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Dumped via Text Message

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"All I get is a letter? You could've at least looked me in the eye when you ripped my heart out!"
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Breakups are never easy. The pain of being rejected by someone you've formed a bond with can be excruciating and very, very hard to get over. Luckily, not every breakup is quite as bad as others- if it's done properly and respectfully, the pain of heartbreak can be somewhat alleviated, and the ex-couple may even be able to reconnect as Amicable Exes. Then there are these breakups.

No warning will be given. No concern will be had for the feelings of the person being dumped. There may not even be any explanation. Worst of all, it will be done over text message, making the act as distant and easy as possible for the dumper but as unfair and disrespectful as possible for the person being dumped. It's inherently one-sided, with the dumper only caring about themselves.

The key is that the breakup is done in the most convenient way possible for the dumper, requiring no effort or time on their part, requiring only that they pick up a phone or, perhaps, spend five minutes writing an email. What matters more than the mode of delivery is that it's kept quick, simple and informal. Any form of breakup that can occur instantly through the use of technology is acceptable, so long as the couple could not physically talk in person and the mode of delivery only benefits the dumper. For this reason, this trope can be both compared and contrasted to a "Dear John" Letter, which is kept formal and icy and often occurs to end a long-distance relationship. However, a breakup letter can work if kept short, blunt, and unprovoked.

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This is almost always a sign that the dumper is a bad, selfish, and uncaring person, who is willing to break someone's heart without even a token attempt at considering their feelings. As such, this form of breakup is the territory of the resident Jerkass. The emphasis can be on the dumper to show how callous they are, or it can be on the victim, to emphasize their reaction.

Not related to Offscreen Breakup, which is a breakup that the audience never gets to see.

No Real Life Examples, Please! Though this is Truth in Television, this is not the place to talk about how ethical some breakup methods are in reality.


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Examples:

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    Advertising 
  • A 1990s advert by British Telecom shows how to be curt and remote with old tech: a boy is sitting on a park bench. A girl appears, and they have the following conversation. "Are you Darren?" "Yeah." "Karen says you're dumped." (Exit girl). The ad finishes with the boy using a landline to tell one of his friends that he dumped the girl.

    Comic Books 

    Film - Live-Action 
  • Sierra Burgess is a Loser: The fact that Veronica is dumped by her college boyfriend over DM is used to shame her in front of the school. She herself is embarrassed and broken over it.
  • In Up in the Air, Natalie's boyfriend dumps her via text message while she's on a business trip, causing her to have a meltdown in the middle of an airport.

    Literature 
  • The Three Musketeers has a 17th-century variation after Milady de Winter arranges another midnight rendezvous with the Count de Wardes (unaware that every letter to the count ended up given to d'Artagnan, and even their first meeting was with d'Artagnan with the lights off), and gets a reply that basically tells her to wait her turn, he's got so many women throwing themselves at him he can afford to be picky. Milady is stunned and mortified before turning furious, seducing d'Artagnan in exchange for killing de Wardes. After she upholds her end of the bargain, d'Artagnan has the brilliant idea to reveal the entire truth to her, although this lets him see her fleur-de-lis brand that identifies her as Athos' wife.

    Live-Action TV 
  • Big Time Rush: In "Big Time Halloween", Kendall asks Frankencarlos to text Jo for him. The text was so poorly written, she assumed it was a break-up text, and set out for revenge.
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine, "Into the Woods": Discussed. Rosa Diaz plans to break up with Marcus who is her superior's nephew. Captain Holt and Rosa are both stoic, no-nonsense people and they discuss the break-up strategy (only because Holt sensed something is off). They agree that a text will be fine. Holt later talks about it with his husband who tells him they are both "sociopaths". Rosa agrees to break up with Marcus in person.
    Holt: Listen, I know I probably shouldn't get involved, but Marcus is my nephew, and I hope you'll let him down gently.
    Rosa: Don't worry. I don't want things to be awkward. I'm gonna send him a text while he's sleeping that says, "We're done."
    Holt: Clear. Accurate. But do you feel like it's enough?
    Rosa: "We're done. Good-bye."
    Holt: Yes. That should do it.
  • An episode of How I Met Your Mother sees Ted reconsidering girls that he broke up with for seemingly petty reasons now that he's ready to settle down. He considers Natalie, whom he attempts to reunite with... only to get the door slammed in his face. When the gang asks why she reacted so badly, Ted revealed that he broke up with her over the phone. Which wasn't too bad... until it's revealed that he didn't even speak to her and just left a voicemail. While all her friends were in her apartment in hiding for her surprise birthday party, earning Ted a major What the Hell, Hero? from his friends.

    Stand-Up Comedy 
  • Comedian Jean-François Dérec has a skit about his various smart and connected appliances:
    Dérec: Wait, I just got a text message... telling me I'm receiving a fax! (goes to fax machine) We... are... through... bastard.

    Video Games 
  • In Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, one of the echo-messages is a guy named Steve, dumping his girlfriend over text, even admitting in-text that what he was doing was cold and not ideal.

    Webcomics 
  • On the first page of the webcomic/print comic "Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong" by Prudence Shen and Faith Erin Hicks, Holly texts Charlie: "I'm breaking up with you", as shown in the page image.

    Web Video 
  • In the video "When You Lose to a Character You're Trying to Unlock" by The Keef Crew, one character plays Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and tries to unlock the characters his friends request, starting with Lucas, and loses badly. His friends are stunned, and his phone displays texts by his "Big Booty Bae" who is just as incredulous. When he tries again and loses to Ganondorf, his friends ridicule him relentlessly, and the texts from "Big Booty Bae" say that she's leaving him because he's trash at the game.
  • In the Kelly short "Text Message Breakup" by Liam Kyle Sullivan, Kelly's boyfriend does exactly that while she is at a family dinner. She and her friends tear a strip off him for it and launch an online Smear Campaign against him.
    "You couldn't even spell 'break' right!"

    Western Animation 
  • In DC Super Hero Girls, Hal Jordan dumped Carrol Ferris via a text. Bad enough? Turns out she's a love crazy violet lantern known as Star Sapphire and will not take no for an answer.
  • Total Drama: During the "Celebrity Manhunt" special, it's discovered that Trent, Cody, Justin and Harold had formed a Boy Band after the events of Total Drama Action. To show the fame going to their heads, Justin breaks up with a girl over text in the middle of an interview, and Trent asks him to send the same text to his girlfriend. To hammer it in, a girl in the window behind them is then shown getting a text and bursting into tears.
  • In Batman: The Brave and the Bold, Firestorm (the Ronnie Raymond side) gains the wrath of his former girlfriend, Killer Frost, like this, which according to Ronnie was "quick and painless" and "the humane thing to do". To be fair, she wasn't a supervillain at the time before her accident changed her into one. She also had a list of other reasons why Ronnie was a rotten boyfriend such that the dumping was the "cherry on top." This caused Jason to deliver a "What is WRONG with you, Coach?" to Ronnie, forcing Ronnie on the defensive.
  • 6teen, in the infamous "The One with the Text Message", this is how Sirena breaks up with Wyatt, breaking his heart in the process and is remembered for the rest of the series.

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