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Funny / The Nostalgia Critic 2019 Episodes

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Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

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    Max Payne 
  • The loading screen that happens when Critic is about to review the film.
  • The Critic rhetorically asks if the movie paid off:
    Elliot: What? Noooo...
  • His reaction to Max's Skyward Scream:
    Critic:...That was adorable.
  • The Framing Device that satirizes the movie? Due to moving to a new studio and its size, Malcolm got lost and Critic and Tamara have to find him. With guns. By the end of the review, it turns out Malcolm didn't get lost at all, he just hasn't returned from his vacation yet. Also he's been kidnapped, had his fingers cut off, his toes cut off, his nostrils cut off, his testicles cut off, and on the verge of being given a third testicle so he can have three testicles to cut off.
  • While looking for Malcolm in the studio, Critic and Tamara find Devil Boner, who says he might know something about it, and it looks like they are about to fight him to get the information out of him. Cue Gilligan Cut of them just talking with him and him casually telling them everything.
  • When asked if he is going to change the color of the new wall, Critic goes into a long speech about how change can be good and behind him is Barney with a bucket of paint and a paint roller.

    RoboCop (2014) 
  • The episode opens on a scene parodying a scene from the original RoboCop film, from "RoboCop"'s point of view, where the Nostalgia Critic, Tamara and Chart Guy!Rob start putting it into action with certain things such as a demotion from an R rating to PG-13, Samuel L. Jackson only having a minor role, and producing new ideas before going nowhere with them. The end result of how it looks is basically RoboCop with his face replaced with a poster for the 2014 reboot. Critic assures it that it'll be a money-making machine, and after a celebration, says they will never forget about it - this is followed up with a brief time-skip where the Critic and Tamara had completely forgotten it was even standing there.
    • When they shelve Jackson to a 'cameo' and Tamara says RoboCop will be portrayed by 'the boring guy from Suicide Squad', Critic and the Chart Guy ask "Which one?"
    • Then there's The Reveal at the end where it turns out that "RoboCop" is Malcolm, after having been mailed back to the studio in pieces following what he endured in the Max Payne review.
    Malcolm: You brought me back to life as a Robocop movie?
  • Critic is left utterly confused when the MGM Lion's roar is replaced with the odd sounds of Samuel L. Jackson's Pat Novak doing vocal warm-ups before going live. "What the fuck was that?!" A better fitting Jackson quote for the start of the film: "Ya'll oughta be shamed of your god-damned selves! Fuck you!"
  • A Running Gag in the review involves alternate "Robo___" names fitting somewhat to the subject of the joke being made, all having a tagline starting with "This Time..."
  • Critic mentions how "surprising and effective" the scene of Murphy being blown up would've been if there wasn't a scene of the bomb being planted earlier. He compares it to The Sixth Sense starting with:
    Cole Sear: "Hi, dead-head!"
    Malcolm Crowe: "WHAT THE FU—!?"
  • The Critic notes the odd music choice in the combat training scene, which includes some yodeling.note 
  • "You look like the Mega Man version of Get Out".
  • A brief Actor Allusion when Dr. Norton and Raymond Sellars meet up in one scene of the movie: "Commissioner Gordon." "Batman."
  • (singsong) "SilverHawks."
  • Critic is left enraged when Novak drops the F-Bomb and it's bleeped, considering it a ruining of the film's one opportunity in its PG-13 rating for an uncensored 'F-Bomb'.
  • As he's filming this with a big window behind him and the lighting clearly changes, the obvious Throw It In! line of Doug complaining that the sun isn't a cooperative actor.

    The Black Cauldron 
  • Critic is slowly driven insane by Gurgi.
    Critic: Gurgi is if the Shaggy Dog's ass farted Jar Jar Binks' voice, no matter how often you asked him to stop. [...] Someone was like, "I bet you can't trick Disney animators into drawing Wilford Brimley's armpit hair on the Pokémon doll of Mark Twain with the death rattle of Donald Duck." And some sadist bastard was like, "WATCH ME!!"
  • The Critic having difficulty pronouncing the main characters' names and asking if there's someone named Bob in the movie.
    Critic: (about Dallben) Look, there's Heirekapwapwa! (about the Horned King) There's Gogobegill of Shapetypfepfe! (about Gurgi) Behold, Obnoxity of Shutup! Your names all sound like preservatives!
    • Then when the Critic sees Fflewddur Fflam, he has such difficulty with this character's name that he decides to just call him "Pickles" instead.
  • The Critic mocking the flat, lazy delivery of Taran's "Oh, no!" line.
  • The presence of the fat gypsy woman entertaining The Horned King's minions just makes the Critic think of a funnier version of Hellfire.
    Critic!Frollo: ♪ I feel her / I see her / The sun caught in her raven hair / Don't shame me, it's my thing / I just love her rolls! ♪
  • The Critic thinks that the Horned King's voice, provided by John Hurt, is supposed to sound threatening, but just sounds too funny to be so when using certain words, like "pig".
    Critic: I just keep expecting him to see him in Babe, like (as the Horned King) "That'll do, pig. That'll do. Now die."
  • "Yo ho, yo ho, a constantly altered ride for me..."
  • There's this as the Horned King's men capture Taran:
    Horned King: Throw the boy to the dungeon!
    Critic!Horned King: Then throw the dungeon in the dungeon! Then throw the dungeon to the boy!
  • Doug's commercial for ExpressVPN, in which he explains the vulnerability of someone's identity online by continuously renaming his cat, Chaplin, first to Keaton and then to Chaplin again, or rather, Chaplinn with two Ns. In an ominous tone, after renaming his cat, Doug asks if he likes his new name, and then cackles, getting louder and louder, until he sounds like he's screaming like a girl.
  • In the sketch Taran constantly exclaiming "I'm a warrior!" and everyone else's exasperation.

    The Country Bears 

    Donnie Darko 
  • The review opens with Critic addressing the movie's infamous Broken Base, with two characters (both played by him) representing each side of the fanbase. He then promptly dismisses then, arguing he doesn't even know anything about the fans of these movies and just wants to give his own opinion. The two characters immediately call him out for going through the effort of getting new clothes and playing three roles at once just for a cheap Running Gag.
  • Critic interpreting the dark-looking rabbit in the movie as the DCEU version of Bugs Bunny.
    • During the movie scene, the Critic's response to Frank asking "Why are you wearing that stupid man-suit?" is "Spoken like a true Furry."

    X-Men: The Animated Series 
  • As a parody of the original X-Men animated series opening, the X-Month intro is a lot to watch. The Critic represents Cyclops, Santa Christ represents Wolverine, Hyper Fangirl represents Rogue, Aiyanna represents Storm (with a jetpack instead of thunder and rain), the Devil represents Beast, Walter represents Gambit, Heather represents Jubilee, Jim represents Jean Grey, the Cinema Snob represents Professor X, and Bill, Rita Repulsa, Devil Boner, Jim, Dinosaur Rob, and M. Night Shyamalan are on Magneto's side, with Chester A. Bum, Evilina, Barney and a werewolf man representing the running humans. And representing Magneto is...who else?
  • Critic's announcement that he's going to talk about the X-Men cartoon immediately draws audience groans.
    Critic: Let's talk about the X-Men cartoon—
    [audience groans are heard]
    Critic: [non-pausing over the groans] I know I talked about it a lot.
  • Critic then acknowledges that much has already been said about the animated series, but that he has a new addition to make.
    Critic: But that's why this time I have a little surprise. [changes his hat for one that says "Previously on X-Men"] This "Previously on X-Men" hat that goes magnificently with my outfit—
    [audience groans again]
    Critic: [again non-pausing over the groans] —And the developers of X-Men!
    [audience cheers]
    Critic: Yeah, shouldn't have dissed the hat!
  • Critic thanks the developers, Julia and Eric Lewald "for coming to celebrate it and not just to sell something"... while the Lewalds are surrounded by copies of their book about the making of the show Previously on X-Men. They then proceed to sheepishly hide them.
  • The Lewalds mention how there was a previous attempt to adapt the X-Men to television, Pryde of the X-Men, which featured a Wolverine with an over-the-top Australian accent. They explain that higher-ups saw the popularity of "Crocodile" Dundee and decided to make Wolverine Australian after it, which makes Critic come up to some odd conclusions:
    Critic: So that's why Captain Marvel was suddenly from Wakanda...
  • Critic and the Lewalds at one point discuss that even Stan Lee was among the ones who didn't get the show's more adult tone, saying that he wanted to do a live-action introduction with himself in every episode and discuss what the lesson learned was at the end. Critic is absolutely baffled at this.
    Critic: Because it worked so well in Hammerman...?
  • After discussing how the X-Men started as a group of American teenagers before becoming more mature and worldly, and how Lee wasn't involved with the X-Men since 1963, Eric compares Lee's approach as them having a garage band and Lee "telling us how great Pat Boone records were."
  • When it's time to go to the break, Critic decides to do it "the X-Men way". Then it segues to the Fox Kids Network's Action Theater bumper instead of the Nostalgia Critic's
    Critic: Character in trouble!
    [shows Storm being hit by a laser]
    Critic: Nooooo!!!
  • What happens during the break is also hysterical: While leaving the set, Doug is visited by Death itself... only for Doug to discover that Death has a high-pitched voice. And then Doug uses the fact that Death has visited him to segue into the episode's sponsor, an online insurance sale company, completely ignoring Death.
    Death: I am the Grim Reaper!
    Doug: [about to laugh] Is that your real voice?
    Death: Yes it is! Dammit, this only happens to me! Because I have this voice, nobody can ever take me seriously! Gawd!
    Doug: Well, that's a shame, because death really should be taken seriously. [looking at the camera] Like PolicyGenius takes it seriosly.
    Death: Wait, am I so not threatening you're actually doing a sponsorship while I'm here?
    Doug: Life insurance is one of those topics that everybody...
    Death: Oh my God, is this really going on?!
    [...]
    Death: [after Critic states that the site helps him understand insurance prices] Better than how you undersand the end of your life?!
    Doug: Doesn't he sound like that dog from Up?
    Death: What is wrong with you?! You jerk!
    [...]
    Death: Can I kill you now?
    Doug: No. [goes back to his set]
    Death: GOD, I REALLY SUCK AT THIS!!!
  • When the Lewalds mention "Beauty and the Beast" (the episode in which Beast finds love) as one of their favorite episodes, Critic says that it's definitely better than the versions of "Beauty and the Beast" than Disney is turning out recently, while showing the posters of the Direct to Video sequels and the live-action remake.
  • When the Lewalds also note Wolverine and Storm's romance in the alternate universe of the "One Man's Worth" two-parter, with Julia in particular being passionate about it.
    Critic: Awww, even the creators are shippers.
    Jubilee (from a clip of the show): Get a life.
  • At the end of the episode, Critic states that for March, he's gonna do... Ted Healy Month (after the early supporting castmember of The Three Stooges), but then the Lewalds suggest that he do a month about the X-Men instead. When Critic expresses his doubts about it, the Lewalds start doing chicken taunts.
    Critic: You know what, fine! Ted Healy's state is gonna be very disappointed-slash-relieved, but you know what, let's do it! Next month it's X-Month!

    X-Men 
  • The Framing Device that satirizes the movie, Aunt Despair and Uncle Lies's nephew.
    • At first, the kid spends the first minute or so of the review completely focused on his phone, not caring for anything else, but when Critic mentions that he's gonna watch the first X-Men film while he's on his phone, its mention peaks the nephew's interest since he loves the modern Marvel Comics films. The kid's interest takes a gradual fall as more and more of the film goes on and he finds more things to complain about in regards to what is changed in the film - like the depiction of Rogue and the treatment of the Wolverine v. Sabertooth feud.
    • At one point NC tells the kid he's going to miss the awesome romance they gave Rogue, and Malcolm assumes Gambit. Critic's awkward shifting "mmf" in response is hilarious, even if you feel a slight bit bad for Critic's awkwardness in trying to keep the kid interested in the film.
    • But there is one thing that the two of them both enjoy: The introduction of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine
    Kid: Did I just... turn gay?
    Critic: We all did a little bit.
    • The ending of the episode reveals that the aunt and uncle's kid isn't actually their nephew, but is actually Mr. T's son, and it seems like they intentionally passed the kid off to the Critic so that they could pin him as a supposed kidnapper and watch him suffer at the hands of a Mr. T ass-kicking.
  • When The fighter starts kicking Wolverine down on the ground:
    Critic: This is for Kate & Leopold! This is for Pan! This is for not getting Russell Crowe to drop out of Les Mis!
  • "You fowgot my shiewded magic hewmet!"

    X2: X-Men United 
  • Critic points out that it's pretty rich for Stryker to be pulling the While You Were in Diapers trope on Mystique posing as Senator Kelly when the actors are exactly the same age.*
  • Critic being increasingly baffled by how little security Xavier's school has to protect the students despite his boast of the contrary.
  • When Wolverine uses his claw as a key to somehow start up a car, Critic wonders how it works. Cue him imagining Wolverine going through various sets of claws until he gets a car key.
  • Wolverine seemingly dies from a bullet in the head in the middle of the movie. Cue Critic giving a look at all the following movies featuring Wolverine on the poster or as the main star:
    Critic: ...Yeah, I think he is fine.
  • When Stryker insists Wolverine would be disgusted by himself if he still had his memory, Critic thinks he's talking about how inaccurately all the characters were treated in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
  • Doug's crazytown commercials are always really funny, but in his commercial for Audible; the part where he's trying and failing to both put on his Critic outfit and read at the same time, the brief pause and complete changing of the subject after he says they offer an audio fitness plan, and the end where he lampshades how weird he's been.
    Doug: ONE OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS IS- You know I don't wanna give the wrong impression this is actually a really good book, you should- you should check it out. Go to Audible it's good, get Audible a-and check this book out, it's a classic. [Beat] I don't know what I'm doing.

    X-Men: The Last Stand 

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine 
  • When the film's In Name Only Deadpool shows up, Doug, keeping it canon, proceeds to show the clip of the real Deadpool killing him in Deadpool 2 and, thinking how awesome it would be if every copy of this film made afterwards would end the film with that scene, he asks Ryan Reynolds to get on that.
  • This episode's sponsor was Devil May Cry 5 of all things, and the ad this time around is a fairly unenthusiastic sounding Doug shilling the game before devolving into him insisting that the game is actually pretty awesome and calls the audience sick, with Devil May Cry 5 being the cure to their sickness. Doug includes actual quotes from various reviews, including his cat, who said about the game, "Meow."

    Best F(r)iends 
  • Special Guest Greg Sestero as Tommy Wiseau.
  • After the conclusion of Part 1, the Critic wants to talk to Wiseau. First is Malcolm!Wiseau, followed by Tamara!Wiseau - then Greg!Wiseau asks him about his sex life, prompting a Spit Take from the Critic despite not having taken a drink.
  • Rick Edwards is apparently so awesome that he can spontaneously decide to cause a Rapture of people who doesn't think he's awesome. Among the survivors are the Critic and Jim Jarosz.
    Jim: Huh, thank god I'm a Rick Edwards fan.

    Tom & Jerry & the Wizard of Oz 
  • The running joke with the horse during the 'Over The Rainbow' musical number, staring suggestively towards Dorothy.
  • The Critic asking why Droopy isn't playing Toto followed by the depressed canine's face plastered on Toto saying "pip pip". When Droopy does eventually make an appearance later on in the film, Critic again brings up the missed opportunity.
  • Upon mentioning how oddly flat the flowers look in one scene, Critic ends up considering the possibility of Paper Mario land fertilizer.
  • He does cop to the skywriting scene as being Actually Pretty Funny, as "And Tom & Jerry" was as much an afterthought In-Universe as outside it.
  • The Critic is genuinely surprised that the detail of the Scarecrow bringing a gun (aka 'packing heat' as he says) in the journey to the Wicked Witch's castle was kept in this rendition.
  • Glinda returning with FUCKING BUBBLES.
  • The Critic saying that Dorothy and Glinda look like Peter Lorre caricatures in drag, and proceeds to mimic Lorre using Dorothy & Glinda's dialogue.
  • The "First Viewing" brought Barney back to watch it - surprisingly, all three of them genuinely enjoyed it, largely because the slapstick was as good as the classic shorts. They wonder why Dorothy actually looks older in the cartoon than she was in the original, with Rob commenting on the similarities to Cuphead while Doug is reminded of Red from the old Tex Avery shorts.
  • Critic pointing out some Innocent Innuendo when Tuffy is introduced.
    Tuffy: I'm very insecure about my size!
    Critic: Well, you're only a munchkin. (pause, then Corpsing) Oh, God, that makes it worse!
  • This. Just this.
    Tin Man: What's happened to you?
    Scarecrow: They took my legs off and then threw them over there! Then they took my chest out and threw it over there!
    Critic: Then they took my penis and said they were saving it for a lonely night!

    Hop 
  • When refering to EB as "The Thumper equivalent of Quack Pack", he has to chastise Disney out of the idea.
    Mickey Mouse: Ha-ha! I'm still gonna make it!
  • Throughout the video, EB's dialogue is replaced by some of Russell Brand's profane speeches.
  • When E.B. poops jellybeans:
    Critic: Hop! The jelly beans you've been eating all these years are shit...SHIT! Hop.
  • The critic notices that the bunnies in the movie kinda look like Judy Hopps and starts wondering if this is a prequel to Zootopia.
    Critic: Cute critters can talk, they get organized, they handle Easter, 12 Monkeys happens, and the animals rule the earth.

    Stuart Little 
  • The Critic talks about how the movie was made. It shows the original book the movie was based on being inserted into a bizarre depiction of The '90snote  and emerging out as the film.
  • The Running Gag where the Critic actively tries to avoid making fun of Jonathan Lipnicki's (George Little's actor) cutesy acting due to discovering that he grew up to be a bodybuilder◊. So he resorts to making fun of the Olsen twins instead. Fridge Brilliance kicks in when you realize this is the lesson the Critic learned with Mara Wilson.
    George Little [in a particularly awful line read]: That's not a mouse, that's my brother!
    [Beat]
    Critic [clearly terrified]: He has an eight-pack, man.
  • This exchange from the Critic when the extended Little family gives Stuart gifts clearly not intended for mice for his birthday:
    Critic: I got Billy a skateboard!
    Critic (as Mrs. Little): Oh, I forgot to tell you, Billy's in a wheelchair.
    Critic: Oh. Oh, well, I got Cindy a hairbrush!
    Critic (as Mrs. Little): Oh, I forgot to tell you, Cindy has no head.
    Critic: Oh. Well, uh, I got Johnny some sneakers!
    Critic (as Mrs. Little): Johnny's a bear.
    Critic: Where'd you find this orphanage?!
  • The Critic bringing up how the bully in this movie is Dr. Evil as an eight-year-old and that he didn't know he wanted a series about that.
  • When talking about the plot twist that Stuart's parents are actually fake:
    Critic: oh my god, (cuts to him covering his face with his hands) oh my god! Even in Stuart Little, Stuart freaking Little, there's still has to be a Shyamalan twist! I-I don't get it, you weren't even a thing yet! Why stop there? How about Stuart is actually dead, the Littles [[Film/Unbreakable are actually superheroes]], and the trees... what the hell was The Happening again? I dunno, just tell a fairy tale you weirdo! (shows the poster to Lady in the Water) A good fairy tale!
  • The Critic saying that if he were a thug in Batman (1989), he would be more scared of the evil cat than Michael Keaton.
  • The Call-Back to the "family-friendly" Running Gag from the previous review.
    Hop! Oh, wait, wrong movie. Still what...what're we doing here? Hop.
  • Critic pointing out the poor editing of a scene:
    Stuart: Sure, you'll probably scratch him up pretty bad. You'll tear him to shreds, you may even kill him. But Snowbell will not run away. Right? Snow? (An edited shot of Snowbell having run away is shown in place of the actual scene, in which Snowbell just stands looks scared)
    Critic: That's what should have been there, but instead, we just get Snowbell looking afraid. Oh, what? Would that have been too much? Would it have warranted a PG-13?

    Toonami 
  • Critic dropping the Grumpy Old Man act when Walter reminds him that he's just before the millennial cut off date and isn't that old.
  • While Heather talks about Sailor Moon, Tamara gets pedantic and interjects that the moon isn't a planet.
    Heather to Tamara: You're a moon!
    • Critic’s 2013 episode on the anime was… unpopular. So it’s both funny and awesome when he gears up to talk about it again and Heather stops him, saying she can actually talk about it correctly, to the audience’s and others’ delight.
  • Critic getting excited over Johnny Quest, and when everyone side-eyes the enthusiasm, he gets embarrassed and pouty and just wants to talk about something he knows.
  • Walter's Death Glares at Critic for not getting Hamtaro continue throughout the episode, and all four act like it's Serious Business.
  • Critic casually trying to remember Dragon Ball Z's name, while the others are fighting each other for the right to talk about it, including Kamehamehas.

    Balto II: Wolf Quest 
  • The irony is not lost on Doug of Jodi Benson-the voice of a certain red-headed Disney mermaid-voicing another cartoon redhead Jenna.
  • The Running Gag of Balto being a Deadbeat Dad who considers constantly taking naps more important than raising his kids.
    Critic: So Balto has flashbacks to all the moments of [his daughter] growing up. That's right: Both of them. He was asleep for the rest.
  • This time in the ad, someone has hacked Doug's gmail and sent a bunch of mails calling all the people he know a foot. He doesn't even like feet!
    Doug: I mean, if they took me out on a date or something, I mean maybe, I'd get to know them...
  • The ending:
    Phone: Wonderful, do you think we should end on a joke?
    Doug: No.
  • He's rather put off by the overly-sexy voice of the vixen that Balto frees.
    Critic: It's making me— I mean you confused!
  • When one of the wolves tries to push whatsherface of the rock with the back of his paw, Critic points out how wonderfully demeaning it is to do that.
    Wolf Critic: You have the luxury of smelling my lotion as I push you of!
    Aleu: Oh, is that cucumber mint?
    Wolf Critic: It is!

    Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within 

    Mary Poppins Returns 
  • "And, apparently, there's a dead mother, which we have never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...ever seen before."
  • Upon realising one of the children is named "Georgie", Critic replaces Mary Poppins with Pennywise gliding down on a bunch of balloons.
  • During the finale, the rather enthusiastic way Reboot!Mary Poppins reacts to Maleficent's cursed spinning wheel.
  • Doug's commercial this time is for Experian Boost, with a pirate on the phone telling him about it. A couple of times he'll get out of Large Ham for some Leaning on the Fourth Wall.
    Doug: This phone's not even on...
    Doug: [with :/ face] Oh my god a camera's watching me.

    Alien 3 
  • Critic being unable to hear the mumble whispering.
  • Critic theorizes that the Squick of Newt getting dissected onscreen made the audience rage quit.

    Barney's Great Adventure 
  • Critic's opening line states there are two types of Barneys: the first is an obnoxious dinosaur nobody likes to listen to and the other is purple. Cue him going up to his father, who is also named Barney, and roasting him.
  • invoked The Critic talks about Barney's Periphery Hatedom and mentions how such a hatedom never arose for Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, and Super Why!, but then a picture of Caillou is shown, so the last example he lists instead is WordGirl.
  • As the movie begins, the Critic hears Barney, Baby Bop, and BJ talking over a black screen. He then questions if Barney kidnapped him and this is the point of view from his blindfold.
    Critic (as Barney): Oh, boy! We're gonna make so much money ransoming off your body parts! Let's count how many toes you have left! One... that was fun! (laughs)
  • The Critic points out that Cody is played by Trevor Morgan, who was also Erik in Jurassic Park III, the film that actually had Barney in it.
    Dr. Grant: This is T-Rex pee. How'd you get it?
    Erik: You don't want to know.
    Critic (holding up Barney's Great Adventure's DVD case): Ah, so that's the Barney golden shower song I've heard so much about.
  • Five minutes into the film, the Critic calls Cody his favorite character, and wants him and Linus from The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl to be insult comics at toddlers' birthday parties.
  • Throughout the video, the Critic is having Barney say various threats to the children.
    "You diss me, I kill you, all you know about Hell is true..."
  • When Barney is shoving and pushing a reluctant Cody around in a wheelbarrow in the imagination musical number:
    Critic (as Barney): Take this, punk! I'll show you what happens to those who leave my cult! Where's my impaling pitchfork?
  • A Mondegreen in the "Old Macdonald" musical number, in which the "cluck" sounds like "fuck".
    Critic: Barney's Great Brothel was an unpopular working title, but they still managed to keep those lyrics in.
  • The Critic shows a bunch of characters when talking about how teeth can make characters menacing. He shows a picture of himself and says "just look at this asshole!"
  • After comparing Barney's lack of emotions to characters with more emotions, like Mister Rogers, the Critic wonders what Barney would be like if he talked about assassination, all the while keeping his happy demeanor.
    Critic (as Barney): Hey, kids! What does "assassination" mean? Is that when someone gets killed in a surprise way? That's what happened, you know. That man killed that other man!
  • I CAN'T SEE SHIT! PUSH ME TOWARD SOMETHING SOFT BEFORE I BREAK MY FRIGGIN' SPINE! (CRASH) MY FRIGGIN' SPINE!
  • Two of the Critic's jokes bring to mind two real life controversies Barney faced. The first involving how the show was being sued for its use of a song and the second being the fact that Barney's original actor now runs a tantric sex business.
  • This exchange during Baby Bop's first scene in the movie:
    Critic: They go to ask the grandparents if they know what it is and... (Baby Bop walks in) Oh, god! He procreates!
    Baby Bop: Oh! Oh, hello! My name is Baby Bop!
    Critic (As Baby Bop): I'm shedding, as you can see from this green falling off me! Fools, this isn't even my final form!
  • He sees one of the character's names is BJ and says that he's "gonna have a lot of fun in school".
  • This line when Barney searches the Chez Snobbe restaurant for the Dreammaker's egg:
    Critic (as Maitre D'): We have a strict "No Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Mascots in this establishment".
  • The Critic mentions that the Maitre D's face looks like he discovered that singing dancing purple dinosaurs are his fetish.
  • The moment where Barney trying appealing to the audience for help:
    Barney: I think we need your help! I'd like you to pretend that we can really fly.
    Critic: (100% deadpan) Nope.
    (cut to credits)
  • The Critic makes the Bait-and-Switch Comparison joke again with his father, but this time, Barney Walker delivers a Groin Attack to his son, causing him to fall on the ground.
    Barney: He's the Nostalgia Critic. And he's gonna remember that.
    Critic: (groans) Love you, Dad...
  • Doug's commercial for Hello Fresh is essentially him over the top horny (and making sounds) for the service. Extra funny considering the babyish movie he's reviewing.

    Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief 
  • This bit:
    Percy: He sleeps till noon every day, and he can't even hold a job. Why do you stay with him?
    Critic: (as Sally) I told you, sex! What, do I have to spell it out for you? Oh, that's right, I can't. Sorry.

    Kim Possible 
  • "Oh no, henchman Wilhelm is down!"
  • The Critic compares one triple-shot to a slot machine.
  • At one point, the Critic nervously asks if they're going to make a live action Gravity Falls movie.
  • Doug’s artsy Stamps commercial has him kiss himself in the mirror and then wipes it with his t-shirt, muttering that the con hotel staff are gonna hate him.
  • How does Doug take care of Kim's actor, Athena and the director of their Kim Possible movie? By summoning the Totally Spies! to annoy them.
  • After a de-aged Drakken comments on his changed voice:
    Critic!Drakken: I sound like Ron!

    The Lion King 
  • He gleefully points out some Values Resonance in Mufasa's lesson to Simba after the Elephant Graveyard.
    Mufasa: Simba, being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble.
    Critic!Simba: But the Internet says otherwise.
    Critic!Mufasa: Oh Christ!
    Critic!Simba: Twitter says I should always be offended.
    Critic!Mufasa: What did I tell you about them?!
    Critic!Simba: They need to see more physical people?
    Critic!Mufasa: And the sun! They need to see the sun!
  • "Mufasa saves Simba, and I blame bad parenting for what you're about to see here, because when you name one kid "Mufasa" meaning "king" and the other kid "Scar" meaning "Scar", aren't you just begging for something like this to happen?"

    Blade II 
  • In the scene in which a duo of vampires infiltrates Whistler's shop, Whistler just stands perfectly still with a blank look on his face, making no real effort to stop one from leaping at him and taking him down. Critic notes how it looks like he's just waiting to get beaten up.
    Critic!Whistler: Please take away my gun.
    (Get his gun taken away.)
    Critic!Whistler: Please punch me
    (gets punched.)
    Critic!Whistler: Please kill me for real next time in Blade 3

    That Darn Cat 
  • Throughout the review, the Critic and Brad voice their cats as characters. The cats comment on how (from their Xenofiction POV) the humans are just sitting there doing nothing.
  • Critic pointing out how stupid the characters are for mistaking a maraschino cherry stem for a bloody twig.

    The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones 
  • The Critic thinks that the robotic rooster crowing at the beginning of the movie (it opens in the Jetsons' time period) is an alarm version of Microsoft Bob.
  • When the Flintstones is first seen, Fred is forced awake from his sleep by Dino licking him in the face, prompting the Critic to think he will never again be able to look at "Weird Al" Yankovic doing his weird tongue trick, as seen in his video for "Bedrock Anthem".
  • The Critic being traumatized by hearing Fred Flintstone use the word "sexy."
  • The Critic questions how a time machine, Elroy's school project, can be used as a school project, thinking that is the equivalent of bringing a corpse back to life for a religious studies class.
  • In the movie, when the Flintstones' shower, consisting of an elephant using its trunk to provide the water, is cold, Wilma decides that she will have the plumber bring in a new elephant the next day, prompting the Critic to worry what they do with the old elephants, showing an image of the elephant graveyard from The Lion King (1994).
  • When Spacely, suspecting George is a leak for Cogswell Cogs, sends him to Cogswell to spy on him to clear his name, the Critic questions this, thinking that this is the equivalent of Major Toht being sent in to tattle on Adolf Hitler.

    Mulan II 

    Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip 

    Pink Floyd: The Wall 
  • During the Comfortably Dumb segment, Critic is in a field at sunset and it’s all shot very pretty and cinematic, until he mouths “where the fuck am I?”
    It Chapter Two 
  • Walter, dressed as Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker, is talking with Skarsgård Pennywise about the latter's use of jump scares when someone chimes on from offscreen..
    (Cut to Curry Pennywise w/ a Jump Scare sound effect)
    Walter: (Yelps in fear)
    C Pennywise: (Also yelps) What? I'm just sitting here!
    Walter: I know, I'm just... scared of clowns.
    (C Pennywise just looks at the man dressed as Phoenix's Joker with You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me! all over his face.)
  • Curry Pennywise tries to defend the more cliche moments of the film as taking jabs at how ridiculous the miniseries's ending was, and claims that the film clearly doesn't end as ridiculously, only to notice the Oh, Crap! look on Skarsgård Pennywise's face.
    C Pennywise: ...You didn't, did you? You didn't put in the spider, did you?
    S Pennywise: (sheepishly) Well, I...
    C Pennywise: (absolutely disgusted) YOU DID.
    S Pennywise: Look, can we discuss this later?
    C Pennywise: I should have mailed the script to R. L. Stine.
    S Pennywise: Hey, you had a spider too!
    C Pennywise: I was a miniseries with Seth Green; how else could it end?!

    Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight 

    Venom 
  • STEM making Nostalgia Critic hit himself.
  • Nostalgia Critic comparing Tom Hardy's attempt at an American accent to John Travolta and Adam Sandler.
  • When Nostalgia Critic asks the viewer to see Upgrade near the end of the review:
    Nostalgia Critic: Am I ever getting control of my body back?
    STEM: No. I see what you do at night.
    Nostalgia Critic: That's fair.

    Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island 
  • When Fred pulls off the zombie's head, screams and throws the zombie head at Daphne, who in turn throws it at Shaggy:
    Critic: Well, I never thought I'd say this in a Scooby-Doo movie, but holy shit!
  • In the middle of Doug's Extreme ad for stamps, he has to take a breath with no green screen cos “it’s taking a lot out of me”.
  • During a shot of Daphne and Velma being pulled to safety by Shaggy and Fred, Critic points out that based on her previous position (hanging onto Daphne's ankle), Velma would have had to climb up Daphne in order to reach Shaggy's hand:
    Critic: Yeah, they cut the part where Velma climbed Daphne in order to reach Shaggy's hand. You know exactly why.

    Justice League 
  • Jeremy Scott of CinemaSins isn't in the room physically. He is represented by written text spoken in his disembodied voice.
  • The YouTubers need the assistance of The Angry Video Game Nerd, but they realize he's dead. The Nerd is then shown, very much alive, with a flesh-colored censor bar over his upper lip, which is censoring — very poorly — an obvious mustache underneath.
    AVGN: Oh, yeah, I'm totally dead.
    • In response, the Critic cautions the Nerd to not come and save them in their time of need, because "dead people have a bad habit of doing that."
  • It turns that Cyborg is the one who summoned the YouTubers. However, they have a hard time figuring out who he is.
    Cyborg: It's me, Cyborg! (beat) From the Justice League.
    (The YouTubers remain silent)
    Cyborg: Teen Titans?
    (The YouTubers still remain silent)
    Cyborg: (getting frustrated) Go.
    YouTubers: (now getting it) Oh, yeah, yeah!

    Frozen 
  • When an ugly troll wants to keep Kristoff and Sven, Critic runs captions saying "Alarming", "Disturbing", and "A Possible Kidnapping".
    • Later, Critic takes invisible hits to the testicles during the trolls' infamous song.
  • Critic still can't come up with a joke for the "chocolate" scene.
  • When Elsa is asked to take her gloves off during the coronation, NC overlays her glare with "Note to self: EXECUTE."
  • When the opening notes of "Let It Go" start playing, Critic's ears explode.
    Critic: Sorry! That's the reaction every adult has now when they hear those five notes!
    • Critic summarizes the average reaction to this song using a clip from The Great Gatsby (2013) where an enraged Gatsby yells "SHUT UP!" nonstop.
    • When he calls it a good song, he dodges a bullet from the audience.
  • "Olaf is given his own personal flurry, Hans is given his own personal meme, and I'm still convinced Kristoff is dragging around a dead animal."
  • After many years, The Critic finally uses the old 'I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!' Joke.
    Critic: Yeah, you would have killed me if I didn't put that in.

    Planet of the Commercials 
  • The Critic gets exposed to the British version of the Cadbury Caramel Bunny, whose soothing, husky voice makes him think wrong things. Wrong things about bunnies.
    Critic: For years all Americans had was Space Jam to quench their growing bunny sex thirst, there was this treasure trove for a select audience the whole time?!
    Bunny: Hey Mr. Beaver, why are you beavering around?
    Critic: That was not a mistake. None of this was by accident.
    • He eventually concludes that she must have her own sex line with a voice like she has.
      Critic: Whether it's a cute bunny who likes to cluck, or a cute bunny who likes to... Happy snowman! These are intresting commercials, to say the least.
  • Critic's many attempts to get rid of his special guest, Michael, after being bored of his story of making the song for the Flintstones Vitamins commercial, from pushing him down a hole in the building, to putting him in a box and throwing him off a cliff, to sending him to Mars, all failing after Michael tells his rescuers his story.

    The Grinch (2018) 
  • The Critic making fun of Benedict Cumberbatch's bad American accent in this film and other works.
  • The Critic's Christmas' cry this year involves transforming into his Christmas attire in the style of the transformation of Sailor Moon. Unfortunately, it turns out too much like Sailor Moon's transformation, as he is now wearing a blue skirt instead of pants. He tries to correct this, only to get an even shorter skirt. When Malcolm and Tamara tell him what's going on, he says that he doesn't mind, saying that this is freeing.
    Tamara: It doesn't look freeing.
    Critic: I feel alive. Very alive.
    Malcolm: You look dead. Very dead.
    • So they decide to rectify his situation by giving him a huge red bow and purple boots, which irritates him.
      Critic: There isn't a name yet for the hell I have planned for you, but rest assured, you will be screaming in it.
  • Critic points out how all the film adaptations give the Grinch an unnecessary backstory:
    Critic: Every version says his hatred of Christmas is a mystery but only one version actually leaves it a mystery!
  • The Critic after the part where the Grinch is about to cut the roast meat:
    Critic: So what kind of meat is this? Reindeer? FRED!
  • The film ends with the camera pulling away from Whoville and stopping on a mountain goat that lets out a scream. Then we cut to a clip of Young Frankenstein.
    Igor: Quiet dignity and grace.

    Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause 
  • Scott goes to his ex-wife's house to find that he barely sees his son. Cut to an earlier scene in the film where Santa hugs Charlie with the accompanying caption: "Screen Time Together: 1 minute 32 Seconds"
    Critic: Because that was so different before!
  • Critic is creeped out when the film ends on a closeup of the baby smiling in a creepy way.

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