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Funny / Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

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"Mariachi Gear!? It can't be!"
  • Anything involving the Mariachi costume. Ever.
    • Sombrero Box.
    • Authentic Civilian Disguise.
      • "Adiós, amigos!"
    • The two men who witness the scene and discuss how much of a freak Raiden looks like.
    • The car driving away on its own just tops off the whole scene.
    • In game description: "Traditonal garb for Mexican folk musicians, purchased by Raiden at a souvenir shop south of the border in a misguided attempt to blend in with the locals."
    • The fact that it's considered an enhancement, despite being just a poncho and sombrero thrown on Raiden.
    • And the way he got the ensemble - buying it in a souvenir shop. Somewhere out there, there's a fearless shop owner who not only did business with a heavily-armored cyborg with barely any human features, but had the brass balls to spring a tourist trap on him. And got away with it.
      • The mental image of whoever was working the shop attempting to convince his friends until eventually being forced to show the security footage to prove it.
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    • The two men who witness Raiden decide it's better to just pretend they didn't see anything. Probably for the best, too.
  • Oh Doktor, you and your Accidental Innuendo...
    Doktor: Yes, enemy cyborgs should have plenty of electrolytes once you... extract their fluids.
    • And this one...
      Doktor: Perhaps, but first you need to take a DOOMP.
      Raiden: I... Wait, what?
      Doktor: A DOOMP? A digital-optical output mounted proxy.
    • One can imagine him having a flashback to the "nerds/nodes" incident.
    • "Working on your body was quite....educational".
  • Senator Armstrong's beatdown of Raiden. He whoops Raiden, while delivering a speech about how he was a college football player, punts Raiden while an imaginary Football Crowd cheers, and reveals his ideals... it's funny and awesome.
  • As Raiden gets deep into his one-man crusade against Worldwide Marshal:
    Boris: Maverick Inc. officially declares your actions to be unlawful... and a pain in the asshole.
  • Seeing Bladewolf in the ending of the game lounging around on the floor like a house trained pet is oddly amusing. Bonus points in that he jumps up in fright when Sunny accidentally steps on his tail but then dismisses the "threat" he sensed as a false alarm.
    • Followed by a book hitting his head.
    • Him immediately flopping to the floor is cute too.
  • Raiden's reaction to Mistral's blown kiss and how quickly he moves away Doktor's codec screen.
    Doktor: Raiden, what's happening? Your heart rate spiked...
    Raiden: Yeah, I just dodged a bullet.
    • Speaking of Mistral, all of your contacts have a word or two to say about her... "chest" hardware if you go into the codec after that encounter.
  • When Sunny's enthusiasm for launching Raiden into space gets the better of her, skipping normal launch procedures, the camera does a quick zoom to a clearly freaked out Raiden.
  • The wooden sword with Solid Snake's soul. It's a bit sad, but all things considered, still very funny.
    • Even funnier when you realize Liquid is likely whining in the afterlife about Solid Snake being a more powerful ghost than him. Somewhere The Sorrow is trying to find ghost vodka.
  • Raiden, when asked by Kevin if he should trust Bladewolf's company, vouches for him by making a dog pun:
    Raiden: Yeah, let's throw him a bone.
    Bladewolf: Wordplay: my exoskeleton resembles a canine; canines enjoy bones. Amusing on two levels.
    • What makes it even funnier is that Raiden looks back at Bladewolf for a moment as if to say, "Sure, why not?"
      • Even better, he's wearing the above-mentioned Mariachi costume.
  • During the Mexico level Bladewolf says that he will go on ahead and provide reconnaissance while Raiden provides backup. Raiden, amused by Bladewolf giving orders, snarks back, "Sir, yes, sir."
  • During one exchange between Bladewolf and Raiden, the former tells Raiden not to be distracted by advertisements. Raiden jokes that he will only buy a couple of things for Rose and then he'll get back to the mission. Bladewolf replies mechanically that Raiden can't be wasting time. Raiden then says that he should teach Bladewolf about sarcasm one of these days, only for Bladewolf to respond, "I understand your attempts at humor. I just don't find them entertaining." Harsh.
  • Call Doktor during the Monsoon fight. Even Raiden's "Jack the Ripper" persona isn't immune to humorous moments or being weirded out by Doktor's ideas.
    • Also, if you call Courtney during the fight and don't save, Raiden becomes embarrassed for forgetting why he called her.
    • The best part is that the codecs during the fight have no rhyme or reason over whether they're regular Raiden or Jack the Ripper - you can get one call with Raiden gushing about how much he loves killing people then immediately call them back and have Raiden talk about something innocent.
    • The codec call with Kevin after the boss fight. When the call ends, Kevin just stares at Raiden awkwardly, as if not wanting to talk to Jack the Ripper for longer than he needs to.
  • Bladewolf's primary reason for being unable to hack networks is his lack of hands.
  • The codec call with Sunny about Otacon. Even Raiden admits Otacon got really good looking.
  • Sunny teaching Bladewolf how to shake (as you do with dogs). Raiden tries it and Wolf shows no interest, prompting him to get his red Jack the Ripper glow for a second.
    • What makes it even funnier is that earlier Bladewolf showed no complaint when Sam petted him on his head, and yet when Raiden (who if you think about it is technically Wolf's master) tries to interact with him like a pet he refuses to let Raiden do so. That's just mean.
      • Afterward Sunny asks Raiden on Codec if he plans to keep Bladewolf, claiming that she thinks he's cute. Raiden states that he doesn't think that Wolf is the "cuddling type". Raiden goes on to say that Wolf really isn't his pet, he just follows him around where ever he goes. Sunny then asks if she can keep him, only for Raiden to state that he doesn't mind if Wolf stays with her so long as Wolf himself is OK with the decision. Raiden then encourages the decision by saying that Wolf clearly likes Sunny more than he does him, lamenting that he "wouldn't even shake for me..."
  • Raiden's reaction to getting his arm cut off? An irritated "Not again!"
  • The whole scene where Raiden and Bladewolf enter Solis.
    • Bladewolf scaring the otaku guard by slamming himself against the window. Followed by Raiden ripping open the gates. "This is just like one of my Japanese animes!" may come to mind.
      • "Oh Hikari-Chan... so kawaii..."
      • The entire scene is a CMOF. From the big muscled tough-guy guard being an otaku eating pizza and looking at a moe magazine (specifically, with art by Yaegashi Nan of Senran Kagura fame), to Bladewolf showing up. The best part is him him taking out a holopicture of Raiden, looking back and forth between it and the clearly non-humanoid Bladewolf, and asking "Uh, are you Mr. Raiden, sir?"
    • Sunny getting mad at Raiden for ruining the front gate.
      • And sending him the invoice for a new one. "Rose is going to kill me..."
  • Doing Mexico research lab infiltrations as Dwarf Gekko the wrong way will result in 5+ cyborg infantrymen trying to make a soccer ball out of you.
    • While controlling a Dwarf Gekko, once you get to the terminal needed, the USB the Dwarf Gekko pulls out doesn't go in the first time and has to flip it.
    • When you complete one of the DLC VR Training missions starring the Dwarf Gekko, it does a little victory dance before giving you a thumbs up with its third arm!
  • Raiden and Courtney spend a few optional codec calls talking about foreign cuisine. In one, she goes crazy for a Mexican dish called nopales, and Raiden interrupts her rant with, "Enough about that. So, how's it taste?"
    • Made even funnier by the fact that Raiden is an expy of Big Boss since they share a lot of the same personality traits/had the same things happen to them. Hell they even both go by the name Jack!
  • A few of Bladewolf's exchanges with Raiden over codec manage to be humorous due to Raiden missing certain details about how Wolf works. Some forgiveable, others...
    Raiden: Couldn't you hack into [Desperado's] network or something? You're an A.I...
    Wolf: Perhaps. If I had free access to a computer. Also, hands. Those are necessary to operate a keyboard.
  • It's probably unintentional, but Raiden crawling around Armstrong due to the sheer size difference is pretty funny.
  • George thinks Sunny is "hot fah days!"
    • Also funny is the fact that Sunny was in full Not Listening to Me, Are You? mode up until he said that, at which point she promptly acted exactly like any thirteen-year old girl.
  • Unintentional, but the fact that you have an Armstrong who is insanely overmuscled, and has what amounts to Greed's ability is pretty hilarious. "These nanomachines have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!"
    • It gets better: Whenever you fight him, you use Sam's Muramasa Blade, which was given to him by his father. In other words, you could say that you fight Armstrong with the sword that has been passed down the Rodrigues family line for generations!
  • Possibly intentional is Raiden (Jack) using a cardboard box. "A Jack in the Box".
  • In a rather nice bit of snarky Black Comedy, this exhange happens during Sundowner's final codec call. Remember now, he's is in about exty-kajillion pieces when this happens:
    Sundowner: I gotta...make a call...
    Sundowner: (chuckle) ...Asshole...
  • If you call Courtney and don't save:
    Raiden: I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice.
    Courtney: Oh, save it for your wife, Raiden!
    • Save several times and...
    Raiden: You saved me again, Courtney.
  • As if Senator Armstrong wasn't bad enough during the final boss battle, but just to top things off he pulls a Kick the Dog moment. A literal one too, with Bladewolf being the dog.
  • Much like in Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, you can trigger the entire Mission Control's Berserk Button at the same time by doing something they view to be reprehensible: in this case, it's demonstrating Raiden's Implausible Fencing Powers on civilians you've saved by running after them and attacking them to strip them of their clothes. Do so, and Boris will threaten to pull the plug on the operation or ask Raiden if he left Maverick to do things like this, Kevin will tell you to do stuff like that on your own time and much like Rose, Courtney will refuse to save your game until you reach the next checkpoint. Bladewolf will also pity Raiden and think it's sad that he's "capable of sinking into such depravity".
  • This should have been noticed in Metal Gear Solid 4 but after seeing Raiden in different costumes, it's hard not to notice that Raiden is technically naked again.
    • Though on most of his outfits he's wearing armor, one piece covering his groin, and on his MGS4 skin/Original Body, he's wearing a noticeably-not-apart-of-his-musculature black leotard, and his Standard Body/Prologue skin, he's wearing his MGS4 body as a suit. Though it should be noted that his ass is exposed on his custom bodies, though nearly-exposed buttocks in a Metal Gear game isn't exactly new.
  • If you call your Codec support during mini boss and boss battles than your support team typically marvels at the lethality of the technology being presented against Raiden. Raiden then gets annoyed by the fact that they are praising highly advanced weapons of war that are trying to kill him, and that he would be more enthusiastic about giving these weapons a proper analysis after they've ceased being a threat to his life.
  • If you think about it Raiden defeating Sundowner and acquiring his scissor blades is a funny, if unintentional, call back to Metal Gear Solid 2. In that game during the Colonel AI's mental breakdown he claimed that he needed scissors... at long last Raiden has acquired scissors!
  • Call Wolf after cutting off a civilian's clothes:
    Bladewolf: For all his achievements, man is still capable of such depravity. Still driven by such cruel impulses.
    Raiden: Wolf, I-
    Bladewolf: I know it is your instinct to test the limits. Still I find it...pitiful.
  • Call Wolf anytime from File R-05 onwards. One of the topics of the calls will be about the Colonel AI's ramblings whille being affected by Emma's worm cluster, where Raiden asks Wolf if he knows what Gubayama is. Despite being aware of the worm cluster and the Colonel being an AI thanks to Otacon, Raiden believes there was some kind of message the Colonel wanted to give him. From his knowledge, Wolf concludes that this Gubayama is a sumo wrestler based on the last part of the name.
    • Raiden has spent over a decade of his life thinking about this. Does the codename Snake just inflict brain damage or something?
  • The car chase. Right before Raiden's car gets blown up, he speeds up right into the barricade, entering battle mode. The camera then cuts to Wolf, who does the same. The way his mouth is open and the way he shakes his head right before he activates his visor totally says, "Seriously, Raiden?"
  • What is the first thing Raiden has to say after hearing Senator Armstrong's elaborate and animated Motive Rant?
    Raiden: How the hell did you get elected?
    • His response is pretty funny too.
    Armstrong: Well, I don't write my own speeches.
    • Speaking of speeches, he begins his motivational speech by quoting Martin Luther King Jr. Raiden's reaction sells it.
    Armstrong: "I HAVE A DREAM!"
    Raiden: What...?note 
  • One that can otherwise ruin the pre-boss fight cutscene's drama before you fight Monsoon. When it switches to Raiden's first person view, turn his head right to look at the cyborg guard in that direction. Keep watching him, and eventually a cat will just randomly wander into the scene, causing the guard to immediately get down on his hands and knees and start petting it.
    • It's even funnier when you consider that Monsoon's monologue at that point is discussing memes.
      • It’s even dual layered: cuteness proximity comes from xkcd.
  • This codec conversation:
    Raiden: Yeah, otherwise you'd now be the world's clumsiest cyborg.
    Courtney: Hey, cyborg Courtney coulda been your partner! I might've saved your ass!
    Raiden: How? By spilling coffee all over the enemy?
    Courtney: Oh, come on, I'm not that— *spills coffee*
    Raiden: ...Please tell me that was a joke.
    Courtney: *hangs up*
  • The opening of the Jetstream DLC, which contains:
    • Monsoon, acting totally out of character from the main campaign, calmly leading Armstrong around the Japanese-themed reception area. He's practically unrecognizable in personality: he just discusses the concepts of nature and its beauty-or lack thereof-with Armstrong, unlike in Raiden's story where he spouts off threats and mentions of "the memes" while sounding like a complete psychopath.
    • Senator Armstrong threatening to beat the shit out of the guy who made the room so badly that he can't even carry his personal belongings box out of the building. That's right: he actually plans to kick the ass of the architect, and then FIRE HIM. All because Armstrong thinks that the cherry blossom trees are too girly.
    • When the Cyborg Cops are heckling Sam, one mockingly examines his sword. Sam then proceeds to use the trigger of his sheathe to eject the handle of the blade right into the cop's chin and send both him and the sword flying. The expression on the other cop's face is priceless.
    • The fact that Sam's unique taunt button can rile close to every foe in the DLC. Including Metal Gear RAY.
    "Why does the ray get butthurt!?!"
    • The opening lines from Monsoon and Sam's scene in the hangar serve to show us that Monsoon's the most Metal Gear character in the game... and that Sam's probably in the wrong franchise.
    Sam: oh?
  • Raiden and Doktor talking about the uses of Augmented Reality, with Doktor giving the following example and Raiden's reply to it:
    Doktor: Well, for example, let's say that you and I are having a nice chat, face-to-face. Suddenly, I disappear! Poof! And in my place appears a ravishing, nubile young woman... Is the girl the projected image, or the reality? Perhaps I was the AR... How would you know?
    Doktor: Bah! Such things can be controlled with a simple hack of your auditory nerves.
  • Sam's reaction to Armstrong's reveal to him of his powers. Basically it's a "Oh, hello, heh, really?" sort of reaction, and when Armstrong is done (by making everything he was levitating, which included several APCs and helicopters, explode like fireworks) Sam applauds.
    • Basically, all of Armstrong's transformations. It seems every time he does it, he has to wave his leg in the air and stomp it like a sumo wrestler.
  • Near the end of the game, Raiden steals a motorcycle for transportation and leaves an inscription on the ground apologizing to the owner and how to contract him. Made even more amusing with the Jetstream Sam DLC where it reveals that the motorcycle was Sam's all along.
  • More of a meta example, but in Yahtzee's review of Metal Gear Rising he likens the relationship between Raiden and Blade Wolf onto the one between Shaggy and Scooby Doo. If Shaggy was a murdering cybernetic sociopath, and Scooby was his robot companion. Say what you will about Yahtzee and his criticism of the Metal Gear games, but the idea of Raiden and Blade Wolf going on Scooby Doo adventures is a very amusing mental image.
  • In the Bladewolf DLC, Khamsin's face when you enter Blade Mode at the end of the fight is so terrified, it's priceless.
    • He continues the tradition of the Winds making very awkward faces when you get a Hunt attack off on him.
    • Better yet, there's nothing stopping you from immediately bisecting his head right along the jawline. The way his mouth is slack it's as if he wants you to do it.
  • Boris has a bit of a Raiden Fanboy moment when Raiden calls him about the Gekko he encounters:
    Boris: So, Raiden, what's your game plan?
    Raiden: Ha, you sound excited...
    Boris: Oh I am! Front row seats to rematch: Raiden versus Giant Gekko! I've heard the stories!
    Raiden: I am trying to work here, you know.
    Boris: Don't be modest! It was you who taught anti-Irving tactics to my men! This I think you could handle with no legs and both eyes closed!
    Raiden: Boris...
    Boris: Well, off you go! Time for the fun, yeah? Oh, this video will be perfect for sales presentations!
    Raiden: Ugh...
  • Raiden, despite being a married man, is jokingly hit on by Courtney in response to him talking about what his new body can do.
  • In the ending of the prologue mission, Boris tries to shoot down Desperado's VTOL with homing missiles. His genuine surprise when the aircraft sensibly deploys flares in response is hilarious. "Flares?!"
    • Becomes justified when a later codec call reveals flares aren't effective against most missiles these days, and therefore have mostly fallen into disuse. Boris didn't expect such an obviously well-equipped enemy to suddenly deploy what was now outdated missile countermeasures.
  • Sam's blade-related puns.
    Mind if I cut in?
  • The probably unintentional resemblance between Armstrong and François Hollande, the former french president.It gets funnier considering the fact that Hollande is nicknamed (mostly, but not only by his detractors) "Flamby", since his public image is a wimpy, flabby politician. Seing him as a heavy-macho-nanomachine-tank beating the crap on cyborg Raiden is just hilarious!
  • Sam "Jetstream" Rodrigues's first appearance: Slaughters a bunch of N'Mani's protectors and turns to the camera with a seemingly normal expression...which he then proceeds to turn into the douchiest grin ever seen in this generation of video games. The grin itself has become a meme.
    • Any time the camera focuses on Sam's face. You can feel the smugness coming in through the screen.
  • Kinda a darker example considering both dudes are about to fight to the death, but still; Metal Gear Rising bosses, in true Metal Gear fashion, explain their entire philosophy, ideals, and way of life to Raiden before fighting him. Ultimately culminating in Monsoon exploiting Raiden being paralysed with despair to deliver a full three-minute monologue on how, for him, everything in life is shit and predetermined. Eventually, when Jetstream Sam and Raiden are walking towards the site of their final duel, Sam begins to explain that "[he's] talking about ideals." Raiden's reaction to the beginning of yet another lecture is to narrow his eyes at Sam and mutter "Excuse me?" in the most hilariously tired, pissed-off tone imaginable. Sam pauses, then decides that they should both just forget it and cut to the fight, citing "history can decide who is right".
    • It's like Sam just caught himself about to do the psycho-lecture to Raiden, decided "Screw that", and just cut to the chase. Sam lampshades the ranting of Metal Gear bosses by saying they've both "heard enough speeches about higher ideals by now".
    • It's also obvious that at this point, Sam just doesn't give a shit about working for Desperado anymore.
      Sam: [amused] Well, not if you say it like that!
  • Call Sunny at any point in R-07 after realizing Wolf won't answer your codec calls. Raiden tells her about it, and her reaction is amusing.
  • Slightly meta example: Sundowner's got quite a popular following amongst the game's fans for the simple fact that, in a game filled with villains fueled entirely by their own complex morals and ideals, his entire reason for going along with the Sears Program seems to boil down to "Mo' war crimes, mo' money."
    • That and his obvious Blood Knight tendencies. Sundowner is a dyed in the wool Psycho for Hire, and doesn't bother hiding it or trying to pretty it up. He's just here to kill people, make money, and have fun, and he's able to do all three at once.
  • When Raiden meets Blade Wolf and hears his boast of having an intellect far beyond humans, he retorts, "What's the meaning of life, why are we here?" Wolf dryly answers "I am here to kill you."
  • Use Ninja Run while inside a Drum Can. Raiden will be overwhelmed by nausea and vomit upon removing it!
  • Sundowner's shit-eating grin in the prologue when he realizes there's a passing train going by and is about to escape with a captured N'Mani.
  • Armstrong flipping upside down and looking underneath his legs after Raiden manages to scramble away from him.
  • Raiden's levels of sass gets cranked up to eleven in this game, especially when talking to his support team.
    Courtney: Maybe I should look into the cyborg thing, huh? I could eat whatever I want, whenever I want.
    Raiden: Probably cheaper just getting lipo, Courtney.
    Courtney: Jerk...
  • During the duel with Sam in the desert, there is the off chance that a random tumbleweed might roll by.
  • Raiden is not much of a sports fan:
    Raiden: You know all the rules of football, Kev?
    Kevin: Huh? Well... Enough to watch it, at least. Why?
    Raiden: Just curious. I can never keep track of everything goin' on. All those rules...
    Kevin: It's not that complicated, Raiden. You never watched it? Actually, you ever watched any sport?
    Raiden: What can I say? I'm a man of culture, Kev. Give me a good movie over some dumb game any day.
    Kevin: (heheheh) Culture? Oh, the sensitive artsy cyborg-type, right?
    Raiden: Right. Anyway, basketball's more my speed. Get the ball, put it into the net, two points.
    Kevin: Oh, yeah, 'cause that's all there is to basketball. I swear you crack me up sometimes, man.
  • A very early codec call with Kevin:
    Kevin: We've confirmed three key captains in Desperado. Their names are all wind-themed. The captain presiding over this coup's called Mistral.
    Raiden: Cyborg?
    Kevin: Yup. All three've got custom-made bodies. Collectively they're known as the "Winds of Destruction."
    Raiden: (snicker) The... what? They all have action figures, too?
    Kevin: (heheh) You're one to talk, "Mr. Lightning Bolt."
    Raiden: Who told you?
    Kevin: Courtney. Now that sounds like an action figure.
  • One of the things Khamsin will occasionally say when recovering from your attack is simply "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
  • A fan saw how much Senator Armstrong resembled Anthony's father from The Ren & Stimpy Show and made a fanvid of Armstrong telling a joke. Something about Senator Armstrong taking off his shirt and lurching towards Ren and Stimpy while "It Has To Be This Way" plays in the background is ridiculous and awesome.
    • And a comment threat took it one step further.
    wolfjak: Lotta people don't know this but Armstrong was part of college improv group y'know?
    The 94 Venom: In some cushy theater school !
    Jigaraki Mitshubishi: Try University of Texas
    The Formshifter: Could of gone pro if he hadn't joined the Navy.
    Nick Storm X: he's not one of those stand up comedians
    Jigaraki Mitshubishi He could break the president in two.... with his bear jokes!
    Tleps Sdrawkcab: Don't heckle this senator!
    Mr. Anonymous: *applause cheers*
    Tleps Sdrawcab: "How the hell did you ever get popular?" "Heh-heh, Well. I don't write my own jokes."
  • Ladies and Gentlemen, we present to you the only enemy Raiden can't cut at all - the Matrix Cat. No matter how hard you try, no matter if you're in Bullet Time or not, you can't cut him. Also a Moment of Awesome for the cat.
    • It then reappears in the infamous "Memes" cutscene right before the fight with Monsoon - just look to the right, and you'll see one of the emotion-suppressed and deadly Desperado cyborgs notice the cat walk up to him, and he plays with it for almost all of Monsoon's spiel.
  • L'Étranger polearm is hilarious when you realize, that it is a pole made of arms.
    • Double whammy: "L'Étranger" means "The Stranger", which is also the name for the act of deliberately making your arm fall asleep before using it to masturbate, in order to give the illusion of another person giving you a handjob. Again, L'Étranger is made entirely out of arms.
  • Sundowner's memetastic "I'm fuckin' invincible!" qualifies because of how deliciously hammy it is.
  • The game's PC release brought with it mods, and what funnier mod to have than one that turns the game into a gritty sequel to Pepsiman!
  • George's first reaction to seeing Raiden is to make multiple Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles references, including the infamous "Go ninja, go ninja, go!" from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.
  • According to Kojima, he imagined that if he left development to a Western company and didn't keep in frequent contact with them, they would've probably put a chainsaw on a gun and made that the main weapon.
  • Keep in mind that the main composer for the entire game also worked on Toon Town Online.


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