Secret Character
NAME: Gokou Ruri
LOOKS: Average
SMARTS: Above Average
PERSONALITY: Jerk with a Heart of Gold
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Pure Win. She cooks and takes care of her sister.
ECONOMICS: She's just too smart to be a normal Office Lady. I could see her as a great mom.
FIGHTING SKILLS: None. But she'll intellectually beat you to pulp in a debate.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: She's an otaku that goes by the name "Kuroneko". Fitting because she's like a cat: very tsundere. 60% dere, 40% tsun....
COMPETITION: Kousaka Kirino dumps her in the end... YAY! for me.
IN LAWS: Average
SEX: She's virgin AFAIK.
CHILDREN: The least I can think of are just two kids.
OVERALL: Highly recommended.
...a little brother should belong to his older sister, right? - Orimura Chifuyu
Professional Nerd
Name: Dr. Black Jack/ Hazama Kurou
Looks: Pretty good – as long as you're okay with horrific, extensive scarring, that is. Black Jack stepped on a land mine as a kid, and no amount of surgery is going to make it look like he didn't. Still, if you can get past the fact that he's basically stitched together from other people's parts, he doesn't look too bad.
Smarts: A bloody medical genius. Have you ever managed to cure tuberculosis with surgery? Black Jack has.
Personality: The dark, snarky sort that likes to dress like Dracula and cultivate an image as a complete rat bastard. Likes messing with people's heads and enacting vigilante justice. Values life more than anything, and will do wacky, insane things to make sure others do as well.
Cooking and Domestic Skills: Pinoko usually handles that stuff, but he lived alone before he... er, created her, so he can presumably keep a house when put up to it.
Economics: Part of his MO is charging people a shit ton of money for his services, so money won't be much of an object. Of course, the other part of his MO is forgoing the ludicrous fees he charges (which he mostly does to fuck with people) for the sake of his personal moral code, so don't be surprised if he comes home and says, “Oh hi, Honey. You know that paycheck we were expecting? Fuck it.” You'll never have to worry about health insurance, at least. Also, you'll have your own private island. Yes, really.
Fighting Skills: Inexplicably good for someone who's supposed to be a doctor rather than a ninja. Somehow he has managed to turn scalpels into shurinken.
Special Abilities: Being able to do any surgery on anything. He's operated on four people at once. He's performed surgery on ghosts and robots. He once removed a parasite from his own large intestine while simultaneously fighting dingos. There is nothing this man can not do with a scalpel.
Competition: Megumi/Kei, Pinoko, Yuri, and a few others. The thing with Yuri will probably not go anywhere, because dating your arch-nemesis's sister is never a good idea. Black Jack sees Pinoko more as a daughter than anything else, but she'll do quite a bit to undermine your relationship with him for the sake of her “husband.” As for Megumi, it's... complicated. The current status seems to be “mutually in love, but separated due to circumstances beyond their control.” You may have to deal with the fact that you'll be in second place even if you do win out.
In-Laws: He has a father and a half-sister, but has little to no contact with either of them. Pinoko's the one you have to worry about anyways, for the reasons stated above.
Sex: Well, he probably has a lot of knowledge on it. He'll probably be more methodical than forceful. Getting lectured on the importance of safe sex is also a probability.
Children: Sort of has one already, even if Pinoko doesn't really agree that she's a child. Either way, he's not too terrible with them
Overall: Honestly, he might be a bit too hard to live with for it to be worth it. Just because he's a stupidly awesome surgeon doesn't mean he'd be a stupidly awesome husband.
edited 26th Sep '11 5:55:29 PM by Sparkysharps
"If there's a hole, it's a man's job to thrust into it!" — Ryoma Nagare, New Getter Robo
つ ◕_◕ ༽つ HELIX
HELL YEAH, THIS IS BACK!
NAME: Azai Gonzou
LOOKS: He looks like a badass. No, that's basically what he looks like. Easier to just see for yourself.
◊
SMARTS: Smart. Can lead organized crime, outdo criminal masterminds and uses cunning logic in addition to Yakuza brute force to achieve his means. Not really relevant most of the time though. Seriously, it's like asking a Lion to a chess match and getting your face clawed off.
PERSONALITY: Ambitious. He is unconcerned with "Yakuza honour" and acts purely on a drive for money and power. If that means killing some cattle along the way, sure why not.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Uhh.... It's possible he has some but I somehow can't imagine Gonzou going around in a kitchen wearing an apron.
ECONOMICS: He's a Yakuza boss. He's rich. Not that he'd spare much for family. You'd be expected to earn your own money. Bad things may happen if you rely on him too much. That said, if you do earn your keep, then you may have a place doing business with him for a while. Note, business, not relationship.
FIGHTING SKILLS: How good is a Lion at fighting?
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: He might feel the urge to dump you as soon as he sucks all the use out of you.
COMPETITION: None. For good reason.
IN LAWS: Has a daughter with an ex-wife. She happens to be a world-class figure skater. Adopted son is kind of ****ing terrified of him but he's pretty cool.
SEX: Look at him. What kind of sex do you expect?
CHILDREN: One highly talented child, or twins. That's as far as you get until he dumps you.
OVERALL: No. Just don't. No matter how amazing the sex might be, the benifits of having a Yakuza leader as a husband don't outweigh the... risks...
I'm glasses.
Hey, I remember this'un! I think I will do one of the same ones that I remember doing last time, although it undoubtedly won't be as good.
NAME: Haruhi Fujioka
LOOKS: Quite attractive, but given that she can pass for a bishonen, in an androgynous way. Not much in the chest department if you're into that, but is definitely still capable of looking quite feminine. She doesn't tend to put too much effort into her appearance, but luckily she does have a natural beauty. Just don't be surprised if she doesn't look beautiful every day.
SMARTS: She's attending Ouran High based on a rather extreme scholarship - she has to be at the top of the class or else she gets the boot. So she kind of would have to be sharp as a tack, and she is. However, her smarts aren't only book-smarts: She also has an abundance of common sense, which she puts to good use.
PERSONALITY: Extremely down-to-earth and practical. This is where her personality strengths and weaknesses really stem from. On the plus side, she's warmhearted, easy to make friends with, clever, helpful, industrious, and almost fearless, but on the negative side her practical nature can sometimes blind her to the feelings of others, and her warm heart is often disguised by how difficult she is to impress and her impatience with stupidity (real or perceived). Her fearlessness can also get her into situations she has a hard time getting out of without someone's help, so you may be required to bail her out of really sticky situations at times - although for the most part she can take care of herself.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: After her mom died, she ended up doing all the cooking and cleaning for her dad, so she's quite skilled in this area. Don't expect her to do all of those things for you just because you want her to, though; you're going to have to bear some of the burden as well.
ECONOMICS: Although she attends a school for rich kids, she comes from common stock. If you have to pinch pennies and cut coupons to get by, she'll be extremely helpful. That said, she's studying to become a lawyer, and they tend to make a lot of money, so you might not have too many financial troubles after all unless some unexpected problem comes up. Since all her friends are impossibly wealthy, though, even considering a lawyer's salary you might find yourself experiencing a lot of envy for their ritzy lifestyles. Then again, they're nice rich kids for the most part and so would probably not mind occasionally having you over as guests and sharing hospitality. They might also donate money if you're in a really tough financial situation, although Haruhi's pride may prevent her from accepting it.
FIGHTING SKILLS: Practically nonexistent.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: Looks good in a suit. Not too hung up about gender issues.
COMPETITION: As everyone at Ouran High except a select few believes she's a boy, half the girls in school are in love with her. A large chunk of the boys who know the truth about her have crushes on her as well. These people are largely too timid to speak up, though, or just don't know her well enough to count. Your real competition is probably Tamaki, who is, albeit totally obliviously, completely gaga over her and will get extremely jealous if you go out with her. That said, he's incompetent enough that any plan he tries to make to break you up would backfire, and plus he's a decent enough guy that he'll probably concede eventually.
IN LAWS: She lives with her dad, who is extremely overprotective of her. You'll have to pass muster with him to be with her, and his standards are quite high. That said, if Haruhi really loves you, she'll probably tell her father that it's her own damn business who she chooses to marry. And if he takes a shine to you, you'll be in for an extremely caring father-in-law.
Oh, he's also a drag queen. But that's not important.
SEX: Doesn't know a lot about romance, and other than the textbook details probably almost nothing about sex. Doesn't seem to have a high sex drive, but may turn out to be surprisingly sensual if a romantic element is involved. It's something you'll have figure out as you go along.
CHILDREN: She's extremely good with children (and pseudo-children). She treats them very kindly and doesn't talk down to them or disregard their opinion just because they're children, but she's also not afraid to employ tough love if the situation calls for it. All in all, she'd make loving and nurturing parent, following in the footsteps of her own mom.
OVERALL: It'll be no easy feat to woo her, but if you succeed, it'll be worth the effort, and if you fail, there will probably be no hard feelings between the two of you, and you can still be friends. All in all, if you're feeling up to it, go for it, as even if you fail the time you spend with her probably will improve your life.
edited 26th Sep '11 12:29:45 AM by Sporkaganza
Always, somewhere, someone is fighting for you. As long as you remember them, you are not alone.
intellectual rapist
NAME: Erika Furudo of Umineko no Naku Koro ni
LOOKS: Goth-loli
SMARTS: INTELLECTUAL RAPIST
PERSONALITY: INTELLECTUAL RAPIST
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: INTELLECTUAL RAPIST
FIGHTING SKILLS: INTELLECTUAL RAPIST
SEX: INTELLECTUAL RAPIST
OVERALL: This game will not have a happy ending.
edited 26th Sep '11 7:09:43 AM by CommanderObvious
This level of trolling is reasonable for Commander Obvious. What do you think of this, everyone?
Professional Nerd
(Who wants to bet that I'll end up doing the entire Tiger And Bunny cast?)
Barnaby Brooks Jr.
Looks: Fantastic, as long as you aren't hung up on his Farrah Fawcett hair.
Smarts: Very good. If he didn't have a bad case of the dead parents, he'd be a scientist rather than a superhero.
Personality: Complicated. He might not be the trolling, icy Bitch in Sheep's Clothing he was before he met Kotetsu, but he still has some issues to work out, especially since Maverick's fucked with his memory six ways 'til Sunday. While he's a much sweeter person now, and in fact gets almost obsessively loyal to the rare person that manages to win him over, he still has absolutist perceptions of trust, difficulty in forming significant relationships with others, a grand total of one hobby (listening to classical music – alone), and a number of quirks that will make you wonder if he has OCPD.
Cooking and Domestic Skills: His cooking skills are unknown, though he has recently been learning to make fried rice (no, not for you. For Kotetsu. We'll talk about that in a minute). As for cleaning, he's very anal about waste and clutter – hence the nearly empty apartment. The problem isn't whether he can pick up after himself so much as whether you can.
Economics: It's unlikely that you'll ever run out of money. You will, however, have to expect Barnaby to randomly cancel dates and vacations for the sake of his job. And, no, you will never persuade him not to be a superhero. He's going to be one as long as Kotetsu is, and the only way Kotetsu's going to let go of his job is if you pry it from his cold, dead hands.
Also, he has modeling contracts on the side, so don't be surprised when you open a magazine and find your husband nearly naked and making love to the camera.
Fighting Skills: Excellent, even without the use of his powers or his bitchin' robot suit.
Special Abilities: Hundred Power allows him to enhance all of his physical abilities for five minutes every hour. He also knows something about defusing bombs.
Competition: Kotetsu. Will he be romantic competition? They are so married Who knows. He is, however, the single most important thing in Barnaby's life, and that's probably not going to change any time soon. You will always be second. Deal with it.
Also, raging fangirls. Everywhere.
In-laws: HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD. No significant relatives or guardians otherwise unless you count Maverick casually inserting himself into Barnaby's live via Fake Memories implant, but he's dead anyways.
Sex: Almost certainly a virgin. He's been too single-mindedly set on revenge for his dead parents to consider things like sex and romance. As for what to expect for the first time, if his OCPD tendencies show up here too, he's probably got everything planned out down to the brand of condom he'll use.
Children: Barnaby didn't have much of a childhood himself, so he doesn't have past experience to go on. He'll inevitably ask Kotetsu for help, which may or may not be a good idea. Of course, given his hatred of waste, a child will no doubt drive him crazy, at least at the start.
Overall: He still needs a bit of polishing before he's ready for prime-time. If you're willing to work at it, however, he's likely to be worth it. He'll even learn how to cook your favorite food, just for you.
"If there's a hole, it's a man's job to thrust into it!" — Ryoma Nagare, New Getter Robo
The future of warfare in UC.
Handling Signum so Aki doesn't have to. (Though that'd look radically different I expect.)
NAME: Signum (Yagami?)
LOOKS: Definitely somewhat exotic. (It's the pink hair.) Generally attractive. Runner's physique for the most part, slim but strong, however noticeably busty if that's your thing.
SMARTS: Probably significant. Areas of expertise are limited, however, and she is aware of this. Will tend to defer to others of demonstrated knowledge on the theory that there is wisdom in knowing you are not wise.
PERSONALITY: A normal personality restrained by careful consideration. Loyalty to a fault if earned, though going about earning such loyalty is a significant task. Generally undemonstrative so you'll have to learn to read her (not easy).
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Unknown, presumably somewhat lacking as she does not participate normally. She shows concern for the cleanliness of her personal space but has demonstrated little overall domestic impulse.
ECONOMICS: Depends on the applicability of her skills. As long as there's a market for fencing instructors or even unarmed combat she will doubtless be highly regarded. She will support herself but is unlikely to support a partner as well.
FIGHTING SKILLS: Superb. Seriously. A few hundred years of practice (possibly thousands). Been there and done that doesn't even begin to cover Signum's familiarity with combat. Probably the best method of coming to her attention is to simply excel when pitted against her in mock combat: not win (winning is doubtful), but do well enough to impress.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: Signum is not exactly human. This has little noticeable bearing on her needs and behaviors. It does mean a lack of apparent aging, far better physical strength and endurance then her body type would indicate. There's also the whole Nanoha-verse flight mage bit, which means she can essentially go Flying Brick on demand and blow up buildings.
COMPETITION: Unknown. Hyperactive imaginations have posited at least three competing figures but evidence of actual interest on their part, much less effort, is nonexistent. On the other hand she's fairly talented, attractive, and smart, so the existence of some form of competition is almost a given.
IN LAWS: The Wolkenritter and Hayate Yagami. Do not allow them to think Signum's feeling trapped or is otherwise being hurt by the relationship unless you want a beating you will never forget, much less survive. If they think she's happy with it they will move heaven and earth for you.
SEX: Direct evidence thin to nonexistent. Circumstantial evidence points to significant and unwilling experience. Possibly quite skilled but if so acquired that skill in an unwelcome way. Be careful. Take it slow. Any sort of domineering behavior (much less actual fetishistic stuff in that line) is going to cause serious problems.
CHILDREN: Difficult to say. Considering her not-really-human nature, it's possible or even likely she's sterile, so adoption is probably necessary. Might or might not be a good mother, it depends on what works with the child.
OVERALL: A relationship will be difficult to establish and a romantic one doubly so. It, will, however, be easy to maintain, and probably worthwhile for someone who seeks an equal partner.
Nous restons ici.
NAME: Izaya Orihara (Probably the worst person you can ever end up marrying.)
LOOKS: Basic pretty boy. May or may not be anorexic.
SMARTS: High.
PERSONALITY: A total asshole. Often acts playfully and flamboyant.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: That's Namie's job. I doubt he has any.
ECONOMICS: He somehow appears to be stinking rich. Some of that money was probably obtained through illegal means.
FIGHTING SKILLS: If he can somehow cause a store sign to fall down with nothing but switchblades, I'd assume he's above average.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: He's a Jerkass that loves humans. Most of Ikebukuro wants to throw him off a bridge.
COMPETITION: He manages to get plenty of in-story fangirls despite being an ass. And if the subtext between him and Shizuo and Shinra mean anything...
IN LAWS: A pair of Creepy Twins and two parents who are reportedly normal.
SEX: According to some of the rumors of him in Ikebukuro, he's an easy lay. But with the whole "I treat all humans equally" thing, he could be a virgin for all I know.
CHILDREN: I shudder at how they'd turn out.
OVERALL: Definitely a bad idea, but goddamn he's hot.
Don't mind me. I'm just a creepy little lurker.
@Sparkysharps, I dunno, someone might snipe you on Scarf-tan while you're working your way down the list. Also, there's a typo in Blackjack's special attributes: that should be "with a scalpel."
Professional Nerd
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
NO. SCARF-TAN IS MINE.
Nah, just kidding I'm not claiming a monopoly on any of them, really... Well, no one except Agnes. Just broadcasting my likely future AMP posts.
Also, fixed the typo.
"If there's a hole, it's a man's job to thrust into it!" — Ryoma Nagare, New Getter Robo
つ ◕_◕ ༽つ HELIX
NAME: Ladd Russo
LOOKS: As he says himself, tall, handsome, and just a little bit fat. He's definitely on the good looking side and he looks best in white with red splashes.
SMARTS: Above average. He can indeed make plans and can listen to reason every so often. It's just that his urges take priority over his plans so he often makes changes on the fly.
PERSONALITY: Psychotic demented bastard. But he damn well enjoys himself while doing what he does so its hard not to feel some enjoyment watching him. The people he enjoys killing the most are those who never expect it. Also, if he wants to kill you last, that means he loves you.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Unlikely. Unless he enjoys the act of killing fruits and vegetables and serving them up.
ECONOMICS: He's in the Russo family. Cash is not an issue.
FIGHTING SKILLS: One of the best hitmen in the states. He can take down a couple of guys with machine guns using his bare hands. He enjoys boxing apparantly and is also apt with guns. Yes, he loves guns. Machine guns are even better.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: Have I mentioned he enjoys talking a lot and killing a lot?
COMPETITION: Lua, his fiancee. It'll be tough getting between the two as she wants to die and Ladd will never let anyone other than himself kill her. In any other relationship sense, this would not be relevant but it is here. If you get Ladd to REALLY want to kill you, he might change his mind and go with you. Or he'll just try to kill you.
IN LAWS: Has an uncle. Who hates him.
SEX: Unknown, though it's likely that he'd talk through the whole thing and then kill a few people during the act.
CHILDREN: None
OVERALL: If you want to die, sure, Ladd might have a spot for you. There's just the problem of his fiancee. You have a chance if you piss him off enough. He'll either want to kill you so much that he'd marry you, or he'll want to kill you so much that he'd kill you.
Secret Character
Uh... How many Waifu and Husbando can you post?
...a little brother should belong to his older sister, right? - Orimura Chifuyu
つ ◕_◕ ༽つ HELIX
As many as you like.
Secret Character
Oh ok:
NAME: Misaka Mokoto
LOOKS: Average. Tomboyish.
SMARTS: Very academic and has street-smarts too. Can you say "yankee scholar ojou-sama"?
PERSONALITY: Tomboyish and stingy. But has a cute side and is actually a 50/50 tsundere.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Can actually cook and is gentle with kids.
ECONOMICS: She's more adventurous
FIGHTING SKILLS: Average. She spams lightning and railguns.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: She's a walking battery. Expect tons of electric and magnetic attacks.
COMPETITION: Touma is a Harem Hero so expect hard competition.
IN LAWS: Both scary and fun to be with.
SEX: If ever the doujins about having sex with her is true, expect it to be erotic and fun at the same time.
CHILDREN: Maybe one or two.
OVERALL: She's awesome, cute and fun to be with if you win her heart. A highly recommendable girl.
edited 26th Sep '11 10:13:53 PM by djmaca
...a little brother should belong to his older sister, right? - Orimura Chifuyu
Professional Nerd
Looks: Sex on legs. French sex on legs. The worst you can say is that she goes a little heavy on the eyeshadow.
Smarts: Quite good. She'd have to be able to hold onto her job after publicly and gleefully exposing her boss as a supervillian.
Personality: Aaaand we hit our first road bump. A big road bump. Agnes is basically an asshole, pure and simple. Oh, she probably has a heart somewhere down there, but you'll have to dig pretty deep.
Cooking and Domestic Skills: Unknown. The most she's shown in this direction is dropping of baby supplies for Kotetsu and Barnaby. Probably eats out and hires outside help for housekeeping.
Economics: As the producer of Hero TV, it's highly unlikely that you'll be hurting for cash anytime soon – and she appears to have amazing job security (see above spoiler). Of course, the real problem here is that she'll probably be more interested in the job than you... Yes, in that way
Fighting Skills: None. However, her job basically consists of pointing superheroes to something that needs to be punched and filming it, so it's hard to call her helpless.
Special Abilities: None.
Competition: Your biggest competition isn't a person, but the Neilsen ratings system. Yes, really. Also, Antonio has a crush on her but, given his track record, he's hopeless. She has at least some superficial attraction to Barnaby, but that's probably it.
In-Laws: None, at least that which we know of.
Sex: Will probably involve stock quotes as foreplay.
Children: Probably unlikely. The most she's done in the child-rearing department is delegate the task to Kotetsu and buy him some diapers.
Overall: More likely to earn a memorable spot as “that evil ex-girlfriend” than your wife, but you could try for a fling.
edited 27th Sep '11 12:29:42 AM by Sparkysharps
"If there's a hole, it's a man's job to thrust into it!" — Ryoma Nagare, New Getter Robo
Just wondering
NAME: Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière
LOOKS: Beautiful, by all accounts. However, given her youth, her body type and her childish personality, you'd be forgiven for feeling slightly uncomfortable being attracted to her.
SMARTS: Difficult to say. Too bright and headstrong to accept a Stay in the Kitchen role, and probably well educated given her background, but... not the most rational of people.
PERSONALITY: Ah. Look.... Louise is a person who has proved repeatedly capable of remarkable acts of bravery, loyalty, and self sacrifice, and is a good person deep down. Really, really, really deep down. Unfortunately, getting between you and said good person are years and years of being raised a member of an arrogant, callous Magocracy, being constantly denigrated for her lack of magical talents, and having a less than understanding family. Add that together and you get someone with a massive sense of entitlement, deep seated insecurity and a barely controlled violent temper. She will probably treat you like a slave if you're not noble born, and will have no issues with violently attacking a 'commoner' for any percieved or real sleight or error. Even if she does see you as a social equal, she'll be aloof, snappy and rude unless she has a specific reason to trust you. In short; can be sweet, but good look drilling through layers of Tsundere-gone-mad psychobitch to find that out.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Probably nonexistent, accustomed to servants performing such tasks.
ECONOMICS: Despite not being the favored daughter, her noble birth means money isn't a problem She disowns her family at one point, but this is shortly followed by her becoming an adopted member of the royal family of her nation. Boo-yah.
FIGHTING SKILLS: Pretty much none, unless Agnes has been working with her. A Squishy Wizard.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: Patchy. A quasi-legendary void mage, at her peak she is a walking tac nuke with a nice line in support spells and counter magic. On the other, her powers are unreliable, and her lengthy casting times mean Louise needs protection to do anything useful.
COMPETITION: Saito, Saito, Saito, resident Trapped in Another World idiot hero, and Louise's bound familiar and love interest. On the one hand, more likely to express any jealousy he feels by sulking rather than with violent retribution, which is good considering hes a One-Man Army when in form. But the real problem is not sudden decapitation, but the more mundane issue that you don't stand a chance. Saito and Louise are pretty damn devoted to each other in their worrying, screwed-up way. And in case that didn't put you off, there's the kicker that they're already freaking married, though good luck getting either to admit that it happened.
IN LAWS: Oh lord. See 'personality': with the exception of the saintly eldest sister, all the worst bits of Louise come from her family. The arrogance, the snobbery, the casual attitude to violence as a discipline tool, they're all here, only worse. To top it off, they occasionally have over compensatory surges of Mama Bear rage, and mother is a retired one woman army. Good luck.
SEX: Probably a virgin, but there have been hints Louise is nowhere near as chaste or prudish as she likes to pretend. Be warned, circumstantial evidence suggests she likes to play rough, and you will be bottoming the vast, vast majority of the time.
CHILDREN: I don't even want to think about it. I mean, she'd probably go there for tradition's sake, but how things would end up....
OVERALL: You don't have a shot. This is a good thing. Stay away.
edited 27th Sep '11 6:49:19 AM by KillerRabbit
They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams for an instant, then it's night once more
I've never really partaken in anything like this before, and I'm worried I may be breaking the rules by using characters from a series as old as Ranma One Half, but... something for the girls and something for the guys, Ranma Saotome himself and Shampoo.
NAME: Ranma Saotome
LOOKS: Definately attractive; perhaps not Bishōnen material, but the ladies all confess they like his looks. Lean and toned, an acrobat's build — which implies he may be on the short side. Female form is definately gorgeous; short but stacked, and curvy where his male form is leanly muscular.
SMARTS: Pretty intelligent and crafty, but it seems to be more street smarts, intuition and cunning. He's quick to turn to books when he needs information, but doesn't express much interest in schoolwork. He's definately no dummy, though, and he is very good at making up plans when he needs them and as he needs them.
PERSONALITY: Ranma's a... complicated character. He's a weird mix of positive and negative traits; smart and yet impulsive and impatient, heroic and yet abrasive and immature, selfless and yet insecure. All in all, he's very much a Jerk with a Heart of Gold, and a real diamond-in-the-rough, personalitywise. There's a very good man down there... there's just quite a few issues to work around first. He's also very closemouthed - he doesn't like sharing information about himself or his feelings.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Ranma's been on the road and fending for himself all his life, so he's at least passable with the domestic stuff. Cleaning, laundry, sewing, he can handle all of that competently, and the manga pretty heavily implies that he's a Neat Freak — in the anime, while it's not quite that bad, he does keep all of his belongings in a bag, packed and ready to go at the drop of a hat, at all times. He's also a very good cook — his mother, a Yamato Nadeshiko, was so impressed with his skills that she immediately proclaimed he would be an excellent catch (true, she thought he was a girl at the time, but the food tasted great all the same) — but he's shy about using his skills. Convince him it's okay (or at least neccessary) for him to help out with the cooking and housework, and he's quite a helper.
ECONOMICS: Really not the sort of guy you want to trust with the money. He's used to living on just about nothing, and while it has taught him to be stingy and miserly with his money, there's no sign he's otherwise very good at managing it or making it. He does have marketable skills, but he's not really evidenced any desire to get a job.
FIGHTING SKILLS: Incredible. This guy has been through Training from Hell since he could walk, and it shows. He's got Super-Strength, Super-Toughness, Super-Speed, a "realistic" (no regrowing limbs) Healing Factor and Awesomeness by Analysis, and is one of the most powerful fighters of his generation. There's no concrete numbers given, but he can lift multiple tons, punch through steel like it was tinfoil, move faster than the eye can follow, shakes off multi-ton impacts like nothing, can fight on despite multiple bone fractures, heal broken bones in about a week, and figure out the weakpoints of an enemy's attack (or how to pull off himself) on the fly.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: Ranma has a Baleful Polymorph curse that makes him a Gender Bender. For those of you who may be thinking of the Power Perversion Potential; forget it. Ranma may flirt and tease, but he's heterosexual and a homophobe; he's got no interest in being with guys and he would probably run a mile from a girl who wanted to be with his girl form. Ranma's also got a crippling fear of cats - prolonged exposure can even induce a fear-based version of Unstoppable Rage; he's not a person you should be interested in if you're a cat lover.
COMPETITION: Considerable. There are three girls after him (Kodachi Kuno, Shampoo, Ukyo Kuonji) who are willing to use dirty tricks, mind control, Zany Schemes, magic, and outright violence against a competitor. There's also a fourth girl, Akane Tendo, who Ranma is attracted to (if maybe not sure he loves), but she is too much of a Tsundere to violently fight off a competitor the way that the other three are. Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome will also oppose the match due to their insistence that Ranma must wed Akane - Genma can perhaps be bought off, though Soun Tendo is really too much of a wuss to do anything more than try to bully Ranma into staying away from you.
IN LAWS: ...Awful. Firstly, there's Ranma's father, Genma. A Dirty Coward, lazy bastard, petty thief, repeated abuser of his son, impulsive, shortsighted, and an all-around buffoon. He will try and oppose you at first, and if won over, will basically try to lounge around being a freeloader and disappearing when trouble he's provoked comes a'calling. Fortunately, he and Ranma don't get on too well, so it should be easy to get Ranma to side with you in hoiking Genma out on his ass to find somewhere else to bum off. Make sure that you let it be known that Genma has no authority to do things in your name, and that you are not responsible for his crimes.
Next, there's Happosai; fortunately, it's quite unlikely he'll show up much to bother you. If he does, unfortunately, he's both a Dirty Old Man AND an Old Master, meaning he will not only be obsessed with peeping on you, stealing your underwear and molesting you (and likewise harassing Ranma, until/unless you manage to find a cure for Jusenkyo), he's too damn powerful a fighter for you to have much of a chance of forcing him to behave. The best way you can guarantee he will stay away is to disseminate information on his name, nature, and habits to those people around you, so the populace will realise who is behind the rash of restaurant debt-skipping and pantyraids and he cannot blackmail you into hiding his presence by feigning that you are his accomplishments. The attention won't actually do anything to him, but hopefully it'll mean he'll stay away in cooler waters where it's much less hassle to be the pervert he is.
Finally, there's Ranma's mother, Nodoka Saotome. She's the nicest of the bunch, a full-fledged Yamato Nadeshiko... however, she's also ridiculously uptight about honor and can be manipulated into doing stupid, dangerous things because of it. The whole suicide pledge, namely.
SEX: You're going to need to take the initiative and be very gentle with Ranma, physically and emotionally. He's nervous, almost certainly a virgin, and somewhat emotionally scarred - sex terrifies him, but if you can show him it's not so bad, he'll probably learn to enjoy it. As for actual capabilities... Supernatural Martial Arts plus Power Perversion Potential.
CHILDREN: It will be a while before he's willing to consider the idea, but he'd probably be okay with kids. He'd need to be coaxed into the matter, though, as he knows very well he doesn't have a very good knowledge of what being a father entails and he wouldn't wish a childhood as messed up as his own on any kids.
OVERALL: A very hard man to get to know, nevermind romance, but if you are willing to devote the time and energy, he could be quite a catch.
NAME: Shampoo
LOOKS: Pretty cute, especially if you like the Chinese Girl look. Long flowing hair, smooth features, big eyes, and very generously stacked for someone of her age.
SMARTS: Hard to say. High side of average, probably. She can be impulsive, childish and ditzy, but she is nowhere near as dumb as she may look; she's quite cunning and adept with concocting plans. Definately do not underestimate her intelligence. Often mistaken for a bimbo due to her emotional nature and the fact she has an atrocious accent.
PERSONALITY: Reports are a little conflicted, but... First and foremost, she's ruthless; she will do anything it takes to fulfil her current goal. However, she's also fiercely loyal and very dedicated, especially to a man she has chosen - she's willing to fight her own flesh and blood for a man she belives is "the one", to the death if need be. However, she expects her chosen mate to be loyal and faithful to her in return, making her prone to violently reacting against perceived threats to her relationship and willing to punish him if he does get out of hand. She prefers headgames and tricks to violence as disciplinary method with her chosen mate, but she can sometimes, on relatively rare occasions, get violent - this is most likely if she's currently fighting another girl over him. She can quite selfish as well, and childish, but she's also cheerful, bubbly, optimistic and a romantic. She's very happy to do whatever she can to make her loved one happy.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: She's quite good at domestic chores, and very happy to show them off in order to impress or care for her chosen love interest. She primarily works as a waitress and delivery girl at the Chinese Restaurant she lives at, but it's implied she's also a pretty good cook.
ECONOMICS: Again, she's a waitress and a delivery girl; presumably she's fairly adept at handling money.
FIGHTING SKILLS: Quite good. Shampoo may pale in comparison to the likes of, say, Ranma Saotome, but she's still a champion practitioner of Supernatural Martial Arts. She's fast enough that someone like Akane Tendo can't avoid her blows, strong and tough enough to walk headlong through brick walls, and has a very versatile arsenal of tricks, including pressure points, unarmed combat, maces, swords, bows, and other tricks.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: Shampoo has a poor spoken grasp of the language, but is eloquent in her native tongue. Shampoo also has a Baleful Polymorph curse that turns her into a cat when splashed with cold water.
COMPETITION: Firstly, there's the fact that Shampoo is both honorbound by her tribal laws to wed Ranma Saotome and the fact she's sincerely head over heels for him. Next, her great-grandmother supports her match to wed Ranma. Most importantly, there's the Stalker with a Crush, Mousse, who refuses to let Shampoo's repeatedly stated disdain for him stop him from trying to frighten off or even kill potential rivals.
IN LAWS: Cologne is an Old Master, and she does have a protective instinct for her great-granddaughter, but she's cool-headed, calm, thoughtful, and willing to stand back and let her descendent make her own mistakes. The manga also says that he has a father, but he's such a background character it's hard to say what he's like — there is a videogame that portrays him as both a very skilled fighter and a loving father who will tolerate a lot, but wants his daughter to be happy more than anything.
SEX: Wild and uninhibited - Shampoo isn't perpetually horny or always throwing herself at the guy she likes, but she's quite happy with her body, comfortable with her looks, and very willing to share all that she has with her chosen lover. Most likely she'd be very willing to experiment and enjoy it on a very regular basis. She's a major intimacy nut, and always wants to hold hands, cuddle or snuggle, even in public.
CHILDREN: She's definately going to want at least one or two, and probably a large family. Precisely what sort of mother she would make is hard to say; the most likely traits are that she would be fiercely protective of them and prone to spoiling them.
OVERALL: Diamond in the rough material, here. She's a Jerk with a Heart of Gold - you just have to decide if the heart of gold is big enough to warrant the energy in digging it out.
つ ◕_◕ ༽つ HELIX
I think I'm in love.
NAME: Konoe Subaru
LOOKS: When crossdressing, looks like a sharply dressed butler and handsome enough to have a KKK-like fanclub comprised of the majority of the girls in the school. When not crossdressing, is cute enough to win a beauty contest. She is very pretty. VERY PRETTY.
SMARTS: Around average. As a butler who has to rescue her mistress from various hostage situations, she can quickly think her way through it, but she can be a bit dim in real-life situations. Depends on her mistress for planning and orders.
PERSONALITY: An open-minded girl. Doesn't hide her feelings but is too shy to talk about them outright. Devoted and needs lots of companionship along the way to help her along. Is pretty much an average teenage girl when not being a butler. When she's being a butler, she stays professional. It's a job after all.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Little. She'll try her very best to take care of you as your butler, but you shouldn't let her. She tends to get carried away and will likely injure you more than help you. As long as you keep her away from the kitchen, she'll help you out with general household needs perfectly well.
ECONOMICS: Unknown. Living as a butler in someone else's house her entire life, she's likely never managed a considerable sum of money on her own. There's no problem though, since her mistress will provide any and all needs for her.
FIGHTING SKILLS: Super-human. Can dodge cars, easily defeat the daughter of the world's most famous female wrestler, run at super speed, etc, etc. She doesn't have the chance to show it off very often but she's very capable of defeating anyone who she feels is threatening her or her mistress.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: She's forced to live as a guy for her high-school life. So you'd be keeping her gender a secret for a while, at least until she graduates. Also, there's the fact that she's keeping watch over her mistress at all times unless special circumstances arise. You better get along with her mistress too.
COMPETITION: Kinjiro Sakamachi. If he touches a woman, he'll get a nosebleed so you automatically have an advantage over him there. He is very close to Konoe though, so you'll have a tough time between those two. Also, half the female fanbase in her school WILL ACTIVELY HUNT YOU DOWN AND ATTEMPT TO KILL YOU. The other half will promote your Ho Yay, even if it's not actually that.
IN LAWS: Her father. Overprotective, clingy and also a superhuman butler. He will try to murder you if you get too close to his daughter. Fortunately, Konoe will defend you against him. You'd also have to deal with Kanade Suzutsuki's family, but they'd likely be much more open than her father.
SEX: She's quite open to the idea. As long as you have a solid base of friendship and trust, and a bit more added on top. She's very devoted and you'll have to win her over first, but it's implied that it will be amazing.
CHILDREN: She's probably open to the idea, but considering she's still in high school, it'd be best to wait a while.
OVERALL: She needs more friends and it's not too hard to get close to her. As long as you're close and get along reasonably well with her mistress, you'll probably end up living happily ever after.
LOVE WINS
I remember lurking in the old thread before. The pillow, the mecha, the lamp post... good times.
NAME: Ichijou Festival
LOOKS: Identified as female by her creator. She is a mikan box of rectangular shape of unknown measurements but has been shown to change size on occasion. She has blue markings with an image of a tangerine on one side.
SMARTS: Unknown but being a black hole capable of swallowing anything, it can be assumed to be able acquire information upon swallowing anything.
PERSONALITY: Has been shown to be nostalgic when it comes to her birthplace even risking the destruction of the Earth just to return. However, she is also gullible enough to be manipulated to stop from destroying the Earth and then manipulated into doing so anyway.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: She is a "house" herself capable of providing "shelter" but also is capable of "cleaning" herself. She can also "clean" her surroundings. Her cooking skills, however, are unknown.
ECONOMICS: Generally unknown but... 1. Swallow all banks 2. ??? 3. PROFIT!
FIGHTING SKILLS: BLACK HOLE
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: She is capable of absorbing high amounts of energy aside from being able to swallow anything. It was also shown that she can summon hordes of giant laser firing knife monsters as well as a giant monster eye. Inside her, you may find remains of civilizations she has swallowed. She can also bring about your inner most desire as long as your inside her. Also, there is a small shrine with Lord Cat in it.
COMPETITION: None that are known. Although, Lord Cat does live inside her but he is not much of a threat
IN LAWS: Ichijou Festival's creator, Ichijou, who may interfere with the relationship however, she may also not do so. It is hard to tell what she will do.
SEX: Ever tried doing it with a box? (Un)Fortunately, this one comes with a hole. Oh, and she can change her size.
CHILDREN: You may have to ask science whether it is even possible. If you somehow managed to break the laws of reality, well, children have been known to play with boxes.
OVERALL: Sanity is your only hindrance ![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
edited 8th Dec '11 1:14:56 AM by MarquisDev
"If music be the food of love, PLAY ON" - William Shakespeare
Joining the Team.doc
you guys are weird.
Teens dress as Batman to catch pedophiles; cops not impressed
I'm glasses.
Um, I'm assuming by KKK you mean the Kaede fanclub and not the guys in the sheets?
Boo fucking hoo. Go take your whining somewhere else please.
NAME: Akemi Homura
LOOKS: Tall, Dark and Bishoujo - for a 13-year-old, anyway. Do you like purple? I hope you like purple.
SMARTS: Above average. At the very least, she knows literally everything a middle-schooler is required to know.
PERSONALITY: Seemingly cold, but with a warm heart beating underneath. Nearly always single-minded to the point of tunnel vision; will care about one thing to the exclusion of everything else. Probably also has PTSD. In short, one hell of a Broken Bird.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Doubtful she has any.
ECONOMICS: Mahou shoujo are not known for getting paid well. No benefits, either. Especially not here. Will not be able to get a job in service, as she has zero people skills. Maybe could be an engineer? Anyway, yeah. You're gonna have to get a job.
FIGHTING SKILLS: Has a power to stop ZA WARUDO with her freeze ray. Also likes guns, guns and more guns. If that fails, even more guns. Eventually she runs out of power, though. After the world is remade, she can... shoot bows and arrows. But you know, magically. So probably still pretty powerful I guess?
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: Looks good in a magical girl outfit. Really 700 Years Old due to "Groundhog Day" Loop shenanigans.
COMPETITION: Madoka Kaname. Homura is completely devoted to her. It might be platonic, but more likely it's incredibly, achingly romantic. You know the kind of love where you love someone so much that it hurts to breathe, to think, to exist? Homura probably loves Madoka more than that. You have no chance.
IN LAWS: Never mentioned or seen. Presumably exist, but Homura has slipped through the cracks of society, so it's doubtful you'll ever meet them.
SEX: Probably will want to hold off on it as long as possible, then when it finally takes place it will be really, really good. (No, I'm not going to make a joke about the Perverted Homura meme.)
CHILDREN: Based on a single example from the last episode of the series, I guess maybe she's okay with them? Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna say maybe she's pretty good with kids. Can't have any, though.
OVERALL: A nice person deep down - but probably not to you. Besides, unless you're Madoka, you don't have a snowball's chance in Hell. Even if you do manage to somehow worm your way into her heart, she's a serious ball of issues, and there are probably too many external factors that will put strain on the relationship. Forget it. That way, it's easier for me to keep her all to myself!
edited 8th Dec '11 2:25:38 AM by Sporkaganza
Always, somewhere, someone is fighting for you. As long as you remember them, you are not alone.
Until further notice
Eh... Why not. (Of course the character in question is not, in fact, Mai Waifu, but this looks fun to play along with.)
NAME: Motoko Kusanagi (A.K.A "The Major") Likely a pseudonym, and her real name is unknown.
LOOKS: Remarkably good-looking, with purple hair, red eyes, and probably the best figure money can buy. Literally. She's not shy about showing it off either.
SMARTS: She's got enough tactical skill to become field leader of Section 9, specialises in hacking and brain-diving, and knows enough philosophy to hold her own in a discussion. Definitely above-average.
PERSONALITY: Hard to tell, as she never really lets her emotions show that often. Having said that, she's the consummate professional at work, but can be quite the tease with those she's familiar with.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Maj. Kusanagi's cooking skills are never shown and potentially nonexistent - as a full-body cyborg, she doesn't need to eat, but can be seen doing so from time to time anyway. Her homes are reasonably well-maintained, though.
ECONOMICS: Earns enough to own multiple safehouses, weapons and spare bodies, in addition to repairing and maintaining 3 Tachikomas out of her own pocket. Yep, she's loaded.
FIGHTING SKILLS: Top-notch. Full cyberisation in childhood made her familiar with manipulating a body that's tough enough to fire an anti-materiel one-handed. Fights SpiderTanks and Armed Suits on a regular basis. An expert in field tactics and planning, firearms, and close combat. And if that's not enough, she can hack your cyberbrain and fry it if necessary. In short? SHE. WILL. WRECK. YOUR. SHIT.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: She's a cyborg. Duh.
COMPETITION: Well, the main contenders are the hulking ex-Ranger who's her closest confidante and the terrorist who's trying to upload people into the Internet, both of who can probably kick your ass six ways to Sunday. Good luck with that.
IN LAWS: No actual relatives known - they were presumably killed in the plane crash - but you'll have to deal with the rest of Section 9. In addition to the ex-Ranger mentioned above, you'll have to deal with a sniper, a knife-fighter, an explosives expert, an information specialist, and an ex-detective and her successor to the post of Section 9's field leader. To make matters worse, the closest father figure she has is also her section chief... who's got connections all the way up to the Prime Minister of Japan and won't hesitate to use them if necessary.
SEX: (Yes, she's most likely anatomically correct... depending on the body.) Has shown inclinations towards women, threesomes, lesbian threesomes, and young boys - let's just say she's pretty open about these sorts of things. On that note, though, if she approaches you with obvious seductive intent, it's probably a Honey Trap for her own purposes.
CHILDREN: Hopefully Tachikoma make good substitutes, because cyborgs aren't designed to reproduce.
OVERALL: ...Sorry, fanboys, she's way out of your league.
edited 8th Dec '11 4:43:03 AM by Pyrite
Not a substitute for a formal medical consultation.
◥▶◀◤
NAME: Lelouch Vi Britannia
LOOKS: Deep violet eyes, fair skin and brown hair. A Frail thin figure, and a beautiful smile.
SMARTS: Above genius, chess master in both the literal sense and the trope.
PERSONALITY: Byronic Hero / Troubled, but Cute / Male Broken Bird
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Raised as a prince until age 10 and by an ex-Nobel family after that. He's trained in cooking, cleaning, and can sew.
ECONOMICS: He helped run a student council without powers.
FIGHTING SKILLS: Next to none, but he has one mean bitch-slap.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: An evil eye that can make any human obey there every wish. but can only be used once per person.
COMPETITION: An immortal witch, a Mecha pilot, a male mecha pilot, a jealous Yandere brother, a blushy high-school girl, a loli convinced he's her husband
IN LAWS: A Dead mother and an evil emperor and he killed them both.
SEX: Is normally too self-absorbed to think about it but when he's feeling down and out he's been know to want someone to "comfort me."
CHILDREN: Has shown no interest in them.
OVERALL: Mad, Bad and dangerously ... sexy.
Rarely active, try DA/Tumblr Avatar by pippanaffie.deviantart.com
The old thread fell off the back end of the forums the last time we had a shakeup, and believe it or not, I've been asked to revive this.
The idea is that many of us have Perverse Sexual Lust for anime and manga characters, but being overanalytical fans, we sometimes wonder just how good a "waifu" or "huzbando" a particular favorite might be if that actually was possible.
So, as the creator of this thread on Usenet yea these many years ago, here's the basic form used, broken down by general categories.
NAME: LOOKS: SMARTS: PERSONALITY: COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: ECONOMICS: FIGHTING SKILLS: SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: COMPETITION: IN LAWS: SEX: CHILDREN: OVERALL:
And here's a sample reused from earlier:
NAME: Nami Hito
LOOKS: Average. However, we're talking Generic Cuteness here, so she probably looks pretty good when she dresses up and puts in the effort to look prettier. Unless you have a particular Charm Point that's a make or break deal for you, Nami is perfectly acceptable.
SMARTS: Average. Yes, she was held back a year in high school, but so was everyone else in her class, so that's normal.
PERSONALITY: Normal, including a perfectly normal desire to be a bit more special. Your telling her she's special to you might help.
COOKING AND DOMESTIC SKILLS: Presumably average. Most likely you should get used to a steady schedule of the same okay but not spectacular dishes in a predictable rotation, with an "experimental" recipe once a month or so. Likewise, the house will never be sparkling but also won't ever look neglected.
ECONOMICS: Nami will probably work at a normal job for Japanese women such as Office Lady or traffic cop until the children arrive, then become a full-time mother as is the standard for Japan. She might take up a part-time job once the kids are in school, but you're going to be the primary breadwinner.
FIGHTING SKILLS: Nonexistent. If trained, she would be an average combatant for her size and age.
SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES: None, and doesn't she know it.
COMPETITION: Nami has a perfectly normal schoolgirl crush on her homeroom teacher, but is unlikely to beat out the other girls so you can probably catch her on the rebound.
IN LAWS: Nami's parents are alive and living together; from the little we've heard of them, they're blandly average.
SEX: As far as we know, a virgin. Will be average in bed, and if you want anything unusual, you're going to have to coax her into it carefully.
CHILDREN: Will have an average number of children, who she will be a perfectly normal mother to. They may turn out just as normal as you and her, or complete weirdos in an attempt at rebellion.
OVERALL: Average. But compared to many of her classmates, that's a huge recommendation. You could do a lot worse.
Okay, let's see what you folks have, especially those of you who were asking for this thread to be necro'd.