Funny: Judge Dredd

The Comic

  • Finger Of Suspicion. One man with his hand permanently stuck Flipping the Bird attempting to go about his daily business. Cue being attacked by several judges and street gangs, culminating in him being (non-fatally) shot by Dredd.
  • From "The Day The Law Died,"
    Walter The Wobot: That cweep Judge Dwedd has just been here, shooting guns and waising hell.
    Control: You're mistaken, robot. There's no Judge Dwedd on the force.
    Walter The Wobot: Not Judge Dwedd. Walter say Judge Dwedd.
  • From an early story:
    Dredd: What do you want written on your tombstone, punks?
    Criminal: "Died of old age", Judge, we surrender!
  • The reveal of Judge Fish in "The Day the Law Died", but especially the other judges objections: "he lacks mobility", indeed!
  • Later, a pair of Judges let Dredd escape because they've realized that Judge Cal is insane. The Judge in charge of their punishment knows they're right, but is afraid of Cal's reaction. So he orders them to wear women's clothing and claims Judge Fish assigned the punishment. The best part is that Cal buys it.
  • Public Defender 314's habit of calling its actions. Pause For Emphasis.
  • Mean Machine Angel as a Private Investigator in the Alternity special. The Unreliable Private Eye Monologue which details his "cases" (which are essentially just Bar Brawls that blunderingly end up pissing off The Mafia) is just downright hilarious.
  • During The Apocalypse War, Mega City one launches twenty five TADs at East Meg One. For reference, each TAD is capable of destroying a Mega City twice over. The East Meggers activate "The Apocalypse Warp", a shield that transports missiles into an Alternate Reality. The reality the nukes arrive in is a New-Age Retro Hippie earth where peace has reigned for two hundred years. The hippies all look up, noting how pretty the nukes look, before the earth is literally shattered.
  • A brilliant scene from "Dead Funny":
    Enter the law...
    * Dredd kicks down door*
    Exit the law...
    * a guy gets tossed into Dredd, knocking him back*
    Re-enter the law...
    * Dredd barges back in*
    Dredd: Control, we have a gunfight at the chapel of Grud! Funeral in progress—
    * Dredd starts BDAMing all the funeral guests*
    Dredd: --more to follow!
  • Judge Rico (the second one) gets a delightyfully witty snipe at the corrupt Judge Sinfield when he reassigns Rico to Dredd's mutant towns out of a vindictive grudge for Rico rightfully failing Sinfield's rookie clone.
    Rico: Before I go, just tell me one thing... one little thing...
    Sinfield: What?
    Rico: What in Hell's name persuaded them to clone you!?
    Sinfield: Get out! Get out of this office!
  • "The Cursed Earth" featured a Rushmore Refacement where the leader of the Mutant Brotherhood added his face to the five presidents already present. The fifth president you ask? Jimmy Carter.
  • "The League of Fatties" sees a group of Fatties go on a protest march. It promptly runs into trouble:
    "The fact that the march route was twenty-five kilometers long can only be put down to bad planning."
  • Judge Cal sentencing the entire city to death from his bathtub.
  • Gestapo Bob, leader of the Cosmic Punks, wears a helmet adorned with the phrase "There's no Justus, there's just us."
  • When PJ Maybe instructs Inga on how to impersonate Judge Hershey's public persona, the way she manages to turn the sentence "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" into a convoluted political speech is quite hilarious.
    "The dog was lazy, and while laziness in itself is not a crime, it certainly constituted an enticement to the fox, which unsurprisingly jumped over it. Several reliable accounts attest that the fox was not only brown, but extremely quick."
  • A funny little moment in an otherwise grim story happens in "America 2: Fading Of The Light". The Oscars are still around, but are now nicknamed the Arnies.
  • Justice Department hires a flamboyant director to do a biography on Judge Dredd for public relations. He goes way overboard with Hollywood Style in both the pitch and execution, including such highlights as the Younger and Hipper Dredd stopping in the middle of his confrontation with Rico to have sex with a Fanservice Extra, and Dredd's entire Rogues Gallery suddenly showing up to do a dance number.
  • In an early story, shortly after Dredd returns from Luna-1 he starts a casual walk down the street where he gently reminds a group of armed robbers that their actions are illegal and tells another man that he can't do anything about the bar brawl but that the Justice Department will help all while smiling pleasantly. Then he gets given his reinstatement papers and within five minutes turns into the grumpy, aggressive Dredd we know and love.

The Film

  • "Eat recycled food. It's good for the environment and okay for you."
  • Judge Hershey: "JUDGE BITCH!"
    • Just generally the entire scene where Dredd and Rico decide to settle things ham to ham.
  • Fergie's impression of Dredd: "Mr. UH-EM-DE-LUW!"
  • Fergie's panic when he realises the Angel Family are going to eat him.
    "Eat Dredd! He works out!"
  • A meta example occurred when the film was adapted into a serialised strip in the News Of The World with veteran 2000 AD artist Ron Smith drawing it. Originally, it was intended to have Dredd drawn as Sylvester Stallone in order to stay faithful to the film until Stallone's agent told Smith that he'd have to pay Stallone to use his likeness. Smith's response was to draw Dredd to resemble Arnold Schwarzenegger instead.