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Characters: Mediochre Q Seth Series

An (incomplete) list of characters from the Mediochreverse.

     The Main Party 

Professor Doctor Laird Sir Mediochre Quirinius Seth, PhD MusD MSc CBE OBE MIMC VC-Bar

An enigmatic 400-year-old dracologist with superhuman abilities to heal and calculate probability, due to a magical accident in his younger days.

Charlotte Johnson

The viewpoint character, at least at first. An ordinary girl, recently moved to Scotland from America, who forces her way into Mediochre’s world after he almost gets her killed.

Professor Joseph Carrion, PhD

A cynical, gun-loving professor of zontanecrology, intensely loyal to Mediochre and revealed in the Christmas Episode to be his godson.

Dhampinella

Joseph’s Dhampir apprentice.

Desra

Mediochre’s pet mouse, which mostly lives in his jacket. Was apparently a present from Joseph.

     The MABGov 
The Mantically Aware British Government is in charge of keeping the mantically-aware side of Britain running. And hidden.

MAB Prime Minister Kathryn Queen AKA Queen MAB

MAB MP James Chrome

The most senior Member of the MAB Parliament in Edinburgh, and an occasional opponent of Mediochre.
  • Badass Bureaucrat: Nobly steps up in the third book, when someone is needed to handle the official side of the unofficial government in the absence of a Prime Minister.
  • Big Good: Takes this role in the third book, since Queen MAB is absent.
  • Enemy Mine: With Mediochre in the third book.
  • Inspector Javert: He does have a point in his trying to bring Mediochre under control, but he goes a bit far.
  • Hanging Separately: If he were more open to trust he’d cause far fewer problems.
  • Obstructive Bureaucrat

Alexander Tanner

Queen MAB's devoted Personal Assistant.

Maccabeus Fervour

The head of the opposition and eventually of the MABGov.
  • Altum Videtur: He peppers his speech liberally with Latin. Except when he's mid-breakdown.
  • Badass Bureaucrat: Capable of this, but only in his attempts to outdo or discredit Queen MAB.
  • Big Bad: Of the third book, technically, since he's responsible for the Stig Unit incident and the resulting prison escape. He was being manipulated by TOWIR, though.
  • The Caligula: He is terrible at running the country, and the stress of it drives him insane.
  • Corrupt Politician: Fervour is a bully who is only in politics for the power.
  • The Coup
  • Famous Last Words: He wanted his to be "Dulce et decorum est pro patrium mori" ("It is sweet and honourable to die for your country", roughly). His actual ones are... less noble.
  • Killed Off for Real: In the third book.
  • Meaningful Name: Fervour implies zealotry, which he seems to be guilty of. Maccabeus was also the name of a revolutionary in Jewish history... whose first name, for added points, was Judas.
  • Puppet King: Mediochre believes him to have become this by the end of the second book.
  • Tyrant Takes the Helm: By the end of the second book.
  • Villainous Breakdown

     The Dusk Foundation 
A half-way-house-cum-youth-hostel type arrangement for the Undead and non-human residents of the city to retreat from the judgement of humanity for a while.

Frankenstein Igor Shelly

A Revenant who runs the Edinburgh Dusk.

Tsukiko Shinju

A Yurei who's spirit is bound to the Edinburgh Dusk. An old friend of Rowan.

Reverend Archibald Maria "Archie" Elijah

A Vampire contact of Mediochre, who is also a Christian minister and something of a father-figure to Dhampinella.

    The Organisation Which I Represent 
A mysterious unnamed group manipulating events from behind the scenes for some clandestine purpose.

The tempomancer AKA Topaz

Real name unknown. A powerful and enigmatic man who functions as some sort of field agent for The Organisation Which he Represents.

Danny Boy Snapfax AKA Jade

A colleague of the tempomancer who advises Charlotte in secret and claims that the tempomancer is a rogue agent whom he is hunting down. He’s lying, it seems. He’s actually the tempomancer’s underling.

Catriona Haulier AKA Obsidian

Seemingly the tempomancer's direct superior. She takes over as the Enigmatic Minion du jour in Book II.

Agate

Apparently Obsidian's direct superior.

Jasper

An underling of The Organisation, assigned to keeping alive the necromancer.

Carnelian

Enigmatic Minion du jour in the third book - although working with the tempomancer this time. Is able to influence Fervour on account of being Mr. DeMort's PA.

     The Sapphire Smuggling Syndicate 
A criminal organisation smuggling magical contraband around the globe.

Sapphire AKA Dean Kiwi Mashuga

The Big Bad of the first book and head of the SSS is actually Mediochre’s employer and old friend.

Mr Antler

The head of the Scottish branch of the SSS, and Sapphire’s direct underling.

Maelstrom

An old, old enemy of Mediochre’s whom the SSS hired as a dragon-slayer.

Beowulf

Maelstrom’s dog.

Isobel Linda Williams

An SSS mercenary sent to recover Glint from Mediochre. Also Kiwi’s daughter.

     The Edinburgh Kiss 
A crime mob of Vampires living underneath Edinburgh. Revealed to be in league with the necromancer.

Guinevere Spencer

Broodmother of the Edinburgh Kiss.

Tiffany Quicksilver

Guinevere's second-in-command.

Sultan

A lower-down member of the Kiss.
  • Badass Longcoat
  • Emo Teen: Looks like one, but he's probably a lot older than that.
  • Superhero Packing Heat: Something of a supervillain packing heat, as it turns out he'd rather threaten people with a gun than with his natural Vampire powers. Charlotte thinks that counts as cheating.

Millacra Karnstein

A former member of the Kiss, now mostly reformed and trying to live a quiet life in the Edniburgh Dusk.

     Floor Theta 
A secret floor in the Stygian Secure Unit where the MABGov indefinitely keeps its most dangerous criminals in induced comas. Naturally, some of them escape in the third book.

The Choromancer

A choromancer (telekinetic, basically) who wants to gain a form of immortality by becoming infamous enough to enter the the cultural psyche as a Bogeyman figure.

Simultaneous Velocity Carnage

A woman with a long-standing grudge against Mediochre and a rare psychological condition where all choices she makes are completely random and unpredictable, making Mediochre's usual skills useless. Implied to be the traceable descendant of Mediochre's original daughter.
  • Affably Evil: She's just as likely to engage you in jocular conversation as she is to kill you.
  • Arch-Enemy: To Mediochre.
  • Confusion Fu
  • Deadpan Snarker: Manages to out-snark Mediochre, in fact.
  • Indy Ploy
  • It's Personal: Between Carnage and Mediochre, it's always personal.
  • Noodle Incident: We don't know much about what happened last time she and Mediochre fought, but apparently a lot of people died and Mediochre temporarily lost an arm.

Springheel Jack

The English folk villain, actually a real creature and still alive after a couple of centuries.

Mabel Hart

A power-obsessed old lady psychomancer.

Valentine Scruff

A philiamancer who doesn't seem quite human - although he views himself as more human than other people. No explanation is given of exactly what he is except that, by his own words, he's what people become if they give in to every urge to dance they ever get.

Bogle "Jonathan" Scruff

Valentine's brother, with many of the same skills and abnormalities. A phobiamancer.

The Pied Piper

Yeah. Yeah, that one. He's an audiomancer and a psychomancer.

The Scissorman

Another creature much like the Pied Piper, although without any obvious mancy. He punishes children whom he perceives as guilty or sinful in some way. Nastily.

Vanadium Steel

A metallimancer who uses his ability to 'talk' to metal as a "terrorist for hire".

     Others 

Melinda Quinn

Mediochre’s long-time friend and one-time apprentice, who was caught in the same accident he was.

Rowan Berry

Melinda’s many-times-great niece, who acts as an informer for Mediochre and befriends Charlotte.

Professor Your Almighty God

Deep Ocean

A dragon with trans-species telepathy, whose eggs the SSS stole and whom Maelstrom wished to kill.

Glint

Deep Ocean’s unhatched child.

The necromancer

The Heavy, if not quite the Big Bad, in the second book.

Xanatos Gambit

Yes, that's actually his name. A Strigoi who serves as The Dragon to the necromancer and is almost certainly a troper.

Doctor Prometheus Modern, MD

A medical doctor who is an old friend of Mediochre and Joseph, skilled in improvisational field medicine.

Zac Abrahams

Leader of the Humanist Movement, a militant human organisation in favour of human supremacy.

Doctor Alexander "Mad Lex" Gunpowder, PhD

Joseph's old mentor. Turns up in person in the Christmas Episode.

Aoife Silk

Mediochre's adopted-daughter-forward-slash-kidnap-victim. It's, uh, complicated.
  • Abusive Parents: The Silks, probably. If nothing else, It's noted that her mother had a habit of blaming her for everything, which is a pretty psychologically damaging thing to do to a little girl.
  • Cheerful Child: For the most part, despite her backstory. It's hard to tell if this is a case of Sad Clown or The Pollyanna.
  • Children Are Innocent: Making her a handy foil for Mediochre...
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Via Nothing Is Scarier. All we know of her childhood pre-Mediochre is that she frequently called an advice hotline just to have someone to talk to, she really didn't want her mother to catch her doing so, and she had learned to cry without making enough noise to alert anyone. And then there's this:
    Mediochre: You didn't see what her parents were arrested for.
  • Innocent Prodigy: The innocence is there. The prodigy part is downplayed, but she's pretty sharp for her age.
  • Wise Beyond Their Years/From the Mouths of Babes: She quotes Neitzche at Mediochre. Although she does mention that she heard it from someone else.