Funny / Diabolik

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

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• The final panel of Mocking Diabolik. As he told Altea how he made a fool of Diabolik, Ginko admitted he knew since the beginning that Diabolik was listening everything he said, but he wasn't expecting for the bug to be the last round of of his gun. His WTF face when the fake round broke instead of firing was priceless.
  • From the same story, Diabolik's own face when he discovered exactly how Ginko secured his target. Made even better because Eva herself is forcing herself not to laugh.
• The non-canon issues dedicated to some event:
  • Diabolik stealing a Jaguar from an exposition dedicated to himself.
  • In a story set in the city of Lucca during the city-wide comic book expo Diabolik escaped by giving away suits like his own and dressing himself and Eva with fat Diabolik suits to get Ginko to not check them long enough for him to reach his car.
    Cop: "Were they giving away cars like Diabolik's one too?"
    Ginko: "No, of course- Beat THAT ACCURSED CRIMINAL!"
  • In an amusing instance of Ripped from the Headlines, the story where Clerville switches from its unnamed currency to Euros with a series of documents to be presented to change sums over a set limit... Documents that Diabolik can't have, for obvious reasons. His reaction when he realizes he's about to become dirt poor is priceless.
  • Also, the plight of the entrepreneur from which Diabolik stole the documents... And from which Eva stole an Euroconverter: Diabolik had some issues at adapting to the new currency...
  • An Italian radio station announces they will broadcast a show on Diabolik... So Eva and Altea break in separately to check if the show portrayed Ginko and Diabolik in-character, ready to destroy the tapes if it didn't.
    • Once inside they meet, look at each other... And team up to check things faster, snarking all the time at the expense of each other's lovers.
  • In one occasion a young Diabolik fan was bragging he knew everything about him. Cue a disguised Diabolik making a question fans have been making from the start:
  Diabolik: "Where does he keep his knives when he wears his suit?"
  Little fan *after realizing he doesn't know*: "Tell me!"
  Diabolik: "Never."
  Eva: "You're so a Troll..."
  • The entirety "Ratolik", written and drawn by Leo Ortolani of Rat-Man fame. Why? Because it's an hell of a parody, poking fun at everything in Ortolani's usual style and with Rat-Man characters replacing the Diabolik ones. The replacements? Diabolik is obviously replaced by Rat-Man, Ginko by Brakko, and Eva by Cinzia the transgender hooker.
    • According to Ortolani and "Ratolik", Diabolik's distinctive hairdo is actually an helmet that is screwed on his head.
    • For some reason, a vault contained Fury.
  • In "Celebrity Hunted" Diabolik and Eva learns of the Italian edition of the reality, where a group of celebrities have to go on the run while former police detectives try and track them down, decide it reminds them of their own adventures with Ginko... And start disguising themselves as the hunted celebrities and let themselves get spotted around Italy. Why? Because right now they've got nothing better to do.
    • When the celebrities start being spotted around Italy at far too great distances, the Hunters are obviously surprised... And that's when Ginko appears, as he fully expected Diabolik to pull a stunt like that and was apparently waiting for the criminals to give him reason to pull a dramatic entrance.
    • Ginko thinks that Diabolik was gunning for the prize and wants to jump him at the award ceremony, but the show's staff reveals that his interference has obviously invalidated everything. A Smash Cut later it's revealed that Diabolik knew it perfectly... And he and Eva were indeed just trolling the show.
  • In "A Stradivarious for Eva Kant" (made to celebrate both the Diabolik exposition in Cremona, the impending opening of the local Violin Museum and the 50 years of the series), Diabolik stole a Stradivarius violin with three diamonds in it while it was being played on top of the Torrazzo... And one of the cops running up it trying to stop him complains of the 502-steps stairs.
    • After Diabolik escapes, the authorities are obviously furious... But calm down when Diabolik gives back the intact violin without the diamonds, because they just don't care of some diamonds as long as they have their Stradivarius back to be played. The best part? The locals are really that obsessed with violins, to the point of actually building a museum dedicated to violins and their history and writing this very story.
    • And knowing it was locals to write the story, the complaint about the 502-steps stairs can be read as the writer complaining of when he visited the Torrazzo and had to climb those stairs.
• In one occasion Ginko complained about the costumed party he had been duped to attend, as Altea was being targeted by a terrorist organization and, as he noted, anyone could enter the party with a costume and some smarts. Then we notice that Diabolik and Eva are attending the party with fake identities and costumes...
  • Becomes even funnier later in the story when we find out that the leader of that terrorist organization was attending the party too, and had entered without invitation exactly as described by Ginko.
• During a heist in a Banana Republic Diabolik assumed the identity of a cop he had killed. When the coroner gave the hour of the death of the cop, it caused a zombie scare. Even Diabolik found it amusing...
  • Even better, Gustavo Garian was there... And when he read on the papers about the zombie he correctly guessed it was actually Diabolik and made Ginko come there.
    Gustavo: "If you find that someone died before he was last seen around, what do you think?"
    Ginko: "It's Diabolik."
• After a particularly stressing misadventure, Diabolik and Eva decide to go on vacation in a foreign country where nobody know them and they'll be able to go around without masks. The day after arriving they open the door of their bungalow... And discover that Ginko and Altea are there on vacation for their same reason. Cue this exchange:
  Diabolik: "DAMN IT! THAT ACCURSED INSPECTOR IS ALWAYS IN THE WAY!"
  Eva: "Love, aren't those Ginko's own words?"
• During the story On the Morgue's Table, an insomniac man gunned down Diabolik and Eva. The media started announcing the King of Terror's death... And, on a yacht, we have this reaction:
  Eva: "What?! We're dead?!"
  Diabolik: "It must have been impostors... Very convincing ones, if the police still has to find out..."
  • Also, Ginko's reaction upon learning that the dead Diabolik and Eva were impostors who had raided one of Diabolik's refuges and were using his own masks to steal his identity.
• In "International Conspiracy", Eva disguised herself as a police officer, and arrested a corrupted cop. What did she say to Diabolik after returning?
  Eva: "It's a lifetime I wanted to say 'In the name of the law, you're under arrest!'"
• People don't always take Ginko seriously:
  Ginko: All of the trains stop, right?
  Worker: What a deduction! If they don’t stop, they’d run us over!
  Ginko: I mean do you stop those that also pass at night!
• For the younger readers, finding out that Diabolik used to be The Casanova before meeting Eva.
• In an early story, Diabolik dressed up as a mummy.
• This gem from "Hours of Anguish":
  Altea's cousin: "I don't fear Diabolik. And I'm absolutely sure he cannot enter in this manor."
  Diabolik disguised as Ginko: "Count, you shouldn't be so sure."
  • After which the count proceeded to show Diabolik exactly what should have kept him out had he not entered from the main gate.
    • By the way, the last defence of the count's diamonds, the one that shows the desperation of the people trying to keep Diabolik out: he put the diamonds in a chest and the chest in a pool with a giant octopus. That one would have worked, had Diabolik not been told of it...
  • And if you're wondering where Ginko was during all this... Diabolik had him committed to an asylum.
• Due a series of coincidences, two scientists who were kidnapping and killing people to try and cure haemophilia and their haemophilic son managed to kidnap Diabolik, and once they realized the situation they decided to blackmail Eva Kant to get them some masks with fake IDs, a lot of money, and plane tickets for a foreign country in exchange for Diabolik. Eva gave them what they asked... And choose masks reproducing the faces of three wanted criminals. And called the police on them after freeing Diabolik.
• In an early story, Altea wanted to get Ginko to come with her on a vacation. How did she do it? She entered the police station to denounce a theft but insisted for telling Ginko, and when Ginko told his men to let this mysterious woman in she promptly accused him of stealing her heart and declared him under arrest, charged him with corruption for kissing her, and sentenced him to take a vacation.
• In one heist, Diabolik and Eva had to deal with two ferocious dogs. How did they put them to sleep? With a remote-controlled robotic cat. That Eva couldn't help but cuddle.
• The sheer absurdity of Diabolik's trouble in "Diabolik Is Innocent": Diabolik was impersonating the count Beltran when he was arrested for the count's wife's murder, but Diabolik knows the count is innocent, even if he can't prove it, because when the wife died the count was drugged up and sleeping in one of Diabolik's refuges.
  • It fell to Eva to prove the count's innocence and thus save Diabolik. How did she do it? After realizing the wife had killed herself and framed the husband, she enlisted Ginko's help. And Ginko, being Ginko, solved the case in about two hours from entering the place where the wife's body had been found (with most of the time spent waiting for the frogmen to find the evidence that confirmed his guess).
• Diabolik calling the police, and Ginko in particular, on a gang of smugglers that could have given him trouble in "The Route of the Diamonds". Even the boss of the smugglers had a good laugh when she realized why Ginko had suddenly appeared...
• Diabolik's sheer bad luck at the start of "Inside Diabolik's Hideout". He and Eva are on vacation, minding their own things while on their luxury motorboat, Diabolik decides to have some fun scuba diving and finds an old galleon containing a treasure... And then, in quick succession, the following happens: Diabolik is attacked by a giant octopus and gets wounded as he kills it; because of where they anchored their boat and being a man and a woman, Diabolik and Eva get mistaken by two drug dealers for their suppliers showing up early; worse, the police was lying in ambush, and while Diabolik was smart enough to throw overboard the masks he had with him the cops dived underwater to search for the drug they thought had been thrown overboard, forcing him to knock out the cop remained on their boat and run while the cops found both masks and galleon.
  • After the galleon is recovered, the treasure is to be exposed in a museum, Ginko is talking with the director... And, at the second question about the new alarms that were being installed, Ginko's men suddenly hold the director at gunpoint while the inspector pinches his nose to check for a mask. Sure, Ginko had a point, given how many times he had talked with a disguised Diabolik without knowing, but it's still ridiculous.
    • Later in the story, Ginko finds a body whose face had been altered to resemble that of the director. Cue Ginko jumping the director and trying to rip his face (in the meantime, Diabolik was using the ruse to bypass the checks and steal the treasure).
• In "Eva and Ginko", a Diabolik impersonator steals from Diabolik's own home. Diabolik was not amused. The readers were.
• In "Tragic Encounter", Diabolik taking offence at a luna park show that ends with him and Ginko killing each other because it showed Ginko getting caught from behind and surviving the knife long enough to shoot him, and steals his wife's jewels while 'signing' the heist in retaliation.
• In "The Crazy Robbery" one-shot character and former robber Davide Brenner needed to contact Diabolik. His solution: walk in front of a newspaper holding a sign saying "I need to talk with Diabolik" (Justified because Brenner was an extremely intelligent man but also crazy and delusional). It worked better than anticipated: he expected the journalists to take pictures, take his story and publish it, and what he got was that and Diabolik taking him to his car (he happened to be passing by when Brenner showed up with the sign).
• In "Commissioned Murder", Eva's half-amused half-exhasperated face when the woman of the gangster who had accidentally kidnapped her declared herself more beautiful than her.
• In "Deadly Scheme", Diabolik hid a body in the trunk of Ginko's car.
• In "Ginko's Ambush", Diabolik has just committed a difficult caper, and upon returning home he announces it. Eva replied by tricking him into believing she had read his success on her cards.
  • Later in the same story, Diabolik takes a room in a low-class motel and has Eva come there in spite of knowing she hates those places. She shows up disguised as the ugliest old lady she could put together in a pinch, knowing he hates such situations... And that Diabolik's fake identity would appear as having an ugly old woman as his lover.
• "The Police Are the Accomplices" is full of these:
  • The issue opens with two restaurant patrons finding out that someone with a tow truck stole their car while they were eating, in broad daylight. As soon as they're alone, their dialogue reveals it's Diabolik and Eva Kant. Who can't help but admit the thieves were good for stealing their car.
  • A prostitute tries and enters the police station. The guard tries and stops her... Then apologizes when he recognizes a superior in disguise.
  • Ginko acts on the disguised cop's information to catch a drug smuggler in the act. How does he explain his presence to the unsuspecting criminal, masquerading as the owner of an art gallery, before revealing the drugs? He says he and the cops were just passing by and decided to take a look because they were bored.
    • The drugs and the money to pay for it are hidden in two statues, but Ginko knows only in which one were the drugs and the trafficker proclaims his innocence. How does Ginko convinces him to confess and tell him where the money is?
    Ginko: "Well, if you're innocent and can't help us, I have no choice but break every single statue 'till I find the money."
    Trafficker: "No! There are masterpieces!"
  • After learning that the police confiscated a lot of money during the arrest, Diabolik decides to steal it. But the money is in the police safe, and only Ginko, who is immune to Truth Serum, knows how to open it. So, how does he do it? Easy: the subplot of the car theft led to him getting his hands on a skin-penetrating generosity gas (it wipes out all aggressivity and sense of ownership, making everyone generous and selfless) and its antidote. Hilarity Ensues:
    • Ginko is lured to the police safe, with the room filled with the gas... So Diabolik, after sneaking in, has Ginko open the safe and put the money in a bag. Eva, who is listening through the radio, is seen chuckling at the scene.
    • Diabolik is about to leave... Then the antidote wears off. Cue Diabolik trying to give back the money, with Ginko and the cops telling him to keep it. In the end they decide to burn it.
    • Having listened to everything, the very bemused Eva arrives after the gas has disperded and right before they can produce the matches:
    Eva: "I want the money... Give it to me!"
    Ginko: "With pleasure, this way we won't discuss about it anymore!"
    Diabolik: "But dear, what will we do with it?!"
    Eva: "Don't worry, I know it! Now come with me... We must go home. *to Ginko and the cops* You stay here!"
    Diabolik: "Well, goodbye!"
    Ginko: "Goodbye!""
    Random cop: "Ciao!"
    • Ginko's reaction when the gas wears off and he remembers what he did.
  • The rear cover, dedicated to one of the story's characters as usual page, shows Ginko... Still depressed for what he did in the episode.
• In "An Inconvenient Death" Diabolik has kidnapped and replaced Ginko for a heist when he's assigned to investigate three deaths, two lovers and the cuckholded husband of the female lover. Realizing they're all murders but the killer made it appear the husband killed them and committed suicide he starts explaining Ginko's squad the scene as the killed tried to make it appear... And then, much to his horror, one of the cops asks him if he's testing them and proceeds to explain the ruse, with Diabolik silently cursing Ginko for training his men so well the whole time.
• In "Death in the Fist", Diabolik recalls the time purposefully gets in a fight with an old boxing champion to convince him to recruit his disguise of the week-and describes the boxer's retaliation as "At that point, I was ran over by a freight train... Or something like that".
• "Challenge to the Police" opens with Ginko reading on the newspaper that a whole congress of criminologists is declaring him too much of a coward to counter Diabolik's tricks, and resigns in protest. Diabolik, of course, decides to humiliate Ginko's replacement Renato Evans and the criminologists:
  • Evans had launched his own challenge to Diabolik, publicily announcing he'd have face checks on everyone entering the police central so he would never give a cop-disguised Diabolik an important job. Diabolik steals the whole police archive without even entering the police central, and uses a microphone to broadcast Evans' reaction to speakers in the nearby streets. Even Altea found this one funny... And that's before Diabolik mails the whole archive back. Or that it's discovered that it was all a distraction so he could waltz in and copy some information he needed for a heist, and that he caused the confusion he needed by telling the cops at the gate that Diabolik was broadcasting Evans' reaction.
  • A week later, a foreign dignitary arrived in Clerville with his wife. Right before the farewell party, Diabolik and Eva replaced them and spent the whole party chatting with the authorities, including Evans. Even the dignitary was amused...
  • The government advanced technology research center had all precautions needed to keep even Diabolik out. He stole blueprints from it... By using a trained monkey. And of course he gave the blueprints back...
  • At the end, after Ginko foiled Diabolik's real heist, the Minister of Justice's whole reaction: refusing Ginko's resignation and accepting Evans', just as he expected he'd do the whole time.
• In one early story, the debt-filled wife of a bank director hired two tough men to kill her husband... Except the killers were two desperate men who had started rumors hoping to get some dirty job but not ready to commit murder, and as that story's titled "Two Killers for Diabolik" you can imagine who had replaced their target:
  • The two tough men started stalking their target, and at one point one says he would never notice them. Cue Gilligan Cut to Diabolik calling Eva and telling her to stalk his stalkers.
  • Before Eva could arrive, they had the chance and cut the brakes of their target's car. Then, at their home, they had a crisis of conscience, allowing Eva to find out, all of them tried to warn Diabolik to no avail, Eva runs to warn him, finds him with the car intact at the side of the road... And that's when Diabolik tells her the killers were so nervous they cut the fuel tube. Eva has trouble believe it... And Diabolik has trouble not laughing.
  • After they too arrive, and one getting knocked down by Diabolik's fist, the tough men tell the "bank director" everything... And ask him some money for not killing him. Diabolik replied that the advance money they got from the wife was more than enough.
  • The following day they read on the newspaper the wife has died in a domestic accident, realize what has happened, try to blackmail the "bank director"... And obviously fail.
  • Diabolik finally gets the money he had replaced the bank director for, leaves with the money in a bag... That of course gets snatched by those two.
  • The reaction of the two "killers" when Diabolik shows up and the horrific realization that they had been messing with the King of Terror finally happens.
    "Blow me down! We were trying to kill DIABOLIK!"*drinks some whiskey*
  • Realizing Diabolik is taking everything of that truckload of money, one of the "killers" protests on account they had not killed him and even helped him, his friend tells him to stop before Diabolik changes his mind and kills them, the first starts ranting... And the other replied that Diabolik left during the rant. And may or may have not forgotten part of the money.
• The story "Ginko Attacks!" and its movie adaptation have more than a few moments:
  • In the movie, the Emerald Ballet's announcer explaining how beautiful and sexy the dancers are... And then casually going to the fact they're wearing emerald jewels part of a collection that is incomplete due Diabolik stealing the crown and seeing them will make the women in the public happy as their husbands. Mind you, the jewels are supposed to be the main selling point of the ballet...
  • That very night Diabolik kidnaps the dancers and forces them to give him the jewels before letting them go. The scene cuts to a bar near a trafficated road, where an elderly truck driver and his younger colleague are bickering about the latter's supposed success with women... Then the elder looks out and swears he's drunk too much because he's hallucinating a group of scantily clad gorgeous women walking toward the bar's door. Then the entire Emerald Ballet walks in and ask if there's a phone.
  • Seeing the women, the younger one decides to show off how easily he can seduce women and hits on the main dancer. She rejects him, he doesn't get the message... And suddenly all the dancers pull guns on him and announce they're all expert judokas on top of that. She then goes to the phone and calls Ginko, of all people.
    • In the movie, the main dancer rebuffs him a few times, and when he puts a hand on him she pulls him into an arm lock while the others pull out the guns and hold everyone at gunpoint. Then she releases the wannabe womanizer, pulls out her gun, and asks where the phone is, plus a coin.
    • Also in the movie, the fact the lead dancer is visibly muscular while the womanizer is quite slim... And he still tried to manhandle her.
  • In the movie, Ginko's sergeant asking the inspector if he's gone insane when he's happy that Diabolik stole the jewels. That's when Ginko realizes he forgot to explain him it was a trap for Diabolik, all the jewels can be tracked, and the dancers are police women in disguise.
  • After going to their hideout, Diabolik and Eva are celebrating, with her wearing a bracelet stolen from the Emerald Ballet, and say that Ginko has no chance against them. That's when Ginko and his men blow up the main entrance.
  • Pretty much all scenes with Officer Roller:
    • When he's first seen he prepares to ambush Diabolik in his lab, where he has to go to get something to commit a heist and rebuild after the police seized all his hideouts. He brags that if Diabolik shows up during his shift as the ambusher he'll casually gun him down (even when Ginko's orders are to wait for him to look the other way, call for reinforcements, and then jump him). Then Diabolik shows up, casually disarms him as he lets a shot go off, and Roller bravely tries to punch him out. By the time the reinforcements arrive Diabolik has gotten what he needed and Roller is in a corner knocked out.
    • Sent back to normal patrol duties, Roller is in a car with a colleague when the radio announces Eva is in a nearby street. They cut Eva's escape off, with Eva still wondering how is the police chasing her so easily... Then Roller comes out to cuff her and Eva beats him up, takes him hostage, and forces his colleague to let her steal the car, with a dazed Roller being in the middle of the street and keeping the other cars from giving chase.
    • As Ginko's men berate him, Roller announces not everything has gone wrong... Because he managed to snatch the bracelet Eva was wearing. Smash Cut to Ginko demanding the moron is fired, with Roller's direct superior instead convincing him to give Roller another chance - and Ginko sends him to the first raided hideout to help cataloguing the loot.
    • Roller's embarrassment when he's assigned to help the police woman Elena Vanel (the one who in the film discovered Eva was still wearing one of the bracelets), who promptly hits on him as she did when they were at the police academy together.
    • Eva has apparently betrayed Diabolik after he abandoned her, and helped Ginko organizing an ambush by having an armored van filled with cops but appearing to carry the loot leave the first raided hideout and go through a gallery where Diabolik has an old trap lying in wait while the loot is in an unmarked and unescorted minivan going in another direction driven by a brave volunteer, namely Roller... Who’s actually a disguised Diabolik. Meaning the overly serious Diabolik was acting like an idiot for sake of the heist, and his embarassment with Elena was actually him freaking out after stumbling on someone who knows Roller well and trying not to be discovered. And the last part went far too well: Elena noticed her crush was acting weird and hid on the car to help in case Diabolik attacked the minivan, and as soon as she saw him take off the mask she came out and shot him in the back.
  • In the movie, shortly before Ginko barged in their hideout Eva had told Diabolik they needed a vacation, and he refused because "Diabolik doesn't go on vacation". After they've escaped Elena Vanel, Diabolik suggests they go on vacation.
• "A Bullet for Diabolik" starts with a heist going bad with Diabolik, who gets shot with a tracking bullet and consequently Ginko raids two of his hideouts... And at the second he arrives just as Diabolik and Eva are about to make out after she extracted the bullet.
  • Diabolik is uncharacteristically pissed after the debacle, especially at Bauer, the shop owner who shot him with the tracker, who he calls scum, and makes a point of recovering what he had stolen from him. It's implied he's angry because of Ginko's timing when he raided the second hideout.
• At the start of "The Sign of the Assassin" Ginko takes a much needed vacation, leaving instructions to interrupt it only if Diabolik strikes, but the Minister of Justice has him dragged out of vacation to investigate a serial killer... Except it later turns out that Diabolik took advantage of Ginko's vacation to disguise himself as him and find the jewels stolen by the serial killer. The story of course ends with the police interrupting Ginko's vacation to tell him what Diabolik just pulled.