- When the headmistress yells at her students' parents for showing too much hair, Marjane's father says "If hair is as arousing as you say, then maybe you should shave your moustache." Complete with a "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer.
- When Marjane gets groped by a diner at the restaurant she briefly works at, the chef responds by hocking a loogie in his wiener-schnitzel.
- Marjane is ordered by the police to stop running to catch a bus, because her running makes her rear look "obscene". An irate Marjane suggests he remedy the issue with "WELL THEN DON'T LOOK AT MY ASS!" She notes that this shocked the police so much that they didn't even arrest her.
- This exchange, after the government shuts down all the universities:
Taji: You'll see. Soon they'll actually force us to wear the veil...and you, you'll have to trade in your Cadillac for a camel. God, what a backward policy!Ebi: A camel?
- God and Karl Marx's exchange during Marjane's suicide attempt.
- Marjane BS-ing her way out of getting punished by two older women who yell at her "Punk Is Not Ded" jacket with a story about how poor her family is and how she's regularly beaten by her parents until they just get sick of her and leave. Even Marjane suspects they know she's lying. In the film, they just seemed to go, "eh, not worth it."
- The "Eye of the Tiger" sequence, screaming at the hair on her leg... then screaming when she removes it.
- When Marjane asks her German classmates what the German word is for "ruler," they prank her by giving her the word for "dick" instead just so she can go up to a guy and ask to "borrow [his] dick."
- Marjane's reaction to a nun passively remarking that all Iranians are lazy.
"Is it also true that all nuns used to be prostitutes."
- Marjane goes through puberty in 40 seconds. Especially funny in the movie, which milks the medium of cartoon animation for all it's worth.
- A Kuwaiti immigrant driving past Marjane mistakes her for a prostitute, asking "How much? How much?" She throws her Coke in his face and shouts "Fuck you! Son of a bitch!!"