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The Bellacourt Family
  • Nouveau Riche: They're hillbillies with extravagant wealth, trying to live like kings, with only the faintest idea of how kings actually live.
  • Idle Rich: The sisters spend their entire days doing as little as possible, to the point of making their servants carry them from room to room. Their mother spends the day using opium. And Frederick, well…
    Frederick: Oh Garfield, sometimes I feel as though I have nothing. I can't be with the woman I love, I have no career, I have absolutely nothing to do all day except eat, take naps, hunt, relax, take drugs, play sporting games, do all the leisurely activities that please me… can you imagine not being able to follow your dreams?


Lillian Abigail Hitler Schmemmerhorn-Fish (née Bellacourt)
(Portrayed by Natasha Leggero)
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful—hate me because I'm an awful bitch. I'm Lillian. Good things come in small packages. And by good things, I mean penises, and by packages, I mean me."
— In her own words
The Commodore's and Dodo's daughter. Married to Victor.


Beatrice Tiffani Amber Thiessen Downsy (née Bellacourt)
(Portrayed by Riki Lindhome)
"I'm Beatrice. My name rhymes with sailboat. I like shiny objects, like diamonds and potatoes."
— In her own words
The Commodore's and Dodo's daughter. Married to Albert.
  • Brother–Sister Incest/Twincest: With Frederick. Their relationship survived Beatrice's marriage, because her husband's gay, but Frederick's marriage threw a wrench in things.


Dodo Bellacourt
(Portrayed by Paget Brewster)
"I'm Dodo. Being a matriarch means all my decisions involve what goes in and what comes out of my vagina. I've never met a child I didn't hate."
— In her own words
The Commodore's wife and matriarch of the family, Dodo is the mother of Hortense, Lillian, Beatrice, and Frederick.

    the Commodore 

Harold "the Commodore" Bellawitz Bellacourt
(Portrayed by David Koechner)

An illustrious magnet magnate (he invented magnets), the Commodore is the patriarch and founder of Bellacourt clan. He's the husband of Dodo, and father of Hortense, Lillian, Beatrice, and Frederick.

  • Self-Made Man:
    the Commodore: When I started, I was a simple fur trapper. Look at me now. My son will be married into the most powerful family on the eastern seaboard. Never again will they say, ‘You won't amount to anything, Harold Bellawitz’—I mean Bellacourt.
  • Ambiguously Jewish: See above


Hortense Jefferson Library Bellacourt
(Portrayed by Artemis Pendabi (pilot), Lauren Ash (rest of Season 1), and Lauren Flans (Season 2))
"Lady Hortense is my eldest daughter. She suffers from a variety of ailments, from photosensitivity to thigh heft. One can only hope she'll live a mercifully short life."
— In her mother's words
Hortense is the eldest daughter of the Bellacourt clan. She's a teetotaler and a suffragette.
  • Only Sane Woman: By modern standards, she's the only character with a clue.


Frederick Bellacourt

(Portrayed by Jason Ritter)
"My name is Frederick and I bathe in duck fat. What I lack in brains, I make up for in incest."
— In his own words
The only son and heir of the Bellacourt clan. Twin to Beatrice.
  • The Ditz/What an Idiot!: He thinks rocks are alive. He's even stupider than his sister, and unlike her, he doesn't show any signs of having Hidden Depths.
  • Brother–Sister Incest/Twincest: With Beatrice. Their relationship survived Beatrice's marriage, because her husband's gay, but Frederick's marriage threw a wrench in things.
  • Arranged Marriage: Frederick and Celery are betrothed to each other, mostly so that their fathers can seal a business deal. They have no love for each other, as Frederick is still in love with Beatrice and Celery realizes that Frederick is an idiot.
  • Mistaken for Gay: By Sigmund Freud. He was relieved to learn Frederick's actually straight for his sister.


Albert Downsy, Jr.
(Portrayed by David Wain)
"I'm Albert, and I like to party like it's 1899. I have gout of the penis."
— In his own words
Beatrice's husband, and Victor's lover.
  • Gay Best Friend: Albert is this to his wife Beatrice. He's the only one she trusts to do her hair and she often confides in him about her affair with Frederick.
    Beatrice: But I like Albert. He's the only one who can make my bangs fluffy.


Victor Schmemmerhorn-Fish V
(Portrayed by Brian Huskey)
"I'm Victor. I don't like sport. I'm a prince in the streets, but a lady in the sheets."
— In his own words
Lillian's husband, and Alfred's lover. At least believed to be the father of Lillian's 8 daughters.
  • Awful Wedded Life
    "The marriage involves a dowry, which is quite valuable. It's almost like a prize you get for enduring something horrible, or something that makes you want to throw up."
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Victor can fly into a rage at the drop of a hatpin.
  • Your Cheating Heart: Victor loves his boyfriend, but when Albert goes into a coma, he takes up with Victor's doctor. And technically, even being with Albert was cheating, because he's married to Lillian.



Mitchell "Mitch" P. Spiritwalker Peepers
(Portrayed by Michael Ian Black)

Mr. Peepers is the head butler in the Bellacourt household.


(Portrayed by Beth Dover)
"I have been diagnosed with hysteria, and because of that the state made Mr. Peepers my legal guardian. Which basically means he can throw me in the nuthouse just because goddamn feels like it."
— In her own words
Blanche is the head assistant housemaid in the Bellacourt household.
  • Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: She was the only patient at her mental institution that wasn't ravished. It really hurt her self esteem.
  • Hysterical Woman: She has only recently returned from the local insane asylum. The entire household (save Chair) takes great delight in scaring her into a screaming fit.


Celine Chair
(Portrayed by Christina Hendricks)

Chair is a servant in the Bellacourt household.


Garfield Leopold McGillicutty

(Portrayed by Armen Weitzman)
"I'm not a slave, I make 8 cents a week. If this is indentured servitude, I hope I never earn a living wage."
— In his own words


(Portrayed by Brett Gelman)

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