Alive since 1934
and still at it...Disney's Bible dictates: "Duck does not live by rage alone; he must have a laugh for every groan!"
Carl Barks' Comics
Don Rosa's Comics
- Donald's angst in "Gladstone's Luck", AKA "Golf Luck"
Donald: Goodbye, boys! I'm going to lock myself in the broom closet and stay there for the rest of my life!
Don's nephews: It's Gladstone Glander that makes you notice your bad luck! He makes everyone feel like jumping off a cliff!
Donald: Go away and let me enjoy my misery!
- It Makes Sense in Context, sure, yet...◊
- "Donald Tames His Temper". Using her purse, Daisy sweetly convinces Don of keeping his cool by bashing his skull against the floor. When his nephews take excellent advantage of their uncle's softened self, it's not long before the Duck's Berserk Button is finally pushed beyond what he's willing to tolerate, so he calls his girlfriend for advice:
Daisy: Why, spank them, of course! Be firm with them, but don't show anger!
Glory be! Then it's okay to whale the BLAZES
out of 'em - If I do it with a smile!
- Any given story that pits Donald against Neighbor Jones. For instance, that time were they agreed to address each other with impeccable manners; in this scene◊, they do just that.
Donald: Nice leaky roof yah got there, Jonesie, ol' snake!
Jones: No leakier than yours, Duckie, ol' louse!
Donald: I wonder how your oriental rugs are standing this?
Jones: They're standing it better than your collection of rare books!
- Donald planting a two-dollar sapling in "Gopher Goof-Ups" and eloquently envisioning the future:
Under this mighty tree of shade...I'll sit and sip my lemonade...''
- In "Turkey with all the schemings", a hungry Don looks around his kitchen on Christmas Day, only to discover the awful truth:
Oh, me! Oh, my! I've spent ALL of my money, and there's nothing in the house to eat but a can of BEANS! This is a TRAGEDY worse than the burning of Rome!
- The entire beginning of "The Secret Of Atlantis" may be the most hilarious exchange Barks ever wrote. Scrooge sends Donald to collect a debt from someone, promising to pay him half the debt as commission. Donald's thrilled, thinking of how big half a debt owed to Scrooge McDuck ought to be. Unsurprisingly, when he gets to the address Scrooge gave him, he finds he's at his own house — the "debt" was a dime Scrooge loaned him years ago. Donald goes back, pays his uncle with a quarter, and demands his change plus his promised nickel commission. After Scrooge gives it to him, Donald celebrats how he just "settled" a ten-cent debt for only five cents and is probably the first person ever to get a nickel from Scrooge McDuck... until he gets out to the street and realizes Scrooge paid him with a worthless, foreign nickel. Scrooge admits it but reminds Donald that he specifically said that coin "settled the debt," so Scrooge doesn't owe him anything more. Donald sulks until he gets home and his nephews reveal the coin is a rare antique worth five dollars. Naturally, the very next panel is Donald gloating in front of his uncle:
Donald: Have you ever been took! You didn't give me five cents, you gave me five dollars!
Scrooge: (in tears) For the ninety-ninth time, have a heart!
- "Donald's Love Letters"- The preposterously mushy title letters, which contain such gems as "Yumsie wumsie little sugar plumsie."
Donald: Great groaning guzzards! Did I write that kind of stuff? I must have been out of my head!
- Don's obsession with singing "Lydia the Tatooed Lady" in Don Rosa's "The Treasury of Croesus"
- In "Metaphorical Spanking", the nephews complain about having to study stylish writing techniques such as "alliteration" or "simile". Their uncle puts them on their place:
I don't know from alliteration or simile, but if you lazy little loafers don't get to school I'll peel you like spuds!
- The ending of "Return to Plain Awful," land of all things square-shaped:
Donald: Admit it — they got the best of both you old birds. And now you have something in common with them.
Scrooge: Like what?
- In "The Island at the Edge of Time", upon discovering how their jet went past the "international dateline" so that it's now Tuesday instead of Monday, Donald decides to use that fact to his advantage by telling Scrooge that he owes him another day's pay. Instead, Scrooge pays him "imaginary pay" for "imaginary time".
- The capybara imitating Mickey Mouse in "The Magnificent Seven (Minus Four) Caballeros".
Indian chief: "In civilization what I learned was greed and avarice!"
Classic Disney Shorts
- Fantasia 2000: When Donald finally realizes just how screwed up the laws of the Disney universe can get◊.
- Who Framed Roger Rabbit: The entire Donald vs. Daffy nightclub battle, but particularly when Donald rises from his piano armed with a cannon and a (literally) devilish grin on his face.
House of Mouse
Walt Disney World
- "Orphan's Benefit" marks the first time Donald shows off his famed temperament, and it's a sight to behold. He also manages to survive a surprising number of bricks to the head.
- Sure, The Band Concert may be billed as a Mickey Mouse cartoon, but the Duck steals the show as far as comedy is concerned, playing a moderated Screwy Squirrel whose never ending supply of fifes drives Mickey crazy!
- "Modern Inventions" gives us the amusing Running Gag of the robot butler constantly taking Donald's hats, and the climatic Humiliation Conga where Donald winds up in the hands of an automated barber, who trims his tail and puts a bowler hat on it, while shoe-shining his face! And once that's over, the robot yet again takes his hat, sending Donald off the edge.
- In "Donald's Snow Fight", there's a scene where the nephews fire a snowball at their uncle, knocking his pompous captain's hat off and leaving him with a ridiculous hairdo. He's not amused.
- Donald's fur coat is hilarious by itself, being that it is at least three times as wide as him. Doubled when his nephews make a snowduck of him using a large rock as the snowduck's body.
- Gollum has nothing on Don's absolute lust for gold in "Donald's Gold Mine". Here.
- "Sea Salts". Donald cannot reach a coconut's meat, so he urges his companion Bootle Beetle to retrieve it for him. The beetle goes inside of the coconut, ignores Don's hunger and has a feast. Don catches on, and demands to receive the remaining piece a.s.a.p. Said piece is too big to fit through the coconut's holes, so Bootle bites the sides so it gets smaller, to the point it becomes a pathetic, minuscule piece. Aware of his comrade's temper, he shrugs at the audience, throws the piece through the hole, and covers his ears. Cue Donald's furious squawking. Here.
- In the same short, a now-elderly Donald learns he can't dance anymore...The hard way.
- "Clown of the Jungle", featuring Donald vs. the Aracuan Bird. Basically the closest thing to a Tex Avery short to ever come out of Disney.
- In "Canvas Back Duck" Donald is roped into boxing "Peewee" Pete.
Crowd Member: "Ah, the guy's yellow!"
Nephew: "He is not!"
Donald: "I am too. Let's go home."
- "Donald's Tire Trouble". The entire short is just watching Donald change a flat tire, but you'd be surprised how much his Hair-Trigger Temper makes it into such a huge ordeal. It gets especially funny when Donald gets trapped inside the tire.
- The Wartime Cartoon "The Vanishing Private" is all pretty funny as Donald, after accidentally becoming, makes life hell for Pete, who is his commanding officer. However, there are two moments that are especially hilarious.
- First, there is the priceless expression on the general's face when he shakes his head no after Pete asks him if he has seen Donald:
Pete: Did you see a little guy that you can't see?
- Second is the closing scene: Pete is in a prison cell wearing a straitjacket, with the now-visible-again Donald guarding him!
Pete: I ain't crazy! You know I ain't crazy! Go tell the general that I ain't crazy.
Donald: Do you think I'm crazy?
Non Official Work
- In Mickey's Philharmagic, how does a little flute decide to make Donald miserable? By playing The Mickey Mouse Club March. Over. And over. And over.