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This page is Herc approved.
Never was the word "comic" more appropriate than in these scenes.
- Transmetropolitan. "Magical Truthsaying Bastard Spidey".
- My favorite part in terms of laugh-out-loud funny was when Spider found the group of "fundamentalist Christians" trying to stone a man to death on the street for watching a skin flick with his girlfriend. After hearing them talk about how they're in the right and they deserve to beat a man to death with rocks, Spider just calmly pulls out his bowel disruptor and points it at their ringleader.
Christian: What's that?
Spider Jerusalem: It's a bowel disruptor. And you're just /full/ of shit.
- "Do not lie to the chair leg of truth, for it is wise and terrible!"
Spider Jerusalem: Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes.
- Preacher: "Bob Glover. Freddy Allen. Sexual Investigators!"
- To be more specific, what they do to Starr: "There's no use strugglin', lad! You're gettin' it up the choccy starfish!"
- Speaking of Starr, doesn't he ask Margaret Thatcher at a party: " How much to piss on your face? No, really."
- And a nine-panel page of Starr practicing his Travis Bickle in front of a mirror: "Doom cock!.... DOOM cock!.... Dooooooom cock!"
- Speaking of Preacher, which has so many great lines, there is this. And as you read, remember that this is being delivered completely deadpan in the book: "Things proceeded on, as they normally do, until the day that T.C. fucked the chicken."
- From Watchmen, Laurie's attempt to find Archie's cigarette lighter. Followed shortly afterward by her finding out she almost fired the ship's air to air missles.
- From The Authority, The Surgeon, after invading the collective human contiousness(aka Garden of Ancestral Memory), proceeds to create a new religion, one that is more... let's say... commercially aligned. The result is a hilarious creature/god that looks like a mix of Krishna, a cherub, and pikachu. It's name? RELIGIMON!!!
- From the many moments in the Asterix books, this troper always laughs at a certain moment of Asterix in Corsica, where a boat is sunk by an exploding cheese. Seriously.
Pirate Captain: There's a strange smell down there. Like a cheese gone mad.
- Asterix trying to sell a herd of boars, and ending up in a shouting contest with another boar salesman. Made doubly funny by Obelix refusing to rise to the occasion.
Boar Salesman: BOARS, BOARS! BEST PRIME BOARS!
Asterix: BOOOOOOOAAAAARS, BOOOOOOAAAAARS, BEST PRIME BOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARS!!!
Obelix: (Very quietly) Boars, boars, best prime boars.
- The Roman orgie illustrated in Asterix In Switzerland. Also, from Asterix And The Secret Weapon, when the female legionnaries have gotten instated. (Their introduction also qualifies, with all of the legionnaries having a reaction in the vein of Head Tiltingly Kinky.)
Legionnaire 1: If women can join the legions now, what use are we going to be?
Legionnaire 2: I could tell you! I wouldn't even mind being a domesticus in that camp!
- Empowered — the whole of Thugboy's little 'Ode to Joyful Booty':
Thugboy: I will not stand idly by and allow a world-class derrière to remain uncommented-upon. That's just how I roll, son.
- "Elephants, Cups and Canoes" in Vol. 4, which pushes unusual euphemisms to new,visual heights. "He's gone rogue!" "Aieee! Me canoe be swampin'!". It's very wrong,but this editor fell about laughing.
- The doctor's nametag from the same volume.
- The bit where Thugboy talks about working for a Nazi supervillain. "Yeah, sure I'm half-Japanese, but I'm also one-quarter Italian and one-quarter German! I'm All Axis Power baby!"
- Emp introducing the Superhomies to the concept of Yaoi fanfiction.
- And earlier, when she finds an Emp/Spooky fic.
- Practically everything that comes out of Caged Demonwolf's mouth.
- All the Sam And Max comics are funny, but the one-page Our Bewildering Universe has some of the best:
Sam: Try imagining how far the universe extends! Keep thinking about it until you go insane.
and
Title: Max's World of Discovery
Max: Here's an experiment you can do! Leave a bag of bread on top of the refrigerator for a long time. It will eventually turn grey and taste bad. Now throw it into the street.
and
Title: Baffling Animal Wonders
Sam: (pointing at a tapir) Look at that. Isn't it ridiculous? Maybe it will leave if we all laugh at it.
- A couple of moments from Disney Comics:
- From The Life And Times Of Scrooge Mc Duck Part 10: The Invader of Fort Duckburg, Scrooge's sister (and eventually Donald Duck's mother) Hortense chasing off a cavalry charge by herself.
- What of Scrooge and Goldie's story back in his Klondike days isn't heartbreaking is absolutely hilarious. See: the "rescue" during the burning saloon scene in "Hearts of the Yukon".
- One scene with Mo and her girlfriend, Sydney the gender studies professor, in Dykes To Watch Out For:
Sydney: Yes! I'll come to the movies with you! Now say it! Say it!
Mo (looking bored:) Oh baby. Let me privilege lesbian positionality by destabilizing your bodily metanarrative.
- Hellboy: The following scene from "Box Full of Evil". It Makes Sense In Context, but it does not change how it's hilarious.
Hellboy: He's got a gun!
- What else can be said, except 'pancakes'?
- From "The Iron Prometheus":
Jim Sacks: (Looks at him like he's an idiot) No.
- A great one towards the end of The Ahakista Gambit story arc of the Star Wars: Rebellion series. Main characters Wyl Tarson and Laynara are inspecting "one of those impenetrable doors" (Don't you just hate them?) that they need to get through. Not to worry, they've brought tech expert and Snarky Non Human Side Kick Baco Par along to open it. Then they turn around to see Baco pointing a blaster at them. He knows they're planning to betray him, he's a little ticked off that they kidnapped him for this caper, and the empire can have the galaxy.
Baco: Some people just want to be left alone! Some people just aren't good enough to make a difference! Don't you get that?!
Laynara: (plucks Baco's blaster out of his hand) You're shaking. Don't be afraid, Baco—you can do this.
Baco: Yes, I—you wouldn't happen to have a drink on you, do you?
Laynara: No.
Baco: I suppose I'd better get on with it, then.
- The disgruntled teammate's cut-and-run gambit subverted in nothing flat.
- YOU HAD A SEXY PHASE!?
- Any time Wallace gets drunk and starts yelling. "BREAK HER FACE, RAMONA! BREAK HER HORSEY OL' FACE!!"
- The entire scene in Honest Ed's. It has to be seen to be believed. Also:
Todd: The De-Veganization ray! I can dodge this!
But he couldn't.
- Do you want to have sex? I think we should have sex. CASUAL SEX.
- In Deff Skwadron if it wasn't awesome it was funny. From the way orks "aim" (if you hit it, it must be the enemy!'', to a battle where another skwadron didn't show up because they're thinking about joining the other side.
- Pick a moment from the Tintin comics involving Professor Calculus. Any moment.
Haddock: But we are in Jakarta!
Calculus: Really? I could have sworn we were in Jakarta...
- The bit in Destination Moon after Captain Haddock refers to Calculus as a "goat"
Calculus: (while crashing a jeep through a guard outpost) MAKE WAY FOR THE GOAT!!
- The bit from "Red Rackham's Treasure", where Thomson and Thompson try to help with navigating. After reading the coordinates they give him, Captain Haddock takes his hat off and says a short, silent prayer. The reason? "According to these coordinates, gentlemen, we're currently standing inside Westminster Abbey!"
- Though it's composed mainly of High Octane Nightmare Fuel, Stone Island does have a few funny moments, particularly when the hideously disfugured Harry Rivers lets rip:
Trooper Mckee: Why aren't we getting cut to ribbons?
Harry: Well, in my professional opinion as runner-up in the prolapsed arsehole lookalike contest, I'd say it's got somethin' t'do with them fairy fellas!
- This speech from Harry:
In 1897, the right Reverend Jephson Allcock, humanitarian, philanthropist and inventor of the "strike a light" reusable match, decided the lost souls of Long Barrow needed more than just a pot to piss in. Now he had some clout did the Reverend Jeph, moral and monetary. He convinced the board of governors to come around to his way of thinking; lo it came to pass there was to be a khazi in every cell, 'cept there was a catch- this cold-titted bitch of a building's solid granite. You stand more chance of charmin' a nun's knickers off than drivin' a nail in the wall. So they rebuilt Long Barrow inside itself, like them Russian dolls, with all the gubbins in the gap. Which is why we're clingin' to this 'ere wall like crabs on a nadger, tryin' not to soil ourselves... which is quite ironic when you think about it! Ain't the Internet grand?
- "What did your last servant die of?" "Anally inserted footwear! Jump to it!"
- In ABC Warriors, when a group of Hammerstein units realize they're facing certain destruction. "We can die knowing that we were cost-effective."
- Cassie Hack versus Pokemon.
 ◊
Cassie: (hacking Pokemon expies to bits) Come get it you lil' fuckers! Lil' Japanese gut bags! Yeah, that's right! Only good for giving seizures, ain't ya!
- While the totally Canon Dis Continuity Star Wars comic books starring Tag & Bink might be considered a Crowning Moment Of Funny for Star Wars comics generally, they have their own when Imperial agents shoot the spy who gave Tag and Bink information about the second Death Star. The spy's name? Manny Both-Hans.
- Archie Andrews is pretty tame considering that it's about one of the horniest (yet virgin) teenage boys in America, and his escapades as he dates nearly every teenage girl in town (two of them steadily (and sometimes both at once) ). Very rarely it will get a bit risque, such as in one story when Archie, Veronica, and Betty are at the beach. Betty and Veronica go swimming while Archie goes fishing and ignores them. Veronica, upset at being ignored, has Betty bring her her spare swimsuit, which she hooks onto Archie's fishing line and claims that he ripped it off of her body. Archie runs and steals a beach towel for her to cover up with and throws it to her. Veronica emerges from the water wrapped in the towel, when the towel's owner shows up and demands it back. Of course, at this point Archie thinks she's stark naked underneath, so when she casually takes it off to return it, Archie faints from shock. That's not the funny part. The funny part is the reaction of two 12-year-old boys who witnessed this:
Boy # 1: What made him faint?
Boy # 2: The sight of her in a swimsuit.
Boy # 1: Eh, I've seen better.
- From Archie's Sonic Universe # 16: Recently exposed as a spy, Epsio reveals dirt on Sonic ("The Sneak."), Tails "Captain Super Fox-Man."), and Sally. ("The location of your royal birthmark.")
- "Now I'm RADIOACTIVE! That can't be good!"
- Bone's revelation of the "omen" that led the Hooded One to look for Phoney: it was his giant campaign balloon with a torn banner saying "PHONCIBLE P. BONE WILL GET YOU *
R VOTE ." Even better because of all the prior mystery and immediately-prior dramatic buildup.
- From Wanted:
- The failed attempt at summoning a demon in Hellblazer, "Son of Man."
Shadowy Figure: IIII AM AN ANAR-KYST! IIII AM AN ANTI-CHRIST!!
Shadowy Figure: AW WHY WON'T ISS FACKIN', FACKIN', FACKIN BASS WORRRRRKK?!!
Constantine: 'Cos you dunno how to play it, Sid. On your bike.
- After Freddie's "fight" with Katchoo in Strangers In Paradise:
Casey: Freddie! Say something!
- In Generation 2: Redux, we have this golden moment:
Clench: "Cindersaur! Eat this." * tosses him a canister of Forestonite*
Sky-Byte: "No! It's not meant to be taken orally!"
- In Gold Digger, when Brianna introduces Peecee to the outside world:
Peecee: AAAAAH! BIG! WIDE! OPEN!! AND THERE'S A BALL OF SUPERHEATED GAS SHOOTING RADIATION AT US!!! AAAAAH!
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