- At the beginning of Iznogoud's Birthday, Iznogoud is looking for a mysterious individual who just screamed about his ambition to be the Caliph. Cue this dialogue with a random guard:
- Iznogoud: Was that you who were screaming?Iznogoud: But... you just answered me!Guard (surprised): Did I? But.... then... (Beat) I AM CURED! YIPEEEEEEEEEE!Iznogoud: O, damn it, not with the crazies again!
- This from Iznogoud Finally Caliph:
- From Who Killed the Caliph:
Iznogoud: And do you remember what your master want to be?Dilat: Caliph instead of the Caliph, yes I know...Iznogoud': Good! Now get out of my sight! (Beat) Wait! Just to make up for it, do you happen to have an idea?Dilat: About what, boss?Iznogoud: (to the reader): Tell me he is kidding. (to Dilat) AN IDEA TO WIN THE LOTTERY, YOU DUMBASS!Dilat: Oh, then I do have an idea, boss! All we have to do is not playing!Iznogoud: AN IDEA TO BE CALIPH INSTEAD OF THE CALIPH!Dilat: Well... we already know what we must not do: all we have to do is read all your previous books.
Iznogoud: Dilat! Sooner, you said we could have an opportunity today with the day of great conquest. What were you thinking about?Dilat: Nothing, boss.Iznogoud: Nothing?!Dilat: I do not know what an opportunity is, I said than randomly.Iznogoud: ... It means a possibility.Dilat: Still nothing, boss.Iznogoud: An eventuality.Dilat: Nope, boss.Iznogoud: IT MEANS THAT WHEN YOU HAVE A COMPLETELY DUMBASS RIGHT HAND-MAN, YOU SHOULD IMMEDIATLY REPLACE HIM WITH... (Beat) replace! Of course! Dilat, remind me to reward you for your brillant idea!Dilat: But... I didn't have any idea, boss!Iznogoud: Mhm... True. Then REMIND ME TO PUNISH YOU FOR NOT HAVING ANY IDEA! And DON'T forget to remind me!
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