Funny / Bone

  • The Bone Cousins bickering with each other in the very first issue. It's pure Comic Trio at it's finest.
    Phoney: (Jerking a thumb at Smiley) Fone Bone, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful you got me away from the townspeople. But why did you bring him along?
    Fone Bone: To torture you.
    Phoney: I KNEW IT!
  • Thorn successfully using Fone Bone as a weapon. Arguably doubles as a Crowning Moment Of Awesome.
    Fone Bone: HEY!
    Thorn: I'm sorry! It was a reflex!
  • Fone Bone's hat spontaneously catching fire seeing Thorn for the first time.
    • Their first exchange is both this and adorable:
    Thorn: Hello.
    Fone Bone: <3
    Thorn: Um...are you new around here?
    Fone Bone: FONE BONE! What's yours?!
  • When Phoney learns the hard way that the Valley runs on the barter system: "Smiley, why did you keep giving me beer? You know I don't carry dairy products!"
    • Made even funnier when you see that he had been asked for eggs!
  • The revelation of just what The Hooded One's omen to go after Phoney was. It was very, very, VERY subtle:
    • And Fone Bone's reaction.
    Fone Bone: As soon as we save him from this sacrifice, let's kill him!
    • And before that, Phoney's reaction:
    Phoney: You chased me all over Kingdom Come because of that?! O boy. Fone Bone is gonna be cranky when he finds out about this.
  • Smiley is the living embodiment of this trope. Especially in one particular chapter added to certain compilations in which he and Lucius fix Grandma Ben's roof.
  • The Blank Sandwiches scene.
  • Bartleby gets one in the 4th book (The Dragonslayer), when Smiley offers him a sandwich. Cue a friggin massive toothy maw biting onto the sandwich, with Smiley still holding onto it. And then Smiley tells him to sit. And he does. With Smiley's hand "still" in his mouth.
  • EVERYTHING involving the Two Stupid Rat Creatures, but especially during their temporary truce with Fone Bone & Smiley Bone in the 5th book. Eventually, the chaotic events lead to this gem:
    Rat Creature #1: This is insane!
    Rat Creature #2: It's stupid!
    Smiley Bone: Carry on, Fone Bone! Make a stupid decision!
  • The quiches. Dear Lord, the quiches.
  • Possibly one of the most hilarious moments in the entire series is when Phoney Bone wakes up at Old Man's Cave with Jonathan & Gran'ma Ben, along with almost everything immediately following it. It goes roughly like this:
    Phoney Bone (clutching at Jonathan's collar): Jon, please tell me Gran'ma Ben isn't Queen of the Valley! PLEASE—
    Gran'ma Ben (cheerfully): I command you to take a walk with me.
    Phoney Bone (quietly): Oh, I'm beggin' ya, man...
    Jonathan Oaks (nervously): Um, sorry. She's the Queen.
    Phoney Bone (miserably): GAH..... My life is gonna suck, isn't it?
  • Phoney gets a five-page sequence in the third issue which are pretty much one Crowning Moment Of Funny after the other, starting with his famous "God, I pity me" speech, and then in rapid succession his first meetings with the Red Dragon, Ted the Bug and Gran'ma Ben.
  • Every time the words "Stupid, stupid rat creatures" are uttered.
    • The first time in particular is special. Says Fone Bone, "Those rat creatures would have to be pretty stupid to follow me out on this frail, little branch." One frame later... well the Running Gag is born.
  • Ted the Bug "helping" Smiley to pull Fone Bone out of the hole he's stuck in.
  • In "Ghost Circles", while the Bones, Thorn and Gran'ma Ben use the secret passage to the Rat Creature Temple to escape the mountain, Fone Bone remembers it causes hallucinations. Only instead of the more terrifying ones from the first time from "Rock Ja: Master of the Eastern Boarder", the hallucinations manifest as Fone Bone and Phoney respectively dressed as/turned into Ishmael and Captain Ahab akin to Fone's Moby Dick dream from the third book. The rest of the chapter and the one following it has a field day with jokes around it.
  • The entirety of the Great Cow Race...especially when the Rat Creatures collide with the racing cows and come out of the woods with them. Not to mention flying past Gran'ma Ben when she wins the race.
    • Smiley happily reflecting on the events at the end of the series to Gran'ma Ben, only to sheepishly go silent when she glares at him.
  • Gran'ma Ben telling Fone and Phoney to get some chickens prepared for dinner...
    Gran'ma Ben: I want you boys to catch yourselves four chickens! When Smiley's got that water nice an' hot, dip th' birds in it! I want every one of them feathers gone, so soak 'em good! I better be smellin' wet feathers back here! Poo! There's a smell you don't forget too quick!
    Fone Bone: Ohmygosh. We're gonna boil 'em alive?!
    Gran'ma Ben: Of course not, dear. You're gonna cut their heads off first.
    Phoney: With what?
    Gran'ma Ben: With th' hatchet.
    Phoney: Uh... Are they gonna... y'know... Run around the yard? Squirtin' blood an' stuff?
    Gran'ma Ben: What's th' matter? Ain't you boys ever chopped th' head off a chicken before?
    Phoney, Fone Bone: Uh... uh...
    Gran'ma Ben: Oh, fer heaven's sakes! If ya can't handle a little flappin' around, just grab th' chicken by th' neck an' give her a good crank over your head — that'll kill her first!
    Phoney, Fone Bone: *Jaw Drop, look like they'll be sick, then faint.*
    Gran'ma Ben: *grabbing a hatchet and marching out of panel* Hmmf. City boys!
  • On their way back to the Barrelhaven, Phoney, Smiley, and Lucius are attacked by Rat Creatures. Smiley saves them- taking them over a cliff, where the land in a pond. Just as their getting their bearings, it starts raining.
    Smiley: Like what?
  • The look on Phoney's face when he realizes that Lucius has outwitted him at the Cow Race.
    Lucius: I'm bettin' the works!... on Gran'ma Ben! win!
  • One time, Fone Bone asks the Rat Creatures on which word rhymes with "toes" while writing a love poem. One of them - with uncharacteristic helpfulness - answers, "Potatoes?" Hilarity Ensues:
    Fone Bone: [reading] Upon your feet
    You have ten toes;
    They look just like
    [turns around, gets an Oh, Crap! look] Whoops!
    Rat Creature: Hello, small mammal.
    • Keep in-mind here, the two were trying to sneak up on Fone, and then he just suddenly looks up and asks one this question and gets an honest answer. It breaks the creepy factor so nicely, it's utterly hilarious.
  • Though a very serious and emotionally tense scene, Fone Bone's badly timed remark in this exchange is hysterical:
    Thorn: This is suddenly the truth?! My parents are dead, and I'm a princess with magical powers?!! WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME?!
    Fone Bone: A fairy princess?
    Thorn: (fuming) Thank you so much.
    Fone Bone: Sorry.
    • After catching up to Thorn when she ran off, Fone Bone immediately asks if she's okay and apologizes. Thorn is quick to forgive him and admits it was Actually Pretty Funny.
  • The ending to the Cow Race. As they approach the finish line, the Bone Cousins have led a swarm of Rat Creatures into the race, causing a huge stampede of cows and Rats. The spectators run for their lives, screaming. Gran'ma Ben just pushes herself out in front to reach the finish, shouting, "I won!" She then watches silently as the stampede passes by her. Once everything quiets down, she declares, "Hot diggity dog! That was the best darn Cow Race ever!"
  • Earlier in vol. 2, Phoney asks Smiley if anybody's been, you know, asking about him...
    Phoney: ...Big, shaggy monsters with huge teeth... they might've been asking questions about me...?
    Smiley (frowning in thought): Hmmm...
    Phoney: Jeez, Smiley! You have to think about it? Did you see any monsters or not?!
    Smiley (cheerfully): Well, sometimes I see strange stuff, but distinguishing reality from fantasy isn't always my strongest suit.
    Phoney: Forget it, okay? Go back to work.
  • Fone telling Gran'ma Ben the story of why they got run out of Boneville. It's a yarn about Phoney wanting to run for mayor, so he held a picnic with free prune tarts. Then the wind kicked up, causing a giant Phoney balloon to run amuck.
    Gran'ma Ben: And that's when they run you out.
    Fone: Nope. That's when the bad prunes kicked in.
  • Fone giving Gran'ma the map (he thinks), and then his infinite embarrassment when she starts reading one of his love poems.
    • Earlier, Smiley and Phoney teasing Fone about the poems when they find him trying to write his latest one.
  • Fone Bone weaponizing the boringness of Moby-Dick (at least, it's boring to everyone but him). It starts with Smiley asking him to read from it to help Bartleby take a nap. Fone says, "Hey! This is a work of art, not a sleeping aid!", to which Smiley replies, "Ooh! Debating its merits! Even better!" Then the two rat creatures show up, and Smiley makes Fone read from the book. He does, and the two rat creatures get this agonized look on their faces and fall over, unconscious (making Fone say, "Oh, fer cryin' out loud!"). When they wake up, wondering what happened, one says, "That voice! ...It just droned on and on... and on! It was horrible!"
  • This exchange between Phoney and Fone Bone on each other's Atheia disguises:
    Phoney: I don't see how this is supposed to make us blend in. This hat makes me look ridiculous!
    Fone Bone: Boy, I'll say! You look like an acorn!
    Phoney: Is that so? And what are you supposed to be? A lawn gnome?
    Fone Bone: Very funny.