Funny / Diabolik

  • The final panel of Mocking Diabolik. As he told Altea how he made a fool of Diabolik, Ginko admitted he knew since the beginning that Diabolik was listening everything he said, but he wasn't expecting for the bug to be the last round of of his gun. His WTF face when the fake round broke instead of firing was priceless.
    • From the same story, Diabolik's own face when he discovered exactly how Ginko secured his target. Made even better because Eva herself is forcing herself not to laugh.
  • In a special issue Diabolik stole a Jaguar from an exposition dedicated to him.
    • In another special set in the city of Lucca during the city-wide comic book expo Diabolik escaped by giving away suits like his own and dressing himself and Eva with fat Diabolik suits to get Ginko to not check them long enough for him to reach his car.
    Cop: "Were they giving away cars like Diabolik's one too?"
    Ginko: "No, of course- Beat THAT ACCURSED CRIMINAL!"
  • In one occasion Ginko complained about the costumed party he had been duped to attend, as Altea was being targeted by a terrorist organization and, as he noted, anyone could enter the party with a costume and some smarts. Then we notice that Diabolik and Eva are attending the party with fake identities and costumes...
    • Becomes even funnier later in the story when we find out that the leader of that terrorist organization was attending the party too, and had entered without invitation exactly as described by Ginko.
  • During a heist in a Banana Republic Diabolik assumed the identity of a cop he had killed. When the coroner gave the hour of the death of the cop, it caused a zombie scare. Even Diabolik found it amusing...
  • In an amusing instance of Ripped from the Headlines, a short story had Clerville switching from its unnamed currency to Euro with a series of documents to be presented to change sums over a set limit, and Diabolik's reaction to the news that he had to get those documents or become dirt poor was priceless.
  • After a particularly stressing misadventure, Diabolik and Eva decide to go on vacation in a foreign country where nobody know them and they'll be able to go around without masks. The day after arriving they open the door of their bungalow... And discover that Ginko and Altea are there on vacation for their same reason. Cue this exchange:
    Eva: "Love, aren't those Ginko's own words?"
  • An Italian radio station announces they will broadcast a show on Diabolik... So Eva and Altea break in separately to check if the show portrayed Ginko and Diabolik in-character, ready to destroy the tapes if it didn't.
    • Once inside they meet, look at each other... And team up to check things faster, snarking all the time at the expense of each other's lovers.
  • In one occasion a young Diabolik fan was bragging he knew everything about him. Cue a disguised Diabolik making a question fans have been making from the start:
    Little fan *after realizing he doesn't know*: "Tell me!"
    Diabolik: "Never."
    Eva: "You're so a Troll..."
  • During the story On the Morgue's Table, an insomniac man gunned down Diabolik and Eva. The media started announcing the King of Terror's death... And, on a yacht, we have this reaction:
    Eva: "What?! We're dead?!"
    • Also, Ginko's reaction upon learning that the dead Diabolik and Eva were impostors who had raided one of Diabolik's refuges and were using his own masks to steal his identity.
  • In "International Conspiracy", Eva disguised herself as a police officer, and arrested a corrupted cop. What did she say to Diabolik after returning?
    Eva: "It's a lifetime I wanted to say 'In the name of the law, you're under arrest!'"
  • People don't always take Ginko seriously:
    Ginko: All of the trains stop, right?
    Worker: What a deduction! If they don’t stop, they’d run us over!
    Ginko: I mean do you stop those that also pass at night!
  • For the younger readers, finding out that Diabolik used to be The Casanova before meeting Eva.
  • The special issue "Ratolik", written and drawn by Leo Ortolani of Rat-Man fame. Why? Because it's an hell of a parody, poking fun at everything in Ortolani's usual style and with Rat-Man characters replacing the Diabolik ones. The replacements? Diabolik is obviously replaced by Rat-Man, Ginko by Brakko, and Eva by Cinzia the transgender hooker.
    • According to Ortolani and "Ratolik", Diabolik's distinctive hairdo is actually an helmet that is screwed on his head.
    • For some reason, a vault contained Fury.
  • In an early story, Diabolik dressed up as a mummy.
  • This gem from "Hours of Anguish":
    Altea's cousin: "I don't fear Diabolik. And I'm absolutely sure he cannot enter in this manor."
    Diabolik disguised as Ginko: "Count, you shouldn't be so sure."
    • After which the count proceeded to show Diabolik exactly what should have kept him out had he not entered from the main gate.
      • By the way, the last defence of the count's diamonds, the one that shows the desperation of the people trying to keep Diabolik out: he put the diamonds in a chest and the chest in a pool with a giant octopus. That one would have worked, had Diabolik not been told of it...
    • And if you're wondering where Ginko was during all this... Diabolik had him committed to an asylum.
  • Due a series of coincidences, two scientists who were kidnapping and killing people to try and cure haemophilia and their haemophilic son managed to kidnap Diabolik, and once they realized the situation they decided to blackmail Eva Kant to get them some masks with fake IDs, a lot of money, and plane tickets for a foreign country in exchange for Diabolik. Eva gave them what they asked... And choose masks reproducing the faces of three wanted criminals. And called the police on them after freeing Diabolik.
  • In an early story, Altea wanted to get Ginko to come with her on a vacation. How did she do it? She entered the police station to denounce a theft but insisted for telling Ginko, and when Ginko told his men to let this mysterious woman in she promptly accused him of stealing her heart and declared him under arrest, charged him with corruption for kissing her, and sentenced him to take a vacation.
  • In one heist, Diabolik and Eva had to deal with two ferocious dogs. How did they put them to sleep? With a remote-controlled robotic cat. That Eva couldn't help but cuddle.
  • The sheer absurdity of Diabolik's trouble in "Diabolik Is Innocent": Diabolik was impersonating the count Beltran when he was arrested for the count's wife's murder, but Diabolik knows the count is innocent, even if he can't prove it, because when the wife died the count was drugged up and sleeping in one of Diabolik's refuges.
    • It fell to Eva to prove the count's innocence and thus save Diabolik. How did she do it? After realizing the wife had killed herself and framed the husband, she enlisted Ginko's help. And Ginko, being Ginko, solved the case in about two hours from entering the place where the wife's body had been found (with most of the time spent waiting for the frogmen to find the evidence that confirmed his guess).
  • Diabolik calling the police, and Ginko in particular, on a gang of smugglers that could have given him trouble in "The Route of the Diamonds". Even the boss of the smugglers had a good laugh when she realized why Ginko had suddenly appeared...
  • Diabolik's sheer bad luck at the start of "Inside Diabolik's Hideout". He and Eva are on vacation, minding their own things while on their luxury motorboat, Diabolik decides to have some fun scuba diving and finds an old galleon containing a treasure... And then, in quick succession, the following happens: Diabolik is attacked by a giant octopus and gets wounded as he kills it; because of where they anchored their boat and being a man and a woman, Diabolik and Eva get mistaken by two drug dealers for their suppliers showing up early; worse, the police was lying in ambush, and while Diabolik was smart enough to throw overboard the masks he had with him the cops dived underwater to search for the drug they thought had been thrown overboard, forcing him to knock out the cop remained on their boat and run while the cops found both masks and galleon.
    • After the galleon is recovered, the treasure is to be exposed in a museum, Ginko is talking with the director... And, at the second question about the new alarms that were being installed, Ginko's men suddenly hold the director at gunpoint while the inspector pinches his nose to check for a mask. Sure, Ginko had a point, given how many times he had talked with a disguised Diabolik without knowing, but it's still ridiculous.
      • Later in the story, Ginko finds a body whose face had been altered to resemble that of the director. Cue Ginko jumping the director and trying to rip his face (in the meantime, Diabolik was using the ruse to bypass the checks and steal the treasure).
  • In "Eva and Ginko", a Diabolik impersonator steals from Diabolik's own home. Diabolik was not amused. The readers were.
  • In "Tragic Encounter", Diabolik taking offence at a luna park show that ends with him and Ginko killing each other because it showed Ginko getting caught from behind and surviving the knife long enough to shoot him, and steals his wife's jewels while 'signing' the heist in retaliation.
  • In "The Crazy Robbery" one-shot character and former robber Davide Brenner needed to contact Diabolik. His solution: walk in front of a newspaper holding a sign saying "I need to talk with Diabolik" (Justified because Brenner was an extremely intelligent man but also crazy and delusional). It worked better than anticipated: he expected the journalists to take pictures, take his story and publish it, and what he got was that and Diabolik taking him to his car (he happened to be passing by when Brenner showed up with the sign).
  • In "Commissioned Murder", Eva's half-amused half-exhasperated face when the woman of the gangster who had accidentally kidnapped her declared herself more beautiful than her.
  • In "Deadly Scheme", Diabolik hid a body in the trunk of Ginko's car.
  • In "Ginko's Ambush", Diabolik has just committed a difficult caper, and upon returning home he announces it. Eva replied by tricking him into believing she had read his success on her cards.
    • Later in the same story, Diabolik takes a room in a low-class motel and has Eva come there in spite of knowing she hates those places. She shows up disguised as the ugliest old lady she could put together in a pinch, knowing he hates such situations... And that Diabolik's fake identity would appear as having an ugly old woman as his lover.
  • "The Police Are the Accomplices" is full of these:
    • The issue opens with two restaurant patrons finding out that someone with a tow truck stole their car while they were eating, in broad daylight. As soon as they're alone, their dialogue reveals it's Diabolik and Eva Kant. Who can't help but admit the thieves were good for stealing their car.
    • A prostitute tries and enters the police station. The guard tries and stops her... Then apologizes when he recognizes a superior in disguise.
    • Ginko acts on the disguised cop's information to catch a drug smuggler in the act. How does he explain his presence to the unsuspecting criminal, masquerading as the owner of an art gallery, before revealing the drugs? He says he and the cops were just passing by and decided to take a look because they were bored.
      • The drugs and the money to pay for it are hidden in two statues, but Ginko knows only in which one were the drugs and the trafficker proclaims his innocence. How does Ginko convinces him to confess and tell him where the money is?
      Ginko: "Well, if you're innocent and can't help us, I have no choice but break every single statue 'till I find the money."
      Trafficker: "No! There are masterpieces!"
    • After learning that the police confiscated a lot of money during the arrest, Diabolik decides to steal it. But the money is in the police safe, and only Ginko, who is immune to Truth Serum, knows how to open it. So, how does he do it? Easy: the subplot of the car theft led to him getting his hands on a skin-penetrating generosity gas (it wipes out all aggressivity and sense of ownership, making everyone generous and selfless) and its antidote. Hilarity Ensues:
      • Ginko is lured to the police safe, with the room filled with the gas... So Diabolik, after sneaking in, has Ginko open the safe and put the money in a bag. Eva, who is listening through the radio, is seen chuckling at the scene.
      • Diabolik is about to leave... Then the antidote wears off. Cue Diabolik trying to give back the money, with Ginko and the cops telling him to keep it. In the end they decide to burn them.
      • Having listened to everything, the very bemused Eva arrives after the gas has disperded and right before they can produce the matches:
      Eva: "I want the money... Give it to me!"
      Ginko: "With pleasure, this way we won't discuss about it anymore!"
      Diabolik: "But dear, what will we do with it?!"
      Eva: "Don't worry, I know it! Now come with me... We must go home. *to Ginko and the cops* You stay here!"
      Diabolik: "Well, goodbye!"
      Ginko: "Goodbye!""
      Random cop: "Ciao!"
    • The rear cover, dedicated to one of the story's characters as usual page, shows Ginko... Still depressed for what he did in the episode.
  • In "An Inconvenient Death" Diabolik has kidnapped and replaced Ginko for a heist when he's assigned to investigate three deaths, two lovers and the cuckholded husband of the female lover. Realizing they're all murders but the killer made it appear the husband killed them and committed suicide he starts explaining Ginko's squad the scene as the killed tried to make it appear... And then, much to his horror, one of the cops asks him if he's testing them and proceeds to explain the ruse, with Diabolik silently cursing Ginko for training his men so well the whole time.