Miss Litchi! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEE YYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUU!!!!
You seem to be lacking in areas. Especially around the che- Wait, what are you doing?! DON'T SHOOT!!
In his joke ending, he manages to freeze Jin in a block of ice and set the surrounding area on fire. Noel tries to make him fix it. Bang's responce? Run like hell.
The scene where Ragna and Taokaka realize they've had a big misunderstanding about who exactly is paying the no doubt large bill they've racked up at a restaurant.
Noel's Joke Ending, where after being defeated by Tager, she wakes up in Litchi's clinic. Litchi then chases Noel all around Kagutsuchi trying to get Noel to dress in a variety of outfits, including Valentine's.
Also, Kokonoe starts talking about modifying Bang's body, but then says she wants to test the mods on Hakumen's body first. Cut to Hakumen, who gets a chill down his spine and senses a great danger, even worse than what he felt against the Black Beast.
Arakune's Astral Finish.
Nu's arcade playthrough has her exchange with Taokaka. Mostly because the ever calculating Nu looks at Taokaka and has no idea what to think.
This line seals it: "Tao is Tao! Are you flappy-flap? What do you want from meow?"
In Noel's story mode, there's the segment where she... *ahem* plays with Makoto.
Noel: But they're so soft. Especially your tail. What's this? A concealed weapon?
Makoto: I'm not a stuffed animal! I am-
*boing boing*
Blazblue: Continuum Shift
Bang's victory sequence against Arakune in arcade mode of Continuum Shift - Bang offers to give Arakune a bath; the latter just wants to get the hell out of there. Hilarity Ensues.
Noel hates Ragna's teasing and insults, and this is reflected during their fights. She says things like "Stop calling me stupid!" and "I'm not dumb!" during certain moves, but the CMoF comes when she uses her Zero-Gun:Fenrir special, in which she shouts, while filling Ragna with bullets: "Ragna The Bloodedge... YOU'RE STUPID!"
And the followup in BlazBlue: Continuum Shift, when Noel uses the same move against Ragna: "I'm sick of being called 'stupid'...! Especially by a MORON like YOU!" Fridge Brilliance: don't they fight like brother and sister?
How about Hazama's Joke Ending? It can only be expressed with an equation, Hazama's hatred of cats + all the cats and cat people in Kagutsuchi suddenly being attracted to him = Hilarity Ensues.
Rachel's Joke End. Her Spectacles of Eros will make you laugh silly. Reason? She's not too happy to see Ragna with Platinum. More epicly all the girls from Kagutsuchi minus Taokaka, Tsubaki and Linhua. To add more fuel to this gag reel...Jin has to show up to 'save' his brother.
Litchi wants to gives him the love potion but fail thanks to Noel and admit her love to Ragna, but a random stalker HAS to show up at the wrong moment...
Kokonoe tries to give him a sleeping candy but is foiled by Litchi. The best part is what Kokonoe explaining what she's going to do with Ragna, with multiple instances of creative censoring.
Kokonoe: First, I intended to take his INFERNO DIVIDER and put it in a CARNAGE SCISSORS, and maybe a little GAUNTLET HADES too? My goodness, I can only imagine his HELL'S FANG will DEATH SPIKE!.
Noel admitting... THAT SHE'S MARRIED TO RAGNA (via forged marriage registration).
Noel: Ragna the Bloodedge is officially... is officially MY husband!
Rachael: How dare you Ragna! You could have ME as your wife! Why?!
Ragna: YOU, stay out of this! You're just making things worse!
Makoto and Lambda pounce upon Ragna, crushing him beneath their supple, young bodies. His reply is a muffled groan of agony. INSTANCE OF ACTUAL NARRATION.
Ada... objects to Noel's "marriage" to Ragna in her own way.
Rachel: Oh my... is that... a detonator? * boom* Kokonoe: YES! That was the sound of multiple explosive detonations! Oh, I love the sound of explosions in the morning! And I do believe they're coming from the direction of Kagutsuchi city hall! Noel: WHAT?!Nooooooooo! I won't be able to submit one of my duplicate registrations!! Luna: You actually had more of them?! You conniving little bitch!
Then Jin shows up...
Ragna: JIN!?
Rachel: My goodness. This is... both unexpected and... pleasing.
Jin: You seem to be surrounded by a great number of beautiful women. Perhaps you could explain the meaning of all this?
Ragna: Hey, not you too! Oh, and what's with your eyes?... They're... heart-shaped!?
Jin: You horrible pack of harpies, don't you dare touch my brother! Get away from him, or I'LL CUT YOU TO PIECES!!
Carl's gag ending in Continuum Shift, which parodies Scooby-Dooso much. He spends the night in the Academy grounds with Noel, Tsubaki and Makoto, trying to solve the "Seven Mysteries of the Academy". Each turns out to have increasingly implausible and funny explanations, including the mysterious piano playing and dancing skeleton being Valkenhayn playing the piano and dancing with the skeleton while fantasizing about Rachel, the disembodied laughter being Jin practising his laugh for when he faces Ragna, and the mysterious extra step on the stairs being Taokaka asleep at the bottom. Don't forget Ragna being the ghost girl, which is even more funny considering how much he's scared of ghosts.
Although, the English version's "BROOOOOOOOOOOOOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" is just as funny.
Noel's Gag Ending. The hysterical voice of the waitress, Carl's memories of Noel's cooking, Bang trying to hold a conversation with Nirvana...then Noel's first dish comes out. The only way to describe it is that Bang apparently EXPLODES trying to eat it.And that's only the beginning...
"What that 'something' was defied description. It didn't sit on the plate so much as squat malevolently, hating all and being hated by all..."
Besides, you know your dish sucks when only Hazama likes it.
Tsubaki's Joke Ending, where she wanders into Orient Town and meets a very drunk Litchi. Yep, you guessed it. Noel's Calamity Trigger Joke Ending Part 2. Although, Tsubaki is much more co-operative.
Litchi's Joke Ending also, especially for this little gem when Bang thought Litchi is going to do something to him per the game rules...
Linhua: The previous holder must ki—
Bang: Ooh! Does this mean 'kiss passionately'!? Ah! Miss Litchi, whenever you're ready, I am ready also!!
Linhua: —ick him in the ass so hard.
From Taokaka's story mode, where after defeating Tsubaki, she "tests" her breasts. The Tuna Avenger deems them average.
Tsubaki: H-How dare she calls these "average". They're not average... are they?
Notice how even the eye on Tsubaki's hat is opening up wildly when Taokaka is "testing".
Bang's Gag End as well. Taokaka nearly blurted out that Litchi is pretty much Oblivious to Love on Bang, in which Tsubaki, who has sworn to strike down on Bang if he lied (he told her that he and Litchi were dating), was nearly losing it. Bang tried bargaining Tao with meat buns to keep up with the lie... in which Tao starts displaying 'nasty' bargaining skills that ups the amount of meat buns she'll get (the voice also changed more 'sinisterly'). In the end, he... succeeded, sort of.
When Makoto fights Noel, Tsubaki, Jin or Hazama, it plays the typical Badass Creed intro they all share. However, Makoto being Makoto, she sometimes messes up her line. Their reactions are priceless.
This example is a little odd but hear me out. In Bang's True Ending, Hazama is fought and, no surprise here, he is perfectly okay right after he is beaten. But then Bang decides to use Fu-rin-ka-Zan. Then this exchange happens:
Hazama: Oh-ho! So that's your secret trick, huh? Pretty nice, I'll admit, but I dont think it's gonna be enough to be me.
Bang:Perhaps not...But it is enough to run away! (he flees in a puff of smoke)
The Fandom Nod in Calamity Trigger Reconstruction, when Bang is beaten by Jin...
Bang: Stand down, my numbered subordinates! This is my fight, and you have no chance against someone who spams "Ice Cars" constantly...
Luna accusing Ragna of being a pedophile, and then attempting to pick a fight with him.
Luna: "Bring it on, Aqualung!"
The waitress practically steals the show in that scene with all her misconceptions about Ragna...
Waitress: "I hear you lust after your own brother!"
Ragna: "No I'm into little gi—wait that's not right either..."
Waitress: "Eek! A Pervert!"
The prelude to Rachel's intervention in Slight Hope. Seeing Hazama's calm and collected facade go flying out the window because Makoto was in an alternate timeline without knowing such herself is priceless.
"You know, when you said 'Noel Vermillion' a few moments ago, I damn near peed myself. All of my plans - POOF! - instantly undone. All thanks to you." "Might as well ask for a pony, too, so long as you're wishing for unlikely things. Thanks to your flitting about doing what you please, my plans have gone fair-to-middling FUBAR! You're really starting to grate upon my nerves - sorry, but it's true. Relius was going to take care of you, but shit... I just don't think I can WAIT that long..." "Damn vampire! You LIVE to cockblock me, don't you?! Well, UNlive... you know what I meant..."
Speaking of Makoto's Extend Story Mode, the exchange between Makoto and Rachel at the end was rather funny.
In Platinum's story, after Platinum left Ragna with a massive bill for the food they (mostly she) ate, Ragna attempts to claim that he is the Grim Reaper to avoid paying for the money... yet the waitress didn't buy it, taking excuse of how different Ragna looks like in real and in the bounty picture. And so, Ragna gets to be a dishwasher...
In a similar scene in Calamity Trigger Reconstruction, everyone did recognize Ragna from the poster when he pointed out to Tao that he has no way to pay for all the food. He doesn't get a break, does he?
Makoto's Joke Ending. Dear God, Makoto's Joke Ending. Makoto runs a dramatic re-enactment of her questionable family life with randomized casting. It turns out like:
Makoto's Father: Noel.
Makoto's Mother: Hazama.
Makoto's Younger Sister, Mikoto: Bang.
Makoto's Older Brother, Mukoto: Valkenhayn.
Makoto's Younger Twin Siblings, Mekoto and Mokoto: Carl and Nirvana.
Not to mention poor Makoto's increasing frustration at how it's turned out:
(on Mommy Hazama): What the eff, guys? Just because Mommy can be a psycho-bitch on occasion doesn't mean you have to cast a sociopath! (on Bang as soft-spoken Mikoto): Wow... just... wow. I don't even give a rat's ass anymore. Moving on... (when hearing about Valkenhayn's attempt at clumsiness): You punched through a guy's head?! WTF bro?! (when questioned how her family life would have turned out): "That was supposed to be the point of this! But then you had to go balls it up by mis-casting everyone!"
Makoto: NO! That's not what happened at all! This was the worst reenactment ever! Y'all SUCK!
Also, Makoto's reaction to Ragna being the baby:
Ragna: Goo. ('Sup?) Makoto: What the fuuu--?! Ragna: Goo! Goo ga ga! (Hey! No F-Bombs!)
"GA GA GOO GOO! (CARNAGE SCISSORS!)"
Makoto hanging a lampshade on the the amount of fanservice in the game, after telling Noel how to replicate her father's signature bodybuilder pose - leaning back whilst holding his hands behind his head, for an "abs & gun-show".
Makoto: "Huh. It's all "BOOYAH!" when Daddy does it. When you do it, it's just... fan-service. Well, whatever. You'll just have to take my word for it, guys — We're already on thin ice with the rating's board as it is..."
Bang: We NOT cool! That sentance doesn't even have a verb, woman! Hazama: Shut your trap! Narration: Mommy ends Mikoto's rant with a wicked right cross to the mouth - a textbook example of the famous Nanaya "tough love." Noel: H-Honey... You just launched our daughter through the roof! Hazama: She was giving Mommy a headache! Use your inside voice, Mikoto! Capiche? [Groans from the off-screen Bang.] Hazama: See? Crisis averted. Makoto: Uh, that wasn't so much an answer as it was teeth rattling around in a mouthful of blood...
And then...
Hazama: Don't steal my thunder, Makoto. Yelling at you kids is Mommy's only pleasue in life. Well, that and her telenovelas...
Valkenhayn: Someone! Cut me a switch, that I may punish her!
Hazama: Hey! That's Daddy's only pleasure in life! Put up your dukes, kid!
Valkenhayn: You think you can best me, Mommy?
Hazama: I brought you into this world - I can sure as shit take you out of it!
And that's not even getting into bringing home the baby...
Valkenhayn: Mommy, where's the baby?
Hazama: Uh, yeah. About that. We got into a tiff on the way home, so... he'll get here when he gets here.
Makoto: You fought a BABY?!
Hazama: No, of course not...
Makoto: Good, good. Whew!
Hazama: He spat up on me, so I returned the favor. Hey, tit for tat, right? Anyhoo, he didn't much take to that. We stared each other down for a minute or two, then parted ways.
Noel: You barfed on our baby? Like... Purposely?!
Relius' Joke Ending is just as funny. When Kokonoe and Relius are doing a body-switching experiment, Hilarity Ensues. In order to help Relius, Kokonoe decides to use the soul-swapping machine to test out the unlucky subjects. Even better, try changing it to Japanese voice to show how Tomokazu Sugita, Chiwa Saito and Kana Ueda trying to act as Jin, Hazama and Bang, respectively
To clarify, Ragna and Jin swap with each other, then Ragna!Jin swaps with Makoto. Hazama and Taokaka swap, followed by Bang and Rachel.
Many of their reactions to switching bodies count:
Ragna as Jin: Huh? Hey, my voice's all funny... and why're my clothes so confining? Wait, these aren't- OH SON OF A BITCH! Makoto as Ragna: Huh? Did you steal my boobs, Kokonoe? And my butt feels all... incomplete... where's my tail? Hazama as Taokaka: Kokonoe, what'd you do to my pants? I'm feeling an updraft, you kinky scientist, you... Wait, what?! Taokaka as Hazama: Who stuck Tao in a hipster?! Meow! You can't be Tao! I'm Tao! ...But you're Tao! Did I catnip too much catnip?! Bang as Rachel: My, there's two of me! And this new, soft-spoken me is terrifyingly tall! Ye gods, man, you're a colossus! What is the meaning of this?! Makoto as Ragna: (after listening to Ragna as Jin and Jin as Makoto talking) Geez, and I thought myfamily was nuts...
Platinum's Joke Ending is a merciless parody of the Magical Girl genre where the flat-chested girls, Platinum, Rachel, Noel, and Nirvana, plus, um, Carl, team up to take down the evil Boing Queen, Litchi, and her minions, Taokaka, Tsubaki, and Makoto, along with the mole Arakune and personal bodyguard Ragna (who is easily scared off with a ghost joke). Complete with the mysterious masked hero, the Puppeteer Mask, Relius.
Valkenhayn's Joke Ending is not as funny as the others, but is also pretty notable. Most of the time, Ragna gets loads of joke abuse in his gag reel. Some of which are:
Who knew that Ragna the Bloodedge doesn't know how to use a smartphone.
Ragna: Goddamnit Jin! If you pinch my ass one more time...
Ragna seems to get beaten up by Valkenhayn for trying to wake up Rachel.
Not to mention Valkenhayn's life threatening trek into a monster-filled canyon, to use a microwave!
Special mention goes to Valkenhayn describing the legend of the "Sleeping Crimson Eyed Pigtails", and he goes on to say that even Hakumen pees himself at the mere mention of it. Ragna's reaction?
And this, after Tao eats a dictionary in an attempt to become smarter:
Taokaka: Meow, this tastes horrible. Tao is very disappointed.
Makoto: (underwhelmed) Yeah. I kinda suspected as much.
In fact, let's just say pretty much anything Makoto says or does in this episode.
From Taokaka: "Poly-tits? Are those a new type of boobies?"
Ragna's description of Taokaka's so-called "handwriting":
Ragna: What the hell is this? Can you read any of this? I mean your writing...it looks like you dipped a bunch of worms in paint, made them do an unholy mix of breakdance and lambada, and watched as they exploded from the strain...but a hundred times worse.
From the original Teach me's, Carl's Episode has him pretend to be Rachel. Which consists of him taking his glasses off, speaking in a high voice, and demanding Tea.
In one episode, Ragna has no clue what time it is and apparently loses track of time and Gii lampshades it.
Gii: That's what unemployment'll do to ya. No sense of time whatsoever.
Help Me, Professor Kokonoe!
Doubling as a Crowning Moment of Awesome: In Hazama's 'Help me, Dr. Kokonoe!' section... Hazama finally gets his comeuppance for being a Troll when Kokonoe brutalizes him after he badmouthed her in HER show.
Just as the Extend gag reels are some of the funniest yet, so are the Help Me Professor Kokonoe segments.
While Makoto's bad ending is pure terror and Tear Jerker material, it is followed by a very funny HMPK segment, to help cheer you up. Kokonoe flying into A-Cup Angst rage has to be seen to be believed.
Relius once again proves his credentials as a Bad Ass villain by trolling Kokonoe. In her own lab! And he doesn't even speak much!
Platinum's isn't bad either. Poor Kokonoe struggling to put up with the little brat (or brats?).
Jin's episode of Help Me, Professor Kokonoe!. Kokonoe gets fed up with Jin when he pulls his usual crap, so she summons her ulitmate weapon: Ragna. The results must beseen tobe believed.
Arakune's episode of Help Me, Professor Kokonoe! involves a meeting with the totallycharming and totallyOut of Character "Irresistable Arakune". Both Litchi and Kokonoe prefer the old Arakune.
Bonus on Arakune's version: Tager in a French Maid outfit, and being turned into a vacuum cleaner to clean up Arakune's dirts. The poor guy.
Blazblue Expanded Media
Anything from Blaz Blue Radio (Bururaji). Takeyourpick.
December 17, 2011. Instead of "Please Scold Me Ragna", they went with Tsubaki and Asami Imai goes ranting for a full minute about the BlazBlue music CD before Tomokazu Sugita (as Ragna) tells her to stop already and start the program.
Blue Fes 2012 -Riot of Summer Again- 2012. By the 2nd minute mark, you'd probably rolling on the floor laughing. And it only goes on from there. To note:
How everyone introduces themselves as "Issochi" (Makoto's seiyuu).
How the second episode of Bururaji Hyper ends. What should have been an epic speech from Tsubaki gets ruined thanks to Asami Imaispitting out saliva by accident.
This alone made the limited-edition set oh so worth it.
"Much like Communism, the A-button Tager Buster is invincible! ... For a while. It also has a lot of range, but deals only weak, American damage. The B-button Tager Buster has less range than the A-version, but is faster and does real, Soviet damage!"
Another one from the Drama CD with One Dialogue, Two Conversations between Jin and Noel. He is talking about doing (killing) a debt collector that has been pestering Ragna. She thinks that he is talking about doing Ragna.
Noel: W-were you talking about doing it or not?
Jin: I'm going to do it. It'll be quick.
Noel: EH!!!?
Jin: Why are you so surprised? Doing someone like him won't take long.
Noel: M-major! That's not the right mindset! You need to be more careful about the other person!
Jin: But of course.
Noel: It should not be done one sidedly... you should consider the other person... with care and love... the two of you should feel all bubbly and then nyannyan...
Jin: ... What are you talking about, Lieutenant?
And in the end, the clueless Jin ends up thinking that "nyannyan" is the new street slang for "killing" someone.
If you like Hazama's Gag Reel in CS, you might enjoy the CT Drama CD where Jin got subjected to similar attack by Taokaka thanks to the food that Noel spilled over his pants. It's like Jin finally got a comeuppance after all the creepy crap he put Ragna though. Jin screaming his head off while struggling to get Tao off his pants:
Jin: No, don't bite it!! IT'S NOT A WEINEEEERRRRR!!!!
One of the youtuber by the name Daggertail100 created a fan-made of Help Me Doctor Hazama. Here's one of the funny video regarding him and his refund department. Try checking out his channel as there's some funny moment in his segment.
Blazblue Remix Heart manga has some funny moments. You can expect loads of fanservice in this manga due to the fact that it's been drawn by a doujin artist, Sumeragi.
The Death Dinner in the first chapter. Mai Natsume decides to try it out. Her reaction? She actually ENJOYS it and even comments it's a taste of god, much to everyone's surprise. Everyone is convinced that Noel's cooking got better...that is until Faycott takes a bite of the same dish and is instantly KO'd.
This actually becomes a recurring gag as Mai ADORES Noel's food as she can't eat normal food due to her Super Taste skill (as the moment she eats it she hears the thoughts of the ingredients and the chef who cooked it). She even goes as far as to deliberately get the punishment in one chapter just to eat Noel's food, much to her friend's dismay.
So to say, Noel's dish was so infamous the teachers decide to use it as punishment to slackers and bad students.
Teacher Emma's secret cosplay room. The whole scene in it.
How does Emma find out that the girls found her secret room? She finds Noel wearing her bra (with padding) and promptly reaches into her clothing and snatches it back.
Noel: (after the above) My dream....
Blazblue: Chrono Phantasma
The Ragna VS Rachel special battle intro. Rachel uses Silpheed to float away from Ragna's many slashes as he tries to hit her before she touches the ground. Problem, Ragna?
