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Funny / The Angry Video Game Nerd Season Four

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    Atari Jaguar 
  • The Nerd describing the "Bit Wars" and how no one really knew what bits were even then.
    Kid: I wanna Super Nintendo for Christmas!
    Dad: Don't you already have a Nintendo?
    Kid: Yeah, but this one's 16-bit!
    Dad: What's that?
    Kid: (beat) ...I dunno...
  • The Nerd's annoyance at the blood code in Kasumi Ninja:
    AVGN: The game itself is pretty much a Mortal Kombat clone with every hit making pools of blood fall down, and even has death moves. But it's also one of those games that wimps out by censoring the violence. You have to put in a parental password just to turn the blood on. Basically, it's just a 6-digit code. But what's the chance of kids not figuring out the code before their parents do? But once it's unlocked, you still need to set the level of blood. So in case you want there to be a little bit of blood, but not too much? Like, who the fuck cares? Just turn the Goddamn blood on!
  • He describes Attack Of The Mutant Penguins as the weirdest game he's ever played.
    "I mean it's not bad if you're drunk or high or something, but how'd they come up with this shit?! I got it, I can come up with a game like this, how about...you're a shark, and you gotta shake palm trees 'til trains fall down, and you put the trains in an apple, and then turkeys come and eat the apples, and then...the turkeys go up waterfalls, and to get them down you have to collect monkey butts, so you drop the monkey butts on power lines, and then..."
    [He trails off and mimes his head exploding from the sheer insanity of it all]
  • The floating head from Cybermorph comes out of the TV and starts taunting him with "Where did YOU learn to fly? Where did YOU learn to fly?" until he blasts her with his Super Scope and quips, "Where'd YOU learn to be an asshole!"
  • The entire sequence where the Jaguar cube ends up attacking the Nerd, which eventually turns into the best cat chasing a laser pointer video ever produced.
  • "We played some good games, we played some bad games, and overall... eh. Makes me wanna puke. Like a cat: (hacks and mimes throwing up, then cleaning his face with his paw)"
  • The brilliant Brick Joke on the shape of the Jaguar with the Jaguar CD attached. The Nerd states that it looks like a toilet. Then, at the end, he announces "I've gotta take a shit"...and then he nonchalantly opens up the Jaguar CD and takes a dump in it. Best bit? His cat looks at him for a moment all what? Then it bolts.
  • The Nerd can't review the Jaguar CD because the system doesn't even work. Cue the report from Richard (who made an NES inside of a toaster, calling it the "Nintoaster", and later made another one to give to the Nerd) when he tried (and failed) to fix it.
    Aah, yes, the Atari Jaguar CD... What a steaming pile of fucking shit that was... I wanna make sure there's nothing wrong with the console itself first just to rule it out. So I plug in a game, push the power button, the Jaguar logo comes careening towards me in the foreground, and after a particularly hilarious fucking startup sequence, I'm playing Tempest 2000. Woooaaah. So now I know there's nothing wrong with the console itself. Time to move on to the CD unit. So I plug it in, hook up the additional 47 cables that came with it, push the power button, the logo comes careening towards me in the foreground, snarrls, and... The red screen of death, indicating a connection problem. So, the first thing I did was deep clean every single contact point on both the console and the CD unit. I turned it on; red screen. Then I went back and made physical adjustments to every contact point in both the console and CD unit so they'd make a more solid connection. Turned it on; red screen. Finally, I just said "fuck it" and directly wired the two sons-of-a-bitches together, completely bypassing any and all cartridge ports and ruling out the remote chance of there ever being any kind of connection issue between the two systems. I turned it on and, guess what? Red screen! So at this point I pretty much just gave up and shipped everything back to him, along with a Pong machine, which pretty much said "I'm sorry man. This thing is just too shitty to work on." I think, between the flaming-fuck-you-middle-finger-red screens, and getting snarrled at at the same time, this machine has become self-aware and does not want to be repaired. That is my diagnosis, Richard out.
    • Before that, the AVGN trying to fit the unit in a regular envelope with the most basic postage details ever.
  • His description of the Jaguar CD:
    Nerd: Would you believe that a 30-year-old Pong console attached to a cell phone adapter would work, but a "cutting-edge", snarling Jaguar doesn't? There's something wrong here. And you know what? I blew $250 on this thing. So, you know what I did?.... Bought another one. Yeah, and guess what? It doesn't work either! So, that's about $450 total I blew on two dead Jaguars. And these things are rare! So when the only two that I can manage to get my hands on just don't work, that leads me to believe that these things most definitely are self-aware! They don't wanna work! You can't make 'em! They just refuse to be reviewed! And I've never had that happen.
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    Metal Gear 
  • After saying the game is terrible:
    Nerd: Now if you want to rip me a new asshole, that's fine. I have, like, twelve. Yeah, I've got a Charlie Brown ghost ass.
    • Immediately afterwards:
    Nerd: And it's not just me [that thinks that the NES version of Metal Gear sucks]. Hideo Kojima himself said that it slurps anal grease through a warthog's dickhole! Well, he didn't say it like that..."

    Magnavox Odyssey 
  • The Nerd controlling the flashing sprites in a fashion that looks like taking a dump.
  • The Nerd notes that the Odyssey doesn't keep score:
    AVGN: It's a fucking free-for-all!
  • The Nerd's reaction to the lightgun for the Odyssey:
    AVGN: Well, the Odyssey doesn't fuck around! I mean, this is what you call a gun! I mean look at it, it's a gun! It's a fucking rifle! I mean, they could never get away with this nowadays! (points it towards the camera) You could never, ever... It ju-it just blows my mind that there could exist a video game console that has a gun like this!

    X Men 
  • His opening joke:
    AVGN: I remember one time in school, I had an X-Men coloring book, and the teacher looked over and said, "Hmm. X-Men huh? There's women in there too, aren't there? That's kinda sexist." And I said, "Well, what's wrong with being sexy?" Nah, I didn't say that.
  • Before popping in The Uncanny X-Men:
    AVGN: I'm about to do the unthinkable: (drinks whiskey from a flask) I'm about to stick this abomination in my Nintendo. Rather stick your dick in a piranha's mouth!
  • While playing Wolverine, his observation that one of the power-ups looks like a beer bottle. This leads him to say: "It's an X-Men Barbecue: Burgers and beer."
  • AVGN: Don't mean to burst your bubble, huh-huh!

    The Terminator 
  • The Nerd comments that the only way to get extra lives is to repeatedly shoot the endlessly spawning bad guys until you get a lot of points. Rather than do it manually, he grabs a wrench and fastens it to the shoot button. He proudly declares: "You don't gotta do a damn thing!... I'll be back." When he returns, he's happy to see he has six lives, so he's going to bed and let the game rack up even more 1-ups.
    • The Nerd's reaction to the maximum lives cap.
    "Alright I'm back, all refreshed ready to play some more Terminator with all new extra lives. All 6 of them...6? Only 6!? OK, I got to be honest, it's only one digit; I didn't expect more than 9, but why a random number like 6!? That means that some fucked-up masochist actually programmed it that way and made the decision 'Hmmm, well let's see. Anything more than 6, that's too much.' Fucking asshole!"
  • His reaction to the first level of the SNES Terminator going for a really long time, even after what seems like the level boss:
    Nerd: What. Are you fucking kidding me? Holy mother and fucking God shit holy mackerel gosh damn, how is it not over yet?! How long could this first level possibly go? Unless maybe the whole game is like this. I just can't fucking believe it! So, I died, like anybody would. Game Over. First level goes on forever. Can't beat it. End of story. The game's impossible.
    • What's really funny about this rant is he doesn't sound angry necessarily. He sounds more tired and defeated.
  • Comparing the rocking Sega CD soundtrack to the abysmal NES "soundtrack".

    Terminator 2: Judgment Day 
  • A few bits on Terminator 2 SNES:
    Nerd: What is that good for? It's like he's a marionette, or he's being hanged by an invisible rope! Like, holy Lord, that is some fuck right there! Look at him go! Wooo wooo! (chuckling) Oh, God. I can't see the reasoning behind it. You can't make something that funny by accident. They took someone as badass as the Terminator and made him into a mockery. It's a fucking joke! And I'm not just doing this to be funny; it's because of how slow he walks. The only way to go faster is to hop around like a fucking idiot!
    • When driving the motorcycle, he crashes into a truck:
    Nerd: Oh, man, a head on collision with a truck and a motorcycle, and the truck explodes!
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    Transformers 
  • His detailed simile about the terrible hit detection in Transformers: Convoy no Nazo.
    "Hitting your mark is like trying to piss into a shot glass that's spinning on a record player, that's strapped to a running cheetah's back, while you're riding a unicycle on a tightrope blindfolded."

    Mario Is Missing 
  • The Nerd's reaction to King Kong appearing in Mario Is Missing.
    Nerd: What's this say? "Koopas seem to have gotten clean away with King Kong?" Are you telling me you're supposed to return King Kong to the Empire State Building?! This blows my mind on so many levels! First of all, how did the Koopas capture King Kong? Second, why is New York City concerned that King Kong was stolen from the Empire State Building? Remember when the planes were trying to shoot him down? Isn't it pretty clear they want Kong off the building? Third, if this is supposed to be an educational game teaching us things that belong to New York City, WHY IN THE HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK DID THEY CHOOSE A GIANT APE THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST?!! Fourth... the bag. OK, King Kong is, like, 50 feet tall or something, but in this game they made him out to be, like, 1500 feet. How big is he exactly? Well, if bigger than the Empire State Building isn't a good enough analogy, then let's just say, A LOT BIGGER THAN THAT FUCKING BAG! And fifth, I can't grasp the concept that King Kong is in a Mario game, the same character that was a direct inspiration for Donkey Kong who also appeared in games with the Mario character. Are we running into some kind of paradox here or what?
  • The Help Desk Lady.
    Nerd: There's sort of like a help desk where you're supposed to return the object or the landmark or whatever, but the lady at the window won't talk to you unless you call Yoshi to come and give you an extra boost. Okay, so are you telling me that the reason that stupid bitch won't talk to you at first is because Luigi is too short to reach the window? For fuck's sake, he can jump higher than the shittin' thing! How stupid do they think we are?! "Use Yoshi to reach the help desk" well how about "Use my greasy Italian plumber cock to whack you across the fucking face?!"

    Plumbers Don't Wear Ties 
  • The. Entire. Video. His reaction to the upside-down fucking chicken mask is probably the absolute pinnacle of his entire videography.
  • "Oh, so is he a plumber? Well, the game's called Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, so I guess it makes sense. He's a plumber and I don't see him wearing a tie." *screen shows John wearing a tie while holding a plunger* "What the fuck?! You can't even trust the damn title!"
    • This moment:
    Narrator Number 2: Finally got rid of that obnoxious character. And that horrible music!
    AVGN: No kidding! At least the game's self aware.
  • His rant at the end of the video.
    Nerd: "Yeah, you know what? Give me somethin' different. Give me a different fuckin' game! This is one of the worst things I have ever seen in my life. On the box, it says 'Plays like a game...but feels like a movie!' Well, that's horseshit! It does not play like a game, and it certainly does not feel like a movie. It's a slideshow that verges on being softcore porn. But it isn't that either! It's like some kind of experimental art project. If I just made a bunch of shit and threw all kinds of filters on it, that would be the same as this miserable pile of fuck. It would also be the same to go take a shit on a piece of toast on top of a roof while wearing a fish mask singing 'I'm Too Sexy.'"
    • Complete with the crazy filtering found in the game's beginning, as well as pictures of random bears including a panda.
  • When John and Jane first meet:
    John: Wow... It's 8 o'clock and I'm seein' a 10! What I wouldn't give to do her plumbing...
    AVGN: Yeah, OK.
    (A few seconds pass with John and Jane just staring at each other)
    AVGN: OK.
    (A few more seconds pass with John and Jane STILL staring at each other)
    AVGN: O-Kay?
    (John and Jane are STILL staring at each other)
    AVGN: What the fuck...
  • When the narrator pops up again.
    Narrator: Well, sport? You think you can handle this choice without getting the lowest score in the history of this game?
    AVGN: What, there's somebody else who played this shit?
  • His rant on the title screen:
    AVGN: You can't be serious. It looks like a kindergarten student did this in Microsoft Paint. And listen to the stock music. *music plays* This has to be the worst title screen I've ever seen.
  • This scene:
    AVGN: We haven't even gone through the credits, and this game is already a pile of monkey fuck. *car noise plays, then a face-packed aged woman appears* Okay... what's this? *phone rings while screen fades away* What's going on?
  • As well as this scene:
    Narrator: Note, You must be 18 Years or over in order to take a look at this decision.
    AVGN: "You gotta be 18? On the box it says 17! This is before the rating system, but what kinda fucked up rating is this? The Box says 17, but for this one part, you gotta be 18."
  • This scene:
    John's Mother: It's your mother, now get your ass outta bed! I know you're there, John! John? I said get up, get up, John!
    AVGN: "Get outta bed, Jooohn. Get outta beeeed!" Yeah, great concept. Every game should begin with two minutes of some guy's mom trying to get him out of bed.
    • And then this scene:
      John's Mother: Stop smartmouthing with me, young man! Why is it I haven't seen you with any woman? Why is that, John? Don't you like women anymore? *shocked* John, are you gay?
      AVGN: (incredulous) What?!
  • During the interview:
    Thresher: You know, we get at least 200 qualified applicants for every position here. It's those people who do that little extra thing; they're the ones who get head- I mean, get ahead.
    AVGN: Oh, what a bad joke. It doesn't even have any relevance now, he just told her to take off her clothes! He might as well say straight out "suck my cock"!
  • The Nerd dubs in the boss's voice when Jane strips for him:
    Nerd: (as the boss) Wow, I had no idea she'd actually do it!
  • The Nerd's reaction to hearing dogs clap after the narrator guns down the takeover artist.
    AVGN: Are there dogs applauding? I'm not imagining that, am I? There's dogs clapping! I didn't even know dogs were fucking watching!
  • AVGN's face when Jane strips for Thresher, whips him and stands above him rodeo-style, all in that order. It's one of the most priceless expressions he's ever made.
    AVGN: What kind of fucked up game is this?!

    Bugs Bunny's Crazy Castle 
  • Some of the ways Bugs gets payback for the Nerd's abuse two years before.
    Nerd: Oh, come on, I thought toons like to get beat up.
    Bugs Bunny: We do, doc. But you know what we don't like? GETTING SHIT ON THE FUCKIN' FACE!!!
    • Bugs' turds are obviously chocolate donut holes, which resemble rabbit pellets.
  • The Duck Season, Rabbit Season gag when the Nerd refuses to play the sequel, complete with "Sucker" superimposed as he realizes his mistake.
  • The scene in which the Guitar Guy joins in the fight, resulting in the three of them completely missing their targets and punching each other.
  • James' outtakes for the review, in which he, and everybody around him, simply cannot stop laughing at the lines that he himself wrote. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome when he finally says the line in one take at the end.
    "Alright. That's it. I'm done with this game. I'd rather press my face against a hippopotamus's butt while its muck spreads! That's when a hippo takes a shit: rather than allowing the shit to drop from its anus, it presses its tail against its ass crack, waving it back and forth, shredding the shit all over the place! That's as much fun as this game is, like putting a turd in a fan or a band saw. You just don't do it!"
    • Bonus points for one of James's friends trying to say that line in his British accent.
  • Then there's just the overall implication that being exposed to the Nerd and his abuse has driven a beloved American icon violently insane with rage.

    Super Pitfall! 
  • "Let's play charades. Who am I?" *mimics Harry's walk and bizarre death animation*
  • Annoyed by the death-trap at the start of the game, the Nerd begins listing ways to make it even worse
    The Nerd: "Nice. Fuckin' beautiful. The first ladder you see drops you into a pit where you get killed by a bird or a bat, whatever it is. And even if it wasn't there, I'd fall in the spikes. So it's basically death insurance. Let's put every kind of obstacle we can possibly think of in the very beginning of the game. Y'know, I'm disappointed. Couldn't there have been lava on top of the spikes, with fire-sharks swimming in it? Couldn't there be more spikes coming from the sides, ready to close in and squash me while stabbing at the same time? How 'bout some laser cannons, and upside-down volcanoes? You wanna be even more efficient? Why even have the ladder? Why not just start the game falling down the pit? *Cue all the previous mentioned appearing in an elaborate Photoshopped image* Fuckin' assholes!"
  • The Nerd is baffled by Harry's death animation (where Harry flips out), and offers a theory:
    AVGN: My only theory of what's going on here is that there's an Angel and a Devil waitin' to take him to either Heaven or Hell. It's first-come, first-serve, and they both want him REAL BAD, so they're constantly there waiting for him to die. And then as soon as he dies, they both grab his arms, fighting over his body.
    • Later, the Nerd encounters a glitch where Harry doesn't die right away; he's frozen and a few seconds later, the usual death animation plays. He theorizes that the devil and angel were busy looking for him that time.
  • "Playing this game is like driving an old beat-up car. You're always afraid it's gonna break down."
  • "THERE'S A WARP ZONE HIDDEN IN A BIRD!"
  • The Nerd names each of Pitfall Harry's different-colored glitch-clones "Pitfall Larry" and "Pitfall Gary".
  • The Nerd wonders why he has to collect keys shaped like playing card suits:
    "I found the princessnote ...does he need to play poker with her or something?"
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    Godzilla 
  • When the Nerd finds out what the Game Boy Godzilla game actually looks like in gameplay after the promising opening credits...
  • After spending the entire video complaining about the Godzilla games he played as a kid, he gets to play a trio of XBox and PS2 games. His expressions are just priceless, not to mention his unstoppable rage and heartfelt "FUCK!!" after he sees how much better the modern games are than the ones he grew up with. Cue the Nerd knocking down SNES games Godzilla-style as the scream goes on in the background, swearing up a storm, and inventing a new swear that's bleeped out.
    • For those of you interested, here's a video of the aforementioned "new swear word" invention... UNCENSORED.
      Nerd: Why couldn't I have those games when I was a kid!? Goddammit, I was born too fucking early! Instead I had to grow up with these miserable pieces of shit-fucking anal jugs! These games suck Baragon's sweaty ball sack! I'd rather get an electric shock from sucking Mechagodzilla's mechanical wiener! These games are SHIT drizzling out of the Smog Monster's rancid putrid A-hole! And then being swallowed and barfed up by Angarus while I lay on spikes getting Gigan's buzzsaw up my ass WHILE DESUTOROYAH DUMPS HIS DIABOLICAL DIARRHEA ALL OVER MY FACE! Man, it's just a bunch of fuck, it's a pile of cunt, fuck, shit, fuck... cunt... fuck... Goddammit! I just said "fuck" from the bottom of my heart and I said every curse that there is. There's nothing left, so you know what? Somebody's gotta invent a new curse word. I think I got it. This game, THESE FUCKING GAMES ARE... SCUNT! Oh yeah! It's that bad!

    Wayne's World 
  • The various Wayne's World film clips to accompany the Nerd's comments:
    • "And could you guess the boss in this level? Would you expect anything different than...a giant donut?" (Wayne laughs sarcastically)
    • "The enemies are the most cliche you could possibly think of. When would Wayne and Garth ever be fighting spiders and ninjas? Who cares, right? As long as the game says Wayne's World, kids will want it!" ("Kids know dick.")
    • "Well, I can't beat the first level, so I'm done with this game!......well, there is a code." ("I did not realize that. Russell, did you realize that?" "No, I did not realize that.")
    • "Every time he gets hit, he says "NOT". That doesn't make any sense. What is he saying "not" to? Usually, the word "not" follows a sarcastic statement. It's like explaining it to Borat!" ("This suit, is noooooottt black." "No no, "not" has to be the end." "This suit is blacknot.")

    Castlevania 
  • His thoughts on "fuckness":
    "What in the unholy name of ass is this fuckness?! Oh wait, that's not a word? Well, it should be."
  • The end credits scene, with it's horrible attempt at No Celebrities Were Harmed.
    • Bonus points for the fact that the Nerd is clearly smirking when he talks about how unfunny this is.
  • At the end of Part I, he talks about reviewing Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse, a certain box pops up: "What a horrible night to have a curse."
    (Castlevania II Night Music starts playing)
    Nerd: Not that one. Next on our list is Castlevania III, which in many ways is the true follow-up-
    (Castlevania II Night Music starts playing)
    Nerd: No, I already reviewed that game! So anyway-
    (Castlevania II Night Music starts playing)
    Nerd: No.
    (Castlevania II Night Music starts playing)
    Nerd: Stop.
    (Castlevania II Night Music starts playing)
    Nerd: Stop!
    (Castlevania II Night Music starts playing)
    Nerd: STOP!
  • This bit in his Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse review:
    Nerd: How 'bout the floor? Let's make the floor a death trap too! Okay, that's fine, if you wanna play shit like that, but how in the holy goddamn mother shit fucking Christ of cunt fuck am I supposed to attack the enemy when the fucking floor's falling down! Did the game developers expect you to be some kinda miracle multitasker?!
  • From the outtakes at the end of the Part 2 video:
    Nerd: This game is like playing shit tennis with an orangutan while having a hyena's head up your ass! (Beat) ...Or your head up its ass! And... (cracks up)
  • Most likely unintentional, but saying Carrie in Castlevania 64 was like a school girl, with the game footage where Carrie is saying "Don't treat me like a child."
  • Finding out that Bram Stoker's Dracula novel was canon with the games:
    "It's like taking two cannons and putting them together!"
    • Complete with the image of two cannons together and launching at the same time.
  • From his review of Symphony of the Night:
    "What are these, skeletons shooting lasers out their cocks?"
  • At the file select screen, in a completely nonchalant tone:
    "Analbag, that's me."
  • When discussing Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow:
    AVGN: Dracula's castle emerges from a solar eclipse in Japan. I thought that Japan had enough trouble with Godzilla stomping around, now they have Dracula, too?

    Little Red Hood 
  • Little Red Riding Hood's story, according to this game:
    AVGN: You're familiar with the story, right? It goes something like this: Once upon a time, there was a girl named Little Red Riding Hood. She liked to jump in the air and whistle out her vagina. She kicked at trees until Big Bird's ballsack would appear. What? That's not the story? Oh, well excuse me, cause this isn't Little Red Riding Hood. This is Little Red Hood.
  • The Nerd mentions that the only way to play this (unlicensed) game on an original NES is to attach a licensed cartridge to it. The game doesn't need this to run in toploader, but he decides it "looks lonely", and proceeds to stack several other things on top like a Game Genie, a game converter, and a Famicom game.
  • The Nerd's reaction to Level 8:
    Nerd: ...In this stage, the key doesn't appear until you buy an invincibility potion and three slingshots. (beat) HOW WOULD ANYBODY KNOW TO DO THAT?!
  • After summarizing the extremely weird gameplay mechanics and story elements:
    Nerd: The only thing you might be wondering now is, "What on earth does this have to do with the story of Little Red Riding Hood?" Well, I'll tell you: absolutely fucking nothing.
  • The reference to Ghostbusters (1984) when the Nerd gets angry at the key disappearing:
    Nerd: I feel like a guinea pig in an experiment where they're testing the effects of negative reinforcement, "let's see what happens if we take the key away..." It's twenty years late, but whoever you are, and if you wanna know what the effect is, I'll tell you the effect: IT'S FUCKING PISSING ME OFF!
  • "The music never changes. It's the same frothy sound of crackling ass!" *cue regular 8-bit music*
  • The ending is particularly hilarious. The Nerd gets so frustrated with the game that he actually wants to see a terrible ending to the game. And sure enough, he gets one:
    Nerd: Oh, my dear Little Red Hood, thank you for your coming. (beat, he drops his controller on the ground) You did not disappoint. (takes a sip of his Rolling Rock)

    Winter Games 
  • The Nerd's greeting at the beginning:
    Nerd: Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy... everybody, happy holidays! And if you have a problem with "Happy holidays", then happy shut-the-fuck-up.
  • When he comments on the name problems:
    "The name entry screen is a disaster. You can't move the cursor up or down. It only goes left and right. Isn't that fun?! Not to mention, they only let you spell four-letter words, which I could think of plenty, but how many names would have less than four letters? If you tried to add a fifth letter, it goes back and replaces the first letter, then you gotta figure out how to start over. When it reaches the last letter, why couldn't it just stop?! The simplest thing to do is to type in all A's, then go left once to get to the end button. Because, why put in a name anyway? It's not like the game is gonna save it. But if it did, I guarantee most of the high scores will belong to 'AAAA.' The point is, how hard is it to program something as simple as a name entry screen? If they can't even get that right, then WOAH! Wait 'til you see the game!"
  • The Nerd is dumbfounded when he finds out one of the events is called "Hot Dog Aerials". Then he wonders where the title came from and has an Imagine Spot of a Hot Dog flying and then a dog on fire flying over, the Nerd then just shrugs in confusion.
  • The obnoxious "end of event" music.
    Nerd: Isn't that the most beautiful, radiant sound that has ever been blessed upon your soul? Its exuberant tonality harmoniously blends the dying squeals of electronic goats, with the melodic rapture of diarrhea bubbling from a coyote's crap-hole.
  • At the end, the Nerd disposes of the cartridge by doing everything the warning label says not to: shoves it in his oven and freezer, runs water over it, pours alcohol into the component side, smashes it with a hammer, throws it to the floor, and takes it apart. As a final coup de grace, he burns it in his fireplace like a yule log.
    "BURN, MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!"
  • "Who programmed this game? Maybe it was Fred Fuchs!"
  • When ranting about the game's terrible controls, he imagines that whenever other fictional characters are depicted playing video games and doing nothing but Button Mashing (such as the scene in The Wizard with Beau Bridges and Christian Slater's characters playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), they're actually playing Winter Games.
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