Rod Serling: Good evening. A most cordial welcome to a display of canvases from what you might call "The Mausoleum School of Art".
The Diary
Written by: Rod Serling
Directed by: William Hale
Rod Serling: Subject: a common enough item utilized by teenagers and tycoons. The daily journal in which we notate the happenings of our day-to-day existence. But in this instance, a unique periodical. It doesn't record what was, but rather predicts what will be. Its title: The Diary. It's our initial offering, in the Night Gallery.
TV gossip columnist Holly Schaefer (Patty Duke) is confronted at a New Year's Eve party by former star Carrie Crane (Virginia Mayo), who Holly particularly thrashed on the most recent episode of her program. Carrie gives Holly a "One Year Diary" before she departs, which she opens to find an entry for New Year's Day written in her own handwriting. The entry details an apparent feeling of guilt stemming from Carrie's suicide, right as Holly discovers that Carrie willingly stepped in front of a speeding car. Over the next few days, Holly finds more entries in the supposedly prophetic diary which foretell events that happen the day after, including her phone being out of order, a missed appearance on her show, and her boyfriend Jeb Harlan (Robert Yuro) dying in an accident. When she discovers that the diary has apparently run out of entries, she becomes convinced that her own death is imminent and tries to find a way to keep it from occurring.
Tropes
- Asshole Victim: Holly, who is driven to insanity by the prophetic diary foretelling her indirect killing of both Carrie and Jeb, as well as her imminent death, and is revealed to have had herself locked in a padded cell for five years.
- Cigarette of Anxiety: Holly smokes one as she meets with Dr. Mill, the therapist lighting it for her.
- The Dog Bites Back: After bullying her to the point of suicide, Carrie gets the last laugh posthumously when Holly goes insane reading the diary she gifted her.
- Driven to Suicide: Carrie Crane, the alcoholic, has-been celebrity who Holly mocked relentlessly on TV, throws herself in front of a car after leaving her New Year's Eve party, where she gifted Holly the diary.
- Go Mad from the Revelation: Holly succumbs to insanity as the One Year Diary's entries come true, largely through her own actions, and locks herself in a padded cell for what's revealed to be five years by the end of the segment.
- Horror Doesn't Settle for Simple Tuesday: The first half of the segment is set on New Year's Eve/Day, with Holly first receiving the One Year Diary from Carrie at her New Year's party and the former actress killing herself shortly after midnight.
- Immoral Journalist: Holly makes a living as a trashy tabloid reporter who roasts celebrities, especially has-beens who get into legal trouble like Carrie. Even when she succumbs to insanity, she feels no remorse for driving Carrie to suicide.
- Laser-Guided Karma: For ultimately driving Carrie to suicide through her gossip column, Holly loses her boyfriend in a plane crash and is driven to insanity by the (supposedly) prophetic diary she is gifted by Carrie herself.
- Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane: It's left unrevealed whether Holly's new diary can actually predict the future, or if Carrie just copied Holly's handwriting and wrote a series of entries that inexplicably came to pass to screw with her. The latter theory carries evidence from the fact that Holly ends up making these prophecies come to pass in her own paranoia, including jumping to conclusions when Carrie evidently stopped writing.
- Naked People Are Funny: Holly's New Year's party features a brief scene of a little person dressed as Baby New Year, with the traditional sash and diaper.
- Napoleon Delusion: After the Time Skip, Holly envisions herself as being a plethora of "hysterical historical figures" when Dr. Mill checks on her.
- No Sympathy: Though the diary's entries paint her as the guilty party, Holly shows no remorse over her awful behavior and her role in Carrie's suicide, even after she goes mad and ends up in a padded cell. Therefore, her ultimate fate is thoroughly deserved.
- Pretty in Mink: Carrie wears a lavish fur coat as she confronts Holly with the One Year Diary.
- Role-Ending Misdemeanor: Averted In-Universe. Carrie is a washed-up hasbeen who has recently been arrested for public drunkenness and disorderly conduct, but we don't actually learn what happened to her that made her this way.
- Sanity Slippage: After reading an entry depicting her death seemingly prophetic diary, Holly has herself committed to a mental institution to save herself from whatever fate should befall her. The segment ends with her claiming to have found a way to beat the diary... and then we find out from Dr. Mill that she's been a patient there for five years now.
- Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: As she grows more and more paranoid at the diary's entries, Holly ends up making the events described therein happen through her own intervention.
- Shout-Out: Her opening rebuttal to Carrie on her program has Holly referring to her as "The Wicked Witch of the West in hot pants."
- Small Role, Big Impact: Carrie is only featured in the opening act, committing suicide at the end of said act, but she gives Holly the supposed future-telling diary before she walks in front of a car, ultimately making Holly go mad.
- Time Skip: After Holly has herself committed to keep adding to the diary's entries, Dr. Mill reveals to his nurse that it's actually been five years since she first got there.
- Tome of Eldritch Lore: The One Year Diary, which is filled with entries that accurately predict future events in Holly's life, each written in Holly's handwriting.
A Matter of Semantics
Written by: Gene R. Kearney
Directed by: Jack Larid
A young nurse (E. J. Peaker) working at a blood bank is visited by a "generous guest", Count Dracula (Cesar Romero), who gives her a rather unusual request. A communication breakdown soon ensues as the nurse tries to decipher what exactly the Count wants to do regarding blood.
Tropes
- Deadly Euphemism: As Dracula tells the nurse, she works at a blood bank, and he wants to "apply for a loan".
- Dramatically Missing the Point: The crux of the sketch has the nurse thinking that Dracula wants to give blood, while Dracula tries explaining that he wants to feed on it. Hers, specifically.
- Dumb Blonde: The nurse may qualify, as she takes everything Dracula says regarding blood as wanting to give a donation.
- Minimalist Cast: Dracula, the nurse, and her supervisor are the only characters present.
- Rage Against the Reflection: Or the lack thereof, to be precise. Dracula closes the nurse's compact mirror when she does her makeup, claiming to "have this thing about mirrors."
- Running Gag: Dracula keeps eyeing the office's fridge full of blood donations as he talks to the nurse. She thinks that the equipment is making him nervous, so she tells him that he has nothing to fear.
Big Surprise
Written by: Richard Matheson
Directed by: Jeannot Szwarc
Rod Serling: Our painting reminds us that there's a strange fascination of digging holes alongside ancient oaks. You give the average man a shovel and an "X" on a map, and the fantasies come thick and fast. Pirate gold, hidden Confederate treasure, and sometimes the unexpected, and sometimes the unwelcome. Hence the title: Big Surprise.
One afternoon, three young boys encounter a creepy old man, Mr. Hawkins (John Carradine), stepping out of his house. After inviting one of the boys, Chris (Vincent Van Patten), to get closer, Hawkins tells Chris and his pals Jason and Dan about an area of land near a particular oak tree, inviting the boys to dig on that land for a "big surprise". Thinking that there's buried treasure where they'll dig, Chris and his friends get to work, determined not to let anything stop them from reaching a payoff, whatever said payoff might be.
Tropes
- Ambiguously Human: Mr. Hawkins apparently transports himself inside a coffin that Chris digs up on his orders, and spends hours down there without oxygen while looking no worse for wear. Whether he's a ghost or something more is never revealed.
- Anti-Climax: The segment's namesake surprise turns out to be Mr. Hawkins himself, who pops out of his own grave and cheerfully tells Chris "Surprise!".
- Buried Alive: The titular surprise turns out to be Mr. Hawkins himself buried in a coffin.
- Creepy Crows: While Chris is digging the hole Mr. Hawkins told him to dig, there are numerous cuts to a setting sun and dark sky filled with the frantic cawing of crows, adding to the suspense of what he will uncover. What he does find is unexpected, but he still treats it like a horrific discovery.
- Evil Old Folks: Possibly averted with Mr. Hawkins. He's treated as a wicked old creep who all the kids in town are wary about interacting with, but he doesn't appear evil in regards to what he plans with Chris. His surprise terrifies the boy when he finally digs him up, but he doesn't seem to want to inflict harm upon him at all.
- Foreshadowing: Jason and Dan dismiss Mr. Hawkins' "surprise" as a mere prank. They turn out to be completely right, but the exact nature of said prank terrifies Chris from the implications.
- Genre Savvy: Jason and Dan initially think that the creepy Mr. Hawkins telling Chris to go to an old oak tree and dig a deep hole to find a "surprise" sounds like either a prank or a waste of time, yet they reluctantly agree with assisting him in digging. Hours after they start and they still don't find anything, the former two wisely ditch Chris.
- Nightmare Fetishist: Mr. Hawkins apparently means no harm to Chris, but letting the boy dig him up while resting in his own grave was apparently his idea of a playful surprise.
- Nobody Calls Me "Chicken"!: Chris is goaded into letting Mr. Hawkins talk to him when Jason and Dan start calling him chicken.
- Pirate Booty: It's lampshaded in Serling's narration, and what Chris and his pals think might be buried under the oak tree where Mr. Hawkins tells the former to dig.
- Schmuck Bait: The creepy Mr. Hawkins tells Chris and his friends to dig a hole deep in the forest to find a "surprise". Chris wastes no time in looking for a shovel, and keeps digging even when his friends ditch him. Serling's narration even notes how giving a man a shovel and a map will instantly set him looking for buried treasure.
- Senior Creep: Mr. Hawkins is treated as one by Chris, his friends, and the rest of the local children. But despite the accusations, he doesn't appear to want to harm or scare them at all, despite how alarming his surprise is.
- Title Drop: Mr. Hawkins asks Chris if he'd like to have a "big surprise" when the pair end up talking.
- The Unreveal: We never learn how Mr. Hawkins buries himself alive when Chris ends up digging him up, but the implications are that he's not exactly human.
- "What Now?" Ending: We don't know what happens to Chris after he finds the titular surprise, but he reacts with abject fear after seeing Mr. Hawkins buried in his own grave.
Professor Peabody's Last Lecture
Written by: Jack Larid
Directed by: Jerrold Freedman
Rod Serling: Our final offering: a study in-depth of a gentleman from academia; seen here at the lectern, delivering a most scholarly treatise. This particular class, I don't think you'll want to cut. The painting's title: Professor Peabody's Last Lecture.
College educator Professor Peabody (Carl Reiner) specializes in teaching, or rather, debunking religions and mythologies, specializing in calling them foolish and ridiculous. His current lesson is about the Great Old Ones of Lovecraftian lore, carefully reciting their names to his students, who warn him that the Great Old Ones don't like hearing their names be spoken. Disbelieving the warnings, even as an otherworldly storm begins brewing outside the classroom, Peabody reads aloud from the Necronomicon, criticizing the book as he does so, before he learns the hard way not to anger otherworldly deities from ancient times.
Tropes
- All Myths Are True: Professor Peabody learns the hard way that the Great Old Ones are real, since all his students appear to have known beforehand, and they turn him into an abomination after he won't stop invoking their names.
- Bolt of Divine Retribution: The Great Old Ones zap the blasphemous Peabody with lighting to turn him into an abomination.
- Bottle Episode: The segment is set entirely in Peabody's classroom.
- Bullying a Dragon: Peabody keeps taunting the Great Old Ones by saying their names and reading the Necronomicon to prove that their Mythos is nothing but foolish superstition. He ends up becoming one of them in response.
- Dissonant Serenity:
- After being turned into a horrific abomination for pissing off the Great Old Ones, Peabody's only reaction is to ask if anyone else has any questions.
- Peabody's students themselves appear to have been aware that the beings were real for as long as time began, and they show very little reaction at the sudden storm outside and their professor's descent into madness as he reads the Necromonicon. Despite this, they're still horrified at watching their professor become an abomination, even after expressly warning him of the fate that his blasphemy would lead to.
- Do Not Taunt Cthulhu: The segment is a literal interpretation of the trope, as Cthulhu is among the Great Old Ones who get pissed at Peabody for saying their names.
- Eldritch Abomination: The Great Old Ones of Lovecraftian myth are real in this segment's universe, and though they aren't seen, they're mentioned heavily, prompting them to transform Peabody into an abomination for his blasphemy.
- Empathic Environment: The Great Old Ones conjure a massive thunderstorm out of nowhere as they grow angrier at Peabody's insolence and skepticism.
- Homage: The segment serves as a darkly comedic tribute to the Cthulhu Mythos, as Peabody brings the Great Old Ones' fury upon himself for repeating their names.
- Humanoid Abomination: Peabody is turned into one by the Great Old Ones after he doesn't stop invoking their names.
- It Was a Dark and Stormy Night: The Great Old Ones conjure a massive storm, notably unseasonal, outside the classroom as Peabody's blasphemous lecture continues, growing heavier and more destructive the longer Peabody continues lecturing.
- I Warned You: Peabody's students tried to tell him that he was essentially begging for punishment with his debunking lecture of the Great Old Ones, which he failed to heed.
- Large Ham: Peabody goes bonkers in his reading of the Necronomicon, as expected from Carl Reiner, who portrays him.
- Lighter and Softer: The Lovecraft homages present and the overacting Peabody displays during his lecture mean that the segment is played for comedy, in spite of its eldritch subject matter.
- Quip to Black: "And now, if there are no further questions..." as said by a now-mutated Peabody.
- Shout-Out: As detailed above, references to the Cthulhu Mythos are plentiful in this segment:
- Three of Peabody's students are given the names "Bloch", "Derleth", and "Lovecraft", after two contributors and the very creator of the Mythos. The last of which is portrayed as a nerdy teacher's pet, alluding to the author's major role in the Mythos' creation.
- Peabody recollects that belief in the Great Old Ones started about 50 years ago in Arkham, Massachusetts, the fictional town featured in such Lovecraft novels as At the Mountains of Madness and The Shadow Out of Time.
- Peabody also reads excerpts from the Necronomicon during his lecture, but before doing so, he notes that his copy of the book is on loan from the library of Miskatonic University.
- While commenting about the "childish" aspects of belief in regards to religion, Peabody compares such aspects to the childish belief in Clark Kent being able to leap over tall buildings in a single bound.
- The Show Must Go On: Peabody doesn't let the suddenly appearing storm or the concerns of his students stop him from shitting on the Great Old Ones, and he even seems mildly perplexed when he's turned into an abomination.
- Skepticism Failure: Peabody is a man of higher learning who thinks that all religions, mythologies, and superstitions are utterly stupid. He invokes the Great Old Ones' wrath by calling their cults the stupidest belief system of all, saying their names repeatedly, and reading the Necronomicon to prove that there's nothing real about them, only for them to transform him into an abomination.
- Tempting Fate: As Peabody's students tried to warn him, it's not a good idea to invoke the names of the Great Old Ones when it's widely known they don't like it.
- Tome of Eldritch Lore: The Necronomicon, which Peabody evidently borrowed from Miskatonic University. The professor subjects himself to the full fury of the Great Old Ones when he reads incantations from the book aloud.
- Unexpectedly Real Magic: The skeptical Professor Peabody reads from the Necronomicon in order to demonstrate that there is nothing supernatural about it and that the Great Old Ones are just silly superstition. Needless to say, this doesn't end well for him.
