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Quotes / Unholy Matrimony

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"A match made in Heaven set the fires in Hell..."
Lupe Fiasco

"Monarch. Dr. Girlfriend. The Guild of Calamitous Intent approves of your application for duoship. I now pronounce you villain and villainess. You may kiss your Queen."
The Sovereign, The Venture Bros.

Roy: You people are sick!
Sabine: Ah, but our relationship is healthy!

"It's the age old story
How an evil boy meets an evil girl
We've got a love strong enough
To rule the whole wide world
We both maniacally laugh
At all the same stuff
You can't foil a plan
That's built upon evil love."
Dr. Doofenshmirtz and his new girlfriend, Phineas and Ferb, "Evil Love"

Buffy: Whatever you think you're feeling, it's not love. You can't love without a soul.
Drusilla: Oh, we can, you know. We can love quite well. If not wisely.

"What, is a mass murderer not allowed to fall in love like a regular person?"
Ladd Russo, Baccano!

"We're both monsters, Gaius. Let us be monsters together and seize the fucking heavens!"
Illythia, Spartacus

"I love that woman. I love her more than sharks love blood."
Frank Underwood, House of Cards (US)

Vash: I want the life I had before I met you.
Q: And a stellar life indeed. The eminent Vash. Barred from the Royal Museum of Epsilon Hydra Seven, persona non grata on Betazed. Wanted dead on Myrmidon for stealing the Crown of the First Mother...
Vash: —Dead or alive!
Q: Preferably dead. It's a wonder you haven't offended every sentient race in the galaxy.
Vash: You're the one who almost got me killed on Errikang Seven. And they weren't exactly thrilled to see you on Brax either. What did they call you? The God of Lies?
Q: They meant it affectionately.

"You both just keep agreeing about horrifying things and relishing everyone else's misery! So seriously, when's the wedding?"

"This is a man who willingly wooed and bedded Ann Coulter. Imagine the pillow-talk."

"The former Queen of MySpace and one time Nazi sympathizer Tila Tequila gave birth to the daughter she says she made with an alleged serial killer. Tila should’ve named her daughter Poor You since that’s what most people are going to say to her."

We’re rock bottom
But there ain’t no stopping
‘Cause its you and me against the world...
— "Problem", Natalia Kills

Wander: Hater’s always talking about how he wants a girlfriend, so I devised the perfect setup to get Hater and Dominator to show up here. They’ll fall in love, that love will kiss out all their evil and everything will be great forever!
Sylvia: Or they become twice as evil and conquer the galaxy together!
Wander: Naaah.
Wander over Yonder, “The Battle Royale”

Xanatos: Marry me.
Fox: Excuse me?
Xanatos: We're genetically compatible, highly intelligent, and have the same goals. It makes perfect sense to get married.
Fox: True, but what about love?
Xanatos: I think we love each other, as much as two people such as ourselves are capable of that emotion.

Velya, despite his great age, is a newlywed of sorts. During the 19th century, on a sojourn through England, the vampire lord met little Elaine Cassidy, 10-year-old scion of a moneyed Boston family. Enamored by Elaine's exquisite beauty and even more exquisite evil, Velya Embraced her and united with her in a mutual Blood Bond. To ensure that she would never leave his side, Velya amputated Elaine's legs and grafted the tiny childe to his back, where she sprouts to this night note . Even other Sabbat are unnerved to hear the lilting child-voice breathlessly detailing the next torture Elaine wishes to see her husband perform.
Vampire: The Masquerade - Clanbook: Tzimisce

Samael, who rebelled from the Host, saw something in her. They joined as husband and wife. Their coupling made for offspring both terrible and miraculous. Many of the monsters of this age trace their roots back to her. Embryonic cannibalism. It began as a relationship of convenience. She was to be a catspaw for Samael. But she rose as his equal. Surprises in love can happen even to the Fallen. The Nephilim lost their war, and so ended the First Age, but not the union of Samael and Lilith. Bonnie and Clyde blasting eternity.
The Buzzing, The Secret World

How an evil boy meets an evil girl,
We got a love strong enough to rule the whole wide world,
We both maniacally laugh at all the same stuff,
I found my other half, yes,
I got an evil love!
Doofenshmirtz & His Girlfriend, Phineas and Ferb, "Happy Evil Love Song"

Mephisto: Dracula and Shiklah, I now pronounce you, uh... man, er Lord of the Vampires and Queen of the Undead. This is one wedding I can get behind!
Deadpool: HA!
Spider-Man: What's that supposed to mean? I don't get it.
Deadpool #29

Natira: Without me, you'd still be the same angry, hotheaded young creature I took in so many cycles ago.
Scorpius: Without me, your head - among other things - would be a trophy on the wall at Peacekeeper Command.
Natira: See? We were made for each other.
Blackmore: Now I'm full-time, baby. I can rule this town!
Jordan: Need a hand with that, Black?
Blackmore: Oh yes, girl. You're the only one who could see the real me. All the best games get better with an inside man - even better with an inside woman.
Jordan: You know it's always better when you play dirty with girls. He's gone, right?
Blackmore: For good.
Jordan: Because you're the only part of him I ever liked.
[They kiss]
The Suffering: Ties That Bind

He's out his head, I'm out my mind
We got that love, the crazy kind
I am his, and he is mine
In the end, it's him and I...
— "Him & I", by G-Eazy and Halsey

In Shanghai, he built his Palace and waited. Soon, its fame spread among the Kind. A mating pair arrived from the Dark Continent, no longer able to retreat from the explorers and the empires of Europe. Giselle, the exquisite child, slipped out of the darkness one night, cocooned in silver furs. It was she, thinking of a fairy tale, who had invented his title, the King of the Cats. Almost as old as he, she was still capable of seeming a genuine child. With each new member of the circle, he was able to piece together more of the history. With Giselle, he shared the Dream, an experience he had never been able to approach, even with the dearest of his prey. Shaping everything within their perceptions, they had fused until their personalities could no longer be distinguished. They would reign, as King and Queen of the Cats, for an eternity.


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