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You Suck at Cooking is a satirical Cooking Show on YouTube.

How satirical is it? Well, for starters, the show is literally called "You Suck at Cooking", and in it, the nameless, faceless host routinely does things like rolling watermelons into a wall so they explode into peas and crushing radishes with a hammer so they turn into red skittles, all with the most straight face (read: voice) possible by human and inhuman standards. So yeah, it's pretty safe to say that we all know where we're headed.

The channel describes itself as this: "No bullshit. Just cooking (except for all the bullshit)". Think of it like the smarter, less appreciated cousin of HowToBasic.

Now, we still could go on and on about this channel, say, we could talk about the b-plot of the show that involves an egg policeman trying to solve a murder mystery and arrest the local egg biker gang. But hey, why should we make a trope page about it so you can read it when you can just experience the channel yourself? Go ahead, no one's looking.


Not related to You Suck At Photoshop.

This show provides examples of:

  • April Fools' Day: In 2018, with a video about how to make a boiled potato. It's done completely straight-laced without any humor whatsoever. The host even just says "pepper" instead of "pepper pepper pepper" when he adds it.
  • Artistic License – History: Knives were invented in the 1940s, so before then, people just bashed stuff against the wall to cut them.
  • Author Appeal: Avocados and dijon mustard.
  • Blatant Lies: In "Gregg's Bean Dip", the song goes "You're good at cooking, and you're totally cool" while the title graphics stay the same as any other time.
  • Berserk Button: Do NOT mess with Gregg's bean dip recipe.
  • Bloody Hilarious: In "Honey-Roasted Carrots," the host stabs himself through the arm with a parsnip, causing blood to go everywhere. In the next shot, he's fine.
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  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: The host genuinely is a good cook and comes up with some pretty tasty recipes. It just so happens that he is also completely out of touch with reality and prone to bizarre, off-the-wall tangents.
  • Butt-Monkey: Devon the Intern. The host barely lets him get a few words out whenever he talks.
  • Call-Back:
    • The host's sister's blender that is first shown in "Bean and Corn Salad (or Dip)" returns in "Blueberry Smoothie".
    • In first of Pimblokto's episodes, he advises the viewer to leave the stove on until the next time you're cooking. Indeed, in his next appearance, the stove was still on from the last time he cooked.
    • In "7 Ways to Chop an Onion" the host mentions that putting too much pressure on an onion will turn it into black beans. In "Macho Nachos" he does that very method to get black beans.
    • In "Game Day Artichoke Dip", it's revealed that the host stole his sister's baking dish in revenge for her demanding her Vitamix back.
    • Any time the host stores something in a secret place forever we can see that it is always the same secret place and everything previously stored there is in fact still there.
    • A callback to a short scene with talking eggs spawned an entire side storyline involving the eggs.
    • Pimblokto accidentally stabs a hole through a plastic bowl. The host in a later episode discovers the hole and is confused.
  • Canada, Eh?: While never stated outright, the host is most likely Canadian, due to his accent and the products he uses having both French and English writing on them.
  • Catchphrase:
    • The host says "pepper pepper pepper" each time he adds pepper to a dish.
    • "Wangjangle" for mixing or stirring. Any implement used for the purpose is called a "wangjangler."
    • "Damn, that's a good ______."
  • Choose Your Own Adventure: The format of the "Choose Your Own Adventure Cookies" episode, but the choices are chosen for you.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: The host gives one when he burned toast.
  • Cooking Show: Albeit a rather surreal and humorous one. The host does genuinely teach the viewer how to make food, just with layers of surreal humor, snark, and sarcasm.
  • Early Installment Weirdness: The very first episode saw the host be more deadpan than usual, while also (uncensoredly) swearing up a storm.
  • Exact Words: "Toasted Walnut Potato Salad" sees the host mention that his Uncle Jim gave him his cutting board before he died. He then proceeds to thank Uncle Jim for the cutting board... and for not dying yet.
  • The Faceless: Everyone. Even on the rare occasions that someone else shows up in the videos besides the host, no one's face is ever seen.
  • Failed a Spot Check: During his cameo on Binging With Babishnote , he forgets to make sure that the clay he was using for cooking with clay wouldn't contaminate the food he cooked in it.
  • Foreshadowing: Now, wait a second, why would a video about candied walnuts be 10 minutes long?
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: In "Gregg's Bean Dip", the host's dad doesn't appreciate the "salty language" in the show, so the host uses swear words from his dad's time (the 20s) such as "Flapdoodle" and "Bajabbers!"
  • Gilligan Cut: In the ramen episode, the host warns the viewer that, when you're in college, "whatever you do, don't have that first drink." Cut immediately to the host partying with alcohol, and waking up the next morning with a hangover.
  • Granola Guy: The host becomes one in "Transcendental Granola".
  • Halfway Plot Switch: "Candied Walnuts" is ten minutes long, with only the first two actually being about candied walnuts. The episode takes a turn when the host decides to vacuum up some spilled sugar, only to see Pimblokto's footprints in the process.
  • Hipster: The host becomes one in "Cold Brew Coffee".
  • Insane Troll Logic:
    • Being too healthy can make you sick.
    • The host stopped being vegetarian for "ethical reasons".
  • Musical Episode: Bean and Corn Salad (or Dip).
  • Noodle Incident: What happened that night with those eggs?
  • Overly Long Gag:
    • The intro song for "Deluxe Cheese and Crackers".
    • The intro song for "Melodic Lentils", which besides being a direct sequel to the previous one, takes it up to eleven and continues singing the recipe of the episode as well, essentially making the intro song the entire episode.
    • One particular macaroni and cheese dish in the "Modified Mac and Cheese" episode is so long that it takes two entire screens worth of captions to fit it all.
  • Rated M for Manly: Parodied with "Macho Nachos." The narrator suggests that only real men watch the episode, speaking more aggressively and punching captions when they show up. While making the nachos, the host adds moisturizer to his hands, puts on nail polish, and tap dances. After the nachos are done, he adds flowers to them.
  • Reality-Breaking Paradox: "Naturopathic Quesadillas" sees the culmination of a long time running gag, with the host deciding to put an onion in the "onion". The end result is the video crashing.
  • Rhyming Episode: The episode about popcorn is done in the style of a poem being read at a poetry slam.
  • Robot Buddy: Parodied. Pimblokto, who is actually just two gopher grabbers, tries to emulate the regular host in his episodes and makes an enormous mess each time. In their first shared appearance, the host expresses more than his share of annoyance, culminating in him kicking Pimblokto out during the episode about pizza.
  • Rube Goldberg Device: Attempted and failed horribly in "Crispy Ramen Salad." He ends up having to go through all of the steps manually.
  • Running Gag:
    • Throwing stuff against the wall to cut it.
    • He starts calling his oven "the onion" after mixing up the two in episode 7.
    • Whenever he needs something diced, the host will throw the thing at a cutting board, and a Jump Cut will show it perfectly diced as soon as it hits the board.
  • Secret Test of Character: In the episode on "Romantic Chocolate Chip Cookies", the host tells the viewer to turn to their significant other and say that they're really just friends who are pretending something's still there, and that they're both immature children. After that, the host says that if your relationship survived that, then it must be strong and you both deserve some chocolate chip cookies.note 
  • Self-Deprecation: In the episode on macaroons, the host says if you want to make the best macaroons possible, to "turn off this video and go find a real recipe."
  • Serious Business: In "5 Quick Breakfasts," the last breakfast, avocado toast, is done with sad music and a contemplative montage, because the host says people who eat avocado toast for breakfast will never be homeowners.
  • Shout-Out: The only response the host can muster when he is about to be attacked by Pimblokto? "Clever girl."
  • Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: After making macaroons, you can "eat them with prunes or some runes and balloons in the park at noon, or wait until night and look up at... the entire celestial space."
    • To make kale chips, you "bail the kale out of the pail that you got on sale, then check it for nails, then pull off its tail while muffling its wail, and inspect it to make sure it doesn't contain snails and that it's not too frail, and then use it to check your mail and rub it on the rails with a banana for scale, then do a criminal background check to make sure that it's never been in the prison system because you don't need that kind of negative energy when making kale chips."
  • Surreal Humor:
    • The host frequently goes off on long tangents that have nothing to do with cooking, or suggests food combinations and preparations that are downright bizarre, like suggesting you can make salsa with a brick as an ingredient.
    • In the "Caramel Apples" episode, the host decorates his bushes with cotton balls, paper towels and ketchup to make it "spooky" for Halloween. Also, he uses a spoon, a wooden dagger, and a carrot in place of a popsicle stick or a chop stick.
    • The host's cooking instructions frequently make no sense (such as putting a zipper on a banana peel with a hot glue gun), or are flat-out impossible (like taking a red onion and turning it into black beans by hitting it with a frying pan).
  • Take That, Audience!:
    • The title of the show itself, as well as the outro song, both would like to remind you that you suck at cooking.
    • In several episodes, the host comments that if you don't like certain ingredients, you're a tool or need to get your head checked.
  • Wham Episode:
    • Parodied in "Kidney Beans on Rye Caraway". The episode is dedicated to the host's Aunt Winnie, who has been dead for nineteen years.
    • Played straight in "Candied Walnuts": Pimblokto returns and, after a failed attempt to abandon him at the Grand Canyon, he attacks the host and steals his car.
  • Your Mom:
    • The outro gag for "Deluxe Cheese and Crackers".
    • During the episode on macaroni and cheese, the host says one style of mac and cheese pairs well with "your mom."


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