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Funny: Scott Pilgrim
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     The Books 
  • Any time Wallace gets drunk and starts yelling.
  • The entire scene in Honest Ed's. It has to be seen to be believed. Also:
    Todd: The De-Veganization ray! I can dodge this!
    But he couldn't.
  • "Hey Scotty, check out my ring!"
    • "Ssscottttt~"
  • Wallace during The Ramona/Envy fight, driving Envy to distraction in the most hilarious ways.
    "Get her Ramona! Get her right in her horsey face!"
    • And later...
      Envy: Stop hiding behind your precious Wallace!
      Ramona: What makes you think I'm hiding behind him?
      [Wallace is actually standing right in front of Ramona, apparently oblivious to this fact]
      Wallace: Oh, sorry. Am I in the way?
  • What happened after Todd punched Ramona a hole in the moon? ''About thirty pages of tidal waves and explosions."
  • Wallace relentlessly taunting Crash and the Boys which starts with this....
    Crash: I'm Crash, and these are the Boys!
    Wallace: Is that girl a boy, too?
    Crash: Yes!
    (Trasha flips Wallace off.)
    • And ends with this....
    Crash:This is for the guy who keeps shouting at us from the balcony. It's called "We Hate You, Please Die."
    Wallace: Cool, a song for me!
  • "If I peed on myself would you guys say it was the rain?"
  • "Watch out, Scott! I think that might be Gideon!"
  • Joseph's introduction:
    Holly: So how hot is the bass player, Joseph?
    Joseph: He is as hot as the flames of the hell you bitches are going to.
  • Gideon Gordon Graves. Profession: Asshole
    • Not to mention the running gags of: Gideon Graves, what a dick.
      • Gideon stole the Power of Love! What a dick!
      • After Gideon stabs Ramona What a dick.
  • This:
    Scott: Well, at least I... something... you... insult...
    Ramona: That's not a good comeback, Scott.
    Stephen: Actually, that's pretty good for Scott.
  • How Scott figures out that the fourth evil ex is female? A chick hatches in his brain!
    • Which he follows up by shouting at Ramona "YOU HAD A SEXY PHASE!?"
  • Scott calling Young Neil just "Neil" prompts a caption: "The greatest day of his life."
  • Scott and Gideon's memory cam in volume 6.
    (We see chibi versions of characters running through a field)
    Knives: scotty ur so hot & sexxy
    Scott: o hey thanx
    (Later...)
    Envy: omigod ur like, such a stud
    Scott: yeah totes
    (Then with Gideon)
    Ramona: babby u lite my fire
    Gideon: r u obsessed or what lol
  • From Volume 4:
    Wallace: Man, you know, I'm really glad everything worked out for you.
    Scott: Me too.
    Wallace: ...Because I signed a lease on a place with Mobile like a week and a half ago and you would have been seriously screwed if you wanted to stay!
    <Both Scott & Wallace begin to laugh uproariosly. Scott suddenly stops.>
    Scott: You bastard.
    Wallace: Yeah, so, give me a call sometime, buddy!
  • Scott Pilgrim: Sketchy-ass 24-year-old.
    Scott: (to Knives) Do you want to have sex? I think we should have sex. CASUAL SEX.
    • And the ensuing make-out session after she rejects him:
    IT WAS HORRIBLE. FOR EVERYONE. AND THAT INCLUDES YOU.
    • And the brillant part is, that's exactly correct. Which just makes it funnier.
  • Scott's whole backstory on his last job.
  • Scott Pilgrim: The greatest Prep Chef in Toronto...accidentally botching an order.
    Stephen Stills: ... Whatever. They ordered dinner at 10:55, they're getting a salad.
    • Followed shortly by the this exchange:
      Scott: (To Stephen Stills) So Julie turned you gay?
      Joseph: Seriously, get better [friends].
  • Volume 1 has this little gem:
    Scott: Hey, Amazon.ca, that's the online bookstore or whatever, right?
    Wallace: Yep.
    Scott: What's the website for that?
    <Wallace is stunned silent.>
    Wallace: ...Amazon.ca.
    Scott: Cool! Thanks!
  • Volume 3 has Scott and Todd entering into a stare down while everyone else talks about stuff. Then, for no reason, Scott flips his shit all over Todd.
    Scott: THAT IS IT! YOU COCKY COCK! YOU'LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!
  • Stephen begging Hollie's gay roommate Joseph to make an album for Sex Bob-omb in volume 4.
    Stephen: Joseph!!! Can you record our album? Sex Bob-omb needs to record an album! We need to take it to the next level! You saw us play in volume 3, right? We aren't all that sucky, right???
    Joseph: ...Okay, I'll do it. But only because I find you attractive.
    Stephen: I can live with that!!!
  • "LET'S BOTH BE GIRLS!"
  • Scott levels up towards the end of the fight with Gideon - "Balls +2"
  • When Stephen Stills asks what's so terrifying about Honest Ed's, Julie answers,
    Julie: ...You know how when a baby is first born it just cries at the sheer horror of being alive?"
    • Hell, that entire sequence counts. Just their agonised reactions from just being in there is hilarious. And to top it off:
    And then Honest Ed's imploded.
  • CLOSURE!
  • This awesome bit from Volume 3.
    Kim: "Actually, boys, I'm busy. I've got a hot date tonight."
    Scott: "A hot date with a collage you're doing?"
    Stephen Stills: "A hot date with a 2000-piece puzzle depicting the Bluenose II?"
    Kim: "Okay, did it ever occur to you that I might actually have a date?"
    Hilariously awkward pause
    Scott: "Kim, you're a hell of a catch."
    Stephen Stills: "You're a damn fine woman, Kim. Damn fine."
    Kim: "Whatever, let's just play the setlist again, assholes..."
  • Scott, while a drunken Kim professes her love for equally drunk Ramona: "Make out!"
  • And there's this Shout-Out:
    Knives: But look at your face! I totally grazed you!
    Ramona: How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
  • This funny bit from Volume 3:
    Wallace Wells: Ramona, I love you. I'll love you forever. And I have dipping sauce for you! I'll be your dipping sauce bitch!!
  • "Guess who's drunk!"
    Scott: I guess Wallace.
    Wallace: You guess right.
  • "Those are Mr. Silly's shoes."
  • The end of Volume 4 features a parody of a page showing American readers how to read manga, and advises readers to not let "The Man" tell them how to read the comic.
  • I BUILT A SWORD INTO ENVY'S DRESS! THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF GUY I AM!
  • Knives pulling a Dynamic Entry against Envy, only to crash into a wall afterwards due to her momentum.
  • Stephen Stills (22 years old) wants a damn buritto, damn it.
  • Scott saves Ramona and Knives from being flattened by Envy by poking the back of Envy's leg, causing Envy to fall over into a ball with a look of absolute bliss on her face.
    Scott: So yeah, like I was saying last night, her weak point's on the back of her knees.
    Ramona: What? How does that work?
    Scott: Um... Well, whenever we were making out, I would-
    Ramona: Okay, stop right there.
  • "WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB!!! We are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!!!
    Stephen Stills man in black
    Kim Pine gothic lolita
    Scott Pilgrim guy in a suit purchased at value village
    Ramona & Knives: "What the hell are they wearing?"
  • Gideon's dramatic entrance:
    Gideon: Scott Pilgrim. Can I just be the first to say... "Nice shirt."?
    Scott: (looks at his shirt) What? (back to Gideon) Shut up! You're like the third person to say that! (After Tamara and Stacey)
  • "Last Song Kills Audience".
  • It's a minor background gag, but the way Gideon's exes react to having been cryogenically frozen for years with mild annoyance at best:
    Irene: (talking on cellphone by the bar) I've been in a tube since 2003, mom, okay?

     The Movie 

  • "We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!"
  • A hilarious case of foreshadowing: Todd Ingram is seen wearing a Punisher t-shirt during a Clash at Demonhead performance. After Scott outwits Todd into his third vegan violation, the latter is punished by the vegan police. Todd's telekinetic power is removed by none other than The Punisher himself, Thomas Jane!
    "It's milk and eggs, bitch!"
  • The vegan police.
    • "Chicken isn't vegan ?"
      • Tied together with the look on Todd Ingram's face, which displays that he was legitimately surprised to find out that chicken isn't vegan.
    • YEAH! Slow-motion jumping high-five!
  • Wallace is able to call Stacey about developments in Scott's love life at any time even while unconscious!
    Scott: ...How does he do that?
    • Basically anything Wallace does. In particular: the increasing number of bedmates, the frequent lack of pants, and appearing out of nowhere with Lucas Lee's skateboard.
      Wallace: (kicking the door open) GUESS WHO'S DRUNK~!
      Scott: ...I guess: Wallace.
      Wallace: You guessed right!
      • In fact, the key-toss moment is even funnier in the bloopers, because right after Scott messes up the line, Wallace replies with "Dude, you took a blow to the head for nothing!"
      • One in particular is what he says to Ramona when she is fighting Roxy.
        Wallace: Kick her in the balls!
    • Wallace's reaction in that scene in general is hilarious. Everyone, especially Scott, is confused and freaked out by the two girls engaging in video game-esque fighting. Wallace, meanwhile, is calm as you please and having a drink while watching the whole thing.
  • Apparently, it took Michael Cera 33 shots to get the package Scott orders just to see Ramona into the trash. This is confirmed in the blooper reel, and is pretty damn entertaining to watch.
    • During one of those bad throws, Mary Elizabeth Winston drops the pen she's holding. Michael Cera comments "Imagine if that went in and you dropped the pen."
  • When everyone starts meeting each other in the Rockit, after Knives kisses Scott and Ramona's right there, everyone starts giving each other dramatic glances, complete with dramatic zooms. Knives gives one to Ramona; Stacey gives one to Scott...and Wallace gives one to his newest crush, Jimmy.
    • And the latter cut to the two of them making out. While an arrow-shot heart is drawn around them.
      Stacey: Wallace! Again?!
  • Speaking of The Rockit... "Fun Fact: This Place is a Toilet"
  • After defeating Gideon, Scott is faced down by a dark version of himself, Nega Scott. We cut to Knives and Ramona waiting outside the club as the door opens.... and Scott and Nega Scott both walk out, laughing like old friends.
    • "Ah, we just shot the shit. He's just a really nice guy. We're meeting for brunch next week. We actually have a lot in common."
  • Scott jumping through a glass window, then reaching back in for his coat, then running off in order to escape from Knives when she showed up at his door and asked Wallace if Scott was home. All of which in full view of the door she's standing at, while Wallace is the picture of calm in telling her he's not around.
    • There is always something funny about jumping through a window for non action movie related purposes.
    • Not only that, but when the camera shifts to Knives asking "Really?" when she's told that Scott just left, you can see him running away behind her. And she's totally oblivious to this all.
    • If you watch the scene closely, Wallace shifts around in the doorway exactly enough to (conceivably) shield Scott's actions from Knives actually being able to see him in the background. This without looking behind him or even acknowledging that anything unusual is happening.
  • Inspiring pump-up music is playing as we see Scott prepare to go after Gideon, with fast smash-cuts to him standing up, fixing his wrist bands, making fists... and the music suddenly stops as he takes a minute to fully tie his shoes. The theater exploded with laughter.
  • When Ramona asks Scott how he knows Knives, Scott's brain is shown as being unable to choose between answering "I Gotta Pee" and "Who, Her?" He ends up blurting out "I gotta pee on her."
    • On that note, the Freeze-Frame Bonus on the wheel of responses: They include: "She's nobody", "She's forty!", "Idiot!", "No speaka English", "When's dinner?", "Uh...", "Tell Pac Man story", "No, you are", "Pass out" and "It was nothing".
  • K.O.!!! (both times)
  • Knives's literal ":O" face.
  • Knives' fangirlism over Envy, reaching its peak with her happily exclaiming "I've kissed lips that kissed yours!"
    • Knives' fangirlism over Sex Bob-omb in general is hysterical (mainly because she's the only fan).
  • The shout-out to Launchpad McQuack.
  • "We are Sex Bob-omb and we are here to make money and sell out and stuff," delivered in perfect deadpan from Kim at the Chaos Theatre, while rubbing the corner of her nose with her middle finger.
    • Followed up with Kim shouting "WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB, AND WE'RE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN!" when Scott tries again after using his extra life.
  • A subtle one: The hole in the moon, complete with an 8-bit explosion sound effect.
    • The real humor in the hole in the moon is the freeze frame bonus, during the panel in which it explodes, it looks exactly like the Death Star while it's firing. Made funnier by the fact that it comes from a Darth Vader expy.
  • After Gideon's been defeated, he starts ranting about forming the league and acting as if it was some great task, before saying "Do you know how long it took me to get the contact information of all the other exes? Do you?! Like TWO HOURS!"
    • TWO. HOURS!
  • Roxy is generally one of the funniest parts of the movie, spewing lines such as this:
    Roxy: Your BF's about to get F'd in the B!
    • It's even funnier if you happen to be a fan of Avatar the Last Airbender. Hearing sweet Katara say all of those things is just HYSTERICAL.
      • Or, alternatively, for fans of Arrested Development, seeing an actress whose character was (in-universe) noted primarily for being bland overacting so ludicrously.
    • "I'M A LITTLE BI-FURIOUS!"
    • "YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE BOOB!"
  • "PREPARE TO DIE, OBVIOUSLY!"
  • When Scott is trying to "get to second and a half base" with Ramona and makes her dinner.
    Ramona: This garlic bread is really good.
    Scott: Garlic bread is my favorite food, I could literately eat it for like, every meal. Or you know, eat it all the time without ever stopping. *laughs*
    Ramona: Then you'd get fat.
    Scott: Now why would I get fat?
    Ramona: Bread makes you fat.
    Scott: (with a mouth full of garlic bread) Bread makes you fat?!
    • 30 MINUTES LATER
  • Scott showing a sketch of Ramona.
    Scott: Do you know a girl with a hair like this? (A doodle of a face, with a single circle, some lines for hair and no facial expression. In black and white.)
    Comeau: (with complete, absolute confidence) Yes, that's Ramona Flowers.
  • Referring to Wallace, after he told Scott's sister Stacey that he was dating a 17 year old:
    Scott: That gossipy bitch.
    Wallace: You know me.
    • Even better is Wallace telling Stacey that Scott's thinking about dating two girls at the same time. Wallace is unconscious when he does this.
  • "You made me swallow my gum. It's going to be in my digestive tract FOR SEVEN YEARS!!!!!!"
  • Scott to Julie at the Second Cup: "How are you doing that with your mouth?"
    • "Never [censor] mind how I'm doing it!"
  • Scott and Gideon's dialogue about why Scott wants to fight for Ramona on his first attempt.
    Gideon: You want to fight me... For her?
    Scott: (defiantly) Was that not clear?!
    Scott turns to look at Sex Bob-Omb
    Scott: (inquisitively) ...Was that not clear?
    Stephen Stills & Young Neil: I dunno.
  • Anyone to Scott: "Your hair's getting long/shaggy/etc." Cut to Scott suddenly wearing his dorky hat without having moved from the previous shot.
  • "You once were a ve-gone, but now, you will BE GONE!" "...ve-gone?"
  • "I'm in lesbians with you." "...What?"
  • "Your hair looks stupid."
    • Before that, first time around:
      Doorman: What's the password?
      Scott: Whatever!
      Doorman: (beat) 'Kay.
  • Scott goes to the second door:
    Second Doorman: What's the second password?
    Scott: Ugh!
    • They let him in.
  • Sex Bob-Omb is at the bar after their lackluster opening to Clash at Demonhead's concert
    Stephen Stills: (to Ramona) Be honest. Do we suck?
    Ramona: I dunno. Do you? I'll be right back.
    Ramona leaves for the restroom. Sex Bob-Omb watches her leave.
    Stephen Stills: (deadly serious) She has to go...she knows we suck.
  • Neil singing along quietly to Garbage Truck (and getting the lyrics wrong).
  • Lucas Lee looking at a text message he got and saying "That's actually hilarious!" to himself.
  • Matthew Patel's completely out of nowhere Bollywood Villain Song.
  • The deleted scene in which Matthew Patel introduces himself twice with the exact same rehearsed precision, movements and speech pattern.
  • Censoring the film to make the language more "tv-safe" replaces many of the cursing into humorously random euphemisms including Oscar the Grouch, peaches, and owls.
  • When Scott gets Matthew Patel's e-mail about their upcoming fight, the movie plays it up for as much drama as possible, with Scott going "this is... this is... this is...!" and the soundtrack dramatically booms as it displays the words "fight" "to" "the" "death"... and then the drama abruptly drains away as Scott continues "this is boooooooring. Dele-eeete."
    Patel: Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation?
    Scott: ...I skimmed it.
  • Stephen wetting himself when Gideon wants to sign for their band, and then it points it out on-screen.
  • Envy telling Julie to "Shut the [bleep] up"
  • Todd punches Knives so hard that it knocks the highlights out of her hair.
    • Young Neil is devastated!
    • "You punched the highlights out of her hair...He punched the highlights out of her hair!"
  • As Sex Bob-Omb heads to the party in the opening scenes:
    Scott: Oh man, this is gonna suck!
    Scott: Oh man (wipe to party without breaking Scott's sentence), this suuuuucks!
    Young Neil: Suuuuucks!
    Scott: I'm gonna go pee due to boredom. (leaves)
    Young Neil: (beat) I have to pee.
  • AND THEN. HE STALKED HER. UNTIL. SHE LEFT. THE PARTY.
  • Stephen freaking out never gets old. Ever.
    • What makes that scene are the subtitles that appear concurrent with Stephen shouting and freaking out.
  • The captions while they hang out with Todd and Envy.
    Envy: You're incorrigible.
    Todd: I don't even know the meaning of the word.
  • Brandon Routh's pitch perfect delivery of Todd's Don't Explain the Joke moment, especially:
    Scott: I dislike you, capeich.
    Todd: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
    Scott: Wut?
    Todd: Because you'll be dusk by Monday?
    Scott: Uh...
    Todd: Becuase you'll be pulverized in 2 seconds. And the cleaning lady...she cleans up dust. She dusts. (makes dusting motions)
beat
Scott: So um, what's on Monday?
Todd Well, it's Friday now, and she has the weekneds off so...Monday, right?
  • Kim's apparent rivalry with Clash and the Boys' drummer who is a little girl.
  • "You will no longer be referred to as Young Neil. Now you will be known as Neil."
  • Scott going from reading his e-mail to sitting in front of his door waiting for the package he ordered (to be delivered by Ramona) to arrive.
  • Scott assuring Ramona that his break-up with Knives was clean.
    Scott: She's mature for her age. We're peaches and gravy.
    Knives: (echoing) Noooo...
  • Scott seems to enjoy being with Knives but you get a look into his mind (a desertscape) and he's lamenting "So alone..."
    • Ramona's reaction when she breezes through the desert scape: "You're not alone. You're just having some idiotic dream."
  • Wallace's snarking with Crash and the Boys.
    Crash: Hello, my name's Crash, and these are the boys.
    Wallace: Is that girl a boy too?
    Crash: Yes.
    The drummer flips him off.
    Kim: They have a girl drummer?!
    Crash: This is called "I'm So Sad, I'm So Very Very Sad". (plays one note) (lyrics: "so sad") Thank you.
    Wallace: It's not a race, guys!
    Crash: Okay, this song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony, and it's called 'We Hate You, Please Die.'
    Wallace: Sweet! Love this one.
  • "The weak point is the back of her knees. Whenever we were making out I would just - "
  • When Stephen Stills realizes that they lost their contract and starts scooping up the change dropped by Gideon's death. Made even funnier when Neil looks like he's going to do the same thing, but really just takes Gideon's gum.
  • "What a perfect asshole."
  • The beginning of "Threshold" has Scott saying "This is the beginning of the song."
  • When Scott receives Matthew Patel's e-mail:
    Computer voice: You have mail.
    Scott: Dude, this thing claims I have mail!
  • "Lady-dudes!"
  • Knives confronting Ramona at the Rockit. Wearing leather clothes, half her hair dyed blue... and wearing a school backpack.
    Ramona: (seriously nonplussed) What the hell.
  • Lucas Lee walking triumphantly out of his trailer in slow-motion...TO THE TUNE OF THE UNIVERSAL PICTURES INTRO THEME.
    • He even cracks his neck in time to the music.

     The Game 

  • The bass battle with Todd doesn't happen. You just hit him with the guitar instead.
  • Any time you pick up another player and use them as a weapon.
  • From Nega Scott's Ending...
    "Everything was ruined. It was so great!"
    • Also, after destroying the world and enslaving all the other characters, NS decides to...go home and take a nap. After all, it's been a long day.
  • From Knives' Ending...
    "Knives jumped into Scott's arms and kissed him! Suddenly, confetti fell from the sky... It was their wedding day! Knives looked lovely in her gown. All of Scott's friends were there to see... Scott was very confused.
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alternative title(s): Scott Pilgrim Vs The World
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