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Funny / The Angry Video Game Nerd Season Eight

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    Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing 
  • The fictional commercial that the Nerd makes about the game. Particularly in how it advertises the game's glitches as features:
    Man: Off-road traction! More power for non-stop driving action!
    Man: Over-the-road racing! Above the road, under the road — who knows?!
    Man: Never lose a race again! You're always winner!
    Man: Engines equipped with quantum-phasing molecular mechanics to pass through solid objects so as to not interrupt the racing experience! Nothing stands in your way!
    Man: Rear-spinning tires with warp-drive velocity for interdimensional exploring! Leave the game behind and exceed the boundaries of existence!
    • And after all that, the man in the commercial hilariously sums the game up with this statement:
    Man: Driving around in fuckin' trucks!
  • The Nerd completely loses it when he sees the infamous "You're Winner!" screen.
    • In the "fixed" version, when the opponent truck actually moves, he hopes to see "You're a lose" as the lose graphic.
  • When ranting that it actually got sold in stores:
    AVGN: It couldn't have been sold in stores! But apparently, it did. This is the box! It came in a box! And it was rated by the ESRB! Somebody from the ESRB looked at this game and gave it a rating. I know it's not their job to judge the quality of the game, but somebody looked at it and thought "Wow. This is shit. But, 'E.'"
  • The ending.
    AVGN: Well, there's one last thing to find out. How fast can you go in reverse. Let's push the limits. *Truck launches upwards to land in the ground* The truck's fucking the ground. *white points overlayed on the screen* That noise! That noise, how high can it go?! *the background is now showing white points extending, as if entering hyperspace* Light speed. *background changes once again* Ludicrous speed! *plaid background* We've gone to plaid! *background changes yet again, AVGN screams and the background switches back to hyperspace-like* Can't take anymore! We gotta stop! *releases down button, only to be thrown backwards with great force* OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT!
    • For some reason, blurred images of Darth Vader, Winnie the Pooh and a few other characters appear on screen when the Nerd enters hyperspace.
    • There are several reaction shots from his cat, as though it's thinking, "Oh, Lord, what did the human get into now?"
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     Desert Bus 
  • The Nerd, while playing the infamous driving minigame, goes to take a sip of his beer...only to stop himself and realize that he shouldn't, since he's "driving".
    • Just after this, he hangs an air freshener in the corner of the screen. It stays there for the majority of the review.
  • "Entertaining himself" by pressing B to open the bus door.
  • The Nerd's reaction to the Start button activating the bus's horn rather than pausing the game.
    Nerd: The manual, and yes, there is a manual, says "No, it's not an oversight. Does your life have a pause control?"
  • The Nerd's reaction to seeing that the Castlevania II Redaction added a hint about the red gem and the tornado he complained about in the pilot. He can't believe what he's seeing.

    The Adventures of Bayou Billy/The Punishernote  
  • "2 + 2 = Fuck You"
  • Pat tries to defend LJN by mentioning a good game they made (contrary to the Nerd's belief) called T&C Surf Designs, which featured a character named Kool Kat, which was essentially a cat wearing a tuxedo. The Nerd finally flips and yells "FUCK LJN AND FUCK TUXEDO CAT!", but then adds "Alright, Tuxedo Cat was pretty cool."
  • When Pat mentions the ET game, the Nerd seems visibly discomforted and asks that Pat doesn't "speak its name". He then retorts, "Don't make, like, a big production out of it." They then look at the camera and the Nerd begins to nod...
  • The Nerd's face placed on Bayou Billy's cover art.
  • Pat's face placed on The Punisher's cover art.
  • Pat's awkward dance to the in-game music. Even when the Nerd asks that he stops, he eventually finds himself jamming along.
  • When Pat asks why the Nerd isn't wearing gear like a hat or a vest to resemble Bayou Billy, the Nerd responds...
    Nerd: I tried!...I ordered it on eBay, it didn't come yet!
    • Pat then bursts into laughter...then he realizes the Nerd wasn't kidding.
  • After the Nerd comments on a set of heavily-built enemies throwing rocks around, Pat drops a cheesy pun.
    Pat: Boy, they sure rocked your world!
    • The Nerd then asks if Pat wants a knuckle sandwich, and then Pat nonchalantly asks, "Is it as good as pork roll?" You can practically see the Nerd trying not to laugh.
  • After Bayou Billy is killed by a crocodile, Pat adds "I guess he'll sea you later", then proceeds to go into an unnecessarily deep analysis about the pun.
    Nerd: Why did I invite you over?
  • When Pat attempts to play Bayou Billy, he suffers the same numerous deaths as the Nerd, but instead of swearing, he says "Fluff...fluff...FLUFFER NUTTER!"
  • The ending.
    Nerd: Alright, Bayou Billy. That's the game. See? I'd rather have a gator chew up my scrotum! It's a fucking piece of shit, it's—it's ass, it's—
    Pat: So you're saying it's below average?
    Nerd: ...Yeah, you could say that.

    Beetlejuice 

    Twelve Days of Shitsmas 
Tagin' Dragon
  • The Nerd's reaction to the "dragon" on the title screen.
    Nerd: Oh, I distinctly remember this one. That is one pathetic looking dragon. Looks sorta like a frog-pig hybrid? I don't know.
  • As it turned out, James actually rented this game as a child... and he only played it for a few minutes.
  • His comment on the game having a versus mode.
    Nerd: Yeah, next time you're thinking about getting some friends together to play some Super Smash Bros.? Nah. Tagin' Dragon man!
  • "You wish these dragons would do something awesome like breathe fire or fly, but no. All they do is chase each other around in circles like a bunch of monkeys."
ALF
  • The Nerd's description of the FBI agents as pedophiles
    Nerd: GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN, YOU FUCKING SICKO!
  • The Nerd's reaction to getting killed by a bike rider.
    Nerd: How? How? How did I die?
  • The Nerd concludes that the only replay value is to do this.
    (ALF is shown doing the half-squat as the FBI agent approaches him, grabbing at the air)
    Nerd: Yeah. Hey-hey, pervert. Hey, y-you want this, pervert, right-right? Ha-ha! You fucking, you dirty old man! You fucking sicko!
    (imitates ALF) Willie! HA! HA!

CrazyBus

  • The entirety of the review, especially his facial expressions upon first starting the game.
    • The title music adds the hilarity thousand times better.
  • The Nerd is so shocked by the gameplay that all he can do is chuckle to himself.
  • The moment when he randomly falls over on his side while playing.
  • When the Nerd describes the gameplay:
    Nerd:The only interactivity is moving the bus and honking the horn. It's as less of a video game as possible. Tiger Handheld Electronic Games were more in-depth than this. There's no goal, other than to see how high you can rack up the score. In other words, how long can you hold the D-Pad for. You like that game?! Well, you don't even need the game! Just the controller and a timer! It would be more fun to stare at a wall! I have a whole new appreciation for Desert Bus! Big Rigs is more exciting than this shit! This broke the shit scale! Th-this is a whole new higher level: first there's poop, then there's shit, and then there's... DEFECATION!
  • "Do you find any Venezuelan buses in Super Mario World? No. So you can't argue, this is the definitive Venezuelan bus game."
  • Towards the end of the video, the Nerd starts to exaggerate just how crazy the game really is:
    Nerd: CrazyBus man, don't forget it! Say it, one word, not Crazy Bus. It's CrazyBus, and it's fucking crazy! Woah, we're driving a bus here! It's fucking crazy! Oh my god, I can't take it! It's so fucking crazy! CrazyBus! CrazyBus! CrazyBus! Woah!

Ren & Stimpy Fire Dogs

  • The Nerd literally described the show as "Looney Tunes on crack". He also doesn't question the logic in the game he's reviewing (such as the fire department having a beaver in its equipment and the characters sliding up the fire poles).
    • The Nerd's annoyance with a dog in one of the Ren and Stimpy SNES games who just won't die.
    Nerd: Slappin' the dog, slappin' the dog... (slaps the dog TWENTY FIVE TIMES)
    • Can't forget the Nerd's final verdict of Ren & Stimpy Fire Dogs.
    Nerd: In the words of Mr. Horse, "No sir, I don't like it".

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends

  • In the previous Ren & Stimpy video, he gave a detailed explanation about the cartoon the game was based on. This is also true for many of the other videos he did about games based on cartoons, TV shows, or movies. This video, not so much.
    Nerd: Rocky and Bullwinkle on NES, based on the cartoon, um, the cartoon... about... a moose and a squirrel? ...Do I have to see everything?!
  • The Nerd playing as Bullwinkle at the beginning of the game:
    Nerd: "Eat this, bitch! You don't wanna fuck with a moose throwing bombs!"
  • The Nerd questioning why Bullwinkle's ability to go up stairs counts as a special ability, followed by this comparison:
    Nerd: "Princess Toadstool can float, Grant can climb walls, Dixie Kong can spin her hair, Bullwinkle can... go up stairs."

Mary-Kate and Ashley Get a Clue

  • The Nerd knew that he'd one day have to review a game based on the Olsen Twins, ever since he was playing Toxic Crusaders. He even plays a clip from said review of him saying that he might have to do it.
    • "Only Ashley can activate switches... WHICH ONE'S ASHLEY?!"

V.I.P. Starring Pamela Anderson

  • When the Nerd notices that the game looks like it's playing itself and is only waiting for some calls from you throughout the game to do something, he notes you could play along with him without the game at hand so long as you have a Playstation controller yourself...
    Nerd: Down, Circle... Up, Triangle... Right, Square... you enjoy that? You're playing V.I.P.
    • The transitions the Nerd does going from the action of the actual game with the rock soundtrack from it to the guy's actually doing while playing the game.
      V.I.P.: *Rock soundtrack music playing with various clips from the game.*
      Nerd: *monotonously* Down, right, square...
      V.I.P.: *Continued rock music with more clips from the game.*
      Nerd: *monotonously* Left, square, X...
      V.I.P.: *More rock music with clips from the game.*
      Nerd: *monotonously* Right, square, X...

Lethal Weapon

  • The last part of the review details how you 'change' characters by walking off-screen. Nerd gets sick of this and leaves much in the same way. He gets replaced by Mike Matei, who sighs and remarks, "I'm getting too old for this shit."
  • The Nerd's dead-on parody of the "They fuck you at the drive-thru" speech.

Porky's

  • The Nerd's laconic description of this video game adaptation.
    Nerd: "What an experience Peewee had. Can you imagine the story he has to tell? 'I was walking down the street, narrowly avoiding a speedboat, a submarine on wheels, a parade of naked Dr. Seuss characters, rabid pigs, dudes in cars, I fell into a pond where I swung around on a pole and built a ladder up to a girls' locker room shower where this weird blobby ghost tried to GRAB MY DICK, I DROPPED A BUNCH OF PYRO EQUIPMENT DOWN THE SAME HOLE THAT LEADS TO THE POND, BUT SOMEHOW ENDED UP ON A BUNCH OF SCAFFOLDING WHERE I WENT AND FINISHED IT ALL OFF WITH A BOOM!!!!!'"
  • The Nerd explaining who the protagonist of the game is.
    Nerd: The character you're playing as is Pee Wee, not Pee Wee Herman, but Pee Wee from Porky's, which doesn't make any sense anyway since Pee Wee's not the character who gets his dick grabbed... Not Pee Wee Herman, he can grab his own dick, but... what are we talking about here?

Mattel HyperScan

  • The Nerd constantly waiting for the system to load. (There's even a timer timing the loading process in real time. The end time is 1:02:23 - just over a minute.) This is enough time for him to look around his room, spotting things from previous episodes.
  • One of the Nerd's complaints is the inconsistent volume between the games. He is seen turning up the volume for a game that happened to be very quiet, and he then switches the game out for a Ben 10 game and is nearly deafened by the theme song.

Universal Studios Theme Parks Adventure

  • "They should have called the game "Universal Theme Park Janitor". Yeah, great idea, right up there with "Super Plumber Mario Toilet Cleaner"".
  • His description of the Jaws minigame:
    "It takes forever to aim and the shark moves way faster than you, so chances of hitting it are slim...you'd have as much luck trying to time jerking off onto a passing car."
  • The Nerd's fake ad for Universal Studios Theme Park:
    Nerd: "Visit Universal Studios Theme Park! Experience the thrill! Ride the movies! Pick up fucking trash! The only theme park on Earth where you get to clean up after everybody else. Nothing gets you closer to the movies than wearing funny hats and collecting stamps. Book your trip now! But seriously, the park's dirty. We need someone to clean it."
    • Adding to it is at the end where it says under the logo: "Please apply for janitor. Pick up our trash."
  • At the end, the Nerd decides to take a peek at his last present... and sees that all-too familiar rainbow.

LJN Video Art

  • The Nerd decrees the "console" as the worst thing LJN have ever done, and says that, "the only thing worse would be to play it on the Roll 'N Rocker". Which he proceeds to do at the end of the video. Even better, he trips and falls as he plays it, causing him to give it the finger and kick it away.
  • "Okay. Let's cut the shit." *cut to a clip of the Nerd cutting a chocolate Yule log cake in half*
  • After stating how bad the controls are, the Nerd decides to look at the family on the box.
    Nerd: Look at the family on the box. What could they possibly be so overjoyed about? *imitating the boy with the controller* "Look, look, Mom, yay, I drew a fucking line!"
  • The Nerd analyzes the styrofoam that came with the "console" and finds it more interesting than the "console" itself.
  • The Nerd sarcastically proposing the idea that this console has the greatest game music of all time, and imagines a scenario in which he mentions the console in a conversation on the topic, and then imitates its perpetual static noise.
  • After the Nerd mutes the game, turning off the static:
    Nerd: Put on some Witchfinder General, and while you're at it, put in a different fucking game!
  • The Nerd's three consecutive attempts at trying to draw a circle and failing, losing his temper when he ends up drawing a perfectly straight rectangle on the third try.

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