"See, he was running a video store before Vince (McMahon)
let him write for the magazine...He can't spell.
He can't write or speak English! He 'grew up in Brooklyn n' da Bronx or whateva' — I'm looking at the guy's pad: he can't spell, okay? It's not like he's a goddamn Rhodes scholar...So he's writing for the magazine. He insinuates himself. He's got good ideas. He has good ideas at a time when they need
good ideas. And, you know, I'm not saying he's never had any good ideas. But you know what the problem is? The problem is that all the good ideas he's ever had is from watching those goddamn, cheap-ass B-movies
that they used to rent at his goddamn loser video store. He doesn't know anything about wrestling. That's why when you hear 'ding ding ding!', it's immediately followed 60 seconds later by 'ding ding ding!' Keep the matches as short as possible. When that bell rings, Vince Russo is lost. Vince Russo is a babe in the woods. Vince Russo is a deer caught in the headlights, as long as there's a wrestling match going on. As long as he can make it a phony B-movie script or an outhouse in the ring
, or women having miscarriages
, or something that appeals to his New York bullshit attitude. So get the wrestling matches
outta there, 'cause nobody wants to see that shit anyway. That's been proven over at WCW
, where they don't even have wrestling matches anymore— I watched Thunder
the other night, because I happened to be stuck in a hotel room, and I saw Lance Storm
stumbling around like a drunk man. When you make that
guy uncoordinated, you can do it to anybody
...He's got a bunch of fucking dancing bears parading around in the ring, a bunch of women with silicone, and a bunch of club-footed, slap-happy fucking guys that couldn't work their way out of a wet paper bag. And he don't know the fucking difference. And he's out there beating up Ric Flair with a baseball bat!
Because he finally got to be a star.
Now he doesn't have to subsist on the internet marks
fuckin' clapping for him. He can have the fucking roar of their (dwindling) crowds, going, "ooh, that's uhh—yeah, that Russo guy.' He's a star now! He beats the wrestlers!
He made this statement: 'Well, we'll just teach actors to wrestle, because if I
can learn to work in the ring, anyone can!
' There's a goddamn news bulletin I didn't hear about when I heard about World War II and all the other great happenings of the past fifty years!
: When did Vince Russo learn to fucking work? Jesus Fucking Christ. I wanna puke.