Don't trust that poster, it's anything but your old school Swashbuckler.
The Adventures of Philibert, Captain Virgin (Les aventures de Philibert, capitaine puceau) is a 2011 French swashbuckler parody film directed by Sylvain Fusée.
In the mid-16th century, in Brittany, Philibert (Jérémie Renier) is a naive but good-natured, pious and idealistic young man who was raised by an artichoke farmer and has decided to remain a virgin as long as he hasn't married the woman of his life, which he hasn't found yet. Upon dying, the farmer reveals that Philibert isn't his biological son. Philibert was fathered by Fulgence, Count Bérendourt of Saint-Avoise, who was assassinated by Clotindre (Alexandre Astier), Count of Artois. Philibert sets out to avenge him, and wacky adventures ensue for the young virgin.
This film provides examples of the following tropes:
- Abnormal Allergy: The allergy to leather seen on the Black Squadron guards doesn't exist in Real Life.
- Anachronism Stew: Many of the costumes look more like they belong to the 17th and 18th centuries than they do to the 16th. Many shirts, hats, capes and pretty much all of the swords in particular.
- And Now You Must Marry Me: Clotindre forces Inès to marry him.
- Artifact Alias: Even after knowing that his birth name is Eudes, Philibert still goes by that latter name.
- The Big Damn Kiss: Inès kisses Philibert after he's finally killed Clotindre.
- Black Comedy: Philibert and Inès happily bond over the fact that members of each other's families died from The Black Death and many other epidemics the exact same years. Except the sister of Inès, Philibert didn't have a sister who committed suicide by hanging, at least.
- Blade Brake: Attempted by Philibert to save Inès from Clotindre at the end, with a dagger on a long curtain. It fails just above half of the curtain, which then collapses altogether with a rough landing for Philibert.
- Camp Straight: Philibert, dear lord... He has rather effeminate manners, his tights constantly highlight his perfect butt and his crotch, but he's straight throughout.
- Captain Obvious: After the death of Philibert's adoptive father, the latter's biological son reveals to Philibert that... he's not his brother.
- Chick Magnet: Several women offer themselves to Philibert over the course of the film (even two at the same time after he wakes up naked), but he stands by his virginity vow. Even when they bare it all.
- Cross Attack: The priest who serves Clotindre and is about to marry him to Inès KOs Philibert with his cross after the latter peforms his Super Window Jump into the chapel.
- Death by Childbirth: The mothers of both Philibert and Inès died when giving birth to them.
- Deathbed Confession: When the artichoke farmer who raised Philibert is dying, he confesses not being his father and tells him all about his true nobility origins.
- Deconstructive Parody: Of Hollywood-made and French-made Swashbuckler films from the '30s to the '60s that starred the likes of Errol Flynn, Jean Marais and Gérard Barray. Most of the heroism-related tropes, idealism and drama common to the genre are put into the picture and exaggerated in order to be made fun of.
- Didn't Think This Through: Philibert volunteers to go row on the Slave Galley Martin is onboard of in order to free him. Somehow, he didn't expect to be put in chains.
- Easily Forgiven: Inès is no Jimena and quickly comes to forgive Philibert for killing her father (though it's also because she's deeply smitten by him and has figured out it was a ploy by Clotindre to get rid of her father and inherit their wealth).
- Evil Wears Black: Clotindre, the Big Bad, wears black clothes. And so do his men."Black is dignified, black is dark, black is fear-inducing!"
- Flynning: Pretty blatant in the final duel between Philibert and Clotindre, where they're more focused on hitting each other's sword for a while.
- Form-Fitting Wardrobe: Philibert often wears tights, and they espouse his butt's shape a little too well... not to mention his crotch.
- The Full Name Adventures: "The Adventures of Philibert, Captain Virgin".
- Given Name Reveal: Philibert's birth name is actually "Eudes". But he prefers "Philibert" anyway.
- Happy Ending: Philibert kills Clotindre and is finally free to marry Inès, and the same probably goes for Martin and the girl who was earlier used as "defiling" torture on Philibert.
- Hell-Bent for Leather: Clotindre has some sort of leather fetish and forces his Black Squadron guards to wear black leather masks and a black leather torso armor. The black leather makes said guards allergic.
- The Hero: The pure, noble-at-heart Philibert, to a deliberately exaggerated extent.
- Ignore the Fanservice: Philibert takes his Vow of Celibacy and love for Inès so seriously that, by the point the inn's servant comes at his room with a message for him and undresses hoping he'll jump on her, his attention is completely focused on the letter, seeing her naked has no effect on him and he just closes the door on her.
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Philibert eventually skewers Clotindre with his sword.
- Iron Maiden: Clotindre has one in his Torture Cellar.
- Just Like Robin Hood: After escaping the galleys, Philibert and Martin gather a band of thieves and ambush the men of Clotindre who carry the gold that serves as dowry for his planned wedding to Inès.
- Knight in Shining Armor: Exaggerated with Philibert, who is idealistic to a fault and therefore quite naive.
- Land in the Saddle: As per the genre's cliché, Philibert escapes from his first encounter with Clotindre by jumping through a window onto his horse's saddle. This time however, it seems like he weights nothing upon landing.
- Let's Fight Like Gentlemen: Philibert disarms Clotindre at one point during their final duel, but throws his sword back in his hand so as to not kill a disarmed man. He does the same later on when Clotindre faces him with only a dagger.
- Love at First Sight: Philibert and Inès are instantly smitten with each other as soon as they look at each other (underscored by the instant romantic music).
- Master Swordsman: Philibert is a very good fencer.
- Murder by Mistake: Philibert kills the father of Inès believing him to be Clotindre, Coout of Artois (he was his cousin, actually).
- Pretty Boy: Philibert's one really handsome young blond man, to the point he's a Chick Magnet (and very reluctant about it).
- Regal Ruff: Clotindre wears a small black-colored one around his neck for the first two thirds of the film, then dons a ridiculously large one for his planned forced wedding to Inès.
- Running Gag: Philibert being a reluctant Chick Magnet and several women offering themselves to him on the spot (with some of them outright undressing) and him resisting the temptation out of his Vow of Celibacy.
- Shout-Out:
- When Philibert is sent to the galleys, that part plays out very much like Ben-Hur.
- The final duel between Philibert and Clotindre on Clotindre's castle's stone stairs inevitably brings the final duel between Robin and Sir Guy of Gisbourne from The Adventures of Robin Hood to mind.
- Skilled, but Naive: Philibert is a great fencer, but he's naive about many things in life and a Horrible Judge of Character.
- Slave Galley: Clotindre's favorite method of disposing of someone is to send them "to the galleys". One of his Black Squadron guards, Martin and Philibert end up there.
- The Stinger: The Turk is a galley slave once again, and is happy at that (meaning Philibert wasn't joking when he said he must be sent to the galleys again).
- Stylistic Suck:
- In the film's universe, the food looks fake and colored as if it came from a theme park ride.
- The galley is obviously a model in a small pool.
- Super Window Jump: Philibert enters the chapel where the forced wedding is held by jumping through a stained glass window.
- Title Sequence: Has the form of a book with the actors' names and other credits written on its turning pages.
- Torture Cellar: Clotindre has a torture chamber in his castle's cellar.
- Torture Technician: Clotindre has a master torturer working for him.
- "The Villain Sucks" Song: There's one circulating in the kingdom about Philibert coming to skewer the villainous Count Clotindre of Artois. Naturally, Clotindre hates it (even if he makes his underlings sing it - dreadfully - to hear the lyrics). It gets to the point he makes an edict (in the form of another song - and a badly written one at that) to threaten anyone on his lands who sings it with a Fate Worse than Death.
- Vow of Celibacy: Philibert has vowed to avoid sexual encounters until he finds and marries the woman of his life.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: Philibert's idealism reaches Fairy Tale levels at times.
- Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: The character affect "old French" manners of speaking and some words sound like it, though it's actually anything but.
