* At the beginning of ''Iznogoud's Birthday'', Iznogoud is looking for a mysterious individual who just screamed about his ambition to be the Caliph. Cue this dialogue with a random guard:
-->'''Iznogoud''': Was that you who were screaming?
-->'''Guard''': [[BlatantLies I can't, Great Vizir; I am deaf and mute.]]
-->'''Iznogoud''': But... you just answered me!
-->'''Guard''' (surprised): Did I? But.... then... ({{Beat}}) I AM CURED! YIPEEEEEEEEEE!
-->'''Iznogoud''': O, damn it, not with the crazies again!
* This from ''Iznogoud Finally Caliph'':
-->'''Archivist''': Hello, Grand Vizier; my name is Vhist, and I am...
-->'''Iznogoud''': [[LampshadeHanging I bet your firstname is Archie]]!
-->'''Archivist''': ... Indeed. How did you guess?
-->'''Iznogoud''': [[GenreSavvy I'm used to dumb puns]]
-->'''Archivist''': Vhist Archie? Nah, I don't see... well anyway, I am the Archiv... ''({{beat}}. [[LateToThePunchline The Archivist suddenly bursts in laughter]])'' Ah ah ah! [[StevenUlyssesPerhero Archie Vhist!]] Hilarious! I have been Archivist for seventy years, and I never noticed!
* From ''Who Killed the Caliph'':
-->'''Iznogoud''': And do you remember what your master wants to be?
-->'''Dilat''': Caliph instead of the Caliph, yes I know...
-->''Iznogoud''': Good! Now get out of my sight! ({{Beat}}) Wait! Just to make up for it, do you happen to have an idea?
-->'''Dilat''': About what, boss?
-->'''Iznogoud''': ([[BreakingTheFourthWall to the reader]]): Tell me he is kidding. (to Dilat) AN IDEA TO WIN THE LOTTERY, YOU DUMBASS!
-->'''Dilat''': [[SarcasmBlind Oh, then I do have an idea, boss!]] All we have to do is not play!
-->'''Iznogoud''': AN IDEA TO BE CALIPH INSTEAD OF THE CALIPH!
-->'''Dilat''': Well... we already know what we must not do: all we have to do is read all your previous books.
** Later:
-->'''Iznogoud''': Dilat! Sooner, you said we could have an opportunity today with the day of great conquest. What were you thinking about?
-->'''Dilat''': Nothing, boss.
-->'''Iznogoud''': Nothing?!
-->'''Dilat''': I do not know what an opportunity is, I said that randomly.
-->'''Iznogoud''': ... It means a possibility.
-->'''Dilat''': Still nothing, boss.
-->'''Iznogoud''': An eventuality.
-->'''Dilat''': Nope, boss.
-->'''Iznogoud''': IT MEANS THAT WHEN YOU HAVE A COMPLETELY DUMBASS RIGHT HAND-MAN, YOU SHOULD IMMEDIATLY REPLACE HIM WITH... ({{Beat}}) ''replace''! Of course! Dilat, remind me to reward you for your brillant idea!
-->'''Dilat''': But... I didn't have any idea, boss!
-->'''Iznogoud''': Mhm... True. Then REMIND ME TO PUNISH YOU FOR NOT HAVING ANY IDEA! And DON'T forget to remind me!
* In ''Iznogoud Rockets to Stardom'', the Caliph is excited at the idea of going to the sky but refuses to go to the marketplace because he's "not going that far".
-->'''Iznogoud: [=YOU DON'T MIND GOING TO THE MOON, BUT YOU WON'T WALK AS FAR AS BAGHDAD MARKETPLACE=]??'''
-->'''Caliph''': That's right. I wouldn't be walking to the moon.