Follow TV Tropes


Funny / Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

Go To

All spoilers on this page are unmarked, per wiki policy. You Have Been Warned!

Even in the darkest Metal Gear game ever, there's still some good ol' fashioned quirks from the mind of Kojima.

    open/close all folders 
  • Back when the game was being "developed" by Moby Dick Studios, they tweeted that they actually did motion-capture for the flaming whale.
  • A small one in the debut gameplay demo for Phantom Pain, which got a good belly laugh out of the GDC crowd. While planning an escape for himself and Snake from the hospital that's currently under attack, Ishamel looks at the map and says in a deadpan voice, "Let's take the stairs". Pan over to Snake.
  • Footage from 2014's E3 shows Big Boss using the Fulton Recover System. On a goat.
  • The boxes in The Phantom Pain are heavily upgraded, allowing Snake to use a cardboard cutout of a soldier to hide from enemies. The funny part? Snake can also use cutouts of bikini models, which may result in guards wandering up to the cutout and flirting with it.
    • The soldier painted on the box has an exclamation point next to it.
    • A trailer showcased Big Boss using said box, hopping out of it after attracting a solider, then placing a PS4 box on his head after.
      • The PS4 box deserves special mention; Snake's head barely fits into it, yet he otherwise acts like he's hiding under a full-size box.
  • One of the new items for The Phantom Pain is the Active Decoy, a throwable stand that blows up a balloon of Big Boss and emits quotes repeatedly to attract enemies. Imagine a balloon of the legendary soldier himself just standing there, repeatedly going, "You're pretty good," or, "Kept you waiting, huh?"
  • From the MGO3 trailer, we have Snake putting Ocelot in a chokehold and taking a selfie, seen in the picture above.
    • Also from the same trailer: cute plushie dogs. They also seem to have the same functionality magazines in past MGO games have.
    • Its TGS 2015 gameplay trailer feature Ocelot getting unceremoniously Rocket Punch'd by Venom Snake in the back.
  • Gamescom 2015 revealed that there are showers on-deck for when Snake comes back from missions and needs to clean off dirt. Or blood. Of course, there's nothing compelling the player, meaning you can just keep ignoring it until flies buzz around you, the soldiers can barely breathe in your presence, and Ocelot just says " stink!", lip curling with disgust, before dousing you with a bucket of water.
    • From the same trailer, the last scene is a classic comical moment where Big Boss regards an Under Construction sign. A few seconds later, a box falls from on high and lands on his head, breaking apart and sending Big Boss falling on his ass. As a soldier looks on. Who then quips, "Let us know if you need supplies, boss," almost as if sarcastically, if not for the honest salute. After many extremely somber trailers, a lighthearted slapstick scene like this feels both out of place in the game and right at home in the Metal Gear franchise.
  • A chicken hat has been confirmed as an ingame accessory.
    • This is taken even further because it carries into cutscenes (since they're not pre-rendered), causing Narm in the best way.
    • Other comical clothing includes the swimsuits that can be unlocked during events. They're rather... revealing, to say the least. They also allow Diamond Dogs soldiers to move much faster than usual. Sadly, Snake himself cannot wear the swimsuits.
  • The Rocket Punch function for Snake's prosthetic arm. Using a Missile Cam, Snake can guide an explosive, rocket powered hand much like the one Zadornov used in Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, except this one actually works properly. Nothing quite describes blowing up an enemy with a detachable fist.
  • Speaking of punches, if you sprint and attack with the Bionic Arm equipped Snake will simply throw a haymaker with his prosthetic hand which, if it lands, will knock even Heavy Infantries out cold in one hit. Said punch hits so hard that sometimes the enemy will either spin like a top or do a full backwards flip before hitting the ground.
  • After being thrown to the ground by Quiet, Ishmael starts throwing everything he can get his hands on at her (including a bedpan), then he throws a bottle of some kind of flammable liquid at her. She completely ignores Ishmael's attacks and moves to kill Venom Snake, but the kicker? Ishmael is the real Big Boss in disguise, and Quiet's target. She accidentally totally ignored her intended target, all to kill a random medic who looked like Big Boss.
  • After Ishmael sets Quiet on fire and throws her out a window and Snake asks what happened:
    • Two Best Friends Play highlight in their playthrough what this must have looked like to the Cipher soldiers waiting outside: they just sent in one of their best assassins to kill an emaciated man who'd been in a coma for almost a decade, and next thing they know she's falling out the window and on fire. As far as they're aware, Big Boss just committed a moment of awesome when he really didn't.
      • "That's the Boss, alright!" - Woolie, imitating a Cipher soldier after Quiet hits the ground.
    • And then it gets even better. Big Boss did do something Ishmael.
    • In the game itself, there's another variation of the showerless Snake scene if Quiet is around. She storms up to Snake like a stern boss (as in Snake's mother figure) and snatches the bucket from Ocelot's hands, then proceeds to drag Snake to the showers herself...while everyone else watches.
      • It tells you a lot that she only does this when her affection/bond meter is maxed. Oh, and she doesn't just drag him there, she actually showers with him. Ocelot is understandably jealous... of Quiet.
      • Made more hilarious by that she's blatantly flirting with Snake (as Ocelot grumpily watches, too). There's also these lines from your guards in the background, which suggests that they're not staring at her, but rather, you. Oh yeah, and the implication that Snake is sitting there almost completely naked in front of everyone.
        Diamond Dog Soldier: It's her lucky day...
        Diamond Dog Soldier: Ooh, she's a naughty girl...
        Diamond Dog Soldier: What I wouldn't do...
        Diamond Dog Soldier: Look at 'em!
    • Snake actually showers with all his clothes on, including during that scene. If you move the camera far enough left or right you'll see that he's still wearing whatever he had on before.
    • Pay close attention to the bottom-left-hand corner of the screen after the cutscene ends. The staff's morale just increased three times!
  • Sometimes, guards will react to a moving cardboard box by calling CP in a panic, to which CP tells the guard to stop joking around, then eventually relents and allows the guard to open fire on the box. Should the player abandon the box unseen, the reaction from the CP is something to be behold.
    Enemy Soldier: CP! A cardboard box is moving! Please advise!/Uhhh, CP? A cardboard box just moved by itself. Please advise.
    CP: This is CP. Knock it off. Out.
    Enemy Soldier: Rrgh! It is not a joke.../*sounding dejected liked a kicked puppy* But it's the truth...
    (Snake moves around a bit in the box)
    Enemy Soldier: CP! I'm telling you, this cardboard box is moving!/CP, the cardboard box moved again!
    CP: (audibly annoyed) This is CP. Knock it off! Out.
    Enemy Soldier: You've got to believe me! I think an intruder is hiding in a box!/I'm serious, sir. I can see feet sticking out from the bottom.
    CP: (resigned) ... Copy that. Permission granted to fire that the box.
    Enemy Soldier: Copy!
    (Snake covertly exits the box and hides nearby; the soldier fires a few rounds at the now empty box)
    Enemy Soldier: (audibly embarrassed) CP. Fired at the box, but... It was just a box. Maybe I was seeing things?/CP. Fired at the box. No response... Returning to duty.
    CP: (audibly exasperated) CP copies. Schedule a psych. Out.
  • One of the ways you can retrieve a Jeep full of soldiers for your base is quite funny, if also quite smelly. Be a total pain to get those tires clean, I bet.
  • What's the first thing Snake sees when he wakes up? A hot nurse's cleavage. Which is entirely in-character, if you recall those Snake Eater cutscene easter eggs.
  • The Metal Gear series' love of butt zoom never stops even when said character is wearing a patient's gown with his butt exposed and other people in the hospital are getting brutally executed everywhere...
    • Even more hilarious when you realize Ishmael's true identity, as the Snake family line is (in)famous for the high quality of their buttocks.
  • Towards the end of the opening mission, Snake encounters the bad guy's mooks encountering Demon Volgin, who he ran into earlier. There's a dramatic sequence which shows Volgin, the soldiers firing on him, Volgin absorbing the bullets so he can shoot them out again, Snake quietly taking cover, Volgin spraying bullets everywhere...
  • If you go back to the first mission after gaining enough explosives, through decoys and c4, detection mines, and anti-tank mines; you can set up traps that insta-kill the Skulls, without alerting them to your presence and initiating the chase scene. After killing the 4th one, Ocelot will buggingly shout at Snake that he doesn't have a chance (what he says if you fight them during the chase scene), and immediately Pequod will say that the mist has cleared up because the Skulls are gone and he can land now.
  • The fact that the infamous "They played us like a damn fiddle!" line is among the first things that pop up in the flashback to Ground Zeroes.
  • You can Fulton bears to your base. The bears are not... super-psyched about this.
  • The first time you land down on Mother Base for a tutorial, Ocelot's right there. And you can still use your tranquilizer pistol. Do the math.
    Ocelot: Heh, that won't work on me. I've had drug... rrresissstance... trrrrraining... (mumbles)
    Ocelot: La Li Lu Le Lo... La Li Lu Le Lo...
    Ocelot: Two plus two equals five... two plus two equals five...
    Ocelot: (speaks in his Japanese VA's voice for a moment) AHEM... hmm.
    • Even funnier? The Japanese stuff that Ocelot will mumble? It's "Kawanishi-Noseguchi...Kinunobebashi..." As in Myoken Line train stations. Oh and you get another opportunity to torment him this way near Quiet's cell. And he'll add "Takiyama" and "Uguisunomori" to his list. Just like old times.
  • D-Dog as a puppy tries and fails to climb into the helicopter.
    • And the various on-base conversations between battle-hardened veterans giving in to Cuteness Proximity about said puppy, including one who expresses a desire to touch his paw-pads, thoroughly confusing his coworker.
    • And then once DD grows into an adult, soldiers begin debating on whether DD is a dog or a wolf, treating the distinction with the utmost seriousness.
      Diamond Dogs Soldier A: That dog 's all grown up now.
      Diamond Dogs Soldier B: You mean DD?
      Diamond Dogs Soldier A: Yeah. Didn't seem to take that long, did it?
      Diamond Dogs Soldier B: You think he's really even a dog?
      Diamond Dogs Soldier A: Mm? Of course he's a dog. What's wrong with you?
      Diamond Dogs Soldier B: Well, I just mean he looks more like a wolf to me.
      Diamond Dogs Soldier A: That's crazy talk! He's a dog, you hear me, a dog!
      Diamond Dogs Soldier B: So you think he's a dog, I get it. Keep a freakin' lid on it.
      Diamond Dogs Soldier A: What's important is he's one of us, regardless if he's a dog or a wolf. He's a dog, though.
      Diamond Dogs Soldier B: (sigh) Why do I even bother?
  • Interacting with guards around Mother Base tend to provoke some funny reactions.
    • Holding one in a sleeper, and there's a chance they'll say "It's an honor to be held in your iron grip, Boss!" or "Harder, Boss".
    • Attack them and they'll say "Thanks for that boss".
    • In addition, POWs and friendly targets you can rescue in some missions just sound so happy when you use fulton balloon to bring them out.
  • In the "Extract the Russian Interpreter" Side-Op, the Russian interpreter is seen talking with another soldier, who think it is extremely cool he is able to speak English, and asks him to teach him something. The interpreter teaches him how to say "I spent last night with your girlfriend." The interpreter then claims the sentence means "I'm a good friend of your friend." His student is completely fooled.
  • Quiet's Boss battle has a semi-secret funny component to it. When she ambushes you, the game implies you have to choose between having a Sniper Duel with her (which will kill her) or chasing her down to wittle away her stamina with the Wu Silent Pistol, one shot at a time. What not many players realize, is that you can end the battle in less than 2 minutes, by tagging her with the binoculars, and then requesting a supply drop right where she's standing. When the big heavy crate of military-grade ammo falls on her head she automatically loses 50% of her stamina. Do this twice and you'll end the fight in just a couple of minutes, without needing to fire a single shot. There's just something hilarious about being able to take out the most badass, superpowered, and awesome sniper in a franchise already filled with awesome snipers — by dropping a heavy object on her head, Looney Tunes style.
  • The Butt-Monkey treatment that Huey receives when you're trying to save/retrieve him in Afghanistan is hilarious.
    • When Skull Face shoves him down the stairs, Huey pisses himself in terror when he lands.
    • Then at the end of the mission, after disabling Sahelanthropus temporarily with your support chopper's minigun, the camera focuses on Huey looking at the the scene in awe, having raised the bag over his head. The two look at each other. Then Snake simply grabs the bag and drags it back down again, eliciting a whimper from Huey.
  • The scene where Snake OKs the development of Huey's Battle Gear shows that Snake still has some Deadpan Snarker in him. Huey explains his idea passionately, praising the deterrence capabilities of the mech and even raising his arms to the sky like he's praying, with a convenient light dramatically framing him. Then...
    Huey: Naturally, it will raise the probability of success for standard missions, but it functions as an improved deterrent by increasing your preemptive strike capability against enemy elements. You just deploy it in a war zone and its superior firepower puts the brakes on enemy attacks! Eventually, the whole war machine grinds to a halt! A true...Battle Gear!
    (Beat, then...)
    Snake: Kaz, I'm having déjà-vu here.
  • Doubles as a Heartwarming moment, but there's the surprise birthday party for Big Boss. Going to Mother Base during your birthday triggers a special cutscene where your hardened crew of badasses greet you with a birthday cake and music. The real crowner however is the "gift" that Quiet gives you in her own way. She basically lays down a burst of heavy machine gun fire inches away from you. When you look at where she was shooting, she spelled HBD (Happy Birth Day) on a bunch of crates with her bullets. Cigars start to fall off the crates. When Snake picks one up, he leans over for her to shoot its end from her sniper rifle, lighting it for him.
    • During the first birthday cutscene, when Snake receives his birthday cigar, Miller snatches it out of his hand when he tries to light it with one of the candles on the cake. Miller's smirk just sells it.
  • Code Talker and Kaz have a very in-depth discussion about hamburgers. Turns out that Code Talker is very stingy with what he eats. See it here.
    • To explain: Code Talker requests for hamburgers after an intel session, and Kaz obliges. While making burgers, Kaz lets slip that he's been using the R&D Unit and GMP to develop better ones (and hopes Snake won't find out) which he plans to use for a side venture outside of Diamond Dogs. Code Talker soon realizes that he's being used as a focus group and suggests that Kaz use chemicals and preservatives, since people are used to all-natural food and want something more. When Kaz comes back with a burger loaded with them, Code Talker declares it to be the best burger he's ever eaten. Kaz then declares that these mass-produced burgers can solve world hunger and bring about "Pax Hamburgana," with a stunned Code Talker declaring them an "Ethnic Liberator." It Makes Sense in Context, kind of.
    • Kaz is a bit confused that Code Talker, a Native American, wants to eat a food so strongly associated with America. Code Talker goes into a lengthy speel about how the hamburger is a spiritual blessing of nature, combining meat, grain and vegetable into perfect harmony. Kaz calls bullshit and says he's just making excuses when he really just likes burgers. Code Walker admits that is also true.
    • Not to mention the implication of the last comment Miller makes about rebranding his restaurant. His western name? McDonnel.
    • The mere fact that Code Talker suggesting chemical additives gets a dramatic sting.
    • At the end of the 3rd record Miller storms off the room after having an eureka moment. Code Talker tries to call him to give him some insight but Miller was already out of the room, Code Talker finishes the tape with a tired sigh: "Quick for a one-legged man..."
    • "What on Earth is that color?" as well as "'Frankenburger?' Just what kind of a dive did your old man take you to?"
    • Miller's excited tone during the last tape is hilarious simply because of how it's such a stark contrast to how brooding and angry he is during the rest of the game.
  • True to Kojima tradition, one of the cassette tapes you can unlock is just audio of a guard having an EXTREMELY loud bowel movement.
    • Even better? If a guard is suspicious to your position and comes to check you out, you can hide in a porta-potty and play the tape with an upgraded iDroid to drive them off. Just be sure to set the iDroid's cassette tape's audio output to include outer output of the cassette tape audio, otherwise it won't work.
    • On a related note, there's a similar trick involving tapes of random animal noises. Another tape called "Afghan Lullaby" makes soldiers fall asleep if they hear it coming from the iDroid's speaker.
  • If Quiet's buddy bond score is low, and the player zooms in on her boobs while riding in the Airborne Command Center, she will respond by giving you a dirty look.
  • When you first meet Eli, he's leaning back on his "throne," looking like a smug little bastard. After you capture him, he's led to Pequod...where he proceeds to sit in the exact same don't-give-a-shit pose on the Helicopter. Nice to see that, without a word, little Liquid Snake is still a Smug Snake.
  • If you start the "C2W" mission but destroyed the comms equipment already in a previous mission, Ocelot will interrupt Miller's briefing by telling him the equipment you're supposed to destroy has already been taken out. An extremely confused Miller will then congratulate you with a perplexed "Good job Boss...." and the mission instantly ends. See it here.
  • One of the possible enemy distraction upgrades for the cardboard box is an image of Paz as an anime idol. Another one, similar to the lying-down pinup girl, has Paz surrounded by stuffed toys in a suspicious pose.
    • Just as funny is where you get said poster. In MOTHER BASE, near the Command Platform's Shower Unit. One has to wonder who put it there... note 
  • The hospital escape is nightmarish except for one aspect, if you do a perspective flip from XOF's point of view. They send their top assassin into the hospital to kill an unarmed sick man who's been in a coma for nine years. Sounds like shooting fish in a barrel, right? Five minutes later & she falls out of a fourth-story window - screaming and on fire. No wonder they sent in an army afterwards! "Holy crap, this guy really IS Big Boss."
    • But then that becomes even funnier when you stop to consider the Fridge Logic: if Quiet was your ultra-awesome, most deadliest assassin, then why would you have an army waiting on stand-by? One can imagine XOF Command's orders: "Okay, gentlemen, our agent will enter the hospital and eliminate the target quick and quiet, as is expected. But on the off chance that the agent fails... you guys just go in there and get him."note 
  • When Snake first comes to check on Huey's work on the Battle Gear, Huey has a coffee cup that says 'I Heart DD' on it. Which means either he was so desperate to seem like a team player that he made it himself, or Diamond Dogs have some kind of official merchandise.
    • Considering Kaz's MSF-Brand Curry in the 70's, and his embryonic Burger chain]]...
  • Even the Truth tapes have their moments. One in particular being the reveal that Zero tried dressing himself up for his meeting with Paz instead of just showing himself in pajamas. Not to mention the implications that the man thought that he could have worn pajamas, slack off and still have a commanding presence.
  • When you steal a vehicle-either by driving away in it or fultoning it-and its owner notices later, they'll report to their HQ and report it missing. HQ will call them back and say nobody's reported the vehicle stolen, somebody else needed it, so just continue on foot. If you're close enough to the soldier in question you'll over-hear them swearing about the situation!
  • The in-game description of the Water Pistol: "Water-based system. Operating the finely-tuned trigger connected to the high-capacity water pump launches a controlled stream of water from the muzzle."
    • For some reason, despite being no different from any ordinary squirt gun, it has recoil.
  • During the (in)famous "Lust for Revenge" scene, one XOF soldier just runs the Hell away.
  • A bit of Black Comedy, after Huey gives Skull Face a Mercy Kill.
    Huey: Revenge! (raises arms triumphantly)
    • That whole bit is a crowning example of either Cringe Comedy or Black Comedy: Kaz and Venom Snake just went through the incredibly nasty method of exacting revenge on Skull Face by blowing off the corresponding limbs that they lost nine years ago. But when they're done…and they see just what a miserable wretch they've left Skull Face as, they realize that the whole thing is utterly fucking pointless, and walk away and tell Skull Face to kill himself if he's in so much pain. They've lost so much over the years, and are just too jaded and pissed off to care anymore. Contrast this with Huey, whose "sufferings" at the hands of Skull Face et al (interrogation, insults, and being pushed down a flight of stairs) are laughable.
  • In one of the tapes talking about the "Les Enfantes Terribles" project, Ocelot completely butchers the pronunciation by actually sounding out the words as if they were English resulting in "lez en-fuhnts terribles." Snake jabs him about this, and Ocelot says he's never liked the French anyway. Which is likely a Call-Forward to a line of his in Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty: "I never trust a Frenchman." Also, Ocelot technically is French; he was born in Normandy, just before D-Day began.
  • Being gone from the Mother Base for a long time after recruiting D-Dog and having a high bond with him will result in this happening when Snake returns.
  • It is possible to hear two Mother Base soldiers talking about which one is more handsome, Miller or Ocelot. For context, it's two women talking.
  • When Snake brings Quiet to motherbase for the first time. Yes at all serious, what with Quiet's motives unknown. Then you remember that Quiet is probably the first female soldier you extract. With this in mind, you almost expect Miller to say "No Girls Allowed".
  • You can knock out any soldier with an empty magazine to the face right as they spot you.
    • Even better - you can do this to other players in Metal Gear Online with any non-lethal throwing weapon - like an Enemy Locator, for instance.
  • The reactions of the enemy soldiers can sometimes evoke a laugh, especially if you fulton extract them while they are still conscious. Despite how quickly it can shift into Nightmare Fuel if they catch you and start trying to turn you into swiss cheese, it can still be pretty funny to knock out an enemy soldier and then surprise their friends as they wonder why the hell their ally is currently napping, or just their reactions to your shenanigans in general. You can actually try playing through by extracting virtually every enemy unit you can encounter (which is easily done especially in Side Ops). Not for nothing is the fandom claim that part of Big Boss/Venom Snake's legend involved extracting the whole of the Soviet army stationed in Afghanistan.
    • The Afrikaner soldiers in particular can easily evoke a barrel of laughs from their reactions alone due to them being absurdly hammy and overreactive to what you do, even in a World of Ham like Metal Gear. Nothing quite evokes a guffaw like suddenly popping a decoy in front of them and watching them scream as if they had a heart attack.
    • And it doesn't end there; almost all of the quotes the soldiers say to wake up their allies are hilarious.
      Soldier: Get your ass up!
      Soldier: Hey, the circus is in town.
      Soldier: Rise and shine, sweetheart!
    • There's something subtly hilariously about fultoning a soldier wearing a helmet, after fultoning him if the helmet wasn't knocked off somehow it will fall from the sky to the ground with a quasi-comical *thunk* noise.
  • Soviet soldiers listening to "Kids in America".
  • "Boss, you killed a child..? Amazing. Mission complete. That right there is why you're the best, Boss."
    • For more humor, have one of the child soldiers die as you are close to the edge of the mission zone. You will hear iDroid say, "A child has died," before nonchalantly going back to repeating, "You are outside the mission area," as if the former statement was nothing more than a side thought.
  • There are two ways to get wandering Mother Base soldiers to immediately recognize Big Boss. One is to play the recording of Paz humming Love Deterrence or the song itself on the iDroid's speaker, which the soldiers will remember from their celebration following Peace Walker's destruction. The other is to walk around inside a cardboard box until the soldiers run up to it and salute. Guess they really know their Boss well enough.
  • Both in the True Ending and the Truth cassette tapes, our dorky Legendary Soldier, the real Big Boss, doesn't lose focus on what is important in life: smoking.