Funny / Garfield: His 9 Lives

Prologue

• During the "Creation of Cat" sequence:
  God: GIVE CAT SIX EYES.
  Brief drawing of a Garfield with three sets of eyes stacked on top of one another
  Assistant: But we only have... two eyes left.
  God: TWO EYES! I like that.

#1: Cave Cat

• The first lifeforms crawling up on land after Cave Cat.
  Narrator: In those days, the first everything was crawling out of the ocean; the first snake! [a snake, still with legs, crawls out of the ocean] The first chicken! [a chicken with sharklike teeth in its beak crawls out of the ocean] Crab grass! [a sentient clump of crab grass rolls out of the ocean] The first real estate salesman! [a salesman in full business suit walks out of the ocean, dumps the water out of his briefcase and straightens his tie with a smug smile]
• Prehistoric Garfield bumps into a caveman's leg, and the caveman yells "Cat!" The narrator says that cat was caveman talk for "Darn it!"
• Cave Cat inventing meowing.
  Cave Cat: [is walking around one day when a volcano goes "FOOM" in the distance] Foom? Foom! ...nah. Hmmm. "Meow"? Meow!!
• How Garfield lost his first life: a gargantuan dinosaurian Odie called "Big Bob" tore apart the largest and apparently last tree of the time, and wanted to play fetch with it. Big Bob spat it out onto him and crushed Prehistoric Garfield, with only his saber teeth poking out of it.
  Narrator: Thus, the world's first and last cave-cat bought the farm for failing to field the fetched frap tree.

#2: King Cat

• Ancient Egypt Garfield lording it over the slaves building the pyramids.
  Garfield: [lying on top of a stone the slaves are toting toward the pyramid] Hey, how 'bout we build a cube instead of a pyramid? [angry muttering from the slaves] Okay, okay! Big babies...
• Garfield throwing away a lit dynamite stick and accidentally blowing up his master, the pharaoh.
  "I wonder what this is? [tossing away] Oh, well. whatever it is, it probably hasn't been invented yet. [BOOM!] Then again what do I know?"

#4: Court Musician

• The "decapitation slideshow" by the jester. Particularly the Embarrassing Slide.

#5: Stunt Cat

• This entire life consists of a black and white short where Garfield is the stunt cat for Krazy Kat and is killed during a stunt where Ignatz dropped a pile of bricks on him.
  Garfield: Life no. 5 was short...
  Director: Hey, cat! You're wanted on the set!
  Garfield: I'll be right back.
  [title screen, accompanied by typical silent film piano; cut to set, where Ignatz is hoisting a pile of bricks above Krazy Kat, who is obliviously sniffing a flower]
  Director: Cut! Stunt cat!
  [Krazy Kat exits the set, and Garfield takes his place, looks at the camera, and gives a shrug of resignation]
  Director: Action! [Ignatz drops the bricks on Garfield, killing him] That's a wrap! [Ignatz shakes his head]

#6: Diana's Piano

• Diana expresses her disapproval of her owner's fiancee by clawing a pair of his pants - as he's wearing them. And then looks at her owner with a proud smile afterward. She also barely endures the new baby once he arrives.

#8: Garfield

• After Garfield meets food and causes enough damage to the kitchen of an Italian restaurant, he's carried away. His mother argues he's too small, and Garfield replies he's big enough, "I'm almost five minutes old!"

#9: Space Cat

• Garfield uses a secret weapon against the aliens, and it simply exposes a cat's paw and ejects springed claws. "I'm declawed!"

Epilogue

• God admits that "our computers are on the blink" when he explains that he doesn't know what life Garfield was on. Garfield pretends to think when asked, with a hilarious Aside Glance to the audience, before claiming to have been on his first life. God then asks if Odie is a cat too; Odie gets Garfield to play along and even throws in a "meow" for good measure. There's also something oddly funny about the fact that Garfield managed to trick GOD, even though he is the ALL SEEING being in the universe who knows every single secret that man has to hide! Talk about blasphemous!

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