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Quotes / Jerk with a Heart of Jerk

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"Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
Denis Leary, Asshole

Annie: He's a jerk because we exclude him.
Jeff: We exclude him because he's a jerk!
Community, discussing Pierce.

Steve: I should have known better, but then you said that you were doing it because you cared!
Roger: I do care, kiddo. I care about me.

Penny: At first I thought [Captain Hammer] was really cheesy-
Billy: Trust your instincts.
Penny: But you know how sometimes people have one layer on the outside, and then another, completely different layer beneath?
Billy: And sometimes there's a third, even deeper, level, and that one is the same as
Penny: Huh?
Billy: Like with pie.

You know, Zapp, once I thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then I realized that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now I realize that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!
Leela, Futurama

Jaime Lannister: I didn't realize you placed such a high value on my brother's life.
Tywin Lannister: He's a Lannister! He might be the lowest of the Lannisters, but he's one of us! And every day that he remains a prisoner, the less our name commands respect.

"He may be grouchy on the outside, but inside beats a heart of stone."
Big Bird, The Hollywood Squares, on Oscar the Grouch.

"Don't be fooled. Underneath all those swastikas, he's a real prick."
John Lyshitski, Let's Go to Prison

Dr. Molly Clock: Oh, Dr. Kelso's all bluster. Underneath it all, I'll bet he's a sweetheart.
Dr. Perry Cox: No, no. Underneath it all, he is pure evil.
Clock: Perry, no one's pure evil. I mean, yes, some people have a hard outer shell, but inside everybody has a creamy center.
Cox: There are plenty of people here on this particular planet who are hard on the outside and hard on the inside.
Clock: So they'd have more of a nougat-y center?
Cox: Lady... people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Scrubs, episode "My Common Enemy"

"When you were assigned to be my roommate, I thought you were a jerk. Then I tricked myself into believing you weren't. I won't make that mistake again."

Edge is the kind of man you don't like at first... but gradually, you get to hate him!

Aladeen: I now know that on the outside, I am a bit of a cocksucker...
Nadal: Yeah!
Aladeen: But deep down...I'm nice.
Nadal: Not really.
Aladeen: Yes I am! I'm like mafrum: hard and spiky on the outside, but soft and really mushy on the in.
Nadal: You're not like mafrum at all! You're like an onion! An outer layer of cocksucker, and when you peel it away, there is ten more layers of cocksucker underneath!

Rodimus: At the end of the day, he was a good person. He just kept forgetting how to be good.
Ultra Magnus: I-what? No. A good person who forgot how to be- no! Feeling bad doesn't erase millions of years of warmongering. He used us, Rodimus. We trusted him and he abused that trust- because that's what he was: a serial abuser. He tricked us. He tricked me. His repentance was a sham, his guilt was an affectation. The tortured soul, the killer's remorse - it was a lie. [..] Wake up, Rodimus. He was evil. He was always evil.

"Underneath this harsh surface, I'm deeply sensitive." [..] "I LIED. Underneath this harsh surface, there's just MORE harsh surface."
The Sheriff, Robin Hood

Darkstripe: You're mine, kittypet. It's time for you to die.
Firestar: So now you're fighting on the side of Tigerstar's murderer? Have you no loyalty?
Darkstripe: Not anymore. Every cat in the forest can turn to crowfood for all I care. All I want is to see you dead.

"I am not a nice man. It's important that you understand that. It's going to save you a great deal of time and effort. There is not a warmer, kinder me waiting to be coaxed out into the light. I am acerbic. I can be cruel. It's who I am. Right to the bottom. I'm neither proud of this nor ashamed of it. It simply is. And in my work, my nature has been an advantage far more than it has been a hindrance. I'm not going to change."
— Sherlock Holmes, Elementary

"Beneath that cold exterior beats a heart of pure stone."
Dayna re Avon, Blake's 7

Mokuba: That's not my brother! Everyone says he's a bad person, but it's not true!
Yami: He stole my grandfather's favorite card, put him in the hospital and then left you at the mercy of his enemies! Face it kid, your brother's a giant prick!

"AH! He’s gone! Something could have happened to him! Or worse, something could happen to ME because something happened to HIM!"

Cinder Fall: You know, genuine care can be quite a dangerous thing.
Roman Torchwick: You know, you sound just like Kincaid. Let me guess: if your little girlfriend got taken, you'd go and shoot her yourself. Right?
Cinder Fall: Of course not. She has a useful Semblance. I wouldn't want to get rid of that.
CRME, Chapter 12 "You're Hired"

Essentially, George MacDonald Fraser's The Flashman Papers and McAuslan stories transplanted into the 41st Millennium, though, while Cain is more of a Coward with a Heart of Gold, Flashman can best be described as a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk, Braised in a Jamaican Jerk Sauce, then Dried out into Jerked Jerk Jerky.

It's worth noting that not every person who treats you like dirt is trying to hide a deep-rooted romantic attraction that they just can't admit to. Some people just genuinely hate you.
Johnathan Grey Carter, Science Explains The Tsundere Appeal

"Don't be misled—behind that cold, austere, severe exterior, there beats a heart of stone."
Cyril Ritchard, on Metropolitan Opera impresario Rudolph Bing

"Guess I was an idiot for thinking you capable of feeling compassion or a sense of obligation."
Krillin to Cell, Dragon Ball Fighter Z


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