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Quotes: Evil Cannot Comprehend Good
David: Every single plan the Joker makes here is predicated on the innate selfishness of human beings.
Andy: Right, he plays the systems: human self-interest, human rules and authority.
David: As weíll see as this movie goes on, the one thing the Joker absolutely cannot predict, and does not plan for, and doesnít understand, is altruism.
Chris: He and Lord Voldemort have so much to talk about, including their intense hatred of self-righteous orphans.
Chris Sims, Andy Khouri, and David Uzumeri on The Dark Knight

Merryweather: What won't Maleficent expect? She knows everything.
Fauna: Oh, but she doesn't, dear. Maleficent doesn't know anything about love, or kindness, or the joy of helping others... you know, sometimes I don't think she's really very happy.

Zod: He cares. He actually cares for these Earth people.
Ursa: Like pets?!
Zod: I suppose so.

"Logical? Is it? To a machine, perhaps. Yes... A soulless machine might make that deduction. But not Lex Luthor. I know better! I know that no man with the power of Superman would ever pretend to be a mere human! Such power is to be constantly exploited. Such power is to be used!"
Lex Luthor, from the 1980s DC Comics revamp, on why Clark Kent cannot be Superman

Lex: You were born to be the chosen one. You're simply better than us.
Clark: And that always killed you.
Lex: No. No, what 'killed' me was is that you didn't even want it. You fought it, you—you hid from it! I would have taken it, and then relished it, embraced it.
Smallville, "Finale"

"Evil... has every advantage but one - it is inferior in imagination. Good can imagine the possibility of becoming evil... but Evil, defiantly chosen, can no longer imagine anything but itself."
W.H. Auden on The Lord of the Rings

"You have to think about what you're doing. Who and what made you who you are. Your role models. The beliefs they instilled in you. Think of how The Joker could never understand that. It's what makes him who he is. Think."
Jim Gordon, Hush

Oskar Schindler: These people, my people. I want my people.
Amon Goeth: Who are you, Moses? Come on, what is this? Where's the money in this, where's the scam?
Schindler: It's good business.
Goeth: Yeah, it's "good business" in your opinion. Look, you've got to move them, the equipment, everything to Czechoslovakia, pay for all that and build another camp. It doesn't make any sense. You're not telling me something... You're probably scamming me somehow.

"Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom or truth, perhaps peace, could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose, and all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although - only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? WHY DO YOU PERSIST?!"
Agent Smith, The Matrix Revolutions

Cartman: You see guys, it all worked itself out. Tadow, tadow, how you like me now? Feel a little silly now, Kyle? Tadow, how you like me now?
Kyle: I still feel bad, Cartman.
Cartman: What? Hu- How can you feel bad? Somebody else is gonna pay for our crime.
Kyle: Yeah. That makes it even worse.
Cartman: Bu... ...eh... Kyle, you don't seem to understand. We're not gonna get punished for this. Ever.
Kyle: I know.
Cartman: So... so then, how can you feel bad?
Stan: He feels guilty for doing it and for letting someone else pay for it.
Cartman: ...But he's not gonna get in trouble.
Stan: It doesn't matter if you get in trouble of not, you can still feel bad. [to Kyle] I think you're right, Kyle. Maybe we should confess.
Kenny: (Yeah, maybe we should)
Cartman: What?? Eh... [tries to be upbeat] Hey you guys! There's nothing to feel bad about! We're, we're off scot-free!
Kyle: We feel bad for other people.
Cartman: [looks at the other boys in disbelief] For oth-er... [winces] Uh. Oww. ...Ih ...Ih, ih, is it that ...you think you might get in trouble later?
Stan: Tomorrow in school we'll all tell the teacher it was us, and let her decide what to do. [points an accusing finger at Cartman] And Cartman, if you had any thread of a conscience at all, you'll do the same! [He, Kyle, and Kenny leave]
Cartman: Eh buh... eh... eh... Freakin' weirdos, man!
South Park, "Toilet Paper"

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Elan: I saved you 'cause I'm the Good twin, not the Neutral twin.
Nale: ... I don't get it.
"Blind you are, Morgoth Bauglir, and blind shall ever be, seeing only the dark. You know not what rules the hearts of men, and if you knew you could not give it."

Sephiroth: Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away.
Cloud: I pity you. You just don't get it all. There's not a thing I don't cherish!

Hamilton: Why do you keep fighting? You signed away your Shanshu. There's nothing in it for you anymore.
Angel: People who don't care about anything will never understand the people who do.
Hamilton: Yeah, but we won't care.
Angel

"Love...? For a sibling? How foolish. All that is needed... is absolute power."
Sanctus, Devil May Cry 4

"Kohaku killed his father and his fellow villagers. He massacred an entire town. Yet his sister says she cannot kill him. She loves her brother more dearly than she loves her own life. How can this be? I do not understand."
Naraku, InuYasha

Agent 146: I'm stupid? Don't you realize the chip is power? Communications, politics, money ... anything! And you're pissing it away!
The Girl: No, we get it. We're just not that kind of people.

Cyber-Leader: (watching from above as humans and Cybermen fight) I ordered surrender.
Tenth Doctor: They're not taking instructions. Don't you understand? You're on every street, you're in their homes, you've got their children! Of course they're gonna FIGHT!
Doctor Who, "Doomsday"

"If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love."
Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter

"His knowledge remained woefully incomplete, Harry! That which Voldemort does not value, he takes no trouble to comprehend. Of house-elves and children's tales, of love, loyalty and innocence, Voldemort knows and understands nothing. Nothing. That they all have a power beyond his own, a power beyond the reach of any magic, is a truth that he has never grasped."

Zidane: As long as there's hope, I'm not going anywhere.
Kuja: (beaten) Then... I want you to erase me.
Zidane: What?
Kuja: The world has disowned me. I have been defeated by life itself.
(Zidane closes the distance between them. Kuja chuckles, perhaps expecting Zidane to go through with it - but Zidane offers him his hand)
Kuja: Why?
Zidane: Do I need a reason to help someone? Or is my help not good enough for you?
Kuja: It's likely that... I will hurt you again.
Zidane: I can take a beating.
Kuja: I don't think I will ever come to understand you.

"Only you would regard love as a weakness."
Goliath to Xanatos, Gargoyles

Tao En: Impossible. Why are you getting up? Don't you fear me? Why do you fight so hard for one another?!
Tao Ren: I can't answer that. But I know that if I were in their place... I'd do the same for them.

There are those who say that to comprehend evil is to become evil; but they are merely pretending to be wise. Rather it is evil which does not know love, and dares not imagine love, and cannot ever understand love without ceasing to be evil. And I suspect that you can imagine your way into the minds of Dark Wizards better than I ever could, while still knowing love yourself.

"It was a harrowing experience, but I don't hold a grudge. We should love our enemies. It makes them so damned mad."

"You still don't get it, do you? Huh?! This ain't about your money, bro, your boy gave you up. That's right. And we ain't had to torture his ass neither!"
Omar Little, The Wire

Choudhury: What about the man in the red suit?
Tanek Nuro: It'll be easy to deal with him, now that we've found out who he really is. First we'll take a hostage. Who does he care about?
Choudhury: Well, he has an ex-wife and a son...
Nuro: I bet he hates his ex and would sell his son to the gypsies if he could. I would.

"Forget about [the Chum Bucket], I just can't take so much kindness in one sitting! Need... hatred..."
Plankton, Sponge Bob Square Pants "Walking Small"

"[Supreme Chancellor Fey'lya] lives in a world where alliances shift by the moment. Borsk does what Borsk needs to do, at any given moment, to benefit Borsk. And he's so jaded by that political philosophy that he thinks everyone else plays by the same rules."
Luke Skywalker, Vector Prime

A moderately bad man knows he is not very good: a thoroughly bad man thinks he is all right. This is common sense, really. You understand sleep when you are awake, not while you are sleeping... Good people know about both good and evil: bad people do not know about either.

Saffron: Everybody plays each other. That's all anybody ever does. We play parts.
Mal: You got all kinds a learniní and you made me look the fool without even trying, and yet here I am with a gun to your head. Thatís 'cause I've got people with me, people who trust each other, who do for each other, and ain't always looking for the advantage.
Firefly

MAN'S MYSTERY
Man is mortal, and doomed to death and failure and loss.
This lies beyond our comprehension - why do you not despair?

"What were you trying to prove? That deep down everybody is as ugly as you? You're alone."

Exdeath: Why... why won't you die!?
Galuf: Takes a lot more than that... for me to kick the bucket! I'll destroy you, Exdeath... even if it means I have to take you into the afterlife myself!
Exdeath: Fool! All the hatred in existence would never be enough to defeat me!
Galuf: This... isn't anger... isn't hatred... it's...
Exdeath: Then... what...?

He could have killed them both. But he didn't. Why? The emotions that fill Jason right now are alien to him as they are not hate or anger.

Locus: Why do you continue to help these people, Agent Washington? You have nothing to gain from them. No reason to fight for them. And yet, here you stand with your life on the line for them.
Washington: Is that so hard to understand?
Locus: You used to be so much more. You were once an enemy to these men. You were ruthless! You were a survivor!
Washington: I was a different person.
Locus: No, you were a soldier.
Washington: You say that like they're two different things.
Locus: When a true soldier is told to kill, he kills. He does not question why, he does not mourn the fallen; he fulfills his role and moves on to the next.
Washington: Is that what you want to be? A true soldier?
Locus: No, that is what I am! I'm a professional, Agent Washington. I complete my-
Washington: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you complete your missions at all cost. You can say that as many times as you want, but I know what you really are. You're a coward.
Locus: Ridiculous.
Washington: You keep trying to play yourself off as some sort of weapon. That you don't care about anyone or anything. But the fact that you're trying so hard to understand me breaks your entire act! No matter how hard you may want to be, you're not a machine, you're a murderer. But you hide behind the idea in your head, because you're too afraid to take responsibility for what you've done. I know I used to be a real piece of shit, but at least I'm trying to do something about it.

Quiz Show Host: Category: You're Boning Your Boss's Wife. Etiquette Question. Do you server red wine or white wine when she comes over?
(the two contestants think it over before the buzzer rings)
Quiz Show Host: All right, that was actually a trick question. The correct answer is, you shouldn't be boning your boss's wife. Now that's something you'd know if you either of you had a conscience.

Picard/Locutus of Borg: Worf. Klingon species. A warrior race. You too will be assimilated.
Worf: The Klingon Empire will never yield!
Locutus: Why do you resist? We only wish to raise quality of life for all species.
Worf: I like my species the way it is!
Star Trek: The Next Generation, "The Best of Both Worlds: Part II"

Maaga: I don't know. I have heard that on occasions, they even die for one another.
Drahvin 3: Die? For their friends?
Maaga: There are many strange things in the universe.
Doctor Who, "Galaxy 4"

"You're still evil! And when you're trying to be good, you're even more evil!"
Lisa Simpson, to Mr. Burns, The Simpsons, "The Old Man and the Lisa"

Christian: Its about love!
Duke: (snarls) Love?
Nostalgia Critic as the Duke: Ah yes, that human emotion I have heard so much about.

"Pi-ty?! I have no un-der-stan-ding of the word. It is not re-gis-tered in my vo-cab-u-la-ry bank."
A Dalek, Genesis of the Daleks

Mordred and Agravaine thought Arthur hypocriticaló- as all decent men must be, if you assume that decency can't exist.

Homer: Iím telling you Marge, thisíll work. Theyíll think Iím Krusty and give us free stuff. Iíve been getting free stuff all day! Look at this swell bucket of house paint. Look at it!
Marge: I'm not saying it won't work, I'm just saying it's dishonest.
Homer: Well, if we agree, then why are we arguing?
The Simpsons, episode "Homie the Clown"

Brainiac: I believed you were an intelligent being. A perspicacious creature of many worlds like me. But I was incorrect. You are a threat to no one. You dedicated yourself to a planet that has nothing to offer you. It lacks Krypton's advances in science. Its weapons are rudimentary, even compared to that of the barbaric Rimbor. It is devoid of any quantifiable value. Earth is not necessary to my continued evolution. This culture is useless.
Lois Lane: [from inside the shrunken Metropolis] Superman! Clark, if you can hear me... I don't know what's happening, I don't know if this is the end... but if it is... if it is the end—
Brainiac: This culture is disgusting.
Brainiac: What could this vacuous world possible provide you?
Superman: Brainiac

[Cartman comes to Kyle's house dressed in a nice sweater]
Cartman: Hey Kyle.
Kyle: That isn't it, Cartman.
Cartman: What isn't it?
Kyle: That isn't being nice, that's just putting on a nice sweater.
Cartman: I don't understand the difference.
Kyle: I know you don't. [closes the door]
South Park, Casa Bonita

"I take no solace or joy in this man's passing. We will not dance upon his grave, nor stand vigil at his funeral holding "God Hates Freds" signs, tempting as it may be. He was a tormented soul, who tormented so many. Hate never wins out in the end. It instead goes always to its lonely, dusty end."
George Takei, on Fred Phelps Sr.'s death.

Kerrigan: You know, you are not so bad, Abathur.
"What's a good deed?"
Iznogoud, Iznogoud Finally Caliph

Bruce Wayne: I'm no executioner.
Henri Ducard/Ra's Al Ghul: Your compassion is a weakness your enemies will not share.
Bruce: That's why it's so important. It separates us from them.

"Oh, why don't you stop already? You don't 'love', Vlad. You've NEVER 'loved'! All you've ever done in life is WANT things! You know, Vlad you can't look me in eye and honestly tell me that your life has been all that terrible! It just wasn't ENOUGH for you! You could take away everything that ever meant anything to anyone, and the rest of the world besides, and it STILL wouldn't be enough for you! Never enough MONEY! Never enough Attention! Never enough...EVERYTHING! I fell in love with a man who has always been able to think about MORE than just himself, and I don't care how powerful or smart or perfect you THINK you are...that man is never...ever...EVER...going to be you".
Maddie Fenton to Vlad Plasmius, Facing The Future Series

"You know nothing about a glorious life, Darkseid. There are so many things she'll never experience because of you. [...] Of course, none of what I've said has any meaning to you. You only know death. A blackness that has brought you nothing."

"You know, all this talk about 'These guys are criminal masterminds. They've gotten together and their extraordinary guile and their wit and their skill...' It's, it'sóit's a lie. Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people from all over the country, literally with buckets, rebuilding... thatís extraordinary. And that's why we have already won... they can't... it's light. It's democracy. They can't shut that down."
Jon Stewart, in the first post-September 11th, 2001 episode of The Daily Show

Mabel:*offering a taco* Want one?
Pacifica: Oh, I'm not supposed to take handouts.
Mabel: Handouts? It's called sharing! You do know what sharing is, right?
Pacifica: Sha... sharr-ing?
Mabel: Just take it.

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