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- The visual to go along with this gag:Nerd: You know what would be really awesome? If Davey woke up here and had the teacher's decapitated head in his hands. Yeah.
- The intro narration:AVGN: Starts out Davey's in school and a bully steals his pencil. So he's gotta get his pencil back. Man, that's some epic storyline right there.
AVGN: Why does he care so much about a fucking pencil? Was he planning to take it home after school, and...shove it up his ass or something?
- Later on, Davey gets to a large knight named Lumper, and the lance he gets rewarded with is...actually the pencil Davey got taken from him at the beginning. He was daydreaming.
- The sheriff AVGN plays against, he says that "he tries aiming over his dick nose."
- You can hear the Nerd laugh while expressing disgust at the vultures dropping "exploding bloody diarrhea".
- This, where he is referring to a Ms. Exposition.AVGN: "The cyclops is not truly dead until his eye is pierced." Okay, let's try it out. (beating the cyclops) Alright, he's dead. I didn't really aim at his eye, so I don't really know what she was telling me about. Stupid lying bitch.
- "Then you get a sword, but it's a dream, so when [Davey] wakes up it's a ruler he's holding. Why is he so excited about a ruler? Does he wanna measure his turds?"
- Later, when he refers to what the teacher tells Davey: "'Davey, what are you doing? You're going to see the principal for this.' Umm...for what? For measuring his turds in class?"
- This. Just...this.AVGN: (sits still for a while) Oh, I'm sorry. I was daydreaming about playing a better fucking game!
- The Nerd's explanation regarding the "Who shot first?" debate: neither did, and Luke Skywalker crashed his landspeeder right into Greedo right after Han Solo said "Over my dead body!"
- When the light speeder enters the bar, James added an actual crash sound effect, and a wookiee cry.
- The Nerd's face when he sees Darth Vader turn into a scorpion in the only Japanese Star Wars game on the Famicom is probably the funniest thing ever.AVGN: Did Darth Vader say to Luke "I am your father and I am also a fucking scorpion"?
- "That doesn't even happen in the special edition!"
- His reaction to the relatively pointless tidbit in the opening moments of Empire Strikes Back NES, where Obi-Wan Kenobi points out "The Lightsaber is the weapon of the Jedi"."Yeah, thanks for telling me that. While you're at it, why don't you tell me something like 'Cows go MOO?!'"
- "And what's this? The program engineer shows his face? I wish it was Fred Fuchs!"
- "Luke, choose the force." "Get it? Instead of "use the force", it's "choose the force". That's clever."
- How about the end? As he's listing off a bunch of Star Wars games (He soon just lists a bunch of made-up names that get more and more bizarre as he goes on), what is most likely one of the funniest Big Lipped Alligator Moments ever occurs. A buffalo walks by his window, backs up, and takes a diarrhea shit that blasts through his window. The Nerd's reaction to it is priceless.Nerd: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOOOOD! A FUCKING BUFFALO JUST TOOK A FUCKING SHIT THROUGH MY FUCKING WINDOW! Oh my fucking God! There's fucking shit and glass all over the place! Where the fuck did that fucking come from!?! Oh my God! I gotta clean all this shit up! What the fuck, man?!
- His thinking-out-loud speculation of the Death Star being a giant disco ball preceded by a giant dance floor in the middle of space and threatening to bring back disco is pretty darn funny.
- His idea for the name? "Disco Fuck Yourself."
- After the Nerd complains about the bosses having so much health in Super Empire Strikes Back, the Giant Wampa's health bar stretches beyond the television screen, followed by the Nerd looking in shock.
- "Sometimes the action is so intense, it's like blast processing. (footage of Chewie running and jumping around really fast) Oh no, Chewie's goin' nuts! Chewie's goin' nuts!"
- The Nerd playing Gyromite, with R.O.B. being the human player and the Nerd being the robot.
Nerd: ...okay, cool, a robot. (hands R.O.B. a controller) Here.
- Upon first meeting R.O.B., who volunteers to play Gyromite with the Nerd:
R.O.B.: Error: does not compute. Requires adaptive device.
Nerd: It's a controller, you play it!
R.O.B.: I do not have thumbs. You moron.
Nerd: Alright, here's your damn gyro.
- When R.O.B. says that he requires a gyro to play, The Nerd makes him an actual gyro sandwich.
R.O.B.: You idiot. That is not a gyro.
Nerd: I know, I tried! What, do you want me to go to fucking Greece?
Nerd: You ready now, R.O.B.? You happy? You got enough shit to work with?!
- And here is this gem:
Nerd: "Affirmative", my ass! *completely calm* Let's play.
- "Oh, here comes a Smick! *Professor Hector dies again* Fucking Smick's a dick!"
- The Nerd making an NES controller that only plays Gyromite by sawing two NES controllers in half and stitching them together so that one half has the D-pad and Start/Select, and the other half has A and B.
- Calling R.O.B. the "robo-fuckazoid piece of shit" and "cybernetic shit-sucker".
- The Nerd's face as he flies into battle with R.O.B. Also doubles as a Moment of Awesome when he curbstomps the robot.
- When reviewing the Jaws NES game, he parodies a line from the film:Nerd: We're gonna need a bigger ass, to shit out this fucking turd!
Nerd: You can get a submarine, which always seems to happen as a surprise. It's one of those tiny orange submarines. Yeah, you know, the kind that are smaller than people and have an unlimited supply of torpedoes?
- When discussing the power-ups:
- When he's digging through his box and pulls out E.T. for the Atari 2600. He throws it on the ground with a horrified expression on his face, and shudders.
- His reaction to the briefing screens in Hook for the NES:AVGN: Isn't that fun? Trying to read text with a fairy flying in the way? Get the fuck out of the way, Tinkerbell! All I can read is, "By collecting food, Thud Butt has explosive results..." What?!
- As the Nerd checks through his box of Spielberg games:AVGN: Super Schindler's List 3D?! Nah, just kidding, it's Jurassic Park. Hold onto your butts.
- When playing the NES version of Jurassic Park:AVGN: And, what's the big deal with collecting eggs? Is he trying to make a giant omelette? I bet the ending of this game is Egghead from Batman saying, "Eggcelent!"
- Ranting about how in the SNES Jurassic Park 2: The Chaos Continues game, the designers put a foreground bush in front of an arrow. "THEY COVERED THE ARROW WITH A BUSH! What a total fuck-up."
- Noting how ironic it was that a floppy disk in the 3D0 Jurassic Park game had "DUMP" written on it.
- When playing the driving stage in the 3D0 Jurassic Park, he notices that there are no hands on the steering wheel.AVGN: Are you a ghost? Why would a T-Rex be chasing a ghost? There'd be no meat to eat. I guess the hand could be like on the bottom part of the wheel, y'know, or like maybe driving with the knee or something? But that's some pretty casual driving for somebody who's being chased by a fucking T-Rex. I could see it like, (mimes being on the phone while driving and steering with one hand) "Hey, I'm stopping at Dunkin Donuts. You want me to pick you up some coffee? Oh, what's that? Oh, it's just some fucking T-Rex behind me. Yeah, what an asshole."
- The highlight was his completely dumbfounded reaction to the Nedry character from the 3D0 Jurassic Park game, wearing a tutu and angel wings with overalls in one icon.
- His closing rant on the 3D0 version of Jurassic Park:AVGN: Jurassic Park on 3D0 is a complete mockery, man! Does it suck? You bet jur ass-ic sucks! In the words of Ian Malcolm, that is one big pile of shit.
- Parodying Malcolm's speech from the first movie:AVGN: The problem with all these games is that the power to make them doesn't require any discipline. They took the movie, without any responsibility, they stood on the shoulders of Steven Spielberg and Michael Crichton to accomplish something as fast as they could, and before they even knew what they had, they patented it, they packaged it, they slapped it on a plastic game cartridge or CD, and they sold it.
- When playing the Barbie game for the NES, AVGN sees so much balls in the game that he thinks the real meaning of this game was that Barbie was obsessed with Ken's balls.
- He talks about avoiding a Cowboy BeBop at His Computer moment from the Street Fighter 2010 review. He originally described the final boss as looking like "Grimace from Sesame Street."
- "I bet the game designers were smoking seven different herbs."
- The names he gives for each of the the major flaws he finds with the game:
- Not being able to backtrack once the screen has scrolled a short distance? That's "One-Way Bullshit".
- Kid Kool being Too Fast to Stop? "Two-Gear Diarrhea".
- Awkward Jump Physics? "Jump Fuckness".
- Being forced to skip across water? "Topside Aquatic Ass".
- Momentum-breaking transitions between vertical layers of the screen during jumps? "Air Suspension Shit Lifts".
- Invisible Blocks placed seemingly at random and designed to impede progress? "Invis-O-Bitches".
- Taking blind jumps, compounded with the sudden vertical screen transitions? "Free-Falling Fuckballs".
- Dr. Claw's Dump-and-Pump.
- At the end, the Nerd throws the cartridge over his shoulder, and it lands in a metal trash bin. When he hears it, he looks back and then at the camera in surprise, as if James himself didn't actually intend for it to land there.
- This exchange:AVGN: Hey, Pat, you NES Punk. This is the Nerd.Pat: Nerd?! I don't think I know any Nerd.AVGN: The fuckin' Nerd.Pat: Ohhhh, that Nerd!
- During the phone conversation, the Nerd saying he wants to look at Pat's NES World Championships cart and give it the Nerd Seal of Approval.Pat: What is that? Like, you'll take a dump on it?
AVGN: No, that would be the Nerd Seal of Disapproval.
- When Pat accidentally comes across the gold NES World Championships cart and hides it before James can see it:AVGN: (shocked expression) What was that game you just had?
Pat: Oh, ha ha. That was just The Legend of Zelda.
AVGN: "Legend of", my ass!
- Pat's sarcastic comments on the non-rare games that James bought:Pat: Oh, wow; Combat! Classic game! It was included with every Atari 2600!
Pat: Oh, Golf! Plain old, regular black-box Golf. Oh, wow, this is worth a lot of money.
Pat: I needed another copy of Super Mario/Duck Hunt! I'm making a coffee table out of them!
- The reference to This Is Spın̈al Tap:Pat: No-no-no-no! Don't touch it.
AVGN: I wasn't gonna touch it. I was just pointing.
Pat: Don't point, even.
AVGN: Don't point?
Pat: It can't be played. Never.
AVGN: Can I look at it?
- Pat: "Relax. Relax! It's just a video game. It's only Nintendo World Championships Gold cart. It's just the most sought-after video game, on the plaaaanet!" ''(James and Pat excitedly jump up and down)
- And this exchange:AVGN: Yeah, but the gold one's a piece of crap! I mean, you don't want that. I mean, you know how they made those! They just cut out the logo with cheap paper, and they glued it on! With glue!Pat: Yeah! Elmer's glue!AVGN: Yeah, yeah. I bet Mr. Elmer himself glued it on from his own goat. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
- Both Pat and the Nerd imagine what will happen if they win both versions of the cartridge. Pat imagines him receiving an award by the Nerd for his accomplishment. The Nerd on the other hand... imagines himself putting the games in with the rest of his collection, staring at it for a minute, and walking away.
- The Nerd being unimpressed with how NES World Championships is merely a compilation of three already released games:AVGN: I know a lot of people who own Tetris. And they actually own the whole game.
- After it seems as if the Nerd destroys both copies of the real Nintendo World Championships because he realized it's just a truncated collection of NES games, the credits show the real copies, revealing that fake games were used as "stand-ins."
- Right when he smashes the "gold" cartridge, a battery pops out, revealing it was actually a Legend of Zelda cartridge.
- His Sarcasm Mode statement about how he's going to have nightmares over the cute, cartoonish-looking dragon becomes Hilarious in Hindsight if you've seen James' "The Dragon in my Dreams" video.
- The part when he dramatically pulls out the CD-i version of the game.
- Then the ending where he chains the Genesis cart and the CD-i disc to the wall and whips them like the torturer in the former version.
- The graffiti on the wall, which reads "Gamers Rule!" and "Saddam was Here."Nerd: "Saddam was here"? As in Saddam Hussein? What was he doing writing on castle walls? And "Gamers rule"? That's the same handwriting! So, Saddam was a really hardcore gamer?
- How are the controls for the CD-i game?Nerd: The control is impossible. You can't control it. You have more control over the weather than you do the character in this game.
- After struggling with the Genesis version for a while, the Nerd starts to think he might have the game accidentally set on a high difficulty. After checking the options, he discovers to his horror that the game is set on Easy.Nerd: (distraught) Easy? It was on Easy? (pissed off) That's their idea of fuckin' EASY?! Are they out of their minds?!
- While playing The King James Version, the Nerd types in the word "ASS" and finds a whole bunch of KJV Bible passages with the word "ass", some of them unintentional Double Entendres, including the words "dumb ass". Even the Nerd breaks down in laughter, and then says that he's going to Hell.
- In Adam and Eve, he finds that the game is not the same as the Biblical story of Adam and Eve, but is instead about people floating in balloons fighting worms and eating the supposed "forbidden fruits" called apples! "What were they thinking?!"
- When he revisits Flight to Egypt, he picks up one trivia question scroll that has a fill-in-the-blank for Luke 10:18 (KJV), and says that anyone who's seen the film Street Fighter should know the answer for that passage!
- One game is like "Hangman", only with sheep; you try to guess the word, and each time you get a letter wrong, one of the sheep in a corral jumps over the fence and escapes. The Nerd can't guess the word and all the sheep get out, so he loses. Then he sees what the word is."Goodliest"? Who the fuck uses a word like that? "Blessedness"? Of course. They're all ancient words that nobody says anymore in common speech. Well, that's about the extent of that. I marvel at this game's "shitliness".
- The ending, where the Nerd literally gives his heart to Jesus.Nerd: Aaaagh, Jesus!