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Awesome / King of the Hill

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Don't mess with Rainey Street.

  • Peggy gets one in "Square Peg", where, despite feeling out of depth with teaching sex-ed due to, as she calls it, "the crippling sense of shame (she) got from (her) mother", and no one, not her friends, or (until the end) her husband are supportive, but she still resolutely tries to teach the class and get past her shame and repression, so that her son doesn't grow up as repressed as she and her fellow adults did. A particularly strong moment is when she stays up late one night to research the subject, and starts to falter for a moment, only to look at her teaching award and go back to reading. She spends days practicing just saying words like "penis" and "vagina" (which also leads to some funny moments when she yells the latter loud enough to be heard outside the house) until she gets it. At the end, even when it is revealed that no one except Bobby was allowed by their parents to attend, she still teaches Bobby and treats the class seriously.
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  • Dale, the ant exterminator, in the climax of "King Of The Ant Hill," saving poor Bobby who's covered with thousands of fire ants (it's a long story). Just a moment ago, Dale was fleeing from an angry Hank who was threatening to kick his ass for intentionally destroying his lawn. And suddenly, as soon as he sees Bobby in danger, Dale makes up for that and more with a (thankfully non-lethal) Heroic Sacrifice, without a moment's hesitation. This took balls.
    Dale: Take my hand, Bobby. The ants will swarm on me.
    Bobby (scared for his life): What if they don't?!
    Dale: [chuckles] Oh, they will. [takes Bobby's hand, and is promptly swarmed with the fire ants] They've been waiting to get a piece of me for fifteen years. Come and get it, boys! [he struggles for a bit...] Ouch. [then he collapses]
  • In "Hank's Back Story" Hank is revealed to have a "diminished gluteal syndrome", a genetic trait that basically reveals Hank doesn't have an ass. When Hank is prescribed a "prosthetic posterior", basically a fake butt, Hank is ready to get extremely mad at the idea. Dr. Tate expertly shoots Hank down with an excellent argument, making him relent, a rare achievement.
    Hank: You want me to wear a fake heinie?
    Dr. Tate: Mr. Hill, are your shoes fake feet?
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  • In "Death of a Propane Salesman", Boomhauer gives a speech about death. He hits up some pretty standard points, but it's one of the longest sustained sections of Boomhauer-speak on the show, and it's also strangely kinda deep.
  • Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer beating a bunch of rowdy teenagers (voiced by the members of Green Day) at a game of paintball. It's way more awesome than it sounds. After getting their asses handed to them twice over by said teenagers, Hank and company decide to study their targets, leading to two separate Moments of Awesome...
    • Dale shooting out two teens lured by Luanne's answering machine message.
    • After the rest of their respective teams are out, the leader of the teams disrespects the ball guy while asking where Hank is.... only to find out that it was Hank in disguise and promptly gets a chest full of paint.
    • And this is after the teens spent the whole episode tormenting Hank and CO on and off the field. Not only that but Hank wins their amp as a prize after they spent most of the episode annoying Hank with their loud music too. And to cap it off Hank and friends, and a local old man, leave a flaming bag of dog poo on the teens porch just to rub salt in the wounds. Bad. Ass.
    • Them fixing the kid's car just so he could show up for a rematch. They lost off camera, but still.
    • That's the moment they REALLY prove they are men rather than the kids they are fighting. Also note that when Hank announces that the kids have lost, their leader, the 'tough' kid that has been harassing them, has a quivering lower lip like he's about to cry from the defeat. Served.
  • Luanne and Lucky collecting the wedding/baby shower gifts that the other neighbors didn't give them (complete with Lucky's redneck friends acting as enforcers) in "The Order of the Straight Arrow"
  • "Bobby Goes Nuts" is awesome for seeing Bobby fight back against the people who bullied him (Clark Peters, Chane Wassanasong, and even his own father, for those who think Hank is always too hard on Bobby) and Peggy fighting back against Bobby when Bobby disrespects Hank.
  • Bobby saving the life of a pig in "The Perils of Polling". When he sees that nobody else is doing anything, he rushes to the pool, jumps in and frees the pig's leg from a hose. After surfacing, someone fears the pig is dead. Bobby then turns to the guy and states "Not this pig. Not today." He promptly gets the pig to resume breathing, and is proclaimed a hero.
  • In "The Powder Puff Boys", Hank, Bobby and the others get the PTA president to reinstate the "Powder Puff" program, which she deemed sexist for having boys dress as girls, by reading to her an excerpt from the school code stating that any type of transsexual activity, including crossdressing, shouldn't be prohibited.
    • And also for Bobby, who (after Powder Puff is cut) rallies the boys to quickly don their outfits and do their act in the stands, in full defiance of the ban.
  • Hank's propane worship can get grating, so it actually feels real good to see it knocked down a peg. One instance is in Girl, You'll Be A Giant Soon, where Hank is outraged because the Texas State Fair does not allow Propane at the grill-off, and is ranting about it to everyone he meets. No one but him cares, which riles him up further. But Bill, who has quite a few more serious problems than that, is not having any of it and speaks up for a change.
    Bill: (Sarcastically) Yeah, poor, poor Hank with his wife and his son and his hair. No one will let him grill with propane!
  • Despite his general idiocy in the episode, Dale gets a minor moment in "The Courtship of Joseph's Father" when he successfully silences Hank by asking if he really cares about what Joseph wants, or if he just wants a winning football team. Hank, stunned for a moment, takes the high road by deflecting Dale's question and saying it should still be Joseph's choice.
  • What about when Bill ties the record for most touchdowns, against the strongest defense in H.S football, and almost every defensive line trying to take down the old, injured player. He not only survived and got a touchdown, but the other players learned to respect him.
  • Bobby wants to quit little league football (the coach is psychotic, but Hank doesn't know) and take up soccer instead:
    Hank: Bobby, I never thought I'd need to tell you this, but I would be a bad parent if I didn't. Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking.
    Bobby: Why do you have to hate what you don't understand?
  • Hank knocking out the coach after realizing how bad he was.
    • It's even better when context: Hank sees the Coach chasing after the kids in his car, promptly stops the sociopath and then decks him when the guy tries to justify it.
  • "Dia-Bill-ic Shock":
    • After Bill's Jerkass doctor scares him into believing he'll succumb to and die from complications of diabetes (because of his nonstop junk food eating), Bill not only kept his blood sugar down, but went to the hospital and personally kicked the doctor's ass, which was ignored by a nurse that the doctor was rude to earlier in the episode.
    • Earlier in the episode, Bill had been ostracized from the local wheelchair rugby team due to him standing up (they had thought he'd already lost the use of his legs) and being unable to prove he's diabetic. As he's home downing bag after bag of sugar trying to become diabetic again, the team leader, Thunder, came over with Hank (who had filled him in on the situation), slaps the sugar out of Bill's hand and told Bill that he managed to beat diabetes, something most people can't do their entire lives, in a matter of months by just living healthy and that is far more inspirational than he was before. This managed to inspire the literal asskicking above.
  • Dale's plot to save his friends from a nutter who was elected president of the gun club: Hank, Bill and Boomhauer were held captive in Mad Dog's cabin and Dale tried to rescue them but was easily caught. However, Dale was able to play to Mad Dog's paranoia by pretending he was a CIA contract killer and was receiving radio messages. At that moment, a stream of florist vans swarms the property and due to Dale previously telling the gun club his favorite tactic is to bring in CIA agents disguised as flower delivery men everyone thinks it really is the CIA and Mad Dog flees. The gun club unties Dale and immediately re-elects him as president, letting him go outside and show the flowermen his CIA badge (really just opening his wallet to show he has no money) and sic them on Mad Dog (tell them Mad Dog has money to pay). In one single move Dale rescues his friends, gets rid of Mad Dog, earns the gun club's respect and even (in a way) lives one of his favorite stories.
  • The graffiti in The Hole.
    COTTON HILL - 2 days
    BOBBY HILL - 3 days
    • To properly set the scene, Bobby was misbehaving as per usual, and Cotton convinced Hank to send him off to Fort Burke (a military school). Cotton finds out that due to lawsuits it's been toned down on the punishment (hazing was reduced from beating new recruits with socks full of oranges to smashing trash can lids together on the first night) after being told this Cotton tries to take over the place. The principal tells him he has no right to fire him (Cotton gets him fired by talking with his dean). Cotton takes over punishing him harder. He begins with making him rake leaves and Bobby makes jokes (pretends he's eating them) Cotton makes him eat all the leftover food from the other cadets. Bobby happily eats them so Cotton makes him sit on a large block of ice in his underwear and Bobby waits it out (He says his fat makes it easy for him to survive the cold).Then he's forced into the Hole and he outlasts Cotton when he was a kid. The best part is the second he gets out he sees his other cadets, smiles and cracks a joke.
    • Overlapping as a Heartwarming is that Bobby reveals at the very end how he did it; At first he started to get worried, but then he saw the graffiti as his motivation to pull through.
  • From "Jon Vitti Presents: Return to La Grunta": Hank tossing a perverted golfer (voiced by Billy West) who was groping Luanne during her job as a golf course drink girl and tossing the golfer in the tank with the dolphin who humped Hank earlier in the episode.
    Hank: You think you can touch anyone you want anywhere you want? You think it's okay because no one says it's not?
  • Peggy saving Buckley from Luanne's drunken jailbird mother Leanne, and then calling her out for making a fool of herself during Bill's pre-engagement party, while also pointing out how selfish she had been acting towards her daughter and Bill.
    Peggy: Leanne, whether you like the title or not, you are this girl's mother. She has been waiting her whole life for just a shred of attention from you, but you don't know how to return even a fraction of the love you get from your child. Or from your man. I hope someday you can live without alcohol, but until that day we can all live very nicely without you.
    • Shortly afterwards, Peggy is forced to defend herself from Leanne when she tricks her into lowering her guard, which ends with Peggy kicking Leanne's ass with her size 16 1/2 feet.
      Leanne: I kicked your brother's ass and I will kick yours too, sissy!
      Peggy: Well, there is one thing that you did not count on! My brother has got size six feet! BUT I DON'T! HO YEAH!!!
  • In "That's What She Said," Hank washing Rich's (voiced by Ben Stiller) mouth out with soap after putting up with his lame, sex jokes and innuendo (after failing to get Buck Strickland to fire him and opting not to sue for sexual harassmentnote ).
  • In "Dang Ol' Love", Bill, constant series loser, pulling heartbroken Boomhauer out of his funk with a truly epic rant .
    Bill: I know how dark it is for you right now, curled up, lying in your own emotional vomit. You're in hell now Boomhauer, and the only way out is through a long dark tunnel. And you're afraid to go in, because there's a train coming at ya, carrying a box car full of heartbreak. Well let me tell you something, all you can do is let it hit you, and then try to find your legs. Mm-hmm. I know, I've taken that hit more times than I can remember. Look at me, Boomhauer. I'm fat and I'm old, and every day I'm just gonna wake up fatter and older! And somehow I manage to drag this fat old bald bastard into the alley everyday. I'm out there, digging holes, falling into them, climbing out, trying again. And tomorrow, I'm gonna hang outside at a ladies prison. And the first thing those lady cons are gonna see after twenty years, is me. Will I get one? Experience says no. Will I be out there next month? If I'm alive, you better believe it. [Grabs Boomhauer's shoulder, his voice getting steadily louder] You gotta get back up on that tanning bed, slip into a tight T-shirt, wash off some of that cologne, and get yourself out of that tunnel, and into some strange woman's bed!
  • A McMansion gets built in the neighborhood, and the construction is so shoddy that during a large thunderstorm, it threatens to actually fall apart and destroy several houses around it. What does the community do? GRAB HAMMERS, AXES, CHAINSAWS, AND A TRUCK AND TEAR THE DAMN THING DOWN WHILE THE THUNDERSTORM IS RAGING AROUND THEM. (provides the current page image).
  • After being a rampaging Know-Nothing Know-It-All for most of the show's run, Peggy's Moment of Awesome came in "Death Picks Cotton", where she calls Cotton out for being a crappy father to Hank and wishing he would just die already.
    Peggy: Enough! Your son has always loved you despite your constant torture. You want to die alone? Fine. You want to keep coming back and never die? That's fine too. In fact, I hope you do go on living forever as the unhappy person you are in the hell you have created here on this earth. I hope you live forever. I really do.
    • Of course, he then one-ups her and dies, right then and there, with a "Do ya, now?" as his last words and a smile on his face. Then again, Cotton didn't really come off as "awesome" in this regard when you think about it. Either he's alone and miserable or he's dead. He played right into Peggy's hands. But what makes it such a great moment for Peggy is that even though Cotton had treated her like crap ever since he'd met her, she didn't chew him out in defense of her own ego, but rather in defense of Hank. It was a long-overdue "The Reason You Suck" Speech that she delivered out of love for her husband instead of hate for her Jerkass father-in-law, and from Peggy, that was pretty rad.
  • Cotton gets one of his own when he meets the kids Luanne has for roommates, who are an infuriating trio of wannabe hippies who accuse anyone who tries to exert the slightest bit of control over them of being a Nazi. As you might imagine, this is not the smartest thing to say to a World War II veteran - you know, someone who actually knows what a Nazi is and has fought them (depending on which part of his claims are true, at least).
    Hippy: Get your hands off me, you Nazi!
    Cotton: WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' A NAZZY?! (headbutt)
  • Hank gets one in Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men to Cotton in the perfect Shut Up, Hannibal! on how Tilly left him, not the other way around, and that Cotton's afraid of strong women, and that Cotton is afraid of being all alone. All the while convincing some corporate stiffs to keep his mower in production.
    Hank: My mower is not too old and my Mom was not too old. But this isn't about my Mom and it certainly isn't about my mower! It's about a bitter old man who blames everybody but himself for his own problems. And if you ever talk about my Mom or my mower like that again, you're not welcome in my house!
  • Hank gets one during the Halloween Episode where an Evangelical Christian Moral Guardian has Halloween banned because she thinks it's a Satanic holiday. Hank starts a protest by putting on his old devil costume (despite that it's a child-sized costume and would have ripped the minute Hank tried it on) and chants "Trick or treat", followed by everyone (including Luanne) coming out in makeshift costumes.
    • Bill then gets a crowning moment of funny when he comes out in a ghost costume and inadvertently turns it into a toga when he rips it.
    • Peggy gets one when she calls out Luanne for taking Bobby to the Hallelujah House without telling her.
      Peggy: Whoa, little Missy, you— hold it right there! I've had it up to here with your baloney! I have taken you into my home, I have sheltered and fed you, but if you step between my husband and his son, I will cast you out like yesterday's garbage!
      Luanne: (stammering) But, but... ah—
      Peggy: Uh-uh. From now on, you leave the parenting to us. We get a magazine about it.
  • Peggy's speech to Luanne in "Wings of the Dope":
    Peggy: Luanne, you have wanted to go to beauty school since you were six! You have wanted to graduate beauty school since you were twelve! If you give up on school, honey, you are giving up on your dreams. "Education is the sleeping pill that makes dreams happen." - Peggy Hill.
  • Peggy already had one in "Beer and Loathing", when she serves the Alamo board the tainted beer while wearing her free Alamo swag. That's getting it done.
    • She gets extra points in that she didn't brag to Hank what she accomplished at the end of the episode even though she had every right to. Earlier, Hank had guilt-tripped Peggy into telling him what was going on with Alamo Beer after she signed a confidentiality agreement. After she told Hank he couldn't tell the guys, they also guilt tripped him the next day and he reveals that the beer shipments were diverted to Mexico. After Peggy learned that Hank went down to Mexico with the guys and believed they got sick from Mexican bananas, she tried to convince Hank to dump the beer, and while she couldn't tell him why, she asked him to trust her. Hank wouldn't, and when he figured out the beer was tainted he made Peggy drink a can of it (albeit he did so by trying to make her admit the beer was tainted). The next day Hank marched down to Alamo headquarters and demanded an apology from the owner of the company, and Hank was promptly accused of slander. Hank assumed that, at the end, when the owner of Alamo apologized on a commercial, the apology was meant directly to Hank. The fact that Peggy didn't correct Hank is surprisingly big of her.
      • Peggy refusing to back down and chugging down Hank's guilt-beer (to his shock) is a pretty impressive move, even if she does expectantly get sick afterwards.
  • In "Tankin' It to the Streets", Bill suffers a breakdown after being told that government experiments he got when he joined the Army are the reason he's fat, bald, and hairy and deals with it by getting drunk and stealing a tank. When he wallows in self-pity, Hank tells him that he's still the great person he was back in high school, just inside a body wrecked by experimentation. When they drive the tank back to the base, a police car pulls them over. Bill gets out of the tank and gives the cops a verbal dressing-down, explaining why they're driving a tank down the street in the middle of the night and he's in nothing but boxers, and caps it all off by ordering the female cop to give him her name and phone number and leave her Saturday night open so he can take her out dancing. And it works.
    • Later in the same episode, having found out that the experimentation didn't actually do anything to him (and thus everything was his fault all along) and coming under fire from soldiers in the army games thinking they're an active drone tank (with artillery), Bill tells the rest of the guys to get out, reassuring them that he will jam the tank and follow. He then takes the tank and drives it far away before the final shell hits it. Miraculously, he survives with only a broken hand.
  • In "It Ain't Over Till The Fat Neighbor Sings", Bill joins an all-male chorus called the Harmonaholics to deal with his depression and Dale is denied repeatedly by Hank to say anything that might hurt Bill's feelings because Bill has finally found something that makes him happy (even though Hank is also repulsed by the chorus). It's not until the guys learn that Bill is at risk of being imprisoned for flaking on his duties to the U.S. Army to sing with the chorus that Hank gives Dale permission to tell Bill what he REALLY thinks of the Harmonaholics, and damn is it cathartic!
    Dale: Bill!! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have you seen what you're wearing?! That outfit makes you look like a sequined train wreck! Look at you!! You're part of a twelve-headed jackass! This chorus is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity! You people make me envy the deaf and the blind!
    • Becomes a moment of funny at the end. Dale literally collapses, clawing at Bill, saying, "Underwear! Money! Fat!"
  • "Life in the Fast Lane: Bobby's Saga", where Bobby has to work at the race track for a moronic, drunk, abusive boss (Jimmy Wichard). Hank doesn't see anything is happening until Dale (of all people) tells Hank who stupid and crazy Wichard really is, and then Hank sees Bobby is told to cross the race-track in the middle of a race to give his boss a soda. Hank pulls him back to safe ground, runs across the track himself, kicks through the chainlink fence separating him from Jimmy, and proceeds to kick his ass all over the back alley.
    • It's one of the few times Hank actually makes good on his threat of "I'll kick your ass!" And by god does he kick ass.
    • The way he turns his "Bwaaah!" into a Battle Cry.
  • For all of his stupidity, Bobby still gets one in "Hank's Bully". Basically, a young boy named Caleb starts harassing Hank. Hank's hands are tied, because, well, the kid's very young, and his parents have no interest in disciplining him. So, Hank tells Bobby that he basically wants him to ignore everything he told him about being a nice person, and turns him loose on the Caleb's parents, being just as big a nuisance to them as their kid was to Hank. Having learned their lesson, they start punishing Caleb after that.
  • Dale helping Hank getting his driver's license changed so it identifies him as a male instead of a female by using his rampant paranoia to his advantage for once. (To clarify, Dale intimidates the employee who continuously refused to change Hank's license by rattling off his knowledge of the entire chain of command, above the employee and straight to the commissioner, and their respective numbers, so he could make some phone calls to complain.)
    Dale: I am your worst nightmare! I have a three-line phone and nothing at all to do with my time!
  • Kahn gets one in the episode "Orange You Sad I Did Say Banana". In the episode, Kahn begins to feel he's not in touch with his Laotian heritage after Ted Wasongasong calls him a "Banana" (An Asian who acts white, similar to an "Oreo"note ) and tries to act more like a "traditional" Laotian (Much to the dismay of Connie and Mihn). However, when he finds out that Ted wants him to fight in a battle against the Laotian government (a battle which he points out he'll most likely either die in or be brain-washed in), he calls Ted (A man he idolizes the the point of Ho Yay) out on it.
    Kahn: It's like this. If you someone want to play a round of golf, give me call. If you want someone to feel guilty about the way they choose to live, call someone else!
    • Here's another one (probably minor) for Kahn: in the episode showing the aftermath of the explosion at Megalo Mart, he calls out Luanne for acting as a bitter Soapbox Sadie who hides her emotional pain and true personality.
    • And another, greater one when he finally blows up on "Big" Willy Lane for being an obnoxious Jerkass who bullies him, constantly throws loud, disruptive parties each night, and shirks any accountability for his behavior by coasting on his long-spent 15 minutes of football fame:
      Big Willy: (throws a football at Khan) A little help?
      Khan: Help?! How about I help you get the hell out of my neighborhood, you big, fat, muscle-headed, redneck load of pig-dog waste!
      Big Willy: ...Did you just call me a PIG?
      Kahn: Oh, you don't like that? Well, too bad! I cannot take this any more! I don't get any sleep at night! I can't focus at my job! My little girl, she cannot study! And all because some big, dumb slob played a little football and "blocked a kick"! I don't even know that the hell it means to "block a kick," but I know that if you can do it, ANY IDIOT COULD!
  • In the episode "The Redneck Of Rainy Street", Connie manages to get one as she continues to work hard and pursue her goals long after her parents had given up and decided to live a "hillbilly" lifestyle.
    • To quote Hank-"Yeah, you got a real bum deal but maybe you should take a lesson from Connie instead of these apes! Even when you and Minh went off the deep end, Connie never gave in and she never stopped trying! You couldn't bring that girl down into the muck if you tried!"
    • Also to quote Khan-"Yes, yes, you're right! Connie like a beautiful lotus growing out of the muck! That's her hook!"
    • Connie actually getting into the summer college program in the end (even if she had to lie and say she came from a trailer trash family, though it was mostly true, given the events of the episode).
  • Hank managing to stop a group of rioting kids in "Bobby Rae". Not by yelling at them and/or threatening to kick their asses, but by calmly pointing out all the horrible things that might happen to them while protesting (which is based on what police officers did to hippie protesters in the 1960s).
  • Bobby reassuring Peggy at the end of "Transnational Amusements Presents: Peggy's Magic Sex Feet" that she shouldn't be ashamed of her feet just because the perverted podiatrist said so:
    Peggy: I actually let myself believe that these were beautiful. Can you imagine? Peggy Hill, that's stupid.
    Bobby: I can imagine, Mom. I'm fat.
    Peggy: Oh, no, honey, you're husky! It says so on your jeans.
    Bobby: Mom, I'm fat. But big deal. I don't feel bad about it, and you never made me feel bad about it. And just because there are people out there who want me to feel bad about it doesn't mean I have to. So Bobby Hill's fat. He's also funny, he's nice, he's got a lot of friends, a girlfriend. And if you don't mind, I think I'll go outside right now and squirt her with water. What are you going to do?
  • Buck actually gets one during the episode at the national propane gas association convention (which, considering his character, is hard to believe). After he and his recently discovered son Ray Roy's actions drive Hank to get sloshed, humiliate himself in front of a huge crowd, and barf on one of the platinum circle women, Buck and Ray Roy hatch a plan, along with Peggy. Drawing the punishment board away from Hank with a promise of a "hospitality suite", Buck and Ray Roy offer them alcohol and a bevy of drunk and loose women who will readily frame them for and accuse them of sexual misconduct, costing them their marriages and their jobs. When the punishment board catches wise, not only do they not punish Hank, but they induct him into the Hall of Flame with Buck.
    • An earlier moment that was both CMOF and CMOA for Peggy was when she found out Hank was in trouble. She kicks the door to the bar Buck and Ray are drinking at and Buck is scared, calling her one of the big dogs.
    • Another awesome moment for Buck is when he fires Vickers. To put in context, Vickers takes over the role of manager after Buck is sent to the hospital and does a lot of changes that displeases the other employees such as putting tattler boxes in the trucks. This leads to Hank and eventually all the other employees quitting. Vickers claims he can get other drivers, but then Joe Jack laughs and asks if his drivers are HAZMAT certified.
      Vickers: HAZMAT?
      Buck: (on the phone with Vickers) HAZARDOUS MATERIAL! Vickers, you moron! You need a special license to drive a propane truck!
      Vickers: It's all right, sir. I—I can get to "Yes". I'll hire a new batch of drivers right away.
      Buck: You listen to me, goddang it! It's the goddang height of the season. There's no drivers from here to goddang city! YOU'RE FIRED!!!
      • How does Hank save the day? By having his friends tow the gas tanks, stating you don't need a HAZMAT license to drive a tow truck.
  • When Hank rescues Bobby from Arkansas, and lets Buck Strickland jump in the back of his truck as he's being pursued by a bunch of thugs. Strickland shouts at them, taunting them and calling them sons of bitches, and Hank slows down just enough to let one of the thugs punch Strickland in the face. It's one of those rare moments of Hank punishing Strickland for being a sleazeball. Hank's little smile as he does so is just gravy.
    • To make it even sweeter, at the end of the episode Buck is left shivering in the back of Hank’s truck. Shirtless, with only Golf Club socks to keep his greedy ass warm!
  • In The Incredible Hank, Peggy drugs Hank with testosterone to make him feel better, and decides to give him more and more. She then thinks he's getting too much strength and aggression and cuts him off, causing him to lose all his strength. This wouldn't be a problem except that Hank had signed up for Arlen's version of Spain's Running of the Bulls. The moment comes after he loses all his testosterone, including the natural amount the body normally makes, leaving him weaker than he should be. When he finds out about this, does he bow out, as many, like Peggy urges him to do? No, despite admitting he's scared, and even refusing to use the corrective testosterone patch (YMMV on whether that adds to his bravery, or just makes him Honor Before Reason regarding the matter), Hank gives a determined speech to Bobby and Peggy that makes it clear that he'll see it through or die trying.
    • Later on he successfully (read: does not die) runs with the bulls without any testosterone whatsoever. This even inspires Bobby to face the disgusting shared shower he'd been afraid of through the whole episode.
  • Luanne in "Keeping Up With Our Joneses": The Hill Family becomes addicted to cigarette smoking, thanks to Hank. Luanne remains the only member of the household not addicted, and takes on the duty of making sure the Hills dodn't stray from their attempt to give it up. It reaches the point where all three Hills are willing to kill one another over a single cigarette, until Luanne locks them inside Hank and Peggy's bedroom. They remain there for the night until they beat their collective addiction together. It's what Luanne says as she's locking them inside that really clinches it:
    Luanne: I am sick and tired of dysfunctional families! I came from one, and I'm not gonna let it happen to you. Now FUNCTION! FUNCTION, DAMN YOU!
    • Luanne also gets another, albeit minor, one when going into labor with Gracie. After being caught in a tug-of-war on child-rearing between her sister-in-law Myrna and her aunt Peggy, she finally stands up for herself and takes a third choice: hers.
  • In the final episode, Bobby single-handedly takes on the state meat-grading championship after the rest of his team is stranded by their rivals. After the team disparages him and treats him like crap for making a mistake at regionals. The crowner comes at the end, where the team shows up and forces Bobby onto the sidelines on the assumption that he'll choke. On the final challenge, they're about to declare a cut of beef perfect, but Bobby sees an imperfection. Hank tells him to stand up for himself and Bobby goes over and, against the protests of his team, points out the flaw, winning the competition entirely on his own.
  • Peggy gets one during the episode when Bobby starts using a ventriloquist dummy. Hank is at first utterly mortified that Bobby is "playing with a doll", until Bobby begins using the dummy, Chip, to display knowledge of sports events and history. But it becomes increasingly clear that Hank is having more fun with Chip than with Bobby, and actually tells Bobby to suck it up when he complains that his hand's getting numb. Dale destroys the dummy due to an irrational fear of the thing, and Hank to decides to build a new dummy, one based off of Chip in his own image. Peggy is instantly aware that Hank is taking this opportunity to build the perfect surrogate son, constructing it to be everything he wishes Bobby was. She suggests this to Hank:
    Peggy: While you're at it, you can use the leftover lumber, to build the wife you've always wanted too.
    • At first, it appears Peggy's words don't get through to Hank, until he finally finishes, and the dummy is now designed to look exactly like Bobby.
  • The entire Hill family (the main three, anyway) had one collectively in the episode where they take down the corrupt city council, thanks to the chairman forcing low-flow toilets on Arlen to combat the drought. Hank joins the council to affect change, Bobby discovers that the chairman owns the company that makes the low-flows, and Peggy gives him the idea to filibuster by having Hank read Peggy's musings until the other members have to go to the bathroom, which convinces them that the low-flows are garbage and gets them to vote to get rid of them.
  • Peggy's con in "The Substitute Spanish Prisoner" qualifies. A "professor" takes advantage of a bunch of poor, stupid, and gullible people, including Peggy, conning them all into paying for a "doctorate" diploma and refusing to give refunds. So Peggy gets all of the other people who were scammed together to pull off a fairly obvious con at the Econo Suites. They have the guy bet his money in a fake gambling parlor and make it look like he'll win big, only the guy (hip to the scam from the very beginning) pulls out with the money before his "luck can change". Bobby then lets the scam slip to Hank, who already assumed (correctly at first) that Peggy was in over her head, and goes to angrily confront the guy, who quickly stashes the money in a room safe. After the guy points out the illegality of what Peggy and the others did, Hank leaves, only for the scammer to discover his room safe is gone. When he goes to the front desk, he learns the Econo Suites don't have room safes. Peggy had Boomhauer secretly put one in and then removed it while the guy was distracted by Hank. The group gets their money back, and to top it off Peggy had a scheme ready in case Hank did actually have faith in her: fake valet parking. Ho yeah.
  • In the episode where Peggy is secretly slipping Hank testosterone pills, a more alert Hank took the opportunity to dismantle Dale's latest conspiracy by pointing out that it contradicts numerous other conspiracies he's ranted about over the years, leaving Dale speechless as Hank effortlessly demonstrates that he's been listening to every insane thing that has come out of Dale's mouth over the years and paid attention to it.
  • A minor one, but in the episode "Texas City Twister", Hank tries to get Luanne to move back into her old trailer when he finds out the park is still trying to charge her rent. What's awesome is the exchange from when the wrench carrying loan shark comes to his house:
    Hank: Yes, she used to live there. But it flipped over and now she lives with us.
    Shark: Sir, if you're calling me a liar, you better be holding something stronger than an umbrella.
    Hank: 9-iron?
    Shark: ... Have a nice day, sir.
  • In "Ceci N'Est Pas une King of the Hill," Dale becomes Drunk with Power thanks to his new suit of armor as he goes on picking on everyone, even a little kid. Having had enough of it, Bill makes his own suit of armor (Mostly out of trash cans and junk) and stands up to Dale - and wins.
  • When Lenore comes back into Bill's life and ruins his relationship with Ann Richards, Bill proposes to Lenore again and she turns him down. Then she sees Ann and announces that Bill proposed to her. When Lenore begins shrieking like a harpy for Bill to get out of Ann's car, Bill finally tells Lenore where to stick it by mooning her.
    Ann: And while you're at it, blow her a kiss!
    • The reason his relationship with Ann even happened was because he took the blame for Hank accidentally mooning her in an elevator, and even when she calls it off, she admits she knew this all along and was impressed (and attracted) that he wanted to save his friend. So she of course was just as proud of him for doing the above afterwards, and rewards him with a ride back home even though the car was already parked at Hank's house and Bill's was just to the right.
  • In one episode, Bobby becomes the latest "project" for a trio of older girls who start patronizing him like their pet. When they're being accosted by a couple of stoners, Bobby actually defends the girls and tells the two to back off, despite the fact that the girls were just using him for their amusement. The stoners are pretty impressed by how brave Bobby is being for people who don't deserve it, and tell the girls off for mistreating him.
  • In one episode, Kahn offers Bobby $300 dollars to break up with Connie, trying to say that they're no good for each other and he knows it. Bobby responds "I will be a prop comic, Connie will be a concert violinist, and we will make it work! This is the future! You'd better get used to it!" and storms off.
  • The finale of "Boxing Luanne." She finds out only after challenging Freeda Foreman —as in, the daughter of George Foreman— that her boxing career has been a mere Jiggle Show for a bunch of drunk men, and all her opponents were patsies hired to take a dive. Luanne takes a big payoff to throw the match she obviously can't win, but seeing the guys in the audience continuing to drool over her while she waits for the 10-count makes Luanne change her mind. She gets back up at the count of 9 and begins fighting for real, while the guys who were catcalling and ogling her moments before start cheering her on and yelling actual encouragement, and she even manages to get a few good shots in on Foreman. Does she win? Of course not; her opponent was Freeda Foreman. Does she lose on points, but still hold her ground and go the distance against a far superior opponent? HO YEAH!
  • Bill pulling Peggy and Hank out of their house when it gets flooded with gas due to Hank improperly installing a water heater. Ladybird gets one by pulling Bobby out of the house too.
  • Everyone gets one in the Christmas episode where Hank, Bobby and friends go trucking to Hank's mom's retirement village. They get caught on top of a mountain while low on fuel and have to do a tricky maneuver to scale down the mountain. Hank and Bobby take the wheel and steer the semi backwards down a mountain road with Boomhauer giving commands on when to turn. When the stuff in the trailer starts to fall out, Bill charges at the massive pile and pushes it back single-handedly. Dale... well, he didn't screw anything up this time. That's pretty impressive.
    • The other truckers, who were listening in on the CB Radio, are in awe of Hank. Most of them admit they would have died trying something like that. And when they realize Hank was only on regular black coffee when he pulled that off, he gets his own trucker song in the style of "Convoy".
  • In "The Exterminator" Dale is told that if he inhales anymore poison he'll die, forcing him to give up his career as a pest exterminator. He gets an office job and things go well until a massive swarm of roaches (which Dale bred) takes over the lunch room. Dale goes into Combat Pragmatist mode and kills every single one of them with various office supplies and his own hands. The battle ends when he crawls into the vent they're spewing from, spins like a turbine and crushes all of them.
  • All of Cotton's WWII flashbacks and stories count (assuming they're true) but the first is still the best: The loss of his shins. The flashback ends with the visual of Cotton beating a man to death with his friend's severed leg on top of a pile of corpses and surrounded by burning buildings, after he had his shins blown off.
    Cotton: I was 14, just a little older than Bobby. But I knew Uncle Sam needed me, so I lied and signed up. We had beat the Nazzys in Italy, and they shipped me to the Pacific theater. A Tojo torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom. I could only save three of my buddies: Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas [to Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer], only one of them was from Brooklyn. Out of the sun came a Tojo Zero and put fitty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks. I had to give 'em Fatty. Then things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island, but it was full of Tojos! They were spitting on the U.S. flag! So I rushed 'em, but it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Last thing I remember, I beat 'em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing my feet to my knees.
  • In Bobby Slam, Peggy begins to encourage Connie's desire to be on the school wrestling team despite the sexist coach constantly spouting "girls can't play sports". Peggy and Connie go to Kahn and Minh, who decide to support Connie's decision since it'd look good on her college applications. When they go to Principal Moss, he offers that Connie take gymnastics instead. As he puts it, "Asian girls usually excel at gymnastics. With their tiny little feet, balance beam seems as wide as a sidewalk." Both Kahn and Minh looked as if they wanted to tear Moss's throat out, and then order him to let Connie try out for the team or they'll sue for racial/sexual discrimination.
    • Later, the sexist coach gets back at Peggy and Minh and Kahn by pairing Bobby with Connie, trapping them in a no win situation. If Bobby wins, he will be labeled as a girl beater and Connie's chance for a scholarship will be jeopardized, but if Bobby loses, all the boys will make fun of him for losing to a girl. Bobby and Connie decide the only way to get out of this situation is to fake their fight using wresting moves used in the WWE, earning the respect of both the teachers and their classmates.
  • In Escape from Party Island, Bill's stalker tendencies go into overdrive while Hank is babysitting his mom and her friends. After numerous, not-so-subtle, and rather disturbing advances to Peggy, leading up to her not arriving at a barbecue he planned solely for her, he shows up at Bobby's little league game the next day. He's wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday and is covered in smoke, implying there was a fire, and then starts crying and screaming at Bobby's coach to let him play because he's "responsible for that boy". While Peggy is facepalming, Bill tells her he's "not angry at her", at which point she angrily tells him to get his arm off her and shoves him off the bleachers with her backhand.
  • Wynonna Judd's response to Hank attempting to solicit propane in Peggy's Fan Fair can be this for those annoyed by Hank's religious obsession with and tendency to push it onto people.
    Wynonna Judd: I was raised with charcoal. I'll die with charcoal. So back off!
  • In Business Is Picking Up, Bobby starts up a service for cleaning trash up around the community college. Hank and Peggy, naturally, disagree with this, telling him it's a "disrespectful" career choice. Bobby snaps back with this:
    "First you want me to have a future, now it's respect. I can't hit a moving target, Dad! ... Other than the fact that it's not the great almighty propane, show me just one downside to my career!" (Bobby then storms off)
    • Hank then goes to Peter, the owner of the Earth Cleaners, telling him that while he respects his job, it's not the kind Bobby should have since it'll just make him even more unpopular whereas Peter could pull it off since he's handsome, rich and charismatic. Peter understands and stages himself getting beat up by a bunch of bullies in order to show Bobby that it's not the job for him.
  • In "Hank's Dirty Laundry", Hank's social life and perfect credit get destroyed when a video store falsely charges an unreturned porno film to his credit card. He takes it to court, and wins handily, using the lead porn actress' ass tattoo and the date of her 18th birthday debut video as proof that the porno didn't even exist at the date he supposedly rented it.
    • Special mention goes to Bill, who anonymously provides Hank with the porn videos to help clear his friend's name.
  • The episode in which Peggy struggles to learn how to walk again after recovering from a major spinal injury has a couple of good ones, but it culminates with Cotton using The Power of Hate to make Peggy walk again:
    Cotton: You get to the top of this hill and I will let you dance on my grave!
    • The best part is that he actually honors his words, and takes her hand while they literally dance on the plot.
  • "The Unbearable Blindness of Laying"note : When Cotton offhandedly insults Hank's mother in front of her new boyfriend Kasner, the new guy (a veteran of Korea in his seventies) fires back immediately, saying something that Hank has always wished he had the guts to say:
    Kasner: My Tilly is a wonderful woman! A beautiful woman! And you never did anything but treat her like garbage! If you ever talk like that about her again, I'll kick your ass!
    • Hank chasing after his friends (who made fun of him when he went blind) with a stick after Hank gets his sight back is one for those who don't think Hank's abuse while blind is funny.
  • Hank's speech to the misinformed child welfare officer (Anthony Page) in the pilot. The guy is pretty much accusing Hank of abusing Bobby (solely due to gossip and no research). Hank gives the guy a verbal beat-down of how much he loves his son and then kicks the guy out of his house.
    • Anthony's boss firing him and throwing out the case after asking him if he talked to the Little League coach (who is friends with the child welfare office supervisor), which is the first thing child welfare officers must do in cases like this (talk to teachers, coaches, etc. to see if the injury was from some accident that happened in school/during sports practice or a game).
  • In the episode where Bobby is believed to be a Llama, Hank acts like an ignorant jackass about it. When he confronts a monk about it, he completely owns Hank by using Buddhist philosophy.
    Hank: You're talking like a song from The Lion King (1994). It makes no sense.
    Monk: Or does it make perfect sense?
    Hank: I'm going to kick your ass!
    Monk: If my ass will be kicked, then it will be kicked.
  • In "Ho, Yeah!", Hank's showdown with Alabaster Jones is both hilarious and awesome.
    Hank: I am the Mack Daddy of Heimlich County! I play it straight-up, yo!
  • In The Texas Panhandler, Bobby and Joseph are convinced by some college-aged hipsters to beg for money, claiming it is cool, until Hank forces him to give back all the change he "earned" from bumming. Bobby then gets a job handing out coupons for half-price on a vasectomy (even though he doesn't know what a vasectomy is) when a girl asks him out on a date to see a Will Ferrell movie. He snaps when he sees the guys being treated like royalty for being bums and exposes them for being fake bums. When the main hipster threatens to hurt Bobby, Hank steps in and warns him to back off his son.
    Hank: If I were you, I would get out of here right now.
    Derek: (mockingly) Or what? You'll tell my mom?
    Hank: No, I'll kick your ass from one side of the street and down the other.
    [Derek decides to back off]
    • Also of note, when the main hipster starts threatening Bobby and tries taking away his pamphlets, Bobby doesn't get scared. He gets pissed.
  • In "The Trouble With Gribbles" Dale hatches a plot to con Manitoba Cigarettes out of $5,000 by filing a lawsuit claiming their product has affected Nancy's livelihood. His initial plan has them not bothering to show up for a mere $5,000 and when they do they counter suit him for over a million dollars. To build their case against Dale they plant a bug in his house expecting to catch him being affectionate with Nancy but Dale detects it and feeds them misinformation that emphasizes how much cigarettes have made her unattractive to him. While this causes Nancy to leave him, Manitoba grows so terrified of losing the case they offer Dale a settlement of $75,000. Dale's scheme didn't just work, it exceeded his expectations fifteen times over despite Hank spending the whole episode saying his plan was stupid. And in the end he threw away the money to win back the real prize: his wife.
  • The episode "Daletech" has a quite a few moments:
    • Cotton accidentally scorches off a customer's eyebrows at Strickland Propane, prompting Hank to Death Glare at him which elicits a nervous chuckle out of Cotton. Hank actually scared his terrifying father with just a look!
    • Dale has been trying to establish a private security company but recognizes that Cotton, who has been made a senior police officer to keep him out of trouble, will be a roadblock. Dale starts a plan to turn the neighborhood against Cotton and the plan actually works so well that Hank has to step in and rein his father in by revealing he's not actually a real officer.
    • Following the revelation Cotton becomes so listless that Dale tries to Mercy Kill him. The attempt gives Cotton a clue as to who has been performing minor mischief in the house. He hires Dale to help him catch the culprit, who turns out to be Kahn. They confront Kahn with evidence of his shenanigans and Cotton forces him to put up a privacy hedge that Hank had been trying to get him to set up, while Dale forces Kahn to sign up for a year of Daletech service.
    • Despite being a shinless septuagenarian Cotton manages to kick the shit out of all of the senior daycare's orderlies at the same time.
  • In "Be True to your Fool" we see how cool Bill used to be in a pinch - in a flashback we see the guys as youngsters seeing him off into the Army. At a hardcore music club, a drunken Hank riles a couple of big tough guys when he bumps into them. Bill stops a violent retaliation, stopping a fist with his hand and cheerfully saying "C'mon, fellas, we're all here to rock!" and then Hank goads them further. Bill holds the two off long enough for his friends to duck out.
  • After the misogynistic Jerkass "King" Philip defeats Hank in a jousting competition, Peggy (dressed in full armor) knocks him off his horse and on his ass, striking a blow not only for her husband, but for women's rights.
    Peggy: You just got beat by a girl.
  • In "Returning Japanese", as Hank and his half-brother Junichiro race through Japan to stop their father from spitting in the face of the Emperor, they get delayed being sent back and forth from a ticket vendor to the information desk.
    Hank: What the-? You already did that. He sent you to the other guy!
    Junichiro: Japan can sometimes be tiresome in this way.
    Hank: But you're only half-Japanese. Look, in America, when the traditional way isn't working, we improvise. I'd suggest telling this gentleman to give you the information or you'll kick his ass!
    [Junichiro hesitates, than angrily threatens the ticket vendor in Japanese. The man panics and points them in the right direction. Junichiro, in a visual Borrowed Catchphrase, is surprised for a moment, then smiles.]
  • In "Hank Gets Dusted," Hank's obnoxious cousin Dusty Hill (yes, that Dusty Hill) is making a reality show and relentlessly targets Hank with pranks. The awesome comes when Dusty enters a demolition derby with the Cadillac that Cotton gave him, which Hank had longed to have for years, and gets in real trouble when it breaks down and gets his beard caught in the seat belt. Hank rushes into the middle of derby and saves Dusty by cutting his beard so he can get free, after which Hank politely tells him that for all of his Jerkass behavior he never wants to see him again.
  • In "Vision Quest" Joseph is hanging with a bad crowd, and getting into trouble. Dale urges him to kill a panda with an arrow while his new friends watch. Joseph, struggles with the decision, and upon deciding not to, accidentally releases the arrow. John Redcorn catches it... in mid air!
  • In "Nancy's Boys," Dale gets a couple of moments. First by romancing Nancy to the point where she once again falls for him enough that she leaves John Redcorn. The other is when he helps John Redcorn successfully fill out a FOIA form in order to help John reclaim his land in order to atone for knocking him out with a lamp.
  • John Redcorn tries to play hard rock, but when he's the only one of his band willing to show up at a family picnic to perform, tries playing a much more simplistic and quiet tone, very much like Raffi. The kids walk right over upon hearing his calm slow voice, and even the vandals are practically hypnotised. Dale, the band's "manager" is the only one who doesn't abandon Redcorn and happily helps support him.
  • In "Shins of the Father" Hank finally standing up to Cotton.
  • Hank stopping the football team from ruining the Organic Garden.
  • During "Peggy Hill: The Decline and Fall" Bobby is left stuck doing all the care for Cotton and Didi's new baby, thanks to Didi's depression, and Cotton being...Cotton. After almost the entire episode, Didi innocently asks him to get her some lottery tickets. And he finally snaps.
    Bobby: Gah! I am a twelve year old boy! I am the child's nephew! I cannot do this. I. CANNOT. DO. THIS! (Hands her the baby) If someone makes some food, I'll eat. But that's it! ALL I'LL DO IS EAT!
  • In "Bwah My Nose", Hank getting the winning touchdown in the State Championship rematch.
  • In "And They Call It Bobby Love", Bobby takes the Panhandler Steakhouse challenge, consuming a whole 72 oz. steak on his own in an hour, getting back at his vegetarian girlfriend in the process.
  • "The Texas Skillsaw Massacre": Dale's been a huge pain to Hank the whole episode, between digging a tunnel underneath his home without telling him (and Hank being the one that suffers, having to vacate his house while repairs are made), keeping Hank up all night by watching TV while Hank stays over at his house, filing a restraining order against Hank when he accidentally cuts off his finger with a saw, AND causing Hank to have to take an anger management class. So it's immensely satisfying when Hank stands up to Dale (with help from fellow anger management student Big Jim):
    Hank: You shut your got dang mouth, or I'll shove that ditch witch down your throat and dig a tunnel straight through to sunshine!
    • Then there's the climax of the episode, when Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer are playing cards under the street, and Hank desperately tries to get them to leave the tunnel as a garbage truck approaches. After numerous tries to get them to come out by being nice, he abandons all niceties and takes the threatening approach:
      Hank: Get out, get out, GET. OUT! If you don't get out of that got dang rathole now, I'll get my circular saw, come down there, and cut off all your fingers and toes! Now move! Move! Move!
      (this scares the three straight, and they make it out of the tunnel right before the truck falls on them)
      Dale: Okay, Hank, now that we're out of the tunnel, what is so damn important?
  • Ranger Payton in "High Anxiety". He's ridiculed by Sheriff Buford the whole episode for seemingly being unable to solve the Debbie Grund murder. But at the celebration dinner (after Buford arrested the wrong man), things escalate with random accusations. Just as Buford tells Buck, "You have the right to remain silent", the quiet Payton speaks up and owns them all:
    Payton: If you people are just about finished, I'll tell you who killed Debbie. Debbie's phone records show she called Mr. Hank Hill a short while before her death, which means she was home at 6 PM. Now, what would she have seen if she looked out her window at 6 PM, hmm? Normally, she'd see Sheriff Mumford stuffing some Sugarfoot's ribs into his face. But on this night, she saw Mr. Buck and Miz Liz Strickland entering the restaurant. Which, according to the Sugarfoot's reservations book, occurred at...
    Bobby: [checking the book] 6:03 Mister and 6:04 Missus.
    Payton: Seeing Buck and Miz Liz back together must've thrown that pretty little tank wipe into a jealous rage. So when she went down to Sugarfoot's—
    Peggy: Ah. Peggy's Sugarfoot's. [Beat] At the time, it was.
    Payton: ...Yeah. The point is, she went there to kill Buck Strickland with the 12-gauge shotgun he had stashed in her apartment. So she climbed into the dumpster next to his Cadillac to lie in wait. Now, sitting in a dumpster full of half-eaten barbecue can make you hungry. And sure enough, Debbie went across the street to... the Get-In-Get-Out! According to the store's security videotape and a written deposition from a Mr. Freddy Hakimi, she purchased a Big Gulp and a 99-cent nacho plate. By buying them together, she saved 23 cents.
    Bobby: My God! That is one heck of a deal!
    Payton: When Debbie returned to the dumpster, she saw Mr. Strickland's car and assumed he was still there. What she didn't know was that the Stricklands had already left together in Mrs. Strickland's car, having reconciled physically in a storeroom. And again in the meat locker. And, once more, in the slop sink. She had difficulty juggling the three items as she attempted to negotiate her way back into the dumpster. She put the gun in first. She wouldn't let go of that junk food. And that was the source of her demise. For as Debbie climbed into that dumpster, her foot accidentally tripped the hammer on the gun. So, Debbie Grund's killer? Was Debbie Grund.
  • "Old Glory": Bobby's assembly speech at the end, meant to be an apology for letting Peggy write his essay, turns into a Rousing Speech instead, much to Mrs. Donovan's chagrin.
    Bobby: What has this school taught us about the flag? I say the pledge of allegiance every day but I don't know what it means. I hear "The Star-Spangled Banner" before every football game, but by "o, say can you see", I'm looking for the guy with the peanuts. But today, I watched a grown man [Bill] cry while his flag burned. And when I saw how much it meant to him, I realized how much it should have meant to me. So tomorrow, if you're sitting next to me in detention and one of your spitballs comes anywhere near that flag, you'd better watch your back. Tom Landry rules!
    (crowd cheers)
  • "Hank's Back" When Hank is brought to court for "Insurance Fraud", he brings up the fact that after exhausting all other options, he (grudgingly) tried Yoga. When everyone in the court room laughs it off as a silly excuse, Hank calls for the Yoga Instructor, Yogi Victor, to come in as well. With Yogi backing his claim up, Hank wins the case. Also qualifies as a funny moment, because of how he uses Yogi in order to win the case. After letting him interact with the judges in the courtroom for just a few minutes, the judges are so thoroughly put off by him that they warn Hank that Yogi might cause him to lose the case. Hank responds by essentially agreeing with them, telling them something along the lines of "Do you honestly think I would voluntarily spend more than a minute with this jackass if I weren't in incredible pain?"
    • Yogi also gets his moment too. Yogi was really being a jerk to Hank during his classes with him, but he does show results and has Hank up and moving as promised. However, Hank thinks he's finished with the class and leaves. Not only that, even after it helped him, he still continues to badmouth Yoga and Yogi, even after the latter was kind enough to show up at the court hearing to back up his claim. As payback, Yogi tells the court that Hank is still visibly hurt, and with Hank stating that he is, the court orders Hank to continue his classes to avoid any relapse pain. Yogi takes the opportunity and demands Hank get a tank top.
  • In "Pregnant Paws", Dale takes a cheap bounty hunting course and at a bail bond shop elbows his way to the clerk and asks why he's giving jobs to all the other guys there. The clerk's response? "Because they're experienced, professional bounty hunters? You're just some deluded bug-sprayer who took a four-hour course, learned some chokeholds, and got a hat." It doesn't deter Dale (who gets a guy with unpaid parking tickets as his "target"— he ends up being a guy very much like Dale and they end the episode sitting on a couch, eating pizza and watching What's Happening!!), but points for trying.
  • Peggy gets on in "Peggy the Boggle Champ". In the final round at the Boggle State Championship with Cissy Cobb, Peggy manages to catch up to her in points by naming off small words, and then with her last word, which is thought to be "ain't", Cissy points out it doesn't count and brags about winning, but then Peggy one-up by saying "It ain't 'ain't', Cissy Cobb. The word is "acquaintanceship" as in, 'It was not my pleasure to make your acquaintanceship. I win!', not only winning the championship, but also totally owning Cissy.
    • This becomes slightly more awesome when you realize that "acquaintanceship" is a sixteen-letter word. That may not seem like much, but considering that Boggle only gives players sixteen letters to work with during a match, that means Peggy managed to string together the word that won her the tournament using every letter in the Boggle cube at once; a fairly difficult task in itself.
  • In Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C, and Propane, Hank rents a massive Big Rig truck to move his mother's stuff to her new home in Arizona, and Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer stow away for the ride. After they humiliate Hank in front of a group of Truckers and get his truck stuck on top of a snowy mountain with no gas and a drained battery, Hank is about ready to throw in the towel and call Triple-A and some professional movers to deal with the issue, and then Bobby encourages him to not give up. Hank ends up putting together an excellent plan. They use the stuff in the truck to help them dig out the tires, use the chains and straps for traction on the snow-covered ground, and then fill the truck's gas tank with the kerosene from some antique lanterns. Hank steers the truck backward down the mountain pass while Boomhauer directs him which way to steer and Bill keeps the stuff from falling out of the truck, and after getting the truck into a meadow to turn it around, they get it started.
    • Even better, because Hank and Boomhauer communicated over the CB-radio, a whole bunch of truckers heard what they were doing, and the stunt ended up earning Hank their respect as a real trucker, to the point that they help him get the stuff to Hank's mother's house as a convoy.
  • Tilly gets a retroactive one before the series began, mainly her divorcing Cotton. Flashbacks demonstrated that Cotton was a horrible husband who treated Tilly like garbage (like using her for a footstool) to the point all she had to keep her sane were her figurines. Eventually, Tilly had enough of Cotton's bullshit and divorced him and has been refusing to take his nonsense ever since. What adds to this in Tilly's favor is how often Hank, who is hypocritically dismissive of his mom's judgement because she married Cotton, has far greater difficulty standing up to Cotton's abusive behavior than she does at this point.
  • "Bad Girls, Bad Girls, Whatcha Gonna Do": Bobby becomes infatuated with Connie's delinquent cousin, even though Connie warns him she's dangerous. The cousin tricks Bobby into helping her build a mini meth lab so she can earn enough money to run from Arlen, and when Bobby inadvertantly brings the lab to the school science fair she ditches him, leaving him to face the heat. Just before the principal and a visiting cop see it, Connie grabs a potato cannon (Clark Peters's science project) and blasts the meth lab into smithereens.
    • And as for Connie's cousin, she gets sent to work on a ranch owned by her other uncle who warns her, "I'm the last uncle you got here. You screw up this time, I send you back to grandmother in Laos!"
  • In "Harlottown", Peggy uncovers that Arlen was founded by prostitutes and writes the the story in the newspaper, resulting in Arlen's new city manager wanting to use this information to make Arlen a prostitution-themed tourist trap and have it host the Texas Adult Video Awards. The Hills plan to move until the whole thing blows over when they come across Candy, one of the recipients for the Adult Video Awards stuck on the road. As they drive her to the awards show, she explains that she wanted to open her own shoe store but is too afraid that no one will take her seriously because of her past. Hank tells her that the prostitutes who founded the town must have felt the same but the moment they saw the chance to quit, they took it. At the awards show, Candy tells the people she's quitting and that she doesn't want to see this kind of smut in any hometown. Hank then asks the people, "We have a choice to make. Which version of Arlen do we want? The uncut, x-rated version with shocking footage or the PG one that's grown-up but still appropriate for kids? Now who wants to sign my petition to turn Harlottown back to Arlen?" Everyone immediately signs the petition and Hank even tells the city manager, "Looks like chivalry isn't as dead as you think it is."
  • The episode where Hank and his friends' baseball team, the Zephyrs, go against the Ace of Diamonds. To elaborate, after the man refuses to give the school a check due to the Zephyrs lousing it up, Hank and his friends rock Ace's trailer back and forth until he finally concedes.
  • Bobby saving Joseph from the bull in "Rodeo Days". This episode, Bobby becomes a rodeo clown, but Hank forbids him from it when he finds out, and Joseph is peer-pressured to make fun of him. In the climax, when Joseph falls off while riding a baby bull and the clowns get hurt trying to help, Bobby steps up. First he borrows an old lady's clothes as an impromptu costume. When he's about to enter the ring, Hank stops him... then borrows Peggy's lipstick to draw clown makeup on him. In the ring, Bobby uses his comedy routine to distract the bull, then grabs a nearby fire extinguisher and improvises, putting it between his legs and pretending that he is suffering from a fart attack as he sprays the bull, keeping it at bay while also getting the crowd to laugh. The bull charges and Bobby hides inside a barrel, which is sent flying. The crowd gasps in horror, but Bobby calls out to assure them that he's fine, then lets loose one more spray and moans, "Oy, not so fine," cutting the tension and getting more laughs. With the bull preoccupied with the barrel and far from Joseph, some other rodeo workers are finally able to carry him out.
  • In "Death and Texas," after Peggy is accused of smuggling cocaine to a death row inmate, she gets out of it by basically pointing out that her accuser—a death row inmate who Peggy started talking to after he said she inspired him as a teacher—had no evidence other than an empty Boggle timer. Even if she got herself into that situation through falling for a transparent scheme, she still got herself out of it in the most awesome way possible.