Our hero. He has the skills of a doctor and the soul of a healer, but he won't hesitate to get violent with anyone who deserves it. Made of a subtle sprinkling of Insanity over a base of Awesome.
A Man Is Not a Virgin: Potentially subverted. An earlier comic where Mcninja was allowed to ride a unicorn brought up the mythology that only virgins were allowed to touch the creatures, but whether or not this was in effect was left intentionally vague, as he was too uncomfortable with the subject to talk about it. This combined with the recent revelation that the doctor has only ever dated one person...well, it's definitely a possibility.
Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Doctor McNinja is a vigilante, has no qualms about killing bad guys, and his office suffers gunfire and explosions frequently. But he's also a dedicated doctor, and can cure almost any normal or supernatural disease.
Combat Medic: Though, more often than not, Judy has to patch him up. At least once the dichotomy between healing and killing is brought up.
Complexity Addiction: His occasional scheme can get needlessly complicated and even downright ridiculous. This bites him when he tries to stop the dinosaur scout from transmitting Earth's coordinates to his people.
Necessarily Evil: While infiltrating Radical's gang as Dr. McLuchador, he does not enjoy the heist he is employed to go along with; Namely, ruining the owners of a pizza restaurant because they aren't radical enough for King Radical. He made up for it at the end after finally beating Radical and hiring the two for a city-wide pizza party.
No Name Given: We know he has one, but he never uses it. A wizard is involved in some way, but beyond that nothing is known.
One of the few justified examples in that he was cloned multiple times in order to attain multiple doctorates. Then, all clones but one were re-merged, resulting in the doc we all know and love.
McNinja: I'm a doctor. I know science.
He's also a talented actor, impersonating McLuchador well enough to have fooled everyone. The narrow areas Doc doesn't have expertise in are Computers and Agronomy / Botany, as Old McNinja never merged with him again.
Science Hero: While his usual method of solving problems is to punch or stab them, he makes use of his "doctorin'" skills to come up with cures for Paul Bunyan's Disease, ghost possession, and Franz Rayner's ninja drug.
Where Did We Go Wrong?: On the receiving end of this from his parents. His mother became a ninja through training, and thus did not learn how to raise a ninja child. His father came from a long line of ninjas and was never taught how for traditional reasons. They tried to inspire him using Batman. But instead of becoming a proper, ruthless, ninja mercenary, their son used his ninja skills for vigilantism and chose medicine as his main career.
"These are no coward's weapons."
The effing badass kid: Doc's ward and protege. His father was a circus performer with a incredible finishing routine — until it went wrong.
Gordito enters school completely hated by all the other students. At one point, a girl slams him with her locker, apparently in annoyance that he's in her way since their lockers are right next to each other. He responds by giving her a black eye.
When Hortense tries to stop Dr. McNinja from ending King Radical's villainous scheme, Gordito punches her in the face. And then does it again, just because he could. And then again.
Judy the Gorilla
"Ook ugh."translation "The power of ciprofloxacin hydrochloride compells you."
Doc's receptionist and occasional muscle. She works for the doctor because his life is very exciting and also because she is a professional.
Badass: With a rocket launcher, she is actually more dangerous than Mongo.
Badass Driver: Doc trusts her to jump an explosion with him hanging from the back of the vehicle. Earlier, when she went to fetch a new car and discovered herself in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, the logical course of action was to get to the car so she could drive through the middle of the horde, arriving back at the office with only four zombies clinging to the roof.
A story showing how they met shows that she can sign and drive at the same time.
Berserk Button: Her hot dogs were clearly marked, but unfortunately, Yoshi can't read...
Consummate Professional: According to the Doc. Goes back to work bulldozing the remains of their bombed office with little more than a grunt of acknowledgement after getting choked out by Agent Bearclaw. In response to the chapter title asking "Why a gorilla?"
Doc: Because she's a professional, and she behaves like one!
You No Take Candle: The future dinosaur invaders tried to uplift living dinosaurs on Earth. It worked mostly, but their grasp of language is limited.
"We are on Eastern Pain Time, and it is Dan O'Clock."
Doc's dad. Defeated Frans Rayner to become head of the American guild of ninjas in the 80's. His mustache gives him instant respect and authority, which is why he cut a hole in his ninja mask so it would always be on display.
Badass Grandpa: Possibly. If the good doctor is supposed to be in his 30s then Dan is probably in his late 50s.
Badass Mustache: When it was revealed by his mask getting torn in a fight, he instantly became leader of the Ninja Guild.
Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Like his son. Believes that setting yourself on fire to avoid capture is so effective it overrides the obvious drawbacks. "Ninjas can't catch you if you are on fire."
Hollywood Hacking: Believes this is the only way to interact with computers. He has no idea how to do this, unlike Sean, so he throws old routers and bashes keyboards into them. It predictably does not work.
Dan:HACK IT. Sean: But I— Dan:HACK THAT ROBOT. Alt Text: USE...THE NET.
Man on Fire: Can sustain extended/indeterminate periods while being fully aflame. That his ninja gi is fire resistant certainly helps.
Lethal Chef: An odd example, in that she purposely makes her food poisonous in order to train others. Then again, it seems that her beets really are atrocious even when they haven't been poisoned - her family chokes them down anyway out of either fear or respect.
Mama Bear: She will do anything to protect her children, including killing them.
Team Mom: To Doc (obviously) and Gordito. She seems to see the latter as part of her family, or at least very close.
Sean "Dark Smoke Puncher" McNinja
Doc's younger brother. Torn between his parents' desire for him to be a good ninja, his own geeky tendencies, and his longing for popularity, resulting in a use of over-the-top "hip" slang. Wearing a ninja mask.
Gadgeteer Genius: For instance: he's capable of designing a missile from scratch and hacking into NASA's mission control to launch it given less than a day's notice. What's more, the family routinely expects that from him.
Legacy Character: In the Bad Future, he calls himself Dr. McNinja. Though he specifies that it isn't because of his brother, it's just part of his schtick.
Alternate Self: Dr. McNinja wanted to learn it all in order to become an Omnidisciplinary Scientist like Batman. His teacher provided him with a project to create clones that learn and eventually reintegrate into the original. Thanks to arriving late and a time travellerís careless meddling, the one assigned to study farming didn't and ended up hiding himself away on a farm. Rayner abducts him as bait against his original, but together they manage to escape. Old ultimately joins King Radical, and turns on his original.
Expendable Clone: Subverted; when the McNinja family hesitates to rescue him, Doc argues that Old is just as much their son as he is, and when Old joins Radical his right as a clone to make that decision is never brought up. Long story short, since he couldn't ever join back up with Doc, Old is officially his own person.
Face-Heel Turn: He joins King Radical and turns against his original. Not that he sees it that way. He thinks that Dr. McNinja is the bad guy for opposing Radical, since Radical is making the city a cooler place. Never mind how Radical has little regard for the consequences of his reckless actions or how many people they hurt.
Heel Realization: Old starts realizing that he's working for the bad guy after King Radical uses a giant robot to kill quite a lot of people. But after some thought (and after seeing his crush supports the plan), he decides to continue supporting it.
Ignored Epiphany: He briefly feels bad about helping King Radical when his boss enacts a plan that will kill millions of people, but is swayed back by Hortense.
She Is Not My Girlfriend: Dr. McNinja accuses Old of working for King Radical because he is now together with Hortense. Old says they're not, but both of them are clearly quite flustered by the accusation. He also reacts awkwardly when Hortense muses on the losers of their world being replaced with hunks, and repeatedly demonstrates that he has some romantic inclinations towards her.
Doc reveals that because Old was cloned from him before he broke up with Hortense, he never had a chance to get over her like regular Doc did.
Stealth Expert: Unlike the doctor, he spent most of his life hiding, meaning he's much better at what he does on that front.
Would Hurt a Child: He was prepared to killGordito to fulfill King Radical's plans. Hortense of all people had to be the one to hold him back.
The first villain to be introduced in the comic, guilty of defaming Dr. McNinja's name in a new burger promotion. Appears later in "There is a Raptor in my Office" and later in "AWOL MD"
Captain Ersatz: Originally was Ronald McDonald, but his name was quietly changed to Donald McBonald years later.
Enemy Mime: Displays the ability to cause the things he mimes to exist in his second appearance.
Enemy Mine: Forced to work with the doctor to apprehend Jetpack Man in order to preserve profit.
Mecha-Mooks: Robots fight for him because everyone else has too much dignity to work at McBonald's.
Monster Clown: His appearance years later in color only cements this.
Retcon: Was originally Ronald McDonald, but Hastings changed it to pre-emptively avoid a lawsuit.
Your Mime Makes It Real: Donald is a mime with this ability. The hero defeats him with a pantomime of an invisible rocket launcher, while King Radical simply decks him while yelling "I don't believe in mimes!"
Click here to see him with the laser eye.
Became the bitter enemy to the McNinja family after Dan humiliated him. Did a series of action films in which he carved a swath through ninjakind with the aid of copious amounts of The Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu and bloodshed.
The Ahnold: Hastings decided that putting on his accent phonetically in the text looked too ridiculous, asking the reader in the Alt Text to imagine the accent.
Critical Research Failure: In-Universe. He plans to become president by killing the president. When Gordito tells him that's not how it works, he answers that by that point he'll be so popular nobody will care. What's more, at the end of the arc, Dr. McNinja points out he's an immigrant, not a natural-born American citizen, and thus not eligible for the presidency to start with.
Technical Pacifist: Refuses to kill in his second appearance, due to the death of a small child he became friends with. However, this does not stop him from delivering Dr. McNinja to Rayner's hands for him to kill McNinja himself.
Extremely short neurogenetipharmocologist in the employ of Frans Rayner. Developed the ninja drug responsible for the events of the DARE arc. Somewhat creepy.
The real thing. His immortality has enabled him to master every technology and amass the world's greatest minds and talents in his secret moon base, but he is getting bored.
Affably Evil: Sure, he's willing to kill people or damn their souls, but he's pretty friendly and polite about it. Also, he's perfectly willing to help people if they just ask for it, provided it doesn't interfere with his plans.
Art Shift: One strip he appears in is animated, appearing to be a normal comic until suddenly he descends from the ceiling. Since this is the only time such a thing has been done, it's unexpected and pretty effective.
Who Wants to Live Forever?: It's not that he doesn't, he's just done so much awesome stuff that now he's bored and getting curious about what might lie on the other side of death.
Xanatos Gambit: A variation on the traditional trope in that he's curious about what happens after death, but not willing to die yet himself, so he plans to kill and blackmail (in that order) the only person he believes is capable of actually dying, finding out what happens, and coming BACK to tell him, the good Doctor. If it works, wonderful; goal achieved. If it doesn't, no big loss. There are others like him and he won't have to find him because they'll come to him.
You Never Asked: The reason he didn't intervene in the Bad Future where dinosaurs took over the Earth was because no one asked him to help.
Dracula: They usually don't like the laser.
The doctor's ex-girlfriend from college. Now works as a mercenary of some sort.
Dark Action Girl: She's a tough fighter, and will readily kill anyone who might get in her way.
Anti-Villain: His primary motivation is, in fact, to better Cumberland and save his home universe by merging them together. However, his plan for doing so would eventually kill millions of people. He is at least, making sure that the biggest jerks on the planet are the first to die, with the more radical native residents being spared, but eventually, even innocent boring people are killed as well.
Ambiguously Evil: He's almost certainly up to something, and he's done some pretty questionable things like blowing up Doc's office for refusing to treat one of his henchmen and murdering a version of Chuck Goodrich, but he's also a largely benevolent force, using his mafia to genuinely improve the quality of life in Cumberland.
Awesome Moment of Crowning: In the Radical Lands, new kings are chosen by the lands themselves, and are marked with the tattoo "Most Rad." on their fingers, declaring them literally the most Radical person in the world.
Bad Boss: He outright admits he doesn't like anyone who works for him, punches someone who brings him bad news and his response to accidentally killing several of his scientists is saying "well farts." In fact, his army of "common men" were specifically hired because they are the worst, lamest people Radical can find, and thus the first who will be shoved out of existence when King Radical summons his people from the Radical Lands.
Evil Counterpart: He's a version of Chuck Goodrich from an alternate universe (the Radical Lands), and unlike the standard Chucks of the Doctor's universe, he has no problem whatsoever with killing people himself.
Fallen Hero: Not that he seems all that villainous, but he's certainly the major antagonist, and he pays little regard for the consequences of his actions or who they hurt. Back in Radical Land he was their king and, by virtue of Asskicking Equals Authority, their greatest hero. But being trapped in a far lamer dimension has made him depressed, and it has even made him forget things about the Radical Lands, prompting him to "fix" his current world by any means necessary. Taken a step further in the All The King's Dirtbikes and All The King's Men arc, where it's revealed that he's actually an alternate universe version of Chuck Goodrich.
Fantastic Racism: Back when he was still Sir Sicknasty, Radical was somewhat racist against horses, believing them unfit for the Radical Throne. Needless to say, this didn't exactly ease Sparklelord's anger over not being picked as king.
Fish out of Water: When he first enters Dr. McNinja's world, it takes him a bit of time to figure out that the animals and trees of this realm cannot talk. He is also shocked at how plain the river tastes, since the rivers back home are made from the finest Mountain Dew. But most of all, he misses the cool people of his homeland. Compared to the Radical Lands, Dr. McNinja's world feels lifeless.
Ignored Epiphany: King Radical's plans revolve around replacing boring people of Dr. McNinja's world with the awesome people of his home, starting off with his own minions, who are the worst people Radical can find, and thus the first who will die as a result of his plans. When King Radical's top minion, Herschel, is killed, King Radical actually starts showing signs of remorse. But one page later, he sees his old friend, Steven the lycanthropic centaur and excitedly remarks how great this is because Steven is much more awesome than Herschel ever was.
When his Big Entrance kills several innocent scientists in his employ (much to McNinja's horror), the most sympathy he can muster is an annoyed "Farts!".
His treatment of the Friend Brothers, whom he taught to make radical pizza, but turned out to not be radical enough for his tastes. So he ordered 100 incredibly expensive pizzas, then had "McLuchador" hijack them so he didn't have to pay, instantly bankrupting them (and leaving job applications for Pizza Hut and Papa Johns just to rub salt in the wound). He claims they'll be fine if they rob a bank or something.
In an effort to generate the radical energies needed to summon his people from the Radical Lands, he uses a giant robot made from the city to attack the US army, killing huge numbers of people. Additionally, the process of summoning them replaces the boring people of Dr. McNinja's world, effectively killing them. While the horrible people who work for King Radical are the first to be erased, eventually, boring innocents die as well.
Legacy Character: He's not the first King Radical. He was promoted when the previous King Radical died.
Man of the City: He is devoted to making Cumberland more... well, radical. Because of his influence, the city has, among other things, skydiving news anchors, a doctor who battled an Eldritch Abomination to cure someone's acne, and a Captain Ersatz of The Incredible Hulk advertising for a grocery store. He's not afraid to use illegal means for livening up Cumberland, and Doc is absolutely sure he's plotting something more sinister, but everyone else supports his efforts.
Omnidisciplinary Scientist: He isn't really a scientist at heart, but he occasionally dabbles in it to support his schemes, and his knowledge from the Radical Lands allows him to create all sorts of fantastic machinery.
Quip to Black: Well, the closest you can get in comics medium, when he grins and comments "...Radical".
Secret Handshake: Has one with Ron Wizard, his Court Magician. It is "A complicated ritual of hand slaps, finger locks and backflips that takes approximately twenty minutes."
Secret Test: Gives one to the owners of a restaurant he helped improve to see if they were radical enough for him. They fail and end up ruined as per the test's design.
Super Strength: He's strong enough to punch someone through a stone wall.
Troll: Best shown when he mockingly reminds Doc about how his defeat of Sparklelord is a Pyrrhic Victory.
The Unfettered: All he cares about is making the world a more radical place. And he doesn't care about how many lives he has to ruin or destroy in order to do it. When the US army warns him not to use his robot to attack anything, just as he was trying to figure out what to do with it to summon more of his people, he gives a Psychotic Smirk and attacks them.
Utopia Justifies the Means: Everything he's done was to build up enough Radical Energy to allow the summoning of the cool people from the Radical Lands. He intends to do this again, and again, saving them from their dying homeland, and bringing them to Earth to make it a better place. The bit that needs justifying? Every Radical Man he summons will take the place of a person on Earth. Initially, it will merely take out the world's biggest jerks, but eventually, anything that isn't radical enough will be shunted out of existence. Not only that, but King Radical's plan to build up enough Radical Energy involves killing huge numbers of people with a giant ghost powered robot.
Villain with Good Publicity: His evilness is questionable, as seen above, but he is at the very least a mob boss. Nonetheless, everyone in town seems to love him.
Wham Shot: The last panel of Page 75 of "All the King's Dirtbikes and All the King's Men": King Radical is actually a version of Chuck Goodrich from another universe.
Wig, Dress, Accent: The long gray hair, the mustache, the beard, the sunglasses, and the unbelievably radical outfit do an absolutely amazing job of hiding the fact that he has the exact same face as Chuck Goodrich.
Worthy Opponent: After Dr. McNinja's apparent death Radical concludes that McNinja was the only radical thing in Cumberland - at least until he remembers all the others.
Wrong Genre Savvy: Due to having two Chucks attempt to stop him, and murdering one and paradoxing the other out of existence, King Radical has worked all this time under the assumption that he succeeds in his plans so everything will be justified and work out. He doesn't.
Ignored Epiphany: He asserts that racism is lame and that the Radical Lands have long developed past it. And yet, during Sir Sicknasty's coronation as King Radical, he doesn't bother chastising Sir Sicknasty for demeaning horses as unsuitable for the Radical Throne. Though at this point it's not clear if this is his belief or if the Radical Lands don't consider horses radical enough on principal.
Secret Handshake: Has one with King Radical. "A complicated ritual of hand slaps, finger locks and backflips that takes approximately twenty minutes."
Stating the Simple Solution: A variant. When King Radical says that his plan to build up enough Radical energy to bring his people from the Radical Lands isn't working, even making the city a giant robot has only brought Ron over, Ron suggests that KR should make the robot do something.
Sparklelord (formerly Sparkledancer, Sir Hellacious of Hearts)
Evil unicorn who led a revolution of the radical land in an attempt to depose King Radical.
Anti-Villain: He's shaping up to be one, having attempted to usurp the Radical Throne because the King Radical of the time (our King Radical's predecessor) was a douchebag.
Omnicidal Maniac: He exists only to destroy and inflicted a corruption that has been gradually destroying his own world. According to King Radical, given the chance, he will destroy Dr. McNinja's world too.
Real Men Wear Pink: His natural form in our world is a badass motorcycle that just happens to have a rainbow design on it. Also, he's a unicorn in whose name is Sparkledancer.
The Resenter: Part of the reason he turned evil. He was one of the four knights of the Radical Lands, and felt that he deserved to become king. When the Radical Lands chose Sir Sicknasty of Spades instead, he tried to destroy everything out of spite.
Stable Time Loop: The doctor throws him into a time portal that leads back to where he was discovered. The unicorn subsequently gets caught in a time loop, going through the exact same events over and over again, presumably for the rest of eternity.
Freudian Excuse: He didn't actually intend to betray the team. His powers make him dumb, and people frequently take advantage of him when they find out, so he decided that being thought of as ruthless instead of gullible was the lesser of two evils.
Mayor of Cumberland, elected for his plans to stop zombies destroying the world.
Charles "Chuck" Goodrich: Chrononaut
Big Damn Heroes: One alternate future Chuck leaps into the main timeline out of nowhere, narrowly stopping a mind controlled Dr McNinja from assassinating President Funkhouser.
Chosen One: Chuck Goodrich is from the future. He came back in time to avert disaster, and succeeded. Except averting the current disaster always leads to a new future disaster in the new timeline, and a new future Chuck Goodrich comes back to avert the new disaster. Chuck-Prime is growing rather tired of it. This even happens when its a Chuck in an alternate reality instead of just an alternate timeline.
Crazy-Prepared: Chuck designed the world's first zombie outbreak defense system well before the world's first zombie outbreak. He installed the system after traveling back in time from a future overrun by zombies.
A mentally unstable doctor wearing a luchador mask. His primary means of healing his patients involves extreme methods, i.e. shoving the cure up their nose and then body-slamming them. Ran out of Cumberland by Dr. McNinja.
Bunny-Ears Lawyer: His methods of healing are over-the-top and insane, but they work.
Boring but Practical: Ron Wizard puts her in the pilot seat of a Giant Mecha he created out of her tanks in order to create a radical foe to generate radical energies. After said energies start destabilizing, she starts wondering if maybe it would be better for an actual pilot to drive the mech instead of the president.
Destructive Saviour: When King Radical attacks with a Giant Mecha made from the city of Cumberland, and she ends up in the cockpit of another mecha, she responds by attacking King Radical, endangering the people stuck inside Radical's mecha.
Our Presidents Are Different: She is a woman president, unlike any real life U.S. president as of when her character is introduced, so she's President Minority. Bonus points for being Ambiguously Brown. She's also got President Action going on, between the Eyepatch of Power and the epaulets and the fact that she piloted a Giant Mecha dinosaur made out of military vehicles against Cumberland, which has been transformed into a Giant Mecha. She originally wanted to pilot a giant mechanical George Washington, but it was never finished thanks to Obstructive Bureaucrats.