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Characters: The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
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McNinja Family And Close Associates

    Dr. McNinja 

Dr. McNinja

Our hero. He has the skills of a doctor and the soul of a healer, but he won't hesitate to get violent with anyone who deserves it. Made of a subtle sprinkling of Insanity over a base of Awesome.
  • Bad Liar: In spite of being a ninja.
  • Berserk Button: REALLY hates Pteradactyls.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Doctor McNinja is a vigilante, has no qualms about killing bad guys, and his office suffers gunfire and explosions frequently. But he's also a dedicated doctor, and can cure almost any normal or supernatural disease.
  • Charles Atlas Super Power: He casually lifts up and and throws a vending machine in the first issue. It only gets more epic after that.
  • Combat Medic: Though, more often than not, Judy has to patch him up. At least once the dichotomy between healing and killing is brought up.
  • Complexity Addiction: His occasional scheme can get needlessly complicated and even downright ridiculous. This bites him when he tries to stop the dinosaur scout from transmitting Earth's coordinates to his people.
  • Dead Person Impersonation: Pretends to be Dr. McLuchador, who actually died in anonymity, to infiltrate Radical's gang.
  • Everyone Calls Him Barkeep: Even his parents just tend to call him "my son". See No Name Given, below.
  • Genre Savvy: Jumping away from explosions is always better than taking cover. A lone ninja is stronger than thirty ninjas.
  • Hero Insurance: Instantly pardoned and forgiven for any broken laws, provided he gets home to his office and says "Base!" before the cops get to him.
  • Inner Monologue: Often. Doc has been known to argue with his inner voice.
    (And lose.)
    You hush.
    (No.)
  • McNinja: Trope Namer. He's Irish-American, and a ninja.
  • Necessarily Evil: While infiltrating Radical's gang as Dr. McLuchador, he does not enjoy the heist he is employed to go along with; Namely, ruining the owners of a pizza restaurant because they aren't radical enough for King Radical. He made up for it at the end after finally beating Radical and hiring the two for a city-wide pizza party.
  • No Name Given: We know he has one, but he never uses it. A wizard is involved in some way, but beyond that nothing is known.
  • Omnidisciplinary Scientist:
    • One of the few justified examples in that he was cloned multiple times in order to attain multiple doctorates. Then, all clones but one were re-merged, resulting in the doc we all know and love.
      McNinja: I'm a doctor. I know science.
    • He's also a talented actor, impersonating McLuchador well enough to have fooled everyone. The narrow areas Doc doesn't have expertise in are Computers and Agronomy / Botany, as Old McNinja never merged with him again.
  • Science Hero: While his usual method of solving problems is to punch or stab them, he makes use of his "doctorin'" skills to come up with cures for Paul Bunyan's Disease, ghost possession, and Franz Rayner's ninja drug.
  • Where Did We Go Wrong?: On the receiving end of this from his parents. His mother became a ninja through training, and thus did not learn how to raise a ninja child. His father came from a long line of ninjas and was never taught how for traditional reasons. They tried to inspire him using Batman. But instead of becoming a proper, ruthless, ninja mercenary, their son used his ninja skills for vigilantism and chose medicine as his main career.

    Gordito 

Gordito Delgado

The effing badass kid: Doc's ward and protege. His father was a circus performer with a incredible finishing routine — until it went wrong.
  • Future Badass: Not that he's not badass in the present, but in the future he's an even more badass resistance leader.
  • The Gunslinger: Provides the page image.
  • Kid Sidekick: The Doc wants to think of him as the Robin to his Batman, save for the fact that Gordito is not a Cheerful Child.
  • Would Hit a Girl:
    • Gordito enters school completely hated by all the other students. At one point, a girl slams him with her locker, apparently in annoyance that he's in her way since their lockers are right next to each other. He responds by giving her a black eye.
    • When Hortense tries to stop Dr. McNinja from ending King Radical's villainous scheme, Gordito punches her in the face. And then does it again, just because he could. And then again.

    Judy 

Judy the Gorilla

Doc's receptionist and occasional muscle. Don't ask why she stays with Doc — we don't know either... yet.
  • Badass: With a rocket launcher, she is actually more dangerous than Mongo.
  • Badass Driver: Doc trusts her to jump an explosion with him hanging from the back of the vehicle. Earlier, when she went to fetch a new car and discovered herself in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, the logical course of action was to get to the car so she could drive through the middle of the horde, arriving back at the office with only four zombies clinging to the roof.
    • A story showing how they met shows that she can sign and drive at the same time.
  • Berserk Button: Her hot dogs were clearly marked, but unfortunately, Yoshi can't read...
  • Consummate Professional: According to the Doc. Goes back to work bulldozing the remains of their bombed office with little more than a grunt of acknowledgement after getting choked out by Agent Bearclaw. In response to the chapter title asking "Why a gorilla?"
    Doc: Because she's a professional, and she behaves like one!
  • Kindhearted Cat Lover: Judy later gets a cat (though the Doc decides to name him "Ice Cream Cake")
  • Phrase Catcher: Why is the gorilla a receptionist? "Because she is a professional and she behaves like one!"
  • Shout-Out: to Koko, a female gorilla who can use sign language and likes cats.

    Yoshi 

Yoshi the Raptor

A wild velociraptor formerly owned by a gang of Mexican paleontologist banditos (don't ask); currently Gordito's mount and pet. Not too smart but makes up for it with teeth.
  • You No Take Candle: The future dinosaur invaders tried to uplift living dinosaurs on Earth. It worked mostly, but their grasp of language is limited.

    Dan 

Dan McNinja

Doc's dad. Defeated Frans Rayner to become head of the American guild of ninjas in the 80's. His mustache gives him instant respect and authority, which is why he cut a hole in his ninja mask so it would always be on display.
  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Particularly when around Benjamin Franklin II.
  • Badass Grandpa: Possibly. If the good doctor is supposed to be in his 30s then Dan is probably in his late 50s.
  • Badass Mustache: When it was revealed by his mask getting torn in a fight, he instantly became leader of the Ninja Guild.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Like his son. Believes that setting yourself on fire to avoid capture is so effective it overrides the obvious drawbacks. "Ninjas can't catch you if you are on fire."
  • Hollywood Hacking: Believes this is the only way to interact with computers.
  • Man on Fire: Can sustain extended/indeterminate periods while being fully aflame. That his ninja gi is fire resistant certainly helps.
  • McNinja: Also an Irish-American ninja.
  • Papa Wolf: His response to a pirate claiming to have kidnapped his son is... pretty violent.
  • Screw Yourself: Apparently a believer in this.

    Mitzi 

Mitzi McNinja

Doc's mom. Known for her two specialties: Pickled beets and precisely aimed demolitions.
  • Action Mom: A mother of two who is probably the best fighter in the series. She can defeat Doc with ease.
  • Lethal Chef: An odd example, in that she purposely makes her food poisonous in order to train others. Then again, it seems that her beets really are atrocious even when they haven't been poisoned - her family chokes them down anyway out of either fear or respect.
  • Mama Bear: She will do anything to protect her children, including killing them.

    Sean 

Sean "Dark Smoke Puncher" McNinja

Doc's younger brother. Torn between his parents' desire for him to be a good ninja, his own geeky tendencies, and his longing for popularity, resulting in a use of over-the-top "hip" slang. Wearing a ninja mask.
  • Badass Bookworm/Genius Bruiser: Being a ninja who can build robots has got to make you one of these.
  • Expy: Intentionally makes himself one of Doctor Strange in the "Futures Trading" timeline, down to the Badass Cape.
  • Gadgeteer Genius: For instance: he's capable of designing a missile from scratch and hacking into NASA's mission control to launch it given less than a day's notice. What's more, the family routinely expects that from him.
  • Legacy Character: In the Bad Future, he calls himself Dr. McNinja. Though he specifies that it isn't because of his brother, it's just part of his schtick.
  • Magic from Technology: The essence of his "technomagic".
  • McNinja: Like his brother, he's an Irish-American ninja.

    Old McNinja 

Old McNinja

A clone of the Doc. He's a farmer.
  • Alternate Self: Dr. McNinja wanted to learn it all in order to become an Omnidisciplinary Scientist like Batman. His teacher provided him with a project to create clones that learn and eventually reintegrate into the original. Thanks to arriving late and a time travellerís careless meddling, the one assigned to study farming didn't and ended up hiding himself away on a farm. Rayner abducts him as bait against his original, but together they manage to escape. Old ultimately joins King Radical, and turns on his original.
  • Conservation of Ninjutsu: Why Rayner cloned him.
  • Expendable Clone: Subverted; when the McNinja family hesitates to rescue him, Doc argues that Old is just as much their son as he is, and when Old joins Radical his right as a clone to make that decision is never brought up. Long story short, since he couldn't ever join back up with Doc, Old is officially his own person.
  • Face-Heel Turn: He joins King Radical and turns against his original. Not that he sees it that way. He thinks that Dr. McNinja is the bad guy for opposing Radical, since Radical is making the city a cooler place. Never mind how Radical has little regard for the consequences of his reckless actions or how many people they hurt.
  • Heel Realization: Old starts realizing that he's working for the bad guy after King Radical uses a giant robot to kill quite a lot of people. But after some thought (and after seeing his crush supports the plan), he decides to continue supporting it.
  • Ignored Epiphany: He briefly feels bad about helping King Radical when his boss enacts a plan that will kill millions of people, but is swayed back by Hortense.
  • Punny Name: Old McDonald had a farm, EE-I-EE-I-O!
  • She Is Not My Girlfriend: Dr. McNinja accuses Old of working for King Radical because he is now together with Hortense. Old says they're not, but both of them are clearly quite flustered by the accusation. He also reacts awkwardly when Hortense muses on the losers of their world being replaced with hunks, and repeatedly demonstrates that he has some romantic inclinations towards her.
    • Doc reveals that because Old was cloned from him before he broke up with Hortense, he never had a chance to get over her like regular Doc did.
  • Stealth Expert: Unlike the doctor, he spent most of his life hiding, meaning he's much better at what he does on that front.
  • Would Hurt a Child: He was prepared to kill Gordito to fulfill King Radical's plans. Hortense of all people had to be the one to hold him back.

Antagonists

    Donald 

Donald McBonald

The first villain to be introduced in the comic, guilty of defaming Dr. McNinja's name in a new burger promotion. Appears later in "There is a Raptor in my Office" and later in "AWOL MD"
  • Burger Fool: As might be expected from a Ronald McDonald Captain Ersatz, he owns the McBonald restaurant chain.
  • Captain Ersatz: Originally was Ronald McDonald, but his name was quietly changed to Donald McBonald years later.
  • Enemy Mime: Displays the ability to cause the things he mimes to exist in his second appearance.
  • Enemy Mine: Forced to work with the doctor to apprehend Jetpack Man in order to preserve profit.
  • Mecha-Mooks: Robots fight for him because everyone else has too much dignity to work at McBonald's.
  • Monster Clown: His appearance years later in color only cements this.
  • Retcon: Was originally Ronald McDonald, but Hastings changed it to pre-emptively avoid a lawsuit.
  • Your Mime Makes It Real: Donald is a mime with this ability. The hero defeats him with a pantomime of an invisible rocket launcher, while King Radical simply decks him while yelling "I don't believe in mimes!"

    Rayner 

Frans Rayner

Became the bitter enemy to the McNinja family after Dan humiliated him. Did a series of action films in which he carved a swath through ninjakind with the aid of copious amounts of The Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu and bloodshed.
  • Badass Beard: His neckbeard, while normally the total opposite of this trope, is able to block hits.
  • Big Bad: In the D.A.R.E. story arc and in the Army of One arc.
  • Charles Atlas Super Power: He is so well trained that he can rearrange his body's organs and vital areas.
  • Critical Research Failure: In-Universe. He plans to become president by killing the president. When Gordito tells him that's not how it works, he answers that by that point he'll be so popular nobody will care. What's more, at the end of the arc, Dr. McNinja points out he's an immigrant, not a natural-born American citizen, and thus not eligible for the presidency to start with.
  • Dangerously Genre Savvy: Invokes the Conservation of Ninjutsu against the McNinja Clones. More accurately, he made an army of McNinja clones specifically so that he could invoke it.
  • Eye Beam: It uses his own body's calorie reserve as an energy source though, so using it once renders him incapable of fighting.
  • Gratuitous English: "You are the baby school, and I am the Big League Chew."

    Mongo 

Mongo

Genetically constructed "Uber-ninja" who assists Frans Rayner. Kind of dumb. Wields chainsaw nunchucks in his first appearance.
  • Chainsaw Good: He uses chainsaw nunchucks in his first appearance.
  • Dumb Muscle: Capable of carrying two grown men in one hand, but has the mind of a toddler.
  • Psychopathic Man Child: Rayner calls him off by offering him Happy Meal toys.
  • Technical Pacifist: Refuses to kill in his second appearance, due to the death of a small child he became friends with. However, this does not stop him from delivering Dr. McNinja to Rayner's hands for him to kill McNinja himself.

    Knickerbockers 

Dr. Knickerbockers

Extremely short neurogenetipharmocologist in the employ of Frans Rayner. Developed the ninja drug responsible for the events of the DARE arc. Somewhat creepy.

    Dracula 

Dracula

The real thing. His immortality has enabled him to master every technology and amass the world's greatest minds and talents in his secret moon base, but he is getting bored.
  • Affably Evil: Sure, he's willing to kill people or damn their souls, but he's pretty friendly and polite about it. Also, he's perfectly willing to help people if they just ask for it, provided it doesn't interfere with his plans.
  • Art Shift: One strip he appears in is animated, appearing to be a normal comic until suddenly he descends from the ceiling. Since this is the only time such a thing has been done, it's unexpected and pretty effective.
  • Big Bad: Of Punch Dracula.
  • The Cavalry: In "Futures Trading".
  • Evil Plan: He wants to know what exists as an afterlife and does evil things to find out.
  • Genre Savvy: Fighting in a hall of mirrors is a great asset when one has no reflection.
    • Genre Blind: Somehow did not realize that if there's a fight in a hall of mirrors, if his opponent sees him, it's really him.
  • Monster Lord: He's not called DRACULA! KING OF ALL VAMPIRES! for nothing.
  • Painting the Medium: Whenever he's introduced, he is called DRACULA! KING OF ALL VAMPIRES!, with that emphasis.
  • Public Domain Character: Lampshaded in the Alt Text.
  • Who Wants to Live Forever?: It's not that he doesn't, he's just done so much awesome stuff that now he's bored and getting curious about what might lie on the other side of death.
  • Xanatos Gambit: A variation on the traditional trope in that he's curious about what happens after death, but not willing to die yet himself, so he plans to kill and blackmail (in that order) the only person he believes is capable of actually dying, finding out what happens, and coming BACK to tell him, the good Doctor. If it works, wonderful; goal achieved. If it doesn't, no big loss. There are others like him and he won't have to find him because they'll come to him.
  • You Never Asked: The reason he didn't intervene in the Bad Future where dinosaurs took over the Earth was because no one asked him to help.
    Dracula: They usually don't like the laser.

    Hortense 

Hortense

The doctor's ex-girlfriend from college. Now works as a mercenary of some sort.

    King Radical 

King Radical (formerly Sir Sicknasty of Spades, formerly Charles "Chuck" Goodrich)

The most radical man in the radical land. Conducts amoral dealings to improve Cumberland and make it more radical. Antagonizes Doc for fun.
  • Arch-Enemy: To Dr McNinja.
  • Anti-Villain: His primary motivation is, in fact, to better Cumberland and save his home universe by merging them together. However, his plan for doing so would eventually kill millions of people. He is at least, making sure that the biggest jerks on the planet are the first to die, with the more radical native residents being spared, but eventually, even innocent boring people are killed as well.
  • Ambiguously Evil: He's almost certainly up to something, and he's done some pretty questionable things like blowing up Doc's office for refusing to treat one of his henchmen and murdering a version of Chuck Goodrich, but he's also a largely benevolent force, using his mafia to genuinely improve the quality of life in Cumberland.
  • Awesome Moment of Crowning: In the Radical Lands, new kings are chosen by the lands themselves, and are marked with the tattoo "Most Rad." on their fingers, declaring them literally the most Radical person in the world.
  • Bad Boss: He outright admits he doesn't like anyone who works for him, punches someone who brings him bad news and his response to accidentally killing several of his scientists is saying "well farts." In fact, his army of "common men" were specifically hired because they are the worst, lamest people Radical can find, and thus the first who will be shoved out of existence when King Radical summons his people from the Radical Lands.
  • Berserk Button:
    • Thanks to Sparklelord, he hates rainbows.
    • Don't confuse him for the Burger King. On the other hand, this prompted a rather nifty costume upgrade, complete with full-length purple cloak and sash.
  • Big Bad: Of many arcs.
  • Big "WHAT?!": When he learns that his favourite minion, Dr. McLuchador, was actually his Arch-Enemy, Dr. McNinja in disguise.
  • Blue and Orange Morality: All he really cares about is what makes the world a more or less radical place to live.
  • Catch Phrase: "Radical."
  • Double Entendre: He's radical in all senses of the word.
  • Evil Counterpart: He's a version of Chuck Goodrich from an alternate universe (the Radical Lands), and unlike the standard Chucks of the Doctor's universe, he has no problem whatsoever with killing people himself.
  • Fallen Hero: Not that he seems all that villainous, but he's certainly the major antagonist, and he pays little regard for the consequences of his actions or who they hurt. Back in Radical Land he was their king and, presumably by virtue of Authority Equals Ass Kicking, their greatest hero. But being trapped in a far lamer dimension has made him depressed, and it has even made him forget things about the Radical Lands, prompting him to "fix" his current world by any means necessary. Taken a step further in the All The King's Dirtbikes and All The King's Men arc, where it's revealed that he's actually an alternate universe version of Chuck Goodrich.
  • Fantastic Racism: Back when he was still Sir Sicknasty, Radical was somewhat racist against horses, believing them unfit for the Radical Throne. Needless to say, this didn't exactly ease Sparklelord's anger over not being picked as king.
  • Fish out of Water: When he first enters Dr. McNinja's world, it takes him a bit of time to figure out that the animals and trees of this realm cannot talk. He is also shocked at how plain the river tastes, since the rivers back home are made from the finest Mountain Dew. But most of all, he misses the cool people of his homeland. Compared to the Radical Lands, Dr. McNinja's world feels lifeless.
  • Ignored Epiphany: King Radical's plans revolve around replacing boring people of Dr. McNinja's world with the awesome people of his home, starting off with his own minions, who are the worst people Radical can find, and thus the first who will die as a result of his plans. When King Radical's top minion, Herschel, is killed, King Radical actually starts showing signs of remorse. But one page later, he sees his old friend, Steven the lycanthropic centaur and excitedly remarks how great this is because Steven is much more awesome than Herschel ever was.
  • Kick the Dog:
    • When his Big Entrance kills several innocent scientists in his employ (much to McNinja's horror), the most sympathy he can muster is an annoyed "Farts!".
    • His treatment of the Friend Brothers, whom he taught to make radical pizza, but turned out to not be radical enough for his tastes. So he ordered 100 incredibly expensive pizzas, then had "McLuchador" hijack them so he didn't have to pay, instantly bankrupting them (and leaving job applications for Pizza Hut and Papa Johns just to rub salt in the wound). He claims they'll be fine if they rob a bank or something.
    • In an effort to generate the radical energies needed to summon his people from the Radical Lands, he uses a giant robot made from the city to attack the US army, killing huge numbers of people. Additionally, the process of summoning them replaces the boring people of Dr. McNinja's world, effectively killing them. While the horrible people who work for King Radical are the first to be erased, eventually, boring innocents die as well.
  • Knuckle Tattoos: His reads "MOST RAD.", they were part of his coronation.
  • Legacy Character: He's not the first King Radical. He was promoted when the previous King Radical died.
  • Man of the City: He is devoted to making Cumberland more... well, radical. Because of his influence, the city has, among other things, skydiving news anchors, a doctor who battled an Eldritch Abomination to cure someone's acne, and a Captain Ersatz of The Incredible Hulk advertising for a grocery store. He's not afraid to use illegal means for livening up Cumberland, and Doc is absolutely sure he's plotting something more sinister, but everyone else supports his efforts.
  • Omnidisciplinary Scientist: He isn't really a scientist at heart, but he occasionally dabbles in it to support his schemes, and his knowledge from the Radical Lands allows him to create all sorts of fantastic machinery.
  • Quip to Black: Well, the closest you can get in comics medium, when he grins and comments "...Radical".
  • Secret Handshake: Has one with Ron Wizard, his Court Magician. It is "A complicated ritual of hand slaps, finger locks and backflips that takes approximately twenty minutes."
  • Secret Test: Gives one to the owners of a restaurant he helped improve to see if they were radical enough for him. They fail and end up ruined as per the test's design.
  • Super Strength: He's strong enough to punch someone through a stone wall.
  • Super Window Jump: As is to be expected, King Radical's preferred method of entering any given room.
  • Totally Radical: In name only - he's perfectly articulate otherwise.
  • Troll: Best shown when he mockingly reminds Doc about how his defeat of Sparklelord is a Pyrrhic Victory.
  • The Unfettered: All he cares about is making the world a more radical place. And he doesn't care about how many lives he has to ruin or destroy in order to do it. When the US army warns him not to use his robot to attack anything, just as he was trying to figure out what to do with it to summon more of his people, he gives a Psychotic Smirk and attacks them.
  • Utopia Justifies the Means: Everything he's done was to build up enough Radical Energy to allow the summoning of the cool people from the Radical Lands. He intends to do this again, and again, saving them from their dying homeland, and bringing them to Earth to make it a better place. The bit that needs justifying? Every Radical Man he summons will take the place of a person on Earth. Initially, it will merely take out the world's biggest jerks, but eventually, anything that isn't radical enough will be shunted out of existence. Not only that, but King Radical's plan to build up enough Radical Energy involves killing huge numbers of people with a giant ghost powered robot.
  • Villain with Good Publicity: His evilness is questionable, as seen above, but he is at the very least a mob boss. Nonetheless, everyone in town seems to love him.
  • Wham Shot: The last panel of Page 75 of "All the King's Dirtbikes and All the King's Men": King Radical is actually a version of Chuck Goodrich from another universe.
  • Wig, Dress, Accent: The long gray hair, the mustache, the beard, the sunglasses, and the unbelievably radical outfit do an absolutely amazing job of hiding the fact that he has the exact same face as Chuck Goodrich.
  • Worthy Opponent: After Dr. McNinja's apparent death Radical concludes that McNinja was the only radical thing in Cumberland - at least until he remembers all the others.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Due to having two Chucks attempt to stop him, and murdering one and paradoxing the other out of existence, King Radical has worked all this time under the assumption that he succeeds in his plans so everything will be justified and work out. He doesn't.
  • You Already Changed The Past: Thinks this is in effect, due to Alpha-Chuck attempting a Heroic Sacrifice to stop him and causing a divergent timeline Chuck to paradox out of existence. However, ends up being Wrong Genre Savvy.
  • You Monster!: Played for Laughs when King Radical summons his court wizard from the awesome, if dying Radical Lands into a healthy world with bad pizza.

    Ron Wizard 

Ron Wizard (Sir Cowabunga of Clubs)

Ron is King Radical's Court Magician back in Radical Land, and the second most radical man of them all (after King Radical of course).
  • Artificial Limbs: A robot arm.
  • Badass Bandolier: Two of them, seemingly for no other reason than to be badass. Which they are.
  • Badass Cape: Reminiscent of Doctor Strange's first (blue) Cloak of Levitation, minus the Amulet of Agamotto.
  • Badass Moustache: Not comparable to Dan's but still pretty badass.
  • The Dragon: He is King Radical's court wizard and the second most radical man from the Radical Lands.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: He appeared in a flashback in the "Doc Gets Rad" arc.
  • Ignored Epiphany: He asserts that racism is lame and that the Radical Lands have long developed past it. And yet, during Sir Sicknasty's coronation as King Radical, he doesn't bother chastising Sir Sicknasty for demeaning horses as unsuitable for the Radical Throne. Though at this point it's not clear if this is his belief or if the Radical Lands don't consider horses radical enough on principal.
  • Laser-Guided Amnesia: Inflicts this on King Radical's army of common men to make them forget King Radical's Motive Rant about how he is going to shove them out of existence, thereby avoiding a Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal.
  • Secret Handshake: Has one with King Radical. "A complicated ritual of hand slaps, finger locks and backflips that takes approximately twenty minutes."
  • Stating the Simple Solution: A variant. When King Radical says that his plan to build up enough Radical energy to bring his people from the Radical Lands isn't working, even making the city a giant robot has only brought Ron over, Ron suggests that KR should make the robot do something.

    Sparklelord 

Sparklelord (formerly Sparkledancer, Sir Hellacious of Hearts)

Evil unicorn who led a revolution of the radical land in an attempt to depose King Radical.
  • Anti-Villain: He's shaping up to be one, having attempted to usurp the Radical Throne because the King Radical of the time (our King Radical's predecessor) was a douchebag.
  • Arch-Enemy: To King Radical.
  • Cursed with Awesome: Literally. The empire of the Radical Lands invaded his forest and twisted him with their magic to fit their ideals of what's "cool". He wasn't entirely happy with the results.
  • The Corrupter: He gradually drives his rider to madness to satiate his appetite for destruction.
  • The Dreaded: He is one of the few entities King Radical truly fears.
  • Fallen Hero: Used to be a knight of the Radical court alongside Sir Sicknasty of Spades, now King Radical.
  • Klingon Promotion: Killed the previous King Radical in hopes of becoming the next King. When Sir Sicknasty was chosen, Sparkledancer promised he'd kill him too.
  • Liquid Assets: He was draining power from the Radical Lands in a bid to become a Physical God.
  • Omnicidal Maniac: He exists only to destroy and inflicted a corruption that has been gradually destroying his own world. According to King Radical, given the chance, he will destroy Dr. McNinja's world too.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: His natural form in our world is a badass motorcycle that just happens to have a rainbow design on it. Also, he's a unicorn in whose name is Sparkledancer.
  • The Resenter: Part of the reason he turned evil. He was one of the four knights of the Radical Lands, and felt that he deserved to become king. When the Radical Lands chose Sir Sicknasty of Spades instead, he tried to destroy everything out of spite.
  • Stable Time Loop: The doctor throws him into a time portal that leads back to where he was discovered. The unicorn subsequently gets caught in a time loop, going through the exact same events over and over again, presumably for the rest of eternity.
  • That Man Is Dead: To his previous name, Sparkledancer.
  • Unicorn: His true form.
  • You Cannot Grasp the True Form: Dr. McNinja's world couldn't handle the sheer majesty of his true form, and thus transformed him into the closest thing.

Other

    Martin 

Martin Birding

Old college friend of Dr. McNinja who was once a teammate of his on a crime-fighting superhero team. Now he owns a chain of grocery stores.

    Chuck 

Charles "Chuck" Goodrich (the Mayor)

Mayor of Cumberland, elected for his plans to stop zombies destroying the world.
  • Chosen One: Chuck Goodrich is from the future. He came back in time to avert disaster, and succeeded. Except averting the current disaster always leads to a new future disaster in the new timeline, and a new future Chuck Goodrich comes back to avert the new disaster. Chuck-Prime is growing rather tired of it. This even happens when its a Chuck in an alternate reality instead of just an alternate timeline.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Chuck designed the world's first zombie outbreak defense system well before the world's first zombie outbreak. He installed the system after traveling back in time from a future overrun by zombies.
  • Heroic Sacrifice:
    • One Chuck sacrifices himself to the Horrorsaurus in order to get the NASAGhast to attack it.
    • Chuck Prime hurls himself into the time portal to close it forever, knowing as he does that he will almost certainly die at King Radical's hands at the other end.
  • Temporal Paradox: Chuck ends up creating these whenever he sets out to fix a problem.
  • You Can't Fight Fate: Chuck will always travel back in time after discovering a time portal. This applies even when its a Chuck from an alternate universe like the Radical Lands.

    Ben 

Ben Franklin II

A clone of Benjamin Franklin and Dr. McNinja's college professor. Helping him is the focus of the Punch Dracula arc.

    Dr. McLuchador 

Dr. McLuchador

A mentally unstable doctor wearing a luchador mask. His primary means of healing his patients involves extreme methods, i.e. shoving the cure up their nose and then body-slamming them. Ran out of Cumberland by Dr. McNinja.

    Dame Dudeical 

Dame Dudeical of Diamonds

Was one of Radical Land's four knights, along with Ron Wizard, Sir Sicknasty, and Sir Hellacious.
  • Action Girl: In a place like Radical Land, you probably don't get a title like that without being this.
  • Badass Cape: A green one.
  • No Name Given: Unlike the other knights, she doesn't have a name that we know of, just the title.

    President Maria Funkhouser 

President Maria Funkhouser

The current president of the United States.
  • Authority Equals Asskicking: Given the sort of world she lives in, it is hardly surprising an authority figure as important as her can fight.
  • Awesome McCoolname: President Funkhouser.
  • Bad Ass: Bursting in through the windows of the Oval Office while armed with automatic weapons and outnumbering her 3 to 1? You still won't be able to take her down.
  • Boring, but Practical: Ron Wizard puts her in the pilot seat of a Giant Mecha he created out of her tanks in order to create a radical foe to generate radical energies. After said energies start destabilizing, she starts wondering if maybe it would be better for an actual pilot to drive the mech instead of the president.
  • Destructive Saviour: When King Radical attacks with a Giant Mecha made from the city of Cumberland, and she ends up in the cockpit of another mecha, she responds by attacking King Radical, endangering the people stuck inside Radical's mecha.
  • Eyepatch of Power: She has one covering her left eye.
  • Our Presidents Are Different: She is a woman president, unlike any real life U.S. president as of when her character is introduced, so she's President Minority. She's also got President Action going on, between the Eyepatch of Power and the epaulets and the fact that she piloted a Giant Mecha dinosaur made out of military vehicles against Cumberland, which has been transformed into a Giant Mecha. She originally wanted to pilot a giant mechanical George Washington, but it was never finished thanks to Obstructive Bureaucrats.


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