Driver

• Bifauxnen: Bliss says "he's" hot.
• Blinding Bangs
• Deep South: If the accent is anything to go off of.
• Dude Looks Like a Lady: Inverted. Wiglaf thinks she's a guy when they first meet. So does Bliss
• Funetik Aksent
• Meaningful Name
• Subordinate Excuse

Lancelot

• Bungling Inventor
• Dogged Nice Guy
• Green Thumb
• Hopeless Suitor: For Driver.
• Mad Scientist: He's in denial about it, though.
• Redhead In Green
• The Rival: To Mordred.

Bliss

• Amulet of Dependency
• Anti-Magic
• Beware the Nice Ones: Blew up an entire town.
• The Chick
• Cute Ghost Girl
• The Ditz
• Motor Mouth
• Nigh Invulnerability: Apparently, according to Word Of God.
• Our Ghosts Are Different
• Pink Means Feminine
• Rose-Haired Girl
• Weapon Of Mass Destruction: See above.

Camlann

• Face Heel Turn: For whatever faces and heels even mean in this comic.
• Humanity Ensues
• Motor Mouth
• Named Weapon
• Pet the Dog: Save hundreds of people while when Bliss explodes.
• Talking Appliance Sidekick
• Talking Weapon
• Snarky Non-Human Sidekick
• Walls of Text

Arthur Jr.

• Dragon Rider
• Even Evil Has Standards: Why Sedrick betrayed him.
• Half-Identical Twins: With Janus
• Overlord Jr.

Boudica

• White Sheep: The only Garrott who is in no way a villain.

Janus

• A Match Made In Stockholm
• Half-Identical Twins: With Arthur.

Mr. Garrott (Arthur Sr.)

• Affably Evil
• Badass Normal
• Hands Off Parenting: The kids have been hoist by their own petard and betrayed by an underling who's taken over? Meh, I'm not going to do anything about it.
• Mage Killer: Can backhand a level 2 water spell using nothing but talent.
• Man of Wealth and Taste
• Morality Pet: Fond of children and horses.
• Offstage Villainy: Any villainy he commits is just offscreen.
• Papa Wolf: Mess with his children if you must, but never try to kill them or put them through eternal torment as an artifact. Its been stated if anything ever happened to his children, he would burn down Europe.
• Pure Is Not Good
• Retired Monster

Geoffry Buckley

• A Match Made In Stockholm
• Chick Magnet: Apparently, if Janus ever drops dead more than half the women in the Garrotts' employ would start fighting for him.
• Happily Married: That, or Stockholm Syndrome.
• Non-Action Guy
• Papa Wolf

Madam Garrott

• The Mistress: What she used to be.
• Murder the Hypotenuse: How she stopped being the mistress.
• Retired Monster
• Spot of Tea: One of the few British characters who seems to drink tea.
• Smug Snake

Safir

• Black Sheep: The only one in the Garrott family to not like Mordred.
• Middle Child Syndrome: Dislikes how Janus spends more time doting on Mordred than him.
• Morality Pet: For his grandpa.

Azrael

• Arch-Enemy: To Wiglaf.
• Asexual
• Bishōnen
• Blood Is The New Black: Has been seen sporting this look a couple of times.
• Foe Yay: With Wiglaf.
• Hidden Depths: Likes historical objects of cultural importance and classical music.
• Meaningful Name
• Professional Killer
• Real Men Wear Pink
• Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Wanted to be a social worker of all things. Too bad he inherited Grace.

Gawain

• Criminal Amnesiac: Of a sort. He's been shot in the head so many times that he's forgotten why he's fighting Arthur in the first place and decided to join him, instead.
• Healing Factor
• Our Zombies Are Different
• Signed Up for the Dental

Grace

• Amulet of Dependency
• Artefact of Doom
• Blatant Lies: Yet Azrael seems to believe every single one.
• Empathic Weapon
• Fluffy the Terrible
• Invisible to Normals
• Not So Imaginary Friend
• Our Ghosts Are Different
• Serial Killer
• Snarky Non-Human Sidekick

Hagen

• Daddy's Little Villain

Hnæf

• Intergenerational Friendship: With Security.
• Insufferable Genius
• Mission Control
• Photographic Memory
• Surveillance as the Plot Demands
• Teen Genius

Sedrick

• The Dragon
• Face Heel Turn: For a given value of "face".
• Hypercompetent Sidekick: He's been holding back.
• Subordinate Excuse

The Valkyries

• Amazon Brigade
• Fangirl: For Azrael.
• Girl with Psycho Weapon
• Wrestler in All of Us: Svafa

Alistair

• Deep South
• Retired Monster

Galen

• Back Alley Doctor: Not actually a licensed doctor.
• Mad Scientist
• Mama Bear: Threatened to kill Sedrick if he hurt her daughter.
• Morally Ambiguous Doctorate
• Spot of Tea: Has tea time with Madam Garrott every day.
• Torture Technician

Hildeburh

• Big Brother Instinct
• Informed Attribute: Apparently, he's a brutal killer—we haven't seen any evidence of it yet.
• Raised by Orcs: Well, by Sedrick, which appears to be pretty much the same thing.

Brat

• Annoying Younger Sibling
• No Name Given
• Stalker with a Crush: For Mordred.

Lennart

• Luke, I Am Your Father: To Wiglaf.
• Triang Relations: Type 7 with Linnea at the center and Vilhelm on the other "arm". This has been going on for years.
• Worthy Opponent: Vilhelm

Linnea

• Triang Relations: Type 7. Wiglaf's Dads don't seem happy about it, but they go along with it.

Vilhelm

• Always a Bigger Fish: Has a boss that even Malachi is terrified of.
• Cult: Freely admits he is part of a cult. However he believes they are making the world a better place.
• Obfuscating Stupidity: Originally pretends he knows nothing about magic and artifacts.
• Scary Shiny Glasses
• Triang Relations: Type 7 with Linnea at the center and Lennart on the other "arm". This has been going on for years.
• Well-Intentioned Extremist: He believes turning people into Artifacts is a gift and benefits the world.
• Worthy Opponent: Lennart

Malachi

• Amulet of Dependency
• Artefact of Doom
• Axe Crazy
• Elemental Powers: Knows several high-level elemental spells.
• Powers via Possession: How he confers powers to Vilhem.
• Unbalanced By Rival's Kid: Hates Wiglaf for not being Vilhem's son.

Benjamin

• Action Survivor: He is neither a villain or a hero and would rather not be involved in all the craziness that comes with owning an artifact.
• Beware the Nice Ones: In the hundreds of years Eclat has been an Artifact, he is the only owner who ever found a way to restrain his powers.
• Stop Helping Me!: Eclat "protects" him from women. Also, that whole creating monsters from random objects thing.
• The Woobie: He's Eclat's "owner." 'Nuff said.

The Bystanders

the chart

• Those Two Guys

Eclat

• Amulet of Dependency
• Animate Inanimate Object: His sword turns whatever he touches into living animals.
• Artefact of Doom
• Con Man
• Empathic Weapon: Only without the "empathy" part.
• For the Evulz: Has no better reason for causing massive property damage and loss of life other than because it's fun.
  • However it has been suggested his power is automatic and he doesn't like it when his power causes too much destruction.
• He-Man Woman Hater
• Invisible to Normals
• Nigh Invulnerability
• Our Ghosts Are Different
• Son of a Whore

Generic Burglar

• Blatant Burglar
• Sorting Algorithm of Evil: Definitely believes in this.
• Impossible Thief: His collection of stolen goods ranges from the championship wrestling belt to Picasso paintings.
• What Did You Expect When You Named It ____?

Herschell

• Cat Boy
• The Informant
• No Nudity Taboo

Horatio

• Married to the Job: Practically married to the boss. His wife does not approve.
• Subordinate Excuse: Even though he's married.

Security

• Failed a Spot Check: Everyone with regard to this guy, except Hnæf, Geoffry, and (probably) Garrott.
• Mysterious Past
• Off Screen Teleportation: Literally. And he is made of it.
• Really 700 Years Old
• Running Gag: How he got his start.
• Magic from Technology: How his teleportation works.

Boss

• Always a Bigger Fish: He is the bigger fish.
• Ancient Tradition: What he believes the cult should be classified as.
• Brilliant, but Lazy: An excellent leader, but easily distracted.
• Cult: Is the boss of one.
• I'm a Humanitarian
• Join or Die: The ultimatum he offers anyone who discovers his cult.
• Reasonable Authority Figure: Appreciates that Vilhelm usually does a good job.
• Well-Intentioned Extremist: Sincerely believes kidnapping people and turning them into enslaved, magical artifacts benefits the world.

Jade

• Amazing Technicolor Population: Is green.
• Amulet of Dependency
• Beware the Nice Ones: Called Bliss a two-bit whore of a *$@%.
• May Inca Tec: From ancient South America.
• Nice Guy: Seems like the only artifact that is actually obedient.
• Our Ghosts Are Different
• Ring of Power
• Teleporters and Transporters: His power.

Ledger

• Ancient Greece: Has prayed to Athena.
• Great Big Book of Everything: He list all the artifacts, the date of their creation, and a list of owners.
• The Older Immortal: The second one of the set.