja says he will never know this for sure. He does show up in an arc set in the past.
- Psychic Nosebleed: He lacks proper training and casting any spell with power strains his body, which can result in his eyes bleeding. He can still perform cantrips (minor spells) all he wants though.
- Retired Badass: To the point of deliberately letting people know where he is on occasion in order to keep them from searching him out.
- Uncertain Doom: In First Generation Ninja American, he apparently dies due to overuse of magic, and his body is left behind deep underground. But in Army of One, Dan says he will never know this for sure.
- Unskilled, but Strong: He has very powerful magic, but lacks proper wizard training.
The first villain to be introduced in the comic, guilty of defaming Dr. McNinja's name in a new burger promotion. Appears later in "There is a Raptor in my Office" and later in "AWOL MD"
- Burger Fool: As might be expected from a Ronald McDonald Captain Ersatz, he owns the McBonald restaurant chain.
- Captain Ersatz: Originally was Ronald McDonald, but his name was quietly changed to Donald McBonald years later.
- Enemy Mime: Displays the ability to cause the things he mimes to exist in his second appearance.
- Enemy Mine: Forced to work with the doctor to apprehend Jetpack Man in order to preserve profit.
- Mecha-Mooks: Robots fight for him because everyone else has too much dignity to work at McBonald's.
- Monster Clown: His appearance years later in color only cements this.
- Retcon: Was originally Ronald McDonald, but Hastings changed it to pre-emptively avoid a lawsuit.
- Your Mime Makes It Real: Donald is a mime with this ability. The hero defeats him with a pantomime of an invisible rocket launcher, while King Radical simply decks him while yelling "I don't believe in mimes!"
Became the bitter enemy to the McNinja family after Dan humiliated him. Did a series of action films in which he carved a swath through ninjakind with the aid of copious amounts of The Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu and bloodshed.
- The Ahnold: Hastings decided that putting on his accent phonetically in the text looked too ridiculous, asking the reader in the Alt Text to imagine the accent.
- Awesome but Impractical: His laser eye. Since it has no power supply of its own, it drains his physical energy when he fires it.
- Back from the Dead: Dr. McNinja throws him off a cliff over jagged rocks. Death tries to claim him, but Frans Rayner manages to use his mastery over his body to stay alive after he should have been killed.
- Never Found the Body: The Doctor tosses him off a cliff over jagged rocks. The Police later try to inform the Doc that they never found Rayner's body, though he doesn't learn this until later due to not bothering to take the calls.
- Badass Beard: His neckbeard, while normally the total opposite of this trope, is able to block hits.
- Big Bad: In the D.A.R.E. story arc and in the Army of One arc.
- Charles Atlas Super Power: He is so well trained that he can rearrange his body's organs and vital areas.
- Critical Research Failure: In-Universe. He plans to become president by killing the president. When Gordito tells him that's not how it works, he answers that by that point he'll be so popular nobody will care. What's more, at the end of the arc, Dr. McNinja points out he's an immigrant, not a natural-born American citizen, and thus not eligible for the presidency to start with.
- Dangerously Genre Savvy: Invokes the Conservation of Ninjutsu against the McNinja Clones. More accurately, he made an army of McNinja clones specifically so that he could invoke it.
- Engrish: "You are the baby school, and I am the Big League Chew."
- Eye Beam: After his first defeat he had one installed to replace a missing eye. It uses his own body's calorie reserve as an energy source though, so using it once renders him incapable of fighting.
- Villain Decay: Lampshaded and exaggerated. By now Dr. McNinja has fought him, and defeated him, so often that he is no longer considered a threat at all.
- Villain with Good Publicity: Starts out as one. When his plans to take over the US by becoming leader of the American Ninjas failed, he launched a crusade to exterminate them and made this into a series of films. Due to Ninjas being ruthless amoral assassins for hire, they were little missed, and this won him a great deal of good publicity.
MongoGenetically constructed "Uber-ninja" who assists Frans Rayner. Kind of dumb. Wields chainsaw nunchucks in his first appearance.
- Chainsaw Good: He uses chainsaw nunchucks in his first appearance.
- Dumb Muscle: Capable of carrying two grown men in one hand, but has the mind of a toddler.
- Megaton Punch: After his Villain Decay, McNinja can punch him to the skies without breaking a sweat.
- Psychopathic Man Child: Rayner calls him off by offering him Happy Meal toys.
- Technical Pacifist: Refuses to kill in his second appearance, due to the death of a small child he became friends with. However, this does not stop him from delivering Dr. McNinja to Rayner's hands for him to kill McNinja himself.
- Villain Decay: Hits this just as hard as Rayner.
Dr. KnickerbockersExtremely short neurogenetipharmocologist in the employ of Frans Rayner. Developed the ninja drug responsible for the events of the DARE arc. Somewhat creepy.
- Evil Laughter: "Eeheeheehee!"
- Omnidisciplinary Scientist: He specializes in drugs that affect neurology (such as the drug ninjas), but he's dabbled with cloning as well.
- Real Life Writes the Plot: Based on a series of recurring nightmares Kent the inker experienced and in his tenure, he refused to ink any page with him in it, which had Hastings do it instead. It is poor.
The real thing. His immortality has enabled him to master every technology and amass the world's greatest minds and talents in his secret moon base, but he is getting bored.
- Affably Evil: Sure, he's willing to kill people or damn their souls, but he's pretty friendly and polite about it. Also, he's perfectly willing to help people if they just ask for it, provided it doesn't interfere with his plans.
- Art Shift: One strip he appears in is animated, appearing to be a normal comic until suddenly he descends from the ceiling. Since this is the only time such a thing has been done, it's unexpected and pretty effective.
- Big Bad: Of Punch Dracula.
- The Cavalry: In "Futures Trading".
- Evil Plan: He wants to know what exists as an afterlife and does evil things to find out.
- Genre Savvy: Fighting in a hall of mirrors is a great asset when one has no reflection.
- Genre Blind: Somehow did not realize that if there's a fight in a hall of mirrors, if his opponent sees him, it's really him.
- Monster Lord: He's not called DRACULA! KING OF ALL VAMPIRES! for nothing.
- Painting the Medium: Whenever he's introduced, he is called DRACULA! KING OF ALL VAMPIRES!, with that emphasis.
- Public Domain Character: Lampshaded in the Alt Text.
- Who Wants to Live Forever?: It's not that he doesn't, he's just done so much awesome stuff that now he's bored and getting curious about what might lie on the other side of death.
- Xanatos Gambit: A variation on the traditional trope in that he's curious about what happens after death, but not willing to die yet himself, so he plans to kill and blackmail (in that order) the only person he believes is capable of actually dying, finding out what happens, and coming BACK to tell him, the good Doctor. If it works, wonderful; goal achieved. If it doesn't, no big loss. There are others like him and he won't have to find him because they'll come to him.
- You Never Asked: The reason he didn't intervene in the Bad Future where dinosaurs took over the Earth was because no one asked him to help.Dracula: They usually don't like the laser.
The doctor's ex-girlfriend from college. Now works as a mercenary of some sort.
King Radical (formerly Sir Sicknasty of Spades, formerly Charles "Chuck" Goodrich)
"Dude."The most radical man in the radical land. Conducts amoral dealings to improve Cumberland and make it more radical. Antagonizes Doc for fun.
- Arch-Enemy: To Dr McNinja.
- Anti-Villain: His primary motivation is, in fact, to better Cumberland and save his home universe by merging them together. However, his plan for doing so would eventually kill millions of people. He is at least, making sure that the biggest jerks on the planet are the first to die, with the more radical native residents being spared, but eventually, even innocent boring people are killed as well.
- Ambiguously Evil: He's almost certainly up to something, and he's done some pretty questionable things like blowing up Doc's office for refusing to treat one of his henchmen and murdering a version of Chuck Goodrich, but he's also a largely benevolent force, using his mafia to genuinely improve the quality of life in Cumberland.
- Awesome Moment of Crowning: In the Radical Lands, new kings are chosen by the lands themselves, and are marked with the tattoo "Most Rad." on their fingers, declaring them literally the most Radical person in the world.
- Badass Beard: As badass as everything else about him, he sports a well-trimmed grey beard.
- Bad Boss: He outright admits he doesn't like anyone who works for him, punches someone who brings him bad news and his response to accidentally killing several of his scientists is saying "well farts." In fact, his army of "common men" were specifically hired because they are the worst, lamest people Radical can find, and thus the first who will be shoved out of existence when King Radical summons his people from the Radical Lands.
- Berserk Button:
- Thanks to Sparklelord, he hates rainbows.
- Don't confuse him for the Burger King. On the other hand, this prompted a rather nifty costume upgrade, complete with full-length purple cloak and sash.
- Big Bad: Of many arcs.
- Big "WHAT?!": When he learns that his favourite minion, Dr. McLuchador, was actually his Arch-Enemy, Dr. McNinja in disguise.
- Blue and Orange Morality: All he really cares about is what makes the world a more or less radical place to live.
- Catch Phrase: "Radical."
- Double Entendre: He's radical in all senses of the word.
- Evil Counterpart: He's a version of Chuck Goodrich from an alternate universe (the Radical Lands), and unlike the standard Chucks of the Doctor's universe, he has no problem whatsoever with killing people himself.
- Fallen Hero: Not that he seems all that villainous, but he's certainly the major antagonist, and he pays little regard for the consequences of his actions or who they hurt. Back in Radical Land he was their king and, by virtue of Asskicking Equals Authority, their greatest hero. But being trapped in a far lamer dimension has made him depressed, and it has even made him forget things about the Radical Lands, prompting him to "fix" his current world by any means necessary. Taken a step further in the All The King's Dirtbikes and All The King's Men arc, where it's revealed that he's actually an alternate universe version of Chuck Goodrich.
- Fantastic Racism: Back when he was still Sir Sicknasty, Radical was somewhat racist against horses, believing them unfit for the Radical Throne. Needless to say, this didn't exactly ease Sparklelord's anger over not being picked as king.
- Fish out of Water: When he first enters Dr. McNinja's world, it takes him a bit of time to figure out that the animals and trees of this realm cannot talk. He is also shocked at how plain the river tastes, since the rivers back home are made from the finest Mountain Dew. But most of all, he misses the cool people of his homeland. Compared to the Radical Lands, Dr. McNinja's world feels lifeless.
- Ignored Epiphany: King Radical's plans revolve around replacing boring people of Dr. McNinja's world with the awesome people of his home, starting off with his own minions, who are the worst people Radical can find, and thus the first who will die as a result of his plans. When King Radical's top minion, Herschel, is killed, King Radical actually starts showing signs of remorse. But one page later, he sees his old friend, Steven the lycanthropic centaur and excitedly remarks how great this is because Steven is much more awesome than Herschel ever was.
- Kick the Dog:
- When his Big Entrance kills several innocent scientists in his employ (much to McNinja's horror), the most sympathy he can muster is an annoyed "Farts!".
- His treatment of the Friend Brothers, whom he taught to make radical pizza, but turned out to not be radical enough for his tastes. So he ordered 100 incredibly expensive pizzas, then had "McLuchador" hijack them so he didn't have to pay, instantly bankrupting them (and leaving job applications for Pizza Hut and Papa Johns just to rub salt in the wound). He claims they'll be fine if they rob a bank or something.
- In an effort to generate the radical energies needed to summon his people from the Radical Lands, he uses a giant robot made from the city to attack the US army, killing huge numbers of people. Additionally, the process of summoning them replaces the boring people of Dr. McNinja's world, effectively killing them. While the horrible people who work for King Radical are the first to be erased, eventually, boring innocents die as well.
- Knuckle Tattoos: His reads "MOST RAD.", they were part of his coronation.
- Legacy Character: He's not the first King Radical. He was promoted when the previous King Radical died.
- Man of the City: He is devoted to making Cumberland more... well, radical. Because of his influence, the city has, among other things, skydiving news anchors, a doctor who battled an Eldritch Abomination to cure someone's acne, and a Captain Ersatz of The Incredible Hulk advertising for a grocery store. He's not afraid to use illegal means for livening up Cumberland, and Doc is absolutely sure he's plotting something more sinister, but everyone else supports his efforts.
- Omnidisciplinary Scientist: He isn't really a scientist at heart, but he occasionally dabbles in it to support his schemes, and his knowledge from the Radical Lands allows him to create all sorts of fantastic machinery.
- Quip to Black: Well, the closest you can get in comics medium, when he grins and comments "...Radical".
- Secret Handshake: Has one with Ron Wizard, his Court Magician. It is "A complicated ritual of hand slaps, finger locks and backflips that takes approximately twenty minutes."
- Secret Test: Gives one to the owners of a restaurant he helped improve to see if they were radical enough for him. They fail and end up ruined as per the test's design.
- Super Strength: He's strong enough to punch someone through a stone wall.
- Super Window Jump: As is to be expected, King Radical's preferred method of entering any given room.◊
- Totally Radical: In name only - he's perfectly articulate otherwise.
- Troll: Best shown when he mockingly reminds Doc about how his defeat of Sparklelord is a Pyrrhic Victory.
- The Unfettered: All he cares about is making the world a more radical place. And he doesn't care about how many lives he has to ruin or destroy in order to do it. When the US army warns him not to use his robot to attack anything, just as he was trying to figure out what to do with it to summon more of his people, he gives a Psychotic Smirk and attacks them.
- Utopia Justifies the Means: Everything he's done was to build up enough Radical Energy to allow the summoning of the cool people from the Radical Lands. He intends to do this again, and again, saving them from their dying homeland, and bringing them to Earth to make it a better place. The bit that needs justifying? Every Radical Man he summons will take the place of a person on Earth. Initially, it will merely take out the world's biggest jerks, but eventually, anything that isn't radical enough will be shunted out of existence. Not only that, but King Radical's plan to build up enough Radical Energy involves killing huge numbers of people with a giant ghost powered robot.
- Villain with Good Publicity: His evilness is questionable, as seen above, but he is at the very least a mob boss. Nonetheless, everyone in town seems to love him.
- Wham Shot: The last panel of Page 75 of "All the King's Dirtbikes and All the King's Men": King Radical is actually a version of Chuck Goodrich from another universe.
- Wig, Dress, Accent: The long gray hair, the mustache, the beard, the sunglasses, and the unbelievably radical outfit do an absolutely amazing job of hiding the fact that he has the exact same face as Chuck Goodrich.
- Worthy Opponent: After Dr. McNinja's apparent death Radical concludes that McNinja was the only radical thing in Cumberland - at least until he remembers all the others.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: Due to having two Chucks attempt to stop him, and murdering one and paradoxing the other out of existence, King Radical has worked all this time under the assumption that he succeeds in his plans so everything will be justified and work out. He doesn't.
- You Already Changed The Past: Thinks this is in effect, due to Alpha-Chuck attempting a Heroic Sacrifice to stop him and causing a divergent timeline Chuck to paradox out of existence. However, ends up being Wrong Genre Savvy.
- You Monster!: Played for Laughs when King Radical summons his court wizard from the awesome, if dying Radical Lands into a healthy world with bad pizza.
Ron Wizard (Sir Cowabunga of Clubs)
Ron is King Radical's Court Magician back in Radical Land, and the second most radical man of them all (after King Radical of course).
- Artificial Limbs: A robot arm.
- Badass Bandolier: Two of them, seemingly for no other reason than to be badass. Which they are.
- Badass Cape: Reminiscent of Doctor Strange's first (blue) Cloak of Levitation, minus the Amulet of Agamotto.
- Badass Moustache: Not comparable to Dan's but still pretty badass.
- The Dragon: He is King Radical's court wizard and the second most radical man from the Radical Lands.
- Early-Bird Cameo: He appeared in a flashback in the "Doc Gets Rad" arc.
- Ignored Epiphany: He asserts that racism is lame and that the Radical Lands have long developed past it. And yet, during Sir Sicknasty's coronation as King Radical, he doesn't bother chastising Sir Sicknasty for demeaning horses as unsuitable for the Radical Throne. Though at this point it's not clear if this is his belief or if the Radical Lands don't consider horses radical enough on principle.
- Laser-Guided Amnesia: Inflicts this on King Radical's army of common men to make them forget King Radical's Motive Rant about how he is going to shove them out of existence, thereby avoiding a Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal.
- Secret Handshake: Has one with King Radical. "A complicated ritual of hand slaps, finger locks and backflips that takes approximately twenty minutes."
- Stating the Simple Solution: A variant. When King Radical says that his plan to build up enough Radical energy to bring his people from the Radical Lands isn't working, even making the city a giant robot has only brought Ron over, Ron suggests that KR should make the robot do something.
Sparklelord (formerly Sparkledancer, Sir Hellacious of Hearts)Evil unicorn who led a revolution of the radical land in an attempt to depose King Radical.
- Anti-Villain: He's shaping up to be one, having attempted to usurp the Radical Throne because the King Radical of the time (our King Radical's predecessor) was a douchebag.
- Arch-Enemy: To King Radical.
- Cursed with Awesome: Literally. The empire of the Radical Lands invaded his forest and twisted him with their magic to fit their ideals of what's "cool". He wasn't entirely happy with the results.
- The Corrupter: He gradually drives his rider to madness to satiate his appetite for destruction.
- The Dreaded: He is one of the few entities King Radical truly fears.
- Fallen Hero: Used to be a knight of the Radical court alongside Sir Sicknasty of Spades, now King Radical.
- Klingon Promotion: Killed the previous King Radical in hopes of becoming the next King. When Sir Sicknasty was chosen, Sparkledancer promised he'd kill him too.
- Liquid Assets: He was draining power from the Radical Lands in a bid to become a Physical God.
- Omnicidal Maniac: He exists only to destroy and inflicted a corruption that has been gradually destroying his own world. According to King Radical, given the chance, he will destroy Dr. McNinja's world too.
- Real Men Wear Pink: His natural form in our world is a badass motorcycle that just happens to have a rainbow design on it. Also, he's a unicorn in whose name is Sparkledancer.
- The Resenter: Part of the reason he turned evil. He was one of the four knights of the Radical Lands, and felt that he deserved to become king. When the Radical Lands chose Sir Sicknasty of Spades instead, he tried to destroy everything out of spite.
- Stable Time Loop: The doctor throws him into a time portal that leads back to where he was discovered. The unicorn subsequently gets caught in a time loop, going through the exact same events over and over again, presumably for the rest of eternity.
- That Man Is Dead: To his previous name, Sparkledancer.
- Unicorn: His true form.
- You Cannot Grasp the True Form: Dr. McNinja's world couldn't handle the sheer majesty of his true form, and thus transformed him into the closest thing.
Martin BirdingOld college friend of Dr. McNinja who was once a teammate of his on a crime-fighting superhero team. Now he owns a chain of grocery stores.
- Because You Were Nice to Me: It's shown that one of the motivators for him hulking out to save Doc and Gordito was because those two were one of the few people who treated him well.
- Dumb Muscle: Literally. His intelligence is inversely proportional to how hulked-out he is at the time.
- Expy: Of the Incredible Hulk
- Freudian Excuse: He didn't actually intend to betray the team. His powers make him dumb, and people frequently take advantage of him when they find out, so he decided that being thought of as ruthless instead of gullible was the lesser of two evils.
- Gag Penis: When hulked-out. The sight of it brought McNinja to his knees sobbing like a kid.
- Hanlon's Razor: The moral of Martin's character arc.
- Hulking Out: As part of his expy status to the Trope Namer.
- Lamarck Was Right: He inherited his powers from his father, who got them while experimenting on himself.
- Magic Pants: Averted hilariously.
- Power Incontinence: He ends up getting stuck halfway between his normal form and monster form, requiring a trip to Dr. McNinja.
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy: His father (an expy of Stephen Hawking, hence the surname) is very unhappy about Martin's decision to use his powers to shill a grocery store chain.
Charles "Chuck" Goodrich (the Mayor)
"Greetings from the future, you son of a bitch!"Mayor of Cumberland, elected for his plans to stop zombies destroying the world.
- Big Damn Heroes: One alternate future Chuck leaps into the main timeline out of nowhere, narrowly stopping a mind controlled Dr McNinja from assassinating President Funkhouser.
- Catch Phrase: "Greetings from the future you son of a bitch!"
- Chosen One: Chuck Goodrich is from the future. He came back in time to avert disaster, and succeeded. Except averting the current disaster always leads to a new future disaster in the new timeline, and a new future Chuck Goodrich comes back to avert the new disaster. Chuck-Prime is growing rather tired of it. This even happens when it's a Chuck in an alternate reality instead of just an alternate timeline.
- Crazy-Prepared: Chuck designed the world's first zombie outbreak defense system well before the world's first zombie outbreak. He installed the system after traveling back in time from a future overrun by zombies.
- Heroic Sacrifice:
- One Chuck sacrifices himself to the Horrorsaurus in order to get the NASAGhast to attack it.
- Chuck Prime hurls himself into the time portal to close it forever, knowing as he does that he will almost certainly die at King Radical's hands at the other end.
- Passing the Torch: One Chuck more or less takes over Chuck Prime's life after he went back to do what he came to do. Then the guy who took over from Chuck Prime as mayor passes his title to the new Chuck so he can go off on adventures again.
- Temporal Paradox: Chuck ends up creating these whenever he sets out to fix a problem.
- Set Right What Once Went Wrong: Every incarnation of him has to do this.
- The Slow Path: Chuck picks the wrong moment to jump out of the time stream and his temporal stabilizer gets smashed, giving him plenty of time to prepare for the problem he went back to solve.
- You Can't Fight Fate: Chuck will always travel back in time after discovering a time portal. This applies even when its a Chuck from an alternate universe like the Radical Lands.
Ben Franklin IIA clone of Benjamin Franklin and Dr. McNinja's college professor. Helping him is the focus of the Punch Dracula arc.
- Back from the Dead: After dying in the D.A.R.E. arc, he is brought back to life by Dracula's immortality serum... though he gradually transforms into a Headless Horseman and has to be given a Mercy Kill by Unfinished Business.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Tends to speak this way when in a sour mood.
"Shh... I prefer the spiders not to know my name."A mentally unstable doctor wearing a luchador mask. His primary means of healing his patients involves extreme methods, i.e. shoving the cure up their nose and then body-slamming them. Ran out of Cumberland by Dr. McNinja.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: His methods of healing are over-the-top and insane, but they work.
- Dead All Along: The real Dr. McLuchador died in anonymity years ago. Dr. McNinja briefly ran a Dead Person Impersonation gambit to infiltrate King Radical's gang.
- Combat Medic: He a doctor and a luchador. This comes with the territory.
- The Extremist Was Right: He's known for using extreme and dangerous remedies on his patients. However, those remedies also appear to work (at least when it's Dr. McNinja at work).
- Masked Luchador: Like Doctor McNinja, he wears a cultural mask and never removes it. Which makes it easier for McNinja to impersonate him.
- No Kill Like Overkill: One dose of a ultra-deadly poison should cure you. But let's use two, just to make sure.
- The Reveal: He IS Dr. McNinja. The real Dr. McLuchador died in anonymity years ago. The current one is actually Dr. McNinja running a Dead Person Impersonation gambit to infiltrate King Radical's gang.
- The Rival: to Dr. McNinja.
Dame Dudeical of Diamonds
Was one of Radical Land's four knights, along with Ron Wizard, Sir Sicknasty, and Sir Hellacious.
President Maria Funkhouser
President Maria Funkhouser
"Somebody is still trying to kill me."
The current president of the United States.
- Authority Equals Asskicking: Given the sort of world she lives in, it is hardly surprising an authority figure as important as her can fight.
- Awesome McCoolname: President Funkhouser.
- Bad Ass: Bursting in through the windows of the Oval Office while armed with automatic weapons and outnumbering her 3 to 1? You still won't be able to take her down.
- Boring but Practical: Ron Wizard puts her in the pilot seat of a Giant Mecha he created out of her tanks in order to create a radical foe to generate radical energies. After said energies start destabilizing, she starts wondering if maybe it would be better for an actual pilot to drive the mech instead of the president.
- Destructive Saviour: When King Radical attacks with a Giant Mecha made from the city of Cumberland, and she ends up in the cockpit of another mecha, she responds by attacking King Radical, endangering the people stuck inside Radical's mecha.
- Eyepatch of Power: She has one covering her left eye.
- Improvised Weapon: Took out three secret service agents with a flagpole.
- Our Presidents Are Different: She is a woman president, unlike any real life U.S. president as of when her character is introduced, so she's President Minority. Bonus points for being Ambiguously Brown. She's also got President Action going on, between the Eyepatch of Power and the epaulets and the fact that she piloted a Giant Mecha dinosaur made out of military vehicles against Cumberland, which has been transformed into a Giant Mecha. She originally wanted to pilot a giant mechanical George Washington, but it was never finished thanks to Obstructive Bureaucrats.